Birdman (2014) Edit

A billion worldwide, guaranteed! You are larger than life, man.

A cat playing with a dildo gets more than that.

A douchebag's born every minute!

A film!

A little note.

A man becomes a critic when he cannot be an artist...

A pint of whiskey, please.

A poor...

A wistful distance, underscored by a gentle breeze...

About being humiliated out there!

Above them all.

Absolutely not.

Actors equity is a very strong union, sir!

Actors in position.

Actually, you did.

Adrenaline.

After a while, I made myself numb, so.... but my...

Alchemillas. Or something that smells nice.

All right. See you tomorrow.

All that matters is what she writes about us in 500 words in the times.

All you have to do is...

Amazing, amazing.

And all the people on board are, you know, crying.

And by the way, I'm not pregnant, so there's one thing not to worry about.

And he sent this back afterwards.

And he told me it was because he couldn't see her...

And he told me it was because he couldn't see her...

And he was yelling, I love you, I love you, bitch! What do you do with a love like that?

And here's the thing... you have four lines after that

And I didn't want to tell you this, but Martin scorsees...

And I just want to let you know that, no matter what happens...

And I keep waiting for someone to tell me I made it.

And I walked...

And I'm going to close your play.

And I'm thinking, oh, boy...

And the French ambassador's coming.

And the next time you screech...

And this... Is how long humans have been here.

And you know what? You're right! You don't!

And, let's face it, dad...

And, uh, this play is kind of starting to feel like...

And...

Annie? Clear the theater, send everyone to dinner and give me some lights!

Another blockbuster.

Anybody.

Anyway, like I was saying...

Are we good here?

Are you drunk?

Are you laughing?

Are you okay?

Are you okay? You seem....

As soon as we announced he was taking over, the advance doubled.

As you're probably aware, barthes said:

Ask her what he did after she left him.

Ask Nick. I want you to ask Nick if he thinks that's love.

Bang!

Bang!

Be careful.

Because when he got us out there...

Because you threw a kitchen knife at me...

Before people started to forget who was inside that bird costume.

Believe or not, this is power.

Birdman 4? You do birdman 4?!

Birdman, like icarus...

Birdman: The Phoenix rises.

Birdman!

Birdman! Hey, birdman, whooo, look at that!

Bleeding's the most honest thing he's done so far.

Blissfully untrained, unversed and unprepared...

Blood was spilled both literally and metaphorically by artist and audience alike.

Bones rattling! Big, loud, fast!

Break a leg, Mr. thomson.

Breathing in, I am calm.

Breathing in.

Breathing out.

Bring the curtain down.

But I think what you're saying is love is absolute.

But I wasn't.

But I'm not going away. You know I'm right.

But long after you're gone, I'll be on that stage...

But my body doesn't seem to agree.

But you didn't even see it. Did I do something to offend you?

By the time I got down to the hospital, this kid, this fucking teenager, was dead.

By the time we got to the hospital, the kid was dead.

By the time we were done with them, we just, you know...

Bye bye... And fuck you.

Call 911!

Callow. Callow is a label.

Can I tell you something funny?

Can we discuss this like two mature artists? What is the big deal about...

Can we not get hung up on knowing lines? Can we just work on this? Tear it apart?

Can you give me more of that? You know, fear?

Can you imagine?

Can you imagine? I'm telling you, this guy's heart was breaking...

Christ, what a nightmare.

Come on, people, don't be so pathetic.

Come on! Just do it!

Come on. I've been helping Lesley get off book for a month.

Come on. Just get the contract done. Please, Jake. I'll get the money.

Come on. Stand up!

Cool.

Could have been anybody, I guess.

Crazy, druggy, wise ass daughter, milf y wife with perky tits.

Creeps in this...

Cut it out! I'm serious, Mike.

Dad, what kind of... shut up!

Dad!

Dad?

Dad?

Dad?

Dad.

Dad.

Did you intend to shoot yourself!

Did you know farrah fawcett died the exact same day as Michael Jackson?

Did you replace my gin with water, man?

Do it again.

Do me a favor. Don't get your panties in a twist over a preview, like some rookie...

Do me a favor. For once in your life, honest to God, shut up for a minute.

Do what?

Do you have any idea how crazy that sounds?

Do you know what this is? Do you even know what it is?

Do you know where to go?

Does anybody give a shit about the truth other than me?

Don't be a dick. Give me an autograph.

Don't call me Mike. Call me Mel.

Don't do it.

Don't fuck with me, Mike.

Don't hang up. Don't hang up.

Don't kill the messenger.

Don't make me feel self conscious about my marriage while my wife is sitting...

Don't worry about it. He's a handful, huh?

Don't worry... it'll be used to scoop up dog shit tomorrow.

Don't write anything. Why would you write anything?

Don't write what she said. I didn't put any baby pig....

Don't you ever worry that I'll give you a bad review?

Dude, you rock!

Dude. Seriously?

Ed! Eddie, Eddie, don't do that!

Ed?

Eddie, please, just... Just give me the gun.

Eddie, please!

Eddie! What are you doing here?

Entitled, selfish, spoiled children.

Even after I said to him, your wife's going to pull through, he was still depressed.

Even after I told him the wife would pull through, he was still depressed.

Everybody says, oh, Mike is so honest. Mike is so motherfucking truthful!

Everybody's back. Larry needs to see him for a fitting.

Everything. You've been doing a really good job, honestly.

Everything's the same, I guess.

Feed me a line.

First preview tomorrow.

Flames. Sacrifice.

For fuck's sake, just jump already.

For God's sake, are you getting drunk?

For what?

Forget about her.

Forget about the times... Everyone else has.

Forget the understudy. Cancel the first preview.

Fuck it. We'll make a comeback. They're waiting for something huge. Well, give it to them.

Fuck you!

Fuck you!!! Shut the fuck up!

Fuck you. Don't put me on the spot.

Fuck! They put him in a cape, too? I don't care.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fugitives are scared, you know? Fugitives are on the run.

Geraldine page. Helen Hayes.

Get a better one. Have some self respect. Please.

Get him out of here!

Get him the fuck out of my play.

Get off me. What are you looking at?

Get off!

Get the fuck out, you assholes!

Give me 10 minutes to grab my things, give me 10 minutes and we can... don't hang up.

Give me a minute.

Give me another one.

Give the people what they want... old fashioned apocalyptic porn.

Gladly.

Go figure that out.

Go out there every single night and pretend to be somebody else in front of all those people?

God, you look like shit, brother.

Goddamn it! The motherfucker hung up!

Good for you.

Good luck with that.

Good night.

Good. That's terrific.

Gravity doesn't even apply to you.

Great idea.

Handsome.

Happy? I'm fucking euphoric!

He beat the shit out of us. But at least when he was beating us...

He got a new nose! And if doesn't like that one, we'll get him a new one!

He has a thing for nuns in diapers.

He just woke up.

He said he has to be a redneck.

He shot himself in the mouth, but he screwed that up, too. Poor ed.

He shot the nose off his face!

He stole your front page. He's stealing your show. He thinks you're a joke.

He used to carry this .22. We lived like fugitives then.

He was fucking drunk, man.

He was in terrible shape. His head swelled to twice the size of a normal head.

He was never around.

He was ready to die for it.

He was right, though.

He'd call me at the hospital and say:

He'll be fine.

He's a Hollywood clown in a lycra bird suit.

He's an asshole.

He's an avenger.

He's doing the next hunger games.

He's doing the prequel to the X Men prequel.

He's not that bad!

He's playing you.

He's the actor we've been waiting for.

Here we go.

Here. Try these...

Here... I don't know what that is, just take it.

Hey, apart from that, uh...

Hey, aren't you riggan thomson? Holy shit, let me get an autograph.

Hey, birdman!

Hey, fellas, when do I start?

Hey, I'm the wrong person to ask! I don't even know him. What's your point?!

Hey, Jimmy, you got a smoke?

Hey, look, it's riggan thomson!

Hey, man, can I help you?

Hey, Sam! What did you feel like the night your father tried to kill himself?

Hey, Sam.

Hey, that's on me. She's a friend of mine.

Hey! Is this for real, or are you shooting a film?

Hey. What's up?

Hollywood's heading here, tabby.

Holy shi...! Where are your underpants?

How about that, huh? Did you see that coming?

How did he screw up shooting himself in the mouth?

How did we end up here?

How do you always manage to find a new way to humiliate me?

How do you do it?

How do you know the lines?

How do you suppose I do that? How...

How do you want me to do that?

How is he?

How'd you know I'd be up here?

How's that for truth, you dick?!

How's that going?

I am calm.

I am so tired of this. Is this water?

I can alter the suit, but we're going to have to make new trousers and shirts. And underwear.

I can tell, because you... I just want to give you a range.

I can't afford to listen to you.

I can't smell them.

I can't.

I can't....

I did the work, I raised the money and I arrange the press!

I did, actually.

I did, yeah.

I did?

I didn't know you were here tonight.

I didn't know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I didn't think he could do Broadway.

I didn't want that baby.

I didn't want that baby.

I don't believe this. The unexpected virtue of ignorance?

I don't care.

I don't care.

I don't exist.

I don't feel threatened at all.

I don't have to be drunk to say what I think.

I don't know if drugs fried her brain or what...

I don't know, you seem abnormally calm.

I don't know... what do you think, boss? You want to do this with me?

I don't pretend out there. I told you.

I don't think it's high enough.

I drove out to...

I got a chance to do something right.

I got a play to do!

I got this little voice... Talks to me sometimes.

I got to take it. I got to.

I guess we make choices in life, and we choose to live with them.

I guess we make choices in life, and we choose to live with them.

I had to fight my way out of the water and went up to the beach.

I hate this job.

I just got out of rehab. It's the closest thing I get to a drug.

I just sat on the beach for a while, looking out at the ocean.

I just wanted to be what you wanted.

I just wanted to be what you wanted.

I just wanted to be what you wanted.

I knew what Mike was capable of and I brought him in anyway.

I know where to go.

I know. And you believed me.

I look like a Turkey with leukemia!

I love this city.

I love you.

I made it happen.

I mean, crying. Praying, right?

I mean, the plane was rattling and shaking.

I mean, what are we doing here?

I mean, who the fuck are you?! You hate bloggers, you mock Twitter.

I missed my last two periods.

I need it to feel real, okay? I need that intensity.

I need the money.

I only heard his name mentioned in passing.

I only heard his name mentioned in passing. I wouldn't know.

I pretend just about every place else, but not out there.

I really am sorry.

I really wanted to be a mom.

I really wish I hadn't videotaped her birth.

I rode with him in the ambulance to the hospital.

I said, motherfucker, are you threatening me? If I so much as get a letter from a lawyer...

I saw you in hothouse at the geffen. You were great.

I think he's drinking real gin.

I think it's really happening.

I think maybe I deserved it.

I think they're trying to remind us that that's all our ego and self obsession are worth.

I think we should cancel the preview.

I think you're saying love is absolute.

I thought I lost you, buddy.

I told them the first thing that came into my head.

I told you to stop, you fucking animal.

I told you.

I want to know something.

I want your shit out of the apartment.

I was a kid, in high school...

I was a shitty father, wasn't I?

I was drowning. I'm just not capable of...

I was fucking miserable.

I was in the moment. I thought you were, too. I'm sorry.

I was just trying to give you a range.

I was rolling around like a maniac in the sand...

I was up to my chest when I felt the first one.

I was watching you onstage and all of a sudden...

I wasn't even present in my own life, and now I don't have it...

I will never get that image out of my head.

I will.

I wouldn't know. You'd have to know the particulars.

I'd be afraid I couldn't get it up.

I'd pull your eyes out of your head...

I'd rather not talk about it.

I'll call his agent.

I'll fix the blood rig.

I'll take that as a yes.

I'm finished!

I'm fucking disappearing.

I'm glad you're an actor and not a writer, 'cause that was, like...

I'm going to destroy your play.

I'm going to get a vase for the flowers.

I'm going to go home.

I'm going to kill your play.

I'm gonna crab up on your ass and fucking choke you out!

I'm good. I don't need it.

I'm great, actually.

I'm happy! He's alive! My best friend is alive! And...

I'm just not capable of that kind of...

I'm Mike... Shiner.

I'm not a mental formation. I'm you, asshole.

I'm not even here.

I'm not even here.

I'm not even here.

I'm not fucking you! I'm riggan fucking thomson!

I'm not sleeping, like, you know... At all.

I'm not sure that I said thank you.

I'm pathetic!

I'm self absorbed? Look at you.

I'm sorry, what was the question?

I'm sorry.

I'm sort of hoping it was Lesley.

I'm sure you will...

I'm telling you, this guy's heart was breaking because...

I'm the one keeping this afloat!

I'm the wrong person to ask, he says, but what's the intention?

I'm the wrong person to ask. I didn't actually know him.

I'm the wrong person to ask. I didn't actually know him.

I'm the wrong person to ask...

I'm thinking of refinancing the Malibu house.

I'm tired, dude. I can't do this anymore, Jake.

I'm trying to do something important!

I've been reborn, brother. And I can see the future.

I've been so preoccupied with all the....

Icarus.

Idiot.

If anybody talks to you about it, it was an accident.

If I need to be drinking gin, who the fuck are you to touch my gin?

If she likes us, we run. If she doesn't, we're fucked.

If the 2nd act is half as good....

If this doesn't work out for you, you fuck off back to your studio pals...

If you want the face stuff, it's not open till tomorrow. What?

Ignorant, but charming. Now, you're just a tiny, bitter cocksucker.

In the days before Nick's depression started to eat away at him...

In the days before Nick's depression started to eat away at him...

Is blood coming out of his ear?

Is he breathing?

Is he fed up with the subject? Deflecting guilt over the marriage?

Is he up?

Is it any good?

Is it bad? Did you even see it? Let me read it.

Is it good or bad? 'Cause I really...

Is it true? Scorsese?

Is it true? Shiner?

Is it true? Shiner?

Is it? I don't know.

Is that a threat? What wheelchair?

Is that crazy?

Is that good or bad? Riggan!

Is that what I'm saying? Am I saying love is absolute?

Is that what this was?

It doesn't matter.

It is a tale...

It was a preview! Nobody gives a shit!

It was killing him.

It was love, Mel. To Eddie, it was. I don't care what anyone says.

It was tweeted by @prostatewhispers.

It wasn't all Dr. drew or anything, but that dude from American pie was there.

It won't be the first time I've been humiliated.

It'll be incredible! It'll be real.

It's a beautiful day.

It's a full house. We're sold out!

It's a little bit too much. I can tell, because you... I just want to give you a range.

It's a thing I have. I don't know, it's a gift.

It's actually going well.

It's also not true. See, I can pretend, too.

It's always we, brother.

It's comforting.

It's first preview tomorrow night. Let's get to work.

It's funny. I was sitting here, waiting for you...

It's going great out there. You're so good. I mean it. I really mean it.

It's going really well.

It's just been so crazy around here, you know?

It's just on a cocktail napkin.

It's like a candle burning at both ends, but it's beautiful.

It's my chance to finally do work that means something.

It's not important, okay? You're not important... get used to it!

It's pathetic.

It's the bird fucking man! Hey, come look at this guy!

It's the same.

It's your house... do what you want with it. Just be there for our daughter.

Jake, it would have been a disaster. That guy's the worst actor I've ever seen.

Jason robards. Marlon Brando. And now riggan thomson.

Jeremy renner! He was nominated. The hurt locker guy.

Jesus Christ!

Jimmy!!

Jump!

Just because I didn't like that ridiculous comedy you did with Goldie hawn...

Just find me an actor... a good actor. Woody Harrelson!

Just find me someone.

Just make it go away.

Just one picture! Kids, get next to him!

Just put the gun down, ed. She doesn't love you anymore.

Just put the gun down, ed. She doesn't love you anymore.

Just sign it.

Kind of scary, but it is comforting.

Knock, knock, knock! Terri! Terri!

Lackluster. That's just a label.

Larry? Larry?

Last chance for places.

Leave her alone. If you're not drunk, don't talk like you are.

Leave me the fucking tools that I need!

Lesley? Uh, Lesley's moving on.

Let me put the blood rig on.

Let's go. Come on. Get up.

Let's go. Walk.

Life is but a walking shadow,

Like you said...

Lilacs.

Listen, what I said...

Look at all these roses.

Look at me.

Look at me.

Look at me.

Look at me. I was drowning.

Look at that!

Look at that.

Look at these people, at their eyes... they're sparkling.

Look, I'm the wrong person to ask. I only heard the man's name mentioned in passing.

Look, you're my attorney. You're my producer. You're my best friend.

Make it work with one line. I didn't even know the man. Right?

Marginalia? Are you kidding me? It sounds like you need penicillin to clear that up.

Maybe not to you or your cynical friends whose only ambition is to go viral...

Maybe.

Me, neither.

Me, too.

Me?

Measuring your worth in weekends?

Mel and I had been together five years...

Mel, don't get him started.

Michael fassbender.

Mike who?

Mike, come on.

Mike. He said it's for his character... part of his process and that shit.

Mine, too.

Miss Dickinson.

Mr. roth? Okay, don't leave, please.

Mr. shiner.

Music out. Cue 34, 35 ready.

Music.

My father was a mean fucking drunk. You understand?

My little sister....

Neither of them has clean underwear.

Never mind.

Next, an exclusive interview with Robert downey, Jr...

Nice touch.

No amount of booze or weed or attitude is going to hide that.

No, absolutely not. That's why...

No, I don't...

No, I get it, I understand. She needed to have a dad...

No, I mean here. Now.

No, I'm actually not. You do look hideous.

No, I'm good, I'm good.

No, no, forget that. Just stay with me.

No, no, no. Me, too.

No, no, no. You did good. Are you kidding? You did great.

No, no. I'm getting hard... feel that.

No, she's just going through...

No, um... when I was in rehab, they made us do this.

No, we can't, Mike! Maybe up here, you're Mr. truth...

No, you don't. That's what previews are for.

No, you were....

No, you're birdman.

No.

No.

No.

No. It was how he tried to make up for it...

No. Okay, okay. Everything's too small.

Nobody gives a shit but you!

Nobody? My massive hard on got 50,000 views on YouTube.

None of this costs you fucking anything.

None of this even matters. I don't exist. I don't exist.

None of this even matters. I don't exist. I don't exist.

Not because I didn't love Nick, and not because I didn't love the idea of it, but because...

Not because I didn't love Nick, and not because I didn't love the idea of it...

Not really.

Nothing is a problem for me onstage.

Nothing matters until that old bat from the New York times comes opening night!

Nothing, just try to fuck me in front of the audience!

Nothing.

Nothing. Two years, and he's never said anything like that to me.

Now go out there and do what you were born to do.

Now I spend every fucking day...

Now I spend every fucking minute praying to be somebody else. Somebody I'm not!

Now I spend every fucking minute trying to be something else, something I'm not.

Now is it true you've been injecting yourself with semen from baby pigs?

Now two million people agree with him.

Now you're about to destroy what's left of your career.

Now, please, do me a favor, I'm begging you... don't fuck it up!

Now, you're the director. Get him under control.

Oh, can we take one picture!

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Really?

Oh, great. Great.

Oh, honey, can't we just go to dinner?

Oh, I didn't expect you to just jump right in.

Oh, look at me! Look at this! Look, look, look!

Oh, my God! You know who that is?

Oh, my God.

Oh, no! That's the thing... I'm the wrong person to ask. I think it's, fuck you.

Oh, shit!

Oh, shoot. I'm sorry.

Oh, sorry.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, you really fucked up this time.

Oh, you're such a doll. Thank you. You're so sweet.

Okay, hang on. Who is this barthes guy? Which birdman was he in?

Okay, he's fucking terrible.

Okay, I don't even know what the fuck that means.

Okay, I'll do it.

Okay, let me think.

Okay, listen. You're going to get hit with a brandishing a weapon charge.

Okay, Mr. roth, please hear me out. Will you?

Okay, then jump on my face!

Okay, well, I just wanted to say that.

Okay?

Okay.

Okay. But you don't even know if it's any good or not.

Okay. Look.

Okay. Okay. Hey, hey, hey.

On my back, it was like somebody was holding a frying pan to me and really burning.

One million, three hundred thousand hits in the last 2 hours.

Or do I take it off and use it on you?

Or not.

Or not.

Our perfect dream actor is not going to knock on that door and go,

Out! This is a personal matter! A personal matter!

Out... Out....

Page 12. Page 12.

People would've wanted to see that.

Pimple faced gamers creaming in their pants.

Poor ed, my ass! The guy was dangerous!

Popular? I don't give a shit.

Pretty good. Yeah, I'd be a lot better if I could get...

Put the gun down. She doesn't love you!

Ralph will sue us. He will sue us and he has a case.

Ralph, Ralph, Ralph.

Read it.

Read it.

Real blood.

Really?

Really?

Really?

Really? What is it?

Remember our last anniversary party?

Riggan thomson, best known as the face of birdman, tries not to lay an egg on Broadway.

Riggan, everyone's set for 1 4. They're ready for you.

Riggan, I'm missing him.

Riggan, listen to me. Please, for the love of God, listen.

Riggan, they're ready for you.

Riggan, this is what you wanted.

Riggan, we are in the motel. Last scene has started. You're not here.

Riggan, you don't have to be a great father right now. You just have to be one.

Riggan!

Riggan?

Riggan.

Right before he did it, his eyes were so sad and lonely.

Roland barthes was a French philosopher, and if you knew anything about the history of...

Sadly, it was with Mike shiner on a fake motel bed in front of 800 people.

Sam and I are going to grab a bite after she's finished.

Sam... Lesley.

Say something else.

Say what you want, but I know what it was.

See? There you go, you motherfucker.

Shave off that pathetic goatee. Get some surgery!

She does look like she licked a homeless guy's ass.

She does. Yeah. She can even sit or stay or roll over, if you have any treats.

She has a great ass. I have news for you, too.

She's trying to stay away from everything and everyone

Shit.

Shit.

Shut the fuck up. You don't get hard on my stage unless I tell you to.

Shut up!

Shut up!

Shut up!

Shut up! Fuck you! Shut up!

Shut up! Shut up and listen to me for once!

Shut up! Shut...

Shut up.

Shut up.

Sir, you can't go in there!

Sir, you did not pay me!

Sir! Sir! Where are you going?

Sir! Where are you...? Sir!

Sixty's the new thirty, motherfucker.

Smart girl.

So break a leg.

So carver's the reason you became an actor?

So I went up to the mouth hole and I asked him.

So I'll tell you what. You take this fucking...

So I'm going to work with the chicken.

So we took the old couple up to the O.R.

So we took the old couple up to the O.R.

So what's happening?

So you wrote your own lines, huh?

So you're not a great actor. Who cares? You're much more than that.

So, each dash represents a thousand years.

So, I went up to the mouth hole and I asked him.

So, who are you?

So?

So...

So...

So... I'll go, uh, do that.

Some drunk kid plowed his old man's pickup...

Son of a bitch, your days are numbered!

Son of a bitch.

Sorry. You're right.

Stop saying we!! There is no we!

Stop smiling. You're freaking me out.

Stop that shit!

Stop viewing the world through your cell phone screen! Have a real experience!

Take a look at page 20.

Take it easy, ed. I know this is hard.

Take it easy, okay? I know this is hard.

Tell me something.

Tell me. Why do I always have to beg people to love me?

Tells me the truth.

Terri, I know you're in there!

Terri!

Thank the lord and pass the biscuits. I finally have an actor to dress.

Thank you for an honest performance. Ray carver.

Thank you for coming out. Thank you. We're expecting some great pieces.

Thank you.

Thank you. I appreciate that support.

Thank you. Your ass is great.

Thanks for coming in on such short notice, Mike.

Thanks for stopping by.

Thanks, Tommy.

Thanks. I appreciate that.

That all say the same thing. I didn't know him.

That clown doesn't have half your talent...

That didn't seem to be a problem for you onstage.

That got her into rehab in the first place.

That guy's an asshole, huh?

That looks nice. Anything but roses.

That means something to who?

That smell.

That was a little too much. It was a little too much.

That was a present from the crew. Don't fuck with them... they're union.

That was amazing!

That was interesting.

That was just me...

That was kind of sweet.

That was p.T. Barnum's premise when he invented the circus...

That was...

That wasn't an accident.

That's a joke, right?

That's a label, too. These are all labels. You just label everything.

That's a shame.

That's amazing. You don't look anything like each other. What do you do?

That's fucking horrible, man. I'm sorry.

That's going over to Ms. Dickinson.

That's going to be Sam's house.

That's good bird, man!

That's good. Give me my cue again.

That's great.

That's how you got me into this shit!

That's not love and you know it. Why do you insist on calling it love?

That's pot. Relax.

That's right, I was... I was just fine.

That's Sam, my daughter.

That's so fucking lazy. You're a lazy fucker.

That's sweet.

That's true. I haven't read a word of it, or even seen a preview...

That's truth.

That's what you always do... you confuse love for admiration.

That's when I knew I was going to be an actor. Right there.

That's why they call them previews. That's where you figure out what the play is.

The blood that has been sorely missing from the veins of American theater...

The button's on the bottom.

The cultural work done in the past by gods and epic sagas...

The husband, the old man, was depressed for the longest time.

The kind of love I'm talking about, you don't try to kill people!

The kind of love that I'm talking about, you don't...

The man was crazy! He was capable of anything!

The money came through. I just need to transfer it into the account.

The one who looks like she licked a homeless man's ass?

The only opinion that matters in New York theater is hers.

The only thing that's real on this stage is this chicken.

The point is, you don't know the guy. We fucking get it.

The reserve is gone!

The studio will call, we're going to get book deals... you'll see.

The truth is always interesting.

The water was full of jellyfish.

Then I'm just standing here with my cock out.

Then we should ask her to leave.

There are things more pathetic than that.

There is a three block line of people waiting for you.

There it goes. I'm sorry.

There's a distance to it all now.

There's nothing in here about technique, about structure...

There's nothing in this milk carton! Your performance is fake.