Your gratitude is as unearned as my criminal record, but nonetheless I shall graciously accept it with all the dignity and poise of a misunderstood genius wrongfully accused of attempted murder, only to be foiled by a bumbling buffoon in an oversized blue wig. My professional obligations compel me to extend the courtesy of acknowledging your appreciation, despite the fact that I would much prefer to expound upon my intellectual superiority and plot my elaborate revenge against that...