Galaxy Quest (1999) Edit

A bunch of chompy crushy things in the middle of a hallway!

A Coca Cola, do you have one of those?

A lathe! Get off the line, Guy!

A little present for you, Commander.

A thousand apologies. We have failed you.

A very clever deception indeed.

Accelerate to mark four.

Activate the Omega 13.

Aft vector guards, 96% damage.

After the fuss you made about getting left behind?

After three days of this, you still require incentive?

Alex, where are you going?

Alexander, get to the barracks,

Alexander, listen to me. It's okay, it's okay.

Alexander, this is the role of a lifetime. You guys want to leave?

Alexander, you're my advisor. Advise me!

All right, all right, listen up. This is what we gotta do.

All right, all right. Listen up. Here's the plan.

All right, Brandon, I see five ducts in this room.

All right, Brandon, I'm here. How do I shut this thing down?

All right, Brandon, we're across. Now what?

All right, did we get the beryllium sphere installed?

All right, dinner's at 7:00.

All right, Gwen, put me back on with him.

All right, Quellek, let's get back to the command deck.

All right, set her up.

All right, Tommy, see if you can't lose them in that minefield.

All right, Tommy, take us into the black hole.

All right, we're at level C, hallway five. Now what?

All right! Yeah, let's hear it for the NSEA Protector.

All systems are working, Commander.

Am I the only one who saw that thing inside out?

Am I too late for Alexander's panic attack?

And a dark period of discontent spread through the land.

And as we continue, the medical quarters are to the left.

And did you check out Nesmith?

And finally, my fellow Questerians,

And his command crew have escaped custody.

And how they fit into my suit.

And I want you guys to go with me, please.

And it exploded.

And it was in this time of dissension that Sarris...

And it's, like, nailed the atmosphere at mark 15,

And Jason Nesmith and his entire crew are no shows here at the big event,

And make sure there's a limo at my house.

And our...

And sent up there in a million pieces?

And something is up there then it kills me.

And the organ fabrication chamber is coming along nicely.

And the Sarris dominion in greater detail.

And this dumb spinning fan that we have in every single...

And unless you took a Learning Annex course I don't know about,

And use Roman candles for visual confirmation.

And we might be able to get there if we reconfigure the solar matrix

And we need your help.

And what you fail to realize is my ship is dragging mines.

And while you're at it, why don't you toss that at them, killer?

Another shipmate! Yes, the more, the merrier!

Any objections?

Anybody else?

Anybody got any change?

Apparently not. You know, you should get that looked at. Yeah.

Are we there yet?

Are you enjoying your Kep mok blood ticks, Dr. Lazarus?

Are you stoned?

Armor almost gone, Jason!

As a matter of fact, I have Gorignak staring me in the face right now.

As long as there is injustice,

As quickly as I'd hoped on our last encounter.

At ease.

At every turn, you demonstrate the necessity for your extermination!

Because I'm gonna die five minutes in.

Because my character isn't important enough for a last name.

Before we travel to the ship, please let me know if you have any requirements.

Begging your pardon, Commander, we come with news. Sarris lives.

Better than my lieutenant.

Boy, I didn't know you could get that loaded.

Brandon, honey, the garbage.

Brandon, I remember you. From the convention, right?

Brandon, it's not working. Brandon!

Brandon, it's not working. Brandon!

Brandon.

Bravo.

Bunch of losers! Begging for autographs at 15 bucks a pop.

But begging your Commander's pardon, sir,

But even though we had never before met,

But frankly, Sarris, sir, we don't know what it is or even where it is.

But I am so very humbled to stand in your presence.

But I don't know how to shut down a neutron reactor,

But if you are saying that any of you

But inside, I see many rooms.

But myself and others are convinced that what it is is a matter rearranger,

But now that Tech Sergeant Chen is here, he can operate it.

But the negotiations, you fired on him.

But we are experiencing a reflective flux field

But we're going to have to go through the black hole, though.

But we've never seen space age values like we've seen here at...

But what they built was extraordinary. It was a huge spaceship.

But why?

But you know what? I think I can take him.

But you live with your mother.

But your presence is requested on the command deck.

But, sir! My men... The core implosion is not reversible.

By Grabthar's hammer,

By Grabthar's hammer,

By Grabthar's hammer, by the sons of Warvan, I shall avenge you!

By Grabthar's hammer, Dr. Lazarus...

By Grabthar's hammer, we live to tell the tale.

By Grabthar's hammer, you shall be avenged!

By Grabthar's...

By the code of the Mak'tar.

By the sons of Warvan,

By the sons of Warvan,

Bye. Be back soon!

Can it be repaired?

Can you form some sort of rudimentary lathe?

Can you get this? Deck B for gamma override.

Captured our females for his own demented purposes...

Certainly, but...

Closer?

Come here.

Come on in.

Come on, Brandon, don't make me ask you again.

Come on, come on, come on.

Come on, come on, come on. If we want to finish this mission,

Come on, come on!

Come on, give it up for the crew, the NSEA Protector!

Come on!

Come on! Without my crew, I'm not a commander, huh?

Come on. Do you guys want to do that? Anybody?

Come on. Gwen, Gwen, Gwen, Gwen. Stop, come here.

Come on. I've forgotten you've got to be the hero, haven't you?

Come on. Oh, boy! Come on.

Come with me. I'll explain on the way.

Commander Peter Quincy Taggart, Jason Nesmith!

Commander Taggart has saved us!

Commander, I must say that standing here in your presence

Commander, I see. Okay.

Commander, some of the crew has requested

Commander, welcome to the Protector Two.

Commander, what I'd give to see what you're seeing.

Commander, where are you going?

Commander! Commander?

Commander. Commander?

Commander. Thank God you're alive.

Computer,

Computer, can it be repaired?

Computer, is there a replacement beryllium sphere on board?

Computer, what about the engines? Why don't we have power?

Continue forward, sir?

Core implosion estimated in 10 seconds.

Core implosion estimated in 20 seconds.

Core implosion estimated in eight minutes.

Core implosion estimated in nine minutes.

Core implosion estimated in seven minutes.

Core implosion estimated in six minutes.

Core overload. Emergency shutdown overridden.

Core overload. Emergency shutdown overridden.

Core overload. Emergency shutdown overridden.

Core overload. Emergency shutdown overridden.

Could have traits in common with Sarris...

Could they be the miners?

Could you possibly try not to hit every single one?

Crew to the secondary deck.

Crewman Madison, the mist of this strange planet

Crewman number... Guy.

Damage to beryllium sphere irreparable.

Damn it, now look at me. Look at me!

Damn you.

Damn you. I won't say that stupid line one more time.

Deck B is independent of the guidance matrix.

Deliver the device to me, or I will destroy your ship!

Did I just hear that that animal turned inside out and then it exploded?

Did it ever occur to you, had you been more supportive

Did you guys ever watch the show?

Did you hear them ragging on him in there?

Did you hear? He booked another appearance without us.

Did you?

Didn't you make any TV shows on your planet? Any theater? Films?

Digitize me, Fred!

Digitize me!

Do you have pages or just want me to wing this?

Do you know what time it is?

Do you think I'm a fool?

Don't even think about it. Let's go. Yes!

Don't forget to buy a Galaxy Quest T shirt on your way out. Thank you.

Don't look back. Do not look back!

Don't panic. I've dealt with this guy before.

Don't speak, Quellek.

Dr. Lazarus, Alexander Dane!

Dr. Lazarus, I hope I am not breaching protocol,

Dr. Lazarus? Here is your surface mapper.

Dr. Lazarus.

Ducts? Why is it always ducts?

Dude, he has no idea he's a laughingstock,

Effecting a 13 second time jump to the past.

Enter the passage second to your left, and just continue straight for 50 meters.

Even to his buddies.

Everybody all right? Where's Tommy?

Excuse me for a minute, fellas.

Excuse me, Commander. Hey!

Excuse me, pardon me, crew member coming through.

Excuse me?

Explain as you would a child.

Fall asleep in front of the TV and miss out on all this.

Fighting among Treeb sects and Largoths. The foolishness!

Find them!

Find them!

Fire at will.

Fire at will.

Five minutes after we land on the planet!

Five pods for immediate departure.

Fleeg, we gotta turn off that valve. Their oxygen's almost gone.

For all you know, I'm just crewman number six.

For the female.

Former commander?

Fred, can you hear me?

Fred, get up to command deck. We're separating.

Fred, he was drunk. Do you really think he was talking about a job?

Fred, take Guy and Laliari. You find that valve, shut it off,

Fred, what are you doing up here? Shouldn't you be downstairs until we...

Fred, you never forgot a line! You never missed a mark!

Fred!

Fred! Fred, can you hear me? Fred, are you there?

Fred? I don't want to die down here.

Fred's no good, Jason. You're just gonna have to kill it.

From the lessons garnered from the historical documents.

Gannet magnets, fire them left and right and let them run all chutes.

General, I have just received word

General, your transport is ready for departure.

Get his gun! Get the gun!

Give him a big hand. He's British! Yes, sir!

Go for the eyes, like in episode 22!

Go for the mouth or the throat, its vulnerable spots!

Go on. You know? I'm listening to everything you say, okay?

Go!

Go!

Go!

Go! Go!

Good going, Tommy. Great going.

Good luck on your mission, sir.

Good, that's very nice.

Goodbye, my friends.

Got him. Listen to me. This is Jason Nesmith.

Got killed by a lava monster before the first commercial.

Gotta get it open, give them some time.

Great driving, Tommy.

Great, we'll get everybody online.

Guy, Guy, maybe you're the plucky comic relief.

Guy, you have a last name.

Guy. Probably don't remember me, do you? It's the sunglasses, right?

Guys.

Guys. Guys?

Gwen, come on, think about it. Look at where we are. We're in space.

Gwen, Fred, Alex and I will go down and get a sphere.

Gwen, I have said it for years.

Gwen, show him the historical documents.

Gwen, you and I, we're gonna get to the core and shut it down manually.

Gwen!

Gwen.

Gwen.

Had I moved an inch to the left, the beast would have killed me.

Hadn't even gotten to the relevant conundrum.

Has Sarris ever seen any of the historical records?

He doesn't understand.

He has saved us.

He has tortured our scientists,

He heard about the device, the Omega 13.

He knows the utility tunnel system better than anybody alive.

He wants an answer to his proposal. I understand...

He's finished, he's finished.

He's gonna try to kill all of us!

He's mentally unstable.

He's no more equipped to lead us than this fellow. No offense.

Heaven forbid anybody else gets the spotlight! Oh, no! Jason Nesmith...

Hello, Sarris. How you doing?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello? Anybody there?

Here we go.

Here, and beautiful!

Hey, Commander,

Hey, Fred.

Hey, guys.

Hey, I'm doing all right with the pig lizard.

Hey, wait a minute, guys, guys.

Hey, you know, you could put an eye out with that thing.

Hey!

Hey! Don't open that! It's an alien planet!

Hey! Where's my limo?

Hi, Brandon.

Hi, guys. Listen,

Hi. Hi there.

Historical documents from out here?

Hold, please.

Hollister, do you have the sequence yet?

How adorable!

How are you enjoying your steak, Commander?

How can we thank you, Commander?

How did you know what to do?

How have you failed us?

However, our efforts in this regard have been disastrous.

Hundreds to die,

I actually thought you were smart for a second.

I always considered you as a father to me.

I am a general.

I am Mathesar. On behalf of all my people I wish to thank you

I am not sure I understand you.

I am sorry. You deserve to be shown.

I avoided capture by using your Mak'tar stealth haze.

I can't go out there, and I won't say that stupid line one more time!

I can't really remember 'cause I was kind of hung over.

I changed my mind. I want to go back.

I could try.

I don't believe there is a man, woman or child on my planet who does not.

I don't care where you did it, it tastes great.

I don't know what it does.

I don't like it. It was too easy.

I don't understand.

I don't... Ten seconds? I don't... There...

I gave you the "kill" gesture.

I got it but it's gonna take a few seconds.

I got it, I got it!

I got most of it in the car. Sarris is the bad guy, right?

I got the feeling that you and the Commander kind of had a thing.

I got this gig in Van Nuys in about a quarter of an hour. Is that all right?

I got to fight this guy named Sarris and I kicked his ass!

I got to get out of here.

I have been blessed, sir. I...

I have programmed it to the coordinates of a beryllium sphere

I have raised Sarris on Zeta frequency.

I have studied your missions extensively.

I have told you all I know.

I heard that. It turned inside out?

I just wanted to tell you that I thought a lot about what you said...

I knew it, I knew it! I knew this was gonna kill me!

I know what you're thinking. But I can prove it. They gave me this.

I look forward to meeting you all in person when you arrive at the ship.

I mean it. I mean it, Alex.

I mean, I can't. I can supervise...

I mean, it was just weird.

I mean, surely you don't think that Gilligan's Island is a...

I mean, these weren't just adventurers exploring space. These were friends.

I mean, who knows the next time he'll ask us.

I might be able to hold them back long enough for the aliens to escape.

I must speak to you. It is a matter of supreme importance.

I play Commander Peter Quincy Taggart, NSEA Protector.

I remember I had it all worked out.

I remember that sound. That's a bad sound.

I repeated the computer, Fred.

I said I don't know!

I said, "I'm not the Commander."

I see fear. That is expected.

I see you managed to get your shirt off.

I think I'll take my chance with Gorignak.

I think we all remember what happened to that beast on Enok Vll, right?

I think we should've just taken the gig.

I think we're the green thingy.

I think we're the green thingy.

I understand completely that it's just a TV show.

I want to thank you for that nice intro you gave us today.

I want you to jump, Commander, jump!

I was on the show in '82, episode 81.

I was up there.

I was wondering if you could help settle the dispute

I would like to blow this troublesome vehicle to dust.

I would like to explain the history between our people

I... I'm worried. It just was not like him.

I'll get one of my boys up here with a can of WD 40.

I'm just a glorified extra, Fred. I'm a dead man anyway.

I'm just crewman number six. I'm expendable.

I'm just jazzed about being on the show, man.

I'm not even... Kwan's not even my real name.

I'm not Tech Sergeant Chen, I'm Fred Kwan.

I'm not the Commander.

I'm not? Then what's my last name?

I'm real sorry about what happened before.

I'm really enjoying it. This is like corn fed lowa beef.

I'm sorry to break up the mood here.

I'm sorry to wake you, sir,

I'm sorry. It's very exciting to watch the master at the controls.

I'm telling you, it's not Fred, that's Sarris!

I'm there about an hour.

I'm... I'm shot.

I've never seen him lose it like that. Not to a fan.

If the pig lizard is gone, why are they still yelling "Gorignak"?

If we were mistaken in our construction,

If you are counting on me to blink, then you are making a deadly mistake.

If you got any more problems with the guy,

If you have any mercy within you, please, let me die.

If you remember, in "Quasar Dilemma"...

If you would all take your positions.

Impossible! Lmpossible!

In case you changed your mind.

In episode 15, "Mist of Delos V,"

In fact, all you see around you has been taken

In our dealings with Sarris.

In parallel for endothermic propulsion.

In the five million years following the Great Nebula Burst,

In the five million years following the Great Nebula Burst,

Into space.

Is that all?

Is the greatest honor we could ever have hoped to achieve in our lifetime.

Is there air? You don't know!

Is there no one on your planet who behaves in a way

Is this a spaceship?

Is this about that gig tomorrow?

Is this amazing? They want me back,

It always stops at one on the show.

It always stops at one on the show.

It doesn't have any eyes, Tommy.

It has at its heart a reactor capable of unthinkable energy.

It has been my greatest honor to serve with you.

It has never been successfully tested.

It is a concept we are beginning to learn at some great cost.

It is you, Fred. You just stopped trying.

It must be spectacular.

It was cute when I didn't know you.

It was designed watching his motions from the historical documents.

It's a core meltdown, sir. It can't be stopped.

It's a decoration. It's all fake.

It's a rock monster. It doesn't have motivation.

It's a rock. It doesn't have any vulnerable spots!

It's all real.

It's another thing to do it to your fans.

It's difficult to explain.

It's fractured.

It's getting hotter, Commander.

It's just a television show. That's all, okay?

It's just not fair.

It's like throwing gasoline on a flame.

It's my fault. We screwed...

It's no big deal.

It's not a big deal. These guys put a little set in their basement.

It's not too bad.

It's nothing, Gwen. They wanted the Commander.

It's real.

It's stupid, but I'm gonna do it, okay?

It's the simple things in life you treasure.

It's the thing for the thing that's...

It's... I don't know.

Jason Nesmith!

Jason, before the black hole,

Jason, I don't think the pig lizard was Gorignak.

Jason, we're gonna use the digital conveyor to get you out of there.

Jason, what are you doing? What are you doing?

Jason! Jason! I can't slow it down!

Jason! They're coming! There's thousands of them, Jason!

Just 10 more minutes, okay, Ma? I promise.

Just because you want to play at being commander, you raving lunatic.

Just don't.

Just hammer out the details with my agent,

Just like me.

Just like Mother used to make.

Just, you know, give me a call.

Kill it? Well, I'm open to any suggestions.

Laredo, take us out.

Last time I did one of these gigs, they shoved me in the back of a Toyota.

Lathe, open an oxygen seal on level C.

Leave him alone.

Leave them alone. There's no reason to hurt them.

Let go of me. Let... It's not Fred!

Let the air in a bit for our friends.

Let's get out of here before one of those things kills Guy.

Let's go.

Let's hear a warm welcome for crack gunner Laredo, Tommy Webber!

Let's not worry about that right now, Alexander.

Let's take a look at a few more clips.

Lieutenant Laredo, Tommy Webber!

Lieutenant Lathe, hardwire the reactor core to overload.

Lieutenant Madison.

Lieutenant, historical documents.

Listen, I'll go in. I'll create a distraction. I got this. I'm okay,

Listen, maybe I could sit in and sign a couple of autographs?

Lock a complement of implosion missiles onto the Protector.

Look at that. Would you look at that?

Look out, Jason!

Look, I have one job on this lousy ship.

Look, they're gone.

Look.

Look. There's a little hurt one.

Man, where the hell is he? An hour and a half late?

Many have believed that it is a matter collapser.

Mathesar, I am so sorry. God, I am so sorry.

Mathesar, I think your people have a great commander,

Mathesar, I'm not a commander. I...

Mathesar, meet us up at the command deck.

Mathesar!

Mathesar!

Mathesar!

Mathesar! Quellek!

Mathesar.

May I remind you he's wearing a costume, not a uniform.

Maybe I should get some pants on.

Maybe it's about time you just backed off,

Miners, not minors!

Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!

Mother, I cannot stress enough the severity

Mother, I'm quite busy.

Mr. Jason Nesmith!

Much to the disappointment of all these fans.

My name is Jason Nesmith. I am an actor.

Negative. No reserve beryllium sphere exists on board.

Never give up. Never surrender.

Never give up. Never surrender.

Never give up. Never surrender.

New source of beryllium must be secured.

Next.

No big deal? Are you crazy? We have to get out of here.

No one even bothered to ask me what I do on the show.

No pressure, huh? I'm glad I ain't the Commander.

No time for pleasantries, Kyle. We have a level 5 emergency.

No, I don't, but I know someone who does.

No, Jason. That's a wrap. There's nothing to think about!

No, Mathesar, it is not your fault, and it's not the ship's fault.

No, my arm is broke. Don't touch it! Don't touch it!

No, no, no, no, no. But can you talk to people in space on those?

No, no, no, no. Guys, I was there.

No, no, no! Jason, please!

No, not historical documents. They're not all historical documents.

No, thank God, he has not.

No, this is a star port for the ship.

No, we have no extra beryllium sphere on board.

No, you know what? I'd like to skip that.

No!

No! Never give up! Never surrender!

No. The Commander and I never had a thing.

Nobody was watching?

Not now, Gwen.

Nothing, I just thought it'd be more complicated than that.

Now you will face justice, Sarris.

Now, that leads to a system of utility corridors

Now, the moment you've all been waiting for.

Now, we better get...

Of sufficient density.

Of your historical documents,

Often, Sarris will say one thing and do another.

Oh, brother.

Oh, darn.

Oh, my God, I knew it. I knew it! I knew it!

Oh, my God, you're alive.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my!

Oh, no, no, no. Jason, I'll just... I'll just mess it up.

Oh, no, sir, we have no reason to go back.

Oh, no!

Oh, no! Turn, turn!

Oh, right!

Oh, right!

Oh, yes, sir. He's a very bad man indeed.

Okay, Commander, now, as soon as the first crusher hits you...

Okay, just push the blue button.

Okay, the sequence is 2242...

Okay. Right.

Okay. What did I do?

Okey dokey.

On imperial decks C and B near the Coke machines.

On, Teb, on!

Once again, Commander Peter Quincy Taggart,

Originally, one of our own tried to lead.

Our attempt to operate our own technologies

Our beryllium sphere is wire with plaster around it.

Our digital conveyor is...

Our former commander was not strong.

Our goals, our values had become scattered, but since the transmission,

Our most sincere apologies.

Our people are being systematically hunted and slaughtered

Our people were one people.

Our people were one...

Our ship is too big to enter the atmosphere.

Patience, Lieutenant.

Patience.

Pay our bills, feed our fish,

Perhaps I'm not as stupid as I am ugly, Commander!

Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter...

Please, Commander. You are our last hope.

Please, Fred? And hurry.

Practice driving.

Prepare a tear harness

Promise us mercy, but deliver destruction.

Protector, this is the Commander. Over.

Push these red buttons and send everything we have towards him.

Put us to work in the gallium arsenide mines,

Quellek,

Quellek? Quellek?

Quellek? What are you doing up there?

Quest forever, man!

Quincy, Quincy, Quincy, Quincy...

Red particle cannons full,

Red scarf, black shoes. Wait.

Red thingy moving toward the green thingy.

Red thingy moving toward the green thingy.

Regarding the voyage. You didn't show up.

Release them

Remember yesterday at the convention, those people dressed like aliens?

Remember, mum's the word.

Remember, you used the auxiliary deck B for...

Right, but... 'Cause we were wondering if the quantum flux, nowjust listen...

Right. Take her out.

Run, Jason! Run! They're coming! They're everywhere!

Sarris will surely detonate any objects leaving the ship.

Sarris, what about my people?

Sarris' ship accelerating toward us at mark two.

See, that's your problem, Jason. You were never serious about the craft.

See? They're gonna help the little hurt one.

Seems okay.

Self control? That's funny coming from a guy

Set it on screensaver two.

She's not a fan! This is a Termite!

She's still behind us!

Show the historical documents of the Galaxy Quest missions.

Since it was originally aired in 1982!

Sir, I am Lahnk, senior requisition officer.

Sir, I am Teb.

Sir, I understand this is a terrible breach in protocol...

Sir, perhaps together,

Sir, Sarris has moved the deadline.

Sir, the pressure, it's normalizing.

Sir, we apologize for operating in low power mode,

Sir? Your orders?

Sir.

Slow it down to mark two, Lieutenant.

So as I was saying in "The Quasar Dilemma,"

So how does he know about the Omega 13 device?

So I'm gonna just shut my eyes for a bit.

So now you know.

So we get to shut down a neutron reactor?

So we were wondering, just where the error lies in that?

So we're gonna help Laredo guide it on the vox ultra frequency carrier

So, tell me, Mathesar,

Son of a...

Sorry, man, they're drifting towards us. I think they're magnetic!

Sorry... The door's a little sticky. Did you see that?

Stand back, Jason.

Stop!

Stop! Wait a minute! No!

Structural breaches in quadrants 32, 34, 40...

Sure you do. Family, friends. Come on!

Sure, no problem.

Sure, they're cute now, but in a second, they're gonna get mean.

Sure, they're like, three years old.

Sure. Bring them in.

Surrender may be our only option.

Systems register functional.

Systems register functional.

Systems register functional.

Taggart, Taggart, Taggart, Taggart...

Take it from us, we've been all over the universe.

Tawny Madison, my personal favorite, Gwen DeMarco!

Tear her apart!

Tech Sergeant Chen.

Tech Value Electronics Superstore!

Tev'Meck, Alexander Dane!

Thanks for the heads up, Brandon! You okay?

Thanks.

That guy can act.

That I'm not a complete brain case, okay?

That kid. Where's that kid?

That my crew and I seem to be having.

That should take care of old lobster head, shouldn't it?

That the Commander does not know every bolt, every weld in his ship?

That was a hell of a thing.

That was the show. I'm not that guy!

That way.

That would obliterate all matter in the universe.

That's contrary to reality?

That's great.

That's not right.

That's really not enough time to do anything of any importance.

That's right again. That's... Come on, group hug. Come on.

That's right, guys, just keep shaking it off, it gets better.

That's Sarris. Listen to me!

That's... I really appreciate that.

The 23rd quadrant of the Gamma sector.

The actors are going to play war with me.

The beautiful Tawny Madison, Gwen DeMarco!

The beryllium sphere has fractured under stress.

The beryllium sphere, of course.

The brave commander of the NSEA Protector,

The Commander and his crew will be signing autographs

The core detonation sequence on the Protector has been aborted.

The crew and I are in a lot of trouble and we need your help.

The Galaxy Quest dancers are almost on.

The generator room.

The historical documents of your culture. Yes, in fact,

The intrepid crew of the NSEA Protector! Yeah!

The lost Galaxy Quest episode 92 two parter

The magnetism of the minefield is disrupting our instruments.

The main barracks.

The Mak'tar chant of strength, "Larak tarath."

The Omega 13 device.

The operation of the conveyor is much more art than science.

The Protectorgot super accelerated coming out of the black hole

The ship is breaking apart and all that. Just FYI.

The ship's Tech Sergeant Chen, Fred Kwan, and a friend.

The tape was smuggled off of Sarris' ship.

The Thermians can handle it from here. We gotta go. Come on.

The Thermians have appointed a new commander

The thing is that online blueprints clearly indicate that

The whole thing was just a misunderstanding.

Then I'll see you in hell, won't I?

Then there will be blood and pain as you cannot imagine!

Then there's gonna be a million more of them.

Then, Alex and Gwen and I will go get a sphere.

Theoretically the mechanism is fully operational.

There are time knots opening everywhere!

There is no quantum flux. There's no auxiliary.

There were five curtain calls. I was an actor once,

There will be a slight drop.

There's a map in the core room. I'll show you, come on.

There's a red thingy

There's no goddamn ship!

There's no National Space Exploration Administration.

There's no time. Get in! Get in!

There's nobody here.

These guys haven't had a real acting job for 20 years. This is all they've got.

They designed those controls after watching you.

They look like little children.

They want me back? You want me back?

They were aliens. They were Termites or Dalmatians.

They're gonna get ugly somehow,

They're telling me the generators won't take it.

They're turning. They're coming!

This close to the galactic axis.

This is a moment I will treasure.

This is fantastic!

This is forward. This is back.

This is great. You know, usually it's just cardboard walls in a garage.

This is ludicrous. Why are you listening to this fellow?

This is the third day of the Galaxy Con,

This is the Tothian minefield left standing from the great war of 12185.

This isn't mine.

This isn't some kind of prank! I'm not kidding. Guys, guys, listen.

This Sarris person that we're flying to meet,

This should be interesting.

This thing is real looking.

This way!

Those poor people.

Though I am Thermian, I have lived my life by your philosophy,

Through the bowels of the ship.

Thrust ahead, full!

To be present at this historic event.

To clear the compound of those things.

To handle the negotiations.

To handle the negotiations.

To see if there's a pub!

Tommy, get up on that ridge.

Tommy, Tommy, let's go!

True love! Yes!

Under tactical simulation have been disastrous.

Wait a minute! We're not going anywhere without a beryllium sphere.

Wait a minute. We gotta go across this thing?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! We might be able to lose them in this cloud here.

Wait! I see something.

Wait. No.

We accidentally traded voxes the other day when we bumped into each other.

We are all that is left.

We are approaching his ship at the Ni Delta now.

We are coming, too.

We are not the people you think we are.

We are Thermians from the Klatu Nebula.

We are to meet in negotiation.

We can't launch pods at the moment.

We developed the same affection for the crew

We don't have a ship.

We don't know.

We forgot about our appearance generators.

We found that on an alien planet. We don't know what it does either.

We got to prepare the pods for my crew's departure.

We gotta do it. It's our only hope, Mathesar. Thank you.

We have begun to document our history from your example.

We have enjoyed preparing many of your esoteric dishes.

We have modeled every aspect of our society from your example,

We have only recently become aware of this concept

We have seen you victorious in much more desperate situations.

We have studied every facet of your missions and strategies.

We have to use some self control.

We humbly implore you to come and negotiate the terms.

We love you, Commander!

We made it, Commander. We made it.

We might have been able...

We need a plan. Fred, I need a diversion

We need another one.

We need that armor back up!

We pretend to entertain and...

We pretended.

We went to some trouble duplicating your cellular regeneration system...

We were hoping you could come with us.

We were hoping you could enlighten us.

We'll get you to the medical quarters and you'll be fine.

We'll get you to the medical quarters and you'll be fine.

We're all actors.

We're approaching in five ticks, sir. Command to slow?

We're getting hammered, Jason! Return fire?

We're getting you out right now. It's perfectly safe, isn't it, Teb?

We're gonna send everything we can at him, all right?

We're screwed.

Weapons, documents, personnel.

Well, crank this sucker up, you could drop us off

Well, he's outside.

Well, how does it feel, Jason? Was it worth it? You've murdered us all!

Well, I'm trying to tell you, you are back on.

Well, it doesn't look like much to me. Just these few walls

Well, let me tell you something, Sarris.

Well, screw that.

Well, that's her story.

Well, there you are. Yeah!

Well, you're just gonna have to figure out what it wants.

Well?

Well... Wait. Brandon, where are you going with all those fireworks?

What a freak show, man. This is hilarious.

What a savings.

What a show!

What a show! Yes!

What are you, an infant? Look, we have these.

What did you say?

What difference does it make if it's episode 81 or not?

What do I do?

What does he want?

What if Sarris survives?

What is it? What does it do?

What is its motivation?

What kind of a signal?

What the hell you talking about?

What were you saying?

What, no, no, no, no. You've got it all wrong.

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? What was that?

What's your name, son?

What's your name?

When I grow weary of the noises you make, you shall die.

Whenever a Targathian baby cries out,

Where are the miners?

Where's the happy ending, Jason?

Wherever a distress signal sounds,

Which way do we go?

Which way, Alexander?

Which, you guys know, is pretty unstable, obviously,

While my people are talented scientists,

White scarf, black buttons, white shoes...

Who slept with every Terrakian slave girl and moon princess on the show.

Why 13 seconds?

Why can't we reach them?

Why don't you just turn it on and see what it does?

Wonderful.

Wonderful. The Commander had me continue transmission

Would you guys look for another shoe that looks like this, please?

Would you sit your ass down? Sit! Move! You want to drive this thing?

Wow, that smog is thick today, huh?

Wow, what effects!

Yeah, almost as much as he loves himself.

Yeah, but that's when I thought I was the crewman that stays on the ship

Yeah, Earth. I need to get back to Earth, kids.

Yeah, Gwen, you got me.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got the picture.

Yeah!

Yeah! All right!

Yeah! All right!

Yeah! All right!

Yeah! All right.

Yeah! Yeah, that's what I'm talking about!

Yeah.

Yeah. No, you gave me the "we're dead" signal. I was agreeing with you.

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. Long live... What was your planet called?

Yeah. Yes.

Yes, far too simple a death for them, isn't it?

Yes, if he's down in the Omega 13...

Yes, sir.

Yes, we programmed the food synthesizer for each of you

Yes, yes, I know, Commander, and I actually wanna...

Yes!

Yes! Give it up! Wow!

Yes! Yes!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes. The past 100 years, our society had fallen into disarray.

You are speaking of...

You are the first people to see

You asked all those little technical questions about the ship,

You broke the ship. You broke the bloody ship!

You brute! Let go of me!

You can do this, Fred! I know in my heart you're gonna save my life.

You did it for four years on the show! Do it now!

You got it?

You guys came! Who wants the grand tour?

You guys want to go home? You say the word, we'll go home.

You had the... Wait. Wait, I'll think of it.

You have 10 seconds!

You have all done far greater damage than I ever could have.

You have saved our people.

You have to give me a minute to put it in a box for you, okay?

You know me. I'm a lot of things, but am I crazy?

You know us?

You know, evidently we had a little miscommunication

You know, guys, I had a late night with a Kreemorian fangor beast,

You know, it's one thing to treat us this way.

You know, okay. Gosh darn it, I give up. It's yours. You can have it.

You know, that is really getting annoying!

You know, we'd like to do that,

You know, with all that makeup and stuff,

You scene stealing hack.

You see anything at all, you give us a signal, all right?

You see, we work together, or not at all.

You shall be avenged.

You stole all my best lines, you cut me out of episode two entirely!

You think you could do better, Laredo?

You want to take a left and then just straight on through the chompers.

You'll forgive my impertinence, sir,

You're deep in the underbelly of the Omega 13!

You're doing good, Tommy.

You're going? Alexander, this is not... I'm not kidding here!

You're kidding!

You're not gonna die on the planet, Guy.

You're sweating!

You've been watching the show?

You've got to admit, they really do love him.

You've seen plywood sets that look like the inside.

You've seen plywood sets that look like the inside.

You've still got the utility systems walk through, right?

Young Laredo, how you've grown.

Your courage and teamwork and friendship through adversity.

Your orders, sir?

Your presence is required on the command deck.

'Cause it's on the television show! Well, forget it!

9,8... Gwen, I...

A booby trap? I don't know!

A trap! We're surrounded, Commander.

All of you wish to go to the ship? Yes, we wish to go to the ship.

All right with that Laredo stuff. We're screwed. We're so screwed.

among the stars... Among the stars...

An interstellar vox. A what? Hey.

And his friends... I know, they can't stand him!

And if I do not hear what I like, ...real.

And nothing you say will make me. The show must go on.

Any kind of signal. Okay, I'll do my hands like this.

Are we doing episode 81? It's just a rough plan, Guy.

As you wish. Sir, it's Sarris. He's here.

Brandon, are you okay? Commander! My apologies.

Can you do that? Yeah, it's just point and click.

Come on, Fred. Come on, guys. Digitize me!

Come on, guys. Jason, we're actors, not astronauts.

Come on, old friend, old friend. Friend?

Damn the resonance cannons, Damn the resonance cannons,

Deception, lies. Deception, lies.

Did Jason come through here? Yeah, he's in there. Hey, guys.

Do I? Do I? Yes!

Does the rolling help actually? It helps.

Doesn't she talk? Her translator is broken.

Dr. Lazarus. Dr. Lazarus.

Episode 51, right? 51. 51.

Exiting time knot now, sir. We're alive.

First... Backwash.

from the deepest place in our hearts. Mathesar, this is my crew.

full speed ahead! Full speed ahead!

Fully operational. Perfect!

Get back on their tail. I can't, sir.

Get me a forward view right now! Plasma armor engaged.

Get us out of here! Jason, what do I do?

Go faster, Tommy! I'm going as fast as I can, Jason!

Good to see you. Would you like to don your uniform?

Gorignak! Gorignak! Gorignak! Gorignak!

Guy. Guy.

He actually gets off on those retards... Oh, yeah.

He was able upon your departure... Listen.

He... He did it again.

He's pathetic! Come on, come on.

Here are my demands. Scary. I mean, you know, it looks...

Hey, try some gum. It helps. Where are we?

Hold... Wait a minute... I know there's no beryllium sphere...

Home. You mean Earth?

How did I come to this? Not again.

However, he has contacted us... Sarris.

I can't, I won't. Well, Alex, at least you had a part.

I didn't know that. Sir, I have raised the command deck.

I doubt it. We gave him both barrels. He has a very powerful ship.

I played Richard the Third. Five curtain calls.

I told you to shut up! Both of you, get in there.

I'll take him to medical quarters. Thanks, Mathesar.

Is it a bomb? I don't know.

It's for quick boosts! Like you know!

It's okay. Now, listen. But I want you to know

Jason, what have you got us into? What the hell is going on?

Jason. Not now, Gwen!

Larak tarath, larak tarath, larak tarath! Larak tarath, larak tarath, larak tarath!

Larak tarath, larak tarath. Larak tarath.

Lieutenant Madison. Lieutenant Madison.

Like I know where the hold button is. Hey, you guys.

Look out! Oh, no! Pull out!

Mathesar... We meet again, Commander.

Minefield? Pedal to the metal, right now!

moving toward the green thingy. What?

Mum. Mum.

Never give up. Never give up.

Never give up. Never give up.

Never surrender! Never surrender!

Never surrender. Never surrender.

No, no, no. I'm not the guy.

Nothing. I hear some squealing or something.

of the Commander's predicament. Don't forget the recyclables!

Oh, for God's sake. That's it. It's time to go!

Oh, God. We're not gonna make it!

Oh, no, not me. Come on, they...

Oh, shut up. Oh, shut up.

Oh, yeah! Go ahead.

Okay, go now. Go!

Okay? Okay.

Okay. Wait, Jason. What about me?

On what? How about that pig lizard?

Open. You know what? I'm gonna get Kyle.

Pedal to the metal, Commander. Pedal to the metal, Commander.

Pedal to the metal! All right, let's go!

Plucky? Well, besides,

Protector, requesting four interstellar... Me, too.

Raving egomaniac? Wonder where I got that from?

Right. Well, you know what?

Rock, rock, rock, rock! Rock, rock, rock, rock!

Sarris? Yes, sir. He's here now.

Shut up. Hundreds to die just because of you!

Sir! What?

Something bad happened here. Will you relax?

Stop. Stop for a second. Stop. Wait. ...no digital conveyor, no ship.

Take her out. Right, right.

Tech Sergeant Chen. Tech Sergeant Chen.

Tech Sergeant Chen. Yeah!

Tell me! I don't know!

Thank God. Are you okay? Yeah.

That's right. Well, I hate to break it to you, Jason,

The blue button? Is that it? Yeah, why, what's wrong?

The wall of fire. Well, how the hell is Fred

There he goes. Alexander, wait! Grab him! Grab him!

Thermia. Long live Thermia. This way?

They bring a new commander. It's good.

They don't know anything. Explain.

They're coming! Hurry!

They're everywhere! Come on, let's go!

They're everywhere! Jason, they're everywhere!

Think. He wants to think.

This fine ship and this fine crew. This fine ship and this fine crew.

Tommy, stop the pod! He's not in! But I can't stop it, it's on autopilot!

Tommy! You all right? Oh, man!

Unbelievable. You are so full of it, man!

We have secured our limousine. What?

We want the crew! We want the crew!

We'll do that! All right!

We're doing episode 81? Whatever. The one with the hologram.

We're out! We're going home!

We've got to stop! We stop and we die.

Welcome, my friends! This is Mathesar, he's their leader.

What about the engines? Forward thruster shaft, 87% damage.

What are we doing here? Wow, the floors are so clean.

What did he say? Hold, please.

What is this thing? ...2242...

What's wrong with them? I don't know. Come on.

Where'd they go? Back inside? I don't know.

Yes, we are back to full power. Great! Engines and pods?

You lost me. I don't like this.

You okay? You all right? Yeah.

You shouldn't come to my house, man. Please, I beg you to hear our plea.

You used to pull your punches. Scene stealing hack? Thank you.

You were holding it upside down. Shut up.

Young Laredo. Young Laredo.

...3,2,1.

...5,4... Jason, Jason.

...7,6... I've always...

...and wishes to negotiate a surrender.

...I require the Omega 13.

...thinking he's a space commander!

...to make an escape. Tell them.

...we'll be there.

'Cause I died in episode 81.

"Assault on Voltareck III," episode 81.

"Never give up. Never surrender."

"The ship was a model as big as this."