Kids Quotes Soundboard Edit

Added to him on a silver platter, a baby can fly. Yes, yes, nothing but the best for you, darling.

As your wife and my kids.

Been here? Would you talk about you? Wait till I come out. I smelt your shit with 22 years now you can't smell mine for five min.

Better teach this kid some control before he kills somebody.

Bitch, shut up. Guts. He's only 8. Lots of guts.

But could I get a pass? Bet you whenever having a baby kid, I never even had my appendix out.

Colours and we just have so much to be thankful for. First off, my my sons no longer act like retarded gang bangers.

Come on, my baby. Are you traumatized? Did they do terrible things to you?

Do you have your kid spills his milk? What do you do, slap him in the head?

For the stripe seems to be the leader. You know what? What? I'll bet every kid in America would like to have one of these. They might even replace the dog as the family pet.

Fuck the kid makes it look so God damn easy.

Get something to drink with you. Metal is giving this little kid no licking.

Get the shit out of me, buddy. I look man. A lot of having a kid or whatever takes risks, whether you're fucking cousins or not.

Hard. That's why I can't hold my tongue. These kids are my grandchildren and you are raising them wrong. They are terrible boys.

He'll let us in. You never know. He's a kid. Kids are stupid.

Hey, Alan. If you wanted to scare the kid, you could have pulled a gun on him, you know? Yeah, I know kids.

Hey, that's enough. Look, what I'm trying to say is you're just a kid, and to be a manager you have to be a man. Otherwise they'd call it Kittinger.

How come you talk to the kid who believes kids anyway?

How do you feel about that, Dave? Well, well, Jim, the way I see is a kid probably would have done it anyways. You know, a bad upbringing in the home or whatever. That's very interest.

I could come back later, Mr. Harkin. Well, no, no, no. It's just parents stuff. It. It seems that our youngest, Chris, was on something called acid and was firing a bow and arrow into a crowd. You ...

I read about an experiment once, kept germs away from the kid. Raising pure and scientifically. First time he got out in the rough, he caught a cold and died in pneumonia.

I thought I told you to bring me some good looking kid. Not this fat sausage Stew and wino.

Listen to me. Do you think when your kid is up right pampered and spoiled like the Siamese cat, blaming the kids is a lion, not shape? You know exactly who's to blame.

Look it ain't loaded. What the hell are you doing? I don't want my son learning to pull Dr. Bys.

Mr. Perkins, is your mommy here? No, Sir. Actually, she's not at the market buying Pampers for all his kids.

No. Why shouldn't they? All kids, no parents. Probably, if it's your finish.

Not even the dispatch office. And I wanted your facts. It's your wife. I like the kids in bed by night. I want the dog fed, the yard watered, the gate locked, and get a note to the milkman. No more...

Not the way it is. You kids that did nothing but punks. Sissified. So quick to pick up a gun. You're scared to take an ass, whippin.

Nowadays these kids to take out everything radar, sonar, electric toothbrushes.

Oh. One other thing. If you guys ever have kids and one of them, when he's 8 years old, accidentally sets fire to the living room rug. Go easy on him. OK.

Something like that happen. I basically, you know, if the kid was retarded, I would, I would, you know, drive it up to the country. And just like, you know, open the door and let it sit. You're fre...

Turned into a baby. Our parents are having a baby too. They had sex.

Well, baby, how awful. Oh yes, yes, I saw it and thought of you.

What's up? What? You better get your butt back in that house for your Mama. Come out here and try to kill us all.

Wrong. Everything. Draw. You call this a happy family? Why do we have to have all these kids?

Yep, I guess you're right. A couple of kids could never survive this journey.

You guys around? Stay out of trouble, you crazy kids.

You know what I think? I think that kid is some kind of lunatic or something.