The Stepford Wives Edit

A black family's moving into town.

A change for the better, Walter.

A German Virgo. Their thing is, you know, to serve.

A lot of little ones? Is that fair to say? I mean, is that what you're...?

A messy kitchen. It's beautiful. A home away from home.

Absolutely not.

Absolutely unbelievable.

Actually, we moved here about two months ago,

Admit it, Joanna, I was a joke.

After...

Ah, yes.

All he wanted to do was to please me.

All I ever thought about before was just me.

All of them in the Association.

All of them.

All right, ladies? Got everything you want?

All right, Mommy.

All right, now listen.

All right, you just stay in there, then.

All right?

All right. Bye bye.

All right. Here we go.

All right. Why don't we write the state environmental agency

All right. You're right. Look, that was rude of me.

All they did was sort of confirm my feelings.

Am I crazy?

Amy?

And a lot of thinking.

And after four months there, be told by my sweet wife we got to move again

And because it's safe, and because I can warm my ass by a real fire.

And believe me, if that's the prize, I'd enter,

And believe me, they'll survive.

And Bobby, my best friend, changed in four months,

And Charmaine changed in four months and ripped up her tennis court.

And Ed joins this Men's Association.

And faked her up to his room.

And give him a hand.

And have them check the water in the reservoir.

And he blamed the city and all its pressures.

And he doesn't have to worry about getting lost.

And he doesn't want to spend his life moving from one house to another.

And he hated any sort of violence. But I kept it going.

And he put his hands on her boobs?

And he's nothing.

And I bet even in Scarsdale, it'd take 45 minutes. Six minutes or so.

And I don't even wanna think what that means.

And I don't know what's going on.

And I found you'd already been looking at a house.

And I found you'd already made a down payment.

And I give him a good home.

And I gotta pay for a new mailbox for the Van Sants.

And I have to tell you

And I know what I'm gonna say is gonna sound crazy,

And I mean, if they're way above average or any good at all,

And I think maybe it's the best I've ever done. And I wanna stick with it.

And I thought there might be something in the water.

And I'm here all the time. I...

And I'm here, and I'm on the New Projects committee.

And if I'm right, it's worse than if I'm wrong.

And if it's hard on the kids,

And in a few days,

And it could be making its way to us.

And it's got some chemical tranquilliser in it and... Well, read.

And it's quite obvious you've already joined.

And labs. Who knows what?

And lke was there, and...

And now he's going to get it.

And now I want to move out.

And once, by mistake, I happened to hear them making love,

And reminisce about the good old days.

And she was carrying on incredibly, like he was some kind of God's gift.

And so have all those other women's club members.

And that can hurt.

And that doesn't leave me with a whole lot of extra time.

And that was Mrs Frank.

And that's that.

And that's what convinced me.

And the Easy On people asked me would I do a commercial,

And the housewife with the neatest place

And the tag sale together at the same time.

And the women all look neat and pretty.

And then get it to a trustworthy chemist.

And then you don't talk to me.

And there were only 13 in El Paso.

And they asked me if I wanted to join. And I said, yes, I did.

And this guy is still in New York, then he's our man.

And this here's easy to operate. Just push the switch and talk into it.

And this is just standard vocabulary.

And those are someone else's, my best friend's little boys.

And we had a gag, a sort of stupid, private thing going.

And we had a gag, a sort of stupid, private thing going.

And we had the first women's club

And we had the most terrific time.

And we were buying our kids shoes. And I got to talking, and she said,

And we're not after you to change your whole lifestyle,

And what you're saying isn't you.

And you're not going to leave Stepford either, are you?

And you've got to think so too.

And you've just got to tell me,

And your husband wants you to see me because...?

And, oh, I knew I shouldn't have touched the stuff.

And, well, it's best for you. You know, I mean, you got more space here.

And, yes, very.

Any move is traumatic, and a city to suburbs move

Any of the rest of you wanna have an accident,

Any soft core porno like you, so it's dull by comparison.

Any...? Anybody else want a nightcap?

Anybody have any questions?

Anyway, I saw your name here.

Anyway, I think if I look in the phone book

Apparently, it's the thing to join.

Are two teenage boys with permanent erections.

Are you two fighting?

Aren't they good?

Association.

At The Plaza, some guy tried picking me up in the lobby.

Avid shutterbug, ex Gothamite who misses the noise of the naked city?

Because he can take walks by himself,

Because I had to get them into some sort of shape for you to see

Because I think they're an improvement,

Because I used to work at Disneyland.

Because I'm not too anxious to move to Eastbridge

Because she doesn't like the way her neighbours keep their houses clean.

Because we can.

Before I pay off the mortgage.

Before that, we lived in Manhattan.

Before the Men's Association took it over, it was a wreck.

Believe me, I know that it's unfair and sexist,

Besides, I'm just swamped with work.

Bobby and I tried to involve her in one of our projects,

Bobby Markowe buys a new bra,

Bobby really has changed. Believe me.

Bobby, stop it! Look at me. Say I'm right.

Bobby, you're not at The Plaza now, so why are you wearing all that makeup?

Bobby?

Bobby. Bobby, listen.

Boy, am I game!

But apparently, it's gonna be changed in, oh, six months or something.

But doesn't it ever bother you that the most important organisation

But how do I amuse them?

But I did, and I'm sorry I ruined it all.

But I guess most of them just plain got bored.

But I wouldn't see them.

But I'd stick a little closer to home.

But I've got three kids, and the oldest is 6.

But if you laugh at it, I swear to God I'm gonna be sick.

But maybe if we're lucky, we can get into something more constructive.

But nobody will tell what the contest rules are.

But she had too much ironing.

But she won't take pictures, and she won't be me.

But Stepford, I know, has a reputation for being unsocial.

But still...

But that year, there were 242 murders in Dallas.

But the women in Stepford just seem to be on a different wavelength.

But then, you're new here, and Stepford wasn't ruined in a day.

But then, you're new here, and Stepford wasn't ruined in a day.

But there's one condition, or we don't go anywhere.

But they could certainly use something around here.

But this is a pretty quiet town.

But Truro, Massachusetts, is this sort of elephant's graveyard

But we're not supposed to delve quite so specifically into housework.

But what fascinates me is,

But what's that got to do with you going crazy?

But you do go out sometimes, don't you?

But you want me to disrupt our lives for the second time

But, frankly, anything that gets him out of the house nights is fine with me.

But, oh, I did meet some of the other Stepford commuters.

Bye bye.

Bye, kids. See you.

Cakewalk is not a dance.

Can I have some more coffee, please?

Can I leave the kids here a bit while I go look for him?

Can seem like a jaunt to Siberia.

Can you believe all this?

Can you sleep?

Can't arrive in Stepford loving housework.

Changed me? What's that mean?

Charmaine won't hear of him going back.

Charmaine's changed, Carol Van Sant's changed,

Claude Axhelm.

Claude.

Clearly, you are a crazy lady, but clearly, again, these are nice.

Coffee?

Come back and see us.

Come on back here now. Don't give me a hard time!

Come on, Daddy's waiting. Yes, you may. Come on, come on.

Come on, Ed, let me drive.

Come on, Fred. Come on, Fred.

Come on, Freddie, you want a little water here, huh?

Come on. We'll just go and get a little coffee.

Commuters and townies. I mean, everybody,

Cornell call you? Yeah, yeah.

Dallas is over two times as big as El Paso,

Dave bought it for me for the weekend. He spent a ton on me.

Dave brought us here because of land values.

Dave works hard all day long, and what does he come home to?

Dave wouldn't miss.

Dave's working late, so I shooed my boys off with friends

Definitely. I'm sure she's got a lot to contribute.

Did anybody say something to upset you?

Did he do it on Blue Cross?

Did the girls bring Fred over when they came?

Did you ever see that?

Did you get a look at the food?

Didn't we all?

Do you know?

Do you mind if I make a call?

Do you think we can go through with that or not?

Do you think you'd get ambulance service better than this anywhere else?

Do you understand that I really love you?

Do you wanna do a barn dance or a tag sale?

Do you...? Do you know that?

Does it ever bother me? No.

Doesn't interest me. I'm a natural born barger.

Dolly is... Dolly's under the table here.

Don't ask me to explain it. I just know.

Don't get upset again. Lovely is better than good.

Don't say anything bad.

Don't say that. We're not.

Don't talk to me like that. I don't want to lie down. I want my children.

Don't tell me what to do, you bastard!

Don't tell your husband. Don't tell anyone.

Don't you know you can't handle this stuff?

Don't you remember what this stuff does to you?

Easy On spray starch.

Easy On's really that good, is it?

Ed is having a hell of a time down there with Bobby.

Ed's always hankered after a heated swimming pool.

Electronics, computers, aerospace junk.

English walnuts and avocados. That's in aisle seven.

Ever since dear old Fred departed, they've been after me

Everybody can go home.

Everybody's out looking for her, so don't panic.

Everything go OK at the initiation?

Everything in her house looked like a TV commercial.

Everything's fine.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Let me see if I kind of get the consensus of all this.

Feel OK?

Final gas chromatograph readings will be coming in in a minute or two.

Fine, Walter, just fine.

Fine. Terrific.

For a bachelor, old Dis must be quite a catch.

For a woman with interests other than purely family

For chrissake, Claude, it's only May.

For just over a month now, and I'm going crazy.

For psychoanalysts.

For some kind of activities in Stepford. That's all.

For The Weekly Chronicle.

Fred!

Fred!

Fred! Fred!

Fred?

Fred.

Fred.

Fred.

Fred. Come here.

Freddie. Wanna go for a walk?

Friendly. That was a good casserole she cooked.

From when you were born until now.

Game.

Gee, it sounds like fun.

Get an ambulance down here right away.

Get it down here right away. Don't give me a hard time.

Get it down here right away. In the parking lot.

Get some drinks down to the pool right away. Come on.

Gets Robert Redford for Christmas.

Girls, I think after four houses, I'm getting to know your taste.

Go on outside, all right?

Go out?

God knows he's given me things.

God, I just love that.

God, this is fun.

Good is better than nice.

Good shot.

Good.

Good. Walter, I was worried.

Governmental agencies. I've worked for them, Joanna.

Have I seen any of your pictures in magazines? I know I must have.

Have you heard? Just spreading like wildfire.

Have you really got film in those things?

Having a lovely evening with Charmaine.

He doesn't like it here. He's gonna be crying all night.

He feels I'm being irrational.

He has a rubber suit made for me in England.

He loves the quiet.

He married me because I looked right.

He nearly jumped out of his skin.

He never loved me.

He really knows his way around.

He runs a multimillion dollar corporation.

He runs the pharmacy.

He says there's no certainty I'd like Eastbridge

He threatened to cancel The Plaza.

He told me he liked it even better than Central Park

He told me he loves it here.

He wasn't a bit hard boiled,

He's an ITT VP transferred to Panama, probably to start a revolution.

He's best in bed when the market's up.

He's nothing, but his wife is just breathtaking.

He's really a Stepford bear.

He's thinking about all the honey he can get out in the trees here.

Hell, Ed's lucky if I remember to keep him in white bread.

Hell, I had to lose it sometime.

Hello, Hi C.

Hello, Joanna.

Here she is. "Eberhart moves to Stepford."

Here we go, far away.

Here you are. Wait a minute, I think you got a headline. Wait a minute.

Here's the report you ordered, Mr Chandler.

Hey,

Hey, are you that unhappy?

Hey, boy, am I glad to see you.

Hey, hey, hey, you know something, I'm gonna like you.

Hey, hey, hey, you too.

Hey, hey, wait. Anybody ever heard of a cakewalk?

Hey, it's me.

Hey, these papers are all in sequence, you know.

Hey, what was that?

Hey, you want a Ring Ding? I smuggled it over the border.

Hey.

Hi, I'm Bobby. Bobby Markowe.

Hi.

Hi.

Hold it a second, Mrs. Sunderson.

Holy cow.

Honey, can I have some more coffee, please?

How about photographing it for a Save the Children poster?

How about the shape?

How could you do a thing like that?

How could you do a thing like that?

How could you do a thing like that?

How could you do a thing like that?

How did he do it exactly? Was it like this, or was it like...?

How do you want it?

How many of these have you had?

How many pancakes are you gonna give...? Yeah, thank you.

How was your visit? Did she fix you up?

How would they do that?

Husband owns the pharmacy. She works there sometimes.

I aim to feed them all into a computer and program it.

I amuse them seven days a week.

I can tell that. You're just out of practice.

I can tell you categorically that there's no such thing as a cleaner compeller.

I can't figure out this burg.

I can't get my mind operating.

I can't get over this.

I can't just call him up and say, "Hi, I used to be Joanna Ingles.

I could find it for you.

I couldn't handle it. It was out of control.

I didn't bake anything yesterday.

I didn't have any time to bake.

I didn't see you. I thought it was clear.

I do not know, but I think it's all right.

I don't care what anybody says.

I don't know how he got away with it so close to home.

I don't know if you've noticed or not, but I stammer.

I don't know what they do exactly.

I don't know, Raymond.

I don't know.

I don't know. I really don't.

I don't know. They...

I don't see what's so far out about my theory.

I don't think that Ed ever loved me.

I don't think that...

I don't wanna squeeze the goddamn Charmin.

I don't want any coffee. I just want my children.

I don't want to spend my entire day in the supermarket.

I dropped my best camera on my foot.

I feel like I'm getting old.

I feel like it.

I give up on you.

I guess I want to be remembered.

I guess it's because I've just been so busy, what with baking and all that.

I guess Mr Ziegler can wait a little while.

I guess that's one of the reasons Ted moved us to Stepford. The...

I guess we're going. I'll see you outside.

I had some trouble. I don't know, but I think I handled it.

I have to admit, though, that there's one rule that I don't much care for,

I hope your wife has gotten over the accident.

I just can't stand to come down in the morning to a bunch of filthy ashtrays.

I just don't like it. Am I making any sense?

I just had to ask? Shouldn't we fight or something?

I just know something is wrong, and my time is coming.

I just live over there.

I just saw a man carrying a naked lady.

I just thought this might come in handy. It's a casserole.

I just want to look like a woman and keep my house looking decent too.

I knew you were fantastic, you are.

I know I did.

I know I shouldn't say this, but I just love my brownies.

I know you are. Eber... I don't know, but I think I do know you.

I know, but this time, I got us an invitation.

I like to see my home looking nice.

I like to watch women doing little domestic chores.

I live in a great house, and my kids look like they belong on welfare.

I lost my virginity to a trustworthy chemist.

I love you.

I mean,

I mean, a tag sale and all that nonsense is really not appropriate, is it?

I mean, after all, we are the most liberal town around.

I mean, everybody's got something around the house that they don't need,

I mean, I like it. It's perfect. How could you not like it?

I mean, I wouldn't want to drink too much of it,

I mean, I'll take a loss on this great house if I have to.

I mean, it's best for the kids.

I mean, just look at the way my kids are dressed. Ragamuffins.

I mean, OK.

I mean, take el presidente, that graduate of Disneyland.

I mean, there's nothing here. Look at that.

I mean, they have a nice thing going here.

I mean, Westport didn't always have writers.

I mean, when are things gonna start sparkling around here?

I mean, you're crushing Mr Ziegler's will.

I must get you a drink.

I must say, I was inclined to agree. I don't know what made me take them.

I only took the post because nobody else would.

I ought to get back.

I played backgammon. I played Scrabble with the goddamn kids.

I really do. And I know I've screwed this whole thing up.

I really love you.

I really think it'll be more important than fingerprints in police work.

I really think that helps.

I remember. God.

I said I was going to take him for a walk.

I saw your name, and it stood out for some reason.

I see.

I should go and see her. I should've done it before.

I still do. Just I work extra hard to control it.

I think a barn dance would be a good idea. Well, I'd like it anyway.

I think I am. It's...

I think I can manage that,

I think I'll break into Walter's Scotch.

I think I'll take Fred for a walk.

I think it's good. Well, I don't know if I think it's good

I think Teddy's gonna cry all night.

I think the men are behind it.

I think there are times when Walter cares more about the law

I think there's something in the water

I think we got enough things that we can present to the meeting, you know.

I think we ought to take a sample of the water ourselves

I think you ought to appoint me chairman, I'll run the whole thing.

I thought I blighted your adolescence.

I thought I'd go to town, you know, really spoil myself.

I thought I'd...

I thought Walter was going to become Perry Mason.

I thought we might try a tag sale here this year.

I thought we talked about it.

I thought we were friends.

I thought we were friends.

I thought we were friends.

I thought we were friends.

I thought we were friends.

I thought we were friends.

I thought you were terrific.

I told you I...

I understand.

I used to ask him why he didn't talk like he wrote.

I used to gawk at all those girls in those magazines.

I wake up, it's the middle of the night.

I want my children!

I want you to write down every place you've ever lived,

I want...

I was just going to give you coffee.

I was just going to give you coffee.

I was pleased to get this, and he was quite sweet. But the rest...

I was worried. Walter, I love you, but you expect me to be a mind reader.

I went to a meeting once.

I wish you would...

I won't be here when you get back. Don't you see?

I won't be here when you get back. Don't you see?

I would go for the sale because I think you'd get, like, somebody's garage

I... I didn't mean nothing. It was just one of those things, you know.

I'd be lost without them.

I'd be unhappy there.

I'd like to christen every room in the house

I'd specifically have to know what it is I'm trying to find.

I'd spend my whole life wandering around saying,

I'll ask Dave tonight, and we'll move.

I'll be back on the 10th,

I'll be back, all right?

I'll be right back.

I'll ease up on my goddamn picture taking and stay around the house,

I'll give you a prescription, which you'll have filled.

I'll just die if I don't get this recipe.

I'll just die if I don't get this recipe.

I'll just die if I don't get this recipe.

I'll just die if I don't get this recipe.

I'll make you a beneficiary.

I'll tell you. Thanks.

I'm a sort of hopeful, would be, semiprofessional photographer.

I'm also an ex Gothamite, who's been living here in Ajax country

I'm an accent freak.

I'm Carol Van Sant.

I'm coming to bed.

I'm doing all the talking, I know, but these are my little girls

I'm finally finished.

I'm fine. How are you? Good to see you.

I'm fine. I don't need to see anybody.

I'm frankly more interested in the overprivileged kids,

I'm game.

I'm getting the hell out of Stepford.

I'm getting us a house now, and if it's hard on you, tough.

I'm gonna put the kids to bed.

I'm happy.

I'm here at my husband's insistence.

I'm here to tell you that's all over now.

I'm interested. I'm no fanatic, but I'm really interested.

I'm just clearing up some things.

I'm not complaining on that score, but...

I'm not contemplating any Maidenform bonfires,

I'm not going to end up like one of those pan scrubbers.

I'm not good on names.

I'm not sure why. Probably on account of...

I'm not trying to be a leader or anything,

I'm not upset.

I'm out now, aren't I?

I'm really off the booze, and God knows that's better.

I'm sorry, about what?

I'm sorry, but I'm onto something,

I'm sorry, I thought I checked everything.

I'm sorry. I just can't waste my spare moments on something like that.

I'm sorry. I said I'm sorry about the car, but I was panicked and upset.

I'm sticking my head right in the oven.

I'm supposed to ask you if you will take our kids and the dog

I'm very fond of you.

I'm Walter Eberhart.

I've already gotten over it. That's not what I'm talking about.

I've just been tempted so many times to try Easy On.

I've just come from Atkinson's in New York, and he loves my stuff.

I've never been much of a joiner, I'm afraid.

I've seen Charmaine and...

If I can't do it, my wife, Charmaine, will.

If I see anybody, I'll find my own.

If I was forced to apologize every time I got smashed,

If there was, I would patent it myself, make a million bucks,

If we could get a consciousness raising group going, you'd come?

If you want to know the truth.

If you'd run the whole thing, you're gonna alienate everybody in this town.

If you're going to tell me you don't like this dress,

In a couple of months on some fixation you've gotten.

In a way you could refuse, or in a way you had to accept?

In case you're wondering what I've been doing.

In Stepford is sexually archaic?

In the Stepford River,

Incredible.

Ingles was my maiden name.

Is it enough?

Is it everything you expected?

Is it that good? Well, if time is your enemy, make friends with Easy On.

Is that what you mean, a square dance?

Isn't it funny the things you do when you're in love?

Isn't that Carol Van Sant?

Isn't this kind of blackmail, Joanna?

Issue dated October 4th, 1971. '71, right.

It came right... It wasn't my fault.

It can't all be coincidence.

It comes from deep wells,

It doesn't have to be anything dramatic.

It just seemed logical to me.

It looked like a goddamn pigsty.

It made a big impression on the other TV executives for his wife

It must save me half an hour a day, at least.

It was in TIME. I cut it out.

It was just the being alone with Ed that did it.

It was on the market for about six months.

It was your wife, wasn't it?

It wasn't an initiation. This is not a college fraternity.

It wasn't just that. It wasn't just anything.

It wasn't my fault.

It wasn't my fault. You know, I didn't see the car coming.

It... It's just my head.

It'd be great for the kids.

It's a big change. You've got to admit that.

It's a thing where all the women bring over cakes, then you draw this circle

It's about why there are almost no murders in El Paso.

It's awfully late.

It's going to happen before then.

It's hard to be smart.

It's like maids have been declared illegal,

It's none of your business, but our sex life is better too.

It's nothing like that at all. You've got quite the wrong idea.

It's nothing like you imagine.

It's only a few more weeks.

It's part of the deal.

It's perfect for the kids.

It's perfect for us and perfect for you.

It's quite an honour to be invited to join.

It's so awful. If I'm wrong, I'm insane.

It's so good that if ever I became famous

It's something I can't put off at this short notice,

It's to commemorate the time he took a young virgin to the theatre

It's true what they say in the ads.

It's what made this country great, Claude.

It's... It's very good around the eyes, you...

Jeez, I work 80 hours a week.

Jesus.

Joanna, go upstairs and lie down now!

Joanna, open this goddamn door!

Joanna.

Joanna.

Joanna. Come over here. Come over here.

Joanna. Joanna, I think that's what's going on in Stepford.

Just another stage.

Just as I said. Aren't I always right?

Just Ed and me, you know, talking things through.

Just go wherever you feel safe.

Just lie back and relax.

Just like your wife.

Just talk to one of them. They'd see you.

Just try to look at it from my point of view, Joanna.

Keep it? I'll insure it. Thank you so much.

Kim?

Kit Sunderson too. If they could find the time for me,

Ladies, we have specials today on crenshaw melons,

Lawyer.

Leave Stepford? Good schools, low taxes, clean air?

Let me take that.

Let's go to bed.

Like a shot, I'd come.

Like my son hated camp. So naturally,

Like put on a fancy dress?

Like those good old days when Playboy used the airbrush.

Like Walter says, it's all so dazzling. Why don't I like it?

Linda, what do you want?

Listen, Carol, it says you were president of that club.

Listen, her name's Charmaine Wimpiris.

Listen, the 6:00 news scares me every night.

Listen, Walter. It's gonna be OK.

Listen, you wanna go and have something to drink?

Look at all those places.

Look, I hate to come on like the heavy,

Look, I played Monopoly with them. I didn't pass go, I didn't collect.

Look, I'm not asking anything unreasonable, and I don't like asking it.

Look, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm happy.

Look, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm happy.

Look, I've been doing a little research, OK?

Look, if there's anything else you need, please call.

Look, if you paid a little more attention to your family and a little less

Look, this... This is Stepford. It's not New York or...

Look, we don't want you to get upset again.

Look, we found this at the library.

Look, we live in a nice neighbourhood.

Look, we're not fighting. We're just talking. Now, come on, you guys.

Look. Just... They're fine. I told you.

Lot of very nice houses, like your own.

Make sure you do it right here in Stepford.

Markowe.

Maybe I'll put the pool table right over there.

Maybe Norwood or Eastbridge.

Maybe the fun went out of it.

Maybe we took the joke too far.

Maybe you could convince her.

Me too. How do you do?

Mom...?

Mommy?

Mommy?

Mommy?

Mommy?

Mommy?

Mommy?

Mommy?

Mommy?

Mommy?

Mommy.

Mommy.

Move them over toward the centre.

Mr Atkinson, I've been at these since Saturday, just about nonstop,

Mr Eberhart, what's the story with this piece?

My drink.

My God, they're worse than your senior partners.

My husband, everyone.

My pleasure.

My wife's just inside. I know she'd like to talk to you.

New Projects committee. They ought to start by working on themselves.

New Projects committee. They ought to start by working on themselves.

No kidding.

No kidding. Six months.

No matter how you looked?

No one. No one, but the night they changed you, I kept your kids.

No, back at Charmaine's.

No, I do care.

No, I'm fine.

No, I'm gonna walk him around the bathroom.

No, I've got to get back. I...

No, it isn't.

No, it's OK.

No, no, that's not true.

No, no.

No, no...

No, you don't want to talk, or what?

No, you look.

No!

No.

No. I...

No. No, it's not, but...

No. The results are lovely.

No. You're right.

Nobody's ever touched me the way you touch me.

Noise.

Not only would I do it, I'd do it for free.

Not that I know of.

Not to mention that creepy Men's Association.

Nothing's got me.

Now just go on upstairs and lie down.

Now the Association's got a restoration committee

Now you have no reason to know this,

Now you're asking me about the lousy Men's Association,

Now, hang on to him tight so he doesn't jump out the window.

Now, here.

Now, how about that for our Stepford twosome.

Now, how does that sound?

Now, I also do the notes on "Newcomer's Column"

Now, I brought up the possibility of a tag sale.

Now, Jenny Fisher used to play. She finked out on me.

Now, look, could we just get back to the original subject?

Now, that's the unreasonable part.

Now, what can I tell you girls?

Of course I go out.

Of course, I did look terrific.

Oh, and tell your wife, you keep that as long as you want.

Oh, boy. This is really terrific.

Oh, Dis?

Oh, God, are you the best.

Oh, God.

Oh, he's so old and smart that, after I'd sobered up some, we asked him and...

Oh, I don't think either one.

Oh, I know it's just a horrible thing to even think about, isn't it? Forget it.

Oh, I'll just...

Oh, I'm fine.

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, Joanna, Dave turned me loose in Bergdorf's,

Oh, look. That's no big deal. It's the rest of it that bothers me.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Oh, my, of course, it doesn't compare to mine.

Oh, my. Gonna miss you.

Oh, no, I know how much fun moving is.

Oh, no, it's nothing, really. It's just a surprise.

Oh, no, look.

Oh, no, no, no, you're wrong. It...

Oh, no.

Oh, no. No, I wanted to, really.

Oh, no. No. No, you're not gonna need that.

Oh, no. Walter, tell him. I'm just awful on names.

Oh, she's fat and lovely. She's got a big mouth, and I love her.

Oh, shoot. And he has no license, nothing.

Oh, sure, put a tag on all of his toys, we'll make a fortune.

Oh, that's why we won the war.