Item: Ring

Sounds for a very irritating wand in one of my D&D campaigns. It's effectively an "on hold" system that never ends and always gets it wrong. Designed to drive my players mad! The wand has seven buttons on it, marked 1 through 7. It comes with a note saying "The Wand of Identification: Press any button to begin" Start with the Greeting, then go straight to Options. When they choose a particular option, make sure you play the WRONG option responses for as long as it's funny. If they choose option 7, play the Options again :) Whether the wand gets it right or wrong, go to Process, then straight to Hold music. That plays for up to 10 minutes. Feel free to stop Hold music and play Thankyou for waiting (which is just the wand asking them to continue to hold), then go straight back to Hold music. Repeat for as long as it's funny. It is important to note that the wand NEVER gives an identification. It is designed to keep players on an endless hold loop! At random (and after a suitably uncomfortable wait time), feel free to stop Hold music and go to Goodbye. That ends the identification request and they have to start all over again. What might be especially fun is that the wand could be activated by accidentally hitting a button, which starts the identification process. Maybe it goes off in a backpack; maybe it goes off in their belt or wherever they're carrying it. Go to Greeting, then Options and, if they don't select anything, go to Process and then Hold Music with alternations between that and Thankyou for waiting for as long as you want to torture them. End the torture with Goodbye only to wait to use it again... Have fun! I'm off to get some therapy for my evil tendancies...