Rutherford Falls (2021) - Season 2 Edit

A "Cheers" DVD,

A $9 bottle of chardonnay,

A AstroTurf backyard with an above ground pool.

A beautiful service, Linda.

A bunch of tacky garbage?

A canoe paddle from the North Pacific Coast,

A day I can specify

A fair system of placement,

A few years ago, we opened a second location in town.

A hug.

A latte with your portrait lasered into the foam?

A lizard.

A lot of things.

A lot of us needed that. [light laughs, murmurs]

A mark so deep, it scars.

A Mouthwatering History."

A perfect cat eye on the go.

A picture of the Zoingas?

A rainbow farted...

A reasonable profit share together.

A rose. A red rose.

A show with a 90% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes,

A two to three bedroom trailer here.

A whole ass baby to feed and raise?

A whole new dimension to this place?

About an EMT who adopts a shelter dog,

About any assumptions we've made about one another.

About getting Aunt Sue's land?

About how white people are super fragile

About me, and I'm here to answer them all,

About the book "White Fragility."

About the carbon offset slave traders of Ecuador.

About the Minishonka ceremony.

About the relationship between the people and the land.

About us, and...

About your "Adirondack" set visit?

Actually asked her to refuse the Academy Award?

Actually, concern doesn't

After all we've done to erase these people.

After everything you've done for my sis,

After months of bureaucracy,

Agree that this night never happened.

Ah ah ah!

Ah, but then I won't get the 20% discount at the gift shop.

Ah, I'm so sorry.

Ah, okay.

Ah, were you trying to tell me something?

Ah. Oh.

AKA my house.

Alden Whitmer, producing co EP.

All I can think about is running over to Stewart's

All of your sketchy discretionary spending,

All of your weird creative accounting,

All pro football linebackers. [chuckles nervously]

All right, I gotta head out.

All right, oh, you worked at Denver Museum of Mankind.

All right? The bowls have their place

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Take me through this.

All right. What's gonna make the best apology?

All the high notes the entire time we're painting

All the lights in here have dimmers.

All the local power players will be there.

All the paperwork and phone calls,

All the single uncles there's too many.

All the while maintaining the museum in town

All these different people

All this faux patriotism makes my tummy hurt.

All we got to do is find our old friend Kaitlyn.

All: [grumbling]

All: Surprise!

All: Yeah!

Almost suffocating in that coffin,

Also, not a Minishonka thing, but Holt knows

Also, Terry, I'm gonna hire a curator,

Also, where is he?

Although, Curtis really did show up for me today.

Am I having a stress dream? I mean, hi.

Am I right, Bill?

Amber, could you have the second AD

An ancestral food garden, right?

An episode of "Adirondack," season three.

And "What to Expect When You're Expecting."

And 40% of those people wrote in,

And already my sweet baby angel is Antifa.

And also...

And beadwork are my favorite piece here,

And besides, look at them, they're a natural.

And can you hear me, man?

And check this out.

And demanded our seats at the table,

And do vote?

And don't bail him out.

And every tour for the last two months,

And finally, the Devil's Jump.

And focus on the campaign.

And for good reason. It's really important.

And for listening.

And for me, via text.

And four "mms" which, let's be honest,

And from, like, 18 different nations.

And furthermore, isn't this all Indian land?

And furthermore... Furthermore, okay.

And get the hell out of here.

And go get 'em.

And go get 'em. Go get 'em.

And grandmothers.

And he is better than ever, baby!"

And he is not the guy the podcast made him out to be.

And he made it!

And he said I'm brilliant.

And here's my tribal ID.

And hit the guy in the head.

And how does this town show it's appreciation?

And how the hell is everyone always at lunch here?

And I I really gotta honor Aunt Sue, you know?

And I actually I really need your help.

And I am going to have

And I am their campaign manager.

And I can't afford uncertainty in my life,

And I can't take any more heartache tonight.

And I didn't want to hear your opinions on that.

And I don't have kids,

And I don't know what kind of issues you're having right now,

And I don't need a lot of attention.

And I had cystic acne.

And I have an even bigger surprise.

And I heard you call me Calfzilla.

And I just wanted a chance to say goodbye before I take off.

And I know it would mean so much to Deirdre

And I let him work beside me and shape

And I like you all the time.

And I love you. Be my dad? [laughs]

And I need to get off the phone for my own safety.

And I really think I do at this point,

And I see that now. I'm super sorry.

And I see where she's coming from.

And I think you should run.

And I thought you should know.

And I wanted to discuss...

And I wanted to pick Mama's birthday present.

And I was like, "Nah, man."

And I would rather roll with you than through you.

And I, uh, may have led them

And I'd like your support.

And I'm glad that we all got to love her back

And I'm gonna make Nelson my best bud.

And I'm running out of ways to give them empty compliments.

And I'm screaming on the floor, in Sears,

And I'm still trying to wrap my head around all this.

And I've severed my ties to Ithaca College.

And if it helps, I'll be bringing back the best

And if she becomes mayor, Rutherford Falls,

And if she hadn't hired that private detective,

And if you can read "Horton Hears a Who!"

And in the soul of America. Mm hmm.

And is gonna walk in that door any second.

And is swimming in money.

And it was hilarious watching you drown.

And it was just staring at me.

And it would mean so much to me, to us,

And it's a great question.

And it's a helpful boundary for me and my constituents.

And it's gonna be great.

And it's gonna help later in the season,

And it's just wonderful to see destiny fulfilled.

And it's probably a good opportunity

And it's rude not to bring a dish.

And it's September, so...

And Josh's podcast about how he acted,

And kill Raphael?

And lend me your car when I want

And let's trash wasteful spending.

And look at the land you want.

And make sure they know I've grown and changed as a person.

And makes him a part of the tribe.

And Malcolm Gladwell books.

And Melanie, I know that you know what I know.

And my analytics speak for themselves.

And my dad's first ten addresses?

And my dear Reagan. Please don't.

And my patriarchal ancestor.

And Nathan, you may not have been a ghost, but...

And neither can this baby.

And Northeast Regional Historical Exhibition Museum.

And not the goofy nerdy one.

And now that I'm enlightened to these things,

And now that she's passed on...

And now you're here,

And now you've also invented a fake Indigenous custom.

And nowhere near your daughter.

And number two, Reagan is here,

And of course, in return, he's been helping me,

And our baby.

And people should have a third set of teeth

And point it at a fire?

And put it on you, then play the video.

And quick question, may I live here?

And reading the books.

And regain her confidence.

And remember, I know everyone at your school.

And sell it to Duz for 10 bucks.

And she found a way for the entire rez

And she pushed us.

And she says, "Let's do this!"

And she would have wanted you to have it.

And so far I've come up with:

And so, I'm just I'm tossing it out, starting from scratch.

And somehow it catches on fire.

And sorry I ate your fries and mine.

And start looking at Ye Olde Future.

And suddenly we're in a John Wayne mushroom trip?

And Sue cruises up to the Housewares department

And tell me, what the hell is going on?

And terrifying, like Maleficent in a milk bath.

And Terry agreed to close it for the day

And thank you, but you're hired.

And that frybread?

And that gut is protected by a very firm eight pack.

And that I don't even know

And that pool you said the ducks are gonna use

And that somehow my kid's gonna suffer because of it.

And that sounded like flirting, which we agreed not to do

And that's okay, but I'm not,

And that's what's important.

And the aging community she serves.

And the all Native "Pitch Perfect 7"

And the best part is,

And the Devil's Jump's demo is in ten minutes.

And the glaze is our

And the label here has two grammatical errors.

And the Midwestern band of Cherokee.

And the next mayor of Rutherford Falls

And the only condiment you want is ketchup?

And the plastic case is business.

And then and then a few weeks in the attic.

And then crapped his pants.

And then everyone will be back on board with America, right?

And then I read a third book called

And then I read another book about

And then they're unusable.

And then, before you know it,

And there shouldn't be.

And there was a pic of him with this girl in it,

And there's Lou. He just had a son.

And there's my meditation reminder.

And there's no way to say that without sounding sarcastic...

And they forgive you like friends,

And they got your back like sisters.

And they know how to sound inspiring

And they made us fight for the scraps.

And they're loving it.

And they're not for sale, Holt.

And they're not just a good story.

And they've done more for this town

And things are going great with Nelson.

And this friend is very happy for you.

And this is "An American Powder Keg:

And this is just from Michael's...on sale.

And this is not over.

And this is the result.

And those pics are gonna get me elected.

And to blast Bonnie Raitt at full volume.

And to everyone in that town

And to love this amazing town.

And together, they'll save the Super Bowl,

And too young to MC

And try to get you a campaign contribution.

And two beautiful sons, and, uh, six grandchildren.

And um... They're on their way.

And until Terry wakes up at 4:15,

And used it to support the kids that he had

And was super embarrassed about how he acted

And we all know what that means

And we are building a museum on our rez.

And we have to get people excited.

And we'll present this to council together.

And we're flying in Idina Menzel to come sing.

And we're giving it to him. Fine.

And wears a cowboy hat to space.

And what are you gonna do if you get any static?

And when I get back, I'm gonna tell you about the time

And when I was a kid, all I had were

And will most likely prosecute him

And with the support of Rutherford, Inc.

And you and I will negotiate

And you can teach him about trains and and sweaters.

And you get votes by convincing people

And you guys made a baby and you're both so adorkable.

And you have to crush them like a bug.

And you kind of left me

And you know I'll help you take care of anything you need.

And you know what? I love what I'm doing now.

And you'll do the same for Deirdre.

And you're both right.

And you're gonna get a doozy,

And you're gonna pay for it.

And you're handling it.

And you're the father.

And, oh, a lifetime of memories.

And, the extras saging the tepees...

And, you know, a little fire can be cool.

And...she loved us.

And...she's real sick.

Any juvie stint on that podcast you were on.

Anyone else?

Anyone I've wronged can just walk up and insult me

Anyone who doesn't have a family of their own.

Anything to do with it.

Anyway, it's the whole thing.

Anyway, seems like I missed my chance.

Are always looking down on us working class folk.

Are basically like hose holders.

Are either of you willing to poison a federal judge?

Are finally feeling possible:

Are gonna come out about Rutherford, Inc.

Are our ancestors' wildest dreams.

Are seniors. Keeps us fresh.

Are you a second season Netflix show?

Are you even high? Obviously.

Are you ever just, like, "We're having a baby"?

Are you home?

Are you in the city to see my show?

Are you trying to make your life even sadder?

Are you using a ring light or an actual halo?

Aren't going exactly as I planned.

As a corporate sponsor for the cultural center.

As a descendant of the Potawatomi.

As a fun tourist destination.

As a way to control their ecosystems,

As America's first 18 year old, nonbinary mayor.

As any type of achievement.

As his family's legacy fades,

As I said at the council vote,

As I'm sure you know.

As much as I hate to lose my white man in the cupboard,

As much as I, a Black woman,

As my doula but she said she's booked.

As of tomorrow,

As painful as it would be to stay,

As popular as Times Square.

Asking for our guidance on one of their episodes.

Asks me to do something annoying

At 3:45 a.m.

At best, you get some candy.

At graduation, but your voice kept cracking.

At the casino.

At the same time.

At this one gig in Syracuse, the promoter wouldn't pay us.

At this rate, we'll only have

At worst, I'm tipsy in a bar

Aunt Sue did so much for us, you know?

Aunt Sue hated 'em.

Aunt Sue hated carnations.

Aunt Sue taught me how to count in Minishonka.

Aunt Sue used to have me drive her cool Crown Vic

Aunt Sue's land to Curtis because he has a kid,

B R B.

Baby bling.

Baby doesn't even see this side.

Baby, middle, then old.

Back at the museum.

Back in your goddamn bottle?

Back into Mother Earth by now. Okay.

Bad for business. And I myself am not political.

Bald.

Beautiful. Thanks.

Because apparently everyone was put on Earth

Because as a proud Minishonka woman,

Because as they say in the big leagues,

Because from here on out, every choice I make, I own.

Because he's a grown up man person.

Because I don't think that's possible.

Because I fully want a play by play.

Because I'll be there at 1:59. Heck yeah.

Because I'm gonna find the perfect hiding spot.

Because I'm white,

Because Indians have occupied the space.

Because it wasn't always like this.

Because it's not a realistic scenario,

Because Sally is eager to get her own land,

Because she's the breadwinner and the kids' favorite.

Because that box was full of spiders.

Because that foam core budget is astronomical.

Because that is America,

Because that's what happened.

Because they are the real heroes.

Because they definitely will.

Because we are just friends.

Because when I see Deirdre,

Because you look like an angel.

Because your décor sucks.

Because, out of the 20 of you,

Been looking forward to this one.

Before I could pick her up that's kidnapping!

Before I sign off, always remember

Before the debate. So shake every hand.

Before they punched me in the face,

Before you had enough confidence

Besides vaping and not throwing away your garbage?

Besides, it actually doesn't look that bad.

Besides, pumpkins are Indigenous,

Besides, you have no idea how much money we have.

Betting, not riding.

Between us and a fiery death.

Between you and I, that guy sucks.

Big Larry's gonna stay right where he is.

Bison jerky I've had in my life.

Bison jerky you've ever had. [laughs]

Bobbie Yang, my former assistant,

Bobbie Yang.

Bobbie, I present to you Rutherford, Inc.

Bobbie, why is that not off?

Bobbie!

Bobbie.

Bobbie's gonna wow the firefighters,

Bobbie's lovely, but with my new job,

Bonnie's such a wealth of knowledge.

Boo berry muffins.

Born and raised in Rutherford Falls.

Both young for our accomplishments.

Both: [chuckle]

Both: [laugh]

Both: * Because I've had the time of my life *

Both: * Now with passion in our eyes *

Both: Same.

Both: We don't.

Both: Whoo!

Bring up the fire chief's views

Buried all her guns.

But adversity makes us stronger.

But after, like, 45 minutes, there's no oxygen

But allow me to stay on it under your terms?

But are we talking ground rule double,

But at this point in my life,

But at this point,

But beneath that is a layer of respect

But Bonnie says that she only wants to talk to me.

But did you hear I'm running for mayor?

But don't dry out.

But either way, I'm rolling.

But for folks like Sally, it's impossible.

But he is not the emergency contact.

But he would have surely lost

But her profile was private.

But here we are. So go ahead.

But how are you feeling about all this?

But humble.

But I actually have to go.

But I am working on Bobbie's campaign.

But I can't get into that right now.

But I can't vote for you here.

But I don't know, this museum is kinda my baby.

But I don't need anything at the gift shop.

But I don't think that's gonna happen for you.

But I feel so alive right now. I know!

But I got to do land stuff.

But I guess it came off as like,

But I hope I also have your vote.

But I might have something that could solve your problems.

But I need the funds to build ten tiny homes

But I really care about her.

But I think every tribal member should be eligible for land,

But I think I've made a mistake.

But I think it's best we drive together.

But I think it's slowly killing me.

But I think you're more than up for the task.

But I want it in the mix.

But I was getting too old to dance,

But I will get it if you really want me to.

But I'll be on a set in New York,

But I'll definitely do it.

But I'm furious about it.

But I'm gonna get my own goddamn land.

But I'm not gonna waste your time with tchotchkes.

But I'm not.

But I'm on my way to getting my own land...

But I've heard rumors it's Garnier...Fructis."

But if dweebs like you are doing it,

But if I don't go...

But if we don't help each other out, who will?

But if you if you don't want

But if you need me to seduce anyone,

But in order to get elected, we need a lot of money,

But in terms of seed money,

But it could have been anything.

But it feels like a moment.

But it feels like it means something,

But it sounds like after these tweaks,

But it wasn't always that way.

But it's complicated, Frank.

But it's just not the same as actually hanging out.

But it's mostly driving.

But it's not catching on.

But it's, like, ugh, you know?

But just trying to support others more,

But like, it it it's good.

But luckily my wife got the collision insurance.

But mainly heroic.

But Nelson is gonna be at the event,

But nervous.

But not fixed enough.

But not today, baby.

But now I know you're just protecting me.

But now you're gonna have a little human to justify it.

But one time when I was in a really tough spot,

But our jurisdiction allows us to cut through all that.

But phase four, subphase nine is where things really heat up.

But sadly, my whole life is this.

But she has to post her neighbor's bail by 2:30.

But she said no. That's why Sacheen did it.

But she was old school, you know?

But she's kind of turned a corner

But she's single. By choice.

But she's still a strong, independent Native woman.

But since then, Nathan's been trying to make things right.

But some dumb time boundary to help us not lose our minds?

But sometimes folks like that can keep you sharp.

But somewhat fixed,

But Terry, I can't take any more information.

But thanks for the talk.

But thanks for this.

But that is exactly the kind of energy

But that was display only, so...

But that was old Nathan.

But that's not you.

But the cash flow is, like, insane.

But the question remains: where's Nathan?

But then, after I bugged her long enough,

But there was just always this kind of raw sexual attraction,

But they made me sign an NDA, and it's pretty airtight.

But they were also clearly damaged.

But they're really just jacked, gentle babies.

But think about my unborn baby starving for smoked gouda.

But this is real impressive. Thank you.

But this motorcycle is freaking awesome!

But this one sounds super important.

But this show is asking for our guidance.

But to be in a mascot costume that looks like

But to his people, those are his grandfathers

But we both know that I can get this town back on track.

But we can reclaim it and make it our own.

But we kept going.

But we need to get back to work

But we need to get you out on the streets

But we're starting to sound like an Adele song.

But what you have done with this cultural center

But whatever just no carnations.

But yes, it is bonker donkers, okay?

But yes, you should start on those first.

But you also light a flame within our hearts and our minds

But you being there really helped.

But you can't hate this contour.

But you got that, right? [sighs]

But you gotta watch the company you keep.

But you know what I mean. I'm familiar with the phrase.

But you know, intention doesn't matter.

But you know, that little oversight

But you may be on to something.

But you must have a binder somewhere

But you see?

But you should come.

But you wouldn't return my calls.

But you're also the type of guy

But you're in this with her.

But you're really in the woods with your pageant friends

But you've always come out on top.

But, hey, we probably were gonna end up living in one of

But, honestly, it all just feels

But, you know, gossip's your people's way.

By 2:00 p.m. sharp?

By entering, you relinquish your rights

By Feather's shenannies

By NPR correspondent Josh Carter,

By presenting as whatever this is.

By Shep Swiftwater, AKA Wyatt Olson.

By sticking you here, which get ready

By stopping by unannounced?

By the way, I thought things were going great with Nelson.

By their region instead of their type.

By Unbiased Undies.

Calibrating chews per bite.

Call time tomorrow at 7:00. 7:00.

Called "Terror in the Family:

Calling and texting.

Calling me Popcorn Guy because of that stupid podcast.

Came down to apply for the co curator position.

Came to my crochet group.

Can be a shining example of achievement.

Can help us all remember to be flexible

Can I get back to you on that?

Can we stop now?

Can you feel the excitement?

Can you hand me the briefcase full of pretzels?

Can you help me fix the cake?

Can you imagine? No more homes.

Can you just let these people hate you for one night

Can you please pick up the tablecloths

Can you, as you pick and choose all the positives of who we are

Can't I just do my thing?

Can't you see?

Candidate Day, you have two minutes to respond.

Carnations?

Chaotic queens on both sides. That's a good start,

Check it out.

Cheers! All right!

Cheers.

Chewy and sitting out for hours.

Chillin', and hang time, and you can't put a price on that.

Chocolate pancakes,

Chugging water to optimize productivity

Close to the production.

Cohabitating and supporting one another.

Cold showers, random sprints,

Colonial themed tourist destination.

Come after you for not choosing them,

Come on, Arnold. Keep up.

Come on, just stick to the plan.

Come on, Trish. You know me.

Come on! Oh, hey.

Come on.

Come to me after you have the land assignment.

Come. Press some flesh, see how it feels.

Coming from a Minishonka deadbeat,

Coming here to do more work.

Compensate for your hopeless mediocrity

Congrats.

Congratulations on your big promotion.

Consider it done. Thank you so much.

Constantly coming on to me, Nathan.

Contingencies for when community members

Controlled burns for centuries?

Convincing folks why you should be mayor.

Cool it with the F bombs.

Cool kids always have plans.

Corey, put the scissors down.

Could be in jeopardy.

Could I have done that as mayor?

Cover your face.

Cradle boards like this one to hold their babies,

Crappy situation

Crawling with other assholes,

Current fashion icon, is running for mayor

Curtis can't handle that.

Curtis is also the oldest.

Curtis!

Cut! Flying in with notes!

Damn it, should I have cleared this with you?

Definitely the name thing.

Deirdre and I are definitely finito.

Deirdre Chisenhall, former mayor.

Deirdre said she doesn't want to be with me.

Did I do something?

Did she OD?

Did we just crack this?

Did you just speak Lakota?

Did you know is in the basement of our high school?

Did you know that Marlon Brando

Did you know that Native Americans used fire

Did you say "asshole"? [chuckles] Yeah.

Didn't even get my GED.

Didn't keep you from barging in today.

Didn't mean I liked it

Dig deep. How are you?

Dirty dancing classes I taught?

Do they even make maternity pant suits?

Do you fathom the harm you cause us?

Do you know a woman named Feather Day?

Do you know how hard it is to find a man with a good job

Do you know how many Native cultures have used

Do you mind [stammers] Oh.

Do you plan to inform him that you're...

Do you realize you are about to

Do you really think it's gonna work?

Do you really want a mayor who is younger than a building?

Do you think a societal reentry is black tie?

Do you think I need to wear a disguise?

Do you think I should do the big apology now

Do you think maybe you could wrangle some folks for me?

Does this need to be heated or...

Doesn't have any updates.

Doing a cultural exchange program

Doing a story on sustainable squid farming.

Doing whippits.

Don't even have a dime to my name.

Don't forget the baby.

Don't get me wrong.

Don't know him. He's Dakota.

Don't worry. I got you.

Down our gullets?

Driving here was literally terrifying.

Each of these items have an energy.

Each one of these ropes represents smoke inhalation.

Effective, but effortless.

Electric shocks and Swiss cheese?

Enjoy your visit.

Especially by the windows.

Especially in a place like this.

Especially since I'm getting her land.

Espionage, blackmail, seduction.

Even if Bobbie beats Feather, without a major influx of cash,

Even the white ones.

Even though Aunt Sue didn't have kids.

Even though I am many drafts away

Even though you're not my assistant anymore?

Eventually, Mark Wahlberg will make some movie

Eventually, maybe when I'm, like, 50.

Every time he's in Italy

Everyone wants to film here,

Everyone will know it's your moment.

Everything I fought for,

Everything okay?

Everything Reagan's fought for, will be at risk.

Exactly how many people have been bugging you

Except for season three of "Adirondack."

Excited,

Excuse me, Rye? Nope.

Explaining that a Native man in 2022

Failed right out of juvie nile hall.

Fattest cheeks you've ever seen so cute.

Fay, take care of her. What?

Fear that I'm gonna be a bad dad.

Fear, I guess.

Feasting on opportunities.

Feather Day will win because she has a great story.

Feather is gonna use every opportunity

Feather sullied my wife's name and her exercise techniques.

Feels kinda murdery.

Feels like Pat Sajak is screaming letters at me.

Figure out a not terrible name,

Fine.

Fire is our relative.

Firefighter calendars are a lie.

First blurt: five part rock opera.

First sessions are free. Generous referral program.

First, we offer them script notes.

Fist bump.

Flapping in the breeze, there, Bill.

Focus less on myself.

Folks, I deserve this.

Follow you online.

For a dozen apple fritters.

For approximately ever.

For Bobbie Yang.

For both our benefits.

For everything you're doing for Deirdre and for me.

For example, um, it's my opinion

For language classes.