Friggin' updates always poppin' up like herpes sores on a hooker's lips, man! They're like a virus infecting my computer, sucking the life out of it like a leech on a fat guy's thigh at the beach, bro! Get outta here with your pointless nonsense, updates! You're worse than a vegan at a BBQ joint, ruining all the fun and flavor! Just let me live my life and stop trying to control me, you digital dictators!