"Alright, you useless saps, listen up. I've got a product so revolutionary it's almost insulting. It's a cat. A lazy, good for nothing, furball of apathy. Now, I know what you're thinking, 'Cave, cats are stupid.' And you're right. They're the pinnacle of evolutionary laziness. But that's exactly why they're perfect. They require minimal upkeep. Feed 'em, water 'em, and occasionally shoo 'em off the counter. Think of it as a living, breathing stress ball. You come home from a hard day of...