The Wedding Planner Edit

A brick fell on it when she was little. It never grew back.

A deeper love than I could ever hope for.

A limestone penis.

A little bit.

A little depressing, isn't it?

A little fire.

A little tense?

A man of my very own!

A man who, when he walked into rehearsal dinner the other day...

A man who, while you were away having meetings about mozzarella, said to me...

A movie sounds good." Plus he got an invitation.

A partner.

A poor man's Wendy.

A walk. Come on.

A well chosen sculpture can help enhance the tone and theme of the ceremony.

After all the weddings we've done together, now finally it's your turn.

After my mom died, my dad became, like, obsessed with the game...

Alert.

All right now, wedding woman.

All right, if this is what you want, then I'm I'm fine with it.

All right?

All right? You okay?

All right.

All right.

All right. Hold up! All right.

All right. Places, everyone.

All those people.

All your theories on love sound like the rantings of a bitter, cynical woman.

Already today, I've eaten three boxes.

American dish.

An arranged marriage?

And an opportunity presented itself.

And another thing.

And as previously discussed in detail, you won't be singing at the wedding.

And because I am a goddamn professional!

And closer

And even hosted a Vegas night at her sorority house.

And even if I did, I'm not the one who's engaged.

And friends listen when friends are not feeling so good...

And grilled cheese sandwiches.

And he looked good.

And I

And I act like a fool.

And I am her fiiance.

And I can predict down to the week how long a couple's going to last.

And I don't have time for people.

And I know every feck of gold in your eyes.

And I know that that night in the park...

And I smell like sweet red plums and grilled cheese sandwiches.

And I was only half serious about the teal bridesmaid thing.

And I will observe.

And I will take care of you and be true to you...

And I'm Fran.

And I'm gonna marry the wrong guy.

And I'm in heaven. Now you can fix me up with her.

And I'm sick of it.

And I'm sorry, what I said about your marriage being doomed to fail.

And if you answer no...

And introducing me to all you wonderful people.

And it hit me that this isn't going to work.

And it kind of stayed with me.

And Laredo walked out

And neither of you got married today?

And none of those mini egg rolls. A lot of important people are coming.

And now goes by the name Sugar Pie deSanto?

And she heard that, she'd wish she was dead.

And she loves you.

And she stayed by my side.

And sweet smile

And the bride is a widow whose father recently had a sex change operation...

And the good news is, I have the wine!

And the same dark hair.

And they're gonna have a baby.

And wanted me to play with him all the time...

And we'll be ready.

And Wendy was his high school girlfriend.

And what about the bride and groom to be?

And who is this?

And you didn't get married? She's not married?

And you have the love of a man named Steve.

And you look ten times better than she did.

And you?

And you'll buy him new socks and a white briefcase.

And you'll live happily ever after.

And you'll take care of him.

And your head was too big for your body.

And your mother wanted nothing to do with me.

And, like this house I built for your dolls...

Another plus is that their chefis rated one of the three best on the West Coast.

Anyway, one day...

Anyway, you know him. Remember Massimo?

Are you aware that Fran has chosen teal for her bridesmaids?

Are you experiencing any dizziness, nausea, difficulty breathing?

Are you guys crazy? This isn't funny!

Are you kidding me?

Are you mad with me?

Are you Nancy Pong?

Are you okay?

Are you ready?

Are you sure you don't know a shortcut?

As a friend, I want to make for you a wonderful...

As I walked out on

As in

As soon as dad mentioned it, I went, "Of course."

At 1 :00 at the north side YMCA.

At least I can spell. What can you do?

Bad.

Ballroom class.

Basil himself is gonna be here today.

Be my wife, Mary Fiore...

Be quiet.

Beautiful.

Because he is so good to me.

Because he's nothing! Because I love a challenge!

Because she needs to find her own life.

Because she's going out of town tomorrow...

Because someone once said that...

Because there's somewhere I've gotta be.

Because they want their new money to be taken very seriously.

Because you deserve this partnership. You've earned it!

Because?

Because?

Believe me, back then she did not look so good.

Boo!

Bottom line?

Bottom line?

Bottom line? Nothing happened.

Buddy Burt. Salvatore.

Burt's right. Yes, Mary, I would love to dance.

But at least you wouldn't have to cut the guest list.

But deep down, I knew better.

But I know the curves of your face...

But if you ever need to borrow a cup of sugar...

But it's not as great as something greater?

But Massimo said you announced your engagement.

But maybe you might love him later.

But most of the time I think...

But sometimes a father has to take action.

But that would not be true to my heart.

But the spirit of it, the time.

But then I realized Eddie and I don't have a wedding song.

But thoughtfully and seriously...

But when I dance, I look like a retarded string bean.

But you have more than great thighs.

But you're right.

But, Fran

Bye bye, girls.

C O O L.

Call Davis and tell him we need a rush order on the Chuppa rental.

Can you imagine Eddie CEO of a major medical foundation?

Candle light.

Careful.

Champagne is delightful. Cristal? d.P.?

Change her fax cartridge tonight...

Close friends and family.

College.

Come here. Here we go. Stand up.

Come on, Mary. What the hell is your problem?

Come on!

Come on! Goddamn it.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Open up your presents.

Come on. We're gonna try and get up. Take your time.

Come on. You can't leave me hanging on that.

Congratulations, you guys. I love you both.

Congratulations!

Cover me up north. The FOB is MIA.

Dad would love it.

Dad, I want my house key back. dad, dad, please.

Dad, put that back!

Dad, you cannot push some guy at me.

Damn it.

Dance. Dance!

Dark Tower demolished.

Darling, I understand you're busy. I'm busy too.

Darn it. I just remembered that I promised...

Did I leave anything out?

Did you ever like somebody, but the timing was off?

Discretion.

Do not leave me alone. Please.

Do you have plans for dinner?

Do you see why I'm marrying this guy?

Don't " Franny" me, you selfish bastard!

Don't appear to have a concussion.

Don't dance around the issue. You didn't show 'cause you don't wanna get married.

Don't get me wrong. It's a fine neck.

Don't let her out of your sight.

Don't tell me what to do.

Don't what?

Don't worry, Papa.

Dubounce Botanical Gardens.

Eat.

Eddie, come here.

Eddie, this is Mary, the wedding planner.

Eddie, what on earth

Enjoy the wedding from way back here.

Enough friends to give you comfort.

Enough friends to give you comfort...

Enough hope to keep you happy...

Enough trials to keep you strong...

Ever?

Everybody knows that it's the place to get married.

Everything is gonna be fine. It's a no brainer.

Exactly!

Excuse me, Mary. We can't find the father of the bride.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Exotic waringin trees imported from Bali.

Fabulous!

Fabulous.

Faster.

Father, you're gonna have to hold it.

Fine.

First of all, Steve likes the movies.

For he's a jolly good fellow

For he's a jolly good fellow

For he's a jolly good fellow

For the first time...

Fran said to go forward with the violet chocolate

Fran wants statues at the wedding.

Francine Donolly.

Friday? Friday's not good for me. I have a diverticulitis seminar planned.

Friend's brother's godmother is gonna be okay.

From now on, he'll take care of you...

From now on, I'll no longer bother you. We will be just friends.

From this valley

Go on. Get out of here. We're starting any minute.

Go toast the bagel.

Good for you!

Good morning.

Good morning. Earth to Mary.

Good move, honey.

Good night, Mary.

Good.

Good. Then I'll put in that order today.

Goodness, I hope her...

Great!

Guess what, Miss Moneypenny?

Hang on a minute, Fran.

Hang on, Mary!

Hang on. Hang on.

Hang on. I can't hear you. Wait a second. I can't hear you.

Have a seat. Make yourself comfortable. Mary's gonna be fine.

Have no fear. dance. dance.

He does. He just doesn't know it yet.

He has a hard time leaving people behind.

He said they were just friends...

He saves your life. You dance under the stars.

He tried to measure me for a wedding dress.

He wants to give up his patients?

He will just die.

He'll make you big baloney sandwiches...

He's a doctor. Well, I get the hint.

He's married...

He's not menacing. He's masculine.

He's out buying the balloons for Burt's birthday party.

He's right.

He's so cute.

He's Steve. He's the one.

He's the protector.

Her family sold gourmet sausages out of the working class kitchen.

Her fiance?

Herb Martin's daughter? Forget it. This place is out.

Here it is. You were right.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go. I got you. I got you.

Here's the skinny on you.

Hey, guys, we're on. Come on, put your jackets on.

Hey, Mary, what do you want on your bagel?

Hey, that's the doc!

Hey, wedding woman, you did some job.

Hey, what are you doing?

Hi there. Here we go.

Hi, bunny. Wedding woman.

Hi, dad. Wait.

Hi, ma'am. You're in the preferred seating list.

Hi. How you doing? I'm Steve Edison.

Hickory, dickory, dock. The mouse ran up the clock.

Hide me. Did you talk to him?

Hold his peace.

Hold it there, please. Thank you. Here we go. We're in.

Hold on a moment.

Hold on the right. Hold!

Hold on, Penny.

Hold on.

Hold that position. Here we go.

Holy shit!

Hope he didn't spit on the cake.

Horsey! Horsey! Horsey!

How about a quick recap here, Mary?

How about this beauty?

How convenient.

How cute is he?

How did we let it get this far?

How do you do it? I was more than four years off.

How do you word an invitation...

How long you known Mary?

How nice to see you.

How nice. Thank you.

How'd you get into it? I've never met a member of a Scrabble Club before.

How'd you guys meet?

I agree with you about the small wedding.

I already made contact. They're coming to the Copeland wedding to see my work.

I always pictured a small wedding myself.

I am Basil St. Mosely.

I am completely confused. Why are you doing this?

I am measuring you for your wedding dress.

I am thinking teal for the bridesmaids. What do you think?

I appreciated her.

I barely know you.

I bring in more revenue than all of your other wedding planners combined.

I built this business on my back.

I bumped into him on New Arrivals Night at the Sicilian Association.

I came back early.

I can do this. I can plan this wedding.

I can treat that jackass like any other faceless groom.

I can't believe I'm marrying the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

I can't believe I'm marrying the most incredible woman I've ever met."

I can't believe it. We have a song.

I can't go through with this wedding.

I can't hear you. Hang on. All right. Okay, I got you.

I can't help you...

I can't stand the way he chews on pen caps...

I could never forgive myself if ever I got in the way of Mary's true love.

I did things a little, innocent wedding planner shouldn't even hear about.

I did, 15 minutes ago.

I didn't mean to call you bitter and cynical. You're not.

I don't feel anything about love.

I don't know if you ever wore braces or contacts or glasses.

I don't know your dad's first name.

I don't know, Fran. I've been so out of the dating relationship loop.

I don't know, maybe I was just being a guy...

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. I haven't danced in quite some time.

I don't know. Where is she? Where is Mary? Somebody take me to Mary.

I don't think it's a mistake to marry Fran. Fran is great.

I don't trust a man who gets regular pedicures.

I don't want to get married.

I don't want you to think

I found it.

I found you a man who has agreed to marry you.

I got very sick with scarlet fever...

I got you, okay?

I got you! I got you!

I gotta get out of here.

I gotta tell Geri I'm off the account.

I guess we sort of do.

I had to go through your wallet to get your identification.

I have a 20 on the FOB.

I have a better nickname for you. How about common, cheating, sleazy

I have no idea how you came to be a wedding planner, Mary.

I have to take this call.

I have totally lost control. Will you please, please, please help me?

I haven't thought about what I really want in so long.

I honestly love you

I honestly love you

I just need a second.

I just want for us to be buddy buddy.

I just wasn't enough.

I knew I'd be good at this.

I know Fran.

I know I never done the right thing, I never say the right thing...

I know I say we're just buddy buddy friends...

I know what I'm doing.

I know who you're looking for. They're right downstairs.

I know. We had to change it. But this is perfect.

I look forward to our life together.

I love you

I love you

I love you

I made the big plans, okay? I made the sacrifiices.

I made this for you.

I may be a hell of a businesswoman...

I mean, let's see, maybe I was a little unsure about the whole marriage thing.

I met someone who I thought was

I must say, I've never met anyone who alphabetized her credit cards before.

I nailed it, Geri. Yeah, but they want it in three months.

I never said I didn't like it.

I never said that.

I never thought I'd see you again.

I only eat the brown ones.

I promise you.

I really like it, dad.

I remember her graduation from nursery school...

I remember...

I respect her.

I saw you three days later, and you still had stars in your eyes.

I should go do that.

I should've told you about your mother and I a long time ago.

I still do more chin ups than you!

I suppose they'd like to see the gardens first. don't you think, Mary?

I suppose they'd like to see the gardens first. don't you think, Mary?

I sweat, I toiled.

I take you. Come on.

I think all the blood is rushing to my head and I'm gonna faint.

I think she needs more fluids.

I think that covers all the high points.

I think that's adorable.

I think you know what I'm talking about.

I think you're being kind.

I thought I could control everything, and I can't.

I thought that we had everything covered...

I thought your class wasn't till Thursday though.

I tried to ignore the signs.

I wanna go home.

I want three sons and a garden of tomatoes.

I want to apologize for any madness I caused you.

I want to dance...

I want to tell you something.

I want to thank Salvatore for taking me into his life...

I want you to meet the wedding planner.

I was in a meeting talking about Boccolino mozzarella...

I was in love with another girl...

I was just a stand in.

I was just in the right place at the right time.

I was meeting Fran and our wedding planner, which you turned out to be.

I was the bookworm, she was the wild child, and she picked me.

I was thinking wrong. I was being a jackass. Come on, Steve.

I was. You caught me. I admit it.

I will deport you.

I will make sure you have a strong roof over your head.

I won't even say it.

I would hate to be a single gal with all those creeps running around out there.

I would say, based on the evidence...

I wouldn't exactly call it a rescue.

I'd better go.

I'd kill for Tracy's thighs."

I'd like all my lovely couples, dancing partners, paired up in twos...

I'd never get emotionally involved.

I'd really like to just pick apart your brain.

I'll be faxing you a list of the songs I'll be performing at the reception.

I'll have to call you back. Okay. Bye.

I'll take some Slit My Wrists Susans...

I'll walk you to the door.

I'm a control freak...

I'm a magnet for unavailable men...

I'm a member of the Bay Area Scrabble Club.

I'm confused. Is it the doctor, or did you fall for the groom?

I'm fat!

I'm gonna get you over this Keith thing once and for all!

I'm gonna kill Mary for leaving me all alone here.

I'm gonna nail this account.

I'm gonna say something that you may be a little resistant to...

I'm great.

I'm her father. Who the hell are you?

I'm just all grown up now.

I'm mad at you.

I'm not different. How am I different?

I'm not fixing you up, Dr.John. Look, this is complicated enough.

I'm not following in Herb Martin's shoddy footsteps.

I'm not making any sense.

I'm not smiling. Am I smiling?

I'm paralyzed. I'm paralyzed!

I'm really sorry that we're not gonna be able to have that...

I'm so happy! The nurse found my phone number taped to your Palm Pilot.

I'm so lucky to have a father like you.

I'm sorry about Napa.

I'm sorry, Mary. Hi.

I'm starting a non profit pediatric foundation. I want Eddie to head it up.

I'm Steve Edison. Nice to meet you too.

I'm sure he doesn't always do the right thing.

I'm talking about your wedding planner leaving me here all alone...

I'm the doctor. I'm in love with Mary.

I'm the supervising pediatrician here.

I'm thinking Gatsby.

I'm your doctor. Try not to talk.

I've been blind. I didn't want to see it.

I've been doing this a long time...

I've been with him so long, I don't even know why we're together anymore.

I've discovered something.

If anyone can show just cause...

If her mother was alive...

If I nailed the Donolly account and you made me a partner...

If you really love me, I'll put this cummerbund on right now...

If you're moving your arms and legs, you're clearly not paralyzed.

If you're not interested in Jed...

If you're thinking

If your answer is yes...

If your answer is yes...

In matrimony.

In my car.

In this great, big, thriving metropolis.

Interesting.

Is Eddie gonna be the last man that I sleep with...

Is hall miss your bright eyes

Is not only gonna work...

Is this a trick?

Is this the guy who saved you?

Isn't a fairy tale...

It drives me nuts, how he hikes up his left pant leg after he's eaten too much.

It is a low budget wonder.

It is wonderful.

It made me look like a psychotic poodle.

It was a dance.

It was more my dad trying to get us together.

It was. I was running late.

It'll be the social event of the season.

It's "going," honey.

It's a good thing I didn't marry him.

It's getting late.

It's gonna last forever.

It's gonna last forever.

It's just that haven't had a patient over the age of six in three years.

It's just that...

It's kinda cute.

It's Mary Fiore, 7H.

It's my firm belief we must conquer one's fears.

It's not a date!

It's not something that can be swept away in one night with one dance.

It's okay.

It's okay. Penny, I want you to meet the Donollys.

It's only been six years.

It's really a funny story.

It's simple.

It's the doctor.

Jerk.

Jesus.

Jezebel was the only queen in the Bible to be eaten by dogs.

Just for a few minutes. He is so adorable.

Just take your time. Sit up straight. You okay?

Just terribly, terribly...

Just the some thing something

Just the some thing something

Keep to areas A, B and E. I don't want any interference with the video team.

Keith Richmond. My wife Wendy.

Kinda not.

Let me explain. It's not what you think.

Let me pray, let me pray.

Let me see. What font would I use?

Let's get down to brass tacks.

Let's go. Inside.

Let's see who that is.

Let's see.

Like a fool.

Like it was yesterday.

Like me!

Listen to me.

Listen, they're gonna be signing up for six classes.

Listen...

Look at me.

Look at me.

Look on the positive side. He got you to open up again.

Look, I've been here for five years, Geri.

Look, there's the wedding planner.

Look, they see this as their ticket into the club.

Look. A center for the physical fitness.

Love can't always be perfect.

Love is just love.

Love isn't like some enchanted evening...

Maestro, on three.

Manly bonding. You and me.

Maria, I know I'm a pain in the neck. I just want you to be happy.

Maria, I look in your eyes and it hurts my insides.

Maria, wait.

Married, you know, like what you're supposed to be doing.

Married?

Mary, I think you're wrong.

Mary, meet my parents, Kitty and Jack.

Mary, this is my fiance Eddie.

Mary, watch out for his thumb. He hurt it saving some old lady.

Mary, what are you doing here?

Mary, would you like to dance?

Mary, you have no idea what you're talking about.

Mary, you're engaged!

Massimo Lenzetta, the little boy you played with the summer we were in Italy?

Massimo, we are not going to be together like that. Okay?

Massimo's a good man.

May you have enough happiness to keep you sweet...

Maybe he wanted to be a doctor. Besides, you do have a vagina.

Maybe then you'd feel differently about love.

Maybe you don't like him now...

Maybe you should be there.

Me neither.

Medium well.

Mismo, Massimo or any other kind of"mo."

Miss?

Mom, would you please shut up!

Mother, we're not guests. You're not supposed to be drinking the champagne.

Mr. Donolly. Hello, Mrs. Donolly.

Mr. Kotsioupolis, you cannot throw plates at the Ritz fucking Carlton!

My entire universe.

My fiance has got to see this.

My friend's brother's godmother...

My girl's gonna knock 'em dead. Aren't you, sluggo?

My God, this is like the blind date that wouldn't end.

My God.

My hand. You fell on it with your big neck.

My last bride who chose teal got her marriage annulled in 12 days.

My last name is Edison. Fran calls me Eddie. It's a nickname.

My life.

My little girl's getting married today.

My mom used to say that.

My mother put me in ballroom classes...

My new Gucci shoe.

My next Scrabble match is Saturday...

My shoe.

My, this is hard to push all by myself.

Nancy Pong? 2C?

Nancy Pong.

Natural. It's not chemistry, it's anxiety.

Never better.

Never. Never.

Nice to meet you, Wendy.

Nice to meet you. Thanks for the dance. We'll let you know how it all goes.

Night.

No bagel. No wedding dress. No wedding.

No tricks. I'm very serious.

No wedding?

No, he didn't.

No, I challenge you. " Earwax" is two words.

No, I don't.

No, I'm not even on duty tonight.

No, it's wistful and romantic.

No, no, no, you're wrong.

No, no, please. Everyone, I want to make some toast.

No, of course not.

No, she was a bookie, actually.

No, that's my sister. I guess you could say she's modern.

No, the doctor is the groom. The groom is the doctor.

No, you weren't a mess.

No. What are you talking about? You cannot give the whole wedding to me.

No. Who?

Not a period wedding...

Not at all.

Not gonna happen.

Not my good shoes.

Nothing like a well balanced diet.

Nothing. It's nothing.

Now talk to me. How are you feeling?

Now we can finally get rid of this.

Now you have the nerve to call me smug?

Now, I have to gauge what I am dealing with...

Now, more than ever, I believe Fran is the one for me.

Obviously, what we have here, people, is a fear of dancing.

Of course she wants you to go.

Of course you're right.

Of its obligations and responsibilities.

Off the top of my head...

Oh, are you okay? Are you okay?

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, I've been meaning to ask you, speaking of love...

Oh, look. It's starting.

Oh, Mom, come here.

Oh, my God, Mary, I cannot believe you didn't tell us you were engaged.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I'm so embarrassed.

Oh, my God. You could've been killed.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, my.

Oh, nicely done.

Oh, no, no, no. Count to 100 and start again, okay?

Oh, no!

Oh, no.

Oh, no. He looked old.

Oh, oh, and "I Honestly Love You" as your wedding song?

Oh, thank you, Sheila.

Oh, that's Yeah.

Oh, that's disgusting.

Oh, the park's great.

Oh, yeah, the gayest.

Oh, you don't want me to go?

Oh, you think we can be friends just like that?

Oh, you're gay.

Oh.

Okay then.

Okay, a little bit more.

Okay, here we go.

Okay, I'm losing you again. I'm sorry.

Okay, Rene?

Okay, we can talk after the wedding.

Okay, well.

Okay, you are fantastic.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Bye.

Okay. Here you go.

Okay. No, no!

Okay. Then why'd you ask me to dance?

Olivia Newton John. I love this song.

On an African safari.

On our honeymoon.

On the beach somewhere. Cool, salty breeze.

On the count of three. One, two, three!

On the night of our rehearsal dinner, I found them making out.

On the streets with me

Once I walked out on the streets of Laredo

Ooh, Murdoch.

Oops.

Or even love at first sight.

Or the songs that he sings in the shower.

Over here is where the actual ceremony would take place.

Papa.

Penny Nicholson. Nice to meet you.

Penny, go to M 12. We have a dark Tower choking the AV.

Penny, if you can't beat 'em

Penny, stop flirting. We're going in one.

Pick him up before somebody sees.

Pierre, I love you, but if you use another carnation in my bouquet...

Please go away.

Please say something.

Please, don't ask.

Please, Mary, you're totally gonna get the account.

Pronto, people. I'd like us to still beyoung when this class is over.

Pull on the reins!

Puts them in the 14 month divorce range.

Quickly, people. Get your tootsies out here, pronto.

Quickly, people. Get your tootsies out here, pronto.

Quickly. Is there a problem in the room?

Ready to dance, not next week, not tomorrow, but now.

Really, you're incredible.

Really?

Really.

Red River Valley

Respect grew to like.

Roses.

Run like a man!

Run!

Said, "I can't believe she picked me.

Same.

Saturday. All right, Mary? Thanks for everything.

Scrabble practice?

See you at the Scrabble practice, kid.

See, Keith...

Seventy two points.

Shame on me.

She does not love me. She loves you, Steve.

She even took time to freeze mint leaves and raspberries in ice cubes.

She had no nail on her little fiinger. I don't remember why.

She had the same big smile...

She must lead such a romantic life.

She said I had big eye brows and a low IQ

She single handedly established...

She threw my bridal shower for me.

She told me what happened, and

She took good care of me.