Max and Paddy's Road To Nowhere Edit

And what's that supposed to mean?

Arming the Invader

Bit of manners cost nothing

Bollocks

Bottled in the mountains of Afghanistan? I bet Osama's had a bath in that

Car alarm sound

Checkout supervisor, really?

Come ere

Come ere!

Come here, I'll rip your bastard head off! Paddy has needs!

Do we?

Get back you bastard, I'll break yer legs!

Get that fucking cooker on!

Good morning anals! Good morning Charlie

Have you got any of them big tellies?

Have you got any plasma screens?

He's a case isn't he? Crackers that lad

Hello boys!

Hey

Hey hey hey hey, yeah?

Ho ho ho

How dare you?

How dare you?

How dare you?

I am not watching Charlie's Anals like that

I like a girl with special needs

I like to think of myself as a bit of a romantic

I've got a beautiful 22" Futaba back there

In a nutshell, you stink

It is now alarmed, and any exterior force will trigger it

It's like living with a bloody woman

No wonder we're eating Big Bob's Bastard Beans

Oh aye, we've got to get a bit of porn on that for the lads

Oh Jesus no

Oh no, I don't mean a girl with special needs

Oh yeah

Oh yes here we go, Ding Dang Do

Oh yes, the old shore leave, batten down the hatches and all that

Oh you're on your arse!

Pleasures of the flesh Max!

Smell of perfume wafting over the nostrils, feel of bare skin against your teeth

Speaking of arses

That's the thing, I can't. Well, I can and I can't

The difference between the Invader 2000 and any other bog standard security systems, is that you've got the facility to record and personalise your alarm

This is the front room, that's my room. Tour over

Um

Want to give her a go?

Well let's go out dressed as a couple of Nazis then, see how far we get

What we need is a bit of fun and games, ho ho ho

What we're watching won't be for the families my friend, do you know what I'm saying, two grown men away from home, ho ho ho

What's that?

Why do you keep buying cheap crap? Bloody 4p means and Al Qaeda water.

You can forget that

You what?