Spy Kids (2001) Edit

A compendium of spy knowledge, if you will.

A cry for help.

A hardened and experienced secret agent.

A little more impressive.

A mysterious and compelling mission in its own right.

A synthetic intelligence as smart as any spy.

A thousand deadly missions...

A window of opportunity that's closing fast!

Aah !

Aah !

Aah ! Sweetheart!

According to the database, you're always traveling...

After all, they were on different sides...

After nine years, you are accepting an assignment?

Again? Honey, it's old.

Agent Cortez.

Ah, ah, ah ! Don't you want to see your parents...

Ah, but it sees you.

Ah, Cortezes.

Aha. Hope you're wearing one now.

Alexander Minion.

All in different countries...

All right, all right.

All these secrets from me, from the children.

All thumbs. Useless.

All you little boys and girls

ALL: Intruder, intruder, intruder, intruder...

Always in danger

Always wanted to do this.

An almost exact replica.

An emergency assignment has come up in the Far East.

An enormous amount of turmoil between countries.

An hour ago I was not a prisoner of war.

And all we can do is think about the children.

And all your make believe friends?

And burying himself into that demented kids show.

And do exactly as I say.

And get out of here?

And here you are.

And hope that their missions have not been programmed.

And I think it's our fault.

And if we don't do something to help...

And if you're not?

And it made her realize...

And Juni? Heh heh !

And just in time for the holiday rush.

And lay your entire silly empire to waste!

And make no mistake

And no one knows what you do for a living.

And now the robots have learned that as well.

And said the two most dangerous...

And some mean nasty people

And some mean, nasty people

And that cute, little tuneless song...

And that's the mission worth fighting for.

And the green button to go.

And the selfish, mean, nasty people

And they decided that, together...

And they fell in love...

And they're better off. The end.

And this is what Carmen would look like as a Fooglie.

And those school friends Juni talks about having?

And through their work...

And we didn't do one thing right.

And why are they so good at being good?

And wrong as right. Come on.

And you, Floop, have served your purpose.

And you, Gregorio and Ingrid Cortez.

And, therefore, need to be evaluated.

ANNOUNCER: Hey, kids, it's time for...

Anything we tell them goes in one ear and out the other!

Are gonna save the world

Are the only agents I know of that never had a weakness...

Are you blaming me for this?

Are you sure?

As a bird on a big TV

Ay yi... yi... yi.

Bad hair day.

Because it's cool. Why?

Because that's all you ever do.

Because we're in charge

Bedtime story first.

Before he disappeared.

Blue to close, green to go. Quick!

Brilliant, brave soldiers...

Brilliant.

Bring her back!

But because you were pure of heart and of mind.

But I can think straight enough to figure it out.

But I can't figure it out.

But I didn't want any of that.

But I might be able to change him back.

But if you follow me you can all be free

But it's not that simple.

But not to worry.

But not your daughter...

But something's gone wrong.

But that's not what family is.

But there's a way you can make your day

But there's a way you can make your day

But to all the robot children.

But together, they made tempting targets.

But we have children now.

But what you taught me.

But when she saw him...

But when the moment finally came...

But who's gonna help us?

Butterfingers.

Can I help you with something, macho?

Can I offer some sort of truce in exchange for your daughter?

Careful.

Carmen !

Carmen ! She's working for Floop!

Carmen and Juni.

Carmen asked for the story.

Carmen Cortez.

Carmen Elizabeth Juanita Costa Brava Cortez.

Carmen Elizabeth Juanita Costa Brava Cortez.

Carmen, hundred center left.

Carmen, isn't it?

Carmen, Juni, time for bed.

CARMEN: Aah !

CARMEN: Autopilot...failing?

CARMEN: Boys, can we please stop fighting?

CARMEN: But the dungeon's on the other side of the castle.

CARMEN: But you sell them to both sides, good and bad.

CARMEN: Dad's code name must be Hombre.

CARMEN: Destroy the brain !

CARMEN: Get a grip, you big baby!

CARMEN: Go ahead. You got nothin' on me, warthog.

CARMEN: Hurry up! He's coming ! He's coming !

CARMEN: I don't think he said.

CARMEN: It was programmed to take us to the safe house.

CARMEN: It's your butterfingers that are slipping.

CARMEN: Nope. We're gonna drop.

CARMEN: Now we're talkin'.

CARMEN: Oh, now you've done it!

CARMEN: Oh, that's so cool.

CARMEN: Oh, yeah.

CARMEN: OK, so here's the new plan.

CARMEN: Our Mom and Dad

CARMEN: Thanks for the plane!

CARMEN: That's the computer screen.

CARMEN: We're gonna be fine. Just be cool...

CARMEN: What are those things?

CARMEN: What?

CARMEN: What?

CARMEN: What's this, a self portrait?

CARMEN: Why is that?

CARMEN: Wow!

CARMEN: Wow.

CARMEN: Yep.

CARMEN: You did that on purpose, you kamikaze!

CARMEN: You mean these mutants are captured secret agents?

CARMEN: You were supposed to read all the instructions!

Carmen? Juni?

Carmen's been skipping school twice a month.

Carmenita and Junito.

Caused their minds to turn to mush.

Certainly.

Check it out.

Children !

Children...

Clever boy you've got there, Cortez. Very clever indeed.

Clever.

Com systems check. Can you hear me?

Come on.

Completely. Cortez lied to us.

COMPUTER VOICE: Missing OSS operatives.

COMPUTER: Destination safe house.

COMPUTER: Refreshments ready.

COMPUTER: Welcome to the N.I.X. Super Guppy.

Cool! Carmen, look!

Dad misses you, too.

Defenseless and weak.

Definitely.

Destroy it!

Devlin himself called?

Devlin, if you want the Cortezes...

Did Felix tell you that?

Do I know you?

Do you know why, son?

Do you send the children off to bed with nightmares?

Do you want me to look at your

Don't let go, Ingrid.

Don't start pointing fingers at me.

Don't trip getting up, pancake.

Don't worry, sir. Ingrid and Gregorio Cortez...

DONNAGON: They're in the dungeon. Hurry.

Donnagon?

DOOR: Your full name, please.

DOOR: Your name?

Emergency cash?

Empty.

Enemy spies.

Escort Mr. Lisp back to his chopper, children.

Estimated time for arrival... two hours, thirty minutes.

Even Mom and Dad.

Everything OK at school?

Ew, gross!

Explain.

Ey?

F I O...

Family, here's what we do.

FELIX: According to the coordinates...

Felix.

Fifteen minutes to escape.

Figure it out. We'll be back for you.

Finally, we can eat!

Five...

Floop could have hundreds of these flying around.

Floop is a madman! Help us! Save us!

Floop, you're spending too much time on this program.

FLOOP: A problem, Mr. Minion, as in mucho grande problemo.

FLOOP: But I will be blamed.

FLOOP: I don't think I ever did.

FLOOP: I'd stop the robot army and hope...

FLOOP: It's a cruel, cruel world

FLOOP: Mr. Lisp, I think you'll enjoy this.

FLOOP: One.

FLOOP: Through physio electrical imaging...

FLOOP: Warts, aren't they?

FLOOP: We need the Brain, Minion.

FLOOP: You there.

Floop?

Floop's Fooglies!

Floop's Fooglies.

Fly high

Fly high

Follow me. Follow me. Come on !

FONDA: Stay close, I know that you're with me

FOOGLIES: We're trapped! Floop is a madman!

Fools.

For a final demonstration of your destructive powers.

For attending today's demonstration.

For now.

For the last nine years.

For the same reason I left.

For you and you and you.

Free, you can all be free

From being scared all the time.

From every country.

From now on, whatever we do, we do together.

From sweaty hands sprout warts.

From using the brain on the robots...

Full of selfish, mean, nasty people

General's daughter.

Get away from me! Tough guy, huh?

Get your regulator ready.

Getting the map to Floop's castle.

GIRL: You're so right, Carmen.

Glass of water?

Good morning, my children.

Good ones, but they've been mostly inactive...

Good. How? How?

GRADENKO: He didn't say?

GRADENKO: Hey, they cost millions of dollars!

GRADENKO: I can understand if you don't trust me...

GRADENKO: Stop her!

GRADENKO: They're being loaded into your central now.

GRADENKO: Where does the Third Brain live exactly?

GRADENKO: You don't even know what those things are.

Great story, Mom, but it needs a new ending.

Gregorio Cortez is my younger brother.

Gregorio Cortez is our father.

GREGORIO: He called, asked me to go in.

GREGORIO: I mean, clearly.

GREGORIO: I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

GREGORIO: I've thought it out. Yes. I've thought it out.

GREGORIO: Juni, why do you watch that show?

GREGORIO: Lisp. Should have known you were behind this.

GREGORIO: No, my son does.

GREGORIO: Scan the area.

GREGORIO: So, you are Floop.

GREGORIO: The Third Brain System.

GREGORIO: We can't both leave.

GREGORIO: Whether we come out of retirement...

Ha, ha, ha, ha !

Had a few kids.

Had taken its toll.

Had that meeting with the principal.

Have meant more than you know.

Have some fun.

He does? Wonderful!

He wants the Brain.

He was different than she expected.

He was on the Third Brain Project...

He was the assignment that changed her life...

He was thrown out of the OSS.

He's emotional. Latinos.

He's fine. He's gonna be fine.

He's not.

Help us! Save us!

Here I am. What's the message?

Here, take this bag.

Here's the green button. Blue button first!

Hey, churros, how are you?

Hey, hey, hey, what about me?

Hey, it's the mummy.

Hey, you two, come on.

Hey!

Hey! Put me down !

Hi!

Hi! I'm Ms. Gradenko. We work for your parents.

His name is...

His own ideas into the system.

Hmm?

Hmm. Wow.

Hola.

How did you do that?

How do we get there undetected?

How many nights, I wonder...

How safe is a safe house if there's nothing to eat?

How years of working with detached emotion...

However, his inventions are somewhat questionable...

I assure you, it's Mr. Minion now.

I believe you have something that I want.

I built him !

I can uhh !

I can feel it...

I can make them look like anyone...

I can't even figure out where the coordinates point to.

I can't find the blue!

I can't help it. I'm slipping.

I can't.

I designed it myself.

I didn't do anything stupid, stupid.

I didn't think so.

I didn't want to worry you.

I don't believe in this anymore, Minion.

I don't have a key. Go knock it against something.

I don't remember that reason.

I don't see it.

I don't see why you won't help him !

I don't use my full name. It's too long.

I gotta have the business section.

I hate that!

I have found little use for them except as novelties on my

I have something else in mind.

I have to get back to my show now.

I have to take you to the safe house.

I haven't told that one in a while.

I hope this leads to the dungeon.

I just don't want you crying all over me.

I knew this was gonna happen !

I need you on it right away.

I now have the Third Brain.

I put the medicine on.

I said they were better off.

I said, "Can I help you with something, chief?"

I shouldn't be responsible for anybody but me.

I snap my fingers...

I speak for Mr. Floop when I say that the value...

I take it you are Minion.

I think he's gonna be a best seller.

I think I got it.

I think I'd better take all of that.

I think it's up to us. You with me?

I think Mom and Dad would want this destroyed.

I think that's why they're not working.

I think we all have uncles like that.

I thought you closed down your shop.

I trust this time Floop will have a success to show us.

I used to. Not anymore.

I want it!

I want to go on an adventure. I want to save the world.

I want you all to meet Donnamight.

I was assigned to protect your family...

I will never, ever build anything for you.

I wish I could go away to your world, Floop.

I would be turning this mission down myself.

I'd stop Minion.

I'll believe that when I see it.

I'll have to teach them. Shaped by environment, man...

I'll play it backwards.

I'll take the hundred on the right.

I'm going with you.

I'm gonna...

I'm not afraid of you, Alex.

I'm not gonna make it!

I'm right behind him ! Where are you?

I'm sorry.

I'm thinking. I'm thinking.

I'm toast.

I've always been methodical, goal oriented.

I've been baking under those studio lights.

I've got toy versions.

If I can just get the pressure right.

If it wasn't for Donnagon and the other agents...

If the OSS destroyed its research...

If the wrong forces found the technology.

If there's anything you can possibly remember

If we save our children, we risk the world.

If we told them we were spies...

If you dream my dream

If you dream, if you dream, if you dream

If you want to snare a spy

If you weren't a Cortez, I wouldn't be doing this much.

In a way, they exchanged...

In exactly ten seconds.

In fact, recognize these?

In my locating device, they're being taken to Asia...

Ingrid, Ingrid...Ingrid.

Ingrid, you take the hundred on the left.

Ingrid, you're always looking to go on another mission...

INGRID: Carmen, leave your brother alone.

INGRID: Characters from Floop's TV show.

INGRID: How did you get here?

INGRID: Is that right?

INGRID: It's OK. It's OK. I know.

INGRID: Now let's get nice and comfortable.

INGRID: Oh, yes. On her wedding day...

INGRID: S 4 1 4 to Santa Cecilia...

INGRID: She said, "I do. "

INGRID: So I went to their school today.

INGRID: Tell us.

INGRID: They decided to marry.

INGRID: Your father and I...

Ingrid.

Instant cement!

Intruder, intruder, intruder, intruder...

Intruder.

Is that where you want to be, free from your family?

Is this a fire drill?

Is this a joke?

Is this what you were hiding last night?

Is this.

It consisted of five letters.

It doesn't help that he has his head in the clouds...

It exists?

It has to stop.

It needs children.

It seems that a day doesn't go by...

It was for a reason.

It was theirs.

It wasn't at the house, so it must be here.

It'll work. It'll work.

It's a cold, cruel world for the nasty boys and girls

It's a cruel, cruel world

It's a cruel, cruel world full of nasty boys and girls

It's a database of some kind.

It's all over.

It's built for one passenger, but it's fast.

It's dad.

It's good to be back, Alex.

It's impossible. It can only be turned off from the outside.

It's just...

It's not that unusual, OK?

It's not what I can teach the children...

It's OK. Let it go. Let it go.

It's so beautiful!

It's the first one in the book.

It's tiny.

It's too late.

Juni, center right.

Juni, don't touch anything.

Juni, stop talking like your sister.

Juni, what are you doing down there?

JUNI: But now it's balanced!

JUNI: But you're wrong.

JUNI: Dad, when Floop makes a toy out of that one...

JUNI: Did you lock it?

JUNI: Ever sell stuff to Floop?

JUNI: Felix, behind you!

JUNI: Get away from me.

JUNI: Get them!

JUNI: I can't hold on much longer!

JUNI: It's a Fooglie idea.

JUNI: Just stop it, man.

JUNI: Looks more like an outhouse.

JUNI: OK, warts. Uhh!

JUNI: That's 500 total, Dad.

JUNI: What are those things?

JUNI: You were at his wedding.

Juni!

Juni!

Juni! Don't listen to her. You're not worthless!

Juni! You never do anything right!

Juni?

Juni. Juni. Hey.

Just be a moment.

Just keep them shut, all right?

Just suppose.

Keeping a family together...

Keeping Mom and Dad from being zapped !

Landing gear.

Last time I saw you, you were this big.

Left, left, left, left!

Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's never have children.

Let's see if they like bubbles.

Let's stop worrying about the children.

Let's try that cave over there.

LISP: Aah !

LISP: I thought you said Floop wasn't here.

LISP: Ow!

Lock him in the...

Lock them up!

Look out, always in danger

Look out, always in danger

Look. He's still asleep.

Looked deep into his eyes...

Lots of things.

MA CHETE: That's correct.

Machete's not responsible for nobody but Machete.

Made psycho robot children, and swallowed up my sister.

Making these weird drawings...

MAN: Have a good day, son. Show them who's boss.

Maybe you can?

Me?

Mind set.

MINION ON P.A.: All robots please report...

MINION: All robots report to the grand room...

MINION: but times change.

MINION: But, you see...

MINION: Gentlemen...

MINION: I don't need you anymore.

MINION: President's daughter.

MINION: Their mind is a mirror now, sir.

MINION: Your faith and your patience...

Missing one crucial element.

Missing what?

Mm hmm.

Mmhh ! You watch my show!

Mmm. Ours.

Mom ! Dad !

Mom, I've been skipping school, going places...

More than you know.

Most trusting words you can say to anyone.

Move fast, everything's all right

Mr. Floop is one such visionary.

Ms. Gradenko...I think.

Much less family

Must be stopped. Must be stopped !

Mutated secret agents.

My dad was gonna beat up your dad.

My dream

My dream

My mom has a bracelet like that.

My name's a pass code?

My parents can't be spies. They're not cool enough.

My show what does it need?

Nasty, nasty, nasty, nasty

Nasty, nasty, nasty, nasty

Neither do I.

Never send an adult to do a kid's job.

NEWSCASTER: Eight more incidents witnessed today...

Nice dolls. Here, let me see the dolls.

No "happily ever after"?

No landing gear. We're gonna crash !

No more secrets. Deal?

No more time.

No ransom, no demands. They just disappeared.

No such beasts.

No, I didn't.

No, no, no, no.

No!

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. I know who that is. That's We've got a follower.

No. Uh, take him

Not anymore.

Not for long. Watch this.

Not yet they're not.

Now all I have to do is make them work for real.

Now flushing your poop.

Now let's stop Minion.

Now they have two.

Now, the only thing that will get you...

Now!

Number two.

O...P!

Of the world's greatest espionage agents...

Oh ! Heh heh !

Oh, brother!

Oh, don't worry. I think it's reversible.

Oh, great.

Oh, great. Another fine Machete product.

Oh, it's me, all right.

Oh, Juni.

Oh, my sister!

Oh, no!

Oh, nothing important.

Oh, our first time out in nearly a decade...

Oh, shi...take mushrooms.

Oh, sorry, Devlin.

Oh, yes, we can.

Oh. Homework.

Oh. They're called Thumb thumbs.

Ohh ! Carmen...

Ohh ! Tough guy, huh?

Ohh.

Ohh...ohh...ohh...

OK, munchkin. Good night.

OK, you can open your eyes now.

OK.

OK.

OK. Airspeed fine. Altitude fine.

OK. That's it.

OK. Well, lights out.

On assignment to Bond.

On the glasses themselves.

On the most dangerous mission of all time.

On their own, each agent was notorious...

Once upon a time...

One has to navigate to keep a marriage together

One life of adventure for another...

Only they can stop the robots.

Open your ears.

Or community service.

Or I'm gonna call you names.

Or not is a decision that is up to us...

Or something you didn't.

Or South America.

Or we'll take whatever you do have, cut our losses...

Or what?

Or what?

OSS standard issue. We all have one.

OSS? You work with my parents?

Our only chance is to get to the control room...

Our real uncle? 'Cause we already got a fake uncle.

Ow! Gosh ! You're too close!

Ow! Ow!

Ow.

Owww!

Pass the pig intestines.

Performs some outstanding act of charity...

Picking up a a TV satellite?

Play its video games and watch the tapes.

Please report to the robotics lab at once.

Please speak English, Minion !

Poor little Juni.

Prepare to meet your maker.

President's son.

Press the blue and green buttons.

Prime Minister's son.

Promising. Thank you.

Psychotically so.

Puny...Juni.

Put me down !

Put these on quickly. We don't have any time to

Remember me now?

Remember that spy plane up on the roof?

Remember when we could sense danger a mile away?

Remember, you are a Cortez.

Remind me to raise their allowance.

Repeat the rendezvous point.

Research since destroyed.

Robot kids that look like my children.

Search the place.

See if they know where the Brain room is.

Send a child.

Send in the thumbs.

Send our best Thumbs.

Settled down...

Seven...

Several OSS agents are missing, including Donnagon.

She couldn't do it.

She felt like she would rather brave...

She from one country, he from another.

She had a very important mission assigned to her.

She took his hand...

She's still got it.

Shh. It's just a reflex.

Should Mom and Dad know about that?

Since the last time we met.

Sir, if you want to catch a criminal...

Sir.

Sknaht!

So are we.

So assured of his decision...

So enamored with what they were about to do...

So family does mean more to you than money.

So I'm gonna help you, then you're gonna help me.

So now we're even !

So quick, move like a flash

So they would define right as wrong...

So this time we're supposed to believe them.

So what do you say, kids?

So what in the world do we do?

So what would you do if you could shut this thing off...

So what?

So, always remember, whatever you do...

So, sometimes, one spy's mission...

So, they retired...

So, this must be Machete.

Someone else who could rebuild it.

Sometimes in order to think big...

Soon. Definitely soon.

Sorry, Juni. Guess you can't be a spy.

Speaking of secrets...

Spoken for.

Spy boy.

Spy Kids

Spy work...that's easy.

Standing there with no doubt whatsoever...

Standing there with no doubt whatsoever...

Start reading.

Stop shaking, or you'll give yourself more warts.

Stop shaking.

Stop that right now!

Sure, he was charming and intelligent...

Take control. We have to go to manual.

Taking ferry rides...

Teach them to be good.

Tear them limb from limb.

Tell me, Spy Kids...

Tell them the Third Brain lives! You must find

Than go through with what she was about to attempt.

Thank you for joining us.

Thank you for letting us stay here...

Thank you, Carmen !

Thank you.

Thank you...

Thanks for taking us this far, but...

Thanks.

Thanks.

That a human being is lying?

That another amazing child...

That brain's the only thing...

That could be a tracer. They could be tracking us.

That is brilliant, Minion.

That it frightened even her...

That life is over now.

That only the most courageous and slightly insane need apply.

That should hold them.

That the world would forgive me.

That thing that will take it to number one.

That this organization's ever seen.

That wanted at least one of them gone.

That way. Where's Mom and Dad?

That's because I'm mad. You kidnapped my parents...

That's cool.

That's difficult.

That's exactly what we'll do.

That's it. That's it.

That's my Fooglie!

That's our bargaining chip on getting Mom and Dad back.

That's the safe house?

That's what families are for. That's what I hear, anyway.

That's what Floop wants?

That's why Dad hasn't spoken of you in all these years.

The booger was right.

The characters sing? Play it backwards...

The Fabulous Floop is away on other business, sir.

The first of which is, I'm not your uncle.