Beverly Hills Ninja (1997) Edit

A Beverly Hills disguise.

A bug must've bit me.

A group of ninjas foiled an attempted counterfeiting operation.

A mistake could jeopardize Sally's life.

A ninja knows when he's in danger.

A ninja visualizes the straightness of the rope.

A phone book.

A spy is like a gnat compared to a ninja.

A spy?

A woman such as you described had the name Alison Page.

Alison and I must leave.

Alison, is that you?

Alison, what have I done?

Alison.

All of you who are graduating today...

All right then, Joey. I'll do what I can.

All right!

Always be on my guard. All right. You the ninja.

America's weather fluctuates violently.

And a white ninja. Who ever heard of that?

And I shall water the plants.

And I, Haru, am the blackest of the black.

And prove, once and for all, that I am the Great White Ninja.

And then...

And they... This is nice.

And this time, you must follow my directions exactly.

Are we dead?

Are you a third degree black belt?

Are you all right, my brother?

Are you all right?

Are you communicating with me?

Are you communicating with me?

Are you not familiar with shiatsu massage?

As a ninja...

As a pimp, I'll blend into the city like MSG into miso soup.

As we talked about, you'll distract him...

Be careful in your travels. The world is dangerous.

Be careful.

Because I would then have to kill you.

Because you are going with him.

Believe in yourself, my son.

Believe it or not, I doubted myself.

Believe me, sensei, I killed no one.

Believe me. This woman's telling the truth.

Besides, there is no place for you to go.

Big deal!

Brother!

But as part of my creed, I cannot tell you.

But I was wrong.

But I'll tell you this:

But it's delicate, not like in Japan.

But now I'll look out for myself.

But you're in love with Tanley.

But you're white.

But your job is an important one.

Call a friend. Have a lovely afternoon.

Can you come closer? I'll untie you.

Can't start an operation without the gear.

Careful, Alison.

Carol Channing.

Carry it with you always.

Check your guns. Kobudosai checked theirs.

Chet Walters. I'm told he's the best.

Chickens?

Come on over here.

Come on!

Come to papa, baby!

Compared to what? A hut in a rice paddy?

Congratulations, big brother.

Consider yourself very lucky.

Couch is fine for me.

Could we please get to work?

Cut the bullshit. How much for your plates?

Daddy, he said he was going to kill me!

Daddy!

Danger is my companion.

Did I say ninja? I meant ninny.

Do not be afraid, my dove.

Do not be disheartened. I know Tanley's next move.

Do not be fooled by my skin colour.

Do not despair. I will be ever vigilant.

Do not let up. We are nowhere near our destination.

Do not move, Alison... Alison Page!

Do not shoot! I am on your side.

Do not try it.

Do not worry.

Do not worry.

Do you have an explanation?

Do you know how long it took me to do my hair?

Do you know what I do every day?

Do you think you can waltz in, grab the plates and run the show?

Don't be fooled by my skin colour. You're a TV reporter.

Don't get me started on car problems.

Don't worry about me. The woman's in trouble.

Don't worry, he's an ink specialist and suspects nothing.

Drive, Joey.

Empty your pockets, please.

Especially your apartment.

Exactly like this.

Excellent. You too should be a ninja.

Excuse me, I have to be going. Thank you.

Excuse me?

Excuse me. Is this the Takagure dojo?

Find out what he's up to. His name's Martin Tanley...

For Hundreds of years in Japan there has lived a clan...

For Pete's sake.

Forged in the fires of confidence and discipline.

Forty seconds.

Four minutes.

Front!

Get off me!

Get out of here!

Get out of there!

Get out!

Get rid of him later.

Get rid of him.

Getting in the way all the time.

Go now.

Go, Haru.

Go! Go!

Go! Yeah!

Go. Save Alison. It is your duty as a ninja.

Gobei called her hotel. There's no one named Sally Jones.

Gobei, I've always looked up to you, and you've always looked out for me.

Gobei.

Gobei.

Good job!

Good luck, my brother.

Good luck, my brother.

Good luck. Good luck.

Good morning, Mr. Tanley.

Good night.

Good night.

Good.

Good. He'll print the front half of the bill tomorrow.

Good. Tie him and throw him in the van.

Goodbye, everyone!

Goodbye, everyone!

Goodbye, my family!

Goodbye.

Gotcha. You betcha. Alrighty. Here we go!

Gotta get the gear.

Great White Ninja or not, you made me believe in myself.

Great White Ninja.

Hands in the air!

Haru, you are truly the Great White Ninja.

Haru!

Haru.

Have a great meeting. Bye!

Have no fear. I will defuse the bomb.

Have you heard of the white child who will be the greatest ninja master?

Have you met the ink specialist?

He doesn't know I'm her sister!

He got busted for DUI.

He is coming. Hide behind those clouds.

He killed her sister.

He matches an Interpol description of a man wanted in Japan for murder.

He's an idiot! I cannot do this anymore.

He's fat, a fool and an embarrassment to ninjas.

He's made every mistake in the ninja book.

Hear about the lady who backed into a fan? Dis assed her!

Hello, Alison.

Hello, is this the Auto Club?

Hello?

Hello?

Help me!

Help me!

Help! I must concentrate!

Help! Police!

Here I am.

Here I come!

Here is my legend.

Here is what I was looking for, Joey.

Here we are, off to the wild blue yonder.

Here you go, sir.

Here, take this.

Here.

Here's an example. Close your eyes, turn around and count to nine.

Here's my problem. I'm seeing this man.

Here's some advice for your next life:

Hey, how you doing? Chet Walters. Mr. Tanley?

Hey, man.

Hi, Gobei.

His determination's like a tiger.

Holy Shinto!

Holy Shinto!

Honoured elder?

Hopefully, I'll see you later.

How are you, my son?

How could she do this to me?

How he arrived on our shores...

How many rich blonds could there be?

How will you drive with that on?

How'd that get in there?

However, I give the golden medallion to my finest student.

Hurry, my dove!

Hurry!

Hurry!

I am fine.

I am Haru of the Takagure dojo. Do not forget that.

I am Haru of the Takagure dojo...

I am Haru of the Takagure...

I am Haru. Do not worry about Haru.

I am here.

I am live with one of those ninjas.

I am not lying to you, Haru.

I am one with the universe!

I am one with the universe.

I am one with the universe.

I am sorry, big brother!

I am sorry. I got carried away.

I am sure you'd like to know who I am and what I do.

I am the only one who is calling her Sally Jones.

I arranged to get this set of plates.

I brought you a present. A little bang.

I can do it.

I can plug it into the Marshall formula...

I can see now.

I can't. Not today. I'm in a bit of a hurry.

I cannot say this has been an easy mission.

I cannot swim! Joey!

I cannot tell the truth from the untruth.

I could find the names of all BMW sales...

I did not do it!

I didn't expect to find a white ninja.

I discovered your boyfriend is a counterfeiter and a killer.

I do believe you, Haru. But I'm worried.

I do not remember hearing thunder.

I do. I've never stopped believing in you.

I don't know what to do. I can't find those plates.

I don't need to be rescued. Just leave.

I don't want to go on disability and sue the company for millions.

I got a 1975 Fairmont.

I got him!

I got involved with him to find out about Carla.

I got your back.

I gotcha!

I guess.

I had to escape from jail! I am coming home.

I hate this!

I hate this!

I have been waiting for such a long time!

I have discovered his schedule...

I have this.

I hope that he knows that I love him. All I wanted was his respect.

I just paid a million dollars for one side of a 10,000 yen bill.

I just wanted to climb the steps...

I knew a guy who started off in AAA, then ended up in AA.

I know I will be of better use where there's no great ninjas.

I know just where we are. We're on the right track.

I know you will succeed.

I love my brother. His heart's like a flower.

I made it.

I may not be the best ninja or one with the universe.

I mistook you for a friend of mine.

I must go to the hills of Beverly, and save Sally Jones.

I must protect her in America.

I need your help finding Sally Jones.

I need your honest opinion about something.

I only did it so Tanley wouldn't know I hired you.

I prefer to be alone tonight.

I printed leaflets for the "Shave the Whale" campaign.

I run to get cigarettes, to take out the trash.

I see you got the T 200 split level Barber ink printing press.

I see. Very smart.

I seem to be coming down with a mild case of tunnel carpal syndrome.

I shall do as you say.

I shall protect the village and guard the dojo.

I suggest that you make your plates our plates.

I suggest that you practise on chickens.

I suspected Tanley, but I couldn't prove anything until you.

I think it's from carrying heavy garment bags.

I think they worked as a team.

I think we should go back.

I think we're too close to the water.

I thought I'd make lunch for you.

I thought we was homies. You're my boy, my ninja.

I took karate lessons. I'm not as advanced as you.

I tried to stop this mission because I feared for you.

I want so desperately to be a great ninja like Gobei, but...

I want them back.

I warn you that what I'm asking might be dangerous.

I was merely trying to get close to the temple, not inside.

I was relating to the child the importance...

I was told that I could find a ninja here.

I wasn't trying to...

I will be watching you.

I will know. I will do.

I will miss you. Goodbye.

I will return.

I wish I'd killed you months ago.

I'll be watching your every move. Making sure that as the...

I'll contact you before I leave.

I'll go with my dove to the land of opportunity, Beverly Hills.

I'll protect you with all of my being.

I'll rescue you.

I'll take your bag.

I'm a tangerine belt, orange belt.

I'm always running. My neighbourhood's bad.

I'm calling the cops. Give me the phone!

I'm Chet Walters. Nice coat. Who shot the couch?

I'm going to miss him.

I'm gonna go soak my wrists.

I'm gonna have to quantify the 7 F reading on this...

I'm in a thong Speedo, hiking boots and a backpack.

I'm involved in counterfeiting some money!

I'm just bugging with you. Auto Club is 555 9300.

I'm kidding. What can I do you for?

I'm one of them citrus colours. You know?

I'm one with the chicken.

I'm over here.

I'm so lucky I found you.

I'm sorry I posed as a ninja, but this woman needed my help.

I'm sorry that I gave you a false name.

I'm sorry. I don't see that name in my computer.

I'm sorry. This must be the wrong place.

I've come many miles disguised as a pimp to help you.

I've considered several techniques.

I've discovered he has a meeting tomorrow.

If I do, give me your solemn promise...

If I find the plates, I'll get him. Believe me!

If I get caught...

If it isn't the Great White Ninja.

If only I had caught Tanley in Japan.

If you cannot, I will have to drive.

If you're here when he gets here, he'll kill us all!

Impossible. My ninja intuition tells me this.

In a moment, you'll be as free as a bird.

In fact, Gobei will not become...

In fact, you've helped me. You found out what I needed to know.

In this is a legend about a Great White Ninja?

Is it likely that this woman hired you...

Is the cost of your lodgings great?

It appears Sally's using her false name with these people.

It is better that you not let them know I am here.

It is important to our community an agreement be reached.

It is in the spirit of harmony we meet here today.

It is my pleasure, Alison.

It is simple.

It looks like we are one degree Celsius off...

It sounds to me you are being led around by your short sword.

It spoke of a foreign child who would come among us...

It will begin to untie itself.

It's about as hard to turn over as me on Laguna Beach.

It's all set. They'll meet us here.

It's amazing. I think he's really changed.

It's being arranged.

It's burning.

It's him! The white ninja!

It's important that you don't contact me.

It's just that I have been accused of another murder...

It's okay.

It's the real bill. Print a proof copy today.

It's the wrong writ.

It's you who needs help.

Joey, these sea creatures!

Joey, what is that smell?

Just go away.

Kai?

Keep his head down.

Keep practising, Joey, and some day you will choke that chicken.

Keep practising, Joey.

Lesson 34: The technique for ripping a man's head off...

Lesson number one: Always be on your guard.

Lesson number two:

Let me get this blindfold off.

Let me guess. Don't tell me.

Let me take you to The Grill.

Let me take your...

Let us out of here!

Let's discuss...

Let's get him!

Let's get him!

Let's have a look at it.

Let's see what we got baking in the oven.

Look at this!

Look out!

Look out!

Look. My sister Carla worked for Tanley.

Luck is with me...

Man, that was dope!

Martin Tanley, attack me with your front gate...

Martin Tanley, you have left a trail a sloth could follow.

Martin Tanley.

Master Go.

May I help you, sir?

Maybe it was "Starve the Whales"!

Maybe we should go for cover.

Meditate on me, Haru, and we'll meet on the Plane of Enlightenment.

Mind if I borrow this next week? I got a blind date. A blind date!

Mine, I think.

Miss...?

Mr. Washington, everything you do irritates me.

My arm! It's okay.

My black belt is like the inside of a coffin...

My brother's in pest control. Bring him over...

My dove, hang on!

My dove!

My eyes are like the tentacles of a squid.

My feelings tell me Sally Jones is in trouble.

My identity must remain mysterious and my mission secret.

My son...

My wrists!

Natural blondes? I'm in. Let's do it.

Never mind.

Never take a job you can't complete.

Nice jacket. Who shot the couch?

Nicely done, Joey.

Ninja secret. Chickens.

Ninja?

Ninja? You're a ninja?

Ninjas can get into places without being seen.

No complications.

No one can know you are helping him...

No one messes with my brother!

No problem, man. I went to Catholic school.

No problem. Hold the phone a second.

No, I am not...

No, if you feel more comfortable.

No, you will not.

No! No!

No! Please do not go. I mean...

No! Please! Anything but that!

Nobu, keep an eye on him.

Nobu, this is Beverly Hills. Everyone's delicate.

Nobu.

Not yet a match.

Now left, towards the water. Yes!

Now turn right.

Now we are in danger. We are really in danger!

Now you're out of bullets.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

Oh, great.

Oh, my gosh! Get away from me, you creep!

Oh, thank goodness.

Oh, that's great. Thank you.

Oh, yes. They are beautiful.

Okay, let's take the blindfold off.

Okay, no problem.

Old Faithful!

On my guard.

One pinch and he'll tell the truth about Tanley.

One we can duplicate 10 million times.

One, two...

Only when I have ceased to breathe will I be dead.

Open the door.

Open this door!

Or a knife is good.

Or, actually, the Great White, black art...

Our car broke down. Mind if I use your phone?

Patrice, my car. Joey, come with me.

Perhaps I shall send Dom Perignon to your room?

Perhaps later I'll meet your friend Don.

Perhaps she gave a false name.

Perhaps she gave you the false name.

Phat! I get to drive? All right. Come on.

Pin the Tail on the Donkey! Who's got the piГ±ata?

Please check the number and dial again.

Please don't!

Please hurry!

Please tell me why you have come to my dojo.

Please, sit.

Preparing a great ninja tool: The laughing mushroom.

Quick! Bedroom, bedroom!

Really?

Remember...

Right after the bump.

Sally Jones, I accept your dangerous mission.

Sally Jones!

Sally! Sally Jones! It is I, Haru!

Sally?

Sally?

Sally. Sally Jones.

See what I'm up against? I'll rethink my inks.

See you! Don't worry...

Sensei is going to kill me!

Sensei, I am so excited about tonight.

Sensei.

Seventy three minutes to deliver two suitcases and a garment bag.

Share some lunch?

She died mysteriously.

She's incapable of such things. She is as lovely as a dove.

She's rich, beautiful and blond.

Shiatsu? Watch your language. A lady's present.

Shoot them!

Show me a little of what you know. A kick or a jab. Something.

Shrimp? Shrimp?

Since I can't go, take them to lunch instead.

So are you a ninja?

So I figured I would just pace myself.

So sorry, Gobei.

So sorry.

So we have entered the serpent's lair.

So what are you saying? I can't go?

So...

Somebody help me!

Somebody help me!

Something simple and natural, yet subtle and cunning.

Sorry about your head. I was going for Tanley.

Sorry, Haru.

Stay here. Tanley will be watching you.

Stay low so as not to be detected.

Stop comparing yourself to Gobei.

Stop squirming! I'm undoing these ropes.

Stop the van!

Stop the van.

Stop!

Stop!

Stop! Are you listening...? Give me my medallion back!

Subject me to any torture you can think of...

Sure you don't want it sooner?

Take a left. Joey!

Take off the blindfold! What's wrong with you?

Takure.

Tampo?

Tanley is a killer!

Tanley's at the first table on the right.

Tell me why you are in need of a ninja.

Thank God I have a short sword.

Thank God we made it!

Thank you for letting me stay here.

Thank you, big brother.

Thank you, Haru.

Thank you, Haru. Thank you.

Thank you, sensei.

Thank you, sensei.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks for meeting us, Mr. Ozaru.

Thanks, asshole!

Thanks, big brother. It's all right.

That rack was not built by ninjas.

That would be fine for me too.

That's great.

That's great.

That's it. Grab it.

That's right. I can climb. I can climb!

That's right. The Little Tokyo Temple.

That's strange. We have business to go over.

That's very impressive.

That's what she said. She said!

That's why crooks like me are respected.

The art is so lethal that it has made the clan invincible.

The effects are profound. Open his mouth.

The feeling's mutual. The difference is...

The guards could kill us both.

The Kobudosai will buy your plates.

The meeting with the Kobudosai is arranged.

The plates are for only one side of the bill.

The plates were taken by the gang, Kobudosai.

The police believe a ninja committed a murder.

The words are seared into my soul.

There is no better father that a boy could have had.

There was a bump. Good. There was a right after a bump.

There you are.

There's gotta be a turn somewhere!

There's no time!

There's no time. There's a bomb in here.

There's something's wrong here.

These criminals will face the justice system.

They can have a war.

They don't call me the best for nothing.

They may have a second copy.

They're coming.

They're just a little bit off.

This holds the teachings of all ninjutsu...

This is about the sensei and twin geishas. Also a good legend...

This is good. I hear water. Now turn right.

This is my dream. Let us kick some yakuza ass!

This is that special time when I can say to you...

This is the site of a gangland murder in Little Tokyo.

This may be odd, but I thought ninjas were Japanese...

This ninja knows no fear.

This requires discipline. Years or decades to achieve.

This, however, was.

Though I think it is wrong for you to make this journey...

Though it will sadden me to see you leave, I am happy for you.

To this day, we are known as...

Today, I am proud to be your sensei.

Today, you'd be basking in the safety of our dojo...

Tonight's exercise is for the ninjas only.

Twenty five years ago...

Up close, you don't look like either. They are twins.

Use them only for necessities.

Very admirable. Then perhaps you'll know...

Very clever, Sally. You really should be a ninja.

Very funny, Mr. Walters. Ready to go?

Wait!

Wait! Sensei, wait for me!

Wait! Wait up!

We are entering a dangerous phase.

We going like Morgan Freeman.

We must try again.

We ninjas thought that this child...

We were very wrong.

We were wrong.

We'll see who is the hunter and who is the prey, Martin Tanley.

We're a five star hotel with 800 rooms booked six months in advance.

We're drifting! Something's touching my face!

We're lucky there's a suspect.

We're not exactly kittens.

We're on the track, all right!

Welcome to Beverly Hills Bank Note.

Welcome to the Rodeo Plaza Hotel.

Welcome. Congratulations on coming this far...

Well, I guess it's time to turn in.

What a coincidence. Can I give you a lift?

What a fool I was.

What about this ninja the police think killed Ozura?

What are you doing?

What are you? A spy or something?

What do you think of Haru?

What happened?

What happened?

What I could do on that is run a Pap smear...

What I need requires great stealth.

What makes you think you can find her in America?

What you got in here, car radios?

What'd you say?

What're you doing?

What's she doing here?

Whatever you wish. I'll follow your boyfriend, Sally.

When he's done, he'll probably kill you!

When I played ball in Wisconsin...

When you open them, I will be gone.

Where did he learn to drive? Cooking school?

Where...?

Where's Walters?

Whether you're the chosen one or not, I'd fight alongside you.

Which way's he going? Through the Grand Canyon?

Who are you?

Who is sloppy and messing up?

Who is stealing my shoes?

Who's driving this buggy?

Why are we stopping here?

Why, sensei? He is the best ninja ever.

Witnesses say the assailant had tattoos...

Word is out that what happened could start a war.

Yeah, let's go.

Yeah, you go, ninja boy!

Yeah!

Yeah! Mr. Dojo Rising! Go for it!

Yep, the AAA.

Yes, Haru.

Yes, I am a ninja.

Yes, I am.

Yes, I guess I did.

Yes, sensei.

Yes, the mainland! The sea is foamy.

Yes, this is the Takagure dojo.

Yes! Help me!

Yes! I got you.

Yes. I am looking for a Sally Jones.

You are a fragile boy.

You are a liar, Sally... Sally Jones!

You are in luck. My highest grades were in stealth.

You are the greatest ninja of all time.

You are to remain here to protect the village...

You are unable to tell truth from untruth.

You are welcome.

You bet! Your buggy or mine?

You can be sure he's cheating on you too.

You can communicate with other ninjas...

You could blindfold me. I liked that anyway.

You could try a phone book.

You did it.

You don't have a choice, Mr. Tanley.

You don't have ninja intuition, or even normal intuition.

You don't mind. A small precaution.

You get a ride on 83rd Avenue, dressed like that in the middle of winter.

You have done well, Haru. I am proud.

You have it backwards.

You have wandered way off course!

You just called me a ninja.

You know I have great respect for you, Kumagi...

You know why? Whenever I leave my house...

You look like her. I mean, him.

You may drive now.

You may drive now.

You must continue.

You pick up guys and do this all the time?

You really are courageous.

You see here:

You see, I'm a trained master in all the weapons of battle.

You see, it is written in this holy writ.

You see, sensei, it is all coming together.

You should go save Alison.

You think I ought to work before you pay me?

You thought, perhaps, an experienced ninja...

You wait here.

You'll be his shadow.

You'll vaporize before you feel a thing.

You're a ninja? Get out of here! You're a ninja!

You're not alone. Great White Ninja's on your case.

You're observant, as well as beautiful.

You're questioning my authority.

You're right.

You're the fat ninja everyone's talking about.

You're welcome, sir.

You've heard of the Great Black Ninja?

You've lived longer than anyone who's betrayed me.

Your call cannot be completed as dialled.

Your foe's back can quickly become his front.

Your lies bounce like Ping Pong balls.

Your loyalty is most appreciated.

1 A.

3 5 1 0 2. Where shall I contact you?

"Save the Whale." That's what you did with them?

Can you manage without me? I will try.

Come home, Haru. I cannot, sensei.

Did Martin say when he'd be back? No.

Do not be rash, Gobei. Rash?

Do you know what you're doing? There, I have done it!

Do you want the bed or the couch? Which would you prefer?

Goodbye. Goodbye!

He's seeing another woman. I think it's bigger than that.

Head towards the mainland! Mainland?

Hello, Haru. Hello, sensei.

Hello, Mr. Tanley. What the hell is that?

Hello, my son Hello, sensei.

I am one with the universe! Here, Haru!

I cannot reveal it to you. Why not?

I did? Yes.

I did? Yes.

I don't care. You bet.

I don't know. You're paid to know.

I don't think we should. I'm sorry. I was...

I have a meeting. Wait!

I have money. I'm sure you do.

I have some bad news. What?

I have tried, but I have failed. That is never true.

I know how to get the plates. You do?

I must? Yes.

I'm ready. My entire family likes to drive...

Is that you? Some say it is so.

It's best we resolve our differences. Perfect agreement.

It's for you. Of course it is.

It's really on fire! Yes, I can tell...

It's time for me to find my dove. How do we do that?

lf you need me, I'll be at the hotel. Okay. Good work today.

Listen to my directions. I'm going where you said!

May I take your bag? Thanks, asshole.

My dear, how was your shopping? Good.

No. Is that you? Some say it is so.

No. What? I'm running.

Not a ninja technique, but effective. Put him in the back.

Oh, yes. It's a perfect counterfeit.