Loot (2022) - Season 1 Edit

A disaster at a charity ribbon cutting earlier today.

A full time crepe chef.

A microwave bean and cheese burrito.

Actually, she was one.

All I wanna do is keep coming in. That's it.

All right, let me fix this.

All right.

All the sheltered ladies All the sheltered ladies

All the sheltered ladies All the sheltered ladies

Always looking out for me. I love it.

And all the brave women who are here with us today, so…

And as you can probably tell, this is the smallest pool on the entire ship.

And by the way, the cash bar opens at 7:00…

And get rid of the dolphins too?

And he could live on the boat.

And heated stools for the most important butt in my life.

And I don't think it's a good idea to show up to a shelter for unhoused people

And I had to stay at The Plaza.

And I just keep thinking, "Should I have done things differently?

And I just want to applaud them

And I need you to know, Black Twitter has your back.

And I would call back all our angry customers.

And I'll give you the diagnosis right now.

And let's be honest,

And Mama's goin' down to 66.

And my product lines and my job here.

And now that I think about it, was there any world

And that's actually the reason I called you in today.

And then after my divorce,

And they're beautiful.

And this is Arthur, my boring, white cubicle mate.

And try to draw attention to people in need.

And what, exactly, do you mean by my "behavior"?

And you better get here early if you want a muffin.

And you won't have any more problems from me.

And…

And… sent.

At the end of those three weeks, I felt like I was getting out of Shawshank.

Awful weather today, huh?

Bartosz, this is a stick. How do you use a clutch?

Because lives are literally at stake.

Billionaire Molly Novak gave out luxury gift bags

But I think…

But I'm doing that now.

But I'm not here to be your therapist.

But if you are crazy, we're here for you.

But it's good for the soul.

But my heart was in the right place.

But now I run the computers here or whatever.

But there was one summer

But there's actually some incense in the bag

But you can't go traveling around the world,

But you know what I could really go for?

Can we say 11:00?

Can we turn the sun down, like, 20%

Come on. Let me show you around.

Cousin Molly, come in here, girl!

Critics say this is an embarrassing black eye

Did you enjoy the rest of the boat?

Do you do any sort of charity work or anything like that?

Do you guys mind if I borrow this particular beautiful woman right here

Don't be crazy, okay?

Don't ever speak to me again!

Drinks are on me. I own four soccer teams.

Eight months after accusations of infidelity.

Eighty seven billion.

Especially after what happened. You do you.

Everybody, please enjoy, and thank you so much for coming.

Everything was him, him, him, and…

Everything's gonna be fine.

Excuse me, Molly. Can I speak with you in my office?

Find something else.

Fine.

For a few minutes?

For a new shelter downtown that we've been working on for years.

For being here with us on this special day.

For the charity led by the country's newly minted third richest woman.

From a lot of dedicated and wonderful people.

Fuck!

Getting on the news for falling into swimming pools.

Give me a hug.

Give them the resources they need to do good work,

Go to space. Anything.

God, we are so fucked.

Goddamn it, Bartosz.

Good call.

Good present?

Got some dinner ready for you.

Great. How's 9:00 a.m.?

Hailey?

Hailey?

Happy birthday, baby.

He told me he was gonna talk to you.

Her new nickname for me is Mitt Romney.

Hey, come find me later. I'll give you a tour, okay?

Hey, how you guys doing?

Hey, I am so sorry that I jetted off this morning.

Hey, Sting. What's up?

Hey, this is a weird question, but you're a successful guy.

Hey. Where's this all coming from?

Hi, there! I decided to come.

Hi, there.

Hi.

Hi. Don't forget to tell me about Denmark, okay? Hi.

Hi. It's so nice to meet you.

Hideous.

Holy shit.

How about this party, huh?

How do you know where his ties are?

Howard! Little Wee wee.

Howard?

I actually I have to go to Sweden.

I admire that.

I am so sorry, guys.

I bet you're her hero now.

I can even cook.

I can tell you that for me, home is where my wine fridge is.

I can't believe you're turning 45. You look incredible.

I could only control how I respond to it.

I couldn't control my ex wife's behavior.

I do recognize you, but I'm just a waiter here.

I don't care how much she's got.

I don't know who that is, but thank you.

I don't know.

I feel so happy!

I follow the Squad on Facebook.

I gave $10,000 to Greenpeace. That should even it out, right?

I had sex with you when you had your weird body…

I have an office?

I have been by your side for 20 years!

I have to go meet with Hailey. It's an emergency.

I just You always hear about stuff like this happening.

I just got swept up in my husband's life.

I just noticed that John had something on his tie,

I like that you're role playing as a waiter tonight, Sting.

I mean, people are going to follow me

I mean, these candles are dope.

I mean, this is quite a birthday, right?

I never did the work to find out who I am

I really would prefer 9:00. Thank you very much, Miss Novak.

I see why they're so popular!

I think I wanna dye my hair.

I used to work at this comic book store/vape shop,

I want a divorce.

I want it to be special and perfect for you.

I wanted better hours to spend more time with my daughter.

I was at a big firm before.

I was wondering if you wouldn't mind coming into the office tomorrow.

I will swing by Ikea in the morning, learn some Swedish, and then we can go.

I would love to have it in person.

I'd take it. That's a lot of shoes, honey.

I'll find one that's going through a divorce.

I'll go get you a new one, okay?

I'll go heat that up for you.

I'll tell you when I actually step foot on it.

I'm actually a little embarrassed to have to show it to you.

I'm actually not Sting.

I'm gonna go say hi.

I'm not used to meeting celebrities, so…

I'm only in Sweden for a couple weeks and then Prague.

I'm really proud of that after school program we funded for at risk kids.

I'm sensing you're a little mad,

I'm sorry. I don't really care about any of that.

I'm the executive director of your foundation.

I'm totally committed. I won't let you down.

I've been playing it over and over in my head.

I've made foie gras with lychee, pine nut, and Riesling gelée.

In a fleet of $100,000 SUVs

In my defense, I really did think it was Sting.

In our house? In our bedroom?

In the short time we have on this earth.

Individual temperature controls.

Is it because I didn't get preventative Botox?

Is it just four walls and a roof?

It looks amazing, guys. Thank you so much.

It took a lot of hard work

It took me a few years to recover myself.

It's been a long time!

It's been there for a long time, since way before the divorce.

It's extremely offensive. I'm very liberal.

It's hard to describe. It's more of a feeling.

It's just It's gonna be so boring.

It's just wild seeing you in person.

It's like a big bongo drum.

It's really, really scary.

It's so good to see you!

It's straight guys. They're idiots.

It's, like, endless meetings about finance and international tax law and… you know?

John, what do you think?

Just come back inside. We'll talk.

Just you and me, okay?

Knock, knock. Hi.

Lawyers today announce the official dissolution of the marriage

Let me show you around. This is the third deck bar.

Let's not diminish what she's gone through.

Let's roll!

Listen, our good friend Seal is here to sing a birthday song to Molly.

Look, I'm not trying to shame a girl for having a good time,

Lots of people fall into swimming pools all the time.

Love crepes.

Making her the third wealthiest woman in the country.

Michael Bolton singing to me?

Molly Novak. You might have seen me on TV.

Molly Novak's net worth is now $87 billion,

Molly, how about we talk in private?

Molly, please, just let me explain.

Molly, you know what? I can explain.

Molly.

Molly. Hey.

Molly's birthday!

Money alone can't buy you happiness.

Must have items that I think no woman can live without.

My aunt does send me some pretty bad stuff that's very troubling

My Aunt Patty is your mom's cousin? Little Wee wee.

No matter the cost.

No matter where I'm going,

No problem.

No, gang violence.

No, I'm just kidding. It's just been a few years.

No, it's cute.

No, not at all. She hates me.

No. That can't be who I think it is.

Now, before we officially open things, I have a little surprise for everyone.

Now, I told Nicholas to fill this thing with all your favorite stuff

Now, I've personally never been unhoused,

Now, the shelter will offer physical and mental wellness checks.

Of course!

Of tech CEO John Novak and his wife

Oh, my God, it's Sting.

Oh, my God, you guys made it! And I can't wait to catch up with you.

Oh, my God. There she is!

Oh, no. I'm not a celebrity.

Oh, no. You don't wanna do that.

Oh, yes, you are.

Okay, but it would be nice to get your input at some point.

Okay, I'm ready for my speech.

Okay, look. Our reputation here is very important to me

Okay, maybe I didn't nail it on what I put in the bags,

Okay, sure.

Okay, thank you No, you know what? Can we say 10:00?

Okay? No, I'm just kidding.

Okay.

Okay. Don't worry, everybody,

Okay. Get a love seat, maybe some meatballs?

Okay. We talked about optics yesterday,

On the scale of ageless Jennifers, you went from Aniston to Lopez.

Or is it something more than that?

Or was I always meant to lose out to a 25 year old vagina?"

Or who I am supposed to be.

Pay the bills you forgot about.

Please, it's the least I could do for our team.

Please.

Remember back at the beginning?

Right? So, that's something.

Right.

Seal, why don't you come on up here?

See you at the party.

See, that makes sense. That's something you're passionate about.

Seriously, are you even listening?

Seriously, let's do it.

She gave me one of the biggest hugs of my life.

She hung up.

She's a fucking child.

Shut the fuck up!

So I figured I might as well use it to help you guys out.

So I was bringing him a new one.

So last night I decided to personally curate a grab bag of absolutely essential,

So we can go to the ribbon cutting in style.

So you have this hole inside of you, and you're trying to fill it.

So, go ahead and open your bags.

So, the kitchen's down there.

So, tomorrow we have a ribbon cutting ceremony

So, what do you think of your new boat?

Some handblown crystal stemware,

Sorry, that sounds like I'm on white supremacy groups. I'm not.

Sorry. I don't mean to stare.

Spaghetti, microwave burrito, the options are endless.

Start a handbag line. Join a book club.

Sting, it's okay.

Sting!

Stop. Don't blame yourself.

Sure.

Sweetie, do you think Mary Kate and Ashley would like this pool?

Thank you again or getting us these cars.

Thank you so much, everybody,

Thank you, David Chang.

Thank you.

Thank you. I know.

Thank you. We are so proud to open up this shelter.

Thanks, David Chang!

That are absolutely terrible for the environment.

That many are calling out of touch and extremely offensive.

That sounds amazing.

That will really help with that.

That's a great idea.

That's actually not a bad idea. Thank you.

That's all I care about.

That's my name. What are they thanking me for?

That's nice.

That's pretty great. You can be 71, and I can be 68.

That's the drugs!

That's tomorrow?

The boat is amazing. The party is incredible.

The dogs.

The new ring?

The temperature in this car.

Then I'm back here, and we can go have that dinner.

There is a hole inside of me.

There was just one other thing I thought could be nice.

There's an entire channel devoted to fishing because of them.

They have the same hairline when you're on drugs.

They're overreacting. This coverage is so skewed.

They're sending the chopper.

This is Sofia Salinas.

This is your birthday gift.

This whole room smells like clean white women.

Those are my grandparents.

To different charities in Southern California,

To remind you that your behavior does reflect on us as an organization,

Tomorrow night?

Tonight, for your first course,

Trading some man for 90 bill.

Twenty eight years.

Very cool.

Wait, you're not scheduled to do a speech.

Was she even born when we graduated college?

Was this going on when we renewed our vows in the Bahamas?

Way too cute.

We have a wild one on our hands.

We have the same hair color now. Let's get a photo.

We probably need one of those.

We used to do everything together.

We were kinda like partners.

We're here to help as many people as we can

We're on the same team here.

We've got a beautiful Meneghini refrigerator,

Well, I can hang with that stuff.

Well, I mean, maybe she's just going through a phase.

Well, I'll tell you what I can control.

Well, it took me a while, but I finally realized

Well, let's see.

Well, those two look really messed up. I hope we help them.

Well, we still are partners.

Well, you guys do a lot of stuff like this, huh?

What a dream that is, right?

What are all these cars for?

What are they at risk for? Being too damn cute?

What are you doing in here?

What defines a home really?

What I would really love to see would be whatever you wanna see.

What if we had dinner alone? Just the two of us.

What in the hell?

What is it?

What is up, Los Angeles?

What is wrong with you?

What? No. That's not how this works.

Whatever you want, consider it donezo.

Where they were doing construction on our New York home,

Where you could've stopped me from coming in if that's what I wanted?

Which makes our job harder.

Which was a lot.

While delivering a rambling, incoherent speech

White Facebook is also very supportive.

Why did this happen to me?

Why don't you two just stay here?

With Pringles on the side.

Without a prenuptial agreement,

Wow, look at this.

Wow, you really take this seriously, don't you?

Wow. I can't believe there are so many people here.

Wow. I guess I'm doing really good in comparison.

Wow. That's amazing.

Wow. When I said that to Oprah,

Yeah, but they don't then get out and try to give the waiter a lap dance.

Yeah, I get that.

Yeah, I had Nicholas float that I was coming down.

Yeah, I went to a pretty dark place.

Yeah, I work with a few charities in the food space.

Yeah, it's good.

Yeah, it's tough to find the time, with all my restaurants

Yeah, looks great.

Yeah, this is she.

Yeah, well, I kinda spent my whole life doing it. So, yes.

Yeah. Sorry, I'm just getting slammed here.

Yes, I'll be asleep.

Yes, of course.

Yes! You guys!

Yes. It's a fairly important conversation.

Yes. No, you're right.

Yes. We funnel your money

You No, shit.

You and your husband started it seven years ago.

You drink some champagne and keep poking around.

You fucking kidding me?

You got a spot on your tie.

You have something at 9:00?

You have the best skin of any human being alive.

You know what we should get in here?

You know what? Fuck it.

You know what? I'm gonna ask you something politely right now.

You know what? I'm gonna cut it off there.

You know what? You have your trauma, and I respect that,

You know who this pool will be perfect for?

You know, she could still be processing the divorce.

You look beautiful. You're a goddess.

You never think it's gonna happen to you.

You okay?

You only showed up today because you got divorced.

You ride with her.

You should be having sex with all three members of Migos.

You want my input?

You'd stay up all night in the garage coding,

You're batshit crazy if you don't take advantage of that.

You're being treated unfairly.

You're just incredibly intimidating.

You're like the most famous cheated on woman on the planet.

You're not taking this seriously.

You're not totally wrong.

You're so funny.

You're the sweetest.

You've been with us for

…for all that you do. Thank you.

Am I right? It helps. Maybe a little, just a little.

Are you with me, Mitt? I Wow.

Fuck you! Molly.

Goddamn it! Honey…

Great. Come. Follow me.

Hello? Molly Novak?

Hello. Sofia Salinas. Hi. Molly. So nice to meet you.

Helps a lot. Stop it.

I bought a djembe, and I took lessons. Oh, Jesus.

I love that. Right?

I'm guessing we got you a job here. Damn straight you did.

If you say so. Great.

Is that better? Just hold on to me. Sting!

It was great to meet you. And thank you… Of course.

Love it. Genius. I'll get on it. Right?

Michael Bolton? Shut up, Seal!

My what? Your charity foundation.

Nice to meet you. I'm the accountant here.

No, of course not. Right.

Oh, my God. Say "Sting."

Okay, we're good. Get in. What did you just do?

Okay? Okay.

Okay. …before you fixed it with money.

Okay. My desk is right here.

Sting. Oh, my God. Look at us.

Thank you for coming in. Yeah.

Thank you, hon. Course.

That's all in the past. So… Okay.

That's really sweet. Yeah.

That's what that is? Yeah.

Wait, I need a better angle. Hold on. How's that?

Well, it helps. It helps.

What? I know.

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah. Well, what if I come with you?

Yes, take me with you. Let's do it.

You do that. I'll get us more drinks. 'Kay.

You know, I have to run to a meeting. Yes. That sounds great.