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American Pie 2 (2001) American Pie 2 is a comedy film released in 2001, following the successful American Pie (1999). The

American Pie 2 (2001)

American Pie 2 is a comedy film released in 2001, following the successful American Pie (1999). The story revolves around a group of friends, including Jim (Jason Biggs), Stifler (Seann William Scott), and Michelle (Alyson Hannigan), who reunite for a wild summer at a beach house. The movie chronicles their hilarious and often awkward adventures as they navigate relationships, partying, and the trials of young adulthood. If you're a fan of this iconic franchise, you can relive the soundtracks and memorable moments by playing and downloading these sounds here.
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A bear came, and then the bear had to be destroyed...
A slight interest in Nadia then?
A sophisticated sex robot sent back through time...
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Actually, that is quite difficult.
Add another year to that.
Ah, yes, you would be referring to...
All right, all right. Come on, now. A little encouragement.
All right, enough.
All right, everybody having a good time? Ladies?
All right, here's a new idea for you, Stifler, okay?
All right, I?ve got a plan.
All right, let's go.
All right, look, man. I got my hand on my dick right now, okay...
All right, now it's your turn.
All right, Oz. Now that Kevin told us, what about you?
All right, Petey! Come on, now! Come on!
All right, you and Finch just stay out of each other's way.
All right!
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right. Here.
All right. Now is my chance.
All right. Well, always something with these kids. Go!
Am I gonna have a hangover? 'Cause I want one.
Amazing.
An old habit... a friend kiss.
And as much as I may really...
And be with Vicky, just like high school.
And good things will happen.
And he said, ''Now, you're a man.''
And I can't play anything at all. So I totally sucked.
And I didn't know what I was doing.
And I don't care if you did give me ten orgasms in a row...
And I don't think the four of us can afford this place.
And I don't... I don't wanna suck at it.
And I have gigantic balls!
And I haven't showered, and I wanna shower!
And I know how to make a girl jealous.
And I look ridiculous!
And I see it.
And I would know. Okay.
And I would love to see that show.
And I'm lying down.
And I'm not counting the hummer I got in the library stacks, baby.
And I'm rubbing it for you, Heather.
And I'm slowly...
And I'm trying to have sex with my girlfriend over the phone.
And it feels so good.
And obviously, Nadia won't expect you to hop in the sack.
And she was there with a date.
And that includes fucking me in the ass! So there!
And that rhymes with The Terminator...
And the Stifmeister's provided us some complimentary lubricant.
And then my social psych professor in Baskin Robbins.
And then we break up the day of the party.
And there's a young lady coming...
And things are...
And this stuff's for real?
And today I get to say the same thing to my son.
And Vicky got hot!
And we'll be able to prepare for Nadia's big arrival.
And you say...
And, well, it made me think.
Anything?
Anything.
Anytime.
Anyway, keep your chin up. You keep plugging...
Anyway, my point is...
Are you certain that you wish to engage in consenting...
Are you sure?
Ass, baby. Feel that ass!
Ass, baby. Feel that ass!
At least have a drink with the Stifmeister.
August '93.'' It's your brother, man. Look.
Back at Stifler's. It's just like old times.
Bad man. I'm a bad, bad man.
Beach party's in a week. Nadia's coming.
Because I am comfortable with my sexuality.
Because I am now impervious...
Because I have not been here the whole time.
Because I have not forgotten about you either, you sexy boy.
Because of the way I acted that night?
Because they're at a college party...
Because we've been having so much sex, and...
Because you know what?
Because you smell really bad.
Before you go to Ann Arbor to pick up Heather...
Best ever. it was legendary.
Big blue rubber dicks for everyone!
Both hands! Get the other hand up, God damn it!
Bravo!
Brilliant. You found lesbians.
Bumbling, nervous guy with her.
But come on, it's just sex.
But I didn't know what to think, so I just kept playing and playing...
But I have great memories.
But I'd really love it if you stayed here.
But if his pants...
But it's not like I see her making plans with anyone else.
But thanks for understanding.
But wasn't it fun even though you were so terrible?
But we are just so overjoyed...
But we just followed him in to get him out.
But we just started seeing each other a few weeks ago.
But you can't tell me a girl's ever really gone for it.
But you see, it's just that...
But you're...
But you're... you're early.
Bye bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Call me in two weeks. I'll be home then. We can finish lessons.
Call me Stifler's mom.
Call waiting.
Can I help you?
Can I help you?
Can't believe I'm going abroad for summer. Last thing I need is more classes.
Changed majors.
Check it out.
Check this out. This is it.
Chicago is beautiful, but it would be better if you were here.
Christy?
Cleaning my bathroom.
Come back here, you son of a bitch!
Come here, dude. You're making an ass out of yourself.
Come on and give your old man a hug.
Come on, baby. Give it to the Stifmeister.
Come on, guys. Let's hear it for Petey!
Come on, honey. You can do it.
Come on, man! I just wanna see some boobs.
Come on, man. I'm really happy to see you.
Come on, Ozzy.
Come on, Petey.
Come on, Petey.
Come on, Petey. You're doing great, partner.
Come on, you pussies! We had 'em!
Come on!
Come on.
Come on.
Come on. Come on!
Come on. Give the little guy some support.
Come on. I wanna hear all about it. We'll grab you a drink.
Come on. There's nothing to tell.
Cool idea.
Cops! Cops!
Could he have full use of his...
Danielle is feeling my breasts.
Danielle, Amber, hi.
Decide to come off during the party...
Deck the halls! Bye bye, Great Falls!
Did you miss high school?
Did you say lesbians?
Didn't Steven tell you that I was gonna drop by sometime?
Didn't you fuckers learn anything at college?
Dildo, dildo, dildo!
Do I seem uptight about my sexual stuff? No.
Do these high school kids think we're cool...
Do you know where I could find Michele Flaherty?
Do you now?
Do you wanna answer it anyway?
Do you want me to clean you?
Doctor, my son has a party in seven days...
Does direction matter, like clockwise, counter clockwise?
Does this stuff really make a difference?
Don't be a wimp.
Don't forget your penis cream.
Don't forget your penis cream.
Don't leave. No leaving.
Don't move! Stay where you are!
Don't send an ambulance.
Don't touch me while I'm tantric.
Don't worry about it. I mean, that's why we got the house, Jimbo.
Don't worry, okay? I'll be fine.
Don't you fuckin' say no. I know you did.
Drop the whole ''Sherminator'' thing.
Dude, give him a break.
Dude, no.
Dude, that's a great idea. That way we'll be able to welcome Heather back...
Dude, the line's too long. I'll never make it.
Dung beetles.
Easy! That's enough.
Efforts must be doubled.
Eight or nine...
Even if I did...
Even though you kind of did.
Eventually, you can sustain that feeling by meditating.
Everyone's supposed to be in the amphitheatre. All right, come on.
Everything in. Let's go. Pony up. Dog Years awaits.
Excuse him. Come here. Take this. You're on cop watch.
Excuse me, sir. Are you a family member?
Excuse me.
Feel like one giant orgasm.
Fellas, nice pad.
Fellas! How's it going?
Finch got a black eye and Stifler got six stitches.
Finch, fist yourself.
Finch, how are you?
Finch, stay the fuck away from that fiicus.
First summer back from college.
Folks, he's just a little nervous.
For a special girl, just like you.
For what?
Freak.
Friends can hold hands.
Friends, right?
Fuck yeah, I would.
Fuck, no! This is just too good to miss!
Fuckers, fuckers, fuckers. How you doin', boys?
Funky, weird, next morning goodbye?
Gee, wouldn't you like to know.
Gentlemen, this appears to be a party.
Gentlemen, why all the noise? Everybody knows this is my special day.
Gin.
Give me, like, three days.
Go downstairs and get us some beers?
Go get him.
Go out in the driveway. See any cops, call me, okay?
Go, Dad! Oh, my...
God!
Going with Pierre to the Parc Guell.
Good boys.
Good for you, Jim. Of course I will stay.
Good for you, man.
Good job, Doctor.
Good job. Have fun at your next class.
Good luck trying to break through that force field.
Good luck.
Good luck. Thanks.
Good view, but...
Good, Jim.
Good. Okay, now...
Got together...
Got your favourite. Oh, my God! They're fucking!
Grab it. Tell me how big it is.
Grab lunch, whatever.
Guaranteed hotties.
Guess what I had in mind?
Guests bring food. Food attracts animals. This one time...
Guests go in the amphitheatre. You can't be here.
Guys do that.
Guys, get the hell out of there right now.
Guys, I got it. Pack your bags.
Guys, this is what our party's gotta be.
Guys.
Hand jobs.
Hands where we can see 'em!
Hanging out at Sagrada Familia...
Happy painting, boys.
He did. And it was horrible.
He is special.
He's been waiting to get with.
He's got a girlfriend back in France, so we've kind of got something in common.
He's my bitch.
Heather, baby.
Hell of a time. We capped it all off with a massive blow out.
Hello?
Help me zip, please.
Help!
Her breasts are so luscious.
Here it is, the end of our freshman year and you screwed one girl.
Here they are. Got him home.
Here we go.
Here you go.
Here you go.
Hey, are you here for the mid session performance?
Hey, bro. Hey, man, you're the guy who boned Stifler's mom.
Hey, don't count your chickens, buster.
Hey, Finch, I don't wanna hear about you and your boyfriends.
Hey, fuckface.
Hey, Heather. You're in!
Hey, hey, hey. Come back here!
Hey, how you doing?
Hey, I remember you.
Hey, I'm confident.
Hey, Marco, can you get your balls off me?
Hey, Mr Levenstein. How are you, sir?
Hey, Oz, I'm reaching under my shirt and I'm rubbing myself.
Hey, Oz, I'm touching myself. What else do you want me to do?
Hey, Steve, look what I found.
Hey, Vicky only slept with one guy since we went out.
Hey, what's up? What are you guys talking about?
Hey, why don't you bring Nadia to the concert first?
Hey. Hello. Wrong number.
Hey. How'd you do?
Hey. Kevin Myers.
Hi. Sorry I was a dick before.
High likelihood of a sausage fest in progress.
Him.
Ho, ho, ho. Stifler Claus is here.
Holy shit!
Holy shit! There's a dildo in my drawer.
Holy shit. Really?
Honey, honey, listen. I'm gonna take her...
Honey, your speeches embarrass him.
Honey... I'll take her to the car.
How 'bout I give you a little champagne?
How about you, Jessica? How many chicks did you sleep with this year?
How could I forget?
How did you do that magic you did?
How did you get it so nice and warm?
How did you know I was here?
How sweet.
How?
How's the studying going?
How's this for a band camp story?
Howdy howdy, fuckin' partners!
I am a band geek.
I am getting off just listening to the two of you guys.
I am lucky lady?
I am the Sherminator.
I been missin' out.
I called a couple of weeks ago.
I can stay here until then?
I can taste the bubbles.
I can wear that little leopard bikini of mine.
I can't believe I finally got you alone.
I can't believe those two girls, Kevin.
I can't have a real future with...
I can't! I can't! I'm glued!
I could give you some pointers if you want.
I didn't ditch you. I just...
I didn't do this for you.
I didn't really think you were gonna be in Michigan this summer.
I didn't see it.
I do, I do.
I don't care if you are the best lay I've ever had in my life.
I don't know how I get myself into these things.
I don't know. Maybe.
I don't see her with a boyfriend. I think that puts me on deck.
I don't wanna be this awkward...
I don't wanna seem like a dork.
I get it, okay?
I get nasty when I'm horny.
I got some painting I should...
I got stuck playing this trombone.
I got to find a new goddess.
I gotta get some practice.
I guess I never took it.
I guess it slipped his mind.
I guess there's only one person that really knows for sure, huh?
I guess this is kind of a lost cause, huh?
I have all the time in the world.
I haven't even touched you yet, and you're turning into the Sears Tower.
I hope you're ready for me...
I just never joined the band.
I just wanna do something together.
I just wanted proof that you chicks are really lesbians.
I know it's not yours...
I know they've done wonderful things with that city, but, you know, for me...
I know what I have to do.
I know.
I know.
I know. You feel his ass first.
I left you like... like three messages after prom.
I mean, between this and...
I mean, did you want some...
I mean, girls like a guy with confidence.
I mean, look around, dude.
I mean, okay...
I mean, that like makes me 50% of her entire guy related life.
I mean, the party won't be ready until Saturday.
I might actually have a chance.
I might have to actually go through with this.
I miss you, Kev.
I need a drink.
I need confirmation.
I need to keep this party goin'.
I smell really bad!
I that a loofah, or are you just glad to see me?
I that so?
I think I bring new meaning to the word ''cool,'' honey.
I think I can fix these.
I think the whole glue thing might get her a little queasy.
I think we should keep your mother in the dark about the incident tonight.
I think you should stay and have fun at the party.
I think you were reaching for something.
I told you, we're just friends now. And he totally understands.
I used a condom.
I want you to know there are two people...
I was gonna pick you up at the airport in two hours.
I was the one doin' all the sacrificing'.
I will do anything... anything... to sleep with you chicks.
I wouldn't lie.
I'd hardly call it studying.
I'd tell your son to keep his pants on during that party.
I'll be right back.
I'll call you when I get in, okay?
I'll caress it, even. I'll shave some ass if they need it.
I'll get you a spoon so you can eat my ass.
I'll take it from here, okay?
I'll tell you something. I'm about fed up with these Tall Oaks North kids.
I'll walk.
I'm a very special boy.
I'm all alone.
I'm coming to see you at the end of summer.
I'm counting the days. Love, Nadia.''
I'm disappointed in you.
I'm filling up to the brim.
I'm fine.
I'm fine. Everything's fine.
I'm glued!
I'm going over to my bed.
I'm gonna be right back. Is that okay?
I'm gonna do something to push your threshold.
I'm Jim's dad.
I'm like Cupid.
I'm never even gonna think about political science again.
I'm ready.
I'm so glad you came. You want something to drink or...
I'm sorry I didn't get her name, but hopefully my son did...
I'm sorry?
I'm sorry. I was... It was just...
I'm sorry. Yeah, nonsexual.
I'm takin' one for the team.
I'm touching his ass. I'm touching his ass.
I'm touching his ass. I'm touching his ass.
I'm turning off my radio now.
I'm used to girls ignoring me.
I've been going to the Picasso museum...
I've been running these numbers here...
I've been saving this for a special occasion...
If a guy tells you how many girls he's been with, it's not even close to that.
If I didn't have to hold my dick 'cause I gotta piss, I would shake your hand.
In anticipation of an ultimate moment...
In fact...
In wanting to be your friend.
Incredible. How does Finch get so lucky?
Is rump roast.
Is that the one? No.
Isn't this great?
It doesn't exactly give you the ultra cool hipster image.
It happens to the best of us.
It means ''hello.'' Hello.
It takes years to develop true Stifmeister style.
It was brought up at a PTA meeting.
It was so funny!
It wouldn't be anything more than just a momentary thing.
It's a Buddhist discipline.
It's a perfectly normal thing for two human beings to do.
It's all right. You don't have to say anything.
It's beautiful!
It's been around for centuries.
It's exactly like old times.
It's gonna be nice to hit Stifler's tonight after exams.
It's gonna take patience, but I've been celibate all summer.
It's good to be home, Dad.
It's gotta happen now. Get my back.
It's just my flatmates.
It's just that...
It's just, I'm not gonna be ready...
It's like a hummingbird feeder.
It's like you know all our stories.
It's not like I wanted you to pretend you were in love with me or something.
It's okay, man. My name's Brett.
It's piss poor to be this late. I'm very angry right now.
It's Stifler time, baby!
It's the Stifmeister, baby.
It's true. I'll kiss everybody here. Dudes, chicks, everybody.
Jenny, where'd you put my clarinet?
Jessica's here.
Jim, can't you leave your shirt on? You're scaring the chicks away.
Jim, come on.
Jim, I got so tired of sightseeing.
Jim, I have told you my memories from high school.
Jim, it's not a big deal.
Jim, relax.
Jim, this happens to the best of us.
Jim, this isn't exactly a turn on.
Jim, what are you doing here?
Jim, you've had experience since Nadia.
Jim. Holy potatoes!
Jim...
Johnny C., how's it going? Good to see you.
Johnny West is missing.
Just blow on it, kid. All right.
Just needed the paper, huh?
Just thought I'd say goodbye to you animals.
Just wandered down the beach.
Just watching the game, Kev.
Keep it real, homies.
Kev, you can look.
Kevin left?
Kevin left. Didn't look good.
Kevin, Stifler's stench is unavoidable.
Kids, entertain yourselves. Play along with Petey.
Kiss me, here.
Kiss.
Later.
Left foot first. Easy does it. Good.
Lesbians live here.
Lesbians?
Lesbians.
Let me guess. A bear came.
Let's do it.
Let's go! Let's go!
Let's go.
Let's just get started.
Like it matters.
Like the movie. How clever.
Listen, Heather, I'm feeling kind of awkward.
Little brother, meet Shitbreak.
Little chilly out there.
Loo, I need your help.
Look at her.
Look at the Stifmeister. I got laid 23 times this year...
Look at this. Your old best friend.
Look at you. You stud.
Look what I found, Christy.
Look, I know your last name is Sherman, right?
Look, is there anything, you know, around the house?
Look, Kev, different does not necessarily mean worse.
Look, we'll... we'll just do this, okay?
Look, you don't have to do this.
Looks like someone gained the freshman 15.
Lt's just what happens, you now.
Made quite the handsome couple on the Internet.
Make it real. You do that...
Man, this sucks.
Mary, would I do that?
Mastodons.
Maybe I am a geek.
Maybe I was being selfish...
Maybe it's just not gonna work.
Maybe you can help me out, you know.
Maybe you kicked it under the bed.
Michele, why did you ditch me after prom?
Michele, you have been great.
Missed you too.
Mommy!
Moped?
Mother of God!
Much better.
Multiply it by three and that's the real number.
My brother said that by the end of the summer I'd see the big picture.
My lady has arrived.
My lady's not coming.
My name is Petey!
My nipples are so hard.
My romantic life has passed its peak.
My roommate's already moved out. We'll be all alone.
Nadia called me this morning.
Nadia is gonna be expecting filet mignon.
Nadia...
Nadia's coming back and I don't...
Natalie, get dressed!
Natalie!
Never mind. I'm staying.
New York. Hello. Yes, dear, he's right here.
No fuckin' way!
No judgment.
No matter what, times change and things are different.
No strings attached, okay? it's just friendly goodbye sex.
No way, dude!
No way.
No way. We're definitely not those guys.
No, don't come in here. I'm fine. I just fell out of the bed.
No, Finch, it's not the hot dogs.
No, I was just saying that so you could practise.
No, I went to say hi to Vicky...
No, keep going. Flank pattern.
No, man, Stifler's got shut down.
No, man. These work on a CB frequency.
No, no, no, Petey. Here we go.
No, no, no.
No, no, that's all wrong.
No, no!
No, not ''good thing.'' Not ''killer.''
No, you dingbat.
No.
No. Don't... Don't leave.
No. I... Absolutely not.
No. Stifler wanted one from us.
Not now! Come back later. Go!
Not unless Stifler's mom drives a moped.
Now I remember.
Now, just so there's no confusion...
Now, wait just a minute.
Now, you may be intoxicated.
Of course.
Oh, Finchy, I missed you.
Oh, fuck!
Oh, good.
Oh, hey. Yeah, I'm fine.
Oh, I do. Yeah. No, I definitely do.
Oh, Jeanine. Jeanine.
Oh, man.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, no, sir. These are all wrong for you. I mean, seriously.
Oh, no.
Oh, shit, balls!
Oh, shit!
Oh, shit!
Oh, shoot!
Oh, that's cold! What are you doing?
Oh, that's great!
Oh, very colourful. My dick looks like a paint by numbers.
Oh, yeah, Heather. I'm rubbing it and it feels so good.
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah? Where is she this summer?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. You heard me.
Oh, yes. Believe me, I will be doing that. It goes without saying.
Okay, and all I'm gonna be able to give her...
Okay, bye.
Okay, dude.
Okay, go.
Okay, guys, we went through this last summer, all right?
Okay, here we go. Moment of truth.
Okay, I think you've just crossed my threshold.
Okay, Jim, this is what I'm talking about.
Okay, no, no, no. This isn't right.
Okay, now...
Okay, sir, you're just gonna have to wait here. All right?
Okay, Stifler, take your shot. Ha, ha.
Okay, stop by in a couple of weeks. We're having a big party.
Okay, then. I'll meet you out front.
Okay, well...
Okay? I'll grab every guy's ass in this room.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay. How about I come back with you...
Okay. It's okay.
Okay. Nice to know you.
Okay. Now, don't freak out.
Okay. Where should I touch Amber?
One difference. We're college men now.
One finger on the cheek.
One more stimulant, I would have had full release.
One time at this party, I was drinking champagne...
One, two, three, four.
One, two...
One.
Or am I gonna have to drag your ass back to that party and prove it to you?
Or are we those weird older guys...
Or Jimbodinny to these guys in here, but...
Or making fun of me.
Ostreicher, Myers.
Other than a very kinky, extremely warped one.
Our date was over.
Our next soloist will be Michele Flaherty.
Oz, come on. It's phone sex. Help me out here.
Ozzy, go deep.
Ozzy, stand by for confirmation.
Paint thinner.
Palm grasping.
Party on!
Penis?
Petey! Well, that explains everything.
Petey?
Pin my leg up, like this.
Play! Do something.
Play! Do something.
Please don't take this the wrong way...
Please repeat previous statement.
Plenty of opportunities to practise for Nadia.
Potential lesbians leaving the building.
Preparing to deploy beer.
Pussy, man. I'm here for the pussy.
Put your party hat on.
Reaching downstairs.
Really regret what I'm about to do...
Really?
Really?
Really?
Red Leader, what's your position?
Right there. That was a pure tantric moment.
Right, right. Okay.
Right. and don't ride the subway after midnight.
Rock and roll!
Rule of three, Oz.
See what they are today, dude. See what they are today.
See you guys later.
See, I knew it. I knew you'd be mature about this.
Seems like just yesterday my dad picked me up after my first year at college.
She didn't sleep with one guy. She slept with at least three.
She just loves my nipples.
She just sells her cottage and takes off to parts unknown.
She's coming here at the end of the summer and she wants to see me.
She's coming.
She's here.
Shit, dude! I found a dildo!
Shit! Guys, they're back.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit. Hello?
Shit. She's de pantsing.
Shoot. Okay, wait here. I'll meet you in an hour, okay?
Shut the fuck up or I'll break down this door and pummel your ass!
Silence.
Since he made me realize there's an abundance of wiener here.
Since my first time.
Since when do you start listening to the Sherminator?
So if I'm not up to par, performance wise...
So my entire stockpile is wasted...
So she's 50,000 times hotter than most girls...
So what was this year like for you?
So, are we gonna do this every summer?
So, are you alone too?
So, don't you go being all super sexy guy any more...
So, I invited someone else.
So, if Kevin's saying it's been three girls, it's more like one, or none.
So, try and do what the kids say, and just be cool.
So, Vicky?
Some of these girls are from the grade below us.
Someday I will find mine.
Son, everybody does it. Your mother and I... Well, not so much any more.
Son, I'm not embarrassed.
Sorry about that. Where were we?
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sounds like your little friends outside wanna play too.
Special, my ass.
Spend your life playing in the band...
Splat. ''Oh, wait, Nadia, don't go.'' Splat.
Stall 'em!
Stand up.
Stand up.
Steve, this cop watch thing is horseshit.
Stifler wanted to give you two hand jobs?
Stifler, if you're gonna be living with us, you gotta behave yourself.
Stifler. Hey, man, what are you doing?
Stifler's mom is a goddess.
Stifler's mom is coming here.
Stifler's mom.
Stifler's mom's room.
Stifmeister's palace of love...
Stifmeister's palace of love...
Stop it.
Straight love.
Super Glued myself...
Super start to a super summer, fellas. Welcome home.
Sure. Well, we're friends.
Surprising, yes.
Sweet Jesus.
System overload. Hasta la vista, Jessica.
Take a number.
Take me out to the pasture and shoot me.
Take that number and divide it by three. Then you get the real total.
Tantra teaches you to hold an orgasm over time...
Tantra.
Thank you, Doctor.
Thank you, Matt. I'm just here to surprise my son Jim.
Thank you, Tall Oaks. You're beautiful.
Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you.
Thank you. Have a nice day.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thanks, Dad.
Thanks, dude.
That is what I'm talking about.
That only took, what, six weeks?
That really wasn't bad.
That was it.
That was... Someone was lost.
That's a big 10 4 on the confirmation.
That's a jizz free fiicus.
That's fucking disgusting! I'm gonna throw up.
That's good news.
That's good.
That's great.
That's great... That's my nipples!
That's it.
That's it. Bathe the Stifmeister.
That's my date.
That's my date.
That's nice.
That's not fair!
That's right, baby. We're here.
That's right, Nadia.
That's too much. No, no, no.
The biggest pointer I could give you is...
The collarbone... kiss.
The fiicus, the water... it was all erotic.
The first time your mother and I...
The flute fetish band geek that made me her bitch, then ditched me after prom.
The Force is strong in that one.
The girls are coming. I made some calls.
The one that got away, huh, son?
The problem is, I don't want them to be.
The Sherminator detects serious heat at a distance of two metres.
The Sherminator's got a point, Kev.
The swelling should subside in about eight or nine days.
There he is. Morning, Jimbo. How's the twig and giggleberries, man?
There!
There's a whole world out there. I can't be obsessed with one woman.
There's little hearts on her panties! Come on, look, you pussy. Look.
There's somebody else I want to be with.
These little sexual debacles should not get you down...
They toyed with my emotions.
They're coming back.
They're getting naked.
Think about it. Sherman!
This girl is so hot.
This has been a good news day, son. Here. Put this on.
This is fantastic. I'm very excited.
This is gonna be fun.
This is good. This is good. Obviously.
This is human nature... human nature at its best.
This is it. This is my summer of love.
This is John... Smith.
This is kind of kinky, and I like that.
This is not gonna fit. Look at you and look at me.
This isn't right.
This just won't do.
This kid had these cookies...
This kid is killing me.
This party was crazy! Look at my date! He's passed out!
This should shave a couple of days off.
This thing is like half alcohol. You're just trying to get me drunk.
Three.
Three.
Throw a huge party at the end of the summer to cap it all off.
To change the future for one lucky lady.
To have someone with your kind of talent here.
To myself.
To release it upon the world.
To your unrelenting machismo and sexual ardour.
Turn over.
Two possible lesbians in their bras and panties.
Very horrible.
Very uninteresting.
Vic, hey, you guys are leaving?
Vic, why wouldn't I wanna be friends with you?
Vicki. Hey.
Wait a minute. Are you Petey?
Wait a second.
Wait a second.
Wait a second. You were trying?
Wait, was that who I think...
Wait. Didn't you have it when we were downstairs?
Wait. They can't hear us inside? We won't cross over their radio?
Wanna feel Finch's ass?
Wanna tell us what's up?
Wanted to understand the things she was moaning.
Was that a question?
We are just, how do you say, tooting our horns.
We can't party anywhere any more.
We had something special.
We just did something together. Very together.
We plop a keg on the deck and the girls come in off the beach.
We popped a couple of beers...
We treated every day out there lie it was a post prom party.
We want...
We'll be back. Come on now, baby.
We'll do anything you want.
We'll get used to it.
We'll see how things go.
We're gonna be the shit. Everybody on the beach is gonna know us.
We're gonna get more physical as soon as we get some...
We're moving to the lake.
We're not supposed to have visitors...
We've never even had friendly hello sex.
Weird, no.
Weird.
Welcome back.
Well, evidently you two...
Well, here we are.
Well, I know that feeling.
Well, I thought you had said...
Well, I wish you were here, Nadia.
Well, Michele has confirmed it.
Well, not my first. It's my first time...
Well, she referred to it as ''shrink wrapping.''
Well, there was this one guy. How 'bout you?
Well, this one time at band camp...
Well, we're gonna try.
Whack away, Jim.
What a coincidence.
What a dumb ass. The lake's right there.
What a wonderful Christmas gift you bought the boys.
What are you doing here?
What are you doing?
What are you worried about? You got a girlfriend now.
What are yours?
What do you mean?
What the fuck are you doin' in here?
What the fuck, man? Come on!
What the fuck?
What the hell.
What the hell.
What was he doing wandering unsupervised?
What? Bullshit.
What? I wasn't trying!
What? Tell me.
What's the big deal with Nadia, anyway?
Whatever you are, Jim, it is what I like.
Whatever.
When a girl tells you how many guys she slept with...
When you can do that, you can have sex for hours, even days.
When you travel as much as I do, you get used to moving on.
Where are the fuckin' females?
Where are you goin', man? What about Dog Years?
Where's Steve Stifler?
Where's Steve Stifler?
Where's your tongue?
Which means they shot it in the head with a rifle and killed it and it died.
Which was a big hit movie ten years ago.
Who knows?
Who still remember where James Emanuel Levenstein came from.
Who the fuck was in that car?
Who the hell was that?
Who wants me to touch Amber?
Who's in my room. Now. Holy shit.
Whoa! Whoa, hey.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Why is everybody taking a piss right now?
Why would I pretend that?
Will you idiots tell me what this fucker's doin'?
Wipe my ass and lick my balls!
With tantra you can make an entire session of sex...
With Vicky.
Wow.
Wow. You know, you have beautiful eyes.
Wow.Jeez.
Wrong number.
Yeah, all right. Bye. I love you.
Yeah, baby, we're here!
Yeah, his cottage was right down on the beach.
Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do.
Yeah, I feel bad for saying that you sucked...
Yeah, I kind of...
Yeah, I like that. That's good.
Yeah, I've overheard them on the phone at night.
Yeah, it'll be fun.
Yeah, right. I mean, I know you said friends and I... I just...
Yeah, right. Right, right, right, right.
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, you're more than welcome to be here.
Yeah.
Yep, things are gonna get weirder.
Yes, I am sure to go see the Lion King.
Yes, that's great experience.
Yes, we can.
Yes! Yes, you are!
You ass. Stifler, get out.
You big, stupid dummy!
You can go.
You can tell by the tone of my voice I'm angry. I'm pissed off.
You can't just stand out here.
You could have asked me if you wanted to borrow it.
You didn't think I was weird...
You dipshit.
You do him. We love to watch.
You don't bother counting how many times you have sex with each other.
You don't just go groping away.
You don't touch, we don't touch.
You find a girl. You two become best friends.
You go get your geek.
You gotta get out of there. They're inside.
You gotta preheat the oven before you stick in the turkey.
You guys like that?
You have not changed.
You have not forgotten about me, have you?
You have to feel comfortable in any situation.
You haven't had the slightest bit of attraction to any girl at school?
You hooked up with three girls this year. You're doing fine.
You just gotta find the right girl, Jimbo.
You just own this and break a leg.
You know, and we could still be friends, right?
You know, if you want to hang out with these guys.
You know, Jim...
You know, Kevin, I haven't moved on either.
You know, Mr Homophobic Wizard...
You know, there was a few girls...
You know, there's only one word for that party.
You know, they warn us about these situations in college.
You know, we barely had a chance to hang out, you know, catch up.
You know, we made a toast to the next step.
You know, we're just trading war stories about college...
You know, you have beautiful eyes.
You know, you may be Jimbo or Jumbo...
You know...
You must be the parents of this young lady.
You must know Michele.
You must teach me. How?
You okay, Kev?
You ready to break up?
You remember that day after prom?
You remember, was I any good that night?
You saved them all.
You saw the thing on the Internet.
You see, this is actually my first time.
You stupid fuck!
You sucked. You didn't know what the hell you were doing.
You touch me, I bite.
You truly are a Stifmeister.
You wanna mess with 'em?
You want the band geek?
You won't be needing this.
You.
You're a disgrace to men everywhere.
You're all right. Here we go. You know you're not supposed to be here now.
You're everything that I used to want.
You're here now? No, that's cool.
You're here? You're here. What are you doing here?
You're making me wet.
You're really here?
You're ruining my mojo. And you're not the Stifmeister, okay?
You're that guy who blew his load on the Internet.
You're the only guy I know whose dick needs an instruction manual.
You've been really cool.
You've got to control yourself and think of something nonsexual.
Your main problem is you're so uptight.
Your turn.
'Night. We'll see you in the morning.
All right. That's fair.
all right. The door is locked.
And the Guggenheim with Francesca. The Guggenheim?
Are you wearing a dress? Shitbreak, meet my little brother.
Beer? Avert your eyes! Turn around!
Best summer ever, huh, fellas? Absolutely.
Bitchin'. Out of control.
Bye, Kev. See ya, Jess.
Can you give us a sec? Sure.
Can't bring alcohol in the dorms. Good.
Chairs. Good.
Clamp it off. Hello.
Dad, get out! I'll wait in the car.
Did I show you my cute pink shoes? Does it match your pink bikini?
Did that exam blow or what? Yeah, it sucked.
Did you get through 'em? There's the mystery man!
Everybody okay? I'm fine.
Finch, what happened to Latin? Met a Japanese girl at the art museum.
Fine. Yeah?
Forget it. Like you have a chance.
From the lighthouse all the way... Hey, handsome.
Fuck me, geek! Affirmative!
Fuck no! You were trying!
Getting weird? Yeah, a little bit.
Gilligan's island, Mr Howell. What?
Go jerk off. Unnecessary.
Good bye. See ya.
Good for them. It's awesome.
Hand jobs. Okay!
Have you been dirty? Oh, yes, baby. I?ve been dirty.
Hell, yeah, we are. Of course we are, gentlemen.
Hello. Hello. See? There's other girls.
Here we go. Let's do it.
Here. Wait. Now remember...
Hey, Pop Tart. Dream on, midget.
Hey, Stifler, was that... Eat shit, Shitbreak.
Hey, Vic, how are you? What's up?
Hey, Vic, you wanna play? Yeah, sure. You wanna break?
Hey, you are a god. Holy shit, dude.
Hi. Hey, there.
Honey, come on. Food's ready. I'm not hungry!
How about you? That's Stifler's mom.
How about you? That's Stifler's mom.
How are you? Awesome.
How are you? I'm really good.
How are you? You got nothing to worry about, man.
How was college? College was excellent.
How you doin', son? I've been better.
I am not touching that. Put that thing away, Stifler.
I can't wait. I can't wait either.
I definitely didn't. Good, because guess what.
I gotta go. What? Why?
I gotta prepare. Here we go.
I hate your guts anyway. Don't say that.
I have a girlfriend now. Yeah, you do.
I kissed Jim! Silence!
I love you. Come on you, guys. I was almost there!
I think I shoved it in your box. Thanks.
I think it was. I think so too.
I think you better... Your loss.
I think you're pretty cool. Seriously?
I wanna go home. That's too bad.
I wanna talk to you! You are so sweet.
I want more. Hell, yeah. I want more too, baby.
I will leave. No!
I'm gonna get a drink. She's right.
I'm honoured, guys. Don't leave.
I'm in a lesbian stronghold. Was it in here?
I'm just playing by the rules, baby. I make the rules.
I'm just playing by the rules, baby. I make the rules.
I'm okay. Yeah, I'm good.
I'm so sorry. For your own edification...
I'm sorry. ''Terrible?'' I've had worse.
I'm sure he understands quite well. He does.
It's a palace. It's a temple.
It's clear! Go, go, go!
It's good to hear. Yeah, you too.
Jeez! Was that your dad?
Jesus Christ! Come back here, you little fucker!
Jesus Christ. Oh, shit.
Jesus! Jim, we got here a little early.
Just can't be. I'm glad you're learning, Finchy.
Just relax. You get out of my house!
Keep going. We should try this another time.
Kev, what's up, man? How are you? Good.
Kevin did not sleep with three girls. Why would he lie to me?
Kevin. What?
Ladies, I am down with the funky shit. Like what?
Ladies. Yes?
Lesbians? We never said that.
Let's get naked. Okay.
Let's go find your room. So, where are the fuckin' females?
Let's go to our page. We have to write about this party.
Let's go. Thanks, man.
Line's too long. I ain't gonna make it. You'll be okay. Relax.
Look. Stifler did break in here. You dick!
Lookin' for the lake. Yeah, all turned around.
Maybe I should mop that up. Thanks.
Maybe you can teach me sometime? Very doubtful.
Maybe. Was it or was it not here?
Mornin', dude. Come on, Ozzy. It's show time.
My God, it's the painting kids. I'm still calling the cops.
Nadia! Nadia! What?
Nice talking with you, Steven. Stifler, man!
No 9 11 . Don't call the police.
No. Yeah!
None? Rule of three.
Not on summer jobs. Well, I kinda thought of that.
Now pin my leg up. What?
Now, I'm a hot girl. Right.
Now, this is a fucked up situation. What happened to preheating?
Oh, God. It was worth it.
Oh, my God. I spilled some on you.
Oh, my God. You still broken?
Oh, yeah! Really?
Oh. Thanks. You're welcome.
Okay, Jim, relax. Relax. Okay, yeah, sure.
Okay, what do you wanna do? I wanna feel your boobs.
Okay. Nadia...
Pathetic. Loser.
Please just go! Actually, if you wouldn't mind.
Poison control. Hello?
She's my girlfriend. All right, Jimbo.
She's on the phone. It's long distance. Who?
Shit. Jim, you can eat hot dogs tomorrow.
So do you not wanna do this? Oh, no, no, no.
So what does he mean, ''meet up''? You know, like hang out...
Something we'll always remember. Yes, definitely.
Sorry things didn't work out for you. You kiddin'? Things are great.
Squeeze his ass, son. You'll like it. Come on, boys.
Stifler's mom. Hey, Finchy.
Sure you don't wanna go to my room? No. Why?
Take it slow. Come on. Right.
Thanks, Jim. Don't believe in locks? Oh, my God!
That didn't look too good. No.
That doesn't even count. That totally counted.
That's a sweet car. It is sweet.
That's how you kiss your mother. Don't you say anything!
That's killer. Yeah, that's a good thing.
That's Stifler's little brother. What are you doing here?
That's your brother? Yes.
The people demand rubber dicks! Finch, help.
The rule of what? Three.
There he is. A night not soon to be forgotten.
There's little hearts on her panties! Super.
This'll help. You're an asshole.
Too big. I'll get you the blue stringy number.
Took the bus. Coffee.
True. Come on, Jim.
Very good. Dude, you're a fucking lousy kisser.
Very original, Steven. Don't call me Steven.
Wanna dance? Yeah.
Wanna fuck? Are you serious?
Watch your head. All right. Take a seat.
We got 12 weeks of immortality ahead. Yes, sir!
We're skipping a few chapters. Oh, okay.
Welcome back to the party. Steve, those are my lesbians.
What are you doin'? Fishin'.
What are you doing this weekend? I can get together.
What are you doing? Looking for more lesbian artefacts.
What are you talkin' about? Well, times change, people change.
What is it? A guest book? Yeah, and look at this entry.
What is that? Is that a fuckin' dress?
What the hell was that? I don't know. Call 9 11 .
What the hell's going on over there? Nothing.
What? I'm comfortable with my sexuality.
What? We never said that.
Where'd you get this? Finch's ass.
Where's my big guy? Oh, my God!
Where's my big guy? Oh, my God!
Where's Shitbreak? The movies.
Which room? I can't remember. I was too excited.
Who the hell is that? Who's this?
Who's Pierre? One of the guys in the programme.
Why is this so weird? Actually, I have no idea.
Why you asking me so many questions? Was it in here?
Wow, can we go in there? The lighthouse?
Yeah, bro. You playing? No.
Yeah, I guess so. See ya this weekend?
Yeah, Jim, I see her. Hey, Kevin.
Yeah, me too. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you did. Kinda weird without the phone, huh?
Yeah. Wait.
Yep. Good.
You better like it. Promise.
You can't possibly be that bad. Oh, no?
You drank him under the table. He couldn't hack it.
You go fish. Finch, we're playing gin.
You go. We go.
You got laid in an art museum? The Met.
You kinda get used to it, though, huh? Are you insane?
You laugh at the people who do count. Here's a new idea for you.
You okay? I'm so sorry. Is everybody okay?
You sure? Okay, good night, then.
You think so? I know so.
You two relax and shake hands. Shake this.
You want a beer? Yeah, all right.
You want to get it on? You better clear your schedule.
You're evil. No way!
You're gonna have a great time. Hello, summer!
You're gonna love it. Do it for us.
You're so sweet. That's what they say.
''Apply a few drops to achieve desired lubrication.''
''Best thing was the blow out at Tom Myers' place.
''Come on, Sherman. Be the Sherminator.''
''Dear Jim.
''Efforts must be doubled.''
''Hello, this is Michele, my girlfriend.''
''Tantric?'' What the fuck is tantric?
'Cause he fuckin' bit me!
'cause this one time, here...
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