The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012) Edit

A box without hinges, key or lid

A burglar Hobbit?

A conjurer dabbling in black magic.

A dagger from a bygone age has been found.

A dark and powerful magic.

A darkness has fallen over it.

A dragon attacks Erebor.

A famous blade...

A farmer and his family used to live here.

A life of peace and plenty.

A life that is worth more than all the gold in Erebor.

A Morgul Blade.

A pale Orc, astride a white Warg.

A powerful spell lies upon those tombs.

A relic of Mordor.

A sickness had begun to grow within him.

A sickness lies over the Greenwood.

A single Orc pack...

A sorcerer who can summon the dead.

A young Dwarf prince...

A young Hobbit who would have liked nothing better...

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Actually it wasn't that hard.

After all, what are we?

After the dragon took the Lonely Mountain...

Agreed.

Ah ah ah.

Ah, Frodo. Erebor.

Ah! Help us!

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. Good gracious. Is it today?

Ah. Lindir.

Ah. There's more where that came from.

Airborne fire breather.

All bare of meat

All eyes on the hidden door

All eyes on the hidden door

All of them at once, I suppose.

All of you! Come on, climb! Bilbo, climb!

All skin and bone, he was. I'm still picking bits of him out of me teeth.

All would pay homage to him.

Always you must meddle...

Am I late?

Am I what?

An adventure?

An easy thing to miss.

An old enemy of yours.

And a human sorcerer who calls himself The Necromancer...

And a wonderful game it is too, if you've got the balls for it.

And all who find us will know the tune

And Bombur. That makes 13.

And buried with him.

And can you not do that? You'll blunt them.

And caverns old

And dreams of gold

And Gandalf means...

And he's got a great deal more to offer than any of you know.

And I hope you never have to.

And if I win...

And if it loses? What then?

And if you do...

And in the darkness a torch we hold

And into the fire. Run.

And it still smells of Troll.

And make the day

And my armchair and my garden.

And no small degree of charm.

And not 13 of the best...

And nothing unexpected...

And our enemy...

And out.

And respect.

And so I thought too.

And that is not good at all. Shouldn't we tell Thorin?

And that means good food, a warm hearth...

And that's why I came back. Because...

And the pale Orc?

And they say...

And this is Glamdring...

And thus, the battle was won.

And what did you think?

And where else should I be?

And where sickness thrives...

And while I can honestly say I have told you the truth...

And who is the fifth?

And yet, never grows

And you ask me to seek out the very people who betrayed my grandfather.

And you forget, we have a Wizard in our company.

And you're not a king...

And you're right, I often think of Bag end.

And, while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of Dwarf...

Apology accepted.

Are there any more of you little fellas hiding where you shouldn't?

Are they, indeed? Over my dead body.

Are we? Are we at peace?

As our official burglar, we thought you might like to look into it.

As you know, this sort of artifact sometimes contains hidden text.

At least, nothing good.

Aye, Oin has read the portents...

Aye, the Wild is no place for gentle folk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves.

Aye. He'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye.

AZOG (IN BLACK SPEECH):

Azog the Defiler learned that day...

Azog the Defiler.

Azog.

Back to Rivendell.

Back. Stay back.

Baggins!

Baggins!

Bagginses is stuck.

Bagginses?

Balin, at your service.

Balin, sound the alarm.

BALIN: Aye.

BALIN: Don't mind him, laddie.

BALIN: Is this really necessary?

BALIN: Shove this in the hallway. Otherwise we'll never get everyone in.

BALIN: What is it?

BALIN: Wider, not shorter.

BALIN: You forget, the Front Gate is sealed.

Be a good lad and put that on the gate.

Be careful what you touch.

Bebother and confusticate these Dwarves!

Beg your pardon?

BERT: Just needs a sprinkle of squirrel dung.

BERT: Mutton yesterday, mutton today...

BERT: Shut up.

BERT: What is it?

BERT: Yes? Come on. Tell us the secret. It's, uh...

Bert. Bert! Look what's come out of me hooter.

Better than nothing.

Better than old bones, precious.

Bifur. Bofur. That's 10.

Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce the leader of our company:

Bilbo Baggins, at yours.

Bilbo Baggins.

Bilbo is here. He's quite safe.

BILBO Wait!

BILBO Wait!

Bilbo, my dear fellow, let us have a little more light.

BILBO: Everyone? How many more are there?

BILBO: Hmm?

BILBO: Hmm.

BILBO: Okay.

BILBO: Other Wizards. GANDALF: There are five of us.

BILBO: So...

BILBO: Twice like a barn owl. No, twice like a brown... Once like a...

BILBO: You're going on a quest?

Bilbo. We'd given you up.

Birds, beasts, trees, flowers

Bless us and splash us, precious.

Bofur, Gloin, Nori.

Bofur, take the first watch.

BOFUR: Ale on the count of three!

BOFUR: All right, come on. Quick.

BOFUR: Come on!

BOFUR: Hang on! GLOIN: Hold on, brothers!

BOFUR: Hey. Come on.

BOFUR: I knew you had it in you!

BOFUR: Ooh. Do you hear that, lads?

BOFUR: Set it down. GLOIN: That's good.

BOFUR: Well, that could have been worse.

Bombur, catch!

BOMBUR: Go, go, go!

BOMBUR: Traitor! What do you know about cooking Dwarf?

BOMBUR: Untie me, mister. GLOIN: Eat someone your own size.

Bombur!

Box. The lid and a key.

Bring up the bonebreaker.

Bring up the mangler.

But always he remembered...

But every day it grows in strength.

But home is now behind you.

But I do like to know them before they come visiting.

But if he should side with the enemy...

But if we are careful and clever, I believe that it can be done.

But if you do, remember this:

But it's full of holes.

But our enemy had got there first.

But that is not what I have found.

But the old fortress is abandoned.

But the thing is, I'm not entirely sure you're in the right house.

But the years of peace and plenty were not to last.

But there was no feast...

But we... We only have nine.

But worse are the webs.

By my beard...

By Thrain. For safekeeping.

Call out the guard. Do it now!

Can I help you?

Can we cook him?

Can we eat him too?

Can you read them?

Careful with these. I just had them sharpened.

Caves in the mountain are seldom unoccupied.

Charge!

Chip the glasses and crack the plates

Cold as death Without no breath

Come and get me! Ha, ha!

Come on, Bombur, we're hungry.

Come on, let's go.

Come on! Here! On your feet.

Come on.

Come on. Get him.

Come, then. I won the game. You promised to show me the way out.

Curse it and crush it! We hates it forever!

Curse us and splash us!

Cut off his head!

Cut the cloth, tread on the fat

Cut the ropes!

Dawn ain't far away. Let's get a move on.

Deep within the rock they buried him...

Defeat and death...

Did I not say that you would be a burden?

Did we say so?

Did you know that your great great great great uncle Bullroarer Took...

Do not be afraid, Mithrandir.

Do not speak to me of Radagast the Brown.

Do we know each other?

Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours?

Do you know, I've quite forgotten their names.

Do you wish me a good morning...

Does he offer us insult?

Does it like games? Does it, does it? Does it like to play?

Dol Guldur?

Don't bother cooking them.

DORI: All right, all right. Don't push.

DORI: Come on!

DORI: Come on. GANDALF: Come on, come on. Quickly.

DORI: Faster!

DORI: Get away!

DORI: Hilarious.

DORI: How many, then? What?

DORI: I said it. Didn't I say it? Coming here was a waste of time.

DORI: Ori, be careful! ORI: Take it!

DORI: Ridiculous notion. Use a Hobbit? A Halfling?

DORI: Where's Gandalf?

Down in the deep of Goblin town

Dragon!

Dragon.

Dreadful woman.

Dwalin, at your service.

Dwalin, Balin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur...

DWALIN: And what did the Dwarves of the Iron Hills say?

DWALIN: Come on, move! FILI: Bombur!

DWALIN: Curse that Halfling! Now he's lost?

DWALIN: Get back!

DWALIN: Get off! Get your hands off me! Get off me!

DWALIN: Have you eaten?

DWALIN: Haver!

DWALIN: He's abandoned us.

DWALIN: I cannot see where the pathway leads. Do we follow it or no?

DWALIN: I said have another drink. Here you go.

DWALIN: I won't forget that. I won't forget it.

DWALIN: I've got you, lad. ORI: Grab on! Grab on!

DWALIN: It looks safe enough. THORIN: Search to the back.

DWALIN: It's going!

DWALIN: It's really heavy. No. No. There's nobody home!

DWALIN: Mmm.

DWALIN: No chance. Not from that distance.

DWALIN: Oh, you great galumphing git!

DWALIN: Post!

DWALIN: There's nothing here.

DWALIN: Where do you want this? Oh, no.

DWALIN: You wanna get stuck in? I could eat again if you insist, brother.

Dwalin!

Dwarves, Your Malevolence.

Eggses!

Eight, nine, 10.

ELROND: These runes were written on a Midsummer's Eve...

ELROND: Well, in this case, that is true.

Elves.

Erebor was lost.

Erebor.

Erebor.

Even got as far as Frogmorton once. Aah!

Even the great Elven King, Thranduil.

Ever they delved deeper, down into the dark.

Every crack. Every crevice.

Everything all right? Gandalf, where are you going?

Everything tastes like chicken.

Eww.

Except for the Sackville Bagginses, who are demanding you ask them in person.

Excuse me, that is a doily, not a dishcloth.

Excuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?

Excuse me. Please.

Eyes look east to the mountain, assessing...

Fair enough.

Far to the east...

Fate is with you, Thorin Oakenshield.

Feel a bit faint.

Fiery mountain beneath the moon

Fight!

Fili, Kili. Come on, give us a hand.

FILI: Here you go, Ori. Give it to me.

FILI: If there is a key...

FILI: Now there's 14.

FILI: We may be few in number...

Finish him off. Finish him now!

Fishbones, Goblins' teeth, wet shells, bats' wings...

Five, six, seven, eight.

Flash of light, searing pain, then poof.

Follow it, of course.

Follow me. Quick!

For a dragon will guard his plunder...

For always evil will look to find a foothold in this world.

For dragons covet gold with a dark and fierce desire.

For he had seen dragon fire in the sky...

For home a song

For this city lay before the doors of the greatest kingdom in Middle earth:

For when I called upon them, they answered.

For, quite by chance, and the will of a Wizard...

FRODO: East farthing Woods. I'm going to surprise him.

FRODO: Replies to the party invitations.

FRODO: Right, then. I'm off. Off to where?

From long ago when lanterns burned

From my grandfather to my father, this has come to me.

From out of the darkness...

From racks you'll be hung

Full of the bounties of vine and vale.

GALADRIEL: Show me.

GALADRIEL: You are right to help Thorin Oakenshield.

GALADRIEL: You carry something.

GALADRIEL: You knew.

GALADRIEL: You will follow them. GANDALF: Yes.

Games?!

Gandalf will have killed hundreds of dragons in his time.

Gandalf, for 400 years we have lived in peace...

Gandalf, the enemy is defeated.

GANDALF: And what happened, exactly?

GANDALF: Come on, quickly!

GANDALF: Come on!

GANDALF: Erebor...

GANDALF: For goodness sake, Thorin, show him the map.

GANDALF: Hmm.

GANDALF: Hmm.

GANDALF: Huh?

GANDALF: I'll help you with that.

GANDALF: It's a Troll hoard.

GANDALF: Move!

GANDALF: Oh, very helpful, Bofur.

GANDALF: Oh. Cheers.

GANDALF: Quick, quick!

GANDALF: Radagast.

GANDALF: The dawn will take you all.

GANDALF: To seek the company of the only one around here who's got any sense.

GANDALF: Unnoticed?

GANDALF: Webs? What do you mean?

GANDALF: What on earth is the matter?

GANDALF: Yes, you're quite right, Bifur.

GANDALF: Yes.

GANDALF: Yes.

GANDALF: You'll have to manage without pocket handkerchiefs...

Gandalf!

Gandalf? Not Gandalf the wandering Wizard...

Gandalf.

Gandalf.

Gandalf.

Get a shovel.

Get some sleep.

Get your foot out of my back.

Giants! Stone Giants!

Give him a pony.

Give me a moment, please. I gave you a good long while.

Give us a chance, precious! Give us a chance!

GLOIN: And are you?

GLOIN: Aye, it's not a bad stew, Bombur. I've had worse.

GLOIN: Bombur's on his second leg of lamb already.

GLOIN: Come on now, brother.

GLOIN: Come on, lad. Up you get.

GLOIN: Get off, you big lump!

GLOIN: I thought he was with Dori!

GLOIN: It's all right! They're alive!

GLOIN: Look out, brother!

GLOIN: That's true enough.

GLOIN: Watch your backs! You thought you could escape me.

GLOIN: What is he saying?

GLOIN: You'll pay for this!

Gnaws iron, bites steel

Go away and bother somebody else.

Go on. Give us a number.

Gollum, gollum!

Gollum, gollum!

Gollum, gollum!

Gollum, gollum!

Gollum, gollum! Aah.

GOLLUM: Did we say so, precious?

GOLLUM: Give it to us!

GOLLUM: Too many boneses, precious. Not enough flesh!

GOLLUM: We have one for you.

Good morning.

Good, isn't it?

Got you.

Gotcha.

Grandmother taught us to suck them, yes!

Grinds hard stones to meal

Half wits? What does that make us?

Handses!

Hardly a prelude to war.

Has taken up residence in a ruined fortress.

Have they got any chips?

Haven't seen the back of us yet

Haven't seen the end of it yet

He began...

He doesn't approve of being late. Oh, no.

He found it in Dol Guldur.

He had the nous to play for time.

He has no place amongst us.

He has thought of nothing but his soft bed and his warm hearth...

He is late, is all. He traveled north to a meeting of our kin. He will come.

He is long gone.

He keeps a watchful eye over the vast forest lands...

He looks more like a grocer than a burglar.

He said he's an expert. Hey.

He said there'd be food and lots of it.

He says we'll blunt the knives.

He should never have come.

He slunk back into the hole whence he came.

He stole it!

He stole it!

He stole it.

He swung his club so hard, it knocked the Goblin king's head clean off...

He took it as a sign, a sign that his right to rule was divine.

He was slain in battle long ago.

He'll give us quite a show, you'll see.

He's a foolish fellow.

He's a gentle soul who prefers the company of animals to others.

He's been a long time.

He's been lost ever since he left home.

He's got Myrtle and Minty.

He's hardly burglar material.

He's lying.

Heh, heh. Hardly the stuff of legend.

Hello, girl. Who's a good girl?

Hello?

Help yourself.

Help?

Her fate unknown

Here, do us a favor. Take this to the lads.

Here, Mr. Gandalf, can't you do something about this deluge?

Here, that's my grog.

Here.

Here.

His armor rent...

His eye was set on another prize.

Hmm.

Hmm. And a good one too. An expert, I'd imagine.

Hmm. It's just that, um, I wasn't expecting company.

Hmm. Seems fair.

Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet.

Hold on!

Hold on!

Hold your ground!

How came you by this?

How did you come by these?

How on earth did you get past the Goblins?

How, indeed.

Hurry now! Arm yourselves!

I am a Baggins of Bag end.

I am old now, Frodo.

I can ask no more than that.

I can't just go running off into the blue.

I can't take this.

I did not give you that map and key for you to hold onto the past.

I did not know that they were yours to keep.

I did.

I do believe the worst is behind us.

I do believe you made that up.

I do not believe Thorin Oakenshield feels that he is answerable to anyone.

I do not believe we have met.

I do not feel I can condone such a quest.

I do not know.

I do not pretend to understand your reason for raising their hopes.

I don't fancy being turned to stone.

I don't know this one.

I don't know. But I don't like the way it wriggles around.

I don't like green food.

I don't like the stinky parts.

I don't understand why it's not working.

I don't want any trouble, do you understand?

I don't want to get used to them.

I followed their trail.

I have found it is the small things...

I have never been so glad to see anyone in my life.

I have never been so wrong in all my life.

I have never used a sword in my life.

I have told you already...

I knew Thror when he ruled Under the Mountain.

I know someone who would pay a pretty price for your head.

I know that sword! It is the Goblin cleaver!

I lost my way, twice.

I miss my books.

I must speak with Lord Elrond.

I need air.

I remember a young Hobbit who was always running off in search of Elves in the woods.

I said...

I saw him, Gandalf.

I shall inform the others.

I signed it.

I suggest you try Over the Hill or Across the Water.

I think he's a very great Wizard, in his own way.

I think I saw him slip away when they first collared us.

I think it is time for you to know...

I think it would be wiser to move on.

I think that would be wise.

I think they're gonna eat them. We have to do something.

I thought we'd lost our burglar.

I thought you said this place would be easy to find.

I want to play. I can see...

I was entirely respectable.

I was looking for you, Gandalf.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

I won't tell you what they've done in the bathroom.

I would take each and every one of these Dwarves...

I would think I was talking to myself for all the attention that he paid.

I wouldn't bother, laddie. Swords are named for the great deeds they do in war.

I wouldn't have found it at all had it not been for that mark on the door.

I'd like to see them try.

I'll be all right. Just let me sit quietly for a moment.

I'll draw them off.

I'll give him a taste of Dwarfish iron right up his jacksie!

I'll skin you, you little...!

I'll use this if I have to.

I'm a burglar... Uh, Hobbit.

I'm Gandalf.

I'm just saying, a little appreciation would be nice.

I'm looking for someone to share in an adventure.

I'm not a hero or a warrior.

I'm not actually sure it is a sword.

I'm not afraid. I'm up for it.

I'm not convinced, Gandalf.

I'm not the same Hobbit I once was.

I'm not, though, am I?

I'm simply doing what I feel to be right.

I'm sorry, do I know you?

I'm warning you, don't come any closer.

I've eaten plenty with their skins on.

I've eaten plenty with their skins on.

I've got parasites as big as my arm.

I've warned him.

If Baggins loses, we eats it whole.

If they'd come to me, I might have spared them this disappointment.

If this is some clot head's idea of a joke...

If we are to be successful, this will need to be handled with tact.

If you run into trouble, hoot twice like a barn owl and once like a brown owl.

If you wish to change the weather of the world, you should find yourself another Wizard.

In a hole in the ground...

In fact, they all have. They're infested with parasites.

In fact, they can pass unseen by most, if they choose.

In slumbers deep

In the Battle of Green Fields, he charged the Goblin ranks.

In those days, I was always on time.

Including himself.

Indeed? He made no mention of you.

Inform the who? What? No. No. No... Wait.

Is Dain with us?

Is he a great Wizard? Or is he more like you?

Is it scrumptious?

Is it soft? Is it juicy?

Is our kingdom a distant light

Is taller than trees?

Is that what I think it is?

It appears we have lost our burglar.

It began long ago...

It began...

It came to you from Radagast.

It cannot be.

It is mine to protect, as are its secrets.

It is not me you must answer to.

It is raining, Master Dwarf...

It is the legacy of my people.

It is the shadow of an ancient horror.

It is the start of the Dwarves' new year, when the last moon of autumn...

It is unbefitting one of the Istari to be wandering the woods...

It is yours now.

It matters. I want to know.

It was a sickness of the mind.

It was given to me by your father.

It was right there on the tip of my tongue.

It was taken from you.

It will not show itself.

It would seem you were meant to come to Rivendell.

It'll be very good for you...

It'll help settle your nerves.

It's a silly old...

It's a tad excessive, isn't it? Have you got a cheese knife?

It's a terrible business. I wouldn't risk it. I really wouldn't.

It's a thunder battle!

It's all right.

It's good to eat

It's got a fruity bouquet.

It's got an Elfish blade. But it's not an Elfs.

It's got arms and legs and everything.

It's horse hair. Having a reaction.

It's mainly academic.

It's not as if it's witchcraft.

It's not fair! It's against the rules!

It's not that I don't like visitors. I like visitors as much as the next Hobbit.

It's not that. It's his excessive consumption of mushrooms.

It's nothing. Nothing.

It's our little secret, Myrtle.

It's ours!

It's ours.

It's out there.

It's perfectly safe. We'll be behind you.

It's something very big and possibly quite dangerous.

It's stuck.

It's supposed to look like that. It's crochet.

It's wind. Of course it is.

Its markets known far and wide.

Its wealth lay in the earth...

Just a head.

Just a minute. Uh...

Just give me a minute.

Just show me the way to get out of here and I'll be on my way.

Just you and me.

KILI: Come on! Get up!

KILI: Daisy and Bungo are missing.

KILI: He's just fine.

KILI: One more. OIN: Thanks, lad.

KILI: We had 16.

KILI: We're riddled. ORI: Yes, I'm riddled.

KILI: What's happening? FILI: Grab my hand!

Kill them all!

Knife! Oh, shut up!

Lady Galadriel.

Last chance.

Last question.

LAUGHS)

Lay down your arms...

Leave the bones on the bedroom mat

Leave us standing upon the height

Let him speak.

Let me think.

Let the flurgaburburhobbit talk.

Let them all go?

Let us examine what we know.

Let's just sit on them and squash them into jelly.

Like a... Are you sure this is a good idea?

LINDIR: Mithrandir.

Look at the state of my kitchen. There's mud trod into the carpet.

Look out!

Look out!

Look, I don't know what your game is, but I...

Look, I know you doubt me. I know you always have.

Look!

Look.

Lost!

Lost?

Lost?

Lost?

Make him squeal!

Make sure you keep an eye on her after I'm...

Make you late for dinner. Heh, heh.

MAN: He didn't.

Mark? There's no mark on that door. It was painted a week ago.

Master Baggins saw his chance and he took it.

May I tempt you with a cup of chamomile?

May it serve you well.

Maybe.

Me? No. No, no, no. I'm not a burglar. I've never stolen a thing in my life.

Merchants, miners...

Might be enough for a pie.

Mightiest of the Dwarf Lords.

Mine are the biggest parasites. I've got huge parasites.

Mithrandir?

Mithrandir.

Mm. Huh.

Mmm.

Moon runes can only be read by the light of a moon...

Moon runes?

More of a letter opener, really.

Moria had been taken by legions of Orcs...

Most of them bet that you wouldn't.

Mountain Trolls are slow and stupid, and you're so small, they'll never see you.

Mouthless mutters

Move!

Mr. Gandalf? A little glass of red wine, as requested.

Must be returned

My dear Bilbo, what on earth is the matter?

My dear fellow, I never doubted you for a second.

My name is Bilbo Baggins.

My precious is lost!

My precious. Wait!

Nasty business.

Nasty Goblinses!

Nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things.

Necks will be wrung

NECROMANCER: Radagast.

NEIL FINN (SINGING): Far over the misty mountains rise

Nice and crunchy.

No help came from the Elves that day...

No idea you were still in business.

No one, I swear.

No such power exists in this world.

No, Gandalf.

No, I don't imagine anyone west of Bree would have much interest in adventures.

No, I would have doubted me too.

No, I'm afraid there is nothing else for it.

No, Master Gloin, he's offering you food.

No, no, that won't be necessary.

No, no, you can't turn back now, eh?

No, thank you.

No, that's Grandpa Mungo's chair... No, so is that. Take it back, please.

No, wait, wait, stop.

No, you did the same thing.

No, you don't. You don't understand. None of you do.

No!

No!

No!

No!

No! Kili!

No! No more riddles.

No! No!

No! No. No.

No.

No. He isn't.

No. I want to play. I do.

No. No fires. Not in this place.

No. No, no, no.

None of the rest of you thought of that.

Nope.

Nope.

Nor were they made by any smith among Men.

Nor will I be responsible for his fate.

Nor, for that matter, am I.

NORI: Dori could've cooked it. Ha ha ha.

NORI: Good lad, Ori! Sit down.

NORI: Here, who are you calling dim?

NORI: Oh, what's that stench?

NORI: Thorin!

NORI: Whoop! Mind out. Yes. Ah.

Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole full of worms and oozy smells.

Not for me.

Not ready for what?

Not really dressed for dinner.

Not since a darker power ruled these lands.

Not that I ever was.

Not that I ever was.

Not the jam, please. Excuse me. Excuse me.

Not when he's skinned and boned.

Not yet.

Nothing grows any more.

Nothing wrong with a bit of raw Dwarf.

Now ask us another one.

Now, a Necromancer. Are you sure?

Odd? Oh. Hm.