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22 Jump Street (2014) 22 Jump Street is a hilarious action-comedy film that was released in 2014. Directed by Phil Lord and

22 Jump Street (2014)

22 Jump Street is a hilarious action-comedy film that was released in 2014. Directed by Phil Lord and Christopher Miller, the movie serves as a sequel to the hit film, 21 Jump Street, and follows the adventures of two unlikely police officers who go undercover as college students to solve a drug trafficking case. The subject of this article is indeed a movie, which is known for its comedic performances, thrilling action sequences, and memorable cast.

The film stars Jonah Hill as Officer Schmidt and Channing Tatum as Officer Jenko, the dynamic duo assigned to infiltrate a local college and bring down the drug ring. The chemistry between Hill and Tatum is palpable, with their comedic timing and delivery being a major highlight of the movie. Their hilarious banter and contrasting personalities make for an entertaining watch throughout the film.

As the story progresses, Schmidt and Jenko navigate the challenges of college life while attempting to track down the drug suppliers. They soon find themselves immersed in a web of college parties, fraternities, and student life. The movie expertly treads the line between comedy and action, delivering laugh-out-loud moments alongside exhilarating chase scenes and intense confrontations.

One of the standout features of 22 Jump Street is its self-awareness. The film cleverly acknowledges its status as a sequel and satirizes Hollywood's tendency to replicate successful formulas. This meta-humor is evident in the movie's tagline, "They're not 21 anymore," which playfully nods to the fact that Schmidt and Jenko are no longer undercover in high school like in the previous film. The self-awareness extends further, often poking fun at sequels throughout the narrative, making for an incredibly enjoyable viewing experience.

The supporting cast of 22 Jump Street is equally impressive. Ice Cube reprised his role as Captain Dickson, the no-nonsense police commander who provides both humor and guidance to Schmidt and Jenko. The film also features witty performances from Jillian Bell as Maya, Amber Stevens West as Maya's roommate, and Wyatt Russell as Zook, a football player who becomes a key element of the investigation.

The soundtrack of 22 Jump Street perfectly complements the high-energy nature of the film. With an eclectic mix of hip-hop, electronic, and pop music, the soundtrack becomes an integral part of the movie's fast-paced and humorous tone. From artists like Diplo, Wiz Khalifa, and Duck Sauce, the music adds an extra layer of excitement to the film, enhancing pivotal scenes and making the experience even more enjoyable.

If you're looking to relive the laughter and excitement of 22 Jump Street, you can play and download the film from various online platforms and streaming services. By doing so, you can enjoy the brilliant performances, tight-knit storyline, and humorous dialogues whenever you want.

In conclusion, 22 Jump Street is a comedic gem that masterfully combines action, humor, and self-awareness. Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum deliver unforgettable performances as the undercover duo Schmidt and Jenko, bringing laughter to the audience with their comedic chemistry. The film's meta-humor and clever satirical jabs at sequels elevate it beyond a typical comedy and make it a must-watch for fans of the genre. With a stellar supporting cast and an energetic soundtrack, 22 Jump Street is an entertaining and enjoyable film that will leave you laughing long after the credits roll.

A bazooka?
A bazooka?
A grenade. Why you gonna put it there?
A grenade. Why you gonna put it there?
A little seed needs to fly away free and find its soil.
A little seed needs to fly away free and find its soil.
A lone superstar.
A lone superstar.
A lot of money to make sure Jump Street keeps going.
A lot of money to make sure Jump Street keeps going.
A relationship is something that requires constant work.
A relationship is something that requires constant work.
Act like you have bullets, then.
Act like you have bullets, then.
Actually, we watched it a couple times.
Actually, we watched it a couple times.
All right, all right.
All right, all right.
All right, art major.
All right, art major.
All right, enough is enough. Boys, move in!
All right, enough is enough. Boys, move in!
All right, fine, I guess I'll just drag you.
All right, fine, I guess I'll just drag you.
All right, I'll just sit here and be silent.
All right, I'll just sit here and be silent.
All right, later.
All right, later.
All right, man. Look, I'm just gonna... I'm coming.
All right, man. Look, I'm just gonna... I'm coming.
All right, new assignment.
All right, new assignment.
All right, so what would you...
All right, so what would you...
All right, we're gonna lose 'em in the robotics lab.
All right, we're gonna lose 'em in the robotics lab.
All right, with everything that happened with Cynthia and WhyPhy,
All right, with everything that happened with Cynthia and WhyPhy,
All right? And when I'm with you, it just feels like you hold me down.
All right? And when I'm with you, it just feels like you hold me down.
All right? I just think it's healthy right now for us to try it.
All right? I just think it's healthy right now for us to try it.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right. I hate people who are late.
All right. I hate people who are late.
All right. Think you can stand on your own now?
All right. Think you can stand on your own now?
All right...
All right...
All the good qualities you have, I can feel inside of Maya.
All the good qualities you have, I can feel inside of Maya.
All we have to do now is rush the frat long enough
All we have to do now is rush the frat long enough
Already got cum on the mattress, dawg.
Already got cum on the mattress, dawg.
Also, I said a bunch of stuff earlier that you didn't acknowledge...
Also, I said a bunch of stuff earlier that you didn't acknowledge...
And a surprise start today for walk on freshman Brad McQuaid.
And a surprise start today for walk on freshman Brad McQuaid.
And as the clock ticks down, we've got time for one last play.
And as the clock ticks down, we've got time for one last play.
And Coach hated it. And so he cemented them in.
And Coach hated it. And so he cemented them in.
And connects with McQuaid!
And connects with McQuaid!
And find out who the dealer is.
And find out who the dealer is.
And get married, right, Rooster?
And get married, right, Rooster?
And guess what, we're cops.
And guess what, we're cops.
And he hangs on for the touchdown!
And he hangs on for the touchdown!
And he smiled at you, but you are completely blind to the fact...
And he smiled at you, but you are completely blind to the fact...
And I admire it, and I know he's your brother.
And I admire it, and I know he's your brother.
And I felt bad for her, so I told her I would room with her.
And I felt bad for her, so I told her I would room with her.
And I got a big ass raise to babysit you two fuckers again.
And I got a big ass raise to babysit you two fuckers again.
And I saw that he pays tuition for a student at MC State.
And I saw that he pays tuition for a student at MC State.
And I want you to be on it with me.
And I want you to be on it with me.
And I was worried that they got the wrong guy for it.
And I was worried that they got the wrong guy for it.
And I'll text you, three to five minutes or something?
And I'll text you, three to five minutes or something?
And if that happens, WhyPhy is going viral.
And if that happens, WhyPhy is going viral.
And if you know the person, you might be able to call them a "queer."
And if you know the person, you might be able to call them a "queer."
And if you rat me out, I framed my psych prof just for giving me a B minus.
And if you rat me out, I framed my psych prof just for giving me a B minus.
And in exchange, we wrote her logic paper for her.
And in exchange, we wrote her logic paper for her.
And no one will tell us anything.
And no one will tell us anything.
And not partners.
And not partners.
And now she's dead.
And now she's dead.
And now, for my favourite event.
And now, for my favourite event.
And overlooking, or even ignoring, contradictory information.
And overlooking, or even ignoring, contradictory information.
And she went to the school shrink three times a week.
And she went to the school shrink three times a week.
And shut up. Right?
And shut up. Right?
And Swiper.
And Swiper.
And talk about some important stuff.
And talk about some important stuff.
And that's what we have, we have fire.
And that's what we have, we have fire.
And the crowd rushes the field to try and knock down a goalpost.
And the crowd rushes the field to try and knock down a goalpost.
And the dealers check out the books.
And the dealers check out the books.
And the Statesmen take the field
And the Statesmen take the field
And the Statesmen win, 34 14.
And the Statesmen win, 34 14.
And then all these fans just started going, like...
And then all these fans just started going, like...
And then not say it in front of people and embarrass yourself?
And then not say it in front of people and embarrass yourself?
And then they party like it's goddamn 1999.
And then they party like it's goddamn 1999.
And then we hung out and we watched a movie.
And then we hung out and we watched a movie.
And then we're gonna go back to fighting and we'll pretend this never happened,
And then we're gonna go back to fighting and we'll pretend this never happened,
And then you wake up in bed next to a 40 year old freshman.
And then you wake up in bed next to a 40 year old freshman.
And there go the fans onto the field.
And there go the fans onto the field.
And they get laser focused for about four hours of studying,
And they get laser focused for about four hours of studying,
And they were chanting and chanting, and then the goalposts came down.
And they were chanting and chanting, and then the goalposts came down.
And we got a bigger problem. No more money in the budget.
And we got a bigger problem. No more money in the budget.
And we got some new dumb ass interns.
And we got some new dumb ass interns.
And we're cured.
And we're cured.
And we're gonna monitor the fuck out of what he's doing.
And we're gonna monitor the fuck out of what he's doing.
And we've ignored all the other clues.
And we've ignored all the other clues.
And why the fuck are you guys ganging up on me?
And why the fuck are you guys ganging up on me?
And you just got to keep hammering ceilings.
And you just got to keep hammering ceilings.
And you should do your thing with your connections and channels
And you should do your thing with your connections and channels
And you're gonna find another ceiling and you got to bust through that one,
And you're gonna find another ceiling and you got to bust through that one,
And you're just there with your thoughts,
And you're just there with your thoughts,
And you're like, "Oh, my gosh, I'm alone. Would anyone ever love me?" or whatever.
And you're like, "Oh, my gosh, I'm alone. Would anyone ever love me?" or whatever.
And Zook said I could room with him, you know,
And Zook said I could room with him, you know,
And, dude, you were fight, that Lambs...
And, dude, you were fight, that Lambs...
And, like, "Do I know anyone who would care if I just ever came out of this room or not?"
And, like, "Do I know anyone who would care if I just ever came out of this room or not?"
And, like, tried to protect the White House?
And, like, tried to protect the White House?
Another perfect hookup between Haythe and McQuaid.
Another perfect hookup between Haythe and McQuaid.
Another star wipe.
Another star wipe.
Any more poets in the audience?
Any more poets in the audience?
Anyone with half a brain, myself included, thought it was destined to fail spectacularly.
Anyone with half a brain, myself included, thought it was destined to fail spectacularly.
Apparently, they have many, many arms.
Apparently, they have many, many arms.
Are we gonna talk about how weird you were today with Dickson?
Are we gonna talk about how weird you were today with Dickson?
Are we waiting on anybody or you dining alone?
Are we waiting on anybody or you dining alone?
Are you fucking serious right now?
Are you fucking serious right now?
Are you guys, like, together?
Are you guys, like, together?
Are you kidding me, Yangs? Are you fucking high?
Are you kidding me, Yangs? Are you fucking high?
Are you kidding me? It's plastic.
Are you kidding me? It's plastic.
Are you okay with that?
Are you okay with that?
Are you the police?
Are you the police?
Are you two fucking around at school again?
Are you two fucking around at school again?
Are you wearing Kevlar?
Are you wearing Kevlar?
As if spending twice the money guaranteed twice the profit.
As if spending twice the money guaranteed twice the profit.
At Metro City Port, the tide comes in at 10:30 a.m. Then it will return to the sea.
At Metro City Port, the tide comes in at 10:30 a.m. Then it will return to the sea.
At the fucking Mumford & Sons concert and shit?
At the fucking Mumford & Sons concert and shit?
Banging bitches and getting wasted all fucking day.
Banging bitches and getting wasted all fucking day.
Because they're familiar and comfortable.
Because they're familiar and comfortable.
Because this is a college seminar, and that's how college seminars work.
Because this is a college seminar, and that's how college seminars work.
Because we have guns.
Because we have guns.
Because you weren't doing the same undercover student thing
Because you weren't doing the same undercover student thing
Because, you know, girls here love older dudes.
Because, you know, girls here love older dudes.
Beds... Shit.
Beds... Shit.
Begin to be crushed by the trash compactor of sadness.
Begin to be crushed by the trash compactor of sadness.
Behind Old Pop Wiggleby's sweet shop.
Behind Old Pop Wiggleby's sweet shop.
Best part is we get to do it together.
Best part is we get to do it together.
Best to keep it a secret.
Best to keep it a secret.
Bitch, please. I ain't going nowhere with you.
Bitch, please. I ain't going nowhere with you.
Black market exotic animals, just like we expected to be in there.
Black market exotic animals, just like we expected to be in there.
Blanche never did heroin.
Blanche never did heroin.
Blue 20!
Blue 20!
Blue 20!
Blue 20!
Boner!
Boner!
Boom, motherfuckers!
Boom, motherfuckers!
Boots.
Boots.
Boy, you lucky you even graduating.
Boy, you lucky you even graduating.
Brad McQuaid! Brad McQuaid! Brad McQuaid! Brad...
Brad McQuaid! Brad McQuaid! Brad McQuaid! Brad...
Brad! Spring break!
Brad! Spring break!
But a flower, it can't grow in a fist.
But a flower, it can't grow in a fist.
But every possible time you can do something dumb,
But every possible time you can do something dumb,
But he gave her a ton of pills and shit.
But he gave her a ton of pills and shit.
But he's our guy.
But he's our guy.
But I thought, you know, you could come by and meet the guys.
But I thought, you know, you could come by and meet the guys.
But I tried. It's the thought that matters.
But I tried. It's the thought that matters.
But instead of little green balls, they are human football players.
But instead of little green balls, they are human football players.
But my husband's from Northridge.
But my husband's from Northridge.
But this pork shit? Got to go!
But this pork shit? Got to go!
But we're both Batman.
But we're both Batman.
But what I didn't expect was tonight would go in the exact way that you would expect.
But what I didn't expect was tonight would go in the exact way that you would expect.
But what if Dickson was wrong?
But what if Dickson was wrong?
But when I was throwing you those passes,
But when I was throwing you those passes,
But you can't allow yourself to be held down by a guy just because he won't let go.
But you can't allow yourself to be held down by a guy just because he won't let go.
But you got lucky.
But you got lucky.
Buy me a Coke in Heaven. Jinx again.
Buy me a Coke in Heaven. Jinx again.
Bye bye, Terminator!
Bye bye, Terminator!
Bye.
Bye.
Can I have your gun? It's bigger.
Can I have your gun? It's bigger.
Can you shake him off?
Can you shake him off?
Can you shut it?
Can you shut it?
Cap, come on, Korean Jesus is right there.
Cap, come on, Korean Jesus is right there.
Cap, does Schmidt look any different to you?
Cap, does Schmidt look any different to you?
Captain, we have something really, really important to tell you about.
Captain, we have something really, really important to tell you about.
Captain, what the...
Captain, what the...
Captain?
Captain?
Captain's gonna kill us!
Captain's gonna kill us!
Carrots. Pumpernickels. Glow sticks. Twins!
Carrots. Pumpernickels. Glow sticks. Twins!
Carte blanche with the budget, motherfucker.
Carte blanche with the budget, motherfucker.
Cate Blanchett?
Cate Blanchett?
Check it out.
Check it out.
Choke me with your liver spotted hands?
Choke me with your liver spotted hands?
Co ed bathrooms.
Co ed bathrooms.
College kids aren't dumb like Eric.
College kids aren't dumb like Eric.
Colour! Colour! Number!
Colour! Colour! Number!
Come on to the roof, come on to the roof. Let's go.
Come on to the roof, come on to the roof. Let's go.
Come on, dude. They're just lobsters, dude. Come on. No, don't be afraid.
Come on, dude. They're just lobsters, dude. Come on. No, don't be afraid.
Come on, hook me up. Two little fucking string beans?
Come on, hook me up. Two little fucking string beans?
Come on, just wiggle the stick back and forth!
Come on, just wiggle the stick back and forth!
Come on, let's go, let's go. Come on.
Come on, let's go, let's go. Come on.
Come on, man, hook me up.
Come on, man, hook me up.
Come on, man, put your dick away. Put your fucking dick away.
Come on, man, put your dick away. Put your fucking dick away.
Come on, Schmidt!
Come on, Schmidt!
Come on, this way, it's faster. No, just come this... Schmidt! Schmidt!
Come on, this way, it's faster. No, just come this... Schmidt! Schmidt!
Come on, you can do it. Come on, come on, come on!
Come on, you can do it. Come on, come on, come on!
Come on!
Come on!
Coming to the stage, we got...
Coming to the stage, we got...
Cool tingling.
Cool tingling.
Covalent bonds.
Covalent bonds.
Cover me. I'm gonna go long.
Cover me. I'm gonna go long.
Crap!
Crap!
Cynthia, that girl who died, she used to come here all the time, right?
Cynthia, that girl who died, she used to come here all the time, right?
Dad, this is Doug, a guy that I'm dating.
Dad, this is Doug, a guy that I'm dating.
Dad, those are, like, old people drugs.
Dad, those are, like, old people drugs.
Damn, she's hot. Go talk to her.
Damn, she's hot. Go talk to her.
Damn.
Damn.
Dance academy.
Dance academy.
Designed it myself. We got an espresso bar.
Designed it myself. We got an espresso bar.
Dickson said, "This guy's the dealer."
Dickson said, "This guy's the dealer."
Did you even bother to look at the fucking picture?
Did you even bother to look at the fucking picture?
Did you just call us "faggots"?
Did you just call us "faggots"?
Did you just get shot, like, right after I fucking said that?
Did you just get shot, like, right after I fucking said that?
Did you know her?
Did you know her?
Did you know I used gay slurs in high school?
Did you know I used gay slurs in high school?
Did you really just check to see if you were wearing your badge?
Did you really just check to see if you were wearing your badge?
Did you really just say that you want to investigate other people?
Did you really just say that you want to investigate other people?
Did you really just say that?
Did you really just say that?
Did you say the Yangs?
Did you say the Yangs?
Do the same thing as last time, everyone's happy.
Do the same thing as last time, everyone's happy.
Do the same thing.
Do the same thing.
Do you get to fuck or do you just get to watch people fuck?
Do you get to fuck or do you just get to watch people fuck?
Do you have any idea
Do you have any idea
Do you know how expensive that's gonna be?
Do you know how expensive that's gonna be?
Do you like weather?
Do you like weather?
Do you remember that stupid tattoo?
Do you remember that stupid tattoo?
Do you think he saw us?
Do you think he saw us?
Do you think they mean WhyPhy the drug or Wi Fi like the Internet?
Do you think they mean WhyPhy the drug or Wi Fi like the Internet?
Do you understand that this face right here, you bragged to that face?
Do you understand that this face right here, you bragged to that face?
Do you understand this means Zook is the dealer?
Do you understand this means Zook is the dealer?
Do you want out? If you want out, just say it.
Do you want out? If you want out, just say it.
Doc.
Doc.
Don't be a pussy!
Don't be a pussy!
Don't do it, Leatherface.
Don't do it, Leatherface.
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
Don't fuck my daughter.
Don't fuck my daughter.
Don't leave me out here!
Don't leave me out here!
Don't sweat it, brother. I'm liberated. Totally.
Don't sweat it, brother. I'm liberated. Totally.
Don't Teen Wolf on the truck! Don't leave me here alone!
Don't Teen Wolf on the truck! Don't leave me here alone!
Don't throw a fucking dead person's dildo at me.
Don't throw a fucking dead person's dildo at me.
Don't wake up my dick.
Don't wake up my dick.
Dope. That looks like cum.
Dope. That looks like cum.
Doug!
Doug!
Doug?
Doug?
Drink, motherfucker! Drink, motherfucker!
Drink, motherfucker! Drink, motherfucker!
Drop the fucking gun! Seriously!
Drop the fucking gun! Seriously!
Dude, holy shit, bro. Great fucking catch, dude.
Dude, holy shit, bro. Great fucking catch, dude.
Dude, I am so sorry for being a homophone.
Dude, I am so sorry for being a homophone.
Dude, I got to go or I'm gonna blow my cover, okay?
Dude, I got to go or I'm gonna blow my cover, okay?
Dude, I got to go. I got to go.
Dude, I got to go. I got to go.
Dude, I'm in. I'm all in.
Dude, I'm in. I'm all in.
Dude, I'm so fucking pumped you're gonna be on this fucking team, bro.
Dude, I'm so fucking pumped you're gonna be on this fucking team, bro.
Dude, I'm sorry. I got my Q tip in your meat, bro.
Dude, I'm sorry. I got my Q tip in your meat, bro.
Dude, if it's like last time,
Dude, if it's like last time,
Dude, in Human Sexuality,
Dude, in Human Sexuality,
Dude, that was our car. We shared so much in that car!
Dude, that was our car. We shared so much in that car!
Dude, this is the fucking best moment of my life!
Dude, this is the fucking best moment of my life!
Dude, this is what I've always wanted. Just me and you, buddy.
Dude, this is what I've always wanted. Just me and you, buddy.
Dude, we're even about the arm thing, okay? Right?
Dude, we're even about the arm thing, okay? Right?
Dude, you could make it into the anals of football history, too.
Dude, you could make it into the anals of football history, too.
Dude, you could make it into the Hall of Fame.
Dude, you could make it into the Hall of Fame.
Dude, you know what this needs?
Dude, you know what this needs?
Dude, you wear pants, too?
Dude, you wear pants, too?
Dude, you're tripping. We do everything together.
Dude, you're tripping. We do everything together.
Dude, your ceiling is, like,
Dude, your ceiling is, like,
Dude?
Dude?
Dude.
Dude.
Early stages, very early stages.
Early stages, very early stages.
Easy, bitch. My hands are hurting.
Easy, bitch. My hands are hurting.
Embedding is our tendency to latch on to the first bit of information that we're offered
Embedding is our tendency to latch on to the first bit of information that we're offered
Enjoy the food.
Enjoy the food.
Enough for one person only.
Enough for one person only.
Eric, am I forcing you into anything?
Eric, am I forcing you into anything?
Eric, are you awake?
Eric, are you awake?
Eric! Close your eyes and tell me who's talking right now.
Eric! Close your eyes and tell me who's talking right now.
Eric.
Eric.
Eric's been all up in that shit. Isn't that right, Eric?
Eric's been all up in that shit. Isn't that right, Eric?
Even their end zone celebration is in perfect sync.
Even their end zone celebration is in perfect sync.
Everyone say in the barrio, "Sleepy, he like the Mexican Wolverine" and shit.
Everyone say in the barrio, "Sleepy, he like the Mexican Wolverine" and shit.
Everything we've done and thought has been based on that fact,
Everything we've done and thought has been based on that fact,
Exactly like a case we had recently at a high school.
Exactly like a case we had recently at a high school.
Exactly the same.
Exactly the same.
Excuse me, Excuse me, Excuse me.
Excuse me, Excuse me, Excuse me.
Fieto.
Fieto.
Finally something I'm amazing at.
Finally something I'm amazing at.
Find him and we find the supplier.
Find him and we find the supplier.
Find the supplier, but don't cost the department no more money.
Find the supplier, but don't cost the department no more money.
Find the tattoo, find the dealer.
Find the tattoo, find the dealer.
Flew in on the red eye, hasn't gotten a wink of sleep.
Flew in on the red eye, hasn't gotten a wink of sleep.
Focus!
Focus!
For shooting my penis off?
For shooting my penis off?
For starters, Zook has it.
For starters, Zook has it.
For the opening game against the University of College Generals.
For the opening game against the University of College Generals.
For the sake of your daughter, please keep it together.
For the sake of your daughter, please keep it together.
For this one, we need a ton of different suggestions.
For this one, we need a ton of different suggestions.
For Zeta!
For Zeta!
Friction creates fire, and that leads to lessons learned.
Friction creates fire, and that leads to lessons learned.
Fuck a 21 Jump Street, and fuck a Korean Jesus.
Fuck a 21 Jump Street, and fuck a Korean Jesus.
Fuck high school, right?
Fuck high school, right?
Fuck high school.
Fuck high school.
Fuck this goalpost, bro!
Fuck this goalpost, bro!
Fuck this. I'm not doing this.
Fuck this. I'm not doing this.
Fuck yes!
Fuck yes!
Fuck you, Arnold Schwarzenegger!
Fuck you, Arnold Schwarzenegger!
Fuck you, brain.
Fuck you, brain.
Fuck you, doves!
Fuck you, doves!
Fuck you, you little walk on fuck!
Fuck you, you little walk on fuck!
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Fuck, I just came so hard!
Fuck, I just came so hard!
Fuck, man, I don't know. I do a lot of stupid tattoos to drunk kids.
Fuck, man, I don't know. I do a lot of stupid tattoos to drunk kids.
Fuck, yeah!
Fuck, yeah!
Fuck, yeah.
Fuck, yeah.
Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuck! I'll be right back. I gotta go. I'll be right back. Sorry.
Fuck! I'll be right back. I gotta go. I'll be right back. Sorry.
Fuck! I'm having a bad trip! We're having a bad trip!
Fuck! I'm having a bad trip! We're having a bad trip!
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck. How are we gonna catch him now?
Fuck. How are we gonna catch him now?
Fuck. Jinx.
Fuck. Jinx.
Fucking complicated. What is this?
Fucking complicated. What is this?
Fucking learn how to hit!
Fucking learn how to hit!
Gang up on him. Okay, seriously.
Gang up on him. Okay, seriously.
George Washington was a black lesbian.
George Washington was a black lesbian.
Get off me unless you're gonna fuck me!
Get off me unless you're gonna fuck me!
Get off!
Get off!
Get out of the car! Get on the ground!
Get out of the car! Get on the ground!
Get out of the way!
Get out of the way!
Get ready for a lifetime of being badass motherfuckers.
Get ready for a lifetime of being badass motherfuckers.
Get the fuck out of my office.
Get the fuck out of my office.
Get the fuck out of the way!
Get the fuck out of the way!
Get the fuck out. You heard him.
Get the fuck out. You heard him.
Get up and hit me, you fucking pussy!
Get up and hit me, you fucking pussy!
Get up, Old Man River!
Get up, Old Man River!
Get wet, baby!
Get wet, baby!
Get your wrinkly hands off me!
Get your wrinkly hands off me!
Girl fight.
Girl fight.
Give it up, asshole! And nice parking job!
Give it up, asshole! And nice parking job!
Give me the goddamn string beans.
Give me the goddamn string beans.
Give the fucking guy some water! He's black! He's been through a lot!
Give the fucking guy some water! He's black! He's been through a lot!
Given all these strong feelings,
Given all these strong feelings,
Go into incredibly descriptive details of the story, so we all know.
Go into incredibly descriptive details of the story, so we all know.
Go to the police station,
Go to the police station,
Go, go!
Go, go!
Go, go!
Go, go!
Go.
Go.
God, I love walk on day!
God, I love walk on day!
God, isn't this great?
God, isn't this great?
God.
God.
Good job on the cuffs, baby girl.
Good job on the cuffs, baby girl.
Good luck, guys.
Good luck, guys.
Got a fucking bazooka for an arm. Know what I mean?
Got a fucking bazooka for an arm. Know what I mean?
Got it.
Got it.
Got locked out of her dorm, ended up falling off the roof.
Got locked out of her dorm, ended up falling off the roof.
Got room for one of these babies.
Got room for one of these babies.
Great, that was great sex. You're good at it.
Great, that was great sex. You're good at it.
Guys, can you just give us some space?
Guys, can you just give us some space?
Happy for you.
Happy for you.
Haythe drops back.
Haythe drops back.
He could, like, be a part of our thing.
He could, like, be a part of our thing.
He doesn't know we're partners.
He doesn't know we're partners.
He follows him around everywhere, so I doubt we get Brad without Doug.
He follows him around everywhere, so I doubt we get Brad without Doug.
He literally is terrified of being by himself.
He literally is terrified of being by himself.
He said you were sucking his dick.
He said you were sucking his dick.
He teamed up with a Mexican cartel and they're running all this shit through the port.
He teamed up with a Mexican cartel and they're running all this shit through the port.
He's a bag of dicks!
He's a bag of dicks!
He's a scout. It's D l.
He's a scout. It's D l.
He's Brad's brother.
He's Brad's brother.
He's got the drugs!
He's got the drugs!
He's in jail now, so don't fuck with me.
He's in jail now, so don't fuck with me.
He's literally reaching out for you.
He's literally reaching out for you.
He's looking good. Look at those pectoral muscles.
He's looking good. Look at those pectoral muscles.
He's only got one arm!
He's only got one arm!
He's really taking it out on the omelette bar.
He's really taking it out on the omelette bar.
He's the fucking Terminator!
He's the fucking Terminator!
He's under a lot of pressure at work.
He's under a lot of pressure at work.
Hello, football.
Hello, football.
Help! Help!
Help! Help!
Help! No more music!
Help! No more music!
Here we go, here we go.
Here we go, here we go.
Heroin, you know, cocaine...
Heroin, you know, cocaine...
Hey
Hey
Hey
Hey
Hey
Hey
Hey, anyway, it was so nice chatting with you, man.
Hey, anyway, it was so nice chatting with you, man.
Hey, Doug, you're not gonna be weird about this, are you?
Hey, Doug, you're not gonna be weird about this, are you?
Hey, dude, where are you? We're warming up. The game's about to start.
Hey, dude, where are you? We're warming up. The game's about to start.
Hey, guess what.
Hey, guess what.
Hey, hey! Look alive!
Hey, hey! Look alive!
Hey, I'm an officer, all right? Just take me in. I'll explain later.
Hey, I'm an officer, all right? Just take me in. I'll explain later.
Hey, Lauren.
Hey, Lauren.
Hey, let's go. We got to go. How many bullets you got left?
Hey, let's go. We got to go. How many bullets you got left?
Hey, listen, there's a grenade in my shorts. Can you reach it?
Hey, listen, there's a grenade in my shorts. Can you reach it?
Hey, look, man,
Hey, look, man,
Hey, Maya Angelou!
Hey, Maya Angelou!
Hey, Maya Angelou.
Hey, Maya Angelou.
Hey, my partner here, he want to see the product.
Hey, my partner here, he want to see the product.
Hey, Schmidt, look!
Hey, Schmidt, look!
Hey, Schmidt!
Hey, Schmidt!
Hey, that girl's in my psych class.
Hey, that girl's in my psych class.
Hey, we got to pay for this shit.
Hey, we got to pay for this shit.
Hey, what'd you say when you threw the grenade up there?
Hey, what'd you say when you threw the grenade up there?
Hey, why don't you come to practice today?
Hey, why don't you come to practice today?
Hey, y'all, he's fucking the captain's daughter! Yo!
Hey, y'all, he's fucking the captain's daughter! Yo!
Hey, you guys play football?
Hey, you guys play football?
Hey, you guys want some of this sandwich?
Hey, you guys want some of this sandwich?
Hey, you know, we have this rush party at Zeta.
Hey, you know, we have this rush party at Zeta.
Hey, you should get some tips from this guy.
Hey, you should get some tips from this guy.
Hey, you want another beer? I'm gonna get another beer.
Hey, you want another beer? I'm gonna get another beer.
Hey, you want to be friends?
Hey, you want to be friends?
Hey, you want to do anything else other than work out today?
Hey, you want to do anything else other than work out today?
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey! Get off of my chopper!
Hey! Get off of my chopper!
Hey! Hey.
Hey! Hey.
Hey. How you doing?
Hey. How you doing?
Hey. What's up?
Hey. What's up?
Hi. I'm Annie. I'm your new mother in law.
Hi. I'm Annie. I'm your new mother in law.
High school mascot.
High school mascot.
Hilarious shirt that signals we drink alcohol.
Hilarious shirt that signals we drink alcohol.
Hold on, guys.
Hold on, guys.
Holy Moses!
Holy Moses!
Holy shit, he's good.
Holy shit, he's good.
Holy shit, you are looking fit.
Holy shit, you are looking fit.
Holy shit!
Holy shit!
Holy shit!
Holy shit!
Holy shit!
Holy shit!
Holy shit!
Holy shit!
How about a flight academy?
How about a flight academy?
How are you?
How are you?
How did we find the dealers so easy the first time?
How did we find the dealers so easy the first time?
How did you two meet?
How did you two meet?
How do you drive this thing?
How do you drive this thing?
How do you know this person?
How do you know this person?
How hard can it be? Shoot them!
How hard can it be? Shoot them!
How long have you been there?
How long have you been there?
How the fuck did you know we were partners?
How the fuck did you know we were partners?
How the fuck we gonna infiltrate the dealer if the dealer is dead?
How the fuck we gonna infiltrate the dealer if the dealer is dead?
How was the sex for you? It was fun for me. It was a good time.
How was the sex for you? It was fun for me. It was a good time.
How was the...
How was the...
How you bitches like Jump Street now?
How you bitches like Jump Street now?
How you doing, Mr Nice Plant? Get your fucking ass in there.
How you doing, Mr Nice Plant? Get your fucking ass in there.
How you doing, Rooster?
How you doing, Rooster?
How's your classes going, Doug?
How's your classes going, Doug?
Hurry up, okay?
Hurry up, okay?
I actually think it's really powerful.
I actually think it's really powerful.
I am such a bitch when Aunt Flo shows up.
I am such a bitch when Aunt Flo shows up.
I can only imagine.
I can only imagine.
I can shoot right through your shoulder, hit the bitch right in the chest.
I can shoot right through your shoulder, hit the bitch right in the chest.
I can't believe the Koreans bought their church back.
I can't believe the Koreans bought their church back.
I can't believe the punks I have to deal with these days.
I can't believe the punks I have to deal with these days.
I can't believe we've been talking all night.
I can't believe we've been talking all night.
I can't breathe.
I can't breathe.
I can't do it any more! I can't do it any more!
I can't do it any more! I can't do it any more!
I can't find it!
I can't find it!
I can't get in.
I can't get in.
I can't give you the same feeling that these guys can.
I can't give you the same feeling that these guys can.
I can't jump down! I'm not, like, fucking Spider Man!
I can't jump down! I'm not, like, fucking Spider Man!
I can't, like, move around in these things.
I can't, like, move around in these things.
I can't!
I can't!
I couldn't leave you hanging, man!
I couldn't leave you hanging, man!
I decided for you.
I decided for you.
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I didn't expect spring break to be this stinky.
I didn't expect spring break to be this stinky.
I didn't know if we were gonna punch or kiss!
I didn't know if we were gonna punch or kiss!
I didn't look down.
I didn't look down.
I didn't mean that. You know that, right?
I didn't mean that. You know that, right?
I didn't take a dirty shot on your daughter, okay?
I didn't take a dirty shot on your daughter, okay?
I do not understand how it works.
I do not understand how it works.
I do, and I will.
I do, and I will.
I do. I hear you can get WhyPhy on campus anywhere 24/7.
I do. I hear you can get WhyPhy on campus anywhere 24/7.
I don't even think they know how to read.
I don't even think they know how to read.
I don't even want to kiss you!
I don't even want to kiss you!
I don't have a clean shot, Schmidt.
I don't have a clean shot, Schmidt.
I don't have a single lead.
I don't have a single lead.
I don't have any more cameras. I've said it five times.
I don't have any more cameras. I've said it five times.
I don't have any prior convictions.
I don't have any prior convictions.
I don't know if it's your thing,
I don't know if it's your thing,
I don't know if that's what I want.
I don't know if that's what I want.
I don't know parkour, so...
I don't know parkour, so...
I don't know what you're talking about, man. He look exactly the same to me.
I don't know what you're talking about, man. He look exactly the same to me.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I don't know where the fuck I am right now.
I don't know where the fuck I am right now.
I don't know, maybe I should just stay closer to him.
I don't know, maybe I should just stay closer to him.
I don't know, maybe.
I don't know, maybe.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know. Maybe the school directory or something.
I don't know. Maybe the school directory or something.
I don't know. Maybe we should just...
I don't know. Maybe we should just...
I don't like the idea of us doing stuff separately.
I don't like the idea of us doing stuff separately.
I don't think this guy does stickers.
I don't think this guy does stickers.
I don't... Jesus. That makes no sense to me.
I don't... Jesus. That makes no sense to me.
I expected tonight would go in a way that you wouldn't expect,
I expected tonight would go in a way that you wouldn't expect,
I feel like he could fuck this whole thing up for us.
I feel like he could fuck this whole thing up for us.
I finally got my Lambo!
I finally got my Lambo!
I found something in this WhyPhy case that caught my attention.
I found something in this WhyPhy case that caught my attention.
I fucking hate my dad so much.
I fucking hate my dad so much.
I fucking hate spring break!
I fucking hate spring break!
I get one choice. I get one thing that I'm not...
I get one choice. I get one thing that I'm not...
I got a new identity that's gonna be killer. I'll be throwing it to you to make it legit.
I got a new identity that's gonna be killer. I'll be throwing it to you to make it legit.
I got new glasses.
I got new glasses.
I got offered a scholarship to play football here next year.
I got offered a scholarship to play football here next year.
I got on $800 shoes, and you can't even see the motherfuckers.
I got on $800 shoes, and you can't even see the motherfuckers.
I got something way better than that.
I got something way better than that.
I got to get around you, man. I can't jump up. I got a broken ankle.
I got to get around you, man. I can't jump up. I got a broken ankle.
I got you!
I got you!
I gotta take a piss.
I gotta take a piss.
I have a friend who knows a guy at UMC.
I have a friend who knows a guy at UMC.
I have an idea. Why don't we all sit together? Would that be fun?
I have an idea. Why don't we all sit together? Would that be fun?
I have had that exact vision, like, my entire life.
I have had that exact vision, like, my entire life.
I have so much adrenaline right now!
I have so much adrenaline right now!
I have time off.
I have time off.
I just chill and... You know how chill Zook is.
I just chill and... You know how chill Zook is.
I just don't understand what his problem is with you specifically.
I just don't understand what his problem is with you specifically.
I just don't want to start off on the wrong foot with this guy.
I just don't want to start off on the wrong foot with this guy.
I just don't want you to screw up.
I just don't want you to screw up.
I just feel like sometimes he's not even trying any more.
I just feel like sometimes he's not even trying any more.
I just love when you're sitting there in a room,
I just love when you're sitting there in a room,
I just realised something.
I just realised something.
I just want to get in bed and watch Friends all day.
I just want to get in bed and watch Friends all day.
I just want to say that
I just want to say that
I just wish you could fly with me.
I just wish you could fly with me.
I just... I just don't...
I just... I just don't...
I kind of need you to do it.
I kind of need you to do it.
I knew we were gonna be connected, just like that.
I knew we were gonna be connected, just like that.
I know the first time he met you, you dropped a fucking sandwich on his foot
I know the first time he met you, you dropped a fucking sandwich on his foot
I know, but we can't see his face, so we don't know who it is.
I know, but we can't see his face, so we don't know who it is.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know. Shut up. Go.
I know. Shut up. Go.
I like fruit.
I like fruit.
I look so fucking badass!
I look so fucking badass!
I looked into the Ghost's background,
I looked into the Ghost's background,
I love meet cute stories.
I love meet cute stories.
I love spring break. But I do have to say,
I love spring break. But I do have to say,
I love to be alone. I am, like, the best at it.
I love to be alone. I am, like, the best at it.
I mean, Brad, this could be our shot.
I mean, Brad, this could be our shot.
I mean, even if you're a little older, that's cool, man,
I mean, even if you're a little older, that's cool, man,
I mean, except right now.
I mean, except right now.
I mean, for all we know, a lot of people could have that tattoo.
I mean, for all we know, a lot of people could have that tattoo.
I mean, I have tenure. I can really say whatever I want.
I mean, I have tenure. I can really say whatever I want.
I mean, I'm not listening to you guys fornicate all night long.
I mean, I'm not listening to you guys fornicate all night long.
I mean, it looks cool, but, I mean, it's just so wasteful.
I mean, it looks cool, but, I mean, it's just so wasteful.
I mean, it's just a tape, right?
I mean, it's just a tape, right?
I mean, like, he was opening up beer cans with his eyeballs.
I mean, like, he was opening up beer cans with his eyeballs.
I mean, was this really your entire plan? Coming in here with no backup?
I mean, was this really your entire plan? Coming in here with no backup?
I mean, we care so much more because she's black.
I mean, we care so much more because she's black.
I mean, yeah, school's important or whatever,
I mean, yeah, school's important or whatever,
I mean, you are a perfectly good guy. You're very honest and nice.
I mean, you are a perfectly good guy. You're very honest and nice.
I mean, you're obviously good enough to play on the team.
I mean, you're obviously good enough to play on the team.
I miss climbing so much. Come on, let's go. Come on.
I miss climbing so much. Come on, let's go. Come on.
I need absolute silence while I fall into character.
I need absolute silence while I fall into character.
I need to drive, 'cause you're faster on foot.
I need to drive, 'cause you're faster on foot.
I never once wanted to kiss you!
I never once wanted to kiss you!
I only need one arm to punch you in the dick.
I only need one arm to punch you in the dick.
I picked up on that early. Please, continue the dialogue.
I picked up on that early. Please, continue the dialogue.
I really want you guys to hang out.
I really want you guys to hang out.
I said pull the fucking truck over right fucking now!
I said pull the fucking truck over right fucking now!
I said, "Something cool."
I said, "Something cool."
I suck at improvising. I don't want to do it.
I suck at improvising. I don't want to do it.
I suspect you're partners.
I suspect you're partners.
I teach about a principle called embedding.
I teach about a principle called embedding.
I think I know exactly who he's talking about.
I think I know exactly who he's talking about.
I think it's bizarre that I haven't cut your motherfucking nuts off.
I think it's bizarre that I haven't cut your motherfucking nuts off.
I think it's pretty popular.
I think it's pretty popular.
I think my information was stronger.
I think my information was stronger.
I think there's blood in my eye.
I think there's blood in my eye.
I think we are tripping, but...
I think we are tripping, but...
I think we lost them.
I think we lost them.
I think we're in the same psych class.
I think we're in the same psych class.
I think we're tripping.
I think we're tripping.
I think what he's really trying to say is that we care equally.
I think what he's really trying to say is that we care equally.
I think you got the wrong guy, homes.
I think you got the wrong guy, homes.
I think you're mistaken.
I think you're mistaken.
I thought it was a pretty good idea.
I thought it was a pretty good idea.
I thought your hip popped out at one point.
I thought your hip popped out at one point.
I used to have the other Destiny's Children, but now I'm just
I used to have the other Destiny's Children, but now I'm just
I want some fucking devilled eggs. I like fruit. Don't you like fruit?
I want some fucking devilled eggs. I like fruit. Don't you like fruit?
I want to be able to have that, that same thing, in, like
I want to be able to have that, that same thing, in, like
I want to see you get crazy!
I want to see you get crazy!
I want you right now to say whatever you want.
I want you right now to say whatever you want.
I want you to question what I'm saying.
I want you to question what I'm saying.
I wanted a relationship without friction. Dude, you need friction to create fire.
I wanted a relationship without friction. Dude, you need friction to create fire.
I was Peter Pan, but then I was, like, late.
I was Peter Pan, but then I was, like, late.
I was supposed to go to Berkeley.
I was supposed to go to Berkeley.
I was talking to him for a second. He's got a big mouth, okay?
I was talking to him for a second. He's got a big mouth, okay?
I was thinking about the case,
I was thinking about the case,
I wasn't told that I had a 9:00 a.m. session.
I wasn't told that I had a 9:00 a.m. session.
I wish you can un fuck my daughter, but I'm gonna let that be the past.
I wish you can un fuck my daughter, but I'm gonna let that be the past.
I would say that
I would say that
I...
I...
I'd opened a crate and the octopus had leapt onto my face.
I'd opened a crate and the octopus had leapt onto my face.
I'll be right back.
I'll be right back.
I'll break your motherfucking legs! Break your legs!
I'll break your motherfucking legs! Break your legs!
I'll get it off.
I'll get it off.
I'll see you later.
I'll see you later.
I'll see you.
I'll see you.
I'm 19, so...
I'm 19, so...
I'm a solo artist now, like Beyoncé.
I'm a solo artist now, like Beyoncé.
I'm an art major.
I'm an art major.
I'm Booker.
I'm Booker.
I'm coming for you, motherfucker!
I'm coming for you, motherfucker!
I'm cutting glass.
I'm cutting glass.
I'm doing fucking great.
I'm doing fucking great.
I'm Eric's bitch.
I'm Eric's bitch.
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
I'm fucking here. You happy?
I'm fucking here. You happy?
I'm getting a divorce.
I'm getting a divorce.
I'm glad you're having a good time with yourself.
I'm glad you're having a good time with yourself.
I'm going to ask you to stop talking.
I'm going to ask you to stop talking.
I'm going to shoot them in the face for that! That was our fucking car!
I'm going to shoot them in the face for that! That was our fucking car!
I'm going to veto that poster. It's a touch childish.
I'm going to veto that poster. It's a touch childish.
I'm gonna die!
I'm gonna die!
I'm gonna do it. I just got to get it at the right angle.
I'm gonna do it. I just got to get it at the right angle.
I'm gonna get the car.
I'm gonna get the car.
I'm gonna give you an out by punching you in the face.
I'm gonna give you an out by punching you in the face.
I'm gonna need a motherfucking crepe before I go crazy.
I'm gonna need a motherfucking crepe before I go crazy.
I'm gonna need you to improvise. Okay?
I'm gonna need you to improvise. Okay?
I'm gonna tell you something, all right?
I'm gonna tell you something, all right?
I'm gonna throw up.
I'm gonna throw up.
I'm gonna... I'm gonna split. I'll text you later.
I'm gonna... I'm gonna split. I'll text you later.
I'm having sex with a human woman.
I'm having sex with a human woman.
I'm impressed you caught up to me.
I'm impressed you caught up to me.
I'm just gonna go home.
I'm just gonna go home.
I'm just here to do my assignments and get out, that's it.
I'm just here to do my assignments and get out, that's it.
I'm just saying, it's, like, all fun and games,
I'm just saying, it's, like, all fun and games,
I'm just saying, the kid sucks.
I'm just saying, the kid sucks.
I'm kidding. It's a football.
I'm kidding. It's a football.
I'm late.
I'm late.
I'm never gonna make any money, so don't tell my parents, but...
I'm never gonna make any money, so don't tell my parents, but...
I'm not doing this, okay? All right?
I'm not doing this, okay? All right?
I'm not gonna fuck you!
I'm not gonna fuck you!
I'm not gonna take a shit the entire time I'm here.
I'm not gonna take a shit the entire time I'm here.
I'm not Mr and Mrs Smith ing you. This wasn't a sexy fight.
I'm not Mr and Mrs Smith ing you. This wasn't a sexy fight.
I'm on spring break.
I'm on spring break.
I'm pretty close with my grandpa, too.
I'm pretty close with my grandpa, too.
I'm pretty great.
I'm pretty great.
I'm ready.
I'm ready.
I'm really, really glad you're back, Schmidt.
I'm really, really glad you're back, Schmidt.
I'm sleeping with two of my students. Her and her. I actually am.
I'm sleeping with two of my students. Her and her. I actually am.
I'm so focused, dude.
I'm so focused, dude.
I'm so focused, too.
I'm so focused, too.
I'm so focused.
I'm so focused.
I'm sorry it's not a fucking Lambo. Shut up and get in.
I'm sorry it's not a fucking Lambo. Shut up and get in.
I'm sorry, but we're gonna have to investigate your new BFF.
I'm sorry, but we're gonna have to investigate your new BFF.
I'm sorry, he took one human sexuality class, he thinks he's Harvey Milk.
I'm sorry, he took one human sexuality class, he thinks he's Harvey Milk.
I'm straight outta Compton,
I'm straight outta Compton,
I'm taking my time. Shit, you shot me in my goddamn foot.
I'm taking my time. Shit, you shot me in my goddamn foot.
I'm the first person in my family to pretend to go to college.
I'm the first person in my family to pretend to go to college.
I'm the happiest I've ever been, so I'm just having a great time with myself.
I'm the happiest I've ever been, so I'm just having a great time with myself.
I'm trying to hear them be nice about me.
I'm trying to hear them be nice about me.
I'm warning you,
I'm warning you,
I'm your best night...
I'm your best night...
I'm your bitch.
I'm your bitch.
I'm your worst nightmare.
I'm your worst nightmare.
I'm, like, a "hit it, continue to hit it both physically and emotionally" kind of guy, so...
I'm, like, a "hit it, continue to hit it both physically and emotionally" kind of guy, so...
I'm, like, basically done fucking watching your shit all the fucking time.
I'm, like, basically done fucking watching your shit all the fucking time.
I'm...
I'm...
I'm... I'm writing a...
I'm... I'm writing a...
I've been here the whole time.
I've been here the whole time.
I've been running like crazy!
I've been running like crazy!
I've eaten six of these.
I've eaten six of these.
I've fucked a thousand girls by now and I don't know, at the end of the day,
I've fucked a thousand girls by now and I don't know, at the end of the day,
I've got a first impression for you.
I've got a first impression for you.
I've got to get home so I can feed my...
I've got to get home so I can feed my...
I've never tried to kiss you.
I've never tried to kiss you.
If I die, I'm gonna kill both of you motherfuckers!
If I die, I'm gonna kill both of you motherfuckers!
If it isn't Turner and Hooch, in the flesh.
If it isn't Turner and Hooch, in the flesh.
If one were to fall, they would just lose each other.
If one were to fall, they would just lose each other.
If they have a great sense of humour, but I don't.
If they have a great sense of humour, but I don't.
If you do, he'll leave this shitty programme.
If you do, he'll leave this shitty programme.
If you don't have anything to fucking say, open your fucking mouth.
If you don't have anything to fucking say, open your fucking mouth.
If you don't interlock it, it's not hand holding.
If you don't interlock it, it's not hand holding.
If you don't make it through tonight,
If you don't make it through tonight,
If you see that safety line up that deep, though, hit me quicker.
If you see that safety line up that deep, though, hit me quicker.
If you thought of me as a person instead of a woman,
If you thought of me as a person instead of a woman,
If you want to come.
If you want to come.
If you're going into the family business, you will have to have a clean record.
If you're going into the family business, you will have to have a clean record.
In about four hours, you're gonna be tripping.
In about four hours, you're gonna be tripping.
In Russia.
In Russia.
Infiltrate the dealer, find the supplier.
Infiltrate the dealer, find the supplier.
Instead of the person that you're clearly pretending to be right now,
Instead of the person that you're clearly pretending to be right now,
Is it okay if we just talk?
Is it okay if we just talk?
Is somebody up there?
Is somebody up there?
Is that a hickey?
Is that a hickey?
Is that all I'm good for? Just watching a fucking door?
Is that all I'm good for? Just watching a fucking door?
Is that my bathing suit?
Is that my bathing suit?
Is that vodka?
Is that vodka?
Is this...
Is this...
It bleeds so much, it's crazy.
It bleeds so much, it's crazy.
It is so refreshing to have a case with a black victim.
It is so refreshing to have a case with a black victim.
It really makes me miss the '90s,
It really makes me miss the '90s,
It was bizarre not to share the fact
It was bizarre not to share the fact
It was Dora and Diego
It was Dora and Diego
It was just like, "What am I hearing?
It was just like, "What am I hearing?
It was like I knew where you were gonna be before you went there.
It was like I knew where you were gonna be before you went there.
It was, like, the sound of, like, a 30 year old sprinkler finally going off for the first time.
It was, like, the sound of, like, a 30 year old sprinkler finally going off for the first time.
It'd be really fun, I think.
It'd be really fun, I think.
It's 2014, asshole. You can't fucking use "faggot."
It's 2014, asshole. You can't fucking use "faggot."
It's a fascinating principle...
It's a fascinating principle...
It's a laser pointer.
It's a laser pointer.
It's a meat qute sandwich.
It's a meat qute sandwich.
It's a shitty made car. It's not good.
It's a shitty made car. It's not good.
It's a tie, really, how much we care.
It's a tie, really, how much we care.
It's a trick play! These two are practically interchangeable.
It's a trick play! These two are practically interchangeable.
It's Adderall mixed with Ecstasy mixed with God knows what else.
It's Adderall mixed with Ecstasy mixed with God knows what else.
It's awesome. You guys want to see it?
It's awesome. You guys want to see it?
It's biting my face!
It's biting my face!
It's funny, 'cause he's my brother. So...
It's funny, 'cause he's my brother. So...
It's getting worse lately.
It's getting worse lately.
It's gonna be at every college in the country.
It's gonna be at every college in the country.
It's gonna be fucking worth it, I promise, all right?
It's gonna be fucking worth it, I promise, all right?
It's gonna be like this, dude, for the rest of our lives.
It's gonna be like this, dude, for the rest of our lives.
It's gonna be so worth it, dude.
It's gonna be so worth it, dude.
It's gonna be super fun. All right? Same as last time.
It's gonna be super fun. All right? Same as last time.
It's gonna claw your face. It's gonna claw your face.
It's gonna claw your face. It's gonna claw your face.
It's impossible. You can't fucking do it.
It's impossible. You can't fucking do it.
It's inking in my mouth!
It's inking in my mouth!
It's inking in my mouth!
It's inking in my mouth!
It's just, when I'm on the football field and I'm diving for a pass, I feel like I can fly.
It's just, when I'm on the football field and I'm diving for a pass, I feel like I can fly.
It's just, you know, now it'll be an open thing.
It's just, you know, now it'll be an open thing.
It's just...
It's just...
It's like a Batmobile.
It's like a Batmobile.
It's like a whole new type of sandwich.
It's like a whole new type of sandwich.
It's like the elevator doors opening in The Shining.
It's like the elevator doors opening in The Shining.
It's like these two share a single brain, Bob.
It's like these two share a single brain, Bob.
It's like they're trying to hit 'em or something.
It's like they're trying to hit 'em or something.
It's more fun that way. So, let's try it one more time.
It's more fun that way. So, let's try it one more time.
It's my old high school team. The Plainview Red Herrings.
It's my old high school team. The Plainview Red Herrings.
It's not coming down!
It's not coming down!
It's not not you.
It's not not you.
It's okay. It's just a couple of faggots.
It's okay. It's just a couple of faggots.
It's on now, dawg.
It's on now, dawg.
It's only 2:00? I usually go to dinner at, like, 2:00 a.m., so...
It's only 2:00? I usually go to dinner at, like, 2:00 a.m., so...
It's only 2:00. I thought it was late. Do you want to come in?
It's only 2:00. I thought it was late. Do you want to come in?
It's pretty gross.
It's pretty gross.
It's really not that funny.
It's really not that funny.
It's so confusing!
It's so confusing!
It's so strong! It's really on there, man.
It's so strong! It's really on there, man.
It's some kind of weird split screen!
It's some kind of weird split screen!
It's these two beings
It's these two beings
It's true.
It's true.
Its tentacle is eating me!
Its tentacle is eating me!
J. Bohnes, aka...
J. Bohnes, aka...
Jenko!
Jenko!
Jenko!
Jenko!
Jenko!
Jenko!
Jenko! Jenko!
Jenko! Jenko!
Jesus Christ, have you ever heard of, "Don't get high on your own supply"?
Jesus Christ, have you ever heard of, "Don't get high on your own supply"?
Jesus Christ!
Jesus Christ!
Jinx. Buy me a beer.
Jinx. Buy me a beer.
Joste Nillsen, biggest trafficker of illegal goods in Metro City.
Joste Nillsen, biggest trafficker of illegal goods in Metro City.
Just a light skinned princess with a dream and an amazing voice.
Just a light skinned princess with a dream and an amazing voice.
Just ask. It's polite.
Just ask. It's polite.
Just came to see how you are.
Just came to see how you are.
Just can't hear that right now.
Just can't hear that right now.
Just exhausted from inventing Facebook or whatever website people our age use.
Just exhausted from inventing Facebook or whatever website people our age use.
Just stick with football.
Just stick with football.
Just to, like, plan the stuff out ahead of time, make sure it's funny,
Just to, like, plan the stuff out ahead of time, make sure it's funny,
Just, like, one time, for old times' sake.
Just, like, one time, for old times' sake.
Just, like, one time. One time thing. No big commitment or stress to each other.
Just, like, one time. One time thing. No big commitment or stress to each other.
Keith Yang.
Keith Yang.
Kids don't check out books anymore, right?
Kids don't check out books anymore, right?
Kind of like the dirty shot you took on my daughter.
Kind of like the dirty shot you took on my daughter.
Lam bros! Yes!
Lam bros! Yes!
Lambos are lame.
Lambos are lame.
Lambs .
Lambs .
Leaning up against each other in perfect balance.
Leaning up against each other in perfect balance.
Let's do something...
Let's do something...
Let's do this, Schmidt.
Let's do this, Schmidt.
Let's do this.
Let's do this.
Let's go, boss. We gotta go.
Let's go, boss. We gotta go.
Let's go, man!
Let's go, man!
Let's go.
Let's go.
Let's go. Come on, buddy. You got it.
Let's go. Come on, buddy. You got it.
Let's hear it for your Metropolitan City State Statesmen!
Let's hear it for your Metropolitan City State Statesmen!
Let's hear it once again, MC State, for your Dynamic Duo.
Let's hear it once again, MC State, for your Dynamic Duo.
Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Let's see what you got.
Let's see what you got.
Let's talk.
Let's talk.
Let's use that focus to figure out a way to get into Zook's house.
Let's use that focus to figure out a way to get into Zook's house.
Library.
Library.
Light the torch!
Light the torch!
Like a meat qute.
Like a meat qute.
Like that's going to work.
Like that's going to work.
Like this isn't even worth saving.
Like this isn't even worth saving.
Like what?
Like what?
Like you haven't wanted to kiss me the whole time.
Like you haven't wanted to kiss me the whole time.
Like, a meat Q tip.
Like, a meat Q tip.
Like, Blanche did heroin.
Like, Blanche did heroin.
Like, the longest amount of time you could think of right now.
Like, the longest amount of time you could think of right now.
Like, well, we fucking can, bro. All you gotta do is join the team.
Like, well, we fucking can, bro. All you gotta do is join the team.
Listen, Schmidt, I gotta tell you something.
Listen, Schmidt, I gotta tell you something.
Listening for coded messages in lectures.
Listening for coded messages in lectures.
Literally and figuratively.
Literally and figuratively.
Look at Dickson's office. Looks like a giant cube of ice.
Look at Dickson's office. Looks like a giant cube of ice.
Look at him, it's, like, all the same.
Look at him, it's, like, all the same.
Look at it swim.
Look at it swim.
Look at that. Vietnamese Jesus just dripping swagoo.
Look at that. Vietnamese Jesus just dripping swagoo.
Look at this crap.
Look at this crap.
Look where you're going!
Look where you're going!
Look who got off the motherfucking leash.
Look who got off the motherfucking leash.
Look, I apologise about the Zook thing.
Look, I apologise about the Zook thing.
Look, I can't, all right?
Look, I can't, all right?
Look, I don't think the tattoo means what you think it means.
Look, I don't think the tattoo means what you think it means.
Look, I have an in with Zook.
Look, I have an in with Zook.
Look, I just want you to know I'm not, like, a "hit it and quit it" type of fella.
Look, I just want you to know I'm not, like, a "hit it and quit it" type of fella.
Look, I know Zook's your buddy and you don't want him to be guilty,
Look, I know Zook's your buddy and you don't want him to be guilty,
Look, I'm not supposed to be here to play football.
Look, I'm not supposed to be here to play football.
Look, if you don't say something, people will never stop discriminating.
Look, if you don't say something, people will never stop discriminating.
Look, if you... If you want to,
Look, if you... If you want to,
Look, it's me, Zook.
Look, it's me, Zook.
Look, ladies, nobody gave a shit about the Jump Street reboot when you first came on.
Look, ladies, nobody gave a shit about the Jump Street reboot when you first came on.
Look, man, do you think it's cool if you come?
Look, man, do you think it's cool if you come?
Look, they sent us in undercover at a college to find the dealer of this new synthetic,
Look, they sent us in undercover at a college to find the dealer of this new synthetic,
Look, we are looking aggressively for this very specific tattoo.
Look, we are looking aggressively for this very specific tattoo.
Look, whatever happens tonight, you have to keep up, okay?
Look, whatever happens tonight, you have to keep up, okay?
Look, you know, loyalty's cool,
Look, you know, loyalty's cool,
Look! Look!
Look! Look!
Looks like MC State's got a new power couple.
Looks like MC State's got a new power couple.
Lube on my face.
Lube on my face.
Make fun of the poetry major.
Make fun of the poetry major.
Man, it must be hard being so different.
Man, it must be hard being so different.
Man, it's my memory.
Man, it's my memory.
Man, shut the fuck up.
Man, shut the fuck up.
Man, this is BS. I thought we were going to actual college, not online college.
Man, this is BS. I thought we were going to actual college, not online college.
Man, we're getting too old for this shit.
Man, we're getting too old for this shit.
Man, when you were telling the story last night, you had so much detail!
Man, when you were telling the story last night, you had so much detail!
May... What?
May... What?
Maya, hurry up!
Maya, hurry up!
Maya!
Maya!
Maya?
Maya?
Maya.
Maya.
Maybe he could give you something for your weird old face.
Maybe he could give you something for your weird old face.
Maybe my partner has a tracking device in his pocket right now.
Maybe my partner has a tracking device in his pocket right now.
Maybe this is a good thing.
Maybe this is a good thing.
Maybe we should just investigate different people.
Maybe we should just investigate different people.
Maybe we should just... We should just branch out.
Maybe we should just... We should just branch out.
Maybe we were only supposed to do this once.
Maybe we were only supposed to do this once.
Maybe.
Maybe.
McQuaid crosses in an end around.
McQuaid crosses in an end around.
McQuaid throws down the field to Haythe.
McQuaid throws down the field to Haythe.
McQuaid! McQuaid! McQuaid!
McQuaid! McQuaid! McQuaid!
Me and this guy are having a meat qute.
Me and this guy are having a meat qute.
Mercedes just took my dad that way!
Mercedes just took my dad that way!
Metro Port. One hour.
Metro Port. One hour.
Military school.
Military school.
Missed a spot.
Missed a spot.
Move!
Move!
Mr McQuaid, college is a wonderful place.
Mr McQuaid, college is a wonderful place.
Mr McQuaid?
Mr McQuaid?
Mr Walters, we should...
Mr Walters, we should...
My God! Fuck!
My God! Fuck!
My gosh! I'm sweaty.
My gosh! I'm sweaty.
My Human Sexuality class is blowing my mind.
My Human Sexuality class is blowing my mind.
My legs are tired.
My legs are tired.
My name is Jeff.
My name is Jeff.
My name's not Doug, it's Schmidt.
My name's not Doug, it's Schmidt.
My side's so much scarier than yours.
My side's so much scarier than yours.
Nah.
Nah.
Name one other person who has this.
Name one other person who has this.
Neither.
Neither.
Never! No!
Never! No!
New assignment...
New assignment...
Next assignment. A semester at sea.
Next assignment. A semester at sea.
Next up is Brad McQuaid.
Next up is Brad McQuaid.
Next year, we'll probably just be right back across the street. Just next door.
Next year, we'll probably just be right back across the street. Just next door.
Nice job, super sleuths.
Nice job, super sleuths.
Nice to meet you, man.
Nice to meet you, man.
Nice to meet you, too, man.
Nice to meet you, too, man.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Nice twist.
Nice twist.
Nice, right?
Nice, right?
Nice.
Nice.
Nineteen minutes late to pinochle,
Nineteen minutes late to pinochle,
No fucking way.
No fucking way.
No one's gonna fucking notice.
No one's gonna fucking notice.
No way. It's my turn. I owe you a life debt.
No way. It's my turn. I owe you a life debt.
No, actually, I was busy with the investigation.
No, actually, I was busy with the investigation.
No, but I have a super high tolerance for...
No, but I have a super high tolerance for...
No, dude, come on, that's you.
No, dude, come on, that's you.
No, he's actually not our guy. I would know.
No, he's actually not our guy. I would know.
No, I don't want out, okay?
No, I don't want out, okay?
No, I don't want to stay here. I'm flying. This is amazing.
No, I don't want to stay here. I'm flying. This is amazing.
No, I don't.
No, I don't.
No, I know, and it's like, that doesn't even hurt, like, at all.
No, I know, and it's like, that doesn't even hurt, like, at all.
No, I'm good.
No, I'm good.
No, I'm just one of those people that really likes to spend time with myself.
No, I'm just one of those people that really likes to spend time with myself.
No, I'm paranoid because it could be dangerous.
No, I'm paranoid because it could be dangerous.
No, it's not the thought that counts. It's fucking taking the bullet.
No, it's not the thought that counts. It's fucking taking the bullet.
No, look, I know, okay? lt's just...
No, look, I know, okay? lt's just...
No, look, we can still investigate
No, look, we can still investigate
No, man, I got my... I got my meat in your Q tip.
No, man, I got my... I got my meat in your Q tip.
No, man, that wasn't Boots! Boots isn't a real name!
No, man, that wasn't Boots! Boots isn't a real name!
No, no, no, I got this.
No, no, no, I got this.
No, no, no. Hey, he's a student. He didn't do anything.
No, no, no. Hey, he's a student. He didn't do anything.
No, the fucking dumbest possible thing is letting two cops blah blah blah
No, the fucking dumbest possible thing is letting two cops blah blah blah
No, this is actually my laptop.
No, this is actually my laptop.
No, we're fine. Look, we made it. We made it. It's all good.
No, we're fine. Look, we made it. We made it. It's all good.
No, we're not. If it was a white person, I wouldn't even care.
No, we're not. If it was a white person, I wouldn't even care.
No, you can't hug me right now.
No, you can't hug me right now.
No, you don't. Come on, let's go!
No, you don't. Come on, let's go!
No, you dumb motherfucker. "WhyPhy."
No, you dumb motherfucker. "WhyPhy."
No, you're just paranoid because we're about to trip balls.
No, you're just paranoid because we're about to trip balls.
No, you're not.
No, you're not.
No!
No!
No! No!
No! No!
No! We broke everything!
No! We broke everything!
No! You're leaning in again!
No! You're leaning in again!
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No. God. Don't go!
No. God. Don't go!
No. That's Schmidt.
No. That's Schmidt.
No. You're gonna have an awesome time, too, because I'm gonna make sure of it.
No. You're gonna have an awesome time, too, because I'm gonna make sure of it.
Nobody sold it to us.
Nobody sold it to us.
Nobody?
Nobody?
None of you tell McQuaid that he's good, all right?
None of you tell McQuaid that he's good, all right?
None.
None.
Not always.
Not always.
Nothing else?
Nothing else?
Now we have no leads. What are we supposed to do now?
Now we have no leads. What are we supposed to do now?
Now, for your next mission,
Now, for your next mission,
Now, gentlemen, we're not gonna sit here and pretend
Now, gentlemen, we're not gonna sit here and pretend
Now, just like you did before,
Now, just like you did before,
Now, obviously, we've all heard this statement before,
Now, obviously, we've all heard this statement before,
Now, these kids take this shit,
Now, these kids take this shit,
Now, you know, we sometimes cling to things
Now, you know, we sometimes cling to things
Obviously, right? I mean, the guy's... The guy's all time. You guys, let's be honest.
Obviously, right? I mean, the guy's... The guy's all time. You guys, let's be honest.
Oh, I feel so...
Oh, I feel so...
Oh, my God, it's 8:00. I have class, actually.
Oh, my God, it's 8:00. I have class, actually.
Oh, my God, you flew!
Oh, my God, you flew!
Oh, my God! This is...
Oh, my God! This is...
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry, honey.
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry, honey.
Oh, my God. Will you please, just for once, just back me up?
Oh, my God. Will you please, just for once, just back me up?
Oh, my gosh, Maya, look at him. He's still so sharp. That's so inspiring.
Oh, my gosh, Maya, look at him. He's still so sharp. That's so inspiring.
Oh, y'all like psychology?
Oh, y'all like psychology?
Oh, yes.
Oh, yes.
Okay, and Brad. Brad could be, like, our guy.
Okay, and Brad. Brad could be, like, our guy.
Okay, does anybody have anything they want to share?
Okay, does anybody have anything they want to share?
Okay, great. You apologised. What's that worth, man?
Okay, great. You apologised. What's that worth, man?
Okay, just sow our oats a little.
Okay, just sow our oats a little.
Okay, Okay
Okay, Okay
Okay, okay, Okay
Okay, okay, Okay
Okay, so here's the plan.
Okay, so here's the plan.
Okay, so I guess I'll just catch you later, then.
Okay, so I guess I'll just catch you later, then.
Okay, so no? Dane? All right.
Okay, so no? Dane? All right.
Okay, so, Yangs, you'll take my dead roommate's spot.
Okay, so, Yangs, you'll take my dead roommate's spot.
Okay, so...
Okay, so...
Okay, that's a good point.
Okay, that's a good point.
Okay, that's a pretty good piece of information.
Okay, that's a pretty good piece of information.
Okay, we got somebody. All right, give it up, guys.
Okay, we got somebody. All right, give it up, guys.
Okay, we got time for just one more improv game.
Okay, we got time for just one more improv game.
Okay, we're on it.
Okay, we're on it.
Okay, well, now I have to make a fucking example out of you.
Okay, well, now I have to make a fucking example out of you.
Okay, well, so lovely talking with you.
Okay, well, so lovely talking with you.
Okay, yeah, exactly. I'm the fucking stupid one. Yeah.
Okay, yeah, exactly. I'm the fucking stupid one. Yeah.
Okay, you can leave the room. Just get the fuck out.
Okay, you can leave the room. Just get the fuck out.
Okay, you see this? This is strong.
Okay, you see this? This is strong.
Okay!
Okay!
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay. Bye.
Okay. Bye.
Okay. Okay.
Okay. Okay.
Okay. So you definitely cannot talk any shit, 'cause...
Okay. So you definitely cannot talk any shit, 'cause...
Okay. Well, sometimes I feel like that we should be more like the Yangs.
Okay. Well, sometimes I feel like that we should be more like the Yangs.
Okay. What do Lambos have to do with touching children?
Okay. What do Lambos have to do with touching children?
Old family recipe.
Old family recipe.
Old man coming through!
Old man coming through!
On what?
On what?
One less cracker ass cracker to worry about.
One less cracker ass cracker to worry about.
One more time.
One more time.
One of us got laid last night.
One of us got laid last night.
One, two, three, four, five...
One, two, three, four, five...
One, two, three!
One, two, three!
Only to try to run when you're first faced with talking with me?
Only to try to run when you're first faced with talking with me?
Or I should apologise for...
Or I should apologise for...
Or maybe I should be more like your beautiful Zook.
Or maybe I should be more like your beautiful Zook.
Or maybe we had a far more elaborate plan.
Or maybe we had a far more elaborate plan.
Or not the dealer.
Or not the dealer.
Or the tattoo could just be a dead end.
Or the tattoo could just be a dead end.
Or whatever and, like...
Or whatever and, like...
Out, all right.
Out, all right.
Partners for life.
Partners for life.
Perfect.
Perfect.
Picasso? Picasso.
Picasso? Picasso.
Please respond to my text.
Please respond to my text.
Please. You think you're the first partners to come in here looking for help,
Please. You think you're the first partners to come in here looking for help,
Pledges, tonight, we separate the weak from the strong.
Pledges, tonight, we separate the weak from the strong.
Plus, there's mad fuckable girls here.
Plus, there's mad fuckable girls here.
Poetry, okay. I got it.
Poetry, okay. I got it.
Police work.
Police work.
Potential witnesses.
Potential witnesses.
Professor gets into a lively conversation with the student.
Professor gets into a lively conversation with the student.
Puerto, Mexico, let's hear you get crazy!
Puerto, Mexico, let's hear you get crazy!
Pull the truck over!
Pull the truck over!
Pull yourself up here.
Pull yourself up here.
Ready?
Ready?
Ready? Go!
Ready? Go!
Ready? Set, hut!
Ready? Set, hut!
Really?
Really?
Really? I don't remember that at all. You must just have a really plain face.
Really? I don't remember that at all. You must just have a really plain face.
Really? More twins?
Really? More twins?
Really? Okay.
Really? Okay.
Right in the crack.
Right in the crack.
Right through it. Right through it.
Right through it. Right through it.
Right? Yes.
Right? Yes.
Right? You went right?
Right? You went right?
Rooster is getting some pop. Why don't you go check him out?
Rooster is getting some pop. Why don't you go check him out?
Rooster,
Rooster,
Rooster. What's up, bro?
Rooster. What's up, bro?
Safety.
Safety.
Same assignment.
Same assignment.
Same identities.
Same identities.
Say something cool when you throw it!
Say something cool when you throw it!
Say whatever you want.
Say whatever you want.
Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter!
Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter!
Schmidt, come on! Let's go!
Schmidt, come on! Let's go!
Schmidt, will you hurry up!
Schmidt, will you hurry up!
Schmidt, you clearly... Yo, this is the best thing ever!
Schmidt, you clearly... Yo, this is the best thing ever!
Schmidt! Get over here! I'm handcuffed!
Schmidt! Get over here! I'm handcuffed!
Schmidt?
Schmidt?
Scuba class.
Scuba class.
See, you're fucking this up. You talk way too much.
See, you're fucking this up. You talk way too much.
Set, hut!
Set, hut!
Set, hut!
Set, hut!
Shake him off! Shake him off!
Shake him off! Shake him off!
She can't be that smart. She's a fucking art major.
She can't be that smart. She's a fucking art major.
She doesn't get that it's always worse the second time around.
She doesn't get that it's always worse the second time around.
She seems nice.
She seems nice.
She took some WhyPhy,
She took some WhyPhy,
She was a student at MC State.
She was a student at MC State.
She was Cynthia's roommate,
She was Cynthia's roommate,
She's horrible.
She's horrible.
She's like real black.
She's like real black.
She's smart, she's an art major.
She's smart, she's an art major.
Shit was nasty!
Shit was nasty!
Shit, sorry.
Shit, sorry.
Shit, that's a really outside of the box
Shit, that's a really outside of the box
Shit, there's Ghost!
Shit, there's Ghost!
Shit, your trip sucks.
Shit, your trip sucks.
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
Shit! Fuck!
Shit! Fuck!
Shit! No!
Shit! No!
Shit! Shit!
Shit! Shit!
Shit! You have the right to remain silent...
Shit! You have the right to remain silent...
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit. Man, you're a legend.
Shit. Man, you're a legend.
Shit. My brother needs me again.
Shit. My brother needs me again.
Shoot him!
Shoot him!
Shoot them! Shoot them!
Shoot them! Shoot them!
Shut up. I'm thinking.
Shut up. I'm thinking.
Since we're gonna be really focused,
Since we're gonna be really focused,
Sir, can I just say,
Sir, can I just say,
Six hours of makeup?
Six hours of makeup?
Snap, we're still saying the same thing. This is amazing!
Snap, we're still saying the same thing. This is amazing!
So Brad... Brad's in.
So Brad... Brad's in.
So high.
So high.
So I was thinking that I could do that, maybe.
So I was thinking that I could do that, maybe.
So it'll go like this. I'm so hungry, I wish I had a...
So it'll go like this. I'm so hungry, I wish I had a...
So it's just about support.
So it's just about support.
So many fucking stairs.
So many fucking stairs.
So much lube in my face!
So much lube in my face!
So now this department has invested
So now this department has invested
So now you two motherfuckers is in the crosshairs.
So now you two motherfuckers is in the crosshairs.
So this is the girl?
So this is the girl?
So tight!
So tight!
So we don't have to think about him any more.
So we don't have to think about him any more.
So we'll go to all Cynthia's classes and activities, ask around about the drug
So we'll go to all Cynthia's classes and activities, ask around about the drug
So you are high school sweethearts.
So you are high school sweethearts.
So you guys hang out here a lot?
So you guys hang out here a lot?
So you mean I brought the tracking device.
So you mean I brought the tracking device.
So you probably have a bunch of stuff that you have to do today.
So you probably have a bunch of stuff that you have to do today.
So you're not gonna be weird about this?
So you're not gonna be weird about this?
So, am I supposed to just sit here and not act like I hear every one of your problems?
So, am I supposed to just sit here and not act like I hear every one of your problems?
So, do you have any body art or, like, any ink I could see?
So, do you have any body art or, like, any ink I could see?
So, I guess you have no interest in having a real job in the future.
So, I guess you have no interest in having a real job in the future.
So, is there someone who supports you?
So, is there someone who supports you?
So, look, I just wanted to say that, like,
So, look, I just wanted to say that, like,
So, they want the same shit, so here we go.
So, they want the same shit, so here we go.
So, we just need you guys to fill in the blank in a sentence that we're gonna set up.
So, we just need you guys to fill in the blank in a sentence that we're gonna set up.
So, where are you from originally?
So, where are you from originally?
So...
So...
So...
So...
So...
So...
Some bacon machine that my mom got me.
Some bacon machine that my mom got me.
Somebody's out there, they're cooking up a new drug.
Somebody's out there, they're cooking up a new drug.
Someone may swing by, but we can... We can order without them.
Someone may swing by, but we can... We can order without them.
Someone's bringing a shit ton of that stuff down to Puerto, Mexico, for spring break.
Someone's bringing a shit ton of that stuff down to Puerto, Mexico, for spring break.
Something cool!
Something cool!
Something cool!
Something cool!
Sometimes I like to have the participants make physical contact.
Sometimes I like to have the participants make physical contact.
Sow our cop oats.
Sow our cop oats.
Spring break yourself, fool.
Spring break yourself, fool.
Spring break, motherfucker.
Spring break, motherfucker.
Spring break, motherfuckers!
Spring break, motherfuckers!
Stairs are so much faster.
Stairs are so much faster.
Stands for "Work Hard? Yes. Play Hard? Yes."
Stands for "Work Hard? Yes. Play Hard? Yes."
Start over from the top.
Start over from the top.
State name! Number! State name! Number!
State name! Number! State name! Number!
Stay, stay here.
Stay, stay here.
Stay!
Stay!
Stop being a pussy and go talk to her. Go.
Stop being a pussy and go talk to her. Go.
Stop yelling at me! You're distracting me!
Stop yelling at me! You're distracting me!
Students and parents.
Students and parents.
Super high tech police gear.
Super high tech police gear.
Sure, yeah, why not?
Sure, yeah, why not?
Surprise. There's two more arms.
Surprise. There's two more arms.
Sweet throw, dude.
Sweet throw, dude.
Swiper?
Swiper?
Take care of her, okay? It'll be glorious, I promise.
Take care of her, okay? It'll be glorious, I promise.
Take them out, guys. They're cops.
Take them out, guys. They're cops.
Tell 'em about Mousie's quinceañera, man.
Tell 'em about Mousie's quinceañera, man.
Tell 'em about that crazy adventure you guys had.
Tell 'em about that crazy adventure you guys had.
Tell me about it.
Tell me about it.
Tell us about the war, any one of them.
Tell us about the war, any one of them.
Thank God.
Thank God.
Thank you very much. You're an amazing doctor.
Thank you very much. You're an amazing doctor.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thanks for lying to me.
Thanks for lying to me.
Thanks, dude. I can't believe it's the same...
Thanks, dude. I can't believe it's the same...
Thanks, guys. Lady J is gonna be up next for you.
Thanks, guys. Lady J is gonna be up next for you.
Thanks, Mom. Listen, we're undercover, okay?
Thanks, Mom. Listen, we're undercover, okay?
Thanks.
Thanks.
That doesn't sound anything like me!
That doesn't sound anything like me!
That doesn't sound anything like me.
That doesn't sound anything like me.
That doesn't sound anything like me.
That doesn't sound anything like me.
That doesn't sound like us. I mean...
That doesn't sound like us. I mean...
That expensive equipment, this fucking office...
That expensive equipment, this fucking office...
That guy is harmless, dude. Look at him, he's nice.
That guy is harmless, dude. Look at him, he's nice.
That helmet looks kind of lame.
That helmet looks kind of lame.
That is just like a little helmet machine.
That is just like a little helmet machine.
That is not happening right now! No!
That is not happening right now! No!
That makes me so happy for you.
That makes me so happy for you.
That one.
That one.
That seemed like such a real argument.
That seemed like such a real argument.
That was way too fast and pretty... Way too... A little bit too furious.
That was way too fast and pretty... Way too... A little bit too furious.
That your daughter went to MC State.
That your daughter went to MC State.
That's 'cause you guys look like fucking narcs, all right?
That's 'cause you guys look like fucking narcs, all right?
That's a direct order, motherfucker! Come over here!
That's a direct order, motherfucker! Come over here!
That's a little better!
That's a little better!
That's a made up name.
That's a made up name.
That's a pretty random question.
That's a pretty random question.
That's a thing that people do. That's stand up comedy.
That's a thing that people do. That's stand up comedy.
That's a weird time to be Q tipping.
That's a weird time to be Q tipping.
That's bullshit, man! You Sleepy!
That's bullshit, man! You Sleepy!
That's bullshit.
That's bullshit.
That's cool that you said that, 'cause I actually thought it was really powerful, too,
That's cool that you said that, 'cause I actually thought it was really powerful, too,
That's crazy. We have that brother connection, too.
That's crazy. We have that brother connection, too.
That's cum. Okay. All right.
That's cum. Okay. All right.
That's Cynthia Watson.
That's Cynthia Watson.
That's exactly the answer I wanted, Mr McQuaid!
That's exactly the answer I wanted, Mr McQuaid!
That's exactly what it looks like.
That's exactly what it looks like.
That's for Cynthia, who's dead.
That's for Cynthia, who's dead.
That's fucking dangerous!
That's fucking dangerous!
That's funny.
That's funny.
That's great.
That's great.
That's great.
That's great.
That's her buying drugs on campus. And that's the dealer.
That's her buying drugs on campus. And that's the dealer.
That's improv, bitch.
That's improv, bitch.
That's it! Grab it!
That's it! Grab it!
That's it. Come on.
That's it. Come on.
That's Jeffe, man.
That's Jeffe, man.
That's just not a good impression.
That's just not a good impression.
That's no fun at all.
That's no fun at all.
That's not true. I have a serious girlfriend.
That's not true. I have a serious girlfriend.
That's probably what you should do, because that stuff's funny.
That's probably what you should do, because that stuff's funny.
That's really fucking stupid.
That's really fucking stupid.
That's right, I did, and it sucked, but I'd do it again.
That's right, I did, and it sucked, but I'd do it again.
That's right, Jim. They both have one half a brain.
That's right, Jim. They both have one half a brain.
That's Schmidt being a little bitch.
That's Schmidt being a little bitch.
That's so crazy.
That's so crazy.
That's so sweet of them.
That's so sweet of them.
That's the car you got?
That's the car you got?
That's the kind of definition I want out of you, man.
That's the kind of definition I want out of you, man.
That's the one fucking thing you were supposed to remember.
That's the one fucking thing you were supposed to remember.
That's true.
That's true.
That's Vietnamese Jesus. See, this a Vietnamese church.
That's Vietnamese Jesus. See, this a Vietnamese church.
That's what you want?
That's what you want?
That's why we have these guys to do it for us.
That's why we have these guys to do it for us.
That's you.
That's you.
That's your domain. I do the physical shit.
That's your domain. I do the physical shit.
That's, like, what they did on The Golden Girls.
That's, like, what they did on The Golden Girls.
That's... Funny, dude. You're funny.
That's... Funny, dude. You're funny.
The accents are gone?
The accents are gone?
The average price of cocaine has dropped 70% in the last 30 years.
The average price of cocaine has dropped 70% in the last 30 years.
The case is closed.
The case is closed.
The detail was so rich! It was rich detail!
The detail was so rich! It was rich detail!
The Eiffel Tower is made of dildos.
The Eiffel Tower is made of dildos.
The eyes were "I just got punched in the face" eyes.
The eyes were "I just got punched in the face" eyes.
The fans used to rush the field after every win and tear down the goalposts,
The fans used to rush the field after every win and tear down the goalposts,
The first time we saw the photo of Cynthia buying WhyPhy,
The first time we saw the photo of Cynthia buying WhyPhy,
The Ghost is right there, okay? He's about to meet up with the supplier.
The Ghost is right there, okay? He's about to meet up with the supplier.
The kid's pretty rude to make us wait like this.
The kid's pretty rude to make us wait like this.
The lobster for one person.
The lobster for one person.
The only way you can fail this class is by not becoming who you truly are.
The only way you can fail this class is by not becoming who you truly are.
The supplier is putting drugs inside the books in the library,
The supplier is putting drugs inside the books in the library,
Their QB, he's not playing well. They're not happy with the situation.
Their QB, he's not playing well. They're not happy with the situation.
Then fucking climb around. Come on, climb around.
Then fucking climb around. Come on, climb around.
Then stop trying!
Then stop trying!
Then what happened?
Then what happened?
Then you better fight like two men.
Then you better fight like two men.
Then you're gonna bring it back to your turf, and you're gonna sell the shit out of it.
Then you're gonna bring it back to your turf, and you're gonna sell the shit out of it.
Then your dealer's probably selling you some pretty stepped on shit.
Then your dealer's probably selling you some pretty stepped on shit.
There was a lot of expensive stuff in there!
There was a lot of expensive stuff in there!
There's a fucking dragon in here!
There's a fucking dragon in here!
There's a microchip in this empanada.
There's a microchip in this empanada.
There's a reflection right here.
There's a reflection right here.
There's a sock on the door! Don't come in!
There's a sock on the door! Don't come in!
There's dudes there everywhere. All right, your plan is stupid. I'm sorry.
There's dudes there everywhere. All right, your plan is stupid. I'm sorry.
There's fucking birds and shit in here! There's actual shit!
There's fucking birds and shit in here! There's actual shit!
There's no friction with me and Zook. We're the same.
There's no friction with me and Zook. We're the same.
There's not a big ass elephant in the room.
There's not a big ass elephant in the room.
These are my parents.
These are my parents.
These two are peas in a pod, Bob,
These two are peas in a pod, Bob,
They all start to look the same to me.
They all start to look the same to me.
They always kidnap the girl.
They always kidnap the girl.
They call you that?
They call you that?
They can't fire me. I'm indestructible.
They can't fire me. I'm indestructible.
They had five guys in the draft last year.
They had five guys in the draft last year.
They made us!
They made us!
They still have books? I thought they just put the books inside the computers.
They still have books? I thought they just put the books inside the computers.
They storm the field, and still do it, but they just bounce around.
They storm the field, and still do it, but they just bounce around.
They want me to make a tape.
They want me to make a tape.
They weren't "kiss me" eyes.
They weren't "kiss me" eyes.
They're destroying everything!
They're destroying everything!
They're going into the stadium!
They're going into the stadium!
They're gone!
They're gone!
They're gonna kill us!
They're gonna kill us!
Things are different since you didn't go to college.
Things are different since you didn't go to college.
Think I might have did it on a football player. Guy with a red Mohawk. I don't know.
Think I might have did it on a football player. Guy with a red Mohawk. I don't know.
Thirty three, 34...
Thirty three, 34...
This class is such a gut.
This class is such a gut.
This fucking... Waiter!
This fucking... Waiter!
This guy's a fucking cop.
This guy's a fucking cop.
This is a shoot out.
This is a shoot out.
This is a work in progress.
This is a work in progress.
This is awesome. Like, way more expensive for no reason.
This is awesome. Like, way more expensive for no reason.
This is bullshit!
This is bullshit!
This is bullshit.
This is bullshit.
This is crazy, all these
This is crazy, all these
This is Cynthia's therapist's office. This is our investigation.
This is Cynthia's therapist's office. This is our investigation.
This is fucking bullshit. Shit!
This is fucking bullshit. Shit!
This is our city.
This is our city.
This is quite enough.
This is quite enough.
This is so baller!
This is so baller!
This is so boring. No one's getting shot.
This is so boring. No one's getting shot.
This is so scary!
This is so scary!
This is supposed to be fun. It's just drinking and bonding games.
This is supposed to be fun. It's just drinking and bonding games.
This is the basis of this whole course, and that's the beauty of college.
This is the basis of this whole course, and that's the beauty of college.
This is the most uncomfortable fistfight I've ever been in.
This is the most uncomfortable fistfight I've ever been in.
This is the place.
This is the place.
This is what the fuck is going on.
This is what the fuck is going on.
This is what we have to do to win their trust.
This is what we have to do to win their trust.
This is where you get to decide who you actually are,
This is where you get to decide who you actually are,
This is why I don't drink.
This is why I don't drink.
This isn't the spring break you imagined?
This isn't the spring break you imagined?
This look like some shit Iron Man would have. Shit's expensive!
This look like some shit Iron Man would have. Shit's expensive!
This piece is called Areolas.
This piece is called Areolas.
This stuff wasn't meant for you. It was meant to be private.
This stuff wasn't meant for you. It was meant to be private.
This tattoo? This absurdly specific tattoo?
This tattoo? This absurdly specific tattoo?
This time, foreign exchange students.
This time, foreign exchange students.
This took a turn.
This took a turn.
This was actually an octopus related incident.
This was actually an octopus related incident.
This?
This?
Those are, like, two of my favourite things to do.
Those are, like, two of my favourite things to do.
Three.
Three.
Time to prove that Zook's the dealer.
Time to prove that Zook's the dealer.
To confirm that Rooster has that bazooka tattoo.
To confirm that Rooster has that bazooka tattoo.
Together.
Together.
Tokyo Drift!
Tokyo Drift!
Tracy Morgan.
Tracy Morgan.
Traffic school!
Traffic school!
Twenty's the record!
Twenty's the record!
Undercover just got a whole lot sexier.
Undercover just got a whole lot sexier.
Upstairs, upstairs. Let's go.
Upstairs, upstairs. Let's go.
Use your core!
Use your core!
Vodka soda.
Vodka soda.
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
Wait, wait. What are you doing? What are you doing?
Wait, wait. What are you doing? What are you doing?
Walk in and ask your captain to see the evidence room
Walk in and ask your captain to see the evidence room
Want to fight like a man?
Want to fight like a man?
Watch out for that cash machine!
Watch out for that cash machine!
Watch the door.
Watch the door.
We can't destroy any more stuff!
We can't destroy any more stuff!
We can't just walk into Zeta house and just put up a bunch of fucking cameras, okay?
We can't just walk into Zeta house and just put up a bunch of fucking cameras, okay?
We can't waste any more of the department's money!
We can't waste any more of the department's money!
We could go down there.
We could go down there.
We did have carte blanche. Not no more.
We did have carte blanche. Not no more.
We don't want to do the same thing.
We don't want to do the same thing.
We embedded?
We embedded?
We got to move right now.
We got to move right now.
We gotta go!
We gotta go!
We have a thing and it's good, and...
We have a thing and it's good, and...
We have hung out. He's completely ignored me.
We have hung out. He's completely ignored me.
We have identified and arrested one Dr Karl Murphy,
We have identified and arrested one Dr Karl Murphy,
We have to agree. You know what I mean?
We have to agree. You know what I mean?
We have to stop treating this like it's exactly the same as last time.
We have to stop treating this like it's exactly the same as last time.
We have to wait for Pudding!
We have to wait for Pudding!
We have way more guns than you. Drop your fucking guns.
We have way more guns than you. Drop your fucking guns.
We Jump Street, and we about to jump in yo' ass.
We Jump Street, and we about to jump in yo' ass.
We like to sit around, just drink some good wine
We like to sit around, just drink some good wine
We made a batch for the whole dorm, man.
We made a batch for the whole dorm, man.
We met at a poetry slam, and then he stalked me back to my dorm room.
We met at a poetry slam, and then he stalked me back to my dorm room.
We shoot dicks off here in Jump Street.
We shoot dicks off here in Jump Street.
We started off too old for this shit.
We started off too old for this shit.
We talked a lot, and we care about each other.
We talked a lot, and we care about each other.
We want it to be actual food so that it, like, makes sense with the game.
We want it to be actual food so that it, like, makes sense with the game.
We want to burst through our ceiling.
We want to burst through our ceiling.
We'll see what we can do.
We'll see what we can do.
We're actually just normal college age.
We're actually just normal college age.
We're at work right now, okay?
We're at work right now, okay?
We're brothers, too.
We're brothers, too.
We're definitely moving!
We're definitely moving!
We're exactly the same. It makes everything so much easier.
We're exactly the same. It makes everything so much easier.
We're getting too old for this shit.
We're getting too old for this shit.
We're going back to high school?
We're going back to high school?
We're going to catch the supplier.
We're going to catch the supplier.
We're gonna build a nationwide network.
We're gonna build a nationwide network.
We're gonna get all these kids at spring break hooked on WhyPhy.
We're gonna get all these kids at spring break hooked on WhyPhy.
We're gonna have to tear those anals up.
We're gonna have to tear those anals up.
We're gonna put cameras everywhere,
We're gonna put cameras everywhere,
We're here, as well.
We're here, as well.
We're like the Dynamic Duo, bro. We're like Batman and Robin.
We're like the Dynamic Duo, bro. We're like Batman and Robin.
We're not ahead of ourselves. We're right next to each other.
We're not ahead of ourselves. We're right next to each other.
We're really trying to figure something out, and we need to focus, okay?
We're really trying to figure something out, and we need to focus, okay?
We're talking missionary.
We're talking missionary.
We're talking when I'm on top and she's on her back.
We're talking when I'm on top and she's on her back.
We're the Yangs, man. Kenny Yang. What's up?
We're the Yangs, man. Kenny Yang. What's up?
We're trying to see that product.
We're trying to see that product.
We've doubled their budget.
We've doubled their budget.
We've met before.
We've met before.
Welcome back, dum dum.
Welcome back, dum dum.
Welcome to Zeta, pledges!
Welcome to Zeta, pledges!
Well, his number was literally on a sticker.
Well, his number was literally on a sticker.
Well, history happens...
Well, history happens...
Well, I guess it's him.
Well, I guess it's him.
Well, I heard WhyPhy's coming back in a big way.
Well, I heard WhyPhy's coming back in a big way.
Well, if you don't want to be alone tonight, we are gonna go hang out at the art building,
Well, if you don't want to be alone tonight, we are gonna go hang out at the art building,
Well, it's definitely harder to get drugs. I can personally tell you that.
Well, it's definitely harder to get drugs. I can personally tell you that.
Well, it's not exactly the same case, 'cause
Well, it's not exactly the same case, 'cause
Well, let's go find this guy's sticker.
Well, let's go find this guy's sticker.
Well, my parents are here, too.
Well, my parents are here, too.
Well, that's your lead, motherfucker! That's what you start with.
Well, that's your lead, motherfucker! That's what you start with.
Well, they gave us a picture, so we do have that.
Well, they gave us a picture, so we do have that.
Well, we need help. We need to consult an expert.
Well, we need help. We need to consult an expert.
Well, why don't you put your guns down, and let's fight like men?
Well, why don't you put your guns down, and let's fight like men?
What about school and football and your wonderful new life?
What about school and football and your wonderful new life?
What about you?
What about you?
What are we gonna do?
What are we gonna do?
What are you doing here?
What are you doing here?
What are you doing here?
What are you doing here?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
What are you doing? Don't leave me hanging.
What are you doing? Don't leave me hanging.
What are you guys doing here?
What are you guys doing here?
What are you talking about? I was fine. I had it.
What are you talking about? I was fine. I had it.
What are you talking about? Look around.
What are you talking about? Look around.
What are you talking about? What contract dispute?
What are you talking about? What contract dispute?
What can a black man do to get some water around here?
What can a black man do to get some water around here?
What did you say?
What did you say?
What do you think about that?
What do you think about that?
What do you think of this?
What do you think of this?
What do you want to be, like, a stockbroker? Or a cop?
What do you want to be, like, a stockbroker? Or a cop?
What has been the result of the War on Drugs?
What has been the result of the War on Drugs?
What I want to be able to have is this.
What I want to be able to have is this.
What if Captain gets to punch you in the face one time, really, really, really hard?
What if Captain gets to punch you in the face one time, really, really, really hard?
What if Cynthia was the dealer?
What if Cynthia was the dealer?
What if Cynthia wasn't the buyer?
What if Cynthia wasn't the buyer?
What if we actually went into the Secret Service
What if we actually went into the Secret Service
What is it? Guns? Drugs?
What is it? Guns? Drugs?
What is this? Jelly beans?
What is this? Jelly beans?
What is your problem? You said you wanted to stick together.
What is your problem? You said you wanted to stick together.
What it's like to have a guy like that telling you what to do all the time?
What it's like to have a guy like that telling you what to do all the time?
What the fuck am I taking it for, then?
What the fuck am I taking it for, then?
What the fuck are you doing? Get up here!
What the fuck are you doing? Get up here!
What the fuck is going on?
What the fuck is going on?
What the fuck is this?
What the fuck is this?
What the fuck y'all doing? Y'all rationing around here?
What the fuck y'all doing? Y'all rationing around here?
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
What the fuck? It's the same case!
What the fuck? It's the same case!
What the fuck? We've been looking for this tattoo for days!
What the fuck? We've been looking for this tattoo for days!
What the fuck's up with that guy?
What the fuck's up with that guy?
What the hell are we supposed to be buying?
What the hell are we supposed to be buying?
What the hell is going on?
What the hell is going on?
What up, fellas? We're your across the hall neighbours.
What up, fellas? We're your across the hall neighbours.
What was that?
What was that?
What you looking at?
What you looking at?
What, like when we were drunk or something?
What, like when we were drunk or something?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What? Are you kidding? It's Parents Weekend.
What? Are you kidding? It's Parents Weekend.
What? I don't get to drive the Lambo?
What? I don't get to drive the Lambo?
What? I thought we had Cate Blanchett.
What? I thought we had Cate Blanchett.
What? Shit.
What? Shit.
What? What are you gonna do?
What? What are you gonna do?
What? What do you want to do?
What? What do you want to do?
What? You can't be a cop and stay here and play football with Zook.
What? You can't be a cop and stay here and play football with Zook.
What...
What...
What's up with it?
What's up with it?
What's up, college?
What's up, college?
What's up, dude?
What's up, dude?
What's up, man?
What's up, man?
What's up, playa? Want to go to the movies?
What's up, playa? Want to go to the movies?
What's up, Rooster?
What's up, Rooster?
What's up? I'm Rooster.
What's up? I'm Rooster.
What's wrong with those classic drugs from the '90s?
What's wrong with those classic drugs from the '90s?
When I talk to your parents tonight, I will not tell them about your major.
When I talk to your parents tonight, I will not tell them about your major.
When the one girl was talking about her nips and shit.
When the one girl was talking about her nips and shit.
When we had professionals around.
When we had professionals around.
Where are you going?
Where are you going?
Where literally no one goes any more, man.
Where literally no one goes any more, man.
Where you're meeting your old friends in the park?
Where you're meeting your old friends in the park?
Where'd you find this gringo, man?
Where'd you find this gringo, man?
Where's your gun?
Where's your gun?
Which everyone sees through, by the way.
Which everyone sees through, by the way.
Which is what I thought we learned in high school.
Which is what I thought we learned in high school.
While other cops are getting in position to bust their shit in.
While other cops are getting in position to bust their shit in.
While, yang, by contrast, is fast and solid and...
While, yang, by contrast, is fast and solid and...
Who beats safety Will Glock like an egg white in my famous meringue recipe.
Who beats safety Will Glock like an egg white in my famous meringue recipe.
Who first?
Who first?
Who is that?
Who is that?
Who sold you WhyPhy?
Who sold you WhyPhy?
Who was found with WhyPhy residue throughout his office...
Who was found with WhyPhy residue throughout his office...
Who was that you choked out, man? He had it coming! Who was that?
Who was that you choked out, man? He had it coming! Who was that?
Who's this?
Who's this?
Why ain't he talking?
Why ain't he talking?
Why are you saying this stuff?
Why are you saying this stuff?
Why can't you just use your head for once?
Why can't you just use your head for once?
Why did you do that? We were about to catch the supplier. What's wrong with you?
Why did you do that? We were about to catch the supplier. What's wrong with you?
Why does my dad have your phone number?
Why does my dad have your phone number?
Why don't you hold hands?
Why don't you hold hands?
Why don't you sell those old classic drugs from the '90s, like cocaine, heroin and...
Why don't you sell those old classic drugs from the '90s, like cocaine, heroin and...
Why every time you speak I want to throw the fuck up?
Why every time you speak I want to throw the fuck up?
Why is it hard?
Why is it hard?
Why would you ask me? I'm not a cop.
Why would you ask me? I'm not a cop.
Why, man? Why am I always getting hurt around you?
Why, man? Why am I always getting hurt around you?
Will you please do something about how slow this thing's going?
Will you please do something about how slow this thing's going?
With Cynthia's roommate.
With Cynthia's roommate.
Without actually having to do it.
Without actually having to do it.
Wonderful. You're dating someone.
Wonderful. You're dating someone.
Work hard, play hard, am I right?
Work hard, play hard, am I right?
Worked for you last night.
Worked for you last night.
Wouldn't it be better
Wouldn't it be better
Y'all see this shit?
Y'all see this shit?
Yeah, 'cause you got crow's feet under your eyes, man. You specifically.
Yeah, 'cause you got crow's feet under your eyes, man. You specifically.
Yeah, balls deeper. Jinx. Buy me a Coke.
Yeah, balls deeper. Jinx. Buy me a Coke.
Yeah, buddy!
Yeah, buddy!
Yeah, fuck, look.
Yeah, fuck, look.
Yeah, I didn't know you had wheels like that, bro.
Yeah, I didn't know you had wheels like that, bro.
Yeah, I guess the kids just use the stacks to hide and have sex.
Yeah, I guess the kids just use the stacks to hide and have sex.
Yeah, I know. I meant both.
Yeah, I know. I meant both.
Yeah, I know. I said, "Something cool."
Yeah, I know. I said, "Something cool."
Yeah, I know. I tried to soil myself and, dude, I didn't like it.
Yeah, I know. I tried to soil myself and, dude, I didn't like it.
Yeah, I thought we had Cate Blanchett with the budget.
Yeah, I thought we had Cate Blanchett with the budget.
Yeah, I'm so sorry, this...
Yeah, I'm so sorry, this...
Yeah, I'm taking notes right now.
Yeah, I'm taking notes right now.
Yeah, man, Cynthia gave us a butt load,
Yeah, man, Cynthia gave us a butt load,
Yeah, man, he just got some new glasses, man. God damn.
Yeah, man, he just got some new glasses, man. God damn.
Yeah, man, sure. You, too, you can come, too.
Yeah, man, sure. You, too, you can come, too.
Yeah, man, that'd be sick.
Yeah, man, that'd be sick.
Yeah, man, those Krispie treats got mad WhyPhy in them.
Yeah, man, those Krispie treats got mad WhyPhy in them.
Yeah, no, we're your 9:00 a.m. That's us.
Yeah, no, we're your 9:00 a.m. That's us.
Yeah, no.
Yeah, no.
Yeah, she lived across the hall from me.
Yeah, she lived across the hall from me.
Yeah, that one's perfect. Okay, you can do that one.
Yeah, that one's perfect. Okay, you can do that one.
Yeah, that's right. And you motherfuckers are all under arrest.
Yeah, that's right. And you motherfuckers are all under arrest.
Yeah, that's what I meant.
Yeah, that's what I meant.
Yeah, we won't figure this out.
Yeah, we won't figure this out.
Yeah, what's up now, motherfuckers? You remember me?
Yeah, what's up now, motherfuckers? You remember me?
Yeah, why don't you guys just tie your dicks together
Yeah, why don't you guys just tie your dicks together
Yeah, yeah, I'll do another.
Yeah, yeah, I'll do another.
Yeah, yeah, it's Brad.
Yeah, yeah, it's Brad.
Yeah, you can help yourself to whatever you need, and...
Yeah, you can help yourself to whatever you need, and...
Yeah, you know...
Yeah, you know...
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. All by myself.
Yeah. All by myself.
Yeah. Good thing there was an even bigger abandoned church directly across the street.
Yeah. Good thing there was an even bigger abandoned church directly across the street.
Yeah. Hi.
Yeah. Hi.
Yeah. How the fuck do you know that?
Yeah. How the fuck do you know that?
Yeah. I mean, no. I mean, I'm glad you said something.
Yeah. I mean, no. I mean, I'm glad you said something.
Yeah. I mean, we're not into the whole frat party kind of stuff.
Yeah. I mean, we're not into the whole frat party kind of stuff.
Yeah. Just like we always do, Jenkins.
Yeah. Just like we always do, Jenkins.
Yeah. They call me OI' Plain Face.
Yeah. They call me OI' Plain Face.
Yeah. Well, the commissioner's convinced this debacle happened
Yeah. Well, the commissioner's convinced this debacle happened
Yeah. What's up now?
Yeah. What's up now?
Yep.
Yep.
Yes, directed at me.
Yes, directed at me.
Yes, thank you.
Yes, thank you.
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Yes! I am!
Yes! I am!
Yes.
Yes.
Yin is characterised as slow, soft, passive and is associated with water and femininity.
Yin is characterised as slow, soft, passive and is associated with water and femininity.
Yo, Brad! What's up, dude?
Yo, Brad! What's up, dude?
Yo, dude, you shot him in the dick, dude.
Yo, dude, you shot him in the dick, dude.
Yo, Sleepy! What's up, homie?
Yo, Sleepy! What's up, homie?
Yo, what is that? The tattoo, what's that right there?
Yo, what is that? The tattoo, what's that right there?
Yo, what the fuck did you just say?
Yo, what the fuck did you just say?
You actually high fived Schmidt for fucking your daughter.
You actually high fived Schmidt for fucking your daughter.
You ain't lying about that.
You ain't lying about that.
You all right?
You all right?
You are so clearly forcing Eric into this relationship.
You are so clearly forcing Eric into this relationship.
You are so old and weak!
You are so old and weak!
You are under arrest!
You are under arrest!
You are, like, a slightly less attractive version of...
You are, like, a slightly less attractive version of...
You begin a slow, painful unravelling, as all the good things that came before
You begin a slow, painful unravelling, as all the good things that came before
You bragged to him to his face. To his actual face. Captain...
You bragged to him to his face. To his actual face. Captain...
You can be whatever you want.
You can be whatever you want.
You can do this alone. I'll be back in two hours. You got this.
You can do this alone. I'll be back in two hours. You got this.
You can do whatever you want with your life, Mr McQuaid.
You can do whatever you want with your life, Mr McQuaid.
You can just bust right...
You can just bust right...
You can say whatever you want.
You can say whatever you want.
You can't admit that it looks exactly like testicles?
You can't admit that it looks exactly like testicles?
You come talk to her with me.
You come talk to her with me.
You could've gone in a parking lot, you went to the sculpture garden?
You could've gone in a parking lot, you went to the sculpture garden?
You did the first time.
You did the first time.
You do the dumbest possible thing.
You do the dumbest possible thing.
You don't drag me down, either, man.
You don't drag me down, either, man.
You don't hold me down, man. You lift me up.
You don't hold me down, man. You lift me up.
You don't think I know what I'm doing?
You don't think I know what I'm doing?
You fucked Captain Dickson's daughter?
You fucked Captain Dickson's daughter?
You fucked up me driving a Lamborghini, you dick!
You fucked up me driving a Lamborghini, you dick!
You go handle the Ghost. He's on the roof.
You go handle the Ghost. He's on the roof.
You gonna push me over with your walker?
You gonna push me over with your walker?
You got 99 problems, but being young isn't one.
You got 99 problems, but being young isn't one.
You got it, you got it. Come on, come on. Yeah!
You got it, you got it. Come on, come on. Yeah!
You got that expensive chase in the beginning,
You got that expensive chase in the beginning,
You got to decide, "Do I just keep doing the same thing,
You got to decide, "Do I just keep doing the same thing,
You got to interlock it, though.
You got to interlock it, though.
You got to let her drive you, bro.
You got to let her drive you, bro.
You got to tell them the real story, man.
You got to tell them the real story, man.
You gotta go in from underneath.
You gotta go in from underneath.
You gotta jump. You gotta jump, jump, jump!
You gotta jump. You gotta jump, jump, jump!
You guys are actually eating stuff in here?
You guys are actually eating stuff in here?
You guys got to get me the fuck out of here.
You guys got to get me the fuck out of here.
You guys look like the stars of a cop show called Hawaiian Dads.
You guys look like the stars of a cop show called Hawaiian Dads.
You guys might want to hold on, 'cause this shit is coming down.
You guys might want to hold on, 'cause this shit is coming down.
You had the fucking tracking device. I don't have it.
You had the fucking tracking device. I don't have it.
You have the right to remain silent.
You have the right to remain silent.
You just kind of want something that's just a little deeper really.
You just kind of want something that's just a little deeper really.
You keep trying!
You keep trying!
You know I'm always here for you, right?
You know I'm always here for you, right?
You know my cousin, Sad Boy.
You know my cousin, Sad Boy.
You know they gave me a vagina?
You know they gave me a vagina?
You know this is just a one time thing, right?
You know this is just a one time thing, right?
You know what happens in a shoot out.
You know what happens in a shoot out.
You know what, I may drag you down sometimes,
You know what, I may drag you down sometimes,
You know what? Let's just play the game, okay?
You know what? Let's just play the game, okay?
You know what? That's who he should be with, man.
You know what? That's who he should be with, man.
You know what's not lame?
You know what's not lame?
You know who's behind us in that car? That's one of the best drivers that we got.
You know who's behind us in that car? That's one of the best drivers that we got.
You know you can always tell me something if you want to get it off your chest.
You know you can always tell me something if you want to get it off your chest.
You know, I had this, like, vision of me throwing bullet TDs to you, dude,
You know, I had this, like, vision of me throwing bullet TDs to you, dude,
You know, like, what you're gonna do after you're out of here?
You know, like, what you're gonna do after you're out of here?
You look good, man.
You look good, man.
You looking for some WhyPhy?
You looking for some WhyPhy?
You love walk on day now?
You love walk on day now?
You made it, dude. Did you get Mercedes?
You made it, dude. Did you get Mercedes?
You managed to un fuck up the situation you originally fucked up.
You managed to un fuck up the situation you originally fucked up.
You mean "carte blanche."
You mean "carte blanche."
You need to let me go and drop all this.
You need to let me go and drop all this.
You Okay?
You Okay?
You owe me a car, and it'd better be a fucking Lamborghini, you bitch!
You owe me a car, and it'd better be a fucking Lamborghini, you bitch!
You probably haven't run that fast since you played stickball in the field
You probably haven't run that fast since you played stickball in the field
You racist, sacrilegious sack of shit.
You racist, sacrilegious sack of shit.
You really think I could make it at UMC?
You really think I could make it at UMC?
You saved my life!
You saved my life!
You scared me.
You scared me.
You settle into worn out roles. One gets possessive, the other runs away.
You settle into worn out roles. One gets possessive, the other runs away.
You shot me in the dick!
You shot me in the dick!
You should come over here. It's way better.
You should come over here. It's way better.
You should lose the puka shells, though.
You should lose the puka shells, though.
You should see if she knows who sold her drugs.
You should see if she knows who sold her drugs.
You shut the fuck up.
You shut the fuck up.
You sons of bitches is gonna be in a video game.
You sons of bitches is gonna be in a video game.
You sort of sound like that.
You sort of sound like that.
You think Cynthia was the dealer?
You think Cynthia was the dealer?
You think it's possible that
You think it's possible that
You think the Ghost could be the supplier's dad?
You think the Ghost could be the supplier's dad?
You took a bullet for me, man.
You took a bullet for me, man.
You took a bullet for me.
You took a bullet for me.
You two know each other?
You two know each other?
You two sons of bitches are going to college!
You two sons of bitches are going to college!
You two sons of bitches are going to culinary school.
You two sons of bitches are going to culinary school.
You two sons of bitches are going to medical school.
You two sons of bitches are going to medical school.
You want an open investigation?
You want an open investigation?
You want me to use my head? Fine.
You want me to use my head? Fine.
You want to check out the goods?
You want to check out the goods?
You were like a tiny little flower seed and I was clenching you in my fist.
You were like a tiny little flower seed and I was clenching you in my fist.
You were right, he's not the dealer.
You were right, he's not the dealer.
You weren't...
You weren't...
You would hit me and not feel bad about it.
You would hit me and not feel bad about it.
You... We were just in the neighbourhood, and...
You... We were just in the neighbourhood, and...
You'd think if somebody wants to show us their operation, they'd at least be on time.
You'd think if somebody wants to show us their operation, they'd at least be on time.
You'll always be alone.
You'll always be alone.
You're a fucking genius, dude.
You're a fucking genius, dude.
You're a fucking nerd.
You're a fucking nerd.
You're a lovely person.
You're a lovely person.
You're all fucking pussies!
You're all fucking pussies!
You're being weird.
You're being weird.
You're dead to all of us.
You're dead to all of us.
You're dragging me down! Why would you drag me down?
You're dragging me down! Why would you drag me down?
You're dragging me down. You're really heavy.
You're dragging me down. You're really heavy.
You're fucking Mr and Mrs Smith ing me.
You're fucking Mr and Mrs Smith ing me.
You're gonna be in, like, the anals of football history.
You're gonna be in, like, the anals of football history.
You're gonna have an awesome time, and it's gonna suck for me.
You're gonna have an awesome time, and it's gonna suck for me.
You're gonna have to take 'em.
You're gonna have to take 'em.
You're hilarious, dude. What's your name?
You're hilarious, dude. What's your name?
You're interrupting a really stellar blow job.
You're interrupting a really stellar blow job.
You're Jump Street, right?
You're Jump Street, right?
You're just jealous because Maya and I have a real connection.
You're just jealous because Maya and I have a real connection.
You're literally wearing your badge.
You're literally wearing your badge.
You're making a face that is sexy!
You're making a face that is sexy!
You're making this so uncomfortable.
You're making this so uncomfortable.
You're more messed up than Cynthia was,
You're more messed up than Cynthia was,
You're not gonna die. Just get the fuck up here!
You're not gonna die. Just get the fuck up here!
You're not gonna have trouble focusing, man.
You're not gonna have trouble focusing, man.
You're not supposed to throw rocks.
You're not supposed to throw rocks.
You're really close with your brother, then.
You're really close with your brother, then.
You're so violent!
You're so violent!
You're the smart person. You do the tracking device shit.
You're the smart person. You do the tracking device shit.
You're under arrest, sir.
You're under arrest, sir.
You're, like, the loudest climaxer I've ever heard.
You're, like, the loudest climaxer I've ever heard.
You've been weird.
You've been weird.
Your arm all right? You want to take that sleeve off?
Your arm all right? You want to take that sleeve off?
Your ass look like you about 50.
Your ass look like you about 50.
Your fucking guy's got a tattoo.
Your fucking guy's got a tattoo.
Your mama done found a table she want.
Your mama done found a table she want.
Your vagina doesn't fucking work, man.
Your vagina doesn't fucking work, man.
Yours isn't loaded, right?
Yours isn't loaded, right?
Zook and McQuaid!
Zook and McQuaid!
Zook has the tattoo?
Zook has the tattoo?
Zook has the tattoo. He knew Cynthia.
Zook has the tattoo. He knew Cynthia.
22 Jump Street is the lick.
22 Jump Street is the lick.
"Believes her life is in danger." Door, door.
"Believes her life is in danger." Door, door.
"Our thing"? Yeah.
"Our thing"? Yeah.
"What am I hearing right now?" And the psychic told you that?
"What am I hearing right now?" And the psychic told you that?
Absolutely not. No, right?
Absolutely not. No, right?
All night, bro. Come on. All night. Yeah, I know.
All night, bro. Come on. All night. Yeah, I know.
All right, you good? Yeah!
All right, you good? Yeah!
All right? All right? Yeah. Yeah.
All right? All right? Yeah. Yeah.
All right. All right, man, we'll see you guys later.
All right. All right, man, we'll see you guys later.
All right. We're gonna fucking tear it up.
All right. We're gonna fucking tear it up.
All right. Okay. That's the last of 'em.
All right. Okay. That's the last of 'em.
All right. That's a lot of fucking. Oh, my God.
All right. That's a lot of fucking. Oh, my God.
All you got to do is walk now, okay? Okay.
All you got to do is walk now, okay? Okay.
Are they even still chasing us? Yes, they're still chasing us!
Are they even still chasing us? Yes, they're still chasing us!
Are we gonna fuck? No, we're not!
Are we gonna fuck? No, we're not!
Are you embarrassed of your partner? No, not at all. Okay?
Are you embarrassed of your partner? No, not at all. Okay?
Are you sure it's not too much, though? No!
Are you sure it's not too much, though? No!
Are you sure? All right... Yeah.
Are you sure? All right... Yeah.
Awesome. Yes!
Awesome. Yes!
Boys. Yo, Jenko.
Boys. Yo, Jenko.
Brad. Wait... Brad.
Brad. Wait... Brad.
Bro? Bro.
Bro? Bro.
Bull's eye. Bingo.
Bull's eye. Bingo.
But I want... Who gives a shit about the Lambo? Just go!
But I want... Who gives a shit about the Lambo? Just go!
Can I trust you? Yeah, of course.
Can I trust you? Yeah, of course.
Can you give me a head start on... I need absolute... I need absolute silence.
Can you give me a head start on... I need absolute... I need absolute silence.
Can you please... Absolute silence.
Can you please... Absolute silence.
Come on! Do it!
Come on! Do it!
Come on! Hey.
Come on! Hey.
Come on. I will give you some daps, Schmidt.
Come on. I will give you some daps, Schmidt.
Cool. Dope.
Cool. Dope.
Did you lock the door? I did, man. I checked twice.
Did you lock the door? I did, man. I checked twice.
Did you not see that I was going first? Excuse you.
Did you not see that I was going first? Excuse you.
Do we have company? Yeah!
Do we have company? Yeah!
Do you have anything to say? Please don't kill us.
Do you have anything to say? Please don't kill us.
Do you need money for a cab or anything? No, I don't need money for a cab.
Do you need money for a cab or anything? No, I don't need money for a cab.
Do you realise how cool... Wait, one sec, one sec.
Do you realise how cool... Wait, one sec, one sec.
Do you see? Reach out your hand.
Do you see? Reach out your hand.
Doesn't even hurt! Okay...
Doesn't even hurt! Okay...
Don't move. Fuck. All right.
Don't move. Fuck. All right.
Don't take the shot. I'm taking the shot.
Don't take the shot. I'm taking the shot.
Doug McQuaid. No!
Doug McQuaid. No!
Doug? Doug! Maya!
Doug? Doug! Maya!
Drop your guns. Drop yours first.
Drop your guns. Drop yours first.
Dude, I am so sorry. It's all right, man. Don't worry about it, man.
Dude, I am so sorry. It's all right, man. Don't worry about it, man.
Dude, I miss you so much, man. I miss you, too.
Dude, I miss you so much, man. I miss you, too.
Dude, stop. Stupid fucking goalpost!
Dude, stop. Stupid fucking goalpost!
Dude, the brakes are out. What?
Dude, the brakes are out. What?
Dude, you don't have to do this. What?
Dude, you don't have to do this. What?
Dude! It's gross!
Dude! It's gross!
Dude. Bro.
Dude. Bro.
Dude. Dude.
Dude. Dude.
Every time he say that shit... Oh, my fuck!
Every time he say that shit... Oh, my fuck!
Excuse you. You want to go first?
Excuse you. You want to go first?
Fine. We might as well just be friends
Fine. We might as well just be friends
Freeze, bitch. Thank God.
Freeze, bitch. Thank God.
Fuck yeah, dude. Fuck yeah, dude.
Fuck yeah, dude. Fuck yeah, dude.
Fuck you, Schmidt. Stop clicking around.
Fuck you, Schmidt. Stop clicking around.
Fuck! Fuck! Shit!
Fuck! Fuck! Shit!
Fucking get up here. Come on. Fuck!
Fucking get up here. Come on. Fuck!
Give me another. I don't have any more cameras.
Give me another. I don't have any more cameras.
Give me some motherfucking daps, man! Come on, give me some.
Give me some motherfucking daps, man! Come on, give me some.
Give me some. Come on!
Give me some. Come on!
Go fuck yourself! You go fuck yourself.
Go fuck yourself! You go fuck yourself.
Go! Go, go. Go!
Go! Go, go. Go!
Great catch. Cool, yeah.
Great catch. Cool, yeah.
Great. Yeah, maybe we will.
Great. Yeah, maybe we will.
He looks like a 30 year old eighth grader. He's gonna be fine.
He looks like a 30 year old eighth grader. He's gonna be fine.
He won't hold my hand. I'm not doing it.
He won't hold my hand. I'm not doing it.
He won't hold my hand. You...
He won't hold my hand. You...
Here, take this. Okay.
Here, take this. Okay.
Hey, Cap. Congratulations, you two.
Hey, Cap. Congratulations, you two.
Hey, dude, you want to go see the roof? Fuck yeah, I want to see the roof, dude.
Hey, dude, you want to go see the roof? Fuck yeah, I want to see the roof, dude.
Hey, hey. Shit.
Hey, hey. Shit.
Hey, Jenko. What?
Hey, Jenko. What?
Hey, there's two of you. You're twins.
Hey, there's two of you. You're twins.
Hey! Look at you!
Hey! Look at you!
Hey. Hey.
Hey. Hey.
Hey. Hey.
Hey. Hey.
Hey. Hi.
Hey. Hi.
Hey. Hi.
Hey. Hi.
Hey. How you doing?
Hey. How you doing?
Hey. You're late.
Hey. You're late.
Hey. Check that out. You shush.
Hey. Check that out. You shush.
Hi. Hey. David.
Hi. Hey. David.
How about this? You want a little fun? What is that?
How about this? You want a little fun? What is that?
How about we take it at the same time? No one take a shot.
How about we take it at the same time? No one take a shot.
How are we doing tonight, sir? Good, thanks.
How are we doing tonight, sir? Good, thanks.
How you doing, man? Digging the puka.
How you doing, man? Digging the puka.
How you doing? Hi. Good.
How you doing? Hi. Good.
I didn't do that. Yeah, I used his and he used mine.
I didn't do that. Yeah, I used his and he used mine.
I do miss the days... Shit.
I do miss the days... Shit.
I don't even like you! Neither do I, so stop kissing me!
I don't even like you! Neither do I, so stop kissing me!
I don't know. It's just peaceful. I just like it. Yeah.
I don't know. It's just peaceful. I just like it. Yeah.
I don't think he's the guy, either. Yeah?
I don't think he's the guy, either. Yeah?
I don't want to improvise. I'm gonna need you to improvise.
I don't want to improvise. I'm gonna need you to improvise.
I don't want you to hit the bone. ...two,
I don't want you to hit the bone. ...two,
I got a bad feeling about this guy, dude. Why? Why?
I got a bad feeling about this guy, dude. Why? Why?
I got him in the dick. Yep.
I got him in the dick. Yep.
I got it, I got it. Let's just...
I got it, I got it. Let's just...
I got somebody. What?
I got somebody. What?
I got you! Shit! Schmidt!
I got you! Shit! Schmidt!
I just don't want you to get hurt. I'm not gonna get...
I just don't want you to get hurt. I'm not gonna get...
I love you. Me, too, man. I love you, man.
I love you. Me, too, man. I love you, man.
I think... I don't think that would work.
I think... I don't think that would work.
I tried to take a bullet for you, man. But you didn't.
I tried to take a bullet for you, man. But you didn't.
I... I mean, do you really do poetry?
I... I mean, do you really do poetry?
I'll get it. No, no, let me get it, let me get it.
I'll get it. No, no, let me get it, let me get it.
I'll shoot both of you. Darling.
I'll shoot both of you. Darling.
I'll take the fucking shot. Nobody take the shot before me.
I'll take the fucking shot. Nobody take the shot before me.
I'm all out. You stupid moron!
I'm all out. You stupid moron!
I'm gonna take the shot. Don't take the shot.
I'm gonna take the shot. Don't take the shot.
I'm not doing it. What are... No!
I'm not doing it. What are... No!
I'm not gonna fight a girl, so just stop! It shouldn't matter.
I'm not gonna fight a girl, so just stop! It shouldn't matter.
I'm on it. I got it.
I'm on it. I got it.
I'm so focused. Let's do this.
I'm so focused. Let's do this.
I'm so jammed! Fuck you!
I'm so jammed! Fuck you!
I'm thinking about a shark tank over there. I like sharks.
I'm thinking about a shark tank over there. I like sharks.
I'm Zook. Nice to meet you. Zook.
I'm Zook. Nice to meet you. Zook.
Is that it? That's my dick.
Is that it? That's my dick.
Is that it? You're tickling me.
Is that it? You're tickling me.
Is that what's happening? No! I'm not gonna fuck you, ever!
Is that what's happening? No! I'm not gonna fuck you, ever!
Is there blood in my eye? Oh, my God. Are you all right?
Is there blood in my eye? Oh, my God. Are you all right?
It can't cut glass. What?
It can't cut glass. What?
It seems like. Yeah.
It seems like. Yeah.
It was "Something cool." No, but what'd you say?
It was "Something cool." No, but what'd you say?
It's fun. It's fun for you. It's not fun for me.
It's fun. It's fun for you. It's not fun for me.
It's Jenko. Sorry.
It's Jenko. Sorry.
It's me! It's me! Shit.
It's me! It's me! Shit.
Jenko, what are you doing? Fuck you.
Jenko, what are you doing? Fuck you.
Just break right through it. Right through it.
Just break right through it. Right through it.
Just get it over with, all right? Don't move.
Just get it over with, all right? Don't move.
Just go up there. All right, okay.
Just go up there. All right, okay.
Just touch it. I'm scared.
Just touch it. I'm scared.
Just touch it. Seriously. All right, all right, all right.
Just touch it. Seriously. All right, all right, all right.
Let go of the fucking keys! I can't let 'em go.
Let go of the fucking keys! I can't let 'em go.
Let's blow shit up. Jump Street style.
Let's blow shit up. Jump Street style.
Let's do something that would distract us. Okay.
Let's do something that would distract us. Okay.
Library. Book place.
Library. Book place.
Like together? We don't have to put a label on it.
Like together? We don't have to put a label on it.
Like Wesley Snipes black. Exactly.
Like Wesley Snipes black. Exactly.
Look at the facts. Matter of fact, I...
Look at the facts. Matter of fact, I...
Looks pretty old to be a freshman. It's the hormones in the milk, Bob.
Looks pretty old to be a freshman. It's the hormones in the milk, Bob.
Mad fuckable. Especially during spring break.
Mad fuckable. Especially during spring break.
Mainly by myself. Okay.
Mainly by myself. Okay.
Mercedes? You're coming with me.
Mercedes? You're coming with me.
My dad. Nice to meet you.
My dad. Nice to meet you.
My plan is stupid? That's interesting. What... Okay.
My plan is stupid? That's interesting. What... Okay.
Nice to meet you. Worst thing to say.
Nice to meet you. Worst thing to say.
No way. Yeah.
No way. Yeah.
No, I can't. I cannot. ...you're never gonna make any money.
No, I can't. I cannot. ...you're never gonna make any money.
No, I got it. Let me just get it. No, let me get it.
No, I got it. Let me just get it. No, let me get it.
No, no, no, no! No, no, no.
No, no, no, no! No, no, no.
No, you got to. I can't do this any more!
No, you got to. I can't do this any more!
No! No! What?
No! No! What?
No. I mean, you're cool with just hooking up?
No. I mean, you're cool with just hooking up?
No. He's not kidding. He's serious. Really?
No. He's not kidding. He's serious. Really?
Nothing. All right, ready?
Nothing. All right, ready?
Now who's the damsel in distress? Fuck!
Now who's the damsel in distress? Fuck!
Now, Maya! What?
Now, Maya! What?
Now. Dad, what do I do?
Now. Dad, what do I do?
Of course. Yeah, I am.
Of course. Yeah, I am.
Oh, my God, are you all right? Shit!
Oh, my God, are you all right? Shit!
Okay, I got it, I got it. That's fine.
Okay, I got it, I got it. That's fine.
Okay, okay. He's clingy.
Okay, okay. He's clingy.
Okay, thank you. You're welcome.
Okay, thank you. You're welcome.
OKay? OKay.
OKay? OKay.
Okay. Best night ever.
Okay. Best night ever.
Okay. Bring it!
Okay. Bring it!
Okay. I...
Okay. I...
Okay. I'm not doing that.
Okay. I'm not doing that.
Okay. No pressure.
Okay. No pressure.
Okay. You're so selfish.
Okay. You're so selfish.
On your fucking knees! Get on your knees!
On your fucking knees! Get on your knees!
One, two... Okay. Yep. Good session.
One, two... Okay. Yep. Good session.
One... Just graze my arm.
One... Just graze my arm.
Pirates! Baby feet! Paper clips! Bananas!
Pirates! Baby feet! Paper clips! Bananas!
Please stay! I'm flying.
Please stay! I'm flying.
Policía! Policía! Fuck off.
Policía! Policía! Fuck off.
Put your guns down! Fucking guns down!
Put your guns down! Fucking guns down!
Quicksand! Shoes!
Quicksand! Shoes!
Really? Yeah, yeah.
Really? Yeah, yeah.
Right? No.
Right? No.
Right? I've been told that before. You read my mind.
Right? I've been told that before. You read my mind.
Same puka, dude. You got the same... Puka bros.
Same puka, dude. You got the same... Puka bros.
Schmidt, run! Get him!
Schmidt, run! Get him!
Schmidt! What the fuck, man?
Schmidt! What the fuck, man?
See you then. So you won't address that?
See you then. So you won't address that?
Shit! Watch out, watch out!
Shit! Watch out, watch out!
Shit! That's the Ghost. The Ghost?
Shit! That's the Ghost. The Ghost?
Shit. I got it.
Shit. I got it.
Shit. We got to get out of here.
Shit. We got to get out of here.
Shit. What?
Shit. What?
Sir, you don't... We caught the guy.
Sir, you don't... We caught the guy.
Stalked her? That's so beautiful.
Stalked her? That's so beautiful.
Stay here! No, no, stop it.
Stay here! No, no, stop it.
Stop! I'll shoot you in the ass! Dad!
Stop! I'll shoot you in the ass! Dad!
Sun! Anger! I don't know! Words!
Sun! Anger! I don't know! Words!
Tampon! Okay, but we want...
Tampon! Okay, but we want...
Thank you. No problem.
Thank you. No problem.
That's a gun. Yeah.
That's a gun. Yeah.
That's a little better, motherfucker! Come on! Come on!
That's a little better, motherfucker! Come on! Come on!
That's cool. You're the guy with the terrible suggestions.
That's cool. You're the guy with the terrible suggestions.
That's dope, dude. That's so sick.
That's dope, dude. That's so sick.
That's fine. All right. Eric's seen it.
That's fine. All right. Eric's seen it.
That's hip hop, man. Awesome.
That's hip hop, man. Awesome.
That's how we'll do it. That's how we'll do it.
That's how we'll do it. That's how we'll do it.
That's just unsanitary. Feels right.
That's just unsanitary. Feels right.
The fuck? I...
The fuck? I...
Then don't take the shot! Maybe I want to take a dirty shot.
Then don't take the shot! Maybe I want to take a dirty shot.
Then get up here! I can't do that!
Then get up here! I can't do that!
Then you're gonna be real focused. Be real focused.
Then you're gonna be real focused. Be real focused.
They have eight tentacles. Yes, and...
They have eight tentacles. Yes, and...
This is crazy! You made the leap, man!
This is crazy! You made the leap, man!
Thrusting and pumping. Okay.
Thrusting and pumping. Okay.
Wake up! Get out of the car! Shit.
Wake up! Get out of the car! Shit.
We did it! Dude, fuck, I'm...
We did it! Dude, fuck, I'm...
We didn't. Nah.
We didn't. Nah.
We embedded each other? Okay. I'm gonna recommend...
We embedded each other? Okay. I'm gonna recommend...
We need results! No, no, no.
We need results! No, no, no.
Welcome to college. Fuck, yeah.
Welcome to college. Fuck, yeah.
What about that? That's my dick also.
What about that? That's my dick also.
What are you trying to say? No, nothing.
What are you trying to say? No, nothing.
What do we want to be in college for? You're right.
What do we want to be in college for? You're right.
What happened? I think they got away.
What happened? I think they got away.
What was that? I don't know! I think we're moving.
What was that? I don't know! I think we're moving.
What were you doing? What am I doing?
What were you doing? What am I doing?
What? Do you have guns?
What? Do you have guns?
What? I know exactly what I'm doing here.
What? I know exactly what I'm doing here.
What? Like, one of y'all older?
What? Like, one of y'all older?
What? You're not supposed to throw rocks.
What? You're not supposed to throw rocks.
What? Bros, man. Dude.
What? Bros, man. Dude.
What? What do we do? We need to split up.
What? What do we do? We need to split up.
What? What the fuck are you doing? Be quiet.
What? What the fuck are you doing? Be quiet.
What'd you say embedding was? Embedding?
What'd you say embedding was? Embedding?
What's going on here? Shit!
What's going on here? Shit!
What's going on? What's going on?
What's going on? What's going on?
What's happening! What the fuck?
What's happening! What the fuck?
What's he doing here? ...when people did normal drugs.
What's he doing here? ...when people did normal drugs.
What's up, bro? We're 322.
What's up, bro? We're 322.
What's up, Eric? Hey.
What's up, Eric? Hey.
What's up'? 'Sup'?
What's up'? 'Sup'?
Where are you going? I'm just gonna go up for a little while, okay?
Where are you going? I'm just gonna go up for a little while, okay?
Where the hell have you been? Looking for you.
Where the hell have you been? Looking for you.
Which way? Which way? Which way? Whichever Way's cheaper!
Which way? Which way? Which way? Whichever Way's cheaper!
Why? Camouflage.
Why? Camouflage.
Why? I don't know.
Why? I don't know.
Why'd you do that? 'Cause you did it!
Why'd you do that? 'Cause you did it!
Why'd you try to kiss me? I didn't fucking try and kiss you!
Why'd you try to kiss me? I didn't fucking try and kiss you!
Yeah, Dad's Chinese, man. Our mom's not Chinese. She's black.
Yeah, Dad's Chinese, man. Our mom's not Chinese. She's black.
Yeah, everybody knows. Really?
Yeah, everybody knows. Really?
Yeah, I can do it. Are you sure?
Yeah, I can do it. Are you sure?
Yeah, it's just like last time. Exactly like last time.
Yeah, it's just like last time. Exactly like last time.
Yeah, right. I enjoyed it.
Yeah, right. I enjoyed it.
Yeah, yeah. You're welcome, man. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. You're welcome, man. Yeah.
Yeah! Fuck, yeah!
Yeah! Fuck, yeah!
Yeah! Okay.
Yeah! Okay.
Yeah! One more!
Yeah! One more!
Yeah? So why do you care so much?
Yeah? So why do you care so much?
Yeah? Sure.
Yeah? Sure.
Yeah. Yeah, this is my bro.
Yeah. Yeah, this is my bro.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. That's convenient. Yes, it is convenient.
Yeah. That's convenient. Yes, it is convenient.
Yeah. Why not? Yes!
Yeah. Why not? Yes!
Yes, you did. You're so weird!
Yes, you did. You're so weird!
Yes! No, I got it in my mouth.
Yes! No, I got it in my mouth.
Yes. See?
Yes. See?
Yo, what the fuck, bro? Yo, what the fuck are you doing, dude?
Yo, what the fuck, bro? Yo, what the fuck are you doing, dude?
Yo. That is so crazy, dude.
Yo. That is so crazy, dude.
You already know, don't you? What?
You already know, don't you? What?
You can do this, you can do this. I can't. This is disgusting.
You can do this, you can do this. I can't. This is disgusting.
You did it! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
You did it! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
You die... I don't want to die.
You die... I don't want to die.
You don't have to be on top of me. Yes, I do.
You don't have to be on top of me. Yes, I do.
You don't need to drill so many holes. Yeah, okay.
You don't need to drill so many holes. Yeah, okay.
You feel anything? No. Do you feel anything?
You feel anything? No. Do you feel anything?
You gave me "kiss me" eyes. No, I didn't.
You gave me "kiss me" eyes. No, I didn't.
You guys are the improv guys, right? Yeah.
You guys are the improv guys, right? Yeah.
You in the zone, bro? In the fucking zone, dude.
You in the zone, bro? In the fucking zone, dude.
You just did it again! Stop it! Stop!
You just did it again! Stop it! Stop!
You know what I mean? Totally.
You know what I mean? Totally.
You ready? Yeah.
You ready? Yeah.
You serious right now? You...
You serious right now? You...
You shot me in my foot! Wait! Move! Move faster now!
You shot me in my foot! Wait! Move! Move faster now!
You want to do Rock Paper Scissors? Rock Paper Scissors?
You want to do Rock Paper Scissors? Rock Paper Scissors?
You want to go first? I don't want to die.
You want to go first? I don't want to die.
You'll see, it's good. Yeah!
You'll see, it's good. Yeah!
You're fine. You're gonna be all right, man.
You're fine. You're gonna be all right, man.
You're going to MC State. We're going to college for real?
You're going to MC State. We're going to college for real?
You're good at this, huh? Yeah.
You're good at this, huh? Yeah.
You're really good at this. Yeah.
You're really good at this. Yeah.
You're the one fucking talking. You're being so fucking loud.
You're the one fucking talking. You're being so fucking loud.
Zook's such a chill guy. Just like ice.
Zook's such a chill guy. Just like ice.
...67...
...67...
...a slam poem in her honour.
...a slam poem in her honour.
...and had a close personal relationship with the deceased.
...and had a close personal relationship with the deceased.
...that's another foot in your ass.
...that's another foot in your ass.
'Cause I don't even know if I like you when I'm sober.
'Cause I don't even know if I like you when I'm sober.
'cause I feel so awkward.
'cause I feel so awkward.
'Cause we have guns.
'Cause we have guns.
'cause you're a fucking narc.
'cause you're a fucking narc.
'Cause, I mean, he kind of really just asked me.
'Cause, I mean, he kind of really just asked me.
"Amanda Bynes
"Amanda Bynes
"Angry!
"Angry!
"Bills! A sign of the times that rhymes
"Bills! A sign of the times that rhymes
"Circle jerkus..."
"Circle jerkus..."
"Cynthia
"Cynthia
"Cynthia
"Cynthia
"Cynthia!
"Cynthia!
"Cynthia!
"Cynthia!
"Drop that Raggedy Andy circus
"Drop that Raggedy Andy circus
"Fieto," not a word, but I'm gonna accept it.
"Fieto," not a word, but I'm gonna accept it.
"First impressions are important."
"First impressions are important."
"Gay" is okay. "Homosexual," maybe.
"Gay" is okay. "Homosexual," maybe.
"Greedy man hands!"
"Greedy man hands!"
"Hurts
"Hurts
"I'm Schmidt. My pants are filled with doody."
"I'm Schmidt. My pants are filled with doody."
"Jesus cried
"Jesus cried
"Jesus died for our Sin thee uhs
"Jesus died for our Sin thee uhs
"Julia Rob
"Julia Rob
"Julia Roberts!
"Julia Roberts!
"My brown nipple will produce white milk during lactation..."
"My brown nipple will produce white milk during lactation..."
"or am I gonna choose a different path and question my convictions?"
"or am I gonna choose a different path and question my convictions?"
"Patient exhibits drug induced paranoia.
"Patient exhibits drug induced paranoia.
"Pills! Pills! Bills! Pills!
"Pills! Pills! Bills! Pills!
"Runaway bride
"Runaway bride
"Sell shit out of it." Do you see that?
"Sell shit out of it." Do you see that?
"Shot him in the dick."
"Shot him in the dick."
"Slam poetry!
"Slam poetry!
"Specific point of view on things
"Specific point of view on things
"That doesn't sound anything like me."
"That doesn't sound anything like me."
"Wait, Professor Jacobs, doesn't history happen a long time ago?"
"Wait, Professor Jacobs, doesn't history happen a long time ago?"
"Waving my hands a lot!
"Waving my hands a lot!
"We don't know who it is.
"We don't know who it is.
"Wipey"?
"Wipey"?
"Yelling!
"Yelling!
"You're dead You are dead
"You're dead You are dead
"You're dead"
"You're dead"
"Zook! McQuaid! Zook! McQuaid!"
"Zook! McQuaid! Zook! McQuaid!"

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