Wrong Turn 2: Dead End Edit

A painful, blasphemous life.

A sensitive jock, a bi polar vegan,

About six months.

Accomplish the challenge

Actually, being vegan is why you got picked to be on the show.

After the apocalypse!

Ah, that's my Delilah.

All I have to do is shoot your character intro and we're good to go.

All right, boys and girls, listen up.

All right, boys and girls.

All right, guys, one sec. Okay. Keep it Ioose.

All right, I'm going to get us out of here.

All right, let's see what we can see.

All right! I'm ready for my 1 5 minutes, Hollywood.

All right. All right. All right. All right. I'll stop. I'll stop.

All right. Everybody grab your gear and let's get going.

All right. I'm heading back to the RV. You coming?

All right. No phone, so. . .

All right. We can't wait any longer. I gotta shoot, like, now.

ALL: Amen.

Almost.

Amber, Amber, help me!

Amber, don't do this. Get away. Go. I'm not leaving you !

Amber, go. No!

Amber, I'm scared.

Amber, Jonesy. Did they make it?

Amber, no.

AMBER: Come on.

AMBER: Don't look down.

Amber?

Amber?

Amber. One tour of duty in lraq.

Amen.

America's sick.

An extreme fuck up and Miss Hollywood.

And action, Dale!

And also, cell phones, PDAs, etc. , give them to Neil.

And dozens of them are scattered all over the playing area.

And give it to any player you choose and automatically survive the day.

And I know how to make sure that happens.

And I want all the screen time that I can get.

And if any of those pig fucking hillbillies come around, I got your back.

And in the apocalypse,

And it wasn't first class like you promised.

And left a mess, and the poison killed off all the game.

And now that we're family tell me, who went down on who first?

And one of them is already contaminated.

And post apocalyptic crazies are all around you

And pretty soon their babies started gushing out of their mama's womb,

And see who will perish in the chaos and who is one step closer to $1 00,000.

And surviving the Radiation Elimination.

And then they grow up, have kids of their own,

And they tied her to the hood of their truck.

And this jock is just standing there.

And who's expendable.

And you earn the right to take your radiated card

And you might have to resort to gulping down

And you'll have a chance to win 90 grand.

And, and a lots of work to be done

And, and l can't blame aII on the sun

Any different from that other survivor show.

Anybody?

At the end of the day,

Awesome.

Baby's coming now. You stay here with your ma.

Back at the river shooting the unrated version of the DVD.

Be careful.

Because I'm irresistible?

Because it's my job.

Because there's nothing in it anymore, including phones!

Because this business is tough. Besides...

Besides, I really don't want to run into Michael at the trailer.

Best jump to it before it gets dark.

Birth defects, no shit!

Boo ya.

Brando, eat your heart out.

Broken arrow, that's really going to help us hunt for food.

But Fearless is my middle name.

But I'm past it now.

But not my drive to win.

But only one of you can be the Ultimate Survivalist

But there's nothing about it on the map.

But we haven't seen or heard any animals or birds.

But we're dead meat. Where to?

But while you Hollywood freaks are out here sleeping on rocks

But you don't need a piece of shit like that in your life.

But you have a chance to survive the day

But you're still alive.

But, hey, I can get down with the patriotism.

By giving your card to another player

By the way, these directions suck. This project sucks.

By these.

Bye.

Can we do that again?

Can we keep this as our secret?

Can't be a football hero, so you'll settle for a hero of any kind.

Can't see anything.

Chill, Ramba. The prize money's going to be mine.

Colonel, what happens if we lose the elimination round?

Come on !

Come on, come on.

Come on, dude. That was funny.

Come on, give me your wristband. No.

Come on, guys, where you at?

Come on, man. Help!

Come on, Nina.

Come on, you're into me, like, a little bit.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. I read your bio back in the RV.

Come on. It's part of the game.

Come on. Just tell me one hot experience that you had.

Come on. No, you wouldn't.

Cruel if you ask me. But don't worry.

Cut!

Cut!

DALE: It's the end of the worId. Society in chaos.

DALE: Okay, we're moving out.

DALE: So what's the tattoo?

DALE: You cannot survive the apocalypse alone,

Dale!

Dale? Be quiet.

Damn it! Neil, you can't move! We're hardwired in.

Damn straight. We're going to series for sure.

Destroyed my shot at a pro football career

Do not take wrong turns

Do you got my back?

Do you want to get wet?

Don't be dead. Don't be dead.

Don't kill me, brother. I'm a good Christian man.

Don't look in the lens.

Don't push your luck.

Don't screw around. It's not cool.

Don't worry, it just means you're disqualified.

Don't worry. I'm going to get you help. Okay?

Down here.

Dude, if you're saying this to get in her pants, forget about it.

Dude, we're the red state cast from hell.

Dude, you know why they call it abandoned?

Dynamite stuns them.

Eight, seven,

ELECTRONIC VOICE: One minute remaining.

Elena and I are just greasing the wheels a little.

ELENA: Uh huh !

Enjoy the great outdoors, Tarantino.

Enough said. Semper Fi !

Every day you will be given a Radiation Elimination Card

Finally, we're a team.

Fish is ugly, but they fry up real good.

Four, three, two.

From now on, you'll be the uptight lesbian sister I never had.

Fuck her.

Fuck you !

Fuck you. Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck! Fuck face.

Fuck.

Fucking weekend warriors.

Game's over. Amber, let's go.

Gave me the happiest days of my life.

Get off her!

Get the fuck. . .

Get up.

Getting out of here. I'll call the techies to drive me back to Wheeling.

Give me credit for the car. Nice ride, huh?

Give me your hand.

Go out and search for food.

Go! I've got it. Go!

Go.

Go.

Go.

Go.

God bless her soul.

God damn it! I knew that prima donna was a problem when we cast her.

God didn't give you a pair of balls?

God, I would get this!

God, look at the twins.

God. Who am I kidding?

Going for another one, huh?

Good Iuck to aII of you.

Got it!

Got to stay close to my young'uns. You motherfucker!

Governments no Ionger in control.

Grease the wheels. You two are warped. I'll catch you all later.

Greasing the wheels? Yeah.

Great, you know. You spend money on film school, just to...

Great.

Guess he thinks it'll be entertaining to send a city girl into the woods.

Guess you'll get your chance to do just that.

Guess you're not here.

Hard to know.

Have fun. I've got to go take a wicked piss, mate.

He doesn't approve of my lifestyle.

He popped up and just kept going.

He wanted a show for middle America, but he hired a lesbo,

He's going to put them in the RV.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello? Hey. Everyone's leaving.

Hello? I need to use your phone, please.

Help me up.

Help me!

Help me!

Help me! Help me!

Help me.

Help us.

Help!

Help!

Help! Help!

Help! Please! We're here. We're trapped !

Help.

Here are the tire tracks, the empty equipment cases, the garbage.

Here I have the book that will change your life,

Hey, bonehead !

Hey, come and shoot. We need your footage.

Hey, everyone's leaving.

Hey, I hit one of them young'uns once in my pickup.

Hey, I made the street comp finals.

Hey, it's a great opportunity.

Hey, it's the parrot heads.

Hey, listen, I'm doing this gig for, like, free,

Hey, look. Calm down. They'll find us here!

Hey, Michael.

Hey, Neil ! I'm back, yo.

Hey, what's up?

Hey, where's M and Elena?

Hey, you good?

Hey, you sang your way to the top seven the last time you were on TV.

Hey!

Hey! Don't hurt me!

Hey! Where you going?

Hey. Hey. Find Nina.

Hi, I'm Jake. You're Nina, right?

Hi, l'm Elena. I'm Iike a fox.

Hillbilly cannibals. M is a genius!

Hmm.

Hold on. Don't drop her.

Hold this.

Holy shit!

Holy shit! That's her leg.

How about you?

How about you? What you plan on doing with the cash?

How did you know?

How many of those freaks are out there?

How the hell are we going to find them in here?

Huh?

I ain't stopping.

I am retired Marine Colonel Dale Murphy.

I am tapping that.

I bet you're a reader.

I brought it with me for the game.

I can't believe I did it!

I can't even move.

I can't reach !

I can't throw a football no more, but I'm stiII athletic.

I can't.

I caught my fiancé in bed with my best friend.

I could help you spread it on all those hard to reach places.

I do 200 of these a day.

I don't know. There's some old paper mill here,

I don't see them.

I don't watch television.

I figure I can still help others, you know, stay in the game.

I going to kill you, man ! I going to kill you !

I got to do this. Breathe through it.

I grew up two counties from here.

I guess I'll go first.

I guess I'll just stick to my low carb diet and hope for the best.

I guess we go that way.

I guess you and me are a team. Hello?

I guess you can't choose family.

I hate reality shows. They're pretty idiotic.

I have a mother and six nieces that would never speak to me again.

I haven't seen anything to eat.

I hope you fucking choke!

I just really need this money.

I just trusted too many of the wrong people. All my life.

I mean, there's a good chance I'll be the first to go.

I need to put pressure on that.

I need you to pull your hands free.

I never had sex with a pig in my life!

I only give it up to winners, not guys who choke.

I owe my father a bunch of money.

I plan on being the last woman standing.

I plan on getting my degree in sports medicine.

I saw you drop this while you were getting out of the RV.

I spiraled down pretty hard.

I swear. Cross my heart.

I think I need to cool off.

I thought he was "the one," you know?

I thought it might come in handy.

I thought it was 1 00.

I want to make one phone call and I'm gone.

I want you to go find Nina.

I was up all night on the red eye

I wish I had abs like yours.

I would have, but since there's no need to be making friends. . .

I would've said, "This sucks. You're on your own."

I wouldn't want to mess things up with Mara.

I'll be right behind you. Go.

I'll give you something to choke on.

I'll kill you !

I'll kill you ! I'll kill you, motherfucker!

I'll kill you ! I'm gonna kill you !

I'll kill you, motherfucker!

I'll see if I can find something to eat in the woods.

I'll see you two later.

I'll set these up. I've got time to kill anyway.

I'll teach you to mess with my kids.

I'm a shark, man ! I gotta keep moving or I die. You know what I'm saying?

I'm going to get you out of there, all right?

I'm gonna fetch some water.

I'm good.

I'm here.

I'm here. I'm here.

I'm in The Cat in the Hat myself.

I'm Jake.

I'm just going to call them from there.

I'm just goofing.

I'm just thrilled that I actually get to live another day!

I'm kidding. I'm just. . .

I'm like a complete spaz when it comes to anything even remotely athletic.

I'm more of a pacifist myself,

I'm never going to dis you or any other female ever again.

I'm not going to tell you again. Keep quiet!

I'm not into men.

I'm not kidding !

I'm serious. You were like Xena, Warrior Princess.

I'm so glad I ran into you guys.

I'm so gonna suck at this. Why'd I let you talk me into it?

I'm so stuffed, sex is going to have to wait.

I'm so there, dude.

I'm sorry I didn't help.

I'm sorry. That came out wrong.

I'm starved, and damn, that smells awesome.

I'm staying put and winning the hundred Gs.

I'm vegan. I don't eat or use any animal products,

I've got a buddy who works in his studio in New York.

I've got you, now.

I've known scumbags like this all my life.

If I was his girlfriend,

If I win, I am free and clear of him for good.

If I'm such a celebrity, Tommy, get me a movie.

If that's what you're worried about.

If they even made it here at all.

If this is what Armageddon's like, bring it on, baby.

If you eat fish, maybe we should head towards the river to find some food.

If you win, what will you do with the money?

Including the swimming kind.

Input. Output. Yeah, that works. Looks good.

Instructions on the back explain your survival challenge.

Is that all right with you, funny man?

Is that all you got, bitch?

Is that barbecue?

Is that what you did to your fiancé?

It is a test to show us the way to find the light.

It is aII a test.

It rocks, M.

It's a reality show pilot!

It's a survival of the fittest kind of thing, you know. Finders keepers.

It's a test of your personal will, your endurance and fate.

It's brilliant, Michael. Really. Mara? Thank you.

It's cool. We outran them.

It's dead out here and I'm hating you about now.

It's dead quiet out here.

It's Elena.

It's freaky, right? It's like we're all alone.

It's funny because you never know when your life's going to change.

It's gonna be a long five days.

It's killer, middle America family entertainment, mate.

It's like going to war.

It's M's first project and I'm just trying to be supportive.

It's Mara. She's M's girlfriend.

It's my shoulder. It's dislocated.

It's not a game, okay? These hillbillies were eating her finger!

It's not me.

It's okay.

It's one of those Twists of Fates. I set it off.

It's supposed to take place at the end of the world, man.

It's the chemicals changed them.

It's the end of the world and the odds are against you from the start.

It's the kind of thing America loves in its reality shows, right?

It's the least this fucked up family owes us.

It's too late. We've got to get out of here now!

It's what he deserves!

It's why you make the big bucks. What are we going to do?

JAKE: Come on.

JAKE: Don't do it. Leave her alone.

JAKE: Look, you guys get to the RV, okay?

JAKE: Looks like she's been in there forever.

JAKE: You stupid man.

Jonesy wasn't kidding.

Jonesy,

Jonesy, shut the fuck up!

JONESY: Mmm. Pork. Man, these hillbillies really know their barbecue.

JONESY: Oh !

JONESY: Oh, shit.

Jonesy!

Jonesy! Get me down. Get me down.

Jonesy.

Jonesy.

Just as ugly as them trout I got hanging out there,

Just keep moving.

Just like you and me, brother, except uglier, and a lot stronger.

Just over the ridge.

Just remember, everybody, let's make it feel real.

Just the trout. Only way to bring them to the surface.

Keep quiet and keep moving.

Killed my chances at a pro career just like that.

L figure l'd use the talents that God gave me, right?

L learned, more than anything, what it takes to win.

L'm going to be the ultimate survivor, because on my last show

Leave her alone!

Leave her alone!

Leave her alone.

Let Amber and Jonesy find us.

Let go of me, you son of a bitch ! Let go of me!

Let go of me, you son of a bitch.

Let go of me!

Let go. Let go of me!

Let me look at it.

Let's go! It's time to move out!

Let's go. Let's go, let's go.

Let's go. Where?

Let's just get out of here.

Let's just keep going.

Let's just keep going.

Let's see.

Listen, just make sure everything's copasetic with Neil, okay?

Look, come on. Come on, Nina.

Look, I know it hurts

Look, I'm just here for the money,

Look, I'm not going to give you my radiation card,

Look, if I do that,

Look, if we bring this back to share with the others,

Look, it's 4:00 a.m. in LA. Can I go back to sIeep?

Look, Kimbo, you can't afford to make a wrong turn here.

Look, Kimster, your Q score is going to go way up

Look, l've got power yoga in, like, two hours. Did you find it yet?

Look, man, I want to create chemistry between you two, okay?

Look, man, people want to be entertained.

Look, split up. I'll find Nina.

Look, there's the RV.

Look, you don't have to hide anymore.

Look, you're not on some summer resort trying to make alliances,

Looks fine.

Lot of folk go in them woods. Never seen one come out.

Lsn't your belt made of Ieather?

Lt gives you what you need to find that light.

Lt's pleather. l'm not a hypocrite.

Lt's the infinity sign. Because I want to be remembered forever.

M thought that there wouldn't be a lot for you to eat out here

M, wait.

M, what the fuck? I am standing here giving it my all

M: All right, everybody. Ready?

M: All right, let me just get focused here, and action.

M?

M? Is that you?

M? PIease...

M. Get me the fuck out of here!

MAN ON TV: Brothers and sisters, you must know

Man, l wanted to be in the NFL so bad. Since I was six.

Man, M is so screwed.

Mara, where the hell is Kimberly?

MARA: How about we take a break?

MARA: I think I see the river.

Mara!

Mara.

Mara. . . Dead.

Maybe there's a public phone.

Maybe they found a CB radio, called for help.

Maybe this is a trap to make us lose the game.

Maybe you'd stand a chance.

Mission fucking accomplished.

Mmm hmm.

Mmm hmm.

Mmm hmm.

Mmm.

Modern conveniences are a thing of the past.

More than the ones you run across, that's for sure.

Most of the folks around these parts left.

Motherfucker.

My foot!

My friends call me Jonesy

My therapist told me I should sit in one of her suicide support groups.

Myself.

Neil !

Neil, l can't figure. This seems...

Nice shirts, boys.

Nice to know there's still hope for mankind.

Nice work, Dale.

Nice.

Nina can you pull your hands free?

Nina, easy!

Nina, wait!

Nina, wake up!

Nina, wake up. Nina.

Nina, you've got to try. Nina!

NINA: Go, go!

NINA: Help me! Help me!

NINA: It's one of them.

NINA: Oh, God.

NINA: Oh, my God. She was just a little girl.

NINA: So what are you going to do?

Nina? Are you okay?

Nina? Help me!

Nina? Nina!

Nina.

Nina.

Nina. Come on, wake up.

Nina. I'm a survivor because l know there's only one person l can count on,

Nina. Nina.

No more sex talk.

No place to hang out our washing

No worries.

No, dude, don't. Don't Iook.

No, I can even get you on Howard Stern if it's good.

No, I don't think so.

No, l didn't think that you were.

No, much obliged, but I got to get going.

No, my job is done. I'm just going to stay here and tan.

No, Nina. No, Nina!

No, no, no, no.

No, no, no. Look, man,

No, no. There's that old paper mill out by the main road.

No, please! Please, God, no!

No, that sucked, dude. l told you to shave that run!

No, you don't get it.

No!

No!

No! I'm not like you. I don't want to be.

No! No, Nina. We cannot leave them, okay? Let's go.

No.

No. Actually, I've got to rethink the story lines.

No. Fuck, no!

No. I'll just deal with it my own way.

No. Please!

Nobody's going to want us out of the game, huh?

Not to make friends, okay?

Now M said no food.

Now we take the road, we're sitting ducks, all right?

Now, I stay clear of them myself.

Now, you can go grease the wheels.

Now, you're the star.

Now! What?

Number one all the way, baby.

Of personal destruction,

Oh ! Uh. . .

Oh, come on. Just change your clothes, put on some bug spray.

Oh, dude.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Hurry, Amber, he's coming.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Oh, honey, I totaIIy understand where you're coming from.

Oh, Jesus. This family's been doing this for decades.

Oh, my God ! Oh, my God ! Oh, my God !

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. That sounds like M screaming.

Oh, Nina. Nina.

Oh, no. Holy shit!

Oh, no. Oh.

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit! Okay, what's the challenge?

Oh, shit. Amber. Amber, help me.

Oh, sweet.

Oh, you the man, Wojo.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Help. Nina, it's a trap!

Okay, but, Mara, it's "M" now, not Michael.

Okay, everybody.

Okay, here's a clue.

Okay, hold on.

Okay, I was wrong. The paper mill's a great idea.

Okay, I'm going down there.

Okay, I'm going to follow Elena and Jake first, as planned.

Okay, pull and twist, okay?

Okay, what's going on, man?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. I'll do it for you.

Okay. Yeah. What the hell?

Old Mikey really put you on the spot, didn't he?

One more.

Only she used a bandanna.

Oo rah.

Outstanding !

Over the next five days,

Overnight you've been thrust back into the Stone Age.

PA: It'll be all right. Don't worry. . .

People in these parts might not take that talk too well.

People want to see hard bodies, wet and glistening in the sun.

PIease! M? M!

Please, don't. Please.

Please, let us go.

Please, someone, help us.

Please! No, don't die. Come on. Breathe! Breathe!

Please. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going.

Post apocalyptic crazies are roaming through the forest?

Pretty wife.

Pulp mill shut down near 30 years ago,

Put him in the hospital. Come on.

Put your producer hat away and get your head in the game.

Radiation poisoning is a reality.

Rain or shine, in five days, only one will remain.

Ready? Okay.

Really?

Really?

Remember, you have to work as a team

Right. You know, it's abandoned.

Run, no, run.

Run.

Run. No.

RV and cell phones are back that way.

Say hello to the missus for me.

Semper Fi and shit.

Send it someplace else.

Seriously, Neil, light a match.

Sexy, sleek and I aIways get what l want.

She deserted us.

She doesn't play on our team.

She was in on it. I got this.

She's hiding.

Shit ghost!

Shit!

Shit!

Shit!

Shit! Are you sure?

Shit! The techies were supposed to finish setting these up before they left.

Shit.

Shit.

Shoulder was never the same.

Shut up.

Since my arm won't let me play football anymore,

Six months ago,

Six, five,

So don't take them off.

So how old is the scar?

So I want everyone to stick together and watch where you step.

So it's old news?

So l'm at the two, l'm at the one, l jump, l leap, bam...

So then after coIIege you just bounced around

So we're just going to have to go with five.

So you did the whole tour of duty in Iraq thing, too. That's cool.

So you make friendships, perform tasks together.

So,

So, Nina, which way should we. . .

Son of a bitch !

Spear. I like it. It's so long and hard.

Stop laughing !

Stop messing with her.

Sue me.

Sue me.

Sue me. Give it back. Ah ah !

Take a breath. Let's go down there and kick his ass.

Tell Mara I say hi.

Thank you. God, I wish I didn't have to do this.

That might be the only thing I can eat out here.

That we Iive in a worId of technology that promotes sin, where the...

That will let you live the way God has intended...

That!

That's a bear trap.

That's cheating.

That's good.

That's it.

That's it. Show them what you're made of.

That's Kimberly's tattoo.

That's what makes it different.

That's why I have to win this game.

That's why you're all wearing these.

The better off you'll be.

The fucking RV is gone!

The headsets are transmitting audio and video back to the edit bay.

The nearest town is 50 miles away.

The number each of you picked decides your teammate.

The only white meat.

The player holding the simulated radiated card is dead.

The same team.

The sooner you realize you can only depend on yourself,

The toolbox!

The whole family's deformed.

The woods are all wired up, 32 cameras and mikes ready to go.

The worId has been devastated by a catastrophic disaster

Then come on.

Then it's less likely that anybody will give us their radiation card.

Then just wait for me outside.

Then why are you doing this?

There it is.

There was a girl that used to do the same thing,

There's an exit door through there.

There's light. There's light.

There's no animals around here.

There's no wildlife to eat around here, they're eating us!

There's one family stayed on in this holler,

There's something in you he doesn't see that I do.

There's still no answer.

These hillbilly freaks. They killed Mara

These kind of shows always screw with their contestants.

These six contestants have been thrown together in a devastated wasteland

These six contestants will be put to the ultimate test.

They call me La Conquistadora.

They float like lily pads and I just scoop them up.

They got to be around here somewhere.

They killed her!

They're fucking cannibals, dude! Shut up.

They're not trapping bears. They're trapping people.

This end, too. All right.

This end. . .

This is awesome!

This is cheating.

This is cool.

This is going to suck.

This is it.

This is just a test to see if we bug out.

This is so F'd in the A.

This is the crossroad...

This is what you need to find your way.

This isn't right.

This place is dead.

Three surgeries on my rotator cuff

To be on this TV show.

To living a life of sin,

To stay away from the darkness,

To survive the game.

To top it off, he used my credit cards to put me into major debt.

Today we're going to split into three teams,

Today's a good day to die. Where's my producer?

TOMMY: HeIIo?

Truce?

Trying to find yourself?

Turned out even worse.

Two, three, four. . .

Um. . .

Us parrot heads will be in Margaritaville back at the hotel.

Wait, you're breaking up. Hello?

Wait. There's a turn off.

Wait. This is too easy.

Waiting to take you down. They're represented

Wants nothing to do with me.

We all made it. We'll meet up with them at the mill, okay?

We are going to assemble back here at 1 800 hours

We are rolling.

We call them Twists of Fate. They are survival challenges