Dead End: Paranormal Park - Season 1 Edit

A beautiful young woman such as yourself should be tucked up in her boudoir

A bit more of a challenge, but still objectively a dreamboat?

A brother, Patrick. It was actually his birthday last week

A Day Hag?

A great powerful demon warlock.

A human is upset, so you need to back off!

A human?

A magical musical to help us sneak through.

A Merry Christmas in July, everyone.

About Pauline! Dead End. This park.

About Pauline?

About the overly insatiable caterpillar.

About yea high, cartoony looking…

According to Fakin' and Negs: A Pathetic Man's Guide to Dating.

Action!

Actually don't answer that.

Actually, I think you'll find it's in the beginning of the… [yelling] third!

After what happened today,

After whatever Courtney and Pugsley said to him.

Again with the blood?

Agreed

Ah, come on, Pugsley, it's just one eye.

Ah, fine. I guess cheering up Courtney

Ah, forget it.

Ah, gotcha!

Ah, little Red.

Ah, maybe we are dead.

Ah, no!

Ah, Norma. No talking in class.

Ah, there you are.

Ah, these stink.

Ah, yeah.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! [chuckles nervously] Hi!

Ah! [scream]

Ah! [screams]

Ah! [screams]

Ah! [screams]

Ah! [screams]

Ah! [screams]

Ah! [screams]

Ah! [screams]

Ah! [screams]

Ah! A place of our own. Just like I said.

Ah! Ah! Ah! I wanna get off! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Stop it!

Ah! I thought the employee line was supposed to be faster.

Ah! No, no. Stop it. Huh? What's happening?

Ah! We only have seven minutes left.

Ah. Oh, these railings?

Aha! Now we're talking.

Ahh! Barney!

Ahhh!

Ain't you seen the posters?

All I have to do now is choose.

All of you, you're not supposed to be here!

All on track.

All right, cool.

All right, dear, let me fetch you some bubbly milk,

All right, folks, get ready. He's on his way.

All right. Keep your fez on. Here you go.

All the mascots want is to go out and

All the victims are her look alikes.

All these years, I've been blabbering on to you.

Almost. The flies are in the web.

Although, they didn't establish that… Are you even listening?

Although, those are pretty cool too.

Am I right?

Am I supposed to thank you for everything?

Am I? I've wanted to ride this thing for years!

Amateurs.

Amid this sea of variously clothed humans.

An ingenious network of tunnels with secret entrances hidden everywhere!

An uninterrupted sealing spell around here?

And [hesitating] I never would anyway.

And a gluten free cupcake for Leo.

And a lot less chewy.

And acted like it wasn't even happening.

And after. And maybe during too?

And as punishment for entering our kingdom,

And being here, it's like a whole new place

And defeating these invisible fear monkeys

And every time I use it, I can feel him coming

And extra blankets, and a first aid kit, and some more blankets.

And finally, the Human Knot of Trust.

And for Norma, a doll!

And greet.

And half the time, I don't either.

And here is the list of emergency contacts,

And how?

And I can't let anyone see that unfortunate footage.

And I can't lose him.

And I just ran away instead.

And I know why.

And I live in a theme park now.

And I miss Patrick and my little patch of dirt that used to be a flower bed,

And I should've listened to you all along.

And I still don't have any friends, except maybe Barney.

And I suppose every great detective has to have a sidekick.

And I think it was a Thursday morning, actually.

And I think there's a way we can help each other.

And I'd rather not have hundreds of people dying in it.

And I'll see you back to your slumber.

And I'm gonna find it,

And I'm in need of a new one.

And I'm not letting you kids get in my way!

And I'm the comic relief.

And I've been asked, and paid,

And I've missed you.

And if that doesn't convince you,

And if you see anything that seems just a little outta sorts,

And in a moment, we'll be boarding the monorail.

And it cost me the best years of my life.

And Jennifer was her latest victim

And judging by that "radical ad" soundtrack,

And leave me with all these kids?

And look, totally worked and

And made lots of memories.

And maybe someone could scratch my head because I have been a very good boy today.

And maybe, one day, you too

And my timeline gets flooded with spoilers.

And now feed it to the skull.

And now they're pretending to be dinosaurs.

And now, back to Hox's Castle.

And now, there's a demon at the sleepover party.

And once you've summoned her and she's stolen your sleep,

And Patrick's out there somewhere.

And please, take good care of your children.

And remember, as Pauline always says, if you see anything suspicious…

And she did try to sacrifice us

And so have I. I…

And suddenly you're a hag.

And that calls for my second favorite chart topping song,

And that new one too, I guess.

And that's already everywhere.

And the recommended daily calorie intake of a pug is…

And the Russian translation was really lacking.

And the whisper of the wind through the eaves to keep me company.

And then she turned this way.

And there!

And they're pretty cranky.

And those Pauline look alikes go missing all the time.

And today, we've got to grab

And turned away anybody who's come sniffing.

And we can use your powers to get me home.

And we can't hide from them forever.

And what about you, freckles?

And what is that place?

And what is the opposite of trust?

And what you need is a nacho?

And what's she got to do with Jennifer's disappearance?

And when the full moon emerges from the clouds outside,

And when you reach the top, the reward is to die for.

And who is this Barney you speak of?

And why am I like this? [gasps]

And you can't decide if you're a demon or a dog.

And you know by paying more,

And you must be the manager. Love the costume.

And you start talking about how you wish I got the broccoli.

And you two must be the offerings. I didn't know there'd be a choice.

And you're not having another dinner with her

And, finally, missing people aren't missing?

And, oh, cheese gas.

And, uh, oh, take your time.

And, uh, then she ran through here.

And, um… Uh, I haven't eaten in days

Angels?

Anniversary Comeback Extravaganza concert will commence shortly.

Another 15 years hyper fixating on something else.

Another time.

Anxiety.

Any last words?

Anybody?

Anyhow, Mom's coming to pick me up for celebration tacos

Anyone for karaoke?

Anyone in there? Hello?

Anything but musicals.

Anyway, bye.

Anyway, round two!

Anywho, I'm glad Patrick got to have a day off from everything and just have fun.

Apparently, that's where they were invented.

Are right in front of us.

Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

Are you hungry? Uh, we could get some food after the ride.

Are you in line for Dr. Love's Heart Flow?

Are you okay, Norma?

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you okay? Do you need help?

Are you rolling your eyes at your mother?

Are you sure you don't want to tell them you can talk?

Are you sure? You only get one.

Argh! And where's Pugsley?

As security guards.

As soon as the night cockerel has sungeth his sweet lullaby.

As those there mountains are my witness, I will put you away someday.

Ask him about himself.

At a dinosaur restaurant in a theme park?

Avoid the sword!

Aw, are you scared that Barney meeting his parents means he's gonna move out?

Aw, thanks.

Aw. Buddy.

Aw. It's just a little crabby.

Aww. [chuckles]

B, refund their ticket. C, ask…

Back from faking his own death for tax purposes.

Bad Pugsley!

Bad. Yeah, he called me bad, can you believe that?

Badyah, can you rewind a little more?

Badyah, she needs to learn your real name.

Barborah is crazy.

Barborah isn't a name.

Barney is so good at it.

Barney, are you okay?

Barney, come on!

Barney, did you hear that? She's busy.

Barney, I can't find Patrick!

Barney, I get why you left, but please say hi to Mom and Dad,

Barney, I'm right here!

Barney, it's me! Your brother!

Barney, quick!

Barney, this is bad.

Barney, this isn't real. Trust me.

Barney, we figured it out!

Barney, we have to keep going.

Barney, what are you doing here?

Barney, why won't you text back?

Barney!

Barney?

Barney?

Barney?

Barney?

Barney. Barney, look.

Barney. Barney. Barney…

Barney's run away from his problems before.

Barney's Sunday morning blueberry pancakes,

Be right back.

Beach day! Beach day!

Beautiful, beautiful. All right, let's get on with the show!

Because everyone in here is already your friend.

Because I want Patrick and Barney back.

Because I, the Night Hag, am stealing it forever!

Because I've signed up to the Spirit Package

Because no one lives forever

Because of how many people I harm.

Because teamwork makes the dream work.

Because that little piece of you that stayed in Pugsley

Because when we go back, everything will be different.

Because you are a bad person who only thinks of yourself.

Because, um, he looks, uh, yummy

Before that!

Before we go back, there's one more thing I need to see.

Behind you.

Believe me, I've been there,

Besides, this is my only opportunity to ride it before my shift starts,

Betrayed you? Abandoned you? Left you for dead?

Bingo!

Bingo.

Bippity boopity Patti LuPoney mankin tessori manzela Minnelli!

Bread?

Breaking news, Temeluchus and Zagan of The Demonic Royal Family

Bring me my encore!

Buddy, it's okay.

Burgers, Smoothie, stay here and defend the house.

But an enemy of the angels is a friend of mine.

But can you actually help us, maybe?

But can you deal with your own?

But do I look like somebody who plays with…

But ever since you fell out shooting that commercial,

But everyone else was doing it

But first, I'm getting my brother out of you.

But first, this beast has held my brother in its dumb little body long enough

But for a split second, you feel like you're in an '80s movie

But he was totally not looking at me instead. Okay?

But how? I can't control Temeluchus.

But I can send you to the underworld another way.

But I cannot let my feelings for you interfere with my job.

But I do. I'm your biggest fan.

But I don't get what's lightning round about this.

But I guess it worked too well 'cause we're all under this spell.

But I know you guys would rather I have a Say Your Prayers salad.

But I never saw that.

But I reclaimed as my sunbathing spot.

But I still feel

But I still missed my sister.

But I've watched a ton of documentaries about human courting rituals

But if anybody else wants to turn back right now,

But if I get this job, we can get a place of our own.

But if I let him take over, I'm not sure I can come back.

But if Jennifer's free now, Pauline needs a new body

But in my heart, I am alone.

But it doesn't work.

But it's all this stuff that I find hard.

But it's not so bad if you let it happen.

But it's too hard to keep the peace at home right now

But none of this is real.

But not me,

But not me.

But okay. Um, abracadab

But someone outbid me.

But that body, you're not yourself. You changed.

But that doesn't make it okay for her to treat you like that.

But that's how I feel.

But the first option is way more fun.

But the posters!

But then I get the nachos

But then who is in Barney?

But then, where's Barney?

But they can't, because they're all dead.

But this is only the start.

But when the angels retaliate, we'll be ready!

But where's Norma?

But why didn't they mention it to us?

But working at Phoenix Parks is my dream come true.

But wouldn't we be eaten alive,

But wouldn't you rather, uh, ask Pugsley a question?

But you always had weird taste.

But you can! You can skip home whenever.

But you can't help thinking that any second now it might show up?

But you do?

But you gotta get back out there and fight!

But you have to understand,

But you kids and your horror films!

But you know what? It didn't work.

But, uh, I was wondering,

But, uh, pssh, I wouldn't want to… [uncertainly] not have any?

But…

But… [groans]

By force.

By hiding him away?

By Samara Mutual.

By the way, I am not his servant.

By the way, you were amazing as Patience Bonaparte.

By, uh, saving everyone?

Bye!

Call me before you go in.

Calm down, Leo. She isn't real.

Can be an ex husband of Pauline Phoenix!

Can I be the dinosaur?

Can someone please possess me already? I need to get back into the In between.

Can… can I… Hmm.

Can't I find a girl who can actually give me what I'm looking for?

Can't we all just stop possessing one another?

Can't you talk to Logs? Sweeten him up?

Capricorn. I actually just got my charts done.

Careful how you use it.

Chamber of Cuddles? How do we get out?

Cheryl?

Claimed that she was the real Pauline for years,

Colleagues.

Come back! [grunts]

Come home, Barney.

Come on, back it up. Back it up.

Come on, Barney. If we bring Courtney back this prize,

Come on, buddy. We need to go help the others.

Come on, come on, bookmarks. Don't fail me now.

Come on, give him a real bite.

Come on, guys.

Come on, kids. Y'all know the words.

Come on, let's go.

Come on, maybe we can look up a way to beat them.

Come on, Norma, you know you're on TV? Since when?

Come on, Norma. You can do this.

Come on, Pugsley. It's just a melon baller.

Come on, Pugsley. You can do this.

Come on, she's trapped in there!

Come on, swim!

Come on, take my hand.

Come on, we have to get out of here.

Come on.

Come on. It's not funny, I'm scared of heights!

Come on. Open up. [in sing song voice] I brought soup.

Come on. We want to use our lifeline.

Congratulations, questers!

Congratulations!

Could never wrap my tongue around that one!

Courtney says if you stay here for too long

Courtney, before you gouge the demon out of me, can I ask you a question?

Courtney, no. That's Norma.

Courtney, not now!

Courtney, stop trying to eat Pugsley. Pugsley, stop offering to be eaten.

Courtney, this isn't a joke.

Courtney, we need to wake up Norma and get out of here!

Courtney, we're sorry. We need your help.

Courtney, you got to stop.

Courtney, you have to send me back! I found her! I found Jennifer!

Courtney?

Courtney? But she

Courtney. Are you leaving?

Cousin Patience, I can't sleep.

Cuddles? Oh, talk about a callback.

Custodian, you're on chief demon bashing duty.

Darling, could you do me a little favor here?

Day Hag.

Dead End lobby, stairs, hallways,

Deal.

Deathslide, you're with me.

Demon king? What episode was that in?

Despite what my many enemies would tell you,

Despite your valiant efforts to rid me of my demonic curse,

Did D Did Barney just straight up die?

Did his brother show up?

Did you tell her Barney would be there?

Did you want a photo, puddin'?

Did you want a photo, puddin'?

Did you want a photo, puddin'? I think the booth is this way.

Ding dong!

Do not give orders to the great Temeluchus!

Do what you gotta do

Do you follow any sports teams? Is there a genre of music that you prefer?

Do you have a flowchart, maybe? I'm really more of a visual learner

Do you know who did?

Do you mind?

Do you normally play?

Do you remember the last thing Jennifer said to you?

Do you think we can trust her?

Doctor Reverend Harvard,

Does it matter what she says?

Don't be jealous just because I'm her favorite.

Don't be sorry. Be ready. Look.

Don't call me that. My name is Temeluchus!

Don't let that inner saboteur pin you down.

Don't make it weird. Uh, so what do you say?

Don't say I never take you anywhere nice.

Don't sue.

Don't suppose this place has any bedrooms?

Don't tell me you believe those conspiracy theories.

Don't those faces look familiar to you?

Don't try to stop me!

Don't you know anything about Dead End?

Don't you wanna know who got the job?

Don't… Don't you have friends?

Dude, you're the Chieftain of Torment. Eat him!

Easier said than done.

Easy peasy.

Easy there. I'm just messing around.

Eating children's dreams and living in a swamp

Ee yah!

Eh, let's try my idea first.

Eh, worth a try.

Eh. Fair enough.

Either she found some food,

Employees and family members.

Enough! I shall find and claim my own throne.

Even my grandma. Uh, wanna come?

Even the impersonators.

Every secret location whenever we want?

Every single nut and bolt of this whole darn attraction.

Every single piece of evidence for the disappearance of Jennifer Swan.

Every time you do your own stunts, something goes wrong.

Everybody calls me Barbara.

Everybody, give it up for Temeluchus and his human servants.

Everybody, go slowly.

Everyone is looking for you. Do you need help?

Everything worked out fine.

Everything.

Ew, powdered gravy mix?

Ew!

Ew! No thank you.

Exactly! Not even Pauline has done those things.

Excellent.

Except it was raining.

Excuse me

Excuse me! Coming through. [chuckles]

Excuse me! I will have you know that this ad is for the trendiest,

Excuse me. Sorry. Coming through. I left my bag.

Excuse me. This is a Paulines only area!

Excuse me. We're having a family discussion.

Excuse you, I'm 11 next month.

Families are hard. Don't stress about it.

Far too schmaltzy. Your turn.

Faster, Barney.

Fear is that little monkey who sits on your shoulder

Fear is the wall that's stopping all of you connecting.

Feels like it's missing that Pauline magic.

Fellow demons, let us join hands, claws, tentacles.

Felt like you were miles away.

Ferris Wheel, fan out for Main Street.

Ferris wheel? I have a name.

Finally an intelligent conversation.

Finally everyone can see the truth!

Finally!

Finally.

Find the survivors, and get them out of the park.

Find your greatest fear.

Fine, I'll do this on my own. [yelps]

Fine!

Fine! I'm out of here.

Fine! It's your funeral!

Focus on what you want.

For a minute there I thought I'd have to share with this weirdo.

For dogs, one smell is worth a thousand barks.

For I am something beyond humanity now.

For instance, Norma, I know you had eggs for breakfast.

For ride ideas, aren't they?

For the Phoenix Parks daily mascot parade!

For what it's worth, you make a pretty good detective.

Forget there's demons, forget there's magic.

Forgive me, but I had such awful night horrors.

Frazzled, slap happy, sleep deprived servants of the Night Hag.

Gargle water for seven seconds and then sing,

Get casting on the line.

Get down!

Get in before us?

Get on with it.

Get real, Tem. You're busted.

Getting excited, boys? It's really quite a ride.

Give her a few kingdoms or something.

Give it up for your host, Rancibalafloss El Hoxtrot!

Glad you're having fun,

Go on, say it

Go right ahead, comrade.

Go, Barney!

Going back to my seven year long coma.

Going to her first job interview!

Gold pass and I have questions.

Good

Good choice. Fleshy.

Good for you, but if you don't mind, I was brooding.

Good luck!

Good luck.

Good luck.

Good morning, everyone. I'll be your guide, Norma.

Good point.

Gosh, I really hope it wears off before Act Two.

Got to see everything he did.

Gotcha.

Grammy Gram, stop.

Great job. Keep it up, everyone. Now, reach for the stars.

Green is not my color,

Greetings, y'all.

Guards, throw these traitors into the dungeon.

Guess we'll just meet her at the beach.

Guh, come back.

Guys, come on.

Guys, enough talking, her monologue is coming up.

Guys, guys, you gotta come see this.

Guys, help. I'm so bad at this.

Guys, wait for me, wait for me. Gu

Guys? Guys?

Ha ha, yay!

Ha ha! [grunts]

Ha!

Ha! Nice beard.

Ha! Wrong.

Ha! You see, I seem to have misplaced my last body,

Hall of Mirrors, and then nothing?

Happy birthday!

Happy birthday?

Happy birthday.

Have a good day!

Have a little… flirt?

Have been spotted fighting in the neutral plane,

Have fun dealing with the angels without me.

Have you been in here this whole year?

Have you come to challenge me?

Have you looked at 'em? Really looked at 'em?

Haven't met anybody else in this dump for a year.

Haven't you been on all of them already?

He always gets everything before me

He cannot see me.

He didn't do it.

He hasn't been on the show since you guys were primordial soup.

He looks so, uh, delicious and adorable.

He said well trod stones.

He said, "Take your time," and look.

He shouldn't have said that.

He was very well instructed.

He's an affectionate kid.

He's done one of his little disappearing acts

He's gonna be fine.

He's looking for a throne! Yes! To Camelot! [pants]

He's not co op [yelps]

He's still might barf, but, uh, just use those blankets.

Health and Safety. Smoothie. And Deathslide.

Hello, I'm Pauline Phoenix.

Hello, my darlings!

Hello, newbies. Welcome to Phoenix Parks.

Hello, puddin'

Hello, who's ready for some team building exercises?

Hello?

Help me!

Her idiot fans lapping up every word.

Here he comes! [laughs] The demon king's gonna love me for bringing two humans.

Here we go.

Here we have Barry, Norman, and a little snowman looking creature.

Here's a little hint to help you on your way.

Here's the birthday cake.

Hey there, little…

Hey, buddy. Uh, you okay?

Hey, can I be the dinosaur?

Hey, do you nice people want to jump in the line?

Hey, excuse me. As Health and Safety officer,

Hey, I thought it was you.

Hey, I'm really sorry

Hey, it's my welcome home party.

Hey, it's Pugsley!

Hey, nice to meet you in real life

Hey, Norma, Pauline is way cooler than I thought.

Hey, Norma, we still on for lunch?

Hey, Norma, you did it. You got me out!

Hey, Norma! Uh, how do we get home?

Hey, Patrick, happy birthday to the best little brother in the world.

Hey, Sheriff, you ready to order?

Hey, Temmy, I was trying to save you, not execute you.

Hey, that kid looks a lot like…

Hey, wait! Courtney, come on!

Hey, what's wrong with my scratches?

Hey, why don't we go walkies instead? I mean, for a walkies. A walk.

Hey, why you be acting so foolish like just…

Hey, you all left me behind to pay the restaurant tab.

Hey, you can have this if you want

Hey, you okay?

Hey, you! Beat it! Leave him alone!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! Don't mess with the skull, guys.

Hey! Dr. Love did some pretty experimental episodes.

Hey! This is my comeback show.

Hey! What gives?

Hey! You remembered my name

Hey.

Hey. You went kind of silent for a while there.

Hi yah! [groans]

Hi, I'm Barney.

Hi, I'm Logan Nguyen.

Hi, it's me, Pugsley, the talking dog.

Hi.

Hmm, "I've gotta go now."

Hmm, I got a few theories.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm. [spits]

Hmm. I don't know.

Hmm. I kind of want the High Noon hamburger,

Hmm. No!

Hmm. There's a bit of you missing

Hmm. Ugh, nah.

Hmm. Well, she is a demon.

Honestly, you spend a few millennia

Hope you all had a fantastic day.

Hopefully I can smooth things out.

Hopefully, tonight's contestants will be a lot more robust

How about "Happy birthday"?

How are you the Phoenix fandom admin?

How bad could it be?

How could you?

How do I know if it

How do we stop it?

How do you know about all this?

How does it feel to be at rock bottom and still find a way to fall?

How far reaching is this spell?

How long have you been here?

How long have you boys been together?

How long were we in there?

How was I meant to know? No one's ever won before.

How were they?

How you doing? What do you do for a living?

How's that for a comeback, huh?

How's your first day going?

However dubious.

Huh, Pugsley?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh? [gasps]

Huh? [gasps]

Huh? [grunting]

Huh? [screams]

Huh? [whimpers]

Huh? I don't know. I just found it back there.

Huh? Oh, for crying out loud.

Huh? Oh, it's okay. Come on.

Huh? Wait, you're…

Huh? What are you guys talking about? Huh?

Huh? What?

Huh? What's that?

Huh? Yo, Pugsley! Uh, where are we?

Huh.

Huh. [laughs]

Huh. Looks like we've got two minutes to spare.

Huh. What?

Humans and dogs.

Humans are riddled with it,

Humans, tell me. Who is the king of this realm?

Husband number four, well, it's our old pal Chester Cole again,

Husband number one, tiger dentist Chester Cole!

Husband number three, Swedish pop sensation Jonas Tornqvist.

Husband number two, baked bean mogul Clinton Jones.

I always bring a skull to a party.

I am called Harmony.

I am listening to you.

I am not a prize to be won.

I am not gonna leave your side.

I am the great Demon Chieftain of

I applied 500 years ago, and now I can't even go.

I asked you to stop dressing me up when I fall asleep.

I call dibs.

I came back when you left my body.

I can absolutely believe Courtney betrayed us.

I can be whoever she needs me to be.

I can come to Friday night dinners. It's fine.

I can deal with the job. I can even deal with the demons.

I can do this myself!

I can hold your hand the entire time if you want.

I can just be Barney and I can choose if and when I tell people

I can stay here forever with Pauline. With my Pauline.

I can't believe anyone would be so dumb.

I can't believe Courtney betrayed us.

I can't believe it. Pass me the popcorn.

I can't believe that dog.

I can't believe you're in a dog. [scoffs] It's so stupid.

I can't deal with them. [grunts]

I can't go home ever!

I can't lose my job. That's Pauline Phoenix.

I can't say! She told me not to.

I can't stay up that late. I get bags.

I can't wait to get my scratches!

I can't, Barney. Too much magic.

I can't.

I chose it as my hiding place, just like you.

I could do with those powers right now, Pugsley.

I could get some line satisfaction feedback while I'm here.

I could give you diplomatic immunity.

I did not see that twist ending coming.