Phoenix Nights Soundboard Edit

And neither do I

Are my eyes dreaming Jerry, or have you got two of my builders singing acapulco

Can you hear me now?

Can you hear me now?

Can you turn your mobile off please love?

Car Alarm

Come on, stop crapping and get cracking

Evening girls, want to have a look into my crystal balls?

Fart

Get back you bastard, I'll break your legs

God loves you Brian. Does he? He's a funny way of showing it

Goodnight

Hear you, I can see you, you dick

Hello?

Ho ho

I don't take none of that shit love, and neither will you if you know what's good for you. My body's a temple

I ordered The Matrix, I didn't order Das Boot

In Scotland, today?

Interfering with dogs

Intro music

Is it me, or do all pensioners stink of piss?

Leave it!

Let us out, let us out we're burning, argh!

Lonely this Christmas? It's singles night tonight, here at the Phoenix Club, where you could meet the love of your life

Oh

Oh me angina

Rave on, y'all

Shut up you girl

Smoke kills in seconds, fire kills in minutes

Sod off

Stick it in front room, impress your friends

Stranraer

Stranraer

Stranraer!

Stranraer!

Sweet baby Jesus and the orphans

That is why we've got to catch the cows by the horns, and pull together. I want everything shit-shaped and Bristol-fashion. And spread the word, because the Phoenix is rising

That's fantastic that, special that isn't it

That's not the kind of diving I'll be doing

The flavoured condom machine is restocked and ready for action

This is Sergeant Patterson. I'm ringing regarding a break-in.

What the hell's going on?

Where?

Who is this?

Would you suck a ten year old banana?

You go, I'm not going up there

You're killing me!

You're listening to Chorley FM, I'm Paul LeRoy, coming in your ears, and this is Yaz, and she's going up

[Car alarm]