Never Have I Ever - Season 3 Edit

A 16 year old girl from the San Fernando Valley…

A couple that shoots guns together has funs together

A future where she would finally fit in.

A job in the mines?

A lot of laughter and open body language over here.

A lot of the study groups for the college level courses

A lot.

A plus.

A protein bar. Sorry, I didn't get a chance to eat before I got here.

A scarf d****d over my lamp.

A team of paralegals and a fancy looking omniscient computer.

A Whistlesclusive!

A year in solitary?

A zero? No, but if I get a zero on this essay,

About the Parmesan.

Access to constant kissing is like nature's Botox.

According to Nobel scientists,

Actually really earned the right to speak, our valedictorian Brenda Kang.

Actually, I just remembered I have a huge paper due on Monday.

Actually, Phoebe loves Emrata.

Actually, she kind of has this new guy now,

Addison, don't play.

Addison, we're heading out.

After a bad breakup.

After that, I just hit rock bottom,

After we did karaoke together a few weeks ago.

Ah, that stinks and I hated that,

Ah! My boyfriend.

Ah! Okay. This one's easy.

Ah. I think you're gonna be very excited about our next speaker

Ah. Look, Trent.

Ah. Okay. I see.

Ah…

Ah…

Aka your house, aka the place where everyone hates me already.

Alejandro, let's not spoil tonight

All but one person in the stands was cheering for Aneesa,

All day. Like ultra phlegmy.

All I did was ask him how the dating apps are treating him.

All I have to do to attract them is just pull up my hoodie

All I wanted to say is I know we haven't talked in a while,

All I'm saying is maybe you've outgrown that dream.

All it did was prove that this man has no respect for how things are done.

All right, another fun group project this week.

All right, art tutor. I'm here.

All right, babe. Lights, camera, cell phone.

All right, come on.

All right, cool it, WikiFeet.

All right, cool. Let's go!

All right, crunch time.

All right, David. You picked out your victim yet?

All right, everyone, I hope you all had a chance to finish Ficciones last night.

All right, guys, I'll compile our work together

All right, history it is. And you know what?

All right, I guess I was kind of a dick back then,

All right, I guess now we just have to see what ASU said.

All right, I should go. Good night, Ben.

All right, it's hard to argue with that fantasy.

All right, McEnroe, get back in here.

All right, so what do you think?

All right, well, it sounds like your mom just wants you to visit the school, Devi.

All right.

All right. Guess I was wrong.

All right. I think we're exactly in his eyeline.

All right. I… I don't know.

All right. I'll see you around, heartbreaker.

All right. If we're gonna do this, we're doing this my way.

All right. My room is ready for action.

All right. Well, I gotta grab some things before class, but I'll see you later.

All right. Well, I guess I'll have to manufacture

All right. What if you just asked her on a date?

All right. You can get out of your lease. But I'm keeping the deposit.

All sales are final.

All she had to do now was lean back

All that matters is that I'm back to being a person who bangs.

All those burning candles I left unattended.

All we can do is just panic French when they're not looking.

Alrighty, class of 2022.

Also, did you notice the labyrinth motif kept coming up?

Also, I have this tiny burning rash going up my arm,

Also, it's for charity.

Also, there was this.

Also, this little bit was supposed to show the passing of time,

Although I know she's going to go on and on about her granddaughter's wedding

Although mostly in the form of apologies.

Although, I don't know how we'll whittle down the guest list to that.

Although, I would like you to learn something more about your culture.

Although, I'd rather you not entangle my academic pursuits

Although, using Lady Whistleboy's extensive

Although, we've always had a nice vibe,

Always a pleasure dealing with teen boys.

Am I dating a future true crime star?

Am I supposed to endure this until Devi gets to college?

Amazing job, babe. You looked like you could have subbed in at any moment.

Amazing. I think they awoke something in me.

And about to get physical.

And actually I don't consider myself in the medical field.

And after several long, pretty hard to watch months,

And all you can do is feel your feelings and just move through it.

And also lit because of the lights on the robots.

And also you've been really weird since Haley and I became friends again,

And also, I should check on

And an annoying voice.

And are ready to respect what I do.

And as her father proved, there are no guarantees in this life.

And as long as you act like respectable young people from good families,

And aside from this nonsense,

And at any moment, he's gonna be like,

And become popular,

And believe I saw your cousin sneak into your teacher's crappy little Honda.

And cared about learning something.

And commune with crystals or whatever.

And could be Lara Croft for Halloween. How am I supposed to compete with that?

And could now smile at Paxton without bursting into tears.

And Des has just always been so easy.

And Devi was feeling good.

And do you have any hobbies?

And don't ever let a label define you.

And even though she was staying in Sherman Oaks for senior year,

And everyone sneaks off into the classrooms to make out.

And experiencing less frequent waves of grief.

And for the first time since probably preschool,

And for your information, I am very happily married,

And frankly, this energy is very unsexy to me, and I'm walking away now.

And guess who got it tonight? Your boy!

And have my friends over whenever you're at work.

And he actually studied a sea slug colony.

And he called you "killer."

And he loved you so much too.

And he should've said something before I lived on a boat with her for 3 months.

And he wasn't handling it well.

And he would want us to be together.

And he's a real psycho, so…

And he's also my boyfriend.

And he's staying with me tonight,

And here she is doing Pilates. Probably without even queefing.

And his mansion's pervy Christmas display

And his pangs of jealousy were turning to pity

And honestly, if there were, you would not get it.

And honestly, she owes me an apology for trashing me to my girlfriend.

And honestly, things came really easily for me

And I can't be one of those dusty old nuns who doesn't lose it until college.

And I can't believe you used my mom's stripper pole.

And I come from a long line of people who never get any questions wrong.

And I deployed my incredible acting skills to manipulate you.

And I didn't even notice his stuff got tossed onto an old junk box.

And I disappoint myself, and my family, and, you know, my dad.

And I don't see a grown up.

And I don't want to end things with him. So perhaps the best way forward

And I don't want to make our friend group weird… [inhales]

And I don't want to mess up her future because of one stupid mistake.

And I got eyes everywhere.

And I had to make what little we did have stretch a long way.

And I have all of my teachers wrapped around my finger. Right, Mr. K?

And I just want to say to all you stupid bitches who doubted me,

And I know for a fact, you, Devi, are locked into a very particular dream.

And I know how much that means to you.

And I really love you.

And I really, really liked him.

And I think I just have to do what he wants.

And I thought we were a team.

And I want something that's easy, and fun, and doesn't make my brain hurt.

And I want you to hear it.

And I want you to take Rhyah's son with you.

And I will be asking your uncle to install security cameras outside your window.

And I will kill you if you say my body type.

And I would prefer that you do not bring him over again.

And I'll be doing Jennifer Lopez's speech from Hustlers.

And I'll grab more drinks.

And I'll work on not being so condescending.

And I'm already in serious relationships with several avatars in the virtual world.

And I'm just, ugh, nerdy little me with no abs.

And I'm like, "Grandma, stop trying to eat your toothbrush. It's not a hot dog."

And I'm not even worried about the hour long drive.

And I'm not stupid.

And I'm sorry.

And I'm still trying to impress the son of a bitch.

And I've been struck by lightning. [laughs]

And is like, "Eh, parents don't need to know"? Get me the brochure.

And it has to happen at my normal high school

And it set a mood,

And it tells you whether you have to act out a historical event

And it was his favorite thing…

And it was powerful and sensual and…

And it will take us all the way till the end of the year.

And it's because I hooked up with a girl he liked.

And it's cool to be smart.

And just as your speech climaxes super hard,

And just started kissing, which was awesome.

And look a little tortured.

And look what happened.

And looking at you sitting alphabetically with the rest of the losers at graduation.

And may I say, I am frightened by the powers you possess.

And maybe you were off with your mystery man,

And memorizing a Wikipedia page doesn't change that.

And my hair might not be as shiny as yours,

And no student would be caught dead going to that,

And not be like trying to rip each other's clothes off all the time, right?

And not because everyone was sitting on the ground

And not just because everyone there's hot.

And not the cheap kind. My guests deserve the one that feels like a little quilt.

And now he's home alone, and it just breaks my heart.

And now I'm picturing them having sex and…

And now I'm stuck living here at this creepy Hollywood orphanage.

And now my grandmother is throwing her a mixer tonight

And now she would be forced to endure a sober game of Brain Cranker.

And now the boy becomes a man.

And now there was only one thing left to do.

And now they actually do think you're descending into madness.

And now they run an Etsy store selling Grateful Dead sweatshirts.

And of course I'll be at your game later. I don't know what I was thinking.

And of course, Zoe Maytag, no introduction needed.

And once I have your measurements, no one's allowed to gain or lose an ounce.

And one day, I hope he'll get to prove that to you.

And one day, you will find someone who loves you exactly as you are,

And one even called him Dork Cousteau.

And one thing led to another, and we did it.

And only two of them are now dead.

And Optimus Prime gave his blessings.

And our upstairs neighbor was the 210 Freeway.

And per Dr. Ryan, she was about to surprise herself.

And please don't make them Vaudeville actors from the 1800s

And plunged headfirst into all of the stages of breakup grief.

And popular kids are fun and hilarious.

And put a screen saver on it so it looks like the one from Jeopardy.

And put away things from the keep pile.

And rewrite the Bill of Rights as if it were written,

And secondly,

And secondly, that way of thinking is selling you both short.

And see that Des isn't dickless at all.

And send it over to Ben

And several hours long."

And she and I look exactly alike.

And she did not want to waste it.

And she does the class seated.

And she even didn't invite you for her birthday party.

And she even got suspended from school.

And she had a pretty good idea who he was texting with.

And she spanked her harp solo.

And so Eric shows me Paxton's card, and it's frigging Haley.

And so, after a humiliating afternoon,

And sparkly men's earrings,

And subscribe those ladies to a lot of spam?

And talking without raising their hand.

And that doesn't mean you love your dad any less.

And that person made me try things that I was bad at.

And that they used to be Devi.

And that was his racket that won?

And that you are one TV dinner away from being like my Uncle Aravind.

And that's only because the coach put cocaine in the team's water.

And that's time. Let's move on to closing statements.

And the humiliation keeps a coming.

And the instructions are so complicated.

And the maintenance staff turns the lights down low,

And the only way to go forward was to let the test go.

And the sad thing is, you didn't even have to.

And the way that you faked out that mean looking girl,

And then after the vows, we went to the Transformers ride,

And then I got Eric on the compatibility quiz.

And then I just saw him.

And then kind of blew her off.

And then my dad remarried a white woman in Baton Rouge,

And then my mom moved to Myrtle Beach to run a nightclub.

And then my pet rat goes to the rat trap that my mom set, and now Paxton?

And then swerved around that other girl, and then slammed the ball into the net.

And then teach those units to the class.

And then the second part of that strategy is

And then we had sex,

And then, Devi, I'd love for you to sit in on my next class,

And then, we're gonna go at it,

And there will be index cards with flirty icebreakers at the door.

And there's even a receipt inside from my Shiseido's perfume.

And there's no UN or Hot Pocket.

And there's this weird tension between us,

And they have had sex.

And they would assemble for such debates atop a hill known as the Pnyx.

And thinks all Indian dudes are just computer geeks

And this is certainly a bizarre interaction to get us chatting,

And those kids hate me slightly less.

And though the bar was low,

And three months in the middle.

And to the other teams,

And trapped her for like 12 hours. [laughs]

And try and find some sort of emotional connection.

And Valentine's Day was gonna frickin' rule.

And very creepy database,

And wait for her chiseled, doting boyfriend

And was finally at peace with her breakup,

And was one step closer to the pinnacle of human existence, senior year.

And wasn't it a bit thrilling to see Smita Auntie take a little tumble?

And wasn't just some school sanctioned orgy.

And we can watch our Property Brothers install a waterfall island.

And we have our finalists! Congrats to Sherman Oaks and Hartman Hill.

And we have to respect her boundaries.

And we make love against the bricks of an old abbey.

And we mostly compete against colleges.

And we're gonna drink it in the hot tub with the boy band from 5C.

And weirdly he's sort of a combo of the two of us if we were also Indian.

And what about it, Fabiola?

And what's left of my expensive label tape,

And when someone orders a cookie,

And while Ben's future was still undecided,

And while she can't dip it in gold like some bougie cat collar,

And who doesn't wish I was someone else.

And why are you still standing here? Don't you have a class to get to?

And why I thought everyone at your school was strangely small.

And why is she looking at him like that?

And with all the extra credit I've been doing,

And with that, I would like to hand the mic over to someone who

And yet he made no effort to touch my feet.

And yet, there was one little thing that was still bothering her.

And you can see Des in the reflection of their sunglasses.

And you can try the assignment again. I just insist that Margot tutor you.

And you don't wanna be someone that doesn't own up to her mistakes.

And you have filled it with dirty napkins.

And you made Trent cry. So mission accomplished.

And you make me feel stupid,

And you must miss Eve.

And you said General Custard, that should count, right?

And you think you and Paxton are getting tons of eye bats?

And you turn invisible to potential lovers.

And you want everyone else to be as unhappy as you are.

And you were also so mean to Devi for, like, years.

And you were unbelievable.

And you, Eleanor, my girlfriend, a chance to throw me a birthday party tonight.

And you! I mean, I'm amazed by you.

And you're being selfish.

And you're hot.

And you're not. This is why Aneesa dumped you.

And you're this super cool, beautiful girl.

And your neighbors remind me of the children in horror films.

And yours was bad. D minus.

And, Eric, you're not even in debate. You should be in Saturday detention. Go.

And, Fabiola, you're with Addison now.

And, like, you can talk and express yourself,

And, more importantly,

And, Ms. Vishwakumar, if you could just hang back for a second.

And, um, this really wild thing happened

And…

Aneesa wasn't upset that Ben had ignored her.

Aneesa, I need to tell you something.

Aneesa, I was just teasing. It was just a joke.

Aneesa, what are you doing here?

Aneesa!

Aneesa. Neese, wait. You have to talk to me.

Another reason I kind of thought you were a dork.

Any friend of my friend is also my friend.

Anytime someone says that to me,

Anyway, I think I've made my point.

Anyway, I thought that meant we were gonna be something more,

Anyway, I would like to give you, Paxton, my best friend,

Anyway, now she was back to being her normal nerdy, Indian virgin self

Anyway, sorry about all this, and I promise not to bother you again.

Anyways, I'm really sorry.

Anyways, last summer, we were messing around

Apparently, I have to be the cartoon hot dog

Are you all right, Ben?

Are you drunk?

Are you having a stroke?

Are you here to play paintball too?

Are you in medical school?

Are you more mad that you got Eric,

Are you okay? What's going on?

Are you still gonna work the door at my concert for volunteer hours?

Are you sure you're not still banned?

Are you sure? I mean, I wouldn't want you to feel pressured into anything.

Are you sure? This school seems like it could really set you up for success.

Are you talking about college? Dude, you'll get into college.

Are you talking about your speech? You should do like a sexy dance.

Are you the architect, the anesthesiologist, or the astronaut?

Are you the charity we're raising money for tonight?

Are you upset again that I won't leak the names of my celebrity clients?

Are you worried he misunderstood what he saw?

Are you worried that something is going on between them?

Are you, like, a player now?

Arizona State University.

Arizona, as in the state, Arizona?

As a local venture capitalist stated in a recent LA Times op ed,

As a person who loves physics, it was thrilling.

As I always say,

As it should be.

As long as Paxton's perfect match was her?

As much as I love Devi

As she played the shit out of Liszt,

AS what? What even are those letters?

As you can imagine, she did not take it well

At a university? Uh, Stanford, perhaps?

At first, I thought it was new relationship jitters,

At least I got to flirt a little. It's been a while since I did that.

At Shrublands, students refer to teachers by their first names.

At the concert, I overheard Des's mom tell him that he has to break up with you.

At the so called perfect match of Haley and Paxton,

At the Universal Studios.

At the Valley Regional Debate Tournament.

At the very least, it'll be a fun tale to one day tell your children.

Atop bong water stains.

Aw, El!

Aw. You guys are so cute. How are things going?

Babe, I don't know if I can come.

Babe, I know leaving school is scary,

Babe, I'm just talking about some subtle ambiance. Let me show you.

Babe, why didn't you say Fresh Prince or Jaden and Willow's dad?

Baby, the world is big.

Back to your parents or whoever your legal guardians may be.

Badly for you, goodly for me.

Basically,

Basically. Oh, are you worried that I'm going to steal your thunder?

Because according to her,

Because as you may remember,

Because CalTech has been this unbelievable opportunity for me.

Because everything I need is right here.

Because he claimed my emails were "violently smug."

Because he had started listening to an audiobook of King Lear

Because he had, like, a super bad cold.

Because her vibes were covered in dust bunnies.

Because I definitely have the time to work an extra job. [chuckles]

Because I know how to host properly!

Because I need to dump Trent.

Because I was dope at swimming, and according to the yearbook,

Because I'm a good friend.

Because I'm Indian?

Because I'm not who you think I am.

Because it will be seared into Devi's memory forever.

Because my kid was in the hospital.

Because now I gotta take you to prison,

Because now I know that I'm more than just the hot guy

Because obviously, you have a better printing situation.

Because of our moms,

Because otherwise, Des and I are really great.

Because per the computer, opposites attract.

Because she's my friend.

Because something extraordinarily painful was happening to his insides.

Because they're all crunchy uggos.

Because this one's about to get shredded.

Because we assumed he was perfect."

Because you know you dicked me over too, right?

Because you should give it a chance.

Because you took money from the offering plate.

Because you voted for him. [chuckles]

Because you're from a fancy private school?

Because you're smart like she is.

Because your ex is obviously this handsome dude,

Because, honey, I don't think Devi is right for you.

Because, once again, I am seeing Manish, and if you just give him a chance

Because, you know, you're Paxton Hall Yoshida.

Because…

Before I begin, what was the name

Before the concert…

Before the movie starts and ask everyone to silence your phones.

Being smart isn't all that it's cracked up to be.

Ben and I just broke up.

Ben finally realized that Columbia was not the end all be all.

Ben Gross.

Ben had missed this assignment

Ben had wanted to go to Columbia, just like his father had.

Ben, I'm proud of you.

Ben, right? You seem like you're really going through something.

Ben, since when do you just give up?

Ben, you're in no position to give me romantic advice about anything, okay?

Ben's full of shit. Right?Des is just busy.

Bet you thought you could beat me, huh?

Better?

Between Paxton and his smoking hot ex.

Between the demon Mahishasura and goddess Durga. Right, Devi?

Boom. She outed herself.

Both of you guys just come to my house after school.

Bragging about his hot girlfriend to the residence hall staff.

Brava. A plus.

Bring it in.

Burn. I thought you liked me now.

But after that party, I kinda started to wonder

But also his fart arrived quietly in the night,

But also remember, grief is an expression of love.

But also she was stupid because she had no idea the crush was reciprocal

But also, I know you're nursing a broken heart, Devi.

But also, she decided the only way she could let the test go

But also, this one is right

But anyway, we're a good team.

But anyway, you're with a dork.

But apparently the computer feels like he's out of my league.

But as a woman or a friend or whatever, I just felt like you needed to know.

But because of the hardworking part.

But because she didn't want anything to ruin the dream

But before Devi could hit send, she had an epiphany.

But by choice, not by circumstance like you.

But could you shoot me so I can be out of the game and get a soda?

But damn, mystery girl was getting interesting as hell.

But decided to make it official at the coffeehouse.

But Devi is really complicated.

But did you notice how many girls were, like, fawning over Alejandro?

But do I really want to spend my last year in a shack in the woods?

But doesn't this quiz feel kind of creepy? Like, real 1984 vibes.

But don't worry. I will not be asking if you might know what's going on there.

But Eleanor knew better.

But even in severe abdominal pain, he was still able to make me laugh.

But even though there was very little action happening between these two,

But ever since we started dating, it's kind of been whomp, whomp. [sighs]

But he couldn't even focus on that

But he definitely does not look like a dork.

But he has the soul of Seth Rogen and none of the charm.

But he is not a serious man.

But he knew that the only way to make sure he'd get in

But he makes me really happy. Doesn't that count for anything?

But he was more of a dreamer than a doer.

But he was still going to apply.

But honestly, I got to take a break from you bookworms.

But how am I supposed to break my dry spell if I can't find anyone to

But I also may have cheated, but in a way that didn't even help us,

But I also think he's sad to be leaving me.

But I am so grateful.

But I am swimming in possibilities.

But I can wear my veil if that would help.

But I can't keep trying to convince you of that.

But I didn't realize that it reached all the way down to Southern California!

But I do have determination and grit

But I do think that you should reconsider Shrubland.

But I do want to get horizontal, you know?

But I guess I'm too much of a freak for that.

But I have memories of Dad too,

But I I'm really sorry if this Phoebe thing hurts you.

But I just feel really happy.

But I just saw that Buca di Beppo is looking for a new pasta associate.

But I kind of kept talking to the troll.

But I know I can't.

But I mostly just wanted to say hi.

But I need you…

But I owe you an apology.

But I probably wouldn't be going to college if it weren't for you.

But I promise you can trust me.

But I really hope no one hooked up with him

But I stand by my initial analysis.

But I swear we're just friends.

But I think I can fix that.

But I thought you said you didn't want to go!

But I wanted us to have some alone time.

But I was a coward about it.

But I was just thinking of what's best for both of our kids.

But I will Wikipedia soccer before the big game.

But I won't take the commercial, and you'll never have to see me again.

But I wouldn't do that to someone now.

But I'm actually excited to live on my own.

But I'm an adult.

But I'm gonna leave you my number just in case you change your mind.

But I'm great in all my classes.

But I'm not gonna do that.

But I'm so thankful that I did

But if anyone could do it,

But if last night taught him anything,

But if today taught her anything, it was that she already fit in.

But if we can get you a new fiancé really fast,

But if you're gonna film in the room, I do ask that you put down a tarp.

But instead by Founding Mothers.

But it does give a whole new meaning to this shoebox filled with loose sporks.

But it is like an edgy game night.

But it still will be better than when you get a bunch of B's.

But it was hard to tell with how lame you were being.

But it was infuriating how unthreatened he was.

But it's been weeks now.

But it's not like you're a loser or anything.

But it's still a waste of time. I'm never gonna go there.

But just to clarify,

But last night, he was a little flirty, right?

But Manish is not Tata.

But maybe it's too soon for that.

But maybe you could throw a spring roll up the stairs?

But mostly photos.

But my grades are good now.

But neither one of us will make the first move.

But no slurping. I need to hear all the flirting.

But no, it's not that.

But not as much as I wanted to see those books fall.

But now with Mohan gone, it felt different.

But on the other hand, she also didn't want to end up

But only one more year.

But others can take us to places we never thought we'd go.

But otherwise, I felt good.

But really, they're just a way to eat tons of sugar and pretend it's healthy for you.

But she doesn't know how lonely one can be.

But she started veering towards your bushes, so…

But she's the worst.

But since you insist on disobeying me constantly,

But that also might hurt my chances of getting into Columbia.

But that doesn't give you the right to make someone feel bad.

But that's not what I miss most about him.

But the bigger mistake here is still those pleats.

But the identity of Lady Whistleboy is one of the greatest mys

But the only thing they ever attack is our dumpster.

But the reason we sacrificed so much to come here

But then again, weren't they kind of cheating?

But then someone showed me how to push myself.

But then when I got to school the next day, he iced me out.

But then you got some straight up flare like this little crystal dolphin

But there aren't any seasons in Southern California.

But these babies are the whole damn bank.

But they just went live from Dark Roast,

But they kicked me out for asking to read Outlander a third time.

But this is one of the only options that came pre furnished.

But this is where I can be better than mine.

But we could always just go out to a restaurant.

But we forgot to roll sound on the other take, so…

But we were perfectly in sync like a nude pair's ice skating team.

But we'll get there.

But we'll still make out later, right?

But what about the horny part of you?

But what did the DMer mean when they said they used to be her?

But why do you care so much about this test?

But without the crowd?

But yes, you are very sexy.

But yet again, I love that we like different things,

But you and Paxton will always be friends.

But you didn't tell me her son was coming too. God!

But you didn't want to let me know?

But you may have been right to think that we can win.

But you really hurt her.

But you said it was illegal.

But you said it yourself, his future is so bright.

But you seem to have loads of time to dick around with her.

But you're a young woman now.

But you're right. You need to stand on your own.

But your steps had a lot of empty spaces.

But, hey, maybe I'll lose it to a sexy professor

But, like, dating you isn't worth pissing off my mom.

But, uh, today I didn't really have the time. Sorry.

But, um, actually,

But, um, maybe?

But…

But…

But… But since it was you who pulled me aside

By all the broken doll bits in the recycling bin.

By being a dream.

By how badly you're gonna get crushed at tomorrow's tournament.

By trying to shackle ourselves with commitment.

Bye.

Cal State Long Beach! Oh my God!

Calculus not a priority for you, Ben?

Came Devi's ticket to some alone time with Des.

Can anyone help me tape it this weekend?

Can be traced all the way back to the bosom of democracy.

Can do a pretty good Jackie O impression."

Can I come home for dinner tonight?

Can I kiss you?

Can I text you sometime?

Can I text you sometime?

Can still represent hope."

Can we just forget about it?

Can we please just go to that?

Can you believe it? Des and I are free.

Can you believe this? This is why we need real textbooks.

Can you please carry me in a less emasculating way?

Can you please find a way to forgive her so we can all move on?

Chances are you've seen them while pumping gas.

Cheers to my most romantic Valentine's Day dinner yet.

Clearly not good enough.

College level courses? Whoa.

Come here.

Come on now, that's just nasty.

Come on, Dad.

Come on, you have to admit this is bullshit, right?

Come on, you're awesome. You're beautiful. You're smart.

Come on. Come on.

Come on. I can… help you.

Coming right up.

Comparative Literature and Cultural Theory.

Compatibility quiz you took yesterday at lunch.

Congrats on the win.

Congratulations on your loverhood. [laughs]

Congratulations! You get to go to school near one of America's busiest ports!

Consensually, of course.

Consider it forgotten.

Constantly hovering nearby.

Cool.

Cool.

Cool.

Cool.

Cool. Guess I'll just sit over here then.

Cool. I love Brain Cranker.

Cool. So, what are you thinking theme wise?

Could he stoop any lower?

Couldn't you get into trouble for not reporting this?

Crap. I was so focused on getting candles and stuff for my sexy bedroom,

Custard is a dessert. Custer is the general.

Cut!

Dad, I'm gonna scale my schedule back,

Dad!

Dad? Why aren't you in Arizona?

Daddy bought a piece of tennis history on eBay.

Damn it.

Damn it.

Damn it. He's being really cute.

Damn, six hours of homework?

Damn, you got rid of this Prince Eric looking dude?

Damn. Was it in an episode of Indian Matchmaking?

Damn. Well played, dude.

Damn. What's going on with us? Why are we so awkward?

Dang, dude. The student lounge is looking straight up romantique.

Dang.

David, let me save you some time.

Deal.

Definitely no one in elementary school did.

Definitely not. It's crazy you would say that.

Defy other people's expectations of you,

Des did say "sacrosanct duty."

Des got into Stanford early.

Des is a weenie.

Des is far better than the riffraff I've caught my daughter with.

Des, are you being, like, hella cute right now?

Des, honey, do you know where my credit card

Des, honey, do you know where my credit card

Des, I have to tell you something.

Despite that, those MIT scientists know what they're talking about.

Despite what your haircut says about you, you are a grown up.

Devi How are you not dressed yet?

Devi and Des had been caught rounding second…

Devi and Paxton were occasionally forced into awkward moments like this.

Devi couldn't decide whether or not to ask Paxton about Haley.

Devi does not have problems.

Devi faced her trauma, her mom was happily Team Des,

Devi had spent the last 13 hours

Devi has a troll that says Paxton isn't who he says he is

Devi has a troll, which is thrilling.

Devi hoped Eleanor was right.

Devi knew Paxton had hooked up with lots of girls before.

Devi Vishwakumar, come with me.

Devi Vishwakumar, we need to chat.

Devi was feeling a little guilty

Devi was feeling happier in this new relationship

Devi was proud of herself. Look at her.

Devi, come on. I know you're not very religious.

Devi, did I lose you again?

Devi, don't go

Devi, don't. Let's work through this.

Devi, how could you?

Devi, I can explain.

Devi, I can't take it anymore.

Devi, I'm sorry I lied to you. I…

Devi, I'm sorry. I really was trying to look out for you.

Devi, no! You're making the jealous nerd face.

Devi, stop it. I know you cheated.

Devi, these tickets are for Friday.

Devi, what

Devi, what did I tell you about closing the door when boys are here?

Devi, what I'm hearing is that you've been happier lately

Devi, why aren't you looking?

Devi, why'd you go quiet?

Devi, you have to.

Devi, you used to make that face all the time.

Devi!

Devi? Are you okay?

Devi.

Devi. Guess what?