Danny Collins (2015) Edit

A blog.

A blog. It's a...

A couple years ago I got backstage passes for one of your shows.

A fuckin' court jester with a microphone.

A gig, yeah. A gig?

A gig. A gig is where I sing in front of people.

A great reaction. I'm sorry.

A little ahead when we sell properties. But only a little.

A little, yeah. I'm very excited.

A whole room full of snoring old ladies.

A, B minor, C sharp.

After all this time?

Ah, awesome. Beauty...

Ah.

Ah. Long line of drunks in my family.

All right, boys, let's move that puppy!

All right, enough of this crap.

All right. All right.

All those properties, the housing market has collapsed.

All with the usual bullshit excuses.

ALL: Aw.

ALL: Surprise!

Almost killed myself and others.

Always one or the other.

Always with the same note.

Am I happy?

And age appropriate.

And an amazing little girl.

And despite your celebrity, and despite what I want for my own family,

And don't look down

And everything's going to be okay, all right?

And fix my little girl,

And got drunk backstage after one of your concerts.

And he finished it with, Well, what do you think of that?

And he's going to call you Tom.

And her friend, Busywork.

And honorable,

And I do these exercises with her, every night really.

And I don't know anyone else in New Jersey. So tough shit.

And I found it. (DRAWER CLOSING)

And I love everything in it!

And I saved a spot for Mary. She's with them.

And I thought... I said I thought it would.

And I used your credit card for the flight.

And I want you to hear me sing.

And I will still go to hell because, you know, you can't buy redemption.

And I, uh, get in touch with this one guy. He's a collector.

And I'm not very sweet.

And I'm thinking, I have to be back at work in 20 minutes.

And if it doesn't, then it happens quick.

And in it, I was asked by the fellow who was interviewing me

And it would help if I had these cheeks there.

And let it out in one big...

And let them know that there might be

And Mommy said, Tom... And Daddy said, N O.

And Mommy said... Easy“.

And Mommy turned it off really fast.

And my balls are in her purse. In case you want to meet them later.

And now, whenever I see a noodle,

And one of them screwed up the computer system

And piano's not my first language.

And see if it's okay.

And she couldn't hold a fucking candle to you.

And she was Miss Nevada before she got famous

And so young. Why are you all so young?

And sometimes musicians travel door to door

And sometimes you don't want Girl Scout cookies,

And that will get worse.

And that'll dictate what our next steps should be.

And the bonus is that, uh,

And the itsy bitsy spider

And then go tell

And then he told me, quite emphatically,

And then maybe I could have avoided living such a bullshit life

And then once a week for 37 years,

And then we'd place her in one of our accredited...

And then, we'll tour.

And then, what, you and me hold hands and cry

And then, you know, I'm gone, forever.

And this is because of Sophie?

And this last tour was my retirement plan for you.

And we can give him the honeymoon suite.

And we hope that you will make Hilton a home

And what college do you go to, young lady?

And what I see in Hope's records,

And when he does, I feel pretty confident

And when I check it,

And when I found out,

And when you're done,

And you have an interview in two hours.

And you know, what we were talking about before,

And you put on a shirt with some fucking buttons.

And you still go to heaven because you're so damn tolerant.

And you?

And you're not exactly where you think you are.

And you're the manager of that hotel,

And, Busywork?

And, oh, yeah, I got this rare form of leukemia

And, you know, Princeton wasn't exactly in the cards.

Another Danny Collins? I think it's called the Danny Collins.

Another life, huh?

Any room will suit me fine.

Anyway, John, for some reason,

Anyway, we were on tour in the Bay Area.

Apparently not.

Are we done here?

Are we going to get Mommy and Daddy to say, Yes, it's okay?

Are you a good singer?

Are you fucking kidding me?

Are you happy?

Are you married, Mary?

Are you on something? (STAMMERING) What are you taking?

Are you ready? Yup.

As I am walking by

As I'm walking by, I collect them all.

As the music swells, is that it?

AUDIENCE: Danny, Danny, Danny, Danny, Danny.

Awesome.

Babe?

Babe? Do you hear this? It's been going on...

Baby steps.

Back at ya.

Band's out there, ready.

Bay Breeze?

Be where?

Because actually,

Because I am rapidly falling in love with this here Hilton.

Because I don't need a half hour of chit chat

Because I really haven't know you very long.

Because I'm a singer.

Because I'm here to fucking stay.

Because if this is just a lame attempt to get me to your room then...

Because it does.

Because it's a big thing for me. (CLAPS)

Because when you were on the TV,

Before she asks me what the hell we're talking about.

Being rich and famous doesn't change the way you think.

Best friend I ever had, your father.

Big day. Big day for me. I'm meeting someone for the first time.

BOTH: Who is Jackie Joyner Kersee?

Break a leg, Danny.

Break a leg, kid.

Bring your friends, you have friends?

BUSYWORK: Yeah. SOPHIE: Uh huh.

Busywork.

But for now, let's just hope for the best. Stay positive, all right?

But he's not the point, the point is

But I am very proud of you, Danny.

But I don't want to say anything nice.

But I have the most amazing wife in the history of wives,

But I hope that's not a deal breaker

But I thought you were great. Really.

But I'm going away.

But I'm nervous now. (CHUCKLING)

But I'm not going to lie to you, Mr. Donnelly.

But it's still cool, and I can't even stop talking!

But not too late. TOM: I don't know.

But other than that, it's beautiful.

But remarkably dim twenty somethings

But she's got trouble with focus.

But that doesn't matter, the point is

But the autumn leaves

But the autumn leaves they fall

But this one seems like the real deal.

But we actually did the opposite.

But we have good patter. (MARY CHUCKLING)

But we have to check it out with Mom and Pop

But when he calls you Tom, it's always good news.

But why the fuck New Jersey?

But you know what it's like when I'm workin'.

But you know what, if it makes you sleep better at night,

But, uh, you're not bankrupt or anything.

But, wow, all she does is talk about you.

But, you know, my life was so extreme.

Bye, honey. Slowly makes it more...

Bye, Hope.

Bye.

Call me, we can discuss this.

Can I ask you a question?

Can I buy you a drink?

Can I have a bagel, Mom?

Can you just...

Can't choose your fans, Danny.

Careful, gentlemen!

Christ, what, did he send you out here to check up on me?

Climbed up the spout again

Come here.

Come here. Come on.

Come in! It's unbolty thinged.

Come on you, you started all this.

Come on, babe, he wants to party.

Come on, get outta here. What are you talking about?

Come on, let me show you the rest.

Come on, let's get the fuck out of here.

Come on. Come on. What do I mean?

Come to papa. (CHUCKLING)

Concessions! I know.

Could you maybe say something to him?

Cover charge! Really? DANNY: Yes, that's right.

Currently or in general?

Currently or in general? In general.

Currently?

Dad! What you doing? Go to Mommy. It's okay.

Daddy's coming home.

Danny bailed me out.

Danny Collins showed up at our house.

Danny Collins. What are you doing here?

Danny, Danny, Danny...

Danny, I don't know what you're talking about.

Danny, you're having a breakdown.

Danny, you're spiraling.

DANNY: (SINGING) And I'm walking blind upon this road

DANNY: (SLURRING) Mary!

DANNY: Hello, L.A.! It's good to be back!

DANNY: Hey, Jimmy! Hope.

DANNY: I wrote him, and then I talked to him on the phone.

DANNY: Jimmy, give us a minute. Thanks.

DANNY: Look at this, there's three of us.

DANNY: No, you said a day. Remember?

DANNY: Oh, I did.

DANNY: Oh, it's an upscale bar. You know, it's got...

DANNY: Oh, yeah...

DANNY: Okay. Let's just color.

DANNY: Ooh, ooh!

DANNY: Samantha, you were there.

DANNY: So I'll see you guys in Pittsburgh?

DANNY: Sophie!

DANNY: Then he writes,

DANNY: Well, I hope so. (CHUCKLING)

DANNY: You don't like chicken noodle soup?

DANNY: You're cool.

Danny!

Day ain't over yet.

Deal?

Deal.

Dear Danny Collins.

Didn't I already color that?

Dinner tomorrow?

Dinner?

Do you even hear yourself?

Do you have a name, sir?

Do you remember who did the original assessment?

Do you think I could bother you for a quick picture?

DOCTOR: Now I have had success with this in the past.

DOCTOR: Okay, Tom, so here's where we are.

Doctor's got her on full bed rest now.

Don't be mean to me. I really had a bad day.

Don't be so stubborn, Daddy! (WATER SPLASHING)

Don't even think about it. Okay.

Don't even worry about it. Come on.

Don't fucking touch me!

Don't get cocky.

Don't give me all the good stuff at once, will ya.

Don't go after Mary. Mary's mine.

Don't look back

Don't look back

Don't look back

Don't say anything to anyone.

Don't we? Don't we, Jamie?

Don't you fucking touch me. If I meant that...

Don't... Don't...

Done by 9:00. 9:00?

Done.

Down came the rain and it washed the spider out

DR. KURTZ: A more formal interview is required, obviously.

DR. KURTZ: How about that, huh?

DR. KURTZ: No, elementary and middle.

DR. KURTZ: We're only half speed during our summer programs.

DR. KURTZ: You really are.

Drink as many as you want. On me. Danny.

Drunker than I'd been the night before, the dumb shit.

Each one had to be reprogrammed manually. I hope I made that clear.

Each one older than the next. (CHUCKLING)

Eating a worm and it freaks me out.

Eating the licorice the entire show.

Every day.

Every single thing he says upsets me. Let him have this one day.

Every time I pull into my house.

Everybody wins.

Everything he says upsets me.

Everything is back there!

Everything is on this bus!

Everything's going to be all right, son.

Everything's going to be all right, son.

Everything's going to be okay.

Exactly, I mean, you're meeting

Except to say that it was a wild thing she did when she was 23

Family's up front. (CHUCKLING)

Fella named DeLoach?

For Chime Mag.

For more than five minutes.

For my handsome young friend here?

For sure as shit, I would have called him.

For the past 40 years, that's what I think, John.

Frank called me this morning and we're going back on tour.

Frank, I decided,

FRANK: Danny? Hey.

Frank.

Frank.

Frank. Gee, lowed you a call.

Fuck it, I don't care. I don't care.

Fuck, you're kidding me?

Fuck.

Fucking Mets break my heart every year.

Fully appropriate cocktail menu. Cover charge...

Ginger? No.

Give me a little credit, will ya? Sophie?

Give me a little more pressure. Just what I need.

Go ahead, man.

Go on in. He'll be thrilled to see you.

God bless you, Danny Collins.

God damn it, fucking Frank!

Good night, Danny.

Good night, Mary. Good night.

Good night, Samantha.

Good to see you, buddy.

Goodbye to Hope.

Goodbye, Mr. Collins.

Gotta listen to Mama. That's a good idea. SAMANTHA: Listen to Mama.

Grandpa!

Grandpa! (FRAME SHATTERS)

Grandpa? Honey.

Guess what? What?

Guy DeLoach with the apparently pre pubescent Danny Collins.

Ha! Fine.

Hang on. Mary!

Have a nice day, Mr. Collins.

Have I ever let you down before?

Have you heard of the New Compass School in Manhattan?

He calls you Tom. It's here,

He did. I'm great. Yeah.

He disagreed strongly.

He disagreed.

He doesn't want the honeymoon suite.

He either calls you Mr. Donnelly or Tom.

He had his own home telephone number in Ascot.

He just keeps it up his ass half the time.

He said he was sending it to me.

He sent it to you care of this DeLoach guy.

He visited me every Saturday till I got dry,

He wants to stay indefinitely

He was a big fan. Oh, he loved it.

He wrote you a letter.

He'd rather walk around like the living dead

He's a wonderful boy.

He's at work.

He's bitch slappin' the business center is what he's...

He's having bagels in the kitchen with Hope.

He's not a stranger, we saw him on TV.

He's our guest.

He's solid,

He's talking about three weeks of this target therapy shit.

He's your fan, he's just trying to impress you.

Hear us? Zeal's not awful. Zeal's not great.

Hello!

Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello.

Her aunt died last week, so we had a substitute.

Her real name was Dawn Wells.

Hey Hey.

Hey, baby doll

Hey, baby doll!

Hey, baby doll!

Hey, Jamie.

Hey, Ray!

Hey!

Hey! Wherever you are, it's okay,

Hey. Yeah?

Hi, Grandpa!

Hi, Samantha Donnelly. I follow you on Twitter.

Hi, sorry, I don't think we met.

Hi.

Hi. Hi.

Hi. Tom Donnelly for Dr. Silverman.

Hiroshi.

Hold it in as long as you can go,

Hold on.

Holy shit!

Honestly, this kind of was just a lame attempt to get you up to my room.

Honestly? (CHUCKLING)

Hope, is your Daddy the most stubborn man on the planet?

Hope, say goodbye to Mr. Collins.

Hope, your favorite flower is a...

HOPE: (SINGING) The itsy bitsy spider came up the water spout

HOPE: Daddy! Daddy!

HOPE: I want a bagel.

HOPE: It has a shower! DANNY: I know.

HOPE: Listen to Mama!

HOPE: One, two, three...

Hope! Hope!

How about that guy out front?

How about that? We should take this on the road.

How do I look?

How I allowed it to go on this long.

How much does insurance even cost...

How the fuck do you not like chicken noodle soup?

How we doing tonight? Oh. (EXHALING DEEPLY)

How's this for normal, superstar?

How's your health?

I agree. Yeah.

I always thought, whoever you were,

I am exhausted.

I am not a dinner tease.

I am not cool.

I am not happy about that.

I am not mad.

I am not ready to leave them.

I am right in the front row.

I am truly very sorry,

I am wondering what I'm going to tell my little girl about who you are.

I appreciated your zeal.

I can see her vagina again.

I can't believe I'm going to meet him.

I can't waste any more time.

I collect them all

I did. I did.

I didn't agree to a day. Samantha. For God's sake.

I didn't know... Hi, Samantha. Hi.

I didn't pull in the way I usually do,

I do, yes, I do. Okay.

I don't know what to say.

I don't know.

I don't know. My GPS tells me

I don't like noodles, okay?

I don't remember.

I don't think agreed is the word.

I don't think I can handle it.

I don't want his piano. Yeah?

I don't want that to start.

I don't want the last thing lever said to you to be mean,

I fell asleep at the wheel.

I find out in a few days.

I fired the pool guy and the gardener.

I gave Nicky my Mercedes.

I get four cases of bottled water,

I get it. Okay.

I get that a lot. What's your name?

I got a $200,000 mortgage.

I got a pregnant wife.

I got it all, baby. I got it all. DANNY: Okay.

I got on the first flight out.

I guess he's probably the one who, um,

I guess it does a little.

I had tracked him down years ago, you know,

I hate my boss.

I have to call him. I mean, I have to call him.

I haven't written a song in 30 years. Thirty years.

I hope that's okay.

I just couldn't...

I just finished the first grade.

I just wanna see your face.

I just want to know who the fuck is in my house. That's all.

I just... It wasn't right, you know?

I know how fanatical you are about Lennon.

I know what will happen.

I know. Come on!

I know. I've been told.

I know. There's a lot I want to tell you, pal.

I like your lawn.

I look absurd with her.

I lost my nerve.

I love that. So what?

I mean, after all, you're...

I mean, I guess this means that finally you'll let me buy you dinner?

I mean, I would love for our children

I mean, I'm not running for Pope.

I mean, Mr. Collins. I mean, uh...

I mean, sure, you've gone through three wives already,

I mean, the time he liked your white cell count. Remember that?

I mean, we had a big piece. I know.

I mean, we shouldn't have sold

I mean, what else is there?

I mean, you must've mentioned Lennon or something.

I mean, you need me, I'll be...

I mean, you're going to need help. You have a friend?

I met him, his wife, my granddaughter.

I need a plane.

I need the money. I got a family now.

I noticed something very interesting.

I promise, I'm not mad.

I pulled some strings,

I really didn't like the way he looked at me.

I ripped them up, okay? Okay.

I see that.

I see.

I sent checks.

I started drinking, heavily.

I still don't know...

I suspect the interview will go well.

I tell him that I'm looking to get you something special.

I think we should be honest with one another.

I think you know this one.

I think, maybe, uh, you should have sent the letter to my house.

I thought I'd come back and see how you're doing, you know. You nervous?

I thought it'd be fucking easier than this. (CHUCKLING)

I told you.

I tracked down my grown son,

I use her last name. Anything else?

I wanna hear you sing.

I wanna say something, but I'm afraid I'm going to be too nice.

I wanna taste.

I want to be a part of your life.

I want to cancel the rest of the tour.

I want you to hear me sing

I want you to stay here for a while, if you wish.

I was going to make you sign a prenup anyway.

I was so strung out

I was wondering if you could help me with something.

I will never be forced to sing those songs again.

I will not try to stop that.

I will tweet this to you. Awesome.

I won't think about killing myself every night.

I wonder if anyone's noticing.

I work construction. Local, residential.

I would have called him.

I would love for my husband to know his father.

I wouldn't think so, no.

I, uh, tried to help.

I'd rather she heard it from me.

I'll be playing a gig in a bar.

I'll give you guys a minute. Thank you, Doc.

I'll keep making passes and we'll see who quits first.

I'll tell you what. (KEYS CLINKING)

I'll tell you when we get home.

I'm a bit out of my depth.

I'm a fucking joke.

I'm a huge fan of this Hilton.

I'm an MC.

I'm broken. Ain't nothin' left to break.

I'm done with all of that shit too.

I'm done, Frank.

I'm Dr. Kurtz.

I'm elastic only on the weekends. (CHUCKLING)

I'm fine, baby. SAMANTHA: Yeah, don't be so stubborn, Daddy!

I'm going to call you Busywork because she's always doing busywork.

I'm going to Delaware on a job. That's what she knows.

I'm going to go to a gig at a bar.

I'm gonna go rest before my surprise party.

I'm gonna miss you. Gonna miss you.

I'm grabbing a cab.

I'm here as your friend, Danny. Not as your manager.

I'm home!

I'm home!

I'm Hope! Over here! That's me!

I'm in a giving vein today.

I'm in the shower.

I'm just, uh... (EXHALING DEEPLY)

I'm looking for my address book.

I'm Mary, the hotel manager.

I'm never nervous. Hand to God, not once.

I'm not following this, Frank.

I'm not going to lose my hair.

I'm not ready.

I'm not sorry.

I'm off for the summer.

I'm ready.

I'm running my operation out of the business center.

I'm saying I'm gonna get Hope

I'm seven! I'm Hope!

I'm sick.

I'm sorry, are you on drugs?

I'm sorry, but I'm not seeing your point.

I'm sorry, excuse me.

I'm sorry, what exactly do you want?

I'm sorry?

I'm sorry. I'm a little giddy. Laughing, no...

I'm sorry. It's okay, man. Look“.

I'm told that's what families do.

I'm Tom. Tom. Then you must be Hope.

I'm walking blind upon this road in search of higher ground

I'm way too old to be putting this much shit up my nose.

I'm writing, Frank.

I've been abusing my body for the better part of four decades.

I've been breaking down for 40 years.

I've been going over things with Bill

I've been holding onto this for months now.

I've been holding onto this for three months.

I've been so busy... (CHUCKLING) Yeah, apparently.

I've been taking notes.

IEP.

If I became, you know, rich beyond the dreams of avarice, you know,

If I got that letter when I was supposed to?

If I had a word with Danny in private?

If I have,

If I, um...

If it's bad,

If it's taken, then maybe I stand a chance.

If that makes you feel better. Hmm?

If what I just did qualified as singing, I'd be great.

In 1971.

In a few minutes, my husband is going to walk through that door

In musical knowledge or theory.

In this case, yes.

In two hours at the New Compass School?

Individualized Educational Program?

Instead of just get antibiotics.

INTERVIEWER: Right, yeah. COLLINS: So that's the frustrating thing, you see.

Is so fucking remote. (CHUCKLING)

Is that he's got a good heart.

Is that your big problem?

Is there a protocol on how to handle the situation?

It doesn't corrupt your art.

It has a certain feel to it. (SNIFFLING)

It just turns me on.

It looks like it could be a house.

It was a good show tonight, kid.

It was a good show tonight, kid.

It was a worse night for me.

It was in the first grade when we started to notice

It was so full of drugs and women...

It wasn't the right time.

It's a boy.

It's a little late for that, isn't it?

It's at a bar, huh?

It's been a real struggle for us.

It's been happening for weeks, at least since you got back.

It's been said, yes. I can afford it, though.

It's fine by me. You're young, have fun.

It's fine, that's what you're good at.

It's going to be all right.

It's gone.

It's got a multi modal approach

It's in the blood.

It's just a little bug. SAMANTHA: It's not a little bug.

It's just a little short.

It's just dead.

It's just that you need to understand how serious it is.

It's like one big IEP here.

It's like there's a six year wait.

It's never good news.

It's not over, Dad! (CHUCKLING)

It's not... What happened last night?

It's okay.

It's pretty bad.

It's ready for you, sir.

It's the man from TV that we saw singing!

It's the most progressive private school in the country.

It's what Mom died...

Jamie? That's the one.

Jersey.

Jesus Christ.

Jesus H!

Jesus, Frank,

Jesus, just come out.

Jesus. You look like Lee Trevino.

Jimmy, you wanna help her, please?

John Lennon writes, What do you think about that, Danny Collins?

John Lennon wrote you a handwritten letter in 1971.

John Lennon wrote you a letter, pal,

Josh, give me tequila, rocks, something añejo, and a splash of soda.

Josh.

Judd, yeah, right. Okay, very good. Yeah, yeah.

Judd.

June 30th, 1971.

Just after I've had my first album out.

Just busywork around here.

Just don't want any.

Just get me a gig.

Just give it a chance.

Just give me a day to do something good for you.

Just like Girl Scouts sell their cookies. Yeah.

Just never got the nerve up to, uh, come see him.

Just real quick. Real quick, my mom will die.

Just sat there gummin' it for two hours.

Just tell me whose.

Just tell me whose.

Just working out a little something.

Just, you know, something like Springsteen would go do.

Kind of means I sort of like ya.

Kiss?

Language, dean

Learning issues, behavioral stuff, all of it.

Lennon read it.

Let me ask you something. How did you think this was going to end,

Let me go back inside and talk to my wife

Let's do this thing. Come on.

Let's forget about what I said about drinking.

Let's go support our sugar daddy.

Let's see how you do first.

Like four people have been here. (ENGINE RUMBLING)

Listen, if this news is bad...

Literally, every time, it's a good thing when he calls you Tom.

Little birthday blues, I guess.

Look at that face.

Look at that. Now we're getting patter.

Look at this.

Look at this. Startin' to get it.

Look who it is, it's the man from TV!

Look, I don't care enough to be angry.

Look, I got a great doctor in New York.

Look, I'll check you in, okay? No.

Look, I'm the one that should be sorry.

Look, it's a $30,000 instrument, Tom. Sell it, for all I care.

Look, it's on TV! (TAPPING ON FLOOR)

Look, you want a little bit of the real world, huh?

Looking like that information

Love, John.

Made one pack of licorice last the whole show.

Make sure they know.

Makes him phobic about chicken noodle soup?

Makes me think of worms.

Making some changes in my life.

MAN #1: Come on, Danny, play Baby Doll!

MAN #1: Jesus H!

MAN #1: ls this cool? Sure.

MAN #2: I'm sorry?

MAN #2: Sure.

MAN #2: Yeah.

MAN #3: Baby Doll!

Man, if another wonderful face comes out of there,

Man, nothing holds my moves back.

MAN: Bye, Danny.

MAN: Excuse me, Mr. Collins?

Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island,

Mary Ann? Yeah.

Mary thinks it's really good.

Mary, wait, wait, wait.

Mary, you keep passing,

Mary, you know, I've done this a zillion times.

MARY: ...doesn't corrupt your art, only you can do that.

MARY: Hi. Hey.

MARY: Rick and I split last year.

May I give you 100 bucks?

May I...

Maybe you should ask her out.

Maybe. I don't know. I hope not.

Merchandise! I know.

Mmm hmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm. I gave up.

Mmm. You know...

Mmm.Ah.

Mom, Dad, you're not going to believe it!

Mommy called you. And you're home early.

Mommy, do you see this?

Mommy, look! It's Yo Gabba Gabba! I see it.

More normal people.

More than anything in the world.

More than anything, it's your writing.

More women than you know what to do with.

Most people are a little alarmed at how awful it can feel.

Mr. Collins, say goodbye to Hope.

Mr. Collins.

Mr. Donnelly?

My baby!

My daddy said, Shut it off, Samantha!

My granddaughter, ladies and gentlemen.

My guy needs a little rest here.

My manager and my best friend.