Louie (2010) - Season 4 Edit

A 70 10 percent chance

A case of criminal negligence.

A chance to deal with.

A clinic?

A coyote in Poughkeepsie chewed the other one off

A democracy until 1920.

A fart...

A four legged dog.

A great time for coming out, um...

A jug of vodka.

A little Twitter, and, uh...

A lot of good things there.

A lot of people even say like, "If I was in a plane crash,

A lot of property.

A lot of the issues that Lilly had

A lot.

A lot.

A month?

A quarter ounce is ten bucks.

A reprieve from the governor.

A small bird died today due to sadness.

A solution to every problem your

A thing happened and I... And we need to talk.

A towel?

A whole bunch of other stuff.

A yeast infection in his eye.

About divorce.

About people who can send their kids to private schools.

About the pot and everything?

Actually it does.

Actually, clinical depression is a big problem amongst comedians.

Actually, today's her day with her mother, so...

Actually, you said two ounces.

Addressed the fact that I had said that.

Africa or India in charge when they have the most people?

After beating the shit out of your helpless, captive wife.

After we separated.

Ah, cock!

Ah, Coke.

Ah, I'm all right.

Ah, okay, good. Yeah.

Ah, okay. Uh, Janet.

Ah, pff.

Ah, shit... Okay, we'll do this later.

Ah, we're talking about you now.

Ah!

Ah! Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah...

Ah...

Ahh.

Ahh.

AIDS?

AIDS.

AIDS.

AIDS.

AIDS.

AIDS.

Albert, would you like to be our farter?

Albert.

All of it?

All of that shit was horrible.

All right Let's do some business.

All right, 5:00. Carlyle.

All right, all right.

All right, all right.

All right, awesome.

All right, big guy.

All right, bye.

All right, come on, Lou.

All right, come on, sit down.

All right, don't go anywhere,

All right, good job.

All right, hit the lights, let's get started.

All right, how about yesterday?

All right, how much you want?

All right, how you doing?

All right, I'll take that as a no.

All right, I'm gonna go ahead...

All right, let's get going.

All right, look,

All right, look,

All right, Louie.

All right, now look up.

All right, okay.

All right, see you later, dude.

All right, so, uh...

All right, that's nice.

All right, that's...

All right, then.

All right, we get some cute girls,

All right, well, where does Warren get it?

All right, well, you deal with that.

All right, what are we doing?

All right, when I sing.

All right, why don't you put your tray down for a second?

All right, you boys go to class.

All right, you ready? Oh, yeah.

All right, you're a good kid.

All right! Oh, yeah!

All right?

All right?

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All the time said,

All this, this is, uh,

Alright okay, seat belts seat belts.

Also, um, your niece...

Am I coming in clear?

Am I coming...

Am I gonna get a cake?

American Express points, it isn't.

Amia came to help her come back there,

Amia wanted me to tell you that you didn't really hear

Amia!

Amia!

Amia!

Amia!

Amia!

Amia?

Amia?

Amia? Um hm.

Amia.

Amia.

Amia's father, um, my brother...

An ounce per scale, is that what it was?

And 12 million other people.

And a career there.

And act a way.

And activities that can stimulate most children,

And already... you're a lock for heaven,

And also, we never talked about this before."

And American history hasn't been kind to women.

And anything that has to do with you

And asked for some product the other day.

And be easy to be around.

And be funny for the troops, make them laugh, you know.

And complain, please.

And could you please tell her

And everybody uses this name.

And everyone could see her underwear.

And frankly, that hurts

And get in the middle of that.

And gust up to four.

And have a good time.

And he gives me a look, like, "So?"

And he is performing his job at his normal pace.

And he laughed in my face.

And he's good with him,

And He's like, "I don't know who told you that shit.

And he's like, "We can hit them!"

And He's like, "Yup."

And he's not one of them.

And he's some nebbish southwest Jew, you're a...

And her pupil is paralyzed.

And his face!

And his girlfriend came over

And his mom is standing there with just a skirt on.

And I brought you to the doctor.

And I can't get the "J" or the "L" keys to work.

And I can't reach you,

And I can't see you guys anymore.

And I couldn't play anymore.

And I didn't know what to say.

And I didn't think it was gonna be this bad,

And I don't believe you that the ship has sailed.

And I don't care if it's the drugs or what,

And I don't care where you're going, okay?

And I don't have anything so what...

And I don't know if I should keep dating her

And I don't really know,

And I don't want to wake up to your dad hating me.

And I don't...

And I feel like, why even be happy,

And I go, "I know it's kind of a pain in the ass,

And I just thought... that maybe we could...

And I looked so cute!"

And I mean...

And I said that I wanted a divorce?

And I said, "Don't talk about me."

And I see a piece of paper on the dressing room door.

And I shoved it in his face

And I still I wanna be alone all the time.

And I think you got yourself into something

And I thought that we had a deal.

And I thought to myself, "Jeez, I wish she felt better.

And I thought, "Really? How much do you wish it?

And I thought, there's no way he wrote that.

And I tried to get them back, I did,

And I want you to kiss me and put your face on mine

And I was behaving badly.

And I won't allow your screwed up stuff

And I would sing, like, a very romantic...

And I, and I can talk to you and we'd live in the same place.

And I...

And I'd need a whole regimen of penis overuse, um, therapy.

And I'm gonna make something happen.

And I'm gonna share it.

And I'm here.

And I'm liking her more and more, so it's... You know?

And I'm not gonna get a knock on my door I don't want.

And I'm not sure I wouldn't be acting the same as you if I were

And I'm too upset now to contribute anything real

And I'm walking by his parents bedroom.

And if their isn't, they are not.

And if this shit doesn't change,

And if this stays like this, you're not staying here.

And it hurt me.

And it should be pretty catastrophic.

And it starts this tiny, and a chicken grows.

And it stinks.

And it's a... we're in... like, this is our weekend with God.

And it's about our stuff that we never solved

And it's actually good.

And it's better now.

And it's nice to have met you.

And it's not that I don't feel certain...

And it's very important to me."

And ****.

And just see how it sounds,

And knock on his door?

And let them keep talking to me like that

And Lilly was... six?

And look at his ass.

And lying to everybody, right?

And make better choices, from here on out.

And me and my mother and my father.

And my issues

And nobody knows what happened,

And now it's just degenerating.

And now she's in the hospital.

And now you don't talk to me.

And now you're calling me.

And now you're gonna try to hornswoggle this kid,

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

And now... you're sad.

And number one would have to be remembering being with you.

And one day, I'm at my locker, and she walked right up to me

And outerwear.

And playing music and making noise.

And put it in some papers?

And really, that's about it, just, hmm, just frowning.

And remember how we made up?

And said I was punished

And say, "Hey, you know the guy who punched the girl,

And she didn't know that you were violently ticklish.

And she goes...

And she had high heels,

And she had things, cane things,

And she ripped out a chunk of my hair

And she very much would like to see you again,

And she was like, "Whaa!"

And she was struggling the same amount

And she was wearing leg braces,

And she's a professional model so,

And she's ashamed that we had sex and...

And she's gonna be sitting there kind of nervous.

And she's leaving the country,

And she's only just now facing

And she's walking.

And so is your mom.

And so now

And so we learn that sudden absence of sound

And so we learn that sudden absence of sound

And so, methane gas methane gas,

And stare at me.

And sterile environment, yes.

And take it from you, right?

And that I am not here, okay?

And that is New Jersey.

And that you grew up working class

And that you were thinking of us...

And the fact is that you can't afford it

And the fact that they all hated you

And the girls love him.

And the Hungarian army, they loved us.

And the influence that they have,

And the principal walked me home.

And the rest of the Miami Heat,

And the, and the window just broke.

And then another kid have it

And then finally, one guy punched a woman

And then he hit the ground and I just started pummeling him

And then he's gonna take us to Mom's apartment.

And then I didn't know what we were gonna do and...

And then I do it and then you shove me away.

And then I gotta go.

And then I thought another thought

And then later, I'm in the cafeteria and this boy I like,

And then she kissed me right on the mouth.

And then she walks away over to her friends.

And then she's leaving?

And then that was it.

And then the teacher came over and told me to be quiet,

And then there is a lady behind her,

And then they go... and, and...

And then things got worse?

And then we, like, walk out,

And then we're all gonna miss her.

And then we're gonna get you some furniture.

And then you're with your mom,

And then, like, all the kids were making a game out of

And then, she'll leave,

And then... that's the last time, I told him.

And there's only three of 'em.

And they all start laughing and she goes, "bleh!"

And they don't get...

And they don't know anyway and they lie.

And they go, "Well, okay,

And they grow up not knowing what a person is.

And they have real problems

And they just say what's in the book.

And they learn how to deal with them in the real world.

And they never know a moment

And they wanna keep it that way.

And they want me to do it all wrong.

And they would... you had to walk around naked

And they'd flick your penis and laugh at you.

And they're gonna be there tonight

And they're not perfect.

And they're spending time with her

And they're stupid

And too far is too far.

And trillionaires of Hampton Beach.

And we were there for each other.

And we would... we would do funny music

And we...

And we're doing this now.

And we're like, "I don't know you, bitch."

And what did He even do?

And what interests you.

And whatever you do, don't get caught.

And why isn't God on the news?

And yet, I have been so grateful that we had..."

And you become just a sack of organs.

And you can go be a comedian.

And you didn't know her name,

And you don't know what I...

And you had to get off, where would you be?

And you have a chip on your shoulder

And you have to get to 28th Street...

And you just start seeing stars.

And you know what it says?

And you know what?

And you know, we never really

And you need to come get her.

And you resent it, and I can afford it.

And you someday have to face what you did here?

And you talk about when you were with me.

And you're getting close to her

And you're having a great time.

And you're like, "Where's heaven?"

And you're my girlfriend

And you're totally right that this about my problems

And your dumb kids.

And your greenies, what have you.

And your time with the kids?

And yuck!

And, and, and I got two weeks to get it straight, two weeks.

And, Doug...

And, uh, she's going back, and...

And, uh...

And, um, so she will be here for one month,

And...

And...

Any of those kids from down the lake.

Anyone Albert?

Anyone?

Anyone.

Anything they tell you.

Anytime. All right, you got it.

Anyway, he did a pretty good job, certainly dressed well.

Anyway, he did a pretty good job, certainly dressed well.

Anyway, I've been going through

Applaud if you think you're going to heaven, anybody?

Are there any people in there?

Are we being crazy or are we geniuses?

Are you being serious?

Are you going to the dance?

Are you gonna go to the dance?

Are you gonna introduce me?

Are you gonna say a big thing now.

Are you gonna screech at me now?

Are you gonna sit there and tell me that he did this by himself?

Are you in there?

Are you kidding me?

Are you mad at Jane?

Are you mad at Lily?

Are you mad at me?

Are you mad that I threw away your house?

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you serious?

Are you still in downtown?

Are you the drummer?

Are...

Around with the kids

As intimate with her as if she was your wife.

As long as she gives me back the other half."

As many as you can get?

As parents that there's not

Ask for some product?

At an alarming rate.

At least now it's frowned upon.

At the door,

At this point, all of Manhattan below 23rd Street

Aw, Louie!

Aw, this shit, it's so beautiful

Awesome. Cool.

Aww.

Aww...

Back in Hungary?

Back when you were a person?

Balls and leave everybody alone already.

Be a star and then you and your friend can go lick each other's

Beca...

Because I think she stole them.

Because I won't allow it.

Because I'm laughing.

Because it's gross and disgusting.

Because it's time for me to go home.

Because Janet is not their mom.

Because she's gone,

Because she's leaving the country.

Because that's way not me.

Because they don't know, you see?

Because we wanted men to be in charge, so it made sense.

Because you all have, um, slaves somehow still.

Because you can't just make a chicken.

Because you can't.

Because you got me to this place.

Because you have low self esteem.

Because you need one.

Because your feelings are not in control.

Because your mom is the first person who takes care of you.

Before the expected landfall...

Before, remember, I left something here?

Belly is full.

Benefit, Hamptons.

Better bye?

Better bye.

Better than what?

Big stuff.

Blake?

Boom, free donut every time she's there.

Boom, I get the ride.

Boom, it's my turn.

Boom, new sign with my name spelled correctly.

Boom, time for breakfast.

Boy, misery is wasted on the miserable.

Boy, that takes a lot of confidence

Brad!

Broads are like us now, pigs.

Brought my iPad

Bush You wear pajamas.

But ballet starts at 3:00.

But do you want to know what you are to me,

But don't go all of a sudden.

But either one is a person that I don't want to be with.

But expected to survive the attack.

But he got sick, he can't do it.

But here's the thing.

But how is this... how is this possible?

But how she copes with it is going

But I I don't wanna deal with that.

But I can't.

But I don't know what to do.

But I don't like being...

But I don't recognize any of them.

But I don't think there's a heaven.

But I don't think you can say that there's no God, uh,

But I don't... I don't know.

But I got something going on now.

But I hate this school.

But I might want some lemonade.

But I never really get mad at you, Jane.

But I thought that something, I...

But I wouldn't trade it.

But I'm getting a lot of resistance

But if this one waitress is working,

But it was so okay to beat your wife until so recently,

But it's just...

But Jane was too young,

But Louie?

But my name is Todd Barry with an "A".

But neurological diseases that eat half of your brain.

But not much around the world.

But now she's gone and I miss her and it sucks.

But she just wanted me to tell you

But she's leaving, so.

But she's leaving.

But shit now,

But thank... thank you.

But that shit had to go, man.

But the economy is shit here right now and...

But the truth comes out, man.

But the truth is...

But then she never let me back on.

But there's gotta be a way to decide

But they're really not.

But this is a gentle kid.

But this is a good idea.

But this is just our weekend with Dad,

But this is me you're talking to.

But we don't do it.

But what's going on?

But when I saw this old lady,

But you are a classic idiot.

But you are...

But you know what?

But you said that I got under your skin

But you said...

But, holy shit, lonely sounds like paradise to me.

But, uh, we thank you for coming.

But, you know, these... these things can be good.

But...

But...

But...

But...

Buy some shit.

Buy what shit?

By four of his fellow inmates... Jesus.

By her feelings.

Bye

Bye bye.

Bye, bye.

Bye, Daddy.

Bye, daddy.

Bye, daddy. See you later.

Bye, I gotta go, bye.

Bye, Mom.

Bye, Mommy. Hey.

Bye, now.

Bye, thank you.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye. Bye.

Call this guy, don't talk to me, Louie

Can I ask you a question?

Can I get a pound of the Italian roast?

Can I get some of these?

Can I get them back?

Can I get Three Miller Lites, two Long Islands...

Can I have another?

Can I have that lighter?

Can I just

Can I stay now? Yeah.

Can this just be okay?

Can wake the sleeping mind same as an alarm,

Can we leave now while this feels kinda even?

Can you ask her?

Can you come, can you come here?

Can you do me a favor and, uh, tell her

Can you do that, just trust

Can you get me one of those scales from your school?

Can you get yourself there?

Can you give me a ride home?

Can you give us a light?

Can you help me?

Can you light a fart on fire?

Can you light a fart on fire?

Can you tell her don't go?

Can you tell me where the towels are

Can you tell me where the towels are

Can you work clean?

Can you...

Can't ask everybody.

Can't you just figure out how to live a life already?

Catch up on a little Facebooking,

Check it out.

Check!

Chickens are dumb, right?

Chickens are dumb.

Chickens are stupid.

Chickens are...

Chickens...

Chinese food after the dance?

Chocolate? Yeah.

Christopher Columbus is a murderer.

Clean jokes.

Clean up the egg. Yeah.

Clean?

Clearly, you two are not communicating,

Coffee, juice.

Coke, please?

Come back here.

Come back right now, okay?

Come here, come here, come on.

Come here, Pepper.

Come here, turn around.

Come here.

Come here.

Come here.

Come here.

Come here.

Come here.

Come here.

Come here. Where?

Come here. Where?

Come in here, please.

Come on in.

Come on in.

Come on, come on, come on.

Come on, come on, let's go, let's go.

Come on, come on.

Come on, Daddy.

Come on, damn it.

Come on, get in here.

Come on, I need you to

Come on, let's go eat.

Come on, let's go inside.

Come on, Louie, it's in the manual, and you're late.

Come on, Louie, please,

Come on, off with the shirt.

Come on, shut up, man.

Come on, tell me, who.

Come on, that's boring stuff

Come on, try it, it's really good.

Come on, you gotta do it.

Come on, you piece of shit.

Come on!

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. No.

Come over here, come on, get over here.

Come over here.

Come over.

Come with me, come on, come on.

Come with me, come with me, come on, come on.

Come with me. No, no.

Coming out, good job for you guys.

Coming up together?

Coming.

Congratulations.

Constitute grand theft.

Cool.

Could you do it?

Couple of people... few people.

Croton?

Cuff him.

Culling together a few radio spots

Dad Oh, my God, Dad, stop.

Dad, stop

Dad, stop it!

Dad, stop it.

Dad, stop, let go of me!

Dad?

Dad.

Dad.

Daddy

Daddy, I tried to explain to her, I really tried.

Daddy, is Pamela lady your girlfriend now?

Daddy, listen to me, okay?

Daddy, she was really upset.

Daddy, stop it, I wasn't doing anything.

Daddy, stop it, you're embarrassing me!

Daddy, stop!

Daddy, turn around.

Daddy, we got rid of the ugly couch,

Daddy, when am I going to see you again?

Daddy!

Daddy!

Daddy!

Daddy! Daddy!

Daddy?

Daddy? Shut up!

Daddy.

Daddy. Hi, hi.

Daddy. What?

Damage from the storm is so far

Danielle, uh, you know Louie?

Danny McDowell?

Danny.

Dick!

Did a great deal 80% of the door, $10 ticket.

Did a plant make a new one of you?

Did you get a chance to get yourself some dinner?

Did you hear me?

Did you see the...

Did you see them being born?

Did you see those little white babies come out

Did you two just get high, just now?

Did you, was it you?

Didn't you, Louie?

Din.you and me, dinner.

Dinuziti dollars and 18 cents.

Diseases and maladies that you could never dream up.

Disgusting.

Divorced or married, the fact is,

Do I gotta cut off your goddamn finger,

Do I gotta hurt you? No.

Do I want to eat, and like, what part of the person?

Do it again. Ready?

Do it for science.

Do the whole... I mean, it's not...

Do you care I don't I do not care.

Do you ever...

Do you have anything to say to your mother?

Do you have one?

Do you have proof against Louie?

Do you have something to tell me?

Do you hear yourself right now?

Do you know how much a Chinatown bus

Do you know how much a Greyhound bus to Poughkeepsie costs?

Do you know how much a train to Poughkeepsie costs?

Do you know the only thing happier than a three legged dog?

Do you know who the first President is...

Do you like it?

Do you need anything?

Do you remember that we were best friends back when we were

Do you remember that?

Do you remember that?

Do you remember...

Do you want a donut?

Do you want a drink?

Do you want me to...

Do you want me to...

Do you want that?

Do you want to go out to eat?

Do you want to have sex one last time?

Do you want to leave?

Do you want to stay for dinner We got plenty of food.

Do you... Do you travel?

Do your own shopping, uh...

Does anyone know what this is?

Doesn't mean that you get to have more decision