Tyrion Lannister - Game of Thrones Soundboard Edit

A day will come when you think you are safe and happy and your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth.

A Lannister always pays his debts.

About the gold.

Agreed.

Alright.

And a mug of dark beer to wash it down.

And bacon burnt black.

And how do bears bulls taste?

And I thought we were friends.

And I want you to fuck me like it's my last night in this world.

And I would let myself be consumed by maggots before mocking the family name and making you heir to Casterly Rock.

And if I refuse?

And wanted to carry you into the sea and let the waves wash you away.

And you will know the debt is paid.

And you?

Any man who must say I am the king is no true king.

Apparently not.

As a Lannister always pays his debts.

Ask away.

Bastard.

Because you're a Lannister.

Because you're an evil bastard with no conscience and no heart.

Blackwater Bay.

Bread.

But a wise man once said that you should never believe a thing simply because you want to believe it.

But did your mother call you?

But do continue didn't mean to interrupt.

But have you ever considered learning how to lie every now and then?

But neither gods nor men will ever compel me to let you turn Casterly Rock into your whorehouse.

Casterly rock.

Casterly rock.

Chevrolet tech.

Chevy Latham.

Clever girl.

Come, let's tell you all about it puts you in the mood.

Commentarii.

Confessing my crime?

Delight.

Did Circe have united before or after she took you into her bed?

Did I offend you? Sorry.

Do I need to want something?

Do I?

Do it. Say the word.

Do you accept my proposal?

Do you think I demanded a Garland of roses every time I suffered a wound on a battlefield?

Do you think I'm plump?

Do you understand?

Do you understand?

Doesn't matter.

Don't call me that.

Don't have it here.

Don't take it personally.

Drinking with thieves.

End.

Everything's better with some wine in the belly.

Excellent lamprey pie.

Forgive me, been a rough morning.

Go ahead, Starks. Bastard, aren't you?

Go now.

Good news or bad?

Good.

Have you ever heard the phrase rich as a Lannister?

Have you ever known a horse to turn down gold?

Have you?

Hello.

Help people who want to hurt me.

Here's how it works. I make a statement about your past. If I'm right, you drink. If I'm wrong, I drink. And no lying. I'll know if you're lying.

His Grace, King Joffrey, welcomes you in his name.

Hope so.

How did you hear that?

How many men have you been with? 505,000?

How would you like to be rich?

I am a vile man. I have lied and cheated, gambled and hoarded. I'm not particularly good at violence, but I'm good at convincing others to do violence for me.

I am accused and demanded triumph.

I am happy.

I am the King's hand.

I am tired.

I am Tyrion Lannister of Costaleros.

I am Tyrion Lannister of Costally Rock, Master of coin.

I am Tyrion, son of Tywin of Clan Lannister.

I am your husband. Let me help you.

I apologise for before

I appreciate your loyalty.

I believe you have something of mine.

I can and I do.

I demand child by combat.

I did hear something about that.

I do know that.

I do, my lady.

I don't believe I asked you a question.

I don't believe that giants and goose and white walkers are lurking beyond the wall.

I don't know anything about all of that.

I don't know.

I don't remember.

I drink and I know things.

I expect I'll have to before this is over.

I happen to be a great judge of character.

I have 7 kingdoms to look after.

I have a gift for you.

I have great admiration for the night's watch.

I haven't had a proper shit in six days.

I hope you might speak.

I just want to stand on top of the wall and piss off the edge of the world.

I killed my lover with my bare hands.

I made the bald men cry.

I must do my part for the honor of my house, wouldn't you agree?

I need to speak with you.

I respect that.

I sent you here to advise the king.

I shot my own father with a crossbow.

I should never have told you about that.

I think honesty is important between a man and wife, don't you agree?

I think they would look marvelous decorating spikes in kings landing.

I understand the law.

I understand.

I vomited on a girl once in the middle of the act, not far out of it.

I want to go with you.

I want you to fuck me like it's my last night in this world.

I want you to share my tent. I want you to pull my wine, laugh at my jokes, rub my legs when they are sore after a day's ride.

I want you to take no other man to bed for as long as we're together.

I was wrong.

I will always be a threat.

I will hurt you for this.

I will owe you gold.

I will.

I would kill for you. Do you know that?

I would never do that.

I'm afraid our friendship can't continue.

I'm happy to wait.

I'm looking at you.

I've been a very busy man.

I've thought about killing you more times than I can count.

If I could pick any girl here, I would pick you.

If I had been born a peasant, they might have left me in the woods to die. Alas, I was born a Lannister of Casterly Rock.

If I have offended you, I apologise.

If I lost my cock, I'd drink all the time.

If you deliver a message from me to Lady Erin, I would be in your debt.

If you deliver the message.

If you serve faithfully, you'll be rewarded with a suitable wife.

Is that supposed to make me feel better?

It is my wedding night, my tiny junk cock, and I have a job to do.

It is true what they say about the northern gals.

It's a compliment, my lady.

It's funnier in Westeros.

It's important that we talk about this.

Joffrey.

John snow.

Keep your voice down.

King's landing.

Lady stark.

Let me give you some advice, bastard.

Let's do something I'm good at.

Let's share the road. I could use some decent company.

Life is full of possibilities.

Like, close my eyes. I could still see her tits bouncing.

Listen to me.

Look at me and tell me what you see.

Maybe.

Meaning no offence.

Men's laws give you the right to bear my name and display my colours, since I cannot prove that you are not mine.

Mine is so small.

My brother has his sword and I have my mind, and the mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone.

My family is rich. We have gold, lots of gold, and for them to give you lots of gold.

My greatest accomplishment?

My house is rich and powerful. If you see us through these mountains, my father will shower you with gold.

My Lord father, the King's hand sends his greetings as well.

My mother died giving birth to me.

My name is Tyrion Lannister.

My poor wife won't even know I'm there.

Never forget what you are.

Never mind that now we have something important to discuss.

Never.

No lying or know if you're lying.

No one turns away a Lannister.

No one will hurt you for as long as you're mine.

No, I don't think so.

No, no, no, no, no.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

Now there's a clever man.

Now.

Of course you have. You're a smart man.

Of course.

Oh wait, that's me.

Oh, I'm very sorry.

Oh, my mistake.

Ohh. It's.

Only the gods know for certain. All the rest of us can do is pray.

Perhaps I write to my sister, the queen, about it.

Pig shit.

Please.

Pleasure to meet you, your Grace.

Preparing for a night with your family.

Punch me in the face.

She had no wealth, no lands, no army, only a name and a handful of supporters, most of whom probably thought they could use that name to benefit themselves.

She was a whore.

Should I turn around and close my eyes?

So it would seem.

So put an end to me.

So tell me what you want.

So you're heading down to King's Landing 2.

Sorry to disappoint you.

Sorry.

Stop that. You're making me uncomfortable.

Tell a joke.

Tell her I wish to confess my crimes.

Tell me a joke.

Tell me what you want.

Thank you.

Thank you.

That's cruel.

That's what I liked about you in the first place.

The Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and protector of the realm.

The rest of the world will not.

The true history of the world is a history of great conversations in elegant rooms.

Then the Raven for him. I'm happy to wait.

Then you'll be fucking your own bride with a wooden cock.

Theon greyjoy.

They gave you real power and authority.

They kept her alive, moving her from place to place, often hours ahead of the men who'd been sent to kill her. She was eventually sold off to some warlord on the edge of the world, and that appeare...

Things are expected of me. My father was the hand of the king for 20 years.

This is awkward.

This little man is going home.

Three of them are in open rebellion.

Time for breakfast?

To help me plan the defence of King's landing.

To him.

To Marjorie.

To teach me humility, that gods have condemned me to what you waddle about wearing that proud lion that was my father's sigil in his father's before him.

Told me that this girl, without wealth, lands or armies had somehow acquired all three in a very short span of time, along with three Dragons. He thought she was our best last chance to build a bet...

Try harder.

Until my brother killed him.

Use small words, I'm not as bright as you.

Very warm.

Wasn't aware that you're talking about.

Were you slaving away in the kitchen all day?

What an unexpected pleasure.

What do I want from you?

What do you want?

What is it you want exactly?

What news of Jamie?

What should we talk about?

What you see is a dwarf.

What? Nothing to say.

What's your story?

When confronted with my crime, I blamed a Squire. Poor boy was flogged and. I escaped justice.

When I was a young man, I heard a story about a baby born during the worst storm in living memory.

When I was seven, I saw a servant go bathing in the river. I stole her robe. She was forced to return to the castle naked and in tears.

When I was ten, I stuffed my uncle's boots with goat shit.

When the time is right, you will be given a position fit for your talents so that you can serve your family and protect our legacy.

When they captured me, they took my purse, but the gold is still mine.

Where is like armor and you can never be used to hurt you.

Where is Prince Obel?

Where's your sense of wonder?

Which I have heard is spectacular.

Who are you?

Why are you happy?

Why are you smiling?

Why are you sorry?

Why are you staring at me?

Why did you allow me to come?

Why?

Why?

Yes, milady.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

You accuse me of crimes, I deny them, so you throw me into a cell to freeze and starve.

You are a Lannister.

You are an ill made, spiteful little creature, full of envy, lust and low cunning.

You are the bastard though.

You asked that.

You brought a hole into my bed.

You chose to spend your days, as you always have, bedding harlots.

You have also heard the phrase a Lannister always pays his debts.

You have my word.

You have no cock.

You know who the Lannisters are. I am a Lannister, Tyrion son of Tywin.

You know, still here.

You once loved a woman many years ago, but it turned out badly, so you've never let yourself love again.

You possess above average intelligence.

You want specifics, I suppose.

You wanted to speak to me?

You who killed your mother to come into the world.

You will do as I command and you will marry Loras Tyrell.

You're a smart boy.

You're a smart boy. You don't believe that nonsense.

You're my son.

You've got an interesting face.

Your father beats you.

Your mind.

1.

2.

3 Lords walk into a Tavern, a stark Martel in a Lannister. They oughta aired, but when the barkeep brings them over, each of them finds a fly in his cup. The Lannister outrage shoves the cup aside ...

3.

8.

9.

12.

17.

20,000 unwashed Northerners have known about it, escaped for weeks. Collectively, you control more spies and informants and the rest of the world combined. Do you mean to tell me that none of you h...

80.