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Ted (2012) Ted is a hilarious comedy film released in 2012. Directed by Seth MacFarlane, who is famously known as the creator

Ted (2012)

Ted is a hilarious comedy film released in 2012. Directed by Seth MacFarlane, who is famously known as the creator of Family Guy, it stars Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, and Seth MacFarlane himself as the voice of the foul-mouthed and pot-smoking teddy bear named Ted. The movie revolves around a grown-up John Bennett (Wahlberg) and his magically alive childhood teddy bear, Ted, causing chaos in their lives. You can immerse yourself in the laughter by watching or downloading Ted from here.

A ah!
A ah!
A ah!
A ah!
A couple of Charles Brew kowskis?
A couple of Charles Brew kowskis?
A cushy, $38,000 a year branch manager
A cushy, $38,000 a year branch manager
A E I O U
A E I O U
A hundred bucks says he's showing her the diving team photo.
A hundred bucks says he's showing her the diving team photo.
A little heavy on the eye makeup, but pretty good.
A little heavy on the eye makeup, but pretty good.
A long time ago,
A long time ago,
A paler, uglier sort than women from the elsewheres of life.
A paler, uglier sort than women from the elsewheres of life.
A professional NFL player is called upon to save the world.
A professional NFL player is called upon to save the world.
A young boy's stuffed animal
A young boy's stuffed animal
About Channing Tatum's index finger.
About Channing Tatum's index finger.
Actually, could you wrap just this up for me?
Actually, could you wrap just this up for me?
Actually, you weren't so bad for a guy with no penis.
Actually, you weren't so bad for a guy with no penis.
Adam Sandier plays a guy and his sister, and it's just awful.
Adam Sandier plays a guy and his sister, and it's just awful.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah! You suck, Kareem.
Ah! You suck, Kareem.
All day, every day. Just awful.
All day, every day. Just awful.
All I do is smoke pot and watch movies with a teddy fucking bear.
All I do is smoke pot and watch movies with a teddy fucking bear.
All I want is... I just want to end on good terms.
All I want is... I just want to end on good terms.
All right, Brandi, Heather, Channing,
All right, Brandi, Heather, Channing,
All right, buddy, go get 'em.
All right, buddy, go get 'em.
All right, easy. Come on, Ted.
All right, easy. Come on, Ted.
All right, fuck it.
All right, fuck it.
All right, here's your keys, your rental agreement,
All right, here's your keys, your rental agreement,
All right, I get it.
All right, I get it.
All right, I love you.
All right, I love you.
All right, I'm just saying.
All right, I'm just saying.
All right, Kareem!
All right, Kareem!
All right, kid, you win. We'll do it your way.
All right, kid, you win. We'll do it your way.
All right, look, let's just find a better place to get stoned.
All right, look, let's just find a better place to get stoned.
All right, this is one man to another.
All right, this is one man to another.
All right, whatever you say.
All right, whatever you say.
All right? He'll be all yours.
All right? He'll be all yours.
All the children were opening their gifts with holiday glee.
All the children were opening their gifts with holiday glee.
All the time.
All the time.
All you've got to do is not fuck up.
All you've got to do is not fuck up.
ALL: Go, go, go!
ALL: Go, go, go!
An absolute death machine.
An absolute death machine.
An Apache helicopter has machine guns and missiles.
An Apache helicopter has machine guns and missiles.
And a magical Christmas wish
And a magical Christmas wish
And be an adult here, for Lori's sake.
And be an adult here, for Lori's sake.
And bring a friend up to the stage.
And bring a friend up to the stage.
And by blaming me, you, you're just
And by blaming me, you, you're just
And by the united peoples of the planet Mongo,
And by the united peoples of the planet Mongo,
And champagne.
And champagne.
And charged with kidnapping a plush toy.
And charged with kidnapping a plush toy.
And Cherene's pretty ballsy.
And Cherene's pretty ballsy.
And dancing.
And dancing.
And died of Lou Gehrig's disease.
And died of Lou Gehrig's disease.
And for showing up late today, all right?
And for showing up late today, all right?
And he couldn't wait to tell everyone the good news.
And he couldn't wait to tell everyone the good news.
And he knew that if he ever found that friend,
And he knew that if he ever found that friend,
And he said, "No."
And he said, "No."
And hey, all those rich black people can't be wrong, right?
And hey, all those rich black people can't be wrong, right?
And I asked my dad if I could have a magical little teddy bear, too.
And I asked my dad if I could have a magical little teddy bear, too.
And I do love her, Ted.
And I do love her, Ted.
And I guess one of these dogs clamped his jaws on her forearm
And I guess one of these dogs clamped his jaws on her forearm
And I guess she got hurt pretty bad.
And I guess she got hurt pretty bad.
And I just want you to know that I love you for it,
And I just want you to know that I love you for it,
And I promised myself that if I ever had a son,
And I promised myself that if I ever had a son,
And I remember seeing you on the Carson show.
And I remember seeing you on the Carson show.
And I sold the parsnip to a family with four small children.
And I sold the parsnip to a family with four small children.
And I think it's a new beginning for our relationship.
And I think it's a new beginning for our relationship.
And I thought you were the most amazing,
And I thought you were the most amazing,
And I want you to know that, after last night
And I want you to know that, after last night
And I was so heartbroken.
And I was so heartbroken.
And I would love it if you would go with me.
And I would love it if you would go with me.
And if that means getting you off my back,
And if that means getting you off my back,
And if you're miserable and you hate it
And if you're miserable and you hate it
And it kills me to have to tell you no, because I'm a people pleaser.
And it kills me to have to tell you no, because I'm a people pleaser.
And it reminds me that things aren't so bad.
And it reminds me that things aren't so bad.
And it's a non restricted place.
And it's a non restricted place.
And it's about time someone treated you that way.
And it's about time someone treated you that way.
And it's been a reflex ever since.
And it's been a reflex ever since.
And Jesus be with you... Okay.
And Jesus be with you... Okay.
And just enjoy our anniversary dinner?
And just enjoy our anniversary dinner?
And maybe take some of the heat off you.
And maybe take some of the heat off you.
And my wish came true.
And my wish came true.
And one of them had his foot stuck under a rock
And one of them had his foot stuck under a rock
And really slowly de limbing you
And really slowly de limbing you
And something called, "This is Permanent."
And something called, "This is Permanent."
And stuck his finger in his ass.
And stuck his finger in his ass.
And that humanity can no longer fulfill its desires
And that humanity can no longer fulfill its desires
And that kid who I think is his son,
And that kid who I think is his son,
And that the word "acting" apparently
And that the word "acting" apparently
And that was a promise that neither one of them ever forgot.
And that was a promise that neither one of them ever forgot.
And then he got deported back to Iran,
And then he got deported back to Iran,
And then she farted in her sleep.
And then she farted in her sleep.
And then we ran up to it
And then we ran up to it
And then you can say whatever you want.
And then you can say whatever you want.
And then, at 4:30, I texted the same person saying, "Thanks."
And then, at 4:30, I texted the same person saying, "Thanks."
And there he was, picking her up.
And there he was, picking her up.
And unless you're too blind to notice,
And unless you're too blind to notice,
And we had awkward fuzzy sex in the coatroom.
And we had awkward fuzzy sex in the coatroom.
And we tried to give it CPR, and it came back to life.
And we tried to give it CPR, and it came back to life.
And we're in love.
And we're in love.
And went on to become
And went on to become
And when I hit it, fucking buzz it.
And when I hit it, fucking buzz it.
And who do you think is with him? Sam Jones.
And who do you think is with him? Sam Jones.
And wouldn't let go until the fireman showed up
And wouldn't let go until the fireman showed up
And you better never show your face around Quincy, you hear me?
And you better never show your face around Quincy, you hear me?
And you can call me any time, okay?
And you can call me any time, okay?
And you don't remember it?
And you don't remember it?
And you get my job when I go to corporate next month.
And you get my job when I go to corporate next month.
And you hit that squirrel with your BB gun?
And you hit that squirrel with your BB gun?
And you just put "brewski" at the end of "Martina Navratilova," so...
And you just put "brewski" at the end of "Martina Navratilova," so...
And you're not gay, so we're fine.
And you're not gay, so we're fine.
And, as one gentleman to another, I just want to say
And, as one gentleman to another, I just want to say
And, by the way, my dancing was not that bad.
And, by the way, my dancing was not that bad.
And, I swear to God, it is because of that bear.
And, I swear to God, it is because of that bear.
And, John, Sam Jones is here.
And, John, Sam Jones is here.
And, you know, I don't blame you.
And, you know, I don't blame you.
And, you'll see,
And, you'll see,
Are we having homosexuals over for dinner tonight?
Are we having homosexuals over for dinner tonight?
Are you going to do it?
Are you going to do it?
Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?
Are you okay? (GROANING)
Are you okay? (GROANING)
Are you out here all alone?
Are you out here all alone?
As you can see, my dance card is quite full.
As you can see, my dance card is quite full.
At some fucking fancy shit place, whatever.
At some fucking fancy shit place, whatever.
Aw, congratulations, John.
Aw, congratulations, John.
Aw! Merry Christmas, John.
Aw! Merry Christmas, John.
Baby, please ask Ted to move out
Baby, please ask Ted to move out
Baltic? Czech?
Baltic? Czech?
Because I don't want them treating me differently.
Because I don't want them treating me differently.
Because I love you.
Because I love you.
Because I'm only going to need one.
Because I'm only going to need one.
Because in a month, my life could be your life.
Because in a month, my life could be your life.
Because of that, I just lost the love of my life.
Because of that, I just lost the love of my life.
Because then, we could be best friends forever and ever.
Because then, we could be best friends forever and ever.
Because, "How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?"
Because, "How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?"
Because, "How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?"
Because, "How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?"
Besides, what if he chose Ted?
Besides, what if he chose Ted?
Boom. That's me and Skerritt.
Boom. That's me and Skerritt.
BOTH: (SINGING) When you hear the sound of thunder Don't you get too scared
BOTH: (SINGING) When you hear the sound of thunder Don't you get too scared
BOTH: One, two, three!
BOTH: One, two, three!
Brandi Lynn, Heather Lynn, Channing... Tami Lynn.
Brandi Lynn, Heather Lynn, Channing... Tami Lynn.
Break his arm off!
Break his arm off!
Break this up, break this up.
Break this up, break this up.
Breanna, Amber, Sabrina, Melody,
Breanna, Amber, Sabrina, Melody,
Britney? Tiffany? No. No.
Britney? Tiffany? No. No.
Bullshit! That totally works.
Bullshit! That totally works.
But as long as he's got his teddy bear,
But as long as he's got his teddy bear,
But at least you didn't have to make a magical wish to get me.
But at least you didn't have to make a magical wish to get me.
But do you think she might be expecting me to make that kind of a move?
But do you think she might be expecting me to make that kind of a move?
But I can give you love, and rocking horses,
But I can give you love, and rocking horses,
But I don't think you want to hear any of that crap.
But I don't think you want to hear any of that crap.
But I don't want you to do that.
But I don't want you to do that.
But I made friends in the line.
But I made friends in the line.
But I read at a six year old level, so...
But I read at a six year old level, so...
But I want to wait until I get you something really special.
But I want to wait until I get you something really special.
But I'm really happy that you were.
But I'm really happy that you were.
But I'm surprised John didn't tell you, considering
But I'm surprised John didn't tell you, considering
But I'm talking about a mature relationship, Lori.
But I'm talking about a mature relationship, Lori.
But may also be his lover, I don't know.
But may also be his lover, I don't know.
But my son and I couldn't help but admire your teddy bear.
But my son and I couldn't help but admire your teddy bear.
But she told me how you are at the office.
But she told me how you are at the office.
But that doesn't mean we can't hang out. We'll hang out all the time.
But that doesn't mean we can't hang out. We'll hang out all the time.
But then we're two of a kind
But then we're two of a kind
But there was one child who wasn't in such good spirits.
But there was one child who wasn't in such good spirits.
But they don't have a gong or nothing, so it's not too bad.
But they don't have a gong or nothing, so it's not too bad.
But will you take care of me forever and ever?
But will you take care of me forever and ever?
But you're no longer eight. You're 35 years old.
But you're no longer eight. You're 35 years old.
But you've got to believe me it wasn't all his fault.
But you've got to believe me it wasn't all his fault.
But you've got to make some money
But you've got to make some money
But, Dad... Get over here!
But, Dad... Get over here!
But, look, man, I do that with everybody at the office.
But, look, man, I do that with everybody at the office.
But, Lori, I need to see you in my office.
But, Lori, I need to see you in my office.
By the New York Jets
By the New York Jets
By the power vested in me
By the power vested in me
Can I just get a hug?
Can I just get a hug?
Can I... Just give me the car keys.
Can I... Just give me the car keys.
Can we talk about this another time,
Can we talk about this another time,
Can you call him back?
Can you call him back?
Can you call it?
Can you call it?
Can you just email me the rest of this story?
Can you just email me the rest of this story?
Ch, my God, yes! Ch, my God, yes!
Ch, my God, yes! Ch, my God, yes!
Check this out.
Check this out.
Check this out.
Check this out.
Chill out. Can we just talk about this? What's your name? I'm John.
Chill out. Can we just talk about this? What's your name? I'm John.
Chopped salad, half price.
Chopped salad, half price.
Christmas Day brought a very special new arrival.
Christmas Day brought a very special new arrival.
Ciao Bella is a really expensive restaurant.
Ciao Bella is a really expensive restaurant.
Cocaine, right?
Cocaine, right?
Come here, you bastard.
Come here, you bastard.
Come on upstairs. Are you even listening to me?
Come on upstairs. Are you even listening to me?
Come on, buddy.
Come on, buddy.
Come on, dudes. Don't tell me you never done it before.
Come on, dudes. Don't tell me you never done it before.
Come on, I do not sound that much like Peter Griffin.
Come on, I do not sound that much like Peter Griffin.
Come on, I'm bored as crap over here. Just swing by for a bit.
Come on, I'm bored as crap over here. Just swing by for a bit.
Come on, it's not that bad.
Come on, it's not that bad.
Come on, James Franco.
Come on, James Franco.
Come on, nobody's expecting anybody to propose.
Come on, nobody's expecting anybody to propose.
Come on, Robert.
Come on, Robert.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on. Give him a chance.
Come on. Give him a chance.
Come on. It's not that bad, okay?
Come on. It's not that bad, okay?
Come on. She'll go home,
Come on. She'll go home,
Come on. Take it easy.
Come on. Take it easy.
Come on. We're going to the Hatch Shell.
Come on. We're going to the Hatch Shell.
Come share this with me.
Come share this with me.
Comes what is, without a doubt, the most incredible story...
Comes what is, without a doubt, the most incredible story...
Company's turning 20, huh?
Company's turning 20, huh?
Complimentary map of Boston.
Complimentary map of Boston.
Couple of Brew stoyevskis?
Couple of Brew stoyevskis?
Cristal.
Cristal.
Daddy gave me an ouch.
Daddy gave me an ouch.
Daddy punished me for it.
Daddy punished me for it.
Dakota, Sierra, Bambi, Crystal,
Dakota, Sierra, Bambi, Crystal,
Dark, beautiful, smoky...
Dark, beautiful, smoky...
Death to Ming!
Death to Ming!
Did the whole place for $47.
Did the whole place for $47.
Did you ever hear a Boston girl have an orgasm?
Did you ever hear a Boston girl have an orgasm?
Did you hurt your head?
Did you hurt your head?
Did you just call me a whore?
Did you just call me a whore?
Did you really just fart?
Did you really just fart?
Did you see the way the guy's body hit the ground?
Did you see the way the guy's body hit the ground?
Did you... Did you just talk?
Did you... Did you just talk?
Do I dare look at the clock?
Do I dare look at the clock?
Do I need to wash my hands before I play this game?
Do I need to wash my hands before I play this game?
Do you give any shred of a shit?
Do you give any shred of a shit?
Do you have any clue? My fucking life just ended!
Do you have any clue? My fucking life just ended!
Do you know what just happened?
Do you know what just happened?
Do you mind covering for me for a bit?
Do you mind covering for me for a bit?
Do you need a lift?
Do you need a lift?
Do you promise we'll always be together?
Do you promise we'll always be together?
Do you see me fucking with you? All right, speed round.
Do you see me fucking with you? All right, speed round.
Do you want to get nasty?
Do you want to get nasty?
Do you want to go get a drink after this?
Do you want to go get a drink after this?
Doing so much more
Doing so much more
Don't ever lose her again.
Don't ever lose her again.
Don't fuck with me on this. I know this shit!
Don't fuck with me on this. I know this shit!
Don't look so surprised.
Don't look so surprised.
Don't ruin it. No.
Don't ruin it. No.
Don't talk shit to me.
Don't talk shit to me.
Don't tell me! I don't want to hear about it! Did you get it?
Don't tell me! I don't want to hear about it! Did you get it?
Don't worry about that, because I don't swallow.
Don't worry about that, because I don't swallow.
Don't! Get it away from me!
Don't! Get it away from me!
Donny was arrested by Boston police
Donny was arrested by Boston police
Dude, I got 10 minutes. Where's Flash Gordon?
Dude, I got 10 minutes. Where's Flash Gordon?
Dude, one man to another. I got you on this.
Dude, one man to another. I got you on this.
Eleven, twelve, thirteen...
Eleven, twelve, thirteen...
Even
Even
Even more than me.
Even more than me.
Eventually, nobody gives a shit.
Eventually, nobody gives a shit.
Every now and then when my life's
Every now and then when my life's
Everybody should suck your asshole, or something?
Everybody should suck your asshole, or something?
Exactly, that's what I'm saying.
Exactly, that's what I'm saying.
Except an Apache helicopter.
Except an Apache helicopter.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Expecting something big, do you?
Expecting something big, do you?
Finally.
Finally.
Fine, John, but this is, I swear to God, your last chance.
Fine, John, but this is, I swear to God, your last chance.
Fine. It sure as hell beats crying myself to sleep every night.
Fine. It sure as hell beats crying myself to sleep every night.
First night on your own.
First night on your own.
Flash Gordon is the symbol of our friendship, John.
Flash Gordon is the symbol of our friendship, John.
Flash Gordon. Quarterback, New York Jets.
Flash Gordon. Quarterback, New York Jets.
Flash jump.
Flash jump.
Flash!
Flash!
For God's sakes.
For God's sakes.
For real.
For real.
For some reason I thought you were going to be taller.
For some reason I thought you were going to be taller.
For something that you did to yourself.
For something that you did to yourself.
For something that you did to yourself.
For something that you did to yourself.
For what?
For what?
For what?
For what?
For you, I will.
For you, I will.
Forever and ever?
Forever and ever?
Forever changed the lives of three very special friends.
Forever changed the lives of three very special friends.
Forever.
Forever.
From active duty in the Civil War
From active duty in the Civil War
Fuck it. Bring it in. Come here.
Fuck it. Bring it in. Come here.
Fuck that. I traded off yesterday so I got the other shift.
Fuck that. I traded off yesterday so I got the other shift.
Fuck you, thunder You can suck my dick
Fuck you, thunder You can suck my dick
Fuck, I can%!
Fuck, I can%!
Fuck, man!
Fuck, man!
Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuck! Shit.
Fuck! Shit.
Fuck. Shit, sorry, that's the thing from the...
Fuck. Shit, sorry, that's the thing from the...
Fucking Becky? No.
Fucking Becky? No.
Fucking stop! Fuck!
Fucking stop! Fuck!
Funny how it always goes with love
Funny how it always goes with love
Get him!
Get him!
Get him!
Get him!
Get lost, Bennett!
Get lost, Bennett!
Get out of here, Bennett!
Get out of here, Bennett!
Get out of here, Bennett.
Get out of here, Bennett.
Get out of here, okay?
Get out of here, okay?
Get serious about opening a restaurant
Get serious about opening a restaurant
Getting me down and things are tough,
Getting me down and things are tough,
Give it a couple of hours. You'll be golden, Ponyboy.
Give it a couple of hours. You'll be golden, Ponyboy.
Glad to hear it.
Glad to hear it.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
Go away.
Go away.
Go on, spark it up.
Go on, spark it up.
Go, take care of it. Let me know how she is.
Go, take care of it. Let me know how she is.
Go! Go!Go!
Go! Go!Go!
Go. Take Columbus to Herald and get on the expressway.
Go. Take Columbus to Herald and get on the expressway.
God damn it! I'm here on business!
God damn it! I'm here on business!
God damn it! I'm here on business!
God damn it! I'm here on business!
God, is it bad?
God, is it bad?
God, Johnny, I got so much energy.
God, Johnny, I got so much energy.
God, there are some fucked up fish out there.
God, there are some fucked up fish out there.
Goddamn right, "Wow."
Goddamn right, "Wow."
Good luck. Thank you.
Good luck. Thank you.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Good, good. Let's see. How about we...
Good, good. Let's see. How about we...
Goodbye, Rex.
Goodbye, Rex.
Got it. Oh, my God! This house is fucking huge!
Got it. Oh, my God! This house is fucking huge!
Great.
Great.
GUY: You guys have been going out for four years?
GUY: You guys have been going out for four years?
Ha ha. No, just you homos.
Ha ha. No, just you homos.
Had no intention to do
Had no intention to do
Half Indian, but thanks.
Half Indian, but thanks.
Hang gm
Hang gm
Happy playtime.
Happy playtime.
Has an extremely broad definition.
Has an extremely broad definition.
Has magically come to life for, as yet, unknown reasons...
Has magically come to life for, as yet, unknown reasons...
Have you ever considered selling the bear?
Have you ever considered selling the bear?
Having discovered at last, that all they really needed was each other.
Having discovered at last, that all they really needed was each other.
He currently resides in Burbank
He currently resides in Burbank
He knows he screwed up huge
He knows he screwed up huge
He knows nothing but a man
He knows nothing but a man
He only hit on me once today, so, it's a good thing.
He only hit on me once today, so, it's a good thing.
He said "no," he was going to stay there with you, and I twisted his arm, Lori.
He said "no," he was going to stay there with you, and I twisted his arm, Lori.
He talks!
He talks!
He taught us right from wrong, good from evil.
He taught us right from wrong, good from evil.
He thought ALF was ******* for some reason.
He thought ALF was ******* for some reason.
He was instantly promoted to store manager.
He was instantly promoted to store manager.
He was like a ragdoll.
He was like a ragdoll.
He would never let him go.
He would never let him go.
He'll never be scared of thunder again.
He'll never be scared of thunder again.
He'll save every one of us!
He'll save every one of us!
He's a bear.
He's a bear.
He's always going to be a boy.
He's always going to be a boy.
He's going to sing a song to a special lady
He's going to sing a song to a special lady
He's not your only friend anymore.
He's not your only friend anymore.
He's such an asshole.
He's such an asshole.
He's the only reason I ever gained any fucking confidence.
He's the only reason I ever gained any fucking confidence.
He's very, very special to me.
He's very, very special to me.
He's waiting down at Charlie's right now.
He's waiting down at Charlie's right now.
Helen, get my gun, and call the police!
Helen, get my gun, and call the police!
Helen, get my gun. Dad, no!
Helen, get my gun. Dad, no!
Hello, 911?
Hello, 911?
Hello, Teddy.
Hello, Teddy.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello? Hello, John?
Hello? Hello, John?
Here it goes, in the really important pocket for really important stuff.
Here it goes, in the really important pocket for really important stuff.
Here's my address and phone number.
Here's my address and phone number.
Here's to four more years.
Here's to four more years.
HEY HEY
HEY HEY
Hey there, fella. How are you?
Hey there, fella. How are you?
Hey there.
Hey there.
Hey Yes?
Hey Yes?
Hey, Alix, what's up? You get in the club last night?
Hey, Alix, what's up? You get in the club last night?
Hey, anything for you.
Hey, anything for you.
Hey, buddies. Where is it hanging?
Hey, buddies. Where is it hanging?
Hey, by the way, don't let me forget,
Hey, by the way, don't let me forget,
Hey, Ellen.
Hey, Ellen.
Hey, GUY
Hey, GUY
Hey, guys, anybody know a nice restaurant,
Hey, guys, anybody know a nice restaurant,
Hey, GUYS, can I play?
Hey, GUYS, can I play?
Hey, how are you holding up?
Hey, how are you holding up?
Hey, Jared, let's go grab another one of these.
Hey, Jared, let's go grab another one of these.
Hey, Johnny, I just had a great idea.
Hey, Johnny, I just had a great idea.
Hey, Johnny! Total T.J. Hooker, right?
Hey, Johnny! Total T.J. Hooker, right?
Hey, Lori .
Hey, Lori .
Hey, man, you think you can open more than one register?
Hey, man, you think you can open more than one register?
Hey, Sam, this is the guy I was telling you about.
Hey, Sam, this is the guy I was telling you about.
Hey, squirt, how you doing? Where's your bunny rabbit?
Hey, squirt, how you doing? Where's your bunny rabbit?
Hey, Ted.
Hey, Ted.
Hey, Ted. (EXCLAIMS)
Hey, Ted. (EXCLAIMS)
Hey, Ted. (EXCLAIMS)
Hey, Ted. (EXCLAIMS)
Hey, Ted. Hey, Johnny, what are you doing?
Hey, Ted. Hey, Johnny, what are you doing?
Hey, there, sweaty.
Hey, there, sweaty.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey. Hey, sweetie.
Hey. Hey, sweetie.
Hi, my name is John Bennett,
Hi, my name is John Bennett,
Hi, Norah Jones.
Hi, Norah Jones.
Hi, Ted.
Hi, Ted.
Hi, Thomas, how are you?
Hi, Thomas, how are you?
Hi. Hi.
Hi. Hi.
Hi. Hi.
Hi. Hi.
Holy shit!
Holy shit!
Holy shit! What?
Holy shit! What?
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
How are the neighbors?
How are the neighbors?
How are you doing, you fuzzy little asshole?
How are you doing, you fuzzy little asshole?
How are you?
How are you?
How do you know?
How do you know?
How great is this? The four of us out to dinner.
How great is this? The four of us out to dinner.
How great Lori's hair always looks.
How great Lori's hair always looks.
How long have we been saying we were going to...
How long have we been saying we were going to...
How stupid do you think I am?
How stupid do you think I am?
How was work?
How was work?
How you doing? Good to meet you.
How you doing? Good to meet you.
How's work? It sucks.
How's work? It sucks.
How's your dickhead boss?
How's your dickhead boss?
Hug me.
Hug me.
Huh?
Huh?
Huh?
Huh?
Huh? Meat hole? What?
Huh? Meat hole? What?
Huh.
Huh.
I actually went through something like this with my last boyfriend.
I actually went through something like this with my last boyfriend.
I always want to fucking brush it.
I always want to fucking brush it.
I am a citizen of the United States of America
I am a citizen of the United States of America
I am so fake happy for her.
I am so fake happy for her.
I bet it's hilarious. Let me out of here!
I bet it's hilarious. Let me out of here!
I can offer you $6,000 in rail road bonds.
I can offer you $6,000 in rail road bonds.
I can see that. (SIGHS)
I can see that. (SIGHS)
I can't.
I can't.
I cannot just ditch work, man.
I cannot just ditch work, man.
I could kick your fucking ass.
I could kick your fucking ass.
I could sit here and tell you I'm sorry,
I could sit here and tell you I'm sorry,
I could totally see him just taking you down to the basement
I could totally see him just taking you down to the basement
I didn't get in because the bouncer was douche face.
I didn't get in because the bouncer was douche face.
I didn't know you had a baby. Is it alive?
I didn't know you had a baby. Is it alive?
I do love you more than life itself.
I do love you more than life itself.
I don't care about that. I mean, I'd love him if he was a janitor.
I don't care about that. I mean, I'd love him if he was a janitor.
I don't deserve you.
I don't deserve you.
I don't ever want to lose anyone who matters to me ever again.
I don't ever want to lose anyone who matters to me ever again.
I don't have to be at work for another 20 minutes.
I don't have to be at work for another 20 minutes.
I don't have to. I'm a fucking teddy bear.
I don't have to. I'm a fucking teddy bear.
I don't have to. I'm a fucking teddy bear.
I don't have to. I'm a fucking teddy bear.
I don't know if I can drive!
I don't know if I can drive!
I don't know that you want to go to a drug dealer with complaints.
I don't know that you want to go to a drug dealer with complaints.
I don't know, but if it were me, I'd be expecting a proposal.
I don't know, but if it were me, I'd be expecting a proposal.
I don't know, I got fucking wasted last night.
I don't know, I got fucking wasted last night.
I don't know, I guess most guys wouldn't do that.
I don't know, I guess most guys wouldn't do that.
I don't know. I dig chicks, man.
I don't know. I dig chicks, man.
I don't know. Maybe, yeah.
I don't know. Maybe, yeah.
I don't know. Where is he?
I don't know. Where is he?
I don't really know you, but I'm trusting you, as a man.
I don't really know you, but I'm trusting you, as a man.
I don't remember any of it. I was so fucked up.
I don't remember any of it. I was so fucked up.
I don't think so. I'm...
I don't think so. I'm...
I don't understand why you keep putting up with him.
I don't understand why you keep putting up with him.
I don't want to work at a grocery store.
I don't want to work at a grocery store.
I don't. I look like Snuggle's accountant.
I don't. I look like Snuggle's accountant.
I feel like I could use one after seeing a guy almost die.
I feel like I could use one after seeing a guy almost die.
I found my phone.
I found my phone.
I fucked her with a parsnip last week
I fucked her with a parsnip last week
I got a lot of pictures of you guys at my house.
I got a lot of pictures of you guys at my house.
I got a shitty job, and I assure you, lam quite content.
I got a shitty job, and I assure you, lam quite content.
I got it.
I got it.
I got to go.
I got to go.
I got you something anyway, in clear violation of the "no gift" rule.
I got you something anyway, in clear violation of the "no gift" rule.
I got you, motherfucker.
I got you, motherfucker.
I got you. Okay.
I got you. Okay.
I got your back on this. She won't know. I've been there.
I got your back on this. She won't know. I've been there.
I gotta be on my own, Ted. I can't see you anymore.
I gotta be on my own, Ted. I can't see you anymore.
I gotta cut out for a bit.
I gotta cut out for a bit.
I gotta fuck her again.
I gotta fuck her again.
I guess I didn't think about that.
I guess I didn't think about that.
I guess I wasn't really prepared for a follow up question.
I guess I wasn't really prepared for a follow up question.
I guess Santa paid attention to how good you were this year, huh?
I guess Santa paid attention to how good you were this year, huh?
I guess this is it, huh?
I guess this is it, huh?
I guess we can't make small talk all day, huh?
I guess we can't make small talk all day, huh?
I had no idea.
I had no idea.
I have a boyfriend. I have told you this.
I have a boyfriend. I have told you this.
I have given up a huge chunk of my life for you.
I have given up a huge chunk of my life for you.
I have no designs on your girlfriend.
I have no designs on your girlfriend.
I have so much teddy bear paperwork I have to get to, it is sick.
I have so much teddy bear paperwork I have to get to, it is sick.
I have tickets to Norah Jones at the Hatch Shell tonight
I have tickets to Norah Jones at the Hatch Shell tonight
I have to say, I've been following you ever since I was a young boy
I have to say, I've been following you ever since I was a young boy
I hear the fat kid running. I hear the fat kid running.
I hear the fat kid running. I hear the fat kid running.
I just asked you a question.
I just asked you a question.
I just barely outbid Phil Donahue for that at auction.
I just barely outbid Phil Donahue for that at auction.
I just come up here and I look at it.
I just come up here and I look at it.
I just didn't have time for breakfast and the garage was full,
I just didn't have time for breakfast and the garage was full,
I just don't have the money right now.
I just don't have the money right now.
I just farted. That was a man fart.
I just farted. That was a man fart.
I just got a shitty new apartment...
I just got a shitty new apartment...
I just thought we were saying funny names.
I just thought we were saying funny names.
I just wanted John and I to be friends.
I just wanted John and I to be friends.
I know I didn't take our relationship seriously but, Lori,
I know I didn't take our relationship seriously but, Lori,
I know it sucks, but otherwise I'm going to lose her.
I know it sucks, but otherwise I'm going to lose her.
I know that.
I know that.
I know what you did with Ted wasn't easy,
I know what you did with Ted wasn't easy,
I know you do, Johnny.
I know you do, Johnny.
I know, done. Man. Right here, in front of you, all right?
I know, done. Man. Right here, in front of you, all right?
I know, sir, I'm sorry. It wasn't my fault.
I know, sir, I'm sorry. It wasn't my fault.
I know. And we'll hang out all the time, right?
I know. And we'll hang out all the time, right?
I know. I just don't know what to do, here.
I know. I just don't know what to do, here.
I know. Try not to get lost. Come on in.
I know. Try not to get lost. Come on in.
I look stupid.
I look stupid.
I love hide and seek. I'll hide.
I love hide and seek. I'll hide.
I love my sixpence Better than my life
I love my sixpence Better than my life
I love you girls.
I love you girls.
I love you so much. You won't be sorry, I swear.
I love you so much. You won't be sorry, I swear.
I love you, too, Teddy.
I love you, too, Teddy.
I love you, too.
I love you, too.
I love you, too.
I love you, too.
I love you, too. (LAUGHING) And you're nasty.
I love you, too. (LAUGHING) And you're nasty.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I made you out to be a hero.
I made you out to be a hero.
I mean, he has a huge heart and we laugh a lot.
I mean, he has a huge heart and we laugh a lot.
I mean, look at Haiti.
I mean, look at Haiti.
I mean, marriage isn't...
I mean, marriage isn't...
I met a girl. She's a cashier.
I met a girl. She's a cashier.
I might be gay, I don't know.
I might be gay, I don't know.
I might go lay down in the john.
I might go lay down in the john.
I need the police right away.
I need the police right away.
I need to talk to you.
I need to talk to you.
I need.
I need.
I now pronounce you man and wife.
I now pronounce you man and wife.
I promise I will leave and I'll never come back.
I promise I will leave and I'll never come back.
I promise, you're going to be okay.
I promise, you're going to be okay.
I promise.
I promise.
I realize that. Good.
I realize that. Good.
I really don't care, as long as we're together.
I really don't care, as long as we're together.
I really hope you fucking get Lou Gehrig's disease.
I really hope you fucking get Lou Gehrig's disease.
I said a bad word one time.
I said a bad word one time.
I saw Lori leaving the apartment with Rex.
I saw Lori leaving the apartment with Rex.
I saw you on television.
I saw you on television.
I should have stopped hanging out with you a long time ago.
I should have stopped hanging out with you a long time ago.
I sure would.
I sure would.
I thank you for saving every one of us.
I thank you for saving every one of us.
I think I need to clear the air here a little.
I think I need to clear the air here a little.
I think it sucks. I'm going to have a talk with him.
I think it sucks. I'm going to have a talk with him.
I think you're a great guy and she's a very lucky girl.
I think you're a great guy and she's a very lucky girl.
I think you're being a little more fair to him.
I think you're being a little more fair to him.
I thought that was just for people in Florida.
I thought that was just for people in Florida.
I thought the fireman stuck his own finger up his own ass.
I thought the fireman stuck his own finger up his own ass.
I thought you were going to be funnier.
I thought you were going to be funnier.
I told him to bail on you that night at Rex's and he said, "No."
I told him to bail on you that night at Rex's and he said, "No."
I told my weed guy to step it up and he gave me that.
I told my weed guy to step it up and he gave me that.
I told you, I can totally be a lawyer.
I told you, I can totally be a lawyer.
I try to make duck dinner, now plaster everywhere.
I try to make duck dinner, now plaster everywhere.
I want it.
I want it.
I want to be fair to you and to him, you know?
I want to be fair to you and to him, you know?
I want to take her someplace really nice.
I want to take her someplace really nice.
I want us to keep talking because I think that maybe...
I want us to keep talking because I think that maybe...
I want you to be happy. You deserve that.
I want you to be happy. You deserve that.
I was not a popular child.
I was not a popular child.
I will kick you out in five. John, I have to kick you out.
I will kick you out in five. John, I have to kick you out.
I will tell you. You got me?
I will tell you. You got me?
I will, sir, I promise.
I will, sir, I promise.
I wish I could thank for this great night.
I wish I could thank for this great night.
I wish I had just gotten a Teddy Ruxpin.
I wish I had just gotten a Teddy Ruxpin.
I wished for my life back.
I wished for my life back.
I wonder who it's going to hit first.
I wonder who it's going to hit first.
I would never, ever, ever say no to him.
I would never, ever, ever say no to him.
I would say that you made up some bullshit excuse
I would say that you made up some bullshit excuse
I'd chew it off to get you free.
I'd chew it off to get you free.
I'll be back in 30 minutes tops, okay?
I'll be back in 30 minutes tops, okay?
I'll be gone when you get back.
I'll be gone when you get back.
I'll help you get on your feet out there, I promise.
I'll help you get on your feet out there, I promise.
I'll just meet you upstairs then?
I'll just meet you upstairs then?
I'll pick you up at 8:00.
I'll pick you up at 8:00.
I'll tell you what I got. Your wife's pussy on my breath.
I'll tell you what I got. Your wife's pussy on my breath.
I'm 35 years old and I'm going nowhere.
I'm 35 years old and I'm going nowhere.
I'm a kook.
I'm a kook.
I'm alive, Johnny!
I'm alive, Johnny!
I'm alive. Your magical wish worked!
I'm alive. Your magical wish worked!
I'm always fascinated to meet Ted's girlfriends.
I'm always fascinated to meet Ted's girlfriends.
I'm an asshole, I know that.
I'm an asshole, I know that.
I'm coming.
I'm coming.
I'm fine, I'm fine,
I'm fine, I'm fine,
I'm going to have sex with your girlfriend.
I'm going to have sex with your girlfriend.
I'm going to name you Teddy.
I'm going to name you Teddy.
I'm going to rattle off some names
I'm going to rattle off some names
I'm going to show you something that I don't like to show people
I'm going to show you something that I don't like to show people
I'm gonna dock you for dinging the car
I'm gonna dock you for dinging the car
I'm guessing you're more of a "wooden horse with a wig" kind of family.
I'm guessing you're more of a "wooden horse with a wig" kind of family.
I'm just trying to find a way to keep you both in my life.
I'm just trying to find a way to keep you both in my life.
I'm like, "I'm out of here, man." I was gone before she woke up.
I'm like, "I'm out of here, man." I was gone before she woke up.
I'm never going to have a life with you around.
I'm never going to have a life with you around.
I'm not an "it," pal. I'm a "he," all right?
I'm not an "it," pal. I'm a "he," all right?
I'm not gay. I know.
I'm not gay. I know.
I'm not going to let you down, Goose.
I'm not going to let you down, Goose.
I'm not going to try to get you to take me back.
I'm not going to try to get you to take me back.
I'm not sure, it's...
I'm not sure, it's...
I'm promoting you.
I'm promoting you.
I'm really glad that you came.
I'm really glad that you came.
I'm rich, I'm good looking, my dad owns the company.
I'm rich, I'm good looking, my dad owns the company.
I'm serious, John. I went over to talk to her
I'm serious, John. I went over to talk to her
I'm so sorry, Johnny.
I'm so sorry, Johnny.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry to bother you
I'm sorry to bother you
I'm sorry, little guy, but my bear isn't for sale.
I'm sorry, little guy, but my bear isn't for sale.
I'm sorry, Mr. Bennett, I didn't mean to scare anybody.
I'm sorry, Mr. Bennett, I didn't mean to scare anybody.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm taking you to the best place in town.
I'm taking you to the best place in town.
I'm trying to walk a line, here.
I'm trying to walk a line, here.
I'm with Lori here. I'm already on probation.
I'm with Lori here. I'm already on probation.
I've been a really shitty boyfriend for the last four years.
I've been a really shitty boyfriend for the last four years.
I've been bumming around with Ted too much. I know that, too.
I've been bumming around with Ted too much. I know that, too.
I've been getting stoned too much. I know that.
I've been getting stoned too much. I know that.
If I get ****d, it'll be my fault for what I'm wearing.
If I get ****d, it'll be my fault for what I'm wearing.
If I had to make a guess
If I had to make a guess
If it's okay with you, I just want to say what I want to say.
If it's okay with you, I just want to say what I want to say.
If there's no "ski" at the end of the root word
If there's no "ski" at the end of the root word
If we were together, our babies would be spectacular.
If we were together, our babies would be spectacular.
If you can cover for me, I'm cool with all that other shit.
If you can cover for me, I'm cool with all that other shit.
If you can punch through this wall, you really are Flash Gordon.
If you can punch through this wall, you really are Flash Gordon.
If you keep blowing off work to get high with your teddy bear.
If you keep blowing off work to get high with your teddy bear.
If you keep wasting time with Ted.
If you keep wasting time with Ted.
If you think that by making shit like that up
If you think that by making shit like that up
If you thought I was fucking retarded.
If you thought I was fucking retarded.
If you want to make some sort of arrangement
If you want to make some sort of arrangement
In all the years you've worked here.
In all the years you've worked here.
In his own right.
In his own right.
In the audience who he loves very much.
In the audience who he loves very much.
In the corner, there is a shit!
In the corner, there is a shit!
Is he all mine, Daddy?
Is he all mine, Daddy?
Is it 9:30? Yeah.
Is it 9:30? Yeah.
Is it a hugging gun?
Is it a hugging gun?
Is it okay if I kick your boss's ass?
Is it okay if I kick your boss's ass?
Is that a Flash Gordon ray gun,
Is that a Flash Gordon ray gun,
Is that a shit?
Is that a shit?
Is that cannibalism?
Is that cannibalism?
Is that my ringtone?
Is that my ringtone?
Is that you go on a fun, casual date
Is that you go on a fun, casual date
Isn't love enough? I submit that love is enough.
Isn't love enough? I submit that love is enough.
It began in 1985, in a town just outside Boston.
It began in 1985, in a town just outside Boston.
It died.
It died.
It doesn't feel like four years, does it?
It doesn't feel like four years, does it?
It is an unbelievably impressive complement of weaponry,
It is an unbelievably impressive complement of weaponry,
It just seems kind of gay, doesn't it?
It just seems kind of gay, doesn't it?
It was a huge misunderstanding,
It was a huge misunderstanding,
It was actually really unfair of him to embarrass you like that.
It was actually really unfair of him to embarrass you like that.
It was Christmas Eve, and all the children were in high spirits.
It was Christmas Eve, and all the children were in high spirits.
It was pretty bad. I have cool moves.
It was pretty bad. I have cool moves.
It was you.
It was you.
It worked for me in high school,
It worked for me in high school,
It works out so much better for you
It works out so much better for you
It'll be great when it's furnished.
It'll be great when it's furnished.
It's a Christmas miracle.
It's a Christmas miracle.
It's a terrible idea. I mean, you got the economy.
It's a terrible idea. I mean, you got the economy.
It's all right, go, go, go. I'll pull out of here.
It's all right, go, go, go. I'll pull out of here.
It's almost Robert's play hour.
It's almost Robert's play hour.
It's an old sweater, huh?
It's an old sweater, huh?
It's called "Mind ****." It's actually pretty mellow.
It's called "Mind ****." It's actually pretty mellow.
It's easy.
It's easy.
It's going to be all right.
It's going to be all right.
It's got to happen.
It's got to happen.
It's just a bonus that he's the hottest guy in Boston.
It's just a bonus that he's the hottest guy in Boston.
It's okay, I'll drive you. I feel fine.
It's okay, I'll drive you. I feel fine.
It's playtime, right? We'll play a game.
It's playtime, right? We'll play a game.
It's so sharp, it's like an electric sword
It's so sharp, it's like an electric sword
It's that nothing is more powerful than a young boy's wish.
It's that nothing is more powerful than a young boy's wish.
It's unwatchable.
It's unwatchable.
It's working for me.
It's working for me.
Italian. Italian, yes.
Italian. Italian, yes.
Jesus Christ!
Jesus Christ!
Jesus Christ! What the fuck, man?
Jesus Christ! What the fuck, man?
Jesus fucking Christ!
Jesus fucking Christ!
Jesus H. Fuck!
Jesus H. Fuck!
Jesus, Guy, you look like shit, man. What happened?
Jesus, Guy, you look like shit, man. What happened?
Jesus, I look like the robot from Aliens.
Jesus, I look like the robot from Aliens.
Jesus, lam so sorry. I didn't see you. It was an accident.
Jesus, lam so sorry. I didn't see you. It was an accident.
Jesus, this is weak.
Jesus, this is weak.
Jesus, you look fantastic.
Jesus, you look fantastic.
Jesus!
Jesus!
Jesus! Lori was right.
Jesus! Lori was right.
John and Lori were married in Cambridge
John and Lori were married in Cambridge
John Bennett, Norah Jones.
John Bennett, Norah Jones.
John, all you got to do is not fuck up
John, all you got to do is not fuck up
John, five minutes and then I'll kick you out, I promise.
John, five minutes and then I'll kick you out, I promise.
John, get away from that thing. Get over here right now.
John, get away from that thing. Get over here right now.
John, I look like something you give your kid
John, I look like something you give your kid
John, I need a man. Not a little boy with a teddy bear.
John, I need a man. Not a little boy with a teddy bear.
John, I need you out of the apartment tonight.
John, I need you out of the apartment tonight.
John, it's almost 10:00.
John, it's almost 10:00.
John, it's me. Can you hear me?
John, it's me. Can you hear me?
John, look, don't you think after four years
John, look, don't you think after four years
John, wait. Listen.
John, wait. Listen.
JOHN: Jesus.
JOHN: Jesus.
JOHN: There he is. Pull over.
JOHN: There he is. Pull over.
JOHN: Who lives here? I'm coming to get whoever lives here.
JOHN: Who lives here? I'm coming to get whoever lives here.
JOHN: Yeah.
JOHN: Yeah.
John.
John.
JOHN'S MOM: Listen to your father! Come here!
JOHN'S MOM: Listen to your father! Come here!
Johnny, I'm frightened.
Johnny, I'm frightened.
Johnny, I'm...
Johnny, I'm...
Johnny, it's the truth, I'm telling you.
Johnny, it's the truth, I'm telling you.
Johnny, open the door, please, I want to talk.
Johnny, open the door, please, I want to talk.
Johnny, thank Christ you made it.
Johnny, thank Christ you made it.
Johnny.
Johnny.
Johnny. It's me.
Johnny. It's me.
Just a man with a man's courage
Just a man with a man's courage
Just because you're on the business world and shit you think, what,
Just because you're on the business world and shit you think, what,
Just come over. I got the Cheers DVD box set
Just come over. I got the Cheers DVD box set
Just grab your thunder buddy And say these magic words
Just grab your thunder buddy And say these magic words
Just like in the movie.
Just like in the movie.
Just tell him you don't feel well.
Just tell him you don't feel well.
Just to be clear, I'm not embarrassed.
Just to be clear, I'm not embarrassed.
Just to make your girlfriend happier...
Just to make your girlfriend happier...
Lauren, Charlene, Chantal, Courtney, Misty, Jenny, Krista,
Lauren, Charlene, Chantal, Courtney, Misty, Jenny, Krista,
Let him try it, man.
Let him try it, man.
Let me ask you something.
Let me ask you something.
Let them in. Right. Okay. Exactly. Good.
Let them in. Right. Okay. Exactly. Good.
Let's all be best friends.
Let's all be best friends.
Let's do some shots.
Let's do some shots.
Let's go get drunk and puke on cars from the overpass.
Let's go get drunk and puke on cars from the overpass.
Let's see how well you know these streets.
Let's see how well you know these streets.
Let's sing the thundersong. All right.
Let's sing the thundersong. All right.
Like one of those gay beat up clubs or something?
Like one of those gay beat up clubs or something?
Like what?
Like what?
Listen, I want you to meet a good pal of mine, all right?
Listen, I want you to meet a good pal of mine, all right?
Listen, if you're here to fight John's battles for him...
Listen, if you're here to fight John's battles for him...
Listen, John and I may have our problems, but at least he tried.
Listen, John and I may have our problems, but at least he tried.
Listen, John.
Listen, John.
Listen, speaking of classy,
Listen, speaking of classy,
Listen, why don't John and I go get a drink at the bar?
Listen, why don't John and I go get a drink at the bar?
Listen.
Listen.
Little John Bennett,
Little John Bennett,
Look at that one. WASP y, white guy fish.
Look at that one. WASP y, white guy fish.
Look at the hair on my upper lip. That's man hair.
Look at the hair on my upper lip. That's man hair.
Look at these pecs. These are man pecs.
Look at these pecs. These are man pecs.
Look at you guys. You guys look amazing.
Look at you guys. You guys look amazing.
Look what Jesus did! Look what Jesus did! Look what Jesus did!
Look what Jesus did! Look what Jesus did! Look what Jesus did!
Look,
Look,
Look, all I'm saying is that Boston women are, on the whole,
Look, all I'm saying is that Boston women are, on the whole,
Look, I was...
Look, I was...
Look, I'm going to cut the shit, here.
Look, I'm going to cut the shit, here.
Look, I'm sorry, I messed up...
Look, I'm sorry, I messed up...
Look, I'm trying to get my shit together
Look, I'm trying to get my shit together
Look, Johnny, if we're ever going to
Look, Johnny, if we're ever going to
Look, just let me talk first, all right?
Look, just let me talk first, all right?
Look, Lori, you want him to be a man.
Look, Lori, you want him to be a man.
Look, that was a tough night for all of us.
Look, that was a tough night for all of us.
Look, the point is, you're blaming me
Look, the point is, you're blaming me
Look, we're very interested in the bear.
Look, we're very interested in the bear.
Lori and I have been dating four years tomorrow.
Lori and I have been dating four years tomorrow.
Lori and I may just need a little space right now.
Lori and I may just need a little space right now.
Lori ever fart in front of you?
Lori ever fart in front of you?
Lori tried to break up a dog fight
Lori tried to break up a dog fight
Lori was right about you.
Lori was right about you.
Lori, get the stuffing. Get it all.
Lori, get the stuffing. Get it all.
Lori, hey, you're home early.
Lori, hey, you're home early.
Lori, how you doing? I haven't talked to you in forever.
Lori, how you doing? I haven't talked to you in forever.
Lori, I...
Lori, I...
Lori, I've wanted to give this to you for a long time.
Lori, I've wanted to give this to you for a long time.
Lori, look, he's been my best friend since I was eight.
Lori, look, he's been my best friend since I was eight.
Lori, the worst that can happen
Lori, the worst that can happen
Lori, this is Angelique, Heavenly, Cherene, and Sauvignon Blanc.
Lori, this is Angelique, Heavenly, Cherene, and Sauvignon Blanc.
Lori, wait, please.
Lori, wait, please.
Lori, what...
Lori, what...

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