James Gleason Soundboard Edit

But I wanna get up close well use your telescope boy bring him right up to your eye

Do me a favor go on out and get married and have a lot of babies but stay out of the newspaper business

Ellen will you please stop being a woman

Holy smokes wasting my time listening to this mad woman

I read about an experiment once kept germs away from a kid raised him pure and scientifically first time he got out in the rough he caught cold and died of pneumonia

It's a beautiful miracle a miracle that can only happen right here in the good old u s a and I think it's terrific

Look i'll have you understand I built a television transmitter in '38 before you even knew what television was yes but did it work I don't know I never did get to finish the receiver

Old buzzards like me live forever

Packs everything including a gun

Show me an american who can keep his mouth shut and i'll eat him

Shucks I knew ohm's law before they even passed it

There's cruelty and hatred and tyranny in the world you can't make believe they aren't there

Well boys you can chalk up another one to the pontius pilates

What we need is fireworks

When the old boys wrote those words 'life liberty and the pursuit of happiness ' they sounded mighty nice but they wouldn't have been worth a plug nickel if somebody hadn't made 'em stick

Why that gold grabbing dame would double cross her own mother for a handful of chinese yams

Will he stop not unless he's got something to brag about

You stay away from that set now and stay away from those wall plugs don't monkey with electricity unless you know what you're doing

You're a nice guy john I like you you're gentle I always like gentle people me i'm hard hard and tough I got no use for hard people gotta be gentle to suit me like you for instance