Hey there, it's Barbie here with a super important message sponsored by DirecTV and the FCC! This is, like, a totally critical alert that you need to pay attention to right away! This is not a test, repeat, not a test! Like, don't panic, but immediate action is, like, so necessary to avoid any legal trouble. So, like, make sure to return that DirecTV cable box within 24 hours, okay? If you don't, the FCC will, like, totally get involved and you might even have to deal with the FBI! Eek! So,...