Howard the Duck (1986) Soundboard Edit

All nice! Going up!

All the phonies and the fakers...

Almost finished.

Alright!

Although...

And I want the girls' money!

And what is reality on any one world is mere fantasy on all others

Anyway, where will it all lead? Marriage? Kids?

Are you ready for an incredible story?

Attention, all personnel, please leave the station...

Banzai!

Because he's one of the Dark Overlords of the universe.

Beverly, I'll find you!

Beverly, I'm coming to get you, sweetheart!

Beverly?

Book him, ducko!

But tonight I am getting concrete evidence about how you got here

Call somebody else! They're gonna hurt Howard.

Carter, call Larry have him set up the initiation procedure.

Casey, did you hear something?

Come here, snot nose!

Come on, Philsey! Hit it harder!

Come on! Hurry! Come on!

Come on! Let's get out of here!

Come on.

Creepy little dude.

Damn it! I can't sit here on my tail feathers feeling sorry for myself.

Did you get the birthday sweater we sent?

Did you make him say that, jerk off?

Doll, I don't drink out of bowls. You got a beer?

Don't mind me

Ducky, this is what you wanted. You're going home.

During the explosion I entered Jenning's body.

Follow them! Bring them down and bring them back!

Forecasting our week of fair weather for you duck hunters...

Freeze!

Full throttle! Full throttle!

Get off me!

Get them!

Give me a shout, buddy. Bye bye

Give me four!

Go, Howard, go!

God, get a grip!

Going somewhere, Howard?

He was pre activating the laser spectra scope.

Help somebody, help! Help!

Here, all is real and all is illusion.

Hey Bender, go on in, Frankenweed. We finally found you a date.

Hey Blumburtt? Blumburtt?

Hey, have a heart. Seeing eye duck.

Hey, hey, different life styles is one thing, different life forms is another.

Hey, what's going on out there now?

Hey! Hey you, pull over here!

Hi, I'm Beverly.

Hi, it's Wendy. I had this really intense dream last night, Howie.

Hit a purple "A" for you all

Honey, I love you! I love you! Come on!

How's the world been treating you?

Howard, get down from there!

Howard, in pre historic times you flew.

Howard, it's okay. Are you all right?

Howard, pull it up!

Howard, pull up! Pull up!

Howard, step on the brake! Step on the brake!

Howard, we are on our way to the Science Hall of Fame

Howard, where are you going?

Howard, you really are the worst.

Howard!

Howard!

Howard!

Howard!

Howard!

Howard!

Howard!

Howard?

I can't get up!

I don't know where you are now...

I leave that creepy little dude in here to clean this place up...

I meet somebody in a pretty weird predicament and I was trying to help

I think the suspect's stuff is like inboard, sir.

I want that duck! Dead or alive!

I was running my fingers through your feathers, and all of a sudden...

I'm about to unravel the mystery of your arrival!

I'm just kidding, big guy.

I'm not in a real good mood tonight, Ginger.

I'm right here. Beverly, I'm yours after the show. Alright.

I'm sorry, I guess I should thank you for chasing those guys off.

I'm sorry!

I'm such a lucky girl.

I've been working on the mystery of your arrival.

I've had enough! I wanna see my lawyer

If God intended us to fly, he wouldn't have taken away our wings.

If I had someplace to go, I certainly wouldn't be in Cleveland.

Is he okay?

Is that hot enough for you?

It exploded again! It was terrible!

It was all a pipe dream

It's cheap. The manager of my band found it for me.

It's in there! It's a... it's...

It's like a bad trip. I mean, talk about an identity crisis

It's my fault I gotta shoplift at the little tyke section of goodwill?

Jimmy, you okay?

Just as you were brought down here accidentally.

Let me out of here.

Let's go for it, Mr. Macho

Let's go! Come on! Go, go!

Like they say, doll, love's strange. We could always give it a try.

Listen, I'm pretty tired.

Look out!

Look out!

Look, I'm gonna put on these Polaroids that we took at the Club.

Look, it's just a temporary job until I finish school and get my own museum.

More energy!

My continuing streak of bad luck?

No, Howard, don't!

No, no, don't shoot! I'm an innocent hostage!

No, no!

No, wait!

No!

No!

No!

No... Give me a break.

Not bad for a duck from outer space.

Now it's my turn.

Oh boy, defense research! This is it! This is it! This is locked!

Oh my God!

Oh no, it's a quake!

Oh no!

Oh no...

Oh yeah? Your nightmare or mine?

Oh, boy! Oh, boy!

Okay..

One minute, thirty seconds to arrival.

One, two, three, four!

Phil, Phil

Philsey, do you realize I could have been killed up there?

Philsey, this is no time for water sports.

Please watch your step.

Please, scum, let me go!

Power.

Prepare to eat beak!

Puny little duck!

Put him down!

Relax, Howard, I almost got it!

Relax, I'll just throttle this baby back.

Right!

Right! Well, who needs you?

Right.

Right. Good as done, Dr. Chapin.

Right. I'll sneak up on him and then I'll blast him!

Security!

Shoot to kill!

Sir!

Small universe...

So, I guess I better be going.

Targeting is in process.

Thank you.

Thanks again.

Thanks. These'll help...

That monster's shape I saw.

That was a lot of fun. I'd like to get off now.

That's me!

That's right, space rabies! Yeah, one bite...

The pain

The suspect is three foot one inches tall

There will be no escape!

They send me all the psycho cases. All the misfits.

This is amazing. Man's oldest fantasy.

This is unreal. I mean, it can't be.

This is why I hate the night shift.

This one's for you, cracker!

This world didn't treat you very good...

Three minutes, thirty seconds to arrival.

Towels, lotion?

Up and away!

Up, Howard!

Up!

Wait a second.

Way to go!

We gotta get outta here!

We have no right to tamper with the universe

We'll be home all weekend. Bye

We'll find it! Come on, Philsey!

We're rounding up all the scientists for you in the lab, sir..

Well, alright, I'd like to dedicate this song to our new manager!

Well, we'll stop at a bathroom, huh?

What are you gonna fight him with? We gotta find some kind of... Wait!

What I don't know is what the hell I'm doing here!

What?

What? You got rid of Ginger?

What's going on here?

What's wrong?

Who's Howard?

Yeah, it certainly is when you're out on the highway.

Yeah, sit down.

Yeah, what an awful thing to happen.

Yeah!

Yeah? What if I don't?

Yeah.

Yes, you are.

Yes!

Yo, how weird.

You are gonna go play sitting duck in a jail cell.

You don't scare me!

You killed him! You killed him!

You know, the guys who discovered that Aztecs came from Mars?

You little wise pecker! Arrivederci, duck!

You see the bottom of the spectra scope blew it to the wall...

You're breaking my fingers!

You're gonna get up there and fix this lawn mower now!

You're gonna get us killed.

You're not getting away now, you stinking little bird!

Yuck!

... cleaning up their little poo poos. I'll try to be careful.

... from monkey, to me, for instance. You consider that progress?

Big one... I'm sorry, I'm so nervous

Bulletin right now. Yes, sir!

Bye now. Could I have your autograph on my shirt?

Cops, Philsey! 180, Howard.

Damage report, Philsey! Fuel hose is busted!

Damn it, that was too close! I'm just learning here!

Don't try anything! Don't go snot nose on us

Dr. Jenning? What?

Duck hunting? The Live Wild Commission...

Duck! And proud of it!

Get them a banana. Hide him! Take him to a movie!

Good. Howard!

Hello. ... Duck?

Here's the money for the girls. I'll make sure they get it.

Hey, stop manhandling him! Hey, you can't come in here.

Hi ducky. Hi toots.

Howard, Howard. Help me out! Yeah?

Howard! Beverly!

I didn't know where else to go for help. Inside, Blumburtt.

I need your body. Creep, I've heard that one before!

I'm flying blind here. Shut up! You're not flying at all!

I'm gonna kill somebody. It's okay, Howard.

I'm on top of it! Good.

I've got a headache. And I've got the aspirin.

It is time now. What's that?

It... Yeah, I'm very attached to him.

It'll be dawn soon. Hey, let's steal a cop car.

It's not doing anything. Cops!

Leave me alone! What?

Mr. Duck, you're wonderful. Yeah...

No wings. Welcome to the club.

No, don't shoot. We give up!

No, we're doing... What's in the bag?

No! On my planet, we never say die...

Not my shorts! Why not?

Now look at that! Right pedal! Right pedal!

Oh, yeah? What about? About when they can rev up that machine...

Philsey, get back up here! I'm trying!

Philsey, how's it going? I'm getting close.

Philsey! I better tell you now. What?

Poor girl. Listen... Dr. J

Ronette, could you shut this boy up? Howard...

She took my eggs! One special!

That is really cool. Right. Hold it!

The brake! Push, Beverly, push! I'm trying!

There's cops everywhere! Not in the air, Howard! Up, up!

There's no escape. Philsey! Dr

They get the point, Jenning! Get out of the way!

This is our only chance! Get outta there.

Time out! We surrender

Touch down! Great landing, Howard...

We're your biggest fans

Welcome back, Philsey! Thanks, it's great to be back, Howard!

What about me? The Dark Overlord is still here.

What happened? How the hell did you do that?

What is that thing? That's a duck, man!

What is that? That's a duck...

What? Don't move! Don't breathe!

What? I mean, I believe...

What? Yeah, gotta help Howard! We gotta help!

What's this in my bag? Souvenirs..

What's wrong with me? Well, what did you have for lunch?

Where's the code key? It's closing time!

Yeah. Right

You got it! Ritchie!

You leave him alone! Let me through!

You think that's funny, Jenning? I'm not Jenning any more.

You... Toro, toro! Olé!

You're a dead duck! Hey!

You're in big trouble now! Shut up!

Your order is ready. Are you gonna just sit there?

..."in the beginning there was...

...and I discovered an ancient race of large ducks worshipped by...

...and I will be the cause of it

...and I'll show you what really happened next

...and there's symposiums to give, lecture tours

...arrival.

...but this isn't gonna get us to the lab.

...has actually doubled the limit of ducks that can be shot.

...I'd only have the old standard worry left

...if subject has any abilities we don't have on Earth, any...

...is Howard's world. Picture it in your mind.

...three, two, one...

...was developed for the Army until he cost overance...

...while laser doors are opening.

...who think that by traipsing in here looking outlandish...

...you're never gonna find a job and just go on collecting unemployment...

...you're the one and only thing that's making it very hard for me to leave.

$79.95? Forget it!