The DUFF (2015) Soundboard Edit

A place without labels.

About a month before homecoming.

Acting as, like, the gatekeeper to their better looking friends.

Ah.

All right, deep breath.

All right, well, you held up your end of the bargain,

All right.

And I was all like, Bitch, if I cared what you thought, I'd ask.

And that's definitely mightier than a sword.

And then they just started dancing together.

And, you know, maybe send him an Edible Arrangement

Anyone?

Are you filming me?

Are you twerking?

As in a certain homecoming article that's due.

Because I can't find anything. Do you think short, long?

Because I do not subscribe to the American ideal of feminine beauty.

BIANCA: In the end, it's not about popularity or even getting the guy.

BIANCA: It was becoming harder and harder to deny the truth.

BIANCA: Know how they say The hills have eyes?

BIANCA: Oh, God, even my car's a DUFF.

BIANCA: Oh, God, you always come back with that.

BIANCA: Oh, no. No, no, no.

BIANCA: Oh. Hey oh.

BIANCA: So, yeah, she was a bitch.

BIANCA: Thanks a lot.

BIANCA: That's me.

BIANCA: The vibe. Darker the better.

BIANCA: The world gave me the gift of in visibility,

BIANCA: Yes. All right. Okay.

BIANCA: You bet we are

Boobs look good. New bra?

BOY 1: Thanks. BOY 2: Oh, yeah.

BOY: Yeah, Bianca! Let's get the hell out of here.

BOY: Yeah, Madison. All right

But I'm happy to sit this one out.

But now I just feel bad for you.

But only because you're a dipshit and a man whore.

But to the majority of kids in school,

But tonight, possibly the greatest night of my life,

But, you know, you're wrong, because we all have our insecurities.

Casey Cordero.

CASEY: Ha, ha. He can't even spell.

CASEY: Ugh, they do not clean those mirrors.

Coach says I might get to play some football this year.

Come Monday morning, it's back to reality

Come on in.

Come on, let's go.

Crazy amazing.

Damn.

Don't look at me. Look at me

DOTTIE: Bianca, let's go. You'll be late for school.

Enthalpy, entropy

Excuse me, that is not like us right now.

FILLMORE: Take a seat, Mr. Rush.

GIRL 1: Ouch. I feel bad for Toby

GIRL 2: Thank you.

GIRL: Yeah, that's not me.

Good for you. Good talk. You know what? Get back out there.

Good luck.

Good? Wow, that's really a rave review.

He's going to Ohio State in the fall.

Here we go. Yeah.

Hey, is this seat taken?

Hey, Jeffrey.

Hey, Jess. Hey, Casey. Homecoming tickets?

Hey, there you are.

Hit send, drop.

Hit that... Hit that, uh... That long one in the middle

Ho, ho. Well, that's easy for you to say.

How do we look together? How do we look together?

I can't believe it. Congratulations.

I can't believe you made all this sushi.

I couldn't even look at Jess and Casey, they made me so mad.

I couldn't work up the courage to say three words to Toby.

I don't play favorites, but you're my favorite.

I give you Wesley Rush.

I haven't been kissed in years

I mean, I know you won't believe me, but I was the DUFF out of my friends.

I mean, I've been working on it for a little bit, so...

I mean, it's not like she's gonna say anything to him.

I mean, you got the easy part. You could pass science in your sleep.

I swear, I'm just feeling the pressure.

I wanna make out with your face.

I was cruising the halls with my two best friends.

I would totally bang the shit out of her.

I'm a little chilly, yeah.

I'm just saying, I would never call anyone fat or ugly.

I'm so sorry, Susan. I'll see you tomorrow.

I'm telling you, I'd really lost hope around Guy 17, you know.

I've actually been making a lot of poor choices with my toppings lately.

Inspire us. Remember, the pen is mightier than the sword.

Is what happens in high school is gonna stay with us forever.

Is, uh, gonna be fine for me. It's good.

It's all part of the plan?

It's just...

It's kind of like us right now.

It's kind of nice.

Jess and Casey?

JESS: B, really?

Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle.

Just apologizing profusely

Just let me stay here and lie amongst the pizza a little longer.

Lab partner's got this.

Lighting, dark booth. Got it. What's next?

Like, in Japan, the... You have to go? Okay.

Long day, huh?

Look at me, Toby.

Look, I'm no wine expert, but I'm pretty sure

Look, I'm sorry about Toby

MADISON: Wesley? Agh!

MADISON: What?

Martin Van Buren. Nickelback.

Mm hm.

Mm. Ish.

More kids responded until it just became its own thing

Mr. Sushi?

Next mission is to talk to 15 guys.

No

No one at all? Any takers?

No, literally, three words.

No, no, still worse.

Not a lot of people would have the balls to say all that.

Not all at once.

Note to self.

Now I did.

Off to a nice evening

Oh, he's going to town on me, Toby.

Oh, hell, no.

Oh, my God, of course.

Oh, my God. There it is, there it is. You know what? No, no, no.

Oh, no, heh, not... I'm not going out with Wes.

Oh, perfect. No more of Bianca's almost ironic tweets for the day.

Oh, Toby, don't stop.

Oh, Toby.

Oh, yeah. You got moves.

Oh, you're not the only B in my life. Suck it, science.

Oh.

Okay, bye.

Okay, girl, I know some DUFFs too.

Okay, next up, final assignment, all right?

Okay, you know what?

Ooh. Showtime.

Or Toby. Or anyone, for that matter.

Out where?

Passion plus action...

Pretty much sums it up right there.

Pretty.

Put your arm around me. Whoops.

Really? What kind of light...?

Say when. Say...

Shaw's over. Just Bianca.

Shh.

Shouldn't you be working with a partner?

So here's the song.

So you're an honest dipshit, and that's what counts.

Speaking of stones, rock hard abs.

That is actually incredible.

That no matter what label is thrown your way,

That sounds like an awesome episode of Dateline.

That was an awesome lesson. I'm humiliated

That was Florida. Seems like a long time ago.

That was... Uh, that was practice.

That's probably a good idea.

That's right

The one who doesn't look as good, thus making their friends look better.

The one who's approachable and easy to talk to,

They're pity RTs.

They're sugar free, and I know you're trying to watch that kind of thing

This is a good look.

This is just getting weird now.

Toby, that is unbelievably inappropriate.

Uh, in porn, maybe.

We gotta go. Come on. Let's go, let's go

We just bumped into each other here.

Well, I mean, I'm more of a tongue guy myself, but...

Well, yeah, we're in.

WESLEY: Hey, Billy.

WESLEY: Hey, neighbor. Wesley.

WESLEY: Ow. Hmm.

What did Wes say? That no one's making out if they're three feet apart.

What do you think?

What the shit?

What the...?

What? No, I didn't. I called you the DUFF.

When I told them that you were here,

When you're not overthinking things, actually having some fun.

Why was I Bosley? There were three Angels.

Without making a total ass of myself, okay?

WOMAN: Everyone, get your phones.

WOMAN: I do everything around this house, and you don't do...

Would've been enough to make me hide under my bed.

Yeah, all right.

Yeah, go ahead and check them.

Yeah, it is.

Yeah, like a midget jerking it. Meow, meow, meow meow.

Yeah, no shit, it's not

Yeah.

Yeah. I actually kind of feel nervous about it

You could only be a jock, a geek,

You do. Come on.

You get a shot of the desserts? Jess, hair's looking good.

You gotta lighten up, and you're gonna have to trust me.

You hungry? I'm hungry

You know, you'd be bringing me a pizza

You look beautiful.

You said I could use it.

You talk about my son one more ******* time.

You've got to be kidding me.

All right, well... BIANCA: Okay.

Aren't you? Heh. Well, irregardless...

Dad, 17 pa... But it article we need.

Hey. Now, that's a classic look

I hate you. No, you look adorable.

I'm so proud of you. Good job. Ah

Is he sitting close? I don't know...

It was all so easy for Wes. Ha, ha

Look, Bianca, I've tried to be nice. BIANCA: Have you?

Maybe we'll accidentally touch knees

Mm. And dancer.

Mom. Sorry

Nerd ass. Okay, no. Didn't need...

No, no one wants that. WESLEY: Graze them.

Oh, man, you're so good. Thank you so much.

Okay. BIANCA: I need to talk to you.

Party pooper. No, no, guys, I don't dance.

seeing you here. Hey.

Seven o'clock? Yes, 7 is good.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Um... Wow, um...

What are you doing? I just have to...

What do you think? Hey, look at those.

You laughed. You did laugh. I had a small stroke.

You wanna know why? Yeah.

[BELL RINGS]

[BELL RINGS]

[BELL RINGS]

[BELL RINGS]

[BIANCA SCOFFS]

[BOTH MOANING]

[CELL PHONE CHIMES]

[CELL PHONES RINGING AND BUZZING]

[COMPUTER BEEPING]

[CREW LAUGHING]

[CREW LAUGHING]

[CROWD LAUGHING]

[GRUNTS]

[IN BRITISH ACCENT] turn it up to 11

[IN MONSTER VOICE] Bianca kiss Wes now?

[IN NORMAL VOICE] I wanna be your wife

[IN SLOW MOTION] Don't stop.

[LAUGHS]

[MADISON LAUGHING]

[SINGING] Let you get away