Not Another Teen Movie (2001) Soundboard Edit

A whore who lacks any real long term goals?

Aim for the head!

Ain't nobody gonna break my stride. Ain't nobody gonna slow me down.

Ain't that right, Sausage?

All I said was:

All red Porsche 944s parked in the white zone will be towed immediately.

And all I wanted was a little Betsy Wetsy doll.

And for once..

And if Jake likes you...

And now the moment every popular guy who's made a bet...

Anorexic, superficial?

Answer my question! Can he play?

Anybody that disobeyed the coach and the team..

Bling bling

Bye, pumpkin head.

Can I ask you a question?

Cock? I've never even been kissed

Come on, dog!

Come on, Reggie Ray, get up!

Congratulations to the men and women nominated forprom queen.

Cooking and cleaning and breast feeding Mitch

Damn, those bitches represent!

Do I know you?

Especially after you've packed on a couple of pounds.

Excuse me, Bruce? No. You don't bonk Amanda Becker.

Friday night I stood outside your window in the rain...

Friday's championship game is against North Compton...

Gentlemen..

Get out of the road!

Give me a giant pussy licking, ass fucker cock shit!

Goddamn!

Guys, get your heads out of the gutter.

He can't breathe. Get him to a hospital

Hey, I'm a complete stranger.

Hey, Ricky. How was your weekend?

His name is Blane. He's a senior. He's so beautiful.

Hold her down.

Holy cow.

Holy shit, this motherfucker's heavy.

I can't have sex before you.

I come to school to be object of lust..

I don't want to make a big deal of it..

I feel better.

I got to go back out on the field

I impart knowledge and help overcome fears

I left some money on the kitchen counter.

I love following Janey to the mall

I need sunscreen

I never said anything about a bet

I read Sylvia Plath, listen to Bikini Kill and eat tofu.

I sense the morale's a little low. I say we make a pact...

I totally heard that

I'll bet you lose that bet...

I'll pick the most hopeless girl at this school..

I'm going out there

I'm going to go fuck a complete stranger

I'm here to help you get your throw back

I'm not going to let you go to Paris

I'm not ordinary.

I'm Sandy Sue

I'm Sandy Sue. It is simply swell to meet all of you.

I've been doing a lot of thinking...

Ice dispenser

In life, that is.

Is something wrong? You were quiet at dinner.

It made sense to me, Priscilla.

It would be an honor and a privilege

It's funny

It's not a sundae, it's a banana split.

It's whack

Jake, I need some T to the fourth power Y

Janey Briggs..

Janey, I just thought..

Janey, you know Dad's rule.

Janey, you said you couldn't believe in someone that didn't believe in you.

Just believe in the ball, Jake. And throw yourself.

Keep dreaming.

Look, I made a mistake

Look, sweetie.

Marty!

Mitch, cut it out.

Molly, can you help me take off my panties?

My bad, man.

My parents give a scholarship to girls who can't get into art school

New girl.

Next stop, airport.

Nice comeback, Priscilla! Yeah!

No, actually, l..

No, not at all. Masturbation's very healthy.

No.

Oh, my God, it's Jake.

Okay, it was. But you got to get over it

Okay, now close your eyes and wet your lips.

Okay. Bye, Daddy.

On their chest.

Only this time, I'm gonna stick my tongue in your mouth

Past the ice dispenser. Hit the Pepsi machine, you went too far

Priscilla, there you are.

Prom tonight

Really? That's amazing

Right. Forget what I said

See, I don't like making big speeches

Set! Hut!

She'll cheer do. Great.

So I told her, "Take the old lady and send your mama back."

Thanks, Miss Peters.

That clearly includes you. Come on, get back there

That really upsets me

That's another one!

That's going to stain

That's the fastest half of football ever.

That's the spirit! Ready?

The John Hughes Wasps take on the North Compton Wildcats

The red zone is for the loading and unloading ofpassengers

The right moment.

The thing is, when I made that bet...

There we go! Your king and queen.

There's a hole in the side of your house

There's no way she could be prom queen.

They're your only friends for the next four years.

This isn't a typical high school.

Trust me.

We shake ourbooty and show it

We're pathetic

We've disgraced ourselves and our families.

Well, so do I

What about fourth string? I didn't get to practice.

What about your head? You have a blood clot the size of a g****fruit.

What are you doing? Over here!

What do you mean?

What happening?

What the hell are you doing here?

What was that?

Who told you that? Alison?

Why's this door locked? It's a fire hazard!

Would the whole otherperson...

Yes

You all right?

You also put the "brat" in "bratwurst

You call this a party?!

You can do it.

You got butterflies, huh?

You still have another concussion!

You touch her gently

You're leaving me for this guy?

You're our only chance!

You're the only one who can help trick Janey into liking me.

Your modern, moronic, feeble minded, sophomoric excuse for wit...

Another one. So?

He's a famous clown. Bobo.

Hi, stud. Hi, Jake.

Holy shit! Oh, my God.

I visit grandfather. I played with my sisters

I'd do them! I know, Reggie Ray.

I'm not sure we should be doing this. Quiet. I hear them.

Morning, sweetie! Daddy!

My eyes were shut. And we couldn't even..

Oh, my God! Get out of the road!

Oh, my God! They deserve it

Reggie Ray. I smell a bet.

SeÚorYou Blew My Perfect Season. What do you want, Austin?

Two dollars! Two dollars!

You got your schedule? I don't need it.

..

..

...but learn a much more valuable lesson, and win.

...departing from gate 122.

...first string quarterback, Jake Wyler!

...is merely a parade of nasty..

...l've been desperately trying to tell you that...

...rests in the hands of fourth string quarterback Jake Wyler.

...revealing a secret and confirming everything I whispered in your ear."

...right here, right now.

...screaming your name.

...than it is in here.

...that's heroic.

...who would like to share their poem with the class?

"I'm pretending to whisper...