Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000) Soundboard Edit

A big ol' Whopper right now

A hundred and fiifty million dollars!

A hundred and fiifty million dollars! Oh, my goodness.

Aach!

Ah You girls are crazy. I'm leaving.

Ain't that right, Daddy? Oh, shit! Get your ass out that chair!

All I'm hearing is trumpets and asses. I don't wanna hear that.

All right, little man.

Am I interrupting?

And best of all isyou're nutty, nutty, nutty for me

And best of all you love me too

And fired

And first thing in the morning, I'll make an appointment to get a checkup.

And he won't tell me why

And I just don't wanna be alone anymore.

And I'm kind of poking around, 'cause I'm a method stripper...

And it's just for you

And it's working beautifully. No, I'm telling you

And show that my love will never hurt or harm

And then the fat man is going to suck him through a straw.

Aw!

Both feet too. Both feet on it

Business is really starting to look up for me, Sherm.

But that doesn't botherme.

But the whole concept ofremoving faultygenes must haveyou in an ethicalquandary.

But today I seen some out in the Frigidaire, out in the garage.

Can I talk to you for a second? Jason, yes, please, come in.

Chunky Butt made this a nice, easy task forme.

Clesius! Oh, look what you've done! Oh.

Closeyoureyes, Anna. I got a little surprise for you.

Come on, boy.

Come on, Buster. Time to go home

Come on! Make it funky!

Daddy's gonna finally get a chance to relax.

Deals will come and deals will go.

Denise Denise Gaines

Denise, I don't think there's going to be a wedding

Denise, will you will you...

Denise! Denise!

Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing

Dynamite!

Everthing was so fabulous.

Extract that titty out. Andass comes out.

Fifteen seconds. Sherman, start the detonation sequence now

Folks, we want toget everybody into the presentation,

Forgive me for being blunt, but you don't expect me tojust take your word for it, do you?

Get a hold of this, chubby.

Get away from my woman. Mind your own business, Willie.

Gotta get up, get up get up, get up, get up

Guy

Hamsters will be hamsters, huh? Oh!

He done loosen my tooth too.

He taught me how

He's getting away.

Hear! Hear! Come on, ya'll. Take it down.

Hey

Hey, hey hey, hey, hey

Hey, hey, hey, Denise. Thank God.

Hey, how's it going there, Sherman? Yeah, Daddy, you startled me.

Hey, let me have a seven and seven. Coming up.

Hey! Get your ass What?

Home. Home? What do you mean? We got business to talk.

Honey, get the baby. He's a boy, and boys don't be doing stuff like that.

How about getting another bottle of red over here? Get some more wine.

I ain't going back inside of you. Mmm. Got milk?

I ain't nothing but a big damn joke to you, ain't I? Tell the whole world!

I can't wait to see, Mama. She gonna

I don't know if it's something I need to talk to the boy about

I don't wanna have to hurt you, Pops! Pops? I'll pop your ass.

I just feel so god awful terrible about what happened to Crackers.

I just want to go on record as saying that

I know. I'll be a total idiot.

I mean, my head's just kind of messed up right now,

I think I'd better get going.

I went by your place. Yeah, well, I had a lot on my mind.

I would. My point exactly.

I wouldn't have even thought about that.

I'll just get a cab.

I'm accepting of you and the things you do

I'm extremely nervous because I really want to make a good impression.

I'm gonna tell you something. I got a razor in this bag.

I'm hit! I'm hit! Forget it, fat ass.

I'm in charge

I'm on my way. I'll wait for a few more minutes and then I'm leaving.

I'm so glad you came. You know, I almost didn't come.

I'm tired ofyour

I've finally found somebody whose heart is true

I've got to be a macho man

I've got to hide this formula before Buddy gets to it. Good idea.

Ignore him, Lord. Ignore all his prayers.

Imagine what your parents must think about me.

In the early spring

Is that why they call you a shrink? Shut up, fat a

Isaac all natural.

Isaac! Bingo. Pokeno.

It could even affect your intelligence. We don't even know if this is gonna work.

It doesn't matter if you wanna take that other job or if you wanna stay here.

It is theoretically possible to isolate the elements..

It's allright, folks. Everything's under control.

It's just

It's not your fault.

Jason, I just know I'm not the one saying all those awful things.

Just friends I guess that means you didn't hit it, huh?

Klump in charge. Yes, indeed.

Klump, party of six, please. Yes, and we're hungry.

Klumpville. Chunkytown.

Love

Love is nature's way

Macho, macho man, yeah

Makes use of Professor Gaines's brilliant research on gene targeting

Mama, you know, you really look good. Have you been losing weight?

Maybe I need to take some ofthat. It don't cure ugly.

Me and Isaac started getting kinda frisky in the car.

Mighty fine.

Million Make that a billion

Move out the way, damn it! Wait a minute. I think I see him.

My God, what happened?

My love for you

Nice lady.

No, don't hurt yourself, baby. You are coming with Buddy.

No, it doesn't really matter what they believe

No, it doesn't really matter what they believe

No, it doesn't really matter what they believe

No, no, don't scream. Don't scream.

Not gonna beat me again.

Not that he's tring to hurt nobody. He's not tring to tell you he don't love you.

Now it's getting thick. See? That's the last straw.

Now someday, we may be able to locate an unhealthy risk factor in our DNA and remove it

Now, there they go.

Now, you know, lordered the special, and you supposed to be dressed as a fireman.

Of a lifetime That sounds good

Oh

Oh, Cle Ooh!

Oh, Crackers has been in our family more than 50 years.

Oh, goodness!

Oh, happy day Oh, happy day, happy day

Oh, happy day, happy day Oh, happy day, happy day Oh, yeah, happy day

Oh, happy day, happy day Oh, yes it is

Oh, happy day, happy day Ooh, ooh, ooh

Oh, just what I asked for You're so loving and kind

Oh, Lord, Clesius, what have you done to yourself?

Oh, Lord, Lord

Oh, Lord!

Oh, my God, Sherman!

Oh, my God. I have to turn the channel. I don't want my babyseeing that.

Oh, my goodness. Excuse me. I felt I felt a little breeze.

Oh, mygoodness. Buddy.

Oh, never mind.

Oh, seeing you in that dress take me right back to the time I got married

Oh, Sherman, yes!

Oh, Sherman! I'm so happy for you, Sherman.

Oh, Sherman. Oh, you sneaky son of a bitch.

Oh, this is gonna be perfect, Chunky Butt.

Oh, well, uh, I didn't...

Oh, you're doing it.

Oh, you're so sweet. Sherman and Denise! Sherman and Denise!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! Oh!

Oh.

Oh. She's driving me crazy right now.

Ohhhh, Sherman, Sherman, Sherman!

On the way over here, a cute little boy pointed at me and said,

Ooh, girl, I don't know if I should. I already had two glasses.

Oooh! Don't take a lot to get Isaac going.

Pearl. He said Pearl! He said Pearl!

Perfect. Now I gotta find something to cut this with.

Petey! Down, boy!

Petey! Shoot him! Shoot him!

Praise the Lord. The eminent scientist, Professor Sherman Klump...

President of Acquisitions. Buddy Love, president of Love Industries.

Professor, I got here as fast as I could.

Right there. Recombining with the gene that governs testosterone production.

See you Friday. Lovely dress. Mm hmm

See,just a little, tiny

Sherman is known as the leading expert in genomic extractions.

Sherman, I am your father. Search your feelings, Sherman.

Sherman, that's okay. I mean, we'll figure something out.

Sherman, there's no reason foryou to be nervous.

Sherman, this is amazing.

Sherman! I'm sorry. Big titties.

Shh, shh, shh. Shh, shh, shh.

So that's where Sherman's been hiding it.

So, uh, ladies and gentlemen, I'dlike to present to you all,

So, um, I'll talk to you later.

Sorry about Crackers. I'm sorry. Okay? Okay. Okay.

Stick with Klump? I just got off the phone with my research people in Langley, Virginia

That's a hard one. Four thousand,

That's cool. That's real cool. Look at that!

That's it, son. Show 'em what the Klumps are made of!

That's it. Daddy, that'll work.

That's right. That's right. Time to go home

The very first building I ever worked on was on this site right here.

There's something very important to me here,

This is some scar shit. Yeah, like The Outer Limits.

Tremendous loss to Wellman, though.

Uh, the Wellman College youth formula.

Unconditional love too

University of Maine? But, Denise, that's in Maine. Yeah

Until you accept the fact that he is apart of you.

Wait for Uncle J. Stud.

We should be able to isolate that gene and extract it. No, no way.

We've got to get to him. He and Buddy have to be combined immediately.

Well, Denise, you can finish the research we started on your own.

Well, no, I mean

Well, she messin' with me. Stop the violence. Stop the violence.

Wellman... will always be Wellman.

What a wonderful day we're having, huh?

What in blazes Oh! Look at that!

What matters to me is you're nutty, nutty, nutty for me

What the hell are you looking at? Come on.

What the hell is this? Am I supposed to believe that you know bujitsu?

What the hell you looking at? Huh? Oh!

What? What?

What? What? That's it?

What's his problem?

What's wrong with you, woman? Don't you wanna be young? No, I don't wanna be young.

When you walk in that door, they gonna think you're Tyra Banks.

When you're lecturing on genomic extractions.

Where's the little snot now?

Which, if effective, will destroy it.

Who didn't appreciate how wonderful you are to me and how special you are to me.

Who's your new friend? She sure is fii ne. Yes, fii ne. What's your name?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

Whoo, whoo!

Why is Buddy Love meeting with Phleer?

Will you really? Really? Really.

Willie, she said it's over between y'all. Besides, you getting the wrong idea.

Without a card or a letter, and now I want a divorce.

Yeah, but he is not a he. He is a gene.

Yeah, hold that stomach in, Robert!

Yeah, later on, me and Isaac gonna watch Mating Season on the Serengeti.

Yeah, yeah. I've been waiting so long.

Yeah!

Yeah. But we can't let him rule our lives

Yeah. I always say, ifyou can't be with the nucleotide that you love,

Yes, Dean, what's that? Oh, nothing much

Yes, let's go, please. Can I talk to Sherman for one second? Then you can have him.

Yes, Sherman Klump, I will.

You all right?

You don't owe him any explan What? Come here.

You ever hit that? Miss Purty and I were just friends.

You got the groove now? Ever time I walk in the room,

You know, fame is gonna pass

You might wanna talk a deal.

You seem to be very fond of this girl, Denise

You, you

You're crazy.

You're not supposed to be out here. This must be your lucky night.

You're sick! I got to tell you, I'm a Jumbo Jack man myself.

You're the man. You're the man. I'm in control.

3855

'cause Denise's motheris coming to this bachelorette party,