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Scary Movie 2 (2001) "Scary Movie 2," released in 2001, is a hilarious parody film that spoofs various horror movies.

Scary Movie 2 (2001)

"Scary Movie 2," released in 2001, is a hilarious parody film that spoofs various horror movies. Directed by Keenen Ivory Wayans, the ensemble cast includes Anna Faris, Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Regina Hall, and Chris Masterson. The movie takes place in a haunted mansion where a group of college students are tasked with staying the night for a psychological experiment. Full of slapstick comedy and movie references, this outrageous sequel will have you laughing non-stop. Play and download the sounds of this hilarious movie here.

A Hip Hop Christmas.
A Sleigh Ride In My '64...
Aaaaaaah...
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah! [ Crash ]
Aah! Aah!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Aah! I can't feel my legs!
Aah! Oh, shit! I smell something burning!
About a week ago or so when I saw you up in the spot
About Hugh Kane.
About this friendship thing...
Actually, I was saying...
After the guns and the goggles.
After the guns and the goggles.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah. Ah.
Ah. Did you hear that?
Aha.
Ahh!
Ahh!
Ahh! Ah, those enchiladas.
Ahh.
Ain't that a bitch?
ALEX: Come on, baby. We can work this out.
ALEX: You don't really believe in that stuff, do you?
All I know is it's scaring me
All my fears
All my fears
All my fears
All my fears
All my fears arise
All my fears arise
All my fears arise
All my fears arise
All my fears arise
All my fears arise
All right, child, I think I'll take my leave.
All right, Dwight Hartman...
All right, Shorty.
All right!
All right.
All right. 180 me.
All right. I think that's almost...
All right. I'll go.
All right. I'll sing to you.
All right. Let's get out of here.
All right. Let's go.
All right. Now let's split up.
All right. OK. Mmm.
All right. Quick. Everybody to the laboratory.
All right. Step off then, sweet cheeks.
All right. You wait right here.
All the good times
All the jewels, murdering tools
All the way to the knee!
All you need is a little bit of flavor.
ALL: All right!
ALL: Shake your ass, watch yourself
ALL: Whoo!
Also, her tits are perfect.
Also, sometimes your eyes get kind of squinty...
And as the crowd is my witness, believe me
And bam! That just kicks it up a little bit.
And destroy the ghost.
And Father of our Lord Jesus Christ...
And for that... I am so thankful.
And get into the little...
And her skin isn't as oily as yours, either.
And her skin's not as oily as yours.
And how about All I want for Christmas...
And I fly high
And I found a picture of his wife.
And I found all these newspaper clippings...
And I got one of these.
And I got something to tell ya
And I look over, and Ray's in my bed holding me.
And I want to take full advantage of it.
And I'll give you Funyons and Cheetos.
And I'll help by giving you... [ Zip ]
And I've got to put my foot down...
And if shorty wanna pop, we popping the cris
And if shorty wanna rock, we rocking to dis
And it's got, over here...
And it's likely that it did attack...
And it's taking me a while to get over it,
And just let me do that for you?
And make them do a whole lot of dumb shit...
And many more!
And now he wants me.
And now, a lot of people like to baste their turkeys...
And running my bath water.
And say that we've got to pull the plug.
And shove them right up your ass...
And stand up for what I believe in...
And that we could all be in danger!
And that's old Master Kane.
And the fact she was exotic wasn't making it easy
And the pains of Hell got hold upon me.
And the Virgin Mary's baby daddy.
And then I like to get that right on there...
And then I'm gonna fart in your mouth.
And then let loose. [ Farting ]
And then we bring it to the table.
And then you'll be smoked by all the rappers...
And there's nights when I wake up screaming...
And they're so soft and warm.
And this?
And wear the shampoo for two weeks!
And who could forget Frosty the Dopeman?
And you look like you might have Down Syndrome.
And you're gonna die an old man...
And you're gonna go on...
And you're gonna have lots of little babies.
And yours look like them old orangutan titties.
Angel style!
ANNOUNCER: Lockdown Records presents...
Ante Up, Bitch, It's Christmas...
Any of them hot?
Anyway, I think she killed him...
Anyway...
Are my glasses crooked?
Are these all the subjects?
Are these cameras all throughout the house?
Are you having fun on your vacation?
Are you OK?
As I'm sure you are aware, Professor...
As many split ends as yours...
As our lives change
As Santa Claus Is Coming on Moms...
Attention all young players and pimps
Baby, I got to talk to you.
Bad, bad, bad girl!
Be boop, be boop on the nose.
Because we have no children.
Before it starts pumping, if you know what I mean.
Behind this operation is.
Better?
BIRD: God, that was a big one.
BIRD: Little? I'm not little.
Boo!
BOTH: Hallowed be Thy name.
BOTH: Ray fucked me.
BOTH? Our Father who Art in Heaven...
Brenda, do something!
BRENDA: Shorty!
BRENDA: Uh uh! Uh uh! Uh uh!
BRENDA: Yes, I do. Very much.
Buddy, can you feel this?
Buddy, I've never had anyone...
BUDDY: Aah!
BUDDY: Come on. You got to be quicker than that, A cup.
BUDDY: I got an idea!
BUDDY: Oh, dude! Someone's on the rag!
BUDDY: Oh, my God. She looks just like you.
BUDDY: You guys OK?
Buddy!
Buddy? Buddy?
Buddy...
But by the time I went in there...
But first I must bless this house.
But he cares for me in a different way...
But he seemed very eager and pleased to meet me.
But I just got out of a really bad relationship...
But I know who the real brains...
But I use this.
But I'll lick it anyway.
But it's big enough to get your hand...
But people don't seem to want to stay very long.
But that doesn't mean it was possessed.
But your guests have begun to arrive...
But, you know...
Call me!
Can't forget your toothbrush.
Caroline.
Check the fucking music room!
Cindy, get out of there! You'll get killed!
Cindy, let me...
Cindy, please! It's a matter of life and death.
CINDY, VOICE OVER? I can't take living with him any longer.
Cindy, what's going on?
CINDY: Hello?
CINDY: I don't know.
CINDY: I'm telling you, Professor...
CINDY: Look at this.
CINDY: Must have been hers.
CINDY: Oh, Brenda, you are so brave.
CINDY: Oh.
CINDY: Oh. Thanks.
CINDY: Ohh!
CINDY: Ow!
CINDY: Professor, is this the same house...
CINDY: Shh!
CINDY: So you think you made it into the class, Shorty?
CINDY: So, um, do you live here by yourself?
CINDY: Somebody help me! Brenda!
CINDY: These are delicious.
CINDY: This must be his wife.
CINDY: Yeah. It was traumatic.
Cindy?
Cindy.
City talk, Nelly listen, Nelly talk, city listen
Classic abandoned personality disorder.
CLOWN: Aah! Aah!
CLOWN: Hey, get your finger out of there.
Come back when you want some real loving.
Come get me!
Come here a minute. Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Come here!
Come here.
Come in! Come in!
Come on boo, give me kiss, come on
Come on, Cin.
Come on, man. It was so awesome.
Come on, pussy. Let me out of here.
Come on!
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on. Because you a bad girl.
Come on. I think there's a first aid kit in the lab.
Come on. Right this way.
Come on. You're gonna give me a yeast infection.
Come on. You're gonna give me a yeast infection.
Come over here.
Come play.
Coming through.
Coming to this house was the best thing...
Conserve it. Use it wisely.
Copy! Do you copy me?
Cover me!
Cover me!
Cutting the experiment short.
Da, da, da, da, da da, da, da, da!
Damn, bitch, please die!
Damn, bitch, please die!
Damn. Why does the little bitch...
Deez Nuts Roasting On an Open Fire...
Did I fire 3 shots or 117?
Did I frighten you, child?
Did you hear something?
Do we have some walkie talkies?
Do you feel lucky, punk?
Do you know that she used to entertain...
Doesn't that just have a ring to it?
Dolly'll never go away
Dolly'll never go away
Dolly'll never go away again
Don't forget to kiss each other good night.
Don't fuck it up. Ohh.
Don't sit like this, first of all.
Don't you say your good byes.
Dude, relax, man. I'm telling you,
Dude, what's it say?
Dude, you suck!
Dwight, he's here. Do something.
DWIGHT: Ahh!
DWIGHT: I don't need your help.
DWIGHT: I think you should consider...
DWIGHT: I warmed it up for you.
DWIGHT: No. Listen. Listen.
DWIGHT: Oh!
DWIGHT: OK. All right.
DWIGHT: Ow.
DWIGHT: Throw the switch!
DWIGHT: We want to be safe.
DWIGHT: Yes, and as you can see, Professor...
Dwight. Dwight, relax.
Dwight's the only one who has the keys.
Each of you have been carefully selected...
Even the President of the United States.
Even though I want to fuck it
Everlasting God...
Everybody look what's going down
Everyone is so cool, and I'm... not.
Ew.
Ew.
Eww.
Except she got some perfect boobs...
Father!
Father!
Father...
Feel yourself, son, like that.
For paranormal investigation, which is why, of course...
For royalty and common folk and...
For which you receive an automatic grade of A...
Free paper. Ha ha! Shit, son.
Friends forever
Fuck it!
Fuck me! Fuck me!
Fuck off, four eyes.
Fuck this.
Fuck! Did you see this? Look at this!
Fucked me.
Fucked me.
Fucking tease.
Gentle stuff.
Get my Vaseline, a banana, and some duct tape.
Get the hell out of there, guys!
Get up there! Come on!
Getting loud
GIRL'S VOICE: Come play with me.
Give it to me! Give it to me!
Give me a fucking rope. I'll hang myself.
Give me your best shot!
Go right now, you're scaring me
God is in his holy temple
God.
God.
Goddamn it!
Going on in this house.
Gonna need that for later.
Good luck.
Got to bring that shit over here?
Gotcha!
Guys, I think the Professor's up to something.
Ha ha!
Ha ha! Mmm... baby?
Ha ha! Oh, there's old Mother Kane...
Ha ha.
Ha ha. Oh!
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha!
Ha, ha, ha! My germs! Ha, ha, ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha! Gotcha! Psych!
Ha! Shit!
HANSON: Ahh.
HANSON: All right. Well, uh...
HANSON: Come on.
HANSON: Excuse me, Professor...
HANSON: Make room.
HANSON: Mmm. That smells good.
HANSON: OK!
HANSON: OK. Ooh!
HANSON: Thank you, my child.
HANSON: That's nice.
HANSON: That's what I like to hear.
HANSON: Uh!
HANSON: What the fuck?
Hanson...
HARRIS: Everlasting God...
HARRIS: Father!
HARRIS: Would you like to see the girl?
Have a nice trip.
Have we met?
He almost got us. Buddy's hurt.
He was a really evil man.
He was here just a minute ago.
He was the master's favorite pet.
He's becoming a monster.
He's been in the family for generations.
He's gonna kill us!
He's no trouble at all.
Hee hee! Like what, Ray?
Heee!
Hell, no, you for real?
Hell, yeah.
Hello, birdie. Polly want a cracker?
Hello, Cindy.
Hello, Dwight.
Hello, Professor.
Hello!
Hello! Hello. Can you hear me?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Heloo... Cindy.
Help me to release this demon.
Help!
Help!
Help! My pussy's gone crazy!
Here are the keys to the gate.
Here comes the pie.
Here I go. I'm hanging myself.
Here we are.
Here we go. I think the taters are just about done.
Here you go, Father. All clean.
Here. Take my hand.
Hey there, little guy. How you doing?
Hey, buddy! Hey, pay the fare.
Hey, Buddy.
Hey, Cindy, think fast!
Hey, do you guys know this one?
Hey, girl, I got an idea.
Hey, girl, that jacket is slamming.
Hey, girl, that jacket is slamming.
Hey, guys.
Hey, I don't need your help, OK, lady?
Hey, Kane, you hungry?
Hey, listen. Will you come check something out with me?
Hey, look out. A bee.
Hey, look!
Hey, must be the money
Hey, must be the money
Hey, must be the money
Hey, must be the money
Hey, these buns look good.
Hey, wait, wait, wait! Whoa!
Hey, what are you doing?
Hey, what's up, dog? Have a seat, peep
Hey, y'all. What's going on?
Hey, you can kiss my grits.
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey! Hey! Hey, man.
Hey! Hey! Hey! Conserve your ammunition.
Hey.
Hi yah!
Hi, guys.
Hi, little fella.
Hi, little guy. Look at you.
Hi, Theo.
Hiney... hiney ho...
His mom was a fat bitch
His wife, Caroline.
Hmm?
Hmm. Maybe some new gear.
Hold it.
Hold on, Shorty!
Holy Lord, Almighty Father in...
Holy Lord, Almighty Father...
Holy Lord...
Honey in the club, me in the Benz
Honeys look, no, they wish
Horse tranquilizers? You drugged him!
How about a leg?
How about a little snack of this?
How about I take these two legs...
How about two? Ha ha!
How about you give me a standing ovation?
How are we gonna destroy what we can't see?
How come every time some scary shit happens...
How do we stay in touch with each other?
How is she?
HUEY: Aaargh!
HUEY: Because you gave me crabs.
HUEY: Get away from me!
HUEY: Ha ha!
HUEY: It was just a booty call!
HUEY: Ooh!
Huey? Baby!
Huey... baby...
Hugh Kane, it's me you want!
Huh?
Huh?
Huh? Come on!
Huh? I see you eyeing the first piece.
I am a girl.
I beg your pardon?
I believe he's sleeping with our baby sitter Victoria.
I believe he's sleeping with our baby sitter Victoria.
I better use my strong hand.
I broke my fall.
I came as fast as I could, but at my age...
I can do it myself.
I can do it myself.
I can take care of it.
I can... myself... do it.
I can't feel my body, I'm so cold.
I can't. She's still on the platform.
I cook it with all the giblets...
I couldn't quite figure him out...
I did not. That's all his stuff.
I didn't do it by myself!
I didn't mean to go poopie in your litter box.
I do find, though, if I tickle my asshole...
I don't know how much longer I can hold on.
I don't know what it's doing out here.
I don't know what the hell that is...
I don't know what to say, Ray.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't think we're gonna be getting much help here.
I don't... I don't know.
I feel like such a geek sometimes, though.
I found...
I gave them special consideration.
I got it!
I got these psychic powers on line.
I guess it was gone.
I guess since you're a girl it's all right.
I had, like, a keg myself.
I have a history of not listening to me
I hear noises, where I'm a go?
I hear voices, what I'm a do?
I hear you're the only one...
I heard Dwight tell the Professor...
I just know that everything's gonna be OK.
I know what you're thinking.
I learned something very important in college...
I lick like that...
I love you!
I made them by hand.
I mean, if we just stick together...
I mean, there's Ray...
I said, Polly wants your mama's sweet ass.
I say when we pull the plug.
I squeeze really tight, and then I let loose.
I squeeze really tight...
I suspect he was having an affair.
I swear. Sometimes I think...
I take it you're not mad at me anymore.
I think I know why you're mad, Mr. Cat.
I think I'll be the bigger man now and walk away.
I thought I told y'all ******s before
I told myself not to touch it
I tried, but I just couldn't stop it
I tried, but I just couldn't stop it
I tried, but I just couldn't stop it
I tried, but I just couldn't stop it
I tried, but I just couldn't stop it
I tried, but I just couldn't stop it
I tried, but I just couldn't stop it
I tried, but I just couldn't stop it
I want to be able to act out our innermost fantasies.
I want to help you, Cindy.
I want to help you.
I want to talk to Roger.
I want to tell you about this thing...
I want you to know what happened, Cindy.
I wanted to borrow those keys?
I was minding my own business and she teased me, yeah
I was talking to this chicken
I was thinking the exact same thing.
I was thinking the same thing!
I was thinking...
I wish you were freshened up, too.
I woke up naked in a tub of ice.
I wouldn't go that far, Professor.
I... I can't feel my legs.
I'd be more than happy to walk you through it.
I'll be right back.
I'll be right down.
I'll be sure that she gets it.
I'll fuck you up.
I'll get her!
I'll get the keys.
I'll just run upstairs and jump into my jogging suit.
I'll make sure you get tucked in.
I'll put you in the full nelson and lick them.
I'll see you all this evening.
I'm asking you...
I'm Cindy.
I'm cold.
I'm Dreaming of a White Woman...
I'm Father Harris.
I'm Father McFeely.
I'm getting high as a motherfucker!
I'm getting out of here.
I'm gonna break his legs.
I'm gonna fuck that little cripple up!
I'm gonna handle this shit like a gentleman.
I'm gonna make this mine.
I'm gonna miss you, girl!
I'm gonna piss on your face...
I'm gonna pull that off...
I'm gonna rob that bitch tonight.
I'm gonna work this.
I'm here with Professor Oldman's group.
I'm hung like a bull, lady. Check it out.
I'm just gonna give them one quick whisk here.
I'm just saying that if indeed this cat did attack...
I'm long gone
I'm not afraid anymore!
I'm not crazy!
I'm Professor Oldman.
I'm so glad you're here.
I'm sorry, Buddy.
I'm sorry, Mr. Skeleton. Here.
I'm sorry! I didn't mean to smoke your relatives!
I'm the one he wants.
I'm tossing my own salad!
I'm working.
I've always wanted to walk on the moon.
I've been doing my bun busters every day.
I've been thinking about this whole friendship thing.
I've come back for you.
I've never had a friend...
I've served you well. Don't you do this to me.
I've taken care of everything...
If I had known, I would have freshened up!
If I throw the switch, she'll die.
If you had just shut the fuck up!
If you want to go and get high with me
If you want to go and take a ride wit me
In that newspaper article...
In the name of love.
In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy...
In which we'll study your various sleep disorders.
Including medical supplies and blood storage.
Is if we're all wearing one of these.
Is it a monster? Is it a monster?
Is that all you ever do?
Is that all you got?
Is the Charges Dropped...
Is this a poltergeist or a heist?
It happened right here.
It looks like you got Down Syndrome or something.
It must be why he keeps her around...
It really was...
It said that Hugh Kane was killed in the furnace.
It takes more than a little bag of bones to scare me.
It was hypnotic and so erotic
It was hypnotic and so erotic
It was hypnotic and so erotic
It was hypnotic and so erotic
It was hypnotic, and she was so erotic
It was hypnotic, and she was so erotic
It was hypnotic, and she was so erotic
It was hypnotic, she was so erotic
It was much too soon
It was much too soon
It was possessed.
It would have just been you...
It's a picture that he sent after the interview.
It's coming!
It's freezing.
It's gotten worse, Father.
It's Hanson. He's possessed.
It's less likely to come back if the two of you were...
It's my pleasure, but what a nice young man to offer.
It's OK, I guess.
It's the best seat in the house.
It's time for us to get out of here.
It's your time to shine.
Just before I unleash the dog of war...
Just mutilate her white ass and leave.
Just the tiniest little stinkhole...
Just trying to be nice.
Keep rubbing. Ohh.
Known to man.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la...
Last night, I found a secret room...
Let me give you a hand.
Let me give you a little pinch there.
Let me have your computer if you die.
Let us pray.
Let you go like a dozen balloons
Let's get him.
Let's split up. I'll meet you on the other end.
Like cha cha
Listen, you go help Buddy in the lab.
Lock the door.
Look at him. He hasn't aged a day.
Look at the thin cheek bones and the same lips.
Look at your hair.
Look at... Oh, what you got here?
Look down in pity upon this, your servant.
Look, I know you're proud. Just let me help you up...
Look, you got the panties...
Look. He crazy now.
Look. I don't even need my thermal goggles.
Look. Look what the cripple's doing.
Look. You help me by giving me the keys...
Looks like the furnace room.
Make your best move, ass bite.
MAN: Oh!
MAN: Ow!
MAN: What the...
MAN: Who put the horse out?
May I ask you is there something on the menu...
Maybe you two should sleep together.
McFeely: Defender of the human race...
McFeely: Soon...
Me! Me.
MEGAN IN DISTORTED VOICE: You failed, McFeely.
MEGAN: Aah!
Might have everyone else fooled...
Mm hmm.
Mm hmm. It is happening.
Mm hmm. That's what turns me on about you.
Mm hmm...
Mm mmm. Pass that down to her.
Mmm, good.
Mmm.
Mmm. It's all yours. Oh, yeah.
Mmm. Ohh.
Mmm... mmm.
Mom Dukes kicked me out, but you know something?
Morphine? Chloroform?
Move out of the way!
Move! Come on! Hurry up!
Must be a secret study or something.
My bad.
My germs.
My germs.
My love? Are you there?
My soul from death.
Never! I'll never let go!
Night night, baby.
No one can hurt us, my love.
No one leaves till then.
No, Buddy!
No, I didn't.
No, no, no.
No, no. No kissing. No kissing.
No, no. This is the best part.
No, please. Please, no.
No! Get it away from me!
No! This can't be happening!
No.
No. Come on. No.
No. Give me your other hand.
No. I didn't hear nothing.
No. My other hand isn't strong enough.
No. Oh.
No. That was the master's mistress's room.
No. We can't go anywhere. The gates are locked.
No. We have these.
No. Why me?
No. You go and stay right over here.
Nooooo!
Not literally. I'm serpentining!
Not too sure of what I see
Now get on out of here!
Now it's time for the turkey.
Now listen, that ghost may be invisible...
Now listen.
Now love it, don't stop
Now run that shit, bitch. Ya mean?
Now that we're out of the house and back in school...
Now this is the real shit.
Now we're gonna be together forever.
Now you will be mine... forever!
Now, fuck this.
Now, I'll be passing out directions...
Now, the bus arrives on Monday.
Now, there's no more ammunition.
Now, this year's study is insomnia.
Of the Stevenston County Massacre.
Oh, aren't those cool new skates?
Oh, Buddy, I don't think I'm re...
Oh, but the resemblance is striking.
Oh, Cindy...
Oh, come on, it's college.
Oh, come on. Yes, you can, baby.
Oh, Dad, Buddy's here. I got to go.
Oh, dear sweet God in Heaven.
Oh, don't be frightened, child.
Oh, don't let go.
Oh, fantastic!
Oh, God, will you shut the fuck up?
Oh, God!
Oh, God. Please, Lord.
Oh, good thinking, Dwight.
Oh, great.
Oh, Hanson, please.
Oh, he's cute.
Oh, hey, kitty, kitty.
Oh, hi, Dad.
Oh, hold on.
Oh, I bought mine on Friday.
Oh, I ought to kick your ass.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, I'm sorry. Are you scared?
Oh, I'm... I'm sorry, child.
Oh, look. A rocket scientist.
Oh, man. You boners aren't ready yet?
Oh, me, too.
Oh, my God, look at this.
Oh, my God, you're bleeding.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! She looks just like you.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. He locked us in.
Oh, my God. Look.
Oh, no, son! Not a poltergeist!
Oh, no. Birds are very clean animals.
Oh, nooo!
Oh, on the contrary, actually...
Oh, Professor.
Oh, Ray, why do you make me so bad?
Oh, really? Dude!
Oh, shit, Ray, you got a tattoo.
Oh, shit, son.
Oh, shit, you got a tattoo, too.
Oh, shit!
Oh, shit!
Oh, shit. What's it say?
Oh, stop! It's me!
Oh, sweet, man. Ray...
Oh, thank you so much.
Oh, thanks.
Oh, that's funny. That's real funny.
Oh, that's good.
Oh, what a beautiful bird.
Oh, what are we gonna do?
Oh, why do I live this way?
Oh, why do I live this way?
Oh, why must I feel this way?
Oh, why must I feel this way?
Oh, why must I feel this way?
Oh, wow! It's beautiful.
Oh, wow. Look at this.
Oh, yeah, y'all look just alike...
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah? You do, huh?
Oh, yeah. Ooh, yeah.
Oh, yeah...
Oh, yes, sir. That is Cindy Campbell...
Oh, yes.
Oh, you take it like a bitch.
Oh, you want this?
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! [ Sobs ]
Oh! Aah! Aah!
Oh! Me, too! 101?
Oh! Oh, that's heavy. Whoo! That's heavy!
Oh! Oh!
Oh! OK!
Oh! OK. I see where you're going with this one.
Oh! Uh uh! No. This is too much.
Oh! Watch. My fanny's coming through.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. Mrs. Huey Kane.
Oh. Shit.
Oh. Work, work, work.
Ohh!
Ohh!
Ohh! Uhh! Aah!
Ohh.
Ohh.
Ohh.
Ohh. Ah.
OK, Buddy.
OK, now. Dig in.
OK!
OK!
OK! Enough!
OK.
OK.
OK.
OK.
OK.
OK. But as soon as he gets there...
OK. Fine.
OK. Grab the chest.
OK. I love you. Bye.
OK. Listen. Someone has to go...
OK. OK.
OK. OK.
OK. Professor, uh, we need to talk.
OK. Right, left.
OK. See you later, friend.
OK. Thanks, handyman.
OK. That'll be $17.50.
OK. We have to destroy it.
OK. Well, maybe she won't see me.
OK. You three, follow me.
OK. You want a piece of me?
Old man.
One of my boys once invited me
One of your old favorite songs from way back when
Ooh, ooh, ooh ah, ah, ah!
Ooh, when it's dark outside
Ooh, when it's dark outside
Ooh, when it's dark outside
Ooh, when it's dark outside
Ooh, yeah!
Ooh!
Ooh!
Ooh!
Ooh!
Ooh! I'm shaking. I'm shaking.
Ooh. Hey.
Open chest!
Open chest!
Or is someone gonna offer me a seat?
Or something?
Or spaced too far apart.
Or spaced too far apart.
Other than that, though, the resemblance is uncanny.
Over a jacket stolen earlier today.
Ow ow ow!
Ow ow ow!
Ow ow ow.
Ow!
Ow!
Ow!
Ow! Ooh! Ow! Oh!
Ow! Ow!
Ow.
Ow.
Ow. Ow. No. Ow.
Peekaboo! Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Ple ple ple... Aah!
Please, Father, think of the child.
Polly wants your mama's sweet ass.
Popping like we drug dealers
PROFESSOR: Good idea.
PROFESSOR: Hello, Cindy.
PROFESSOR: Morning, Dwight. Let me help you.
PROFESSOR: No one gets access to them.
PROFESSOR: No!
PROFESSOR: Now, you should all be there...
PROFESSOR: Ooh, I like her.
PROFESSOR: Um, I'll go and change for dinner.
PROFESSOR: Welcome, everybody.
PROFESSOR: What?
Punk?
Put the Shorty down...
Range Rover all wood, do me like you should
Ray Ray, I need your help. Give me your belt.
Ray, give me a 180.
Ray, listen. The ghost is close.
Ray, thank God. OK. Where's Shorty?
Ray, this is Cindy.
Ray, you saved me.
RAY: 1, 2...
RAY: Damn.
RAY: Here's a little balloon animal.
RAY: I don't want to talk to Cindy.
RAY: Shit.
RAY: Shorty!
RAY: That's great.
RAY: Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle...
Ray! Oh, man.
Ray! Run faster!
Ready now.
Ready to open up shop
Really it's very simple.
Really?
Really?
Really? What happened?
Relax, son. It's just a bird.
Remind me to get a lotto ticket tomorrow.
Right now is the place to be
Right this way.
Right up inside it.
Right, kick, uh!
Right, kick.
Right, left.
Roger, where you at, man? Quit fucking around.
Roger. Roger. Come in, Roger.
Same... same eyes.
Say heloo to Cindy, Shorty.
Say, Yo, that jacket is tight, son. Ya mean?
Second best.
See the ice and the glist, ****as staring on the glist
See you later, Mrs. Harris.
Seeing as how tonight may be our last night together...
Shake your ass
Shake your ass
Shake your ass
Shake your ass
Sharing secrets and past experiences.
She came home.
She doesn't have as many split ends...
She kept it coming
She kept it coming
She kept it coming
She kept it coming
She kept it coming
She kept it coming
She kept it coming
She kept it coming, coming
She kept it coming, coming, coming
She robs some
She seems guarded, but willing.
She slipped me the number
She walked out in a bikini
She won't eat, she won't talk.
She... she's been really sick.
Shit is hot, right?
Shit, she saw me.
Shoot me, motherfucker!
Shorty looking at me like, Yo, let me hit that
Shorty, are you OK?
Shorty, you made it. You're alive!
SHORTY: Got me.
SHORTY: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Shit, son!
SHORTY: Ha, ha, ha, ha!
SHORTY: Hey! Hey! Hey!
SHORTY: How you doing? Ha, ha, ha!
SHORTY: I just thought that was funny.
SHORTY: Oh, shit!
SHORTY: Oh, wait a second!
SHORTY: There's a whole lot of freaky shit...
Shorty!
Shorty!
Shorty!
Shove it up your ass, you worthless piece of shit.
Show me what you're working with
Show yourself!
Show yourself!
Shut your ass up.
Silence!
Sir, exactly how are we going to get them up there?
Sir, they're all survivors...
SKELETON: Somebody gonna catch an ass whupping...
SKELETON? Ha ha. Very funny.
Smack my bitch up
Smack my bitch up
Smoke a I in the back of the Benzie
So I'm not quite ready to start dating yet.
So if one of our little chickadees...
So if shorty wanna knock, we knocking to dis
So this is your secret room.
So you can grow up to be a nice strong charon plant.
So, looks like we're gonna spend the weekend together.
So...
Some girl got an ass whipping...
Some new sound is coming towards me
Sometimes you do this little squinty thing with your eyes.
Sounds good.
Spent two years on my belly in Danang.
Stop it!
Straight doubted the flow
Study? Ha!
Stuff the shit out of it.
Subjects who are close to death are statistically more likely...
Suck on this. [ Gun cocks ]
Sun's gone down, the light's all gone
Sure. We can practice our talking.
Sure. Yeah. Cool. That... friends.
Take her wrap, fellas
Take it like you want it.
Take it to the head! Take it to the head!
Talk to me!
Thank you, Lord, the most merciful Almighty.
Thank you, Lord!
Thank you.
Thanks.
That a young girl was possessed by a demon...
That ever happened to me.
That fuck up their careers.
That happened to me when I was in high school.
That is the shit, dog.
That is very, very bad luck. My psychic told me.
That one.
That sounds kind of gay.
That they're participating in a study...
That was kind of bad.
That was the best that I've ever had.
That was the master's favorite toy.
That we need to stick together...
That we should take our friendship a little bit further.
That you haven't personally prepared?
That's it, daddy.
That's just it, Buddy.
That's nice and good.
That's the shit, son!
That's what your man's supposed to do.
The camel toe.
The child won't even let me touch her.
The church sent me to assist you.
The crouching tiger.
The drunken monkey.
The first documented...
The ghost has Buddy!
The little soldier needs a lot more thumping...
The penises and the ginies...
The sorrows of death compassed me...
The value of books.
Then called I upon the name of the Lord and...
Then my dick got real hard
Theo, did you see this animal?
THEO: Fine.
THEO: Guys, just give me five minutes alone with him.
THEO: She's right. We should stick together.
There could be a poltergeist in the house...
There's a monster chasing me.
There's more to this story than the Professor told us.
There's so many ashes, Buddy.
There's something going on in this house, Professor.
These are thermo goggles.
They can't hear me!
They emit a bolt of concentrated energy...
They had a house on the beach in Maui
They lead straight to the bookcase.
They taught me that...
They work on the principle of body heat.
They're not pointy or funny looking like yours...
They're so powerful, they can detect...
This hot Spanish chick's licking my nuts...
This is a fun game, huh?
This is a skeleton. This is bones.
This is just Mr. Kitties.
This is not part of the ritual.
This is your brains on drugs. Hee!
This might be our last night alive...
This one? [ Beep ]
This place gives me the creeps.
This shit burns more than a perm!
This was the room that belonged to the love of his life...
Those is Dixie cups.
Though I really didn't wanna, uh uh
Throw a little bit of slang in there.
Throw it all together.
Thy kingdom come.
Tickle, tickle.
To awaken the spirits of Hell House.
To be in this class...
To be very territorial animals...
To crush that roaring tiger...
To have the suggestibility required...
To have the suggestibility required...
To make a long story shorter
To the flames of Hell...
Toke, toke, toke, toke!
Too dirty?
Too much for you, huh, baby?
Traumatized coeds are a sure thing.
Try a little higher.
Tucked in or out?
Two hot dogs.
Uh huh!
Uh huh.
Uh, just a little experiment.
Uh, psych.
Uh, son.
Uh, son. Uh!
Uh, uh...
Uh!
Uh. Uh, yeah.
Uhh...
Up and down...
Upon completion.
VITAMIN C ON RADIO: Hey! Will you shut the fuck up...
VITAMIN C: [ Singing ] As we go on, we remember
VOICE: Hey, you. Hee, hee, hee, hee!
Walk away.
Wanna fuck fly bitches, when I walk, pay attention
Warm in his bed.
Was.
Watch it. Make room for fanny.
Watch yourself
We 'll get there on time, all right?
We are going to make history, Dwight...
We are going to spend the weekend together...
We are on the verge of greatness...
We be the stud ****as, wishing you was ****as
We gonna cool you up right now.
We got so wasted, man!
We had together
We will still be
We'll shave off our pubic hairs...
We'll tell them...
We're gonna be able to track these ghosts...
We're gonna die, y'all.
We're gonna use these guns.
Wedgie moment! Ha ha!
Wedgie! Smell you later!
Well, actually, her hair doesn't have...
Well, are you boys just gonna sit there...
Well, do you feel lucky...
Well, I know what you'd like.
Well, I ordered out the dessert.
Well, thank you, child.
Well, that... that's awful kind of you.
Well, then what the hell are we supposed to do?
Well, there's a lot riding on this project.
Well, yes. We've tried to rent it out...
Well...
Were murdered in this house.
Were to be taking a shower...
Wha...
What about that?
What about you, Buddy? What do you want to do?
What about you, Ray?
What are we gonna do?
What are you doing?
What are you getting at, Professor?
What class we got next?
What did Polly say to me?
What do I look like to you?
What do you want me to do?
What I'm about to tell you real, man
What if...
What is it?
What the fuck did you put in this birdseed?
What you working on?
What, man?
What, you hard core? Give me some.
What?
What? So you think I did this to myself?
What's a poltergeist?
What's my choice here, run like a fool?
What's my plan? Don't know anymore
What's this?
When I come back.
When it's dark outside
When it's dark outside
When it's dark outside
When it's dark outside.
Where are you?
Where are you?
Where are you?
Where no one could see me, believe me
Where we've established a controlled environment...
Where you going?
Which button would I press to get a closeup?
Which can damage the ectoplasmic cells...
Whitney and Bobby helped me!
Who cared for me the way you do.
Who has the keys to the gate.
Who is it?
Who once consigned that fallen tyrant...
Who sent your only son into the world...
Who wants the first piece of that pie?
Who?
Who'd like some appetizers?
Who's ready for the main course?
Who's that?
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa. Check this out.
Whoo!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Whoo! Oh! Ooh!
Whoo! OK.
Why couldn't you have just left me there to die?
Why don't you just relax?
Why don't you just relax...
Why don't you lift me up?
Why is he running so slow?
Why won't you talk to me?
Wit 3 women in the fo wit the gold CD's
With his family on a Christmas vacation
With that chick that was hot
With the most sophisticated high tech equipment...
With your mouths open...
WOMAN: Come here, baby.
WOMAN: Follow me.
WOMAN: Oh!
WOMAN: Oh!
WOMAN: Uh huh.
WOMAN'S VOICE: Cindy...
WOMAN'S VOICE: Cindy... Cindy.
Would you like to leave a message?
Would you run from Calista Flockhart?
Wow.
Y'all ******s don't fuck with me
Yaah!
Yeah, come on, bitch.
Yeah, he kind of was a little bit of a hornball.
Yeah, I know your mama. I fucked her last night.
Yeah, I think it is so cool having a girl as a friend.
Yeah, man.
Yeah, so how you digging college?
Yeah, something like that.
Yeah!
Yeah! And then I'm gonna shit on these walls, Ray!
Yeah! Ha ha! Whoo!
Yeah! How do you like that, little pussy?
Yeah! Yeah! Come on!
Yeah.
Yeah. Exactly.
Yeah. Look at this here.
Yeah. Music.
Yeah. Now go like this.
Yeah. Now stand up, let me show you some moves.
Yeah. Right, bitch.
Yeah. Work it.
Yeah. Yeah. Oh! Oh!
Yes, it was reported but never substantiated.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir. I thought that would be best.
Yes, sir. I took the liberty of putting...
Yes, you will.
Yes!
Yes! That's what I'm saying!
Yes. Mom, will you get out of there, please?
Yes. Sometimes you have to give them candy.
Yes. Yes.
Yo, dogs, what y'all think?
Yo, hold my tooth, son.
Yo, I know something you don't know
Yo, I'm gonna buy that shit, son!
Yo, Nelly, can we get tickets to the next show?
Yo, that jacket is tight.
You ain't that bad.
You all are fucked!
You and that Welcome Back, Kotter haircut.
You are the weakest link. Good bye!
You better be careful, though.
You can't be so rough with me.
You could use the grade, huh?
You don't be talking about my mama, son.
You don't know my mama, son.
You drink all this little water up...
You ever seen a bird dick this big?
You fuckheads would be ready if you weren't partying all night.
You get the others and meet us upstairs.
You gonna talk, son? Then do it.
You just have to know the anatomy of a turkey...
You know when you...
You know, a lot of people...
You know, because in the old days...
You know, I have been working out.
You know, like bringing me flowers...
You know, like talking and...
You know, stuff like that.
You know, the Professor...
You know, you really are my best friend, Cindy.
You left your book back there.
You let me know if there's anything you need.
You look beautiful just like that.
You look familiar to me. Were you in Stomp?
You never could.
You OK, Dwight?
You seem like a really nice guy...
You stay down here. I'll go check upstairs.
You stay here.
You take my little hand.
You think?
You think?
You want beef? I'll fuck you up!
You want to get together and study or something?
You want to play with Uncle Ray?
You white people always say, Let's split up?
You won't believe how many people
You'll get such classics...
You're a nice little plant.
You're gonna fall unless you take my hand...
You're in danger, Cindy.
You're no fun.
You're so smart.
Your mother is in here with us, Harris.
Your weapons are useless against me.
Yours or the turkey's?
Yow hi!
Zip it.
9, Brandon, 10...
11, Brandon, come on! Count with me!
All right? OK.
Baby, get my Vaseline. I'll handle...
Bring it on, bitch. No, no. What?
Buddy! What?
But I kept it Why?
Do you need help or... No!
Do you understand me? Oh, yeah.
Hey, Buddy! Surprise.
Hey, Cin. How you doing?
Hey! How you doing?
Hey. Hey.
Hi. Hi. Nice to see you.
I can do it. No.
I feel weak. Buddy!
I got it! Yeah?
I meant the chest. Right.
I'll go check upstairs. All right.
I'm com... Come back!
In room 302 at 10?00? That's it!
Is everybody here? Yeah.
No, Dwight. I can do it.
No! No, man!
No. Please? I mean...
No. Go away! Baby? Oh!
Not here! No.
Not like this! Amen.
Oh, God. Watch my bottom.
Oh, Shorty! Cindy!
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Oh! Aah!
Oh! Clumsy. Oh! No, that's fine.
Oh. Here. Come on.
OK. All right.
OK. I'll see you shortly.
OK. Right up, son.
Out, man. Out, man. Come on.
Ray! Oh, I'm sorry. My bad.
Ray... Fucked me.
She saw them! Saw who?
She's really beautiful. Yeah.
Shut up. Ow!
That's cool. Yeah.
Uh! Uh!
What's your location? I'm right behind you.
Wow. What is this?
Ya mean? Ya mean?
Yeah. Look!
Yeah. Please.
Yeah. Rest that little hand.
Yeah. It'll be fine. All right.
Yes! Yes!
Yes. Oh, Buddy!
'Cause it looked dope on me
[ All crying ]
[ All talking ]
[ Applause ]
[ Banging on door ]
[ Bee buzzing ]
[ Bell ringing ]
[ Bird squawks ]
[ Birds chirping ]
[ Bookcase opens ]
[ Both grunting ]
[ Both screaming ]
[ Buzzing ]
[ Cheering ]
[ Cheering and applause ]
[ Cindy groaning ]
[ Cindy screaming ]
[ Coughing ]
[ Coughing ]
[ Coughing ]
[ Crash ]
[ Crash ]
[ Crowd singing Hello, Dolly! ]
[ Crying ]
[ Deep voiced scream ]
[ Distorted voice ] Ha ha!
[ Distorted voice ] Ha ha!
[ Distorted voice ] Uh oh!
[ Distorted voice ] Your mother sucks cocks in Hell.
[ Door creaks ]
[ Door slams ]
[ Engine running ]
[ Everyone cheering ]
[ Faint footsteps ]
[ Fainter ]
[ Fainter ]
[ Farting ]
[ Farting ]
[ Farting ]
[ Gasping ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Gibberish ]
[ Giggling ]
[ Girl giggling ]
[ Groan ]
[ Groaning ]
[ Growl ]
[ Growling ]
[ Growling ]
[ Growling ]
[ Growling ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Grunting angrily ]
[ Hanson humming ]
[ Hanson Humming ]
[ Hanson humming ]
[ Hiss ]
[ Hiss ]
[ Hisses and growls ]
[ Horn honks ]
[ Humming ]
[ Insane in the Brain playing ]
[ Knock on door ]
[ Laughing ]
[ Laughing ]
[ Laughing ]
[ Loud scream ]
[ Megan laughing ]
[ Meow ]
[ Meow ]
[ Meow ]
[ Moaning ]
[ Moo ]
[ Mooing ]
[ Mumbling ]
[ Music resumes ]
[ New song begins ]
[ Plays Mystikal's Shake Ya Ass on piano ]
[ Record scratch, music ends ]
[ Rowr ]
[ Rowrrr ]
[ Rowrrr ]
[ Rrrowrrr ]
[ Rustling noise ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Singing ] I let you go
[ Singing ] If you want to go and take a ride wit me
[ Singing along with radio ]
[ Smelling ]
[ Snoring ]
[ Snoring lightly ]
[ Sobbing ]
[ Squawking ]
[ Squawking ]
[ Starts drill ]
[ Struggling ]
[ Sugar Ray's Sorry Now playing ]
[ Thud ]
[ Thumping ]
[ Thumping loudly ]
[ Thunder ]
[ Thunder ]
[ Thunder ]
[ Tires squealing ]
[ Tires squealing ]
[ Tires squealing ]
[ Toilet flushes ]
[ Whistle blows ]
[ Woman roars ]
[ Yelling ]
[ Yelling ]
[ Yelling ]
[ Yelling ]