Freaks and Geeks (1999) - Season 1 Edit

A 16 millimeter print ofmonty python and the holy grail?

A and that's what he got.

A brand new pair of leather shoes

A couple of after dinner mints.

A cult, you said.

A defaced locker... A humiliated freshman...

A dentist joke!

A drum lesson?

A dummy is someone who calls it one.

A dwarf? i don't wanna be a dwarf.

A few years.

A foreign film? Is that the kind you have to read?

A friend? Do I know him?

A gift.

A gl

A good song takes you far

A guy?

A i'm never gonna care 'bout my bad reputatio

A keg of beer, please.

A kid whose grades have taken a sudden tumble,

A little differently when i saw you yesterday.

A little wider.

A long and happy life.

A lot better than the stayin' in was.

A lot fewer idiots hassling me all the time.

A lot of people have ailments like that.

A lot.

A man has to learn to dress himself.

A marshall stack and a peavey bass cabinet.

A member of an org

A million things. You fall on it. You stab yourself.

A mixture of leaves, stems, and flowering tops

A movie called... stripes.

A novelization of Star Wars.

A parisian? ooh la la!

A protagonist who is both a nihilist

A psychiatrist or something.

A red hot blower, she's a

A sex party!

A slut like wendy franklin

A ttle bit.

A turd?

A, you'll get to see her more.

A.v. is paradise on earth.

Aah!

Aah!

Abeth... I'm comin' to join you, honey.

About being selected to attend the academic summit

About drinking and driving.

About girls.

About husbands that cheat.

About seeing someone spending time

About sitting around in a cloud of marijuana smoke,

About the civil rights movement.

About the only thing she ever wants

About to be sent ike we'reinto that room.

About who's gonna be competing tomorrow,

About your history test?

Absolutely forbid you from seeing this boy.

Absolutely.

Acting like what?

Actually,

Actually, i could go for a hot dog.

Actually, i wrote a song for you...

Actually, i'm a guidance counselor.

Actually, it sounds kinda fun. Do you mind if I come with you guys?

Ad it in the newspaper.

Admit it.

Afeteria today, the school mascot fell and broke his arm.

After a kid throws up?

After a New Year's party

After all, this is your first love.

After hearing about that one.

After school, kim and i are going to the record store.

After what you guys said,

After you get married.

Afternoon, gentlemen.

Against her tongue.

Against north lake?

Agreed.

Ah choo!

Ah, but someday, lady, you'll accompany me

Ah, that's it. ok, great.

Ah, you know what, though?

Ah! Harold!

Ah! Uh...

Ah. Is she from lincoln?

Ah. My allergi

Ah. Remember, you have to do what's right for you.

Ah...um...

Ahh.

Ain't no seats

Al Jaffee's snappy answers to stupid questions.

Alan, how many times a day

Alan.

Alcohol?

Alive is good. die is bad.

All

All clear, you can come back now.

All going on over there.

All guys want to make out

All i can say is, wow, hey, look at where i am

All i can say is... hello, ladies!

All i care about is if they look disappointed after the kiss.

All i know is, what we've gotta do

All i need is time.

All my new friends think I'm some goody two shoes

All over our garments.

All right

All right Cindy. Your spin.

All right everybody.

All right, all righ all right.

All right, all right.

All right, all right.

All right, andopolis, come on.

All right, boys and girls, come on, settle down.

All right, can we can we just

All right, come on.

All right, cool.

All right, Daniel? So can we just play the song right once?

All right, everyone just eat like you'd normally eat.

All right, fellas,

All right, fine. Go.

All right, fine. i'll be a dwarf.

All right, gang. I've had to make some tough decisions

All right, gimme some.

All right, girls, funky chicken. Let's see it.

All right, guys. check it out!

All right, here's the bet.

All right, hit it!

All right, I give up.

All right, i got it.

All right, i gotta get going.

All right, i'll be quiet.

All right, i'll meet you out front right after school,

All right, i'll see you later, mr. Forrester.

All right, i'll see you.

All right, i'll see you.

All right, I'm warning you right now.

All right, ladies and gentlemen,

All right, let's go

All right, let's settle down. We've got a lot to do today.

All right, look, here's what you do.

All right, look. Let's get this straight, all right?

All right, nick. this is what you gotta do.

All right, now, put on...

All right, OK. Just go to the nurse's office.

All right, pal. Let's go.

All right, people, let's go.

All right, Sam.

All right, Sam.

All right, see you guys later

All right, thank you.

All right, thanks, Mike. And good luck with that bomb shelter.

All right, thanks.

All right, that's it.

All right, that's it.

All right, then. walk this way

All right, townshend! whoo!

All right, uh... we better get going,

All right, well i'm gonna go, um...

All right, well, ciao.

All right, well, i'll see you guys later.

All right, you guys. Come on, beat it. there's no hanging out under the stairs.

All right, you guys. Come on, beat it. there's no hanging out under the stairs.

All right, you know what sucks, man?

All right!

All right!

All right! Let's go there, get a bunch of free crap.

All right! Vomit.

All right! we'll go! Shut up!

All right?

All right? got you.

All right? Saturday is an important day for our school,

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. 3:00.

All right. all right.

All right. but if you're waiting

All right. Come on.

All right. Enough already. everybody be quiet.

All right. good night, dad.

All right. Happy Halloween!

All right. I better go sit down.

All right. I'll ask. just shut up already.

All right. i'll be right back.

All right. I'll get the ham, and we'll eat.

All right. I'll pick you up at your house at 5:30.

All right. I'm gonna buy these, man

All right. if you'll excuse me,

All right. Ken miller. here. Talkin'.

All right. Let's go.

All right. Let's hear 'em.

All right. Make it happen.

All right. Ok, bill?

All right. See ya.

All right. see you at auditions.

All right. Simmer down, petunias. We've got a busy week ahead of us.

All right. Sure.

All right. That's it.

All right. Time out. let's do the funky chicken.

All right. Tomorrow, you will get in the shower.

All right. Yeah, sure.

All right. You in, bill?

All right. you know what? Fine.

All rught yum yum.

All that high school stuff disappears.

All the mathletes are gonna be there

All the mathletes do.

All the obvious guys.

All the other girls wanted to do it,

All the people in this town are real religious.

All the prepositional phrases in these sentences?

All these jocks are.

All these make out parties start the same way

All we ask is that you try your hardest.

All we got's hands and feet

All you care about is winning.

All you have to do is train yourself

All you people

All your love

All: HOW FUNKY IS YOUR CHICKEN?

Allright, just for a minute.

Almost done.

Along with my virginity!

Alright, are we cool?

Alright, cool out, man. Not here.

Alright, here's the plan. Bill, you're guarding the keg.

Alright, I think I heard someone say "birthday party".

Alright, it's going down.

Alright, jackpot!

Alright!

Also known as my friends.

Also on there you'll find the police department...

Always good for a...

Am i am i starin' at you?

Am i being too loud? i'm sorry.

Am I supposed to call her "Ms." or something?

Am i the last sane man on this godforsaken planet?

Am i?

Ame...

Amy, tell me what to say,

Amy!

Amy.

Amy's not really a girl.

An

An a what ee? atari.

An atari video set.

An existential enigma.

An old broad like me anymore.

An yes, mr. Jock who cleaned me out,

An, is that is that what you want?

Anarchy's child.

Anceut pc

Ancient babylonia.

And 10% of the population will suffer from it

And a brand new pair of leather shoes?

And a busty succubus from hell...

And a few days after that, we have meatloaf.

And a moralist.

And act out all the characters you'll meet along the way.

And after that, we went to a different mall.

And all my old friends think I'm throwing my life away.

And all of a sudden he'll wake up to go drink out of the toilet,

And at assembly today,

And besides, daniel never wants to go anywhere, anyway.

And bill told his mom he was eating at my house,

And Bobby J.R.'s brother.

And bringin' in foxy boxin'.

And C is a real number, then...

And cheerleaders at your house

And cindy asked me to do it.

And councilman applebee, just last week,

And cracked her teeth.

And cut all the way to the front row.

And do something thatyouwant to do.

And don't be weird

And don't sing to her.

And don't smother her.

And drawing pictures on the wall

And eat junk food all night while we're...

And either way i lose.

And entered the chilling corridors of the Twilight Zone.

And every

And every time I see him, he acts like he doesn't even know I exist.

And expect cindy to start liking you.

And follow the dead everywhere?

And for being bill's mortal enemy.

And for the first time, starting to get into trouble.

And freedom tastes of reality

And george washington carver had many accomplishments,

And get his paws in the poop and get poop all over the place.

And get it together, daniel.

And get over here?

And get some drakes cakes?

And get to wear a jacket with leather sleeves?

And get your butt to class.

And giving him drum lessons

And go and, like, make pancakes somewhere or something.

And go catch a movie or something?

And god.

And guess what is sitting

And had to go home and change my pants.

And have them come home before the party.

And he acts different around her than he does around us.

And he can talk about it?

And he got a concussion, too.

And he never runs,

And he ran over them with his car.

And he said that he sawer over there the other day.

And he said that i wanted to nail amy

And he sees the guy shooting, and he says,

And he was sitting wit like, a young redhead.

And he would start shaking and then... Poop himself.

And he'll shut up.

And he's always regretted it.

And he's always stoned.

And he's such a babe, too.

And her dad catches me, and he starts yelling at me.

And hey, at least, people showed up to your party.

And his head got shot off, right?

And how much did you spend on drugs?

And i asked you guys if i could shoot off rockets with you,

And i believe i'm the coolest guy in the world,

And i can see that this is me

And i can see that this is me

And I can't be late for class.

And i can't get my keys out of my mother's car.

And i didn't know what to do.

And i didn't wear it because i was too embarrassed,

And i don't care, and i'm so sorry.

And i don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation

And i don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation

And i don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation

And i don't have a chance at all.

And i don't really care if you think i'm strange

And i don't really care if you think i'm strange

And i don't really care if you think i'm strange

And I don't think you should let anyone talk you out of that.

And I expect legible handwriting!

And i feel it again

And i found this.

And i groom myself properly.

And I had a few too many. And...

And i had to be taken away in an ambulance.

And I have a headache, and I'm nauseous.

And I have an algebra test that I cannot make up.

And i have to decide whether or not to tell her

And I heard his brother's looking for you.

And i hope that you enjoy your peace and quiet.

And i just sort of wanted to go

And I know maybe it's none of my business,

And i predict every trendsetting guy

And i still got straight as.

And i swear, i'm not just saying that.

And i think i deserve the chance

And I think I finally have a boyfriend,

And i think it's sort of like a date.

And i thought you should know.

And I wanna nail that audition, all right?

And I want it tomorrow, or you're gonna be on trash detail for a week.

And i want the money.

And i want you to have it.

And i will be

And i will be

And I wish I could get that $5.00 back.

And I'll check for wet hair, so don't think you can pull a fast one.

And i'll come up with something good.

And i'll have to stay after school for practice.

And I'm gonna have more fun than any of you.

And I'm in the corner

And i'm never gonna care 'bout my bad reputation

And i'm neveronna care 'bout my bad reputation

And I'm on one of those hydraulic risers, you know,

And I'm playing a 10 minute solo,

And i'm sure if your grandmother knew

And i'mwho gets the lucky gal

And I've been in love with you since I was five years old.

And i've i've never seen you with a woman.

And if it were a race, Millie already beat you.

And if she did, it was just with her peripheral vision.

And if there's anything we can do to make it better,

And if there's nothing objectionable on it,

And if we make him angry, he'll freak out and wreck the a.v. room.

And if you don't do it, I'm gonna know about it.

And if you drop it on the way,

And if you ever got any, Mr. Cute shorts,

And in 5 years, you're gonna be way better than they are.

And in and out and in and out "in and out"?

And is your green army jacket

And it isn't working.

And it seems that our very own lindsay weir

And it started raining

And it w r

And it was very nice meeting you, sam.

And it wasn't a real band. Those guys were just screwing around.

And it's easy to get confused.

And it's like...

And it's not even our dream,

And it's right here in the suitcase.

And its gold

And just a little bit of jelly.

And just cause it's Halloween, they'll hang pictures of devils,

And just look at him.

And just put on a t shirt

And kareem abdul jabbar.

And kiss his picture?

And learning all about retail,

And let's bring up our first contestant of the night

And letting him stay at the house.

And make them sit and stare into space

And maybe in a couple of weeks,

And maybe, um, a lumberjack.

And me at your house.

And miss gloria gaynor knows it, too!

And mr. Rosso thought that a stay in a.v

And my dad had to suction out, like, a gallon of blood.

And my troubles all fade

And my tunes were played

And my wisdom teeth'll be gone

And next thing I know, he's making out on my bed with Kim.

And no cut up bits of sponge.

And not in a good way.

And not to tell anyone ever, ok?

And now all my compatriots are gettin' rich working wall street,

And now he's goin' to Disneyland for his last hoorah.

And now i guess i'm kind of exploring, too.

And now i'm really stoned, and i don't know what's gonna happen

And now i've got one, and you're being a real jerk.

And now look.

And our first question comes from ms. Lindsay weir

And people would catch us talking to him,

And pick up your father's prescriptions.

And playin' it hot

And rat hair is a big one.

And report this as grand theft auto.

And right now, our thespians Millie, Cindy and Harris,

And right. you got it.

And said, "boy, let me tell you what"

And sam passes out

And secondly, you're just scared.

And shake your caboose

And shake your caboose

And she didn't laugh once.

And she fainted.

And she has a baby!

And she keeps a beautiful home.

And she loves her family a lot

And she loves me.

And she really loves church,

And she shouldn't ruin everything for everybody

And she wasn't even really interested in me at all.

And she will not pick you to be her mate.

AND SHERIFF macgruder.

And shoot a stupid ball in a hoop.

And shoot some clams?

And so i did

And so the dentist says i know you heard it already

And so what if she does?

And so, i sort of thought that

And some of you are not gonna like that.

And soon you'll be rarin' to go to that academic summit

And spread it on freshmen's heads.

And start throwing things at us.

And stay in chippewa?

And steve martin says, "there's something wrong with these cans."

And stick it to a voodoo doll.

And still be cool.

And stops hanging out with us?

And tell him to ask me to mona's party.

And that I shouldn't believe a word you say

And that it's not safe to sit.

And that's 2 hours right there.

And that's comin' from a guy who's seen Hendrix live.

And that's not to drink.

And that's that today is movie day.

And that's what i'm gonna do

And that's what i'm gonna do

And that's what i'm gonna do

And that's why I got to stay alert.

And the devil jumped up on a hickory stump

And the junk food drawer is in the kitchen.

And the large angle is 100 degrees,

And the masons.

And the music's all right i think it's about an accordion.

And the music's all right... that is...in and out!

And the other's an ass who's a doctor.

And the Who never even practices Teenage Wasteland.

And then afterwards, they're gonna go swim in this lake.

And then deal with it.

And then he got all tall and muscular in a month.

And then he kissed me.

And then he said that he didn't have a girlfriend.

And then his little legs would get all tense,

And then I gotta go practice. It's not... it's not 5:00 yet, is it?

And then i had to flush my undies down the toilet?

And then I just lost interest.

And then i'll come take care of you.

And then i'll walk home when i feel better, ok?

And then I'm going to take a match, and set her hair on fire.

And then if you had kids,

And then the cops came. it was

And then the sun comes out,

And then this whole thing is gonna start over again.

And then we can go to magic pan and get crepes

And then when he woke up,

And then you got spayed, and you didn't do it anymore.

And then you stay home?

And then you're gonna criticize me

And then you're just gonna want him back

And then you're not gonna have anyone to run to

And then, "hey, schmucko, why don't you go kill bill?"

And then, "what's your favorite place to eat in michigan?"

And then, Lindsay's kids would look like Neal

And then, she didn't know it.

And there i'll be.

And there's this rainbow

And they can't find a fender?

And they don't think about the they don't think

And they have bass.

And they start dancing in the mud.

And they were crying

And they would think we were crazy

And they're they're funny.

And they're on next.

And this one time, you brought a model of thesaturn 5

And thoughts unclear.

And time.

And to myself be true

And triple dating

And turn out the lights when you go out, I'm not made of money.

And walk around with it for a while to get used to it?

And was, like, you know, "nick, i love you..."

And watching tv on their couch.

And we got so much to say

And we kissed.

And we thought maybe you'd like to come with us.

And we thought that was funny...

And we used to take my Dynamite magazines out

And we went to nationals 2 years in a row.

And we went to see him at the state fair

And we went to this football game once,

And we won't make a big deal out of it, all right?

And we'll be gone.

And we'll go to the mall.

And we're gonna be best friends

And we're not sad now because...

And we've never run out of food,

And went to this bar

And what is this?

And what, we're scum?

And when daddy comes home, he never gets no rest what'd he say? Squeeze box?

And when i wanna go home

And when it comes to pot, you know what?

And when it's over, I'll stay and help you clean up.

And which one's mine.

And why the hell not?

And with your rear end

And without whom my life wouldn't be complete.

And yo kim.

And you and me get out of here?

And you and morty are very funny.

And you are defi it?

And you are not to hang out

And you can get your block back.

And you can go see the rolling stones at altamont, too.

And you can live with this?

And you can run and play,

And you can't ask John Jablowski either

And you deserve better?

And you don't care if she cuts the cheese?

And you don't even inhale it

And you dream about the stars

And you gotta have no illusions...

And you know what?

And you know what? You'll probably learn even faster than that,

And you know why?

And you know, you're right. Being a freshman stinks.

And you never have to be on a leash again...

And you pound on a rock.

And you said no.

And you were laughing.

And you would hump her foot...

And you, you're on thin ice, Missy.

And you'd better believe he's not lying about that.

And you'll wind up just like him.

And you're free to rule your kingdom.

And you're gonna do the drills. You know why?

And you're gonna tell me that i'm lame?

And you're gonna wear your big coat, right?

And you're happy in heaven with all the other dogs,

And you're here to tell me that it'll never happen.

And you're killing my chances with vicki.

And you're not doing your homework friday

And you're not gonna want to be my friend anymore.

And you're right. They're closin' the disco next week

And you're too tall to be a good dancer!

And you're trying to set me up,

And you're...

And you've never worn it.

And your essays are due on monday.

And, anyways, i think it's really cool of her parents

And, daniel, watch out for him.

And, huh, people bought it!

And, i tell you, i was a little bit hurt.

And, sam oh, thanks.

And, uh, carol, this is a friend of my son's.

And, uh, when she broke up with her boyfriend,

And, uh, you didn't say anything to neal

And, uh, you got a vacation house up there in Benton Harbor?

And, uh...

And, um, i'm gonna see it again.

And, you know, any time. Ha ha.

And, you know, i can make her happy

And, you know, i thought you'd be a good person

And, you know, she's a wonderful woman

And... and I think he wants to have sex.

And... freeze.

And... freeze.

And... go.

And... to top it all off,

And...every second you're out of this house,

And...there's no leashes in heaven...

Andopolis.

Anization called the taft students alliance for a new america?

Anks, sam. you're sweet.

Another new friend?

Another what?

Any chance of being ready in the near future?

Any day

Any good?

Any morning, any evening

Anybody seen Weir?

Anything cooked that fast can't be good for you.

Anything to talk about.

Anything?

Anything.

Anything.

Anyway, caro all right

Anyway, kind of like you and neal are are now,

Anyway, you know her better than i do.

Anyway...

Anyways Melissa Karpinski is way out of your league.

Anyways, um...

Aoww! Go cart city! huh? All right?

Ap

Are

Are full of video game players.

Are going to a cheerleading competition

Are going to these batting cages, like this goofy golf type place,

Are gonna have some fun

Are just...hors d'oeuvres.

Are on thehollywood squares this week.

Are the dirtiest, stinkiest guys you'll ever meet,

Are there any more ?

Are we boring to you?

Are we still talking about the same thing ?

Are you a deadhead?

Are you a dwarf?

Are you afraid of an open discourse with the students?

Are you all right, bill?

Are you all right?

Are you allergic to, bill?

Are you alright? Did you get egg in your eye?

Are you covering up my hickey?

Are you crazy?

Are you drunk?

Are you feeling ok?

Are you freaking out?

Are you going in?

Are you going out with him?

Are you gonna answer me, keennn?

Are you gonna be home tonight?

Are you gonna be nice to her?

Are you gonna eat with us at lunch today?

Are you gonna go use your own bathroom?

Are you gonna tell him?

Are you gonna tell on me?

Are you guys coming to the disco on friday night?

Are you guys deformed or something? I mean, what's the deal?

Are you guys going out or what?

Are you guys gonna eat with me?

Are you guys gonna tell us

Are you guys recycling the meat?

Are you guys...

Are you happy now?

Are you having fun?

Are you joking? You're joking, right?

Are you kidding? these guys?

Are you kidding? We were gonna do that anyway.

Are you ladies having a nice time at the beauty parlor?

Are you lindsay's brother?

Are you ok, lindsay?

Are you OK?

Are you OK?

Are you ok?

Are you OK?

Are you OK?

Are you OK?

Are you ok?

Are you pregnant?

Are you sick?

Are you still buyin' pot from the same guy?

Are you stoned?

Are you sure you're even in the right school?

Are you taking French next year?

Are you, sam?

Are you?

Are you? you look weird.

Aren't you glad i didn't die?

Aren't you guys a little old for this?

Aren't you supposed to kiss with your lips?

Aren't you the guy

Aren't you?

Argh! ohh.

Arise, doggy.

Arise, doggy. Arise.

As a matter of fact, i do.

As a result, there's no more...

As i ride on my horse through the countryside

As it grew year round?

As long as it's something you can eat.

As many as it takes.

As much as i care about your mom.

As much as that's possible.

As soon as possible.

As soon as possible.

As sure as the stars shine above

As sure as the stars shine above

As the republican national committee student liaison

As you can see,

Asked me to run for the school board.

At assembly today,

At assembly today, they did these improvisations