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Close Enough (2020) - Season 1 Close Enough is a hilarious animated television show that first premiered in 2020. Created

Close Enough (2020) - Season 1

Close Enough is a hilarious animated television show that first premiered in 2020. Created by J.G. Quintel, the mastermind behind the popular series Regular Show, Close Enough follows the lives of a young couple and their daughter as they navigate the hilarity and challenges of adulting while trying to hold onto their youth and freedom. The show beautifully captures the essence of young adulthood and the struggles of finding "the balance" between being responsible parents and still wanting to have fun.

The cast of Close Enough is truly talented, bringing the animated characters to life with their incredible vocal performances. The main cast includes J.G. Quintel himself, who provides the voice for Josh, the protagonist of the show. Gabrielle Walsh lends her voice to Emily, Josh's wife, and Jason Mantzoukas gives life to the eccentric Alex, Josh's best friend and roommate. Additionally, Kimiko Glenn portrays Bridgette, the couple's quirky roommate, while Jessica DiCicco voices Candice, the couple's daughter. The entire cast does an excellent job of capturing the wit and charm of their characters, making Close Enough a delight to watch.

What sets Close Enough apart from other animated shows is its ability to seamlessly blend sitcom humor with fantastical and absurd elements. Each episode is filled with hilarious and relatable scenarios that young adults face on a daily basis, from dealing with annoying neighbors to navigating the challenges of working from home. However, it takes it a step further by incorporating surreal situations, such as time-traveling pterodactyls or clones gone wrong. This unique blend of real-life experiences and extraordinary events creates a truly entertaining and captivating viewing experience.

One of the standout aspects of Close Enough is its brilliant writing. The show expertly tackles various contemporary issues such as relationships, career aspirations, and the struggles of parenting while infusing each episode with clever jokes and witty banter. The writing showcases J.G. Quintel's talent for crafting entertaining storylines with heartwarming moments. The combination of relatable situations and comedic genius makes Close Enough a show that appeals to viewers of all ages.

The animation style of Close Enough is reminiscent of Quintel's previous work on Regular Show. The characters are fluidly designed and visually appealing, while the vibrant color palette adds to the overall liveliness of the show. The animation perfectly complements the fast-paced and energetic nature of the storytelling, making every scene visually engaging.

Close Enough also has a killer soundtrack that perfectly complements the on-screen antics. Its catchy tunes and upbeat melodies add an extra layer of enjoyment to the show. Luckily, you can easily play and download the sounds of Close Enough online, which allows fans to relive their favorite moments and enjoy the music long after watching the show.

In conclusion, Close Enough is a must-watch animated series that beautifully captures the joys and struggles of young adulthood. With its talented cast, clever writing, and unique blend of humor and absurdity, the show offers a refreshing and entertaining experience for viewers. Whether you're a fan of J.G. Quintel's previous work or simply looking for a new animated comedy, Close Enough is sure to leave you laughing and eagerly waiting for more.

A Are you... Oh!
A big Food Corps community garden project,
A Clooney vibe here?
A family bike! Emily!
A few quick questions before you go.
A glow stick, maybe?
A happy family like yours must have lots of visitors.
A hot date? What?
A literary agent said that he'd read "Future Viking 3030,"
A new bike! Cool!
A prepo what? [ Buzzer sounds ]
A quick brain scan told me that she was annoying.
A serving wrench, just like in "Cable Guy".
A ta dow done list. Where's my list?!
A toilet plugs into the sewer system,
A van with a dog's head?
A word from our sponsors.
A young thing.
A, B, C, D, E, F, G. D...
Aaaaaaaaaah!
Aaaaaaah! Ungh! Aaaaaaaaaah!
Aaaaah!
Aaaah!
Aaaand this parent teacher meeting is done.
Aaah! [ Glass shatters ]
Aaah! Ugh!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah! [ Crowd gasps ]
Aah! [ Gunshots ]
Aah! Aah!
Aah! Aah!
Aah! Aah! Oh! Fly higher!
Aah! Ah, no, no.
Aah! Candice, be careful!
Aah! Creepy giant snail!
Aah! Do you know what this means?
Aah! I just wanted a Gotye parody!
Aah! Me daughter teacher?
Aah! My T zone!
Aah! Oh, geez!
Aah! Oh, my gosh. So, the robots enslaved you, too?
Aah! Stupid game!
Aah! Ugh!
Aah! Ugh!
Aah! Ugh!
Aah! Uh oh.
Aahh!
About Candice. About each other.
About the greatest widow maker of all Zeus!
About whether you care if I stay at this school or not.
Acquisition of child, and may cause anal leakage.
Across the street?
Act? I'm nice. I'm a nice guy.
Acting, better Ugh!
Actually, don't answer.
Actually, I need to get back to...
Actually, me name Tory.
Actually, no. I can't be in that early.
After keeping our security deposit.
After them!
Again, I'm not so into hiking.
Aggression is natural. You just got to get it out.
Agh!
Ah, Bridgette, I am so proud of
Ah, come on, man! Nerd?
Ah, cool.
Ah, do you make any references past 1998?
Ah, geez.
Ah, no matter, I'm password protected.
Ah, room parent stuff.
Ah, thank God.
Ah, yeah, that's the stuff.
Ah, you really get me, Dog Boy.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah! A surprising love
Ah! Dude, is this milk?!
Ah! Dude, is this milk?!
Ah! Not sexy, not sexy!
Ah! Oh, sorry.
Ah! People make too big a deal about test scores.
Ah! That should be enough.
Ah.
Ah.
Ahh, it is so cram jammed.
Ahh!
Ahh!
Ahh! Oh, my God! I'm so sorry!
Ahhh.
Ahhhh, the Calabasas Urology Center.
Ahhhh!
Ahhhhh! Please don't murder us!
Alex and Cameron: Especially because
Alex and I had better production value
Alex was taking up the whole living room.
Alex, what are you doing?
Alex, what we have is nice, but...
Alex: "Mother's End Home Of The Secret Nudist Temple
Alex: "The Joys of Almost Dying"?
Alex: Ahh! Thanks for introducing me to your friend.
Alex: But every time that boulder got to the top of the mountain,
Alex: I remember Blockbuster Video!
Alex: Look at these smartphone idiots.
Alex: Okay, so the circus was in town last week,
Alex: So, Icarus took the handmade wings
Alex: We saw a guy get killed tonight.
Alexi good character with much to live for.
All [ chanting ]: Hot and Hard! Hot and Hard!
All because you lost your spark.
All he cares about is his book and...
All he ever did was point at his watch angrily.
All I can say is that when we thought
All I could think about was that I'd never see you again.
All kids get sick. You just clean it up.
All levels are complete.
All right Candice, this guy right here is Teddy Ruxpin.
All right, Candice, you ready to go in?
All right, Candice. Choose wisely.
All righty then!
All righty then.
All thanks to Candice's mom.
All to ourselves.
All your sweet little asses.
All: Aah! [ Gasps ]
All: Bye, Dog Boy!
All: Nice!
All: Surpri Oh.
All: Ta da!
Almost as soft as the llama I met hiking Machu Picchu.
Alright, I'm just gonna go over here
Also, at home, my kids write on the walls with shit.
Also, for an extra $50, I can make a custom design!
Also, I let Mia drink beer.
Also, I've got a lot of credit card debt now,
Also, Medieval Times is not historically accurate.
Always happens...
Am I crazy, or do those kids look just like me?
Am I just drunk or is that the sounds of evil robot drones?
Am I right, buddy?
Amazing. I'm only feeding her superfoods.
America is so cool.
America's only respected comedy songwriter...
An at home cation.
An opportunity.
An orphan, what?
An unboxing video, Candice?
And a bucket of hummus.
And a kid! And a husband!
And a wormhole to another dimension?!
And after that, I sharpen a narwhal tusk,
And all we ask for in exchange
And as many shifts as you can give me.
And became heli rich.
And by the way...
And decides not to press charges,
And Delicious Little Sex Boy.
And do something for Candice.
And doing the 'do!
And each student will present their patches to the class
And even though you're retired,
And everyone'll think I'm just some dumb Josh!
And for me I stole this from UCLA before I got fired.
And get in the shell?
And give each other nicknames, like Nik Nak
And go!
And guess whose buttholes
And have them on my desk ASAP. Mini tuxes?
And he changed his class to Stunting Through History
And he hopes you find happiness.
And he literally shit all over it.
And he said, "Wait for it."
And he's totally a human boy.
And I Wait, get off from what?
And I am totally going to focus!
And I brought you some carnitas tacos.
And I can't find any plugs.
And I can't throw it away because I feel bad for it.
And I definitely know what those are.
And I do not want to go back to the dark ages.
And I don't throw that stuff around easily.
And I don't usually like being that harsh.
And I got myself something, too.
And I got steak shaped like sushi.
And I hate to say it, but there's nothing wrong with you.
And I love you like a half sister!
And I made a little deposit at Balls Fargo.
And I met some clowns who never back down from a bet.
And I met some clowns who never back down from a bet.
And I need another drink.
And I need my job back
And I need your help.
And I remember your need for approval from female randos!
And I shall dip them by mine self!
And I signed her up for a lesson.
And I think family gets in the way!
And I want to masturbate alone.
And I want to send it to him by the end of the day
And I was wondering if I could borrow that hat again?
And I will be there for you!
And I would have gotten away with it,
And I'd brag about it to my friends.
And I'm going to make a fortune off the backs of these hybrids.
And I'm in way over my head at the dinner,
And I'm not married anymore!
And I'm not saying it 'cause you're "Mexican,"
And I'm trying to be a different type of dad for Candice.
And I've not even been there.
And I've ruined everything for Emily and Bridgette.
And in return, you give me a free pass to...
And in return, you give me a free pass to...
And initial here acknowledging that you will shit your pants.
And it seems fun. Check out this swag.
And it takes a wolf to catch a wolf.
And it's all gonna happen tonight, right, Emily?
And it's amazing!
And it's humiliating.
And it's not derogatory! Aah!
And Josh is hanging out with some dog, so let's do this!
And Josh was so determined to be a responsible adult
And just jump on my parents' insurance.
And look at you, aging rapidly with every disgusting tip of it.
And mine doesn't get us anything.
And Mr. Num Num.
And now because you got an incorrect answer,
And now Candice will be an orphan,
And now we finally got you
And now we vacation with them in Cabo.
And occasionally sexting him forever.
And other dogs' buttholes.
And over there we have
And parents, so don't be late! [ Slurps ]
And raise money for new playground equipment.
And she thought she was gonna turn into a werewolf.
And so on.
And that's how I climbed Machu Picchu.
And that's okay. We've got new tastes.
And that's why adultery is my favorite reason
And that's why I think Best Picture might go to
And that's why I want you to be the face of Forever 23.
And that's why you can't help
And the best part is, you'll get out of the house
And the cycle of capitalism continues.
And the whole point was to spend more time with Can them.
And their kids are top of the class.
And then stumble into Brite Spot at dawn
And there is one last thing before I let you go,
And these are my friends Walleye, Tilapia,
And they can just murder me.
And they managed to get Candice off to school,
And they will be glorious.
And they're gonna have gross hot divorce sex.
And this dude is getting a TV installed on his yacht?
And this evil Goosh bag
And this is what you're gonna do with it?
And this little guy over here is your vas deferens.
And thought we could try it.
And Trish. Hi, nice to meet you, Emily.
And unless Bush Guy wakes up
And use the blood to summon the demon song god
And watch "The Great British Bake Off"!
And watch the hops 24/7.
And we all agreed to make Josh...
And we live with a divorced couple in a cramped apartment,
And we're gonna be stuck here with shitty jobs
And we're not even trying to make them look like hot dogs.
And we're not kids, and we're not British!
And we're only interested in that 23 life.
And we've never met our dad. He was just a sperm donor.
And weekends at my dad's.
And who is that guy that keeps calling you "hon"?
And why are we on La Z Boy chairs?
And why can't I go to it?
And why do I love this water?
And why does the girl call you "Mom"?
And won't stop bragging about Macho Pecho.
And write songs like we used to.
And yet you still chose to break our deal.
And you are!
And you know what else?
And you know what, don't call me Mom, call me Emily.
And you know what? Not interested!
And you think you're better than that!
And you... [Exhales sharply]
And you'd surprise me with stuff,
And you're all invited.
And you're kind of... an old thing.
And you're still having fun pranking people?
And your beard's gonna get all salt and pepper y!
And, "Is there a king of books? It should be you, my liege!"
And, by the way, I'm gonna need you to come in
And, frankly, rather cartoonish kind of meat thief, okay?
And, ignoring his father's sound advice,
And, yes, it's amazing! Whoo!
And...clap!
Announcer: Does your head hurt because your daughter
Announcer: Prepositions got you down?
Any use of the hat outside the garden
Anybody want to see me make a Brontosaurus?
Anybody?
Anyway, happy birthday, sweet pea!
Are all backed up.
Are going in the next batch?
Are legally binding.
Are they okay, Mommy?
Are you cheating on us with another family?
Are you drinking moonshine?
Are you gonna put in an offer?
Are you guys spelling "shit"?
Are you really going to turn me down for Suzie's of Maine?
Are you shitting me?
Are you sure?
Are you the two women that knocked this
Are you trying to make furries even sexier?
Artist! Dude, I love it!
As long as Candice is happy and doing well,
As long as we get to play Butterfly Barn!
As Professor Dorpen Borat.
At 6:00 tomorrow, Emily.
At a vasectomy clinic.
At his sweet beach condo.
At least I'm trying my best, unlike my dad.
At the Ottawa Conservatory of
Audiences are sick of CG talking animals.
Aw, come on.
Aw, damn it!
Aw, man.
Aw, sick!
Aw, that's great to hear.
Aw, they got the thread, too?
Aw, this one looks nice.
Aw! Come on, man.
Aw! He's sacrificing himself to save us.
Aw! I thought it was over you guys.
Aww, I can't believe
Aww!
Aww!
Aww.
Awwww!
Baby!
Babysitting doesn't exactly gel with my plan to get off tonight.
Back in the day, we used to worship this guy.
Bad dog! I know how to make you more obedient!
Bad news, bud.
Baxter Street.
Be right with ya, folks!
Be the rock ock ock.
Be the rock that your family can depend on!
Because Dr. Ferguson has us on an exclusive contract!
Because he thought you were hot.
Because I can't be out there
Because I'm sick of this double standard
Because my date is sewn to his ex
Because some of us ditch each other
Because that's when I knew you were safe.
Because they represent the normal life
Because they're boring.
Because they're boring.
Because when I skate it sounds like...
Been on run ever since.
Before the fundraiser tomorrow and break the news.
Before the old vasectomy,
Before you ask, yes, we have sex,
Besides, I was hoping you'd read it.
Best friends! Both: He's okay!
Better than a 10 and paper thin.
Better. We're forever 23.
Big day, Candice!
Billie gave Usher herpes.
Billy, my man, what's up?
Billy?!
Bird Josh, you came back!
Bird Josh!
Bitch.
BJ! Bird Josh.
Bob Jonesworth bombing Baxter Street.
Bob Jonesworth is my dad?
Bodacious!
Bone? Ooh, that is hot.
Bone.
Bone.
Bone.
Bone.
Boo! A club?
Boring.
Both: "The Glistening Scabbard."
Both: Aah!
BOTH: Bridgette? Emily?
Both: Dog boy!
Both: Eeeeeeeeeeh!
Both: Huh?
Both: Huh?
Both: Road trip! Mix CDs!
Both: Show us! Show us! Show us!
Both: Weird Al Yankovic!
Brainio to stay at your residence for charging.
Bridgette, I can't attach myself to someone
Bridgette, where were you?
Bridgette, you're the key to waking up Bush Guy.
Bridgette: This is a new song that we just wrote.
Bridgette: Watch out! [ Grunts ]
Bridgette: We've got the sex. We've got the drugs.
Bridgette: Where's Candice? She isn't in her room.
Bridgette!
Bridgette!
Bridgette?
Bridgette?
But after our very long conversations over text,
But at least my students are learning math.
But because I know you love being a mom.
But he couldn't handle it, and he quit.
But he is cute.
But how could I...
But I bet if we put our faces,
But I can't kill everyone by myself.
But I couldn't give it everything you could.
But I couldn't wait any longer to see you.
But I do remember.
But I found it insightful.
But I used a magic hat way too many times,
But I used a magic hat way too many times,
But I'll be there to guide you the whole way,
But I'm not going anywhere.
But I'm pretty sure your mom pronounces it
But I'm so excited!
But if Candice isn't able to participate,
But if we're reckless, it comes with a huge price.
But in this case, it true.
But is it okay if I just stay here?
But it certainly wasn't pretty.
But it kinda does and
But it won't feel like it
But just once a week, I like to imagine life
But just to hang out. I'm not some YouTube groupie.
But later, it's just you, me, and Grave Rollers!
But little does she know I'm immune to it.
But mainly we learned we never want to have kids.
But my small talk with children is real limited!
But not because I've been eavesdropping.
But now he's trying to out Skate Dad me, too?
But now they are super apart. No!
But now we can't pop and lock
But seeing a brother and sister together
But she play God, make human animal hybrids!
But the Japanese woman is beautiful.
But then uh oh! We have to jack up our prices!
But there's no harm in looking.
But they're really weird, right?
But wait. What about you saying you wanted to be free
But we can cut ourselves apart.
But we can't say stuff like that here.
But we should do a thing together.
But we'd have to be conjoined to do that.
But we're going to have some fun together.
But we've grown out of doing pranks.
But what about all the good parts of getting old?
But what about the fundraiser?
But when you do...
But when you're a mannequin,
But why?
But you know what doesn't suck?
But you know what? You got most of it
But you look so sexy when you're being a good parent.
But you ordered a flat screen.
But you probably miss one more than the other.
But you two have a bright future ahead of you.
But you're broken up? Very.
But you're man
But you're not? You can buy my game, right?
But you're our boy, Dorp.
But your wife probably made you, right?
But, hey, now you can see how awesome it is
But...dreams change.
By doing our taxes later?
By hacking Brainio and bypassing the commercials.
By the chaos at the apartment.
By watching a double feature of this and this.
Bye!
Bye! Have a great time!
Bye! That her! She must track van!
Calling me Mummy?
Can I help you, my lords?
Can I, uh, see some ID, my man?
Can we ask one thing before we give you the quilt?
Can we at least swim in the pool?
Can we go home and play?
Can you really make a quilt for us?
Can't have Candice be a genie without a lamp.
Can't wait!
Can't we just kill them?
Can't you baby sit for one night?
Candice and I changed his code
Candice doesn't want to do anything I liked as a kid.
Candice goes off to college.
Candice is fine.
Candice is right.
Candice isn't riding on the pony I got her!
Candice lost her mind.
Candice the Crusher is gonna try and set the world record.
Candice, what are you doing?
Candice, why don't you just unbox this one?
Candice, you have to stand up!
Candice, you want me to teach you how to skate?
Candice: Hey, Dad, did you order something from Brainio?
Candice!
Candice!
Candice!
Candice!
Candice! Are you okay?
Candice. Why do they call you "The Goosh"?
Candice's project needs to be done by tomorrow
Capitalism is the great oppressor!
Children are the future.
Children, please! I paid for this bus with my own money!
Chirp a, chirp a, chirp!
Classic Dave!
Cleaned up for the play date.
Click. How dare you?
Coast is clear, so this concludes our broadcast day.
Cold cases are my mahjong!
Come back!
Come on, Alex.
Come on, baby. Hold together.
Come on, bro!
Come on, Dog Boy.
Come on, dude, Medieval Times aversary.
Come on, Emily.
Come on, it's Crumpet Week!
Come on, Josh. I'm trying to spice up our love life.
Come on, man!
Come on, Ron. We're getting sewn together.
Come on! Let's focus!
Come on! Slam it down, bitch!
Come on.
Come on.
Come on. Give it a chance.
Come on. No!
Come to think of it, where is Mom?
Come with me. It's time for you to loosen up.
Comic Sans?
Coming up with those puns.
Congrats, bro, you qualify for our VIP room!
Congratulations, honey!
Consequences? You didn't say anything about that.
Consider Nomar for the hall of fame!
Consider this!
Consider this! [ Grunts ]
Consider your family! Consider your future!
Consuelo, wait! I need that fabric!
Cool.
Correct! What's going on?
Couldn't set up the camera in time.
Couldn't take me out, nothing can.
Crossfire refill pellets you ordered.
Crow's feet? I didn't have these this morning.
Curve the TV! I want it to look like IMAX.
D D Dude
D D Dude
D D Dudeman!
D D Dudeman!
Daaamn, you've got six million subscribers?
Dad, why did you take me to the Apple Store?
Dad!
Dad! Ramirez!
Dad's girlfriend is getting away!
Daddy doesn't like it too strong.
Daddy, can you teach me how to ollie like "The Goosh?"
Daddy, what's an ass knife?
Daddy!
Daddy!
Daddy's not in the bathroom.
Damn it, I just took a picture!
Damn it! That was a very expensive door!
Damn it! Those teachers are good!
Damn it. Of course you can't get a good connection
Damn you, ham!
Dang, man, I'm sorry.
Dante: People are starving all over the world,
Daughter? [ Chuckles ]
Dave, Caitlin, I can't be a part of your family anymore.
Deejay: Let me hear you say Divorsay!
Dev! Mel! Whaddup?!
Did that do anything?
Did we just make the hastiest decision ever?
Did you hear that new Ween album?
Did you know the average baby goes through
Did you pack Mr. Bun Bun?
Did you really mean it when you said you'd be my wingman?
Dinner! Is it okay if I hang out over here with you guys?
Disgustingly sweet?
Ditched his whole curriculum for stunts.
Divorsay!
Do all dog boys feel this alone?
Do I really have to be alone with her?
Do that again.
Do you know how hugs work?
Do you mean that? No.
Do you mind watching Candice
Do you remember what the most common password is I taught you?
Do you still feel good about it?
Do you still feel that spark?
Do you think I rushed into this?
Do you think I'm useless, Randy?
Do you want it shaved clean
Do you work out?
Do you? What are you doing here?
Do you... Do you guys hear that?
Does anybody know where I can find thread?
Does anyone else hear that?
Does he always talk to you like that?
Does it hurt, though? The only thing that's hurting is my heart,
Does thou have a mug of ale for me and me mate?
Dog Boy got his degree online.
Dog Boy is my property.
Dog Boy isn't a that.
Dog boy loves Medieval Times,
Dog Boy need to find a hydrant with his name on it.
Dog Boy?
Dog Boy?
Dog!
Don't be embarrassed. Let them ca caw loud and proud!
Don't be scared. See? We're okay.
Don't call her that. Give it up, Nikki.
Don't even let their kids do their own projects.
Don't even think about helping me.
Don't forget to check out the guest house.
Don't go anywhere, my little birdie.
Don't like responding to questions when you watch TV?
Don't move. I'll be right there.
Don't stop. It's working!
Don't tell me how to be a working mom.
Don't tell The Goosh you're scared. Tell me.
Don't worry about it. I'll call my guy Dante.
Don't worry, kids. Dad's gonna protect you.
Don't you dare shut me out!
Don't you get it?
Don't!
Dorp!
Dorp! Man, don't do it.
Down, down, down, the red knight is going down!
Dr. Ferguson: And, you know, those little bundles of joy
Dr. Ferguson: Is a vasectomy right for you?
Dr. Ferguson: Mr. Singleton?
Dr. Ferguson: You better not be popping and/or locking in there!
Dr. Glandz mentioned some nonsense about stress,
Dried meats!
Dude thought he could cruise in here
Dude, did you just reference a movie from 1976?
Dude, it's our Medieval Times aversary.
Dude, Josh! It's me Keith Nash!
Dude, listen.
Dude, look up there.
Dude, that's awesome!
Dude, what's the point?
Dude!
Dude!
Dude! You were so close!
Dude?!
Dude's got a body like the jack of clubs
Dudes, come on!
Duh doy!
Dumbass white people.
During songwriting sessions?
Dying sounds.
Each other! I don't know.
Eeeeeeeeh!
Eeeeeeeeh!
Eeeeeeh!
Eeeeeeh!
Eeeeeh!
Eeeeeh!
Eh, and you did look past some of my baggage.
Eh, I'm not worried about it.
Eh, it's totally cool.
Eh, no more than usual.
Eh, she's okay.
Eh, technically, Sisyphus couldn't quit.
Eh, yeah.
Eh...gah!
Ehh?
Ehh?
Ehhh?
Eight years, Emily! Eight years!
Em, chill out. Read a magazine.
Emi...ly!
Emily and Josh are gonna go buy a castle and move out
Emily is being impossible. What?
Emily, I swear to God!
Emily, Joshua, I was so worried when you didn't show up.
Emily, meet the crew.
Emily, party in the hills!
Emily, we have to get the girls together again.
Emily, where are you?!
Emily: Dang, Josh. I can't believe they put a metal plate on your taint.
Emily: I can't believe you got us
Emily: Josh, Candice is dabbing! Remember that?
Emily: Yeah! They make the meal right in your mouth. Bye!
Emily!
Emily!
Emily!
Emily!
Emily!
Emily! Bridgette!
Emily! Emily!
Emily! Josh!
Emily! Josh! What the hell?
Emily! There you are.
Emily! What the hell?!
Emily?
Emily?
Emily's job gets us health insurance and stuff,
Engaaaaaaaged!
Enough pissing around. Time to make it final.
Enough with the nice guy act.
Escargot to hell.
Even...I...can't... help...it!
Event? What event?
Eventually grow up.
Every couple weeks?
Every great stunt ever performed
Every night we come to life and party! [ All cheer ]
Every school has at least one dad up to his neck
Everybody's gonna be there.
Everyone close your eyes and repeat after me.
Everything okay, Candice?
Everything okay?
Ew. Josh, you know I'm trying to get the house
Excellent! The more the merrier!
Explore our feelings.
Ezra, I need more shifts.
Factory tour's on Thursdays.
Feed me from your mouth to my mouth.
Feel the Fahrenheit.
Female voice: We're still in love.
Find out, before you stab a bitch.
Find the one that says "self destruct," sweetie.
Fine!
Fine.
First pour, though.
Five!
Five!
Five! Five!
Flawless Caruso, bro.
Flew towards the sun
Follow me.
For a bazillion dollars?
For a tour of her bathtub anyway, so
For birth control.
For chocolate chip pancakes.
For me, it was video games.
For nervous patients like you.
For realsies.
For some community college dum dums
For stoning women.
For the family tree quilt project.
For the record, I feel really weird holding your daughter
For the rest of our lives, dude!
For these six unpaid parking tickets.
For Valhalla!
For young adults.
Forsooth, halt!
Found your dog.
Four tequilas, please.
Freakin' pumped!
Free to make my own choices!
Friday night!
From a condom in a can of lima beans.
From a dude in a porta potty again.
From now on, we're super careful.
From now on!
From patients under a lot of pressure.
From Santa Maria to Santa Clarita.
From the used condom that was found
Funny story, actually...
Gah!
Gah!
Game over, man, game over!
Genevieve: This is the stunt library.
Genevieve?
Get 'em!
Get away from me, ya punk millennial!
Get back here, bro.
Get back in your car.
Get me out of here!
Get my mom to whip us up some snacks..
Get over here!
Get rid of it!
Get your brownies, piping hot and authentic
Give me the cash, Nikki!
Give up now. It was better in the past anyway.
Glad you're all here 'cause I have a big announcement.
Go ahead, try using it on the garden.
Go find it, girl.
Go find it.
Go under! Go under!
Go, Sox!
Go, Sox!
Go!
Go! We could sponsor a garden at my daughter's school.
God, your laugh makes our knees weak.
Going out to meet Nikki!
Good because I hate metaphors,
Good Lord!
Good luck with Netflix special, huh?
Good morrow, kind sir!
Good night!
Good one about the toilet, too.
Good or bad.
Good, good, good.
Goooooosh! [ Laughs ]
Goosh, thanks for your help, but I have to do this myself.
Got it! This is for Candice!
Got mine last week, though.
Got voted best video game company of the year,
Gotcha!
Gotcha! Aah!
Gotta say, you get a solid "F" in my book.
GPS, remote screen sharing,
Grab a Snuggie and get in on this action.
Grandad just got into an accident.
Great news. There's nothing wrong with me.
Great work, Emily.
Great! Of course she took Dog Boy to an impenetrable fortress!
Greg and Suzie are children, not childs.
Guess who's zero percent stressed?
Guys, I think I'm...
Guys, I'm concerned that Candice
Guys, something is wrong in this house.
Guys, you have a whole night to yourselves
Guys! Guys! Ugh!
Guys...
H Whoa, whoa, whoa!
H Hey, I changed my mind.
Ha ha. What do you mean?
Ha, if by murdering, you mean kill off
Ha!
Ha! ♪ Closing time! ♪
Ha! Can I try?
Ha! Found it!
Ha! No worries, my dude.
Ha! Prank war!
Ha! You, sir, are a delight!
Had to cut Alex out of the vent like he was a can of tuna.
Hah, good for her!
Haha!
Haha! Not the way we do it.
Haha! You know what? Your metal plate is kind of cool.
Hairball Houdini and Smelly Duvall.
Hammers are for amnesia.
Hand?
Hang on.
Happy "Medieval Times aversary".
Hashtag so happy! Hashtag 100% of my life is spent being happy!
Hasn't turned in her patch yet
Have fun with the loser moms.
Have you been stressed? Me?
Have you guys seen a Poliwrath around here?
Haven't you ever wondered what our lives would be like
Haven't you heard about the SoCal ham shortage?
He barely knows the "Friends" theme song.
He doesn't realize it yet, but once he does,
He got trampled by horses, he did!
He is busting out all the hits!
He kept trying to push that car up the mountain,
He ordered a Napquinne!
He really appreciates all your help.
He scared me.
He told us we're just glorified assistants
He took 13 bullets for me in a shootout.
He totally knows I'm high.
He was a great bird.
He's a Skate Father.
He's basically as smart as you.
He's excited. Spring Break!
He's my new best friend.
He's never like that. [ Chugging ]
He's not coming back. That's not what he's saying.
He's onto us, Cletus! Switch to plan B!
He's probably not coming! This is our life now!
He's so strong. Uh...
Head Thug: No way out now, Jabronis!
Heeeeeey.
Heh, no plus ones.
Hello, I'm Brainio. A state of the art robot tutor.
Hello, ladies!
Hello, Mr. Salt.
Hello, sweetie.
Hello? Josh: Emily!
Hello? Please!
Helping Candice realize her skate potential.
Here is an easy one.
Here, I'll show you a post!
Hey, 'sup?
Hey, barkeep! You got any, uh, craft beers?
Hey, boy.
Hey, bro. Long time, no see.
Hey, Bush Guy!
Hey, can you throw this in the trash for me?
Hey, Candice. You want to catch a criminal?
Hey, Dad! Check it out!
Hey, do you think maybe after the scare, you can...
Hey, guys! Sand & Bone is amazing.
Hey, have you seen my vibrator?
Hey, hey, hey. It's okay.
Hey, how'd you guys get here so fast?
Hey, how'd you know "shoat" meant pig?
Hey, I can teach you, too. It's a free class.
Hey, I got an idea.
Hey, I said I was sorry.
Hey, I was going to, all right?
Hey, I'm Dave, Emily's husband.
Hey, I'm pretty good at this! Aah!
Hey, I'm The Goosh. Can I help you?
Hey, I've been making a killer apple tart.
Hey, just come on up, guys!
Hey, let's get rid of this evil robot.
Hey, man, you want to hear
Hey, man. I know our whole Medieval Times thing
Hey, Mom, you should wear this hat I made you at school!
Hey, my dude, my man, my bro.
Hey, my Estruct T shirt just came in the mail.
Hey, put your hands up! [ Both laugh ]
Hey, real quick. Can I "ass" you a few questions?
Hey, that's a pretty long jump, Dorp.
Hey, that's cool. We'll do a little screen time,
Hey, that's my wife.
Hey, that's the kid who stole my wallet!
Hey, they're getting away!
Hey, wait a minute.
Hey, wanna come try out the new hammock?
Hey, wasn't sure if you were more into pizza rolls
Hey, we can have weird and confusing sex here.
Hey, what do you say we celebrate
Hey, what's going on?
Hey, what's the holdup, Dorp? Are you doing this or not?
Hey, when I'm with my family, it's just Dad Al Yankovic.
Hey, why don't you two go off and make your own choices
Hey, you're just in time for the wet T shirt contest.
Hey!
Hey! Hey! Where's my rich family?
Hey! Leave the old people alone.
Hey! Plugboy! Do what my kid wants.
Hey! Plugger Inners!
Hey! What's going
Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hey! You can't be up here!
Hey.
Hi, Emily. I'm just calling to see
Hi, I'm Joy!
Hi, I'm Joy. Alex!
Hi, I'm meeting someone.
Hi, Mommy! I can read the letters of the alphabet!
Hi, Mommy. I'm smart now.
Hi, sweetie!
Hi!
Hi!
Hi! [Laughs] Thank you, yeah. Mr. Campbell.
Hi. Can you and I be frieeeeennnnn...
His danglies, his bing bongs.
His fragile hips.
His game "Dudeman" was the shizz!
Hmm, okay!
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm. [ Gasps ]
Hmm. Hey, you watching
Hmm. I can feel that.
Hmm. I'm not holding my breath, which is really fun to do.
Hmm...
Hold up! Oh, right.
Hold up. You're going in and out.
Holy crap!
Holy crap! What the hell was that?!
Holy sh
Holy shoat.
Homemade beer?
Hon, I know you're upset,
Honey, no one would have a party for that.
How about a slice to show there's no hard feelings?
How about DB? Nah, just Dog Boy.
How about I make out a check?
How about it? [ Sighs ] Yeah, it died,
How are you still hamming it up?
How could Candice test so poorly?
How dare you!
How did any of this even happen?
How did Candice take it?
How did you know that?
How do I even play?
How do you get to be a VIP?
How do you stop this thing?
How long till this hits? Soon ish?
How long until Josh gets here?
How much you sell that baby for?
How old are you?
How the other half lives. [ Chuckles ]
How to defend ourselves
How was your first day at work, sunshine?
How will I buy stuff and the drink stuff and party...stuff?
How you're enjoying the condo.
How'd she get the meat so minced?
How'd they get so gross?
Huh hu huh uh hu hu hu!
Huh! Waahh!
Huh?
Huh?
Huh?
Huh?
Huh?
Huh?
Huh? [ Gasps ]
Huh? Bridgette?
Huh? Huh?
Huh? Man [ on video ]: Yes, another twist tie!
Huh? Oh. Whoops.
Huh? Whoa.
Huh?!
Huhuhuhu.
Hunh!
Hunh! Ugh!
Husband. All day, husband!
Hwuah ah ah!
Hyah!
Hyah!
Hyah! Aaaaaah!
I I just want to call my wife one more time.
I I picked up a second job.
I also got it on account of the government's evil plan
I also love our family.
I always call a coma "the big C."
I always just try to be true to myself.
I always thought you'd have like seven babies.
I always thought you'd have like seven babies.
I am Candeesi!
I am not overpaying for pills
I am so 23.
I am so glad that Bush Guy dropped the charges.
I am so sorry! No, no.
I am...
I ate too much pizza.
I bet there's hams in there.
I bet you could get us to the resort faster
I bought some other stuff, too.
I call the feet!
I can tell that it was really stressful,
I can't believe Candice used to fit in these.
I can't believe Josh went through all of this
I can't believe my baby's 26.
I can't believe that sweet condo
I can't believe you haven't focused on this band
I can't believe you're letting him conjoin with you guys.
I can't believe you're not animatronic.
I can't believe your boss is gonna let us stay
I can't feel my body!
I can't find the patient.
I can't get my students to pay attention to a word I say.
I can't let you do this.
I can't wait to post about this on Tripadvisor.
I cannot believe you did that.
I could come help with the garden, too.
I could do that.
I couldn't agree with you more.
I decided to reverse my vasectomy,
I deserve this for being such a dick.
I did it for my older kids, so I know how hard it can be.
I didn't bail!
I didn't do it! Huh?
I do care.
I do.
I don't care. Sure. Okay.
I don't even have a toilet.
I don't even know what I like.
I don't get it. Why do you need a side job
I don't know about you, but my back is killing me!
I don't know how much longer this guy's gonna last.
I don't know how, but they found me!
I don't know if it's the moonlight through the smog
I don't know what that means, but I'm in!
I don't know what to do, man.
I don't know! [Bleep]
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know. My idea of vacation is not lounging
I don't know. She said she was gonna go grab dinner!
I don't meant to bother you, but I'm looking for a lost dog.
I don't need insurance. [ Chuckles ]
I don't need your help 'cause I know what time it is.
I don't think we should be co room parents anymore.
I don't think we're alone.
I don't want any trouble!
I don't want to be a failure anymore.
I feel connected to you.
I feel incredible!
I feel like it's just hard walking.
I feel the same way. But wait...
I find that hard to believe!
I followed you today.
I give them "A"s so they'll like me.
I give you "Dudeman"!
I got a custom Lambo.
I got it.
I got to finish my costume before we go
I got you. [ Gasps ]
I got your TVs!
I gotta get to that clinic!
I gotta hang out with their lame ass mom.
I guess I can get a refund on that sex pillow.
I guess I just needed a little Joy
I guess I still need to hear that click.
I guess I thought this was the only way
I guess some parents aren't meant to raise kids.
I guess when I taught at UCLA,
I had a glass of water an hour ago.
I had a vasectomy last year
I had it legally changed.
I had nine punches on it!
I have a busy weekend.
I have all my coupons organized,
I have enough free time to go to a concert.
I have seen this before
I have the perfect place for you.
I have to go to the restroom.
I haven't had breast milk in over a year.
I haven't seen her this happy since that coyote bit her
I haven't seen you since you sold your game "Heli Man"
I heard you need some help with a stunt.
I hope you have insurance.
I I was gonna say clap.
I just I have a sister already,
I just make that noise sometimes when I'm hungry.
I just need to make sure she's okay!
I just need what's in his bean bags,
I just needed to let you know,
I just take a picture and throw it away.
I just took it up to reject him.
I just want to post that.
I just want to post this real quick
I just wanted to keep it young in here!
I just wanted to reconnect with you.
I just wanted to say how impressive you are.
I knew how bad you wanted Candice to learn to skate,
I knew I seen that van before because nothing gets past me,
I knew you couldn't be a cool mom.
I know Emily was into this whole thing,
I know I'm usually so funny, but this time,
I know it means a lot to Candice that you're trying so hard.
I know things have gotten a little stale lately, so let's
I know we chose to have roommates
I know, but I need to hand this in.
I know, but we're gonna get you out of here.
I know. That's why when you're done with that,
I let Mia beat my kid's ass,
I live in a closet in Los Feliz.
I love our family.
I love this idea!
I love you like a sister!
I love you! And don't worry
I loved our 90 minute conversation
I loved you in "Draft Day"!
I made my quilt patch all by myself!
I may be physically dead, but you know what's not dead?
I mean 'sup?
I mean fun. Wow!
I mean not just cute.
I mean, an address?
I mean, an address?
I mean, even a smart kid couldn't get them.
I mean, if you don't believe us, check the database.
I mean, it doesn't have to.
I mean, just because we have no money
I mean, look at this.
I mean, maybe you can?
I mean, we love seeing dudes do stupid shit,
I mean, we love you, dude, but pranks are kind of...
I mean, why are you hiding that beautiful hair
I mean, yeah, she's very pretty...
I mean, yes, no.
I mean, you are free to go anywhere.
I mean, you can't just sit there
I mean, you'll save Pearle and get out of the house.
I merely stunned her into a sleep like state.
I met the coolest guy there, the coolest.
I miss those days.
I need to grieve. Whoo!
I never had time to get the thread.
I never heard about a quilt project.
I only ordered it like 20 minutes ago.
I owe them 3 grand. Dude!
I pranked my way into this.
I read that blog post.
I really wasn't trying to compare Candice to Yoko.
I remember that, too.
I remember these jealous rages from when we were married,
I remember when my dad took me to my first skate shop.
I said my back is killing me!
I saw you being romantic all over town.
I saw you gallivanting around town with your girlfriend!
I say we do a Spring Break at home.
I say what I see...
I sc****d my knee!
I sent you guys the class snap.
I should have never set up this play date.
I should not've drunk three Powerades.
I should of never gotten her that robot tutor.
I should've seen the signs.
I spoke with the rest of the faculty at Chamomile,
I swear I've seen that van somewhere, from some cold case.
I think I'm just gonna go for a walk, get some air.
I think Josh is being seduced.
I think of it as more of a fun raiser.
I think that was English!
I think this is actually pretty retouched.
I think we lost them.
I think we might have an idea for a song.
I think you can write songs and focus on your family.
I think you're right, Caitlin,
I think you're the only dog boy.
I thought divorce sex was supposed to be fun.
I thought he was murdering you!
I thought I'd never see you again either.
I thought we were going to sand and bone.
I thought you guys wanted this.
I thought you guys were telling me about a life hack.
I thought you were really into me being responsible?
I told you I could take care of myself.
I tried to improve, but nothing was good enough for her.
I understand.
I used AOL to "surf the Web."
I used to be the prank master in high school.
I used to have that.
I used to love skating.
I used to wing for Josh in high school.
I wanna do that!
I wanna get old!
I want in on the action.
I want to be Denzel!
I want to be the butter pig.
I want to find out organically.
I warned you of the consequences,
I was amazing at it.
I was being a dick to you, but you know what?
I was high.
I was just about to do that.
I was like, "Ha! That's just a dog."
I was looking through all of Candice's old clothes.
I was reading this article about divorce sex
I was thinking we can all play Butterfly Barn.
I was trying to be sexy, but I have no game.
I won thumb war fair and square,
I won? [ Laughs ]
I worked hard for those Togo's stamps!
I would definitely know.
I would have never agreed to that.
I would never let anyone touch my junk.
I wouldn't worry too hard about the test.
I wrote my name!
I, myself, can vouch for that.
I'd better take it.
I'd just get a second job and give up my dream.
I'd lie in bed until I heard the click of the door opening.
I'd like to thank you guys for givin' up part of your Saturday
I'd love that!
I'd make a lot of "deposits" here. Haha.
I'd rather connect with an actual person.
I'd rather hang out with my family!
I'll be forced to give her an "A".
I'll be right back.
I'll be right there!
I'll bring a great bottle of Shiraz, cool?
I'll bring the homemade beer.
I'll do it.
I'll get it!
I'll get my swim suit! Oh. [ Giggles ]
I'll have to bury the project and bury you!
I'll let you use the hat to work the garden,
I'll let you use the hat to work the garden,
I'll never know.
I'll put a tablecloth over her.
I'll take half.
I'll take your finest $10 worth of ham, my good man.
I'll try.
I'm 26.
I'm a failure as a mother.
I'm a great wingman, wingman, wingman...
I'm a great wingman.
I'm a post this right quick.
I'm a room parent.
I'm actually from Oregon.
I'm actually serious.
I'm afraid I can't let you do that.
I'm all about older guys right now!
I'm already so friggin' tired.
I'm at the open house, but something's...
I'm beautiful minding, duh doy.
I'm calling a family meeting.
I'm coming for you, baby!
I'm coming for you, Dog Boy!
I'm cut off?
I'm doing it!
I'm doing this sold out keynote speech at E3.
I'm Emily's husband.
I'm fine. I'm not done shredding yet.
I'm focused on it, but Emily doesn't seem to care.
I'm going out to Logan's tonight.
I'm going to go hit your pit.
I'm going to jail!
I'm gonna break you the way I broke that piggy bank!
I'm gonna catch ya. I'm gonna catch ya!
I'm gonna getcha!
I'm gonna go get Candice.
I'm gonna go show her how to roll down that ramp.
I'm gonna need to see some ID, bro.
I'm gonna play Grave Rollers with my child.
I'm gonna walk home.
I'm having second thoughts.
I'm here to save you!
I'm impressed with your detective work,
I'm just a tired old man who can't even party anymore.
I'm just gonna run to the bathroom for a minute.
I'm just gonna walk up to them and say something cool
I'm just having a stimulating rap sesh with a fellow writer.
I'm just trying so hard to do a good job.
I'm just trying to finish my old game, "Dudeman"!
I'm limitless!
I'm looking for some righteous decks!
I'm not a douche bag.
I'm not a man slaughterer!
I'm not a mombie.
I'm not detached?
I'm not getting off!
I'm not giving up!
I'm not going back to that hard drive!
I'm not going to read that giant thing
I'm not gonna go through with it.
I'm not ready to commit to no more kids.
I'm not supposed to have candy!
I'm not sure what's happening with him right now.
I'm only gonna get older and lamer!
I'm proud of this one, too.
I'm Quinn, and this is my squad.
I'm running a Josh in Van Nuys, too.
I'm scared, Goosh!
I'm so doing this.
I'm so excited to have those feet!
I'm so glad to hear you say that.
I'm so sorry guys. Thank you.
I'm so sorry that I made you feel bad.
I'm so sorry, she's a rescue. [ Chuckles ]
I'm so sorry.
I'm so stupid, whatever!
I'm sorry about not going to Medieval Times with you.
I'm sorry I wasn't focused on our music, Bridge.
I'm sorry that you don't have any Dorpenbabies
I'm sorry we're dead.
I'm sorry, Bush Guy.
I'm sorry, but it's time for me to go back to my real home.
I'm sorry, Ma.
I'm sorry. Can you say that one more time?
I'm talking about my uncircumcised penis.
I'm texting you the address.
I'm this close to connecting Garfield to Jesus!
I'm too bummed to have a spring break.
I'm trying to find my husband.
I'm un murderable.
I'm worried it'll be too late.
I'm your Dad!
I'm...your boy?
I'mma go slide into his DMs, IRL.
I've actually been outside
I've always wanted to be a Family Bike family.
I've been doing extra installations
I've been texting
I've been working this corner for 10 years.
I've got a champagne vaginal steam at the spa in 20.
I've got a family!
I've got boxers older than 21. [ Chuckles ]
I've got some off the books installations,
I've got some serious exemptions I'd like you to take.
I've got the crotch Novocain ready.
I've got to find my thing!
I've got to stop her!
I've had enough.
I've heard so much about you,
I've never been so excited to leave an open house!
I've never gotten you before?
I've pulled this grift in every town
I've seen that look before. Let me guess
If an earthquake hits today, guess what we're eating?
If anybody should die tonight, it's me.
If anyone's gonna teach her, it should be me, Skate Dad!
If I believe in the Lord of Light, are you?
If I had these tins, I would drink tea all day, son.
If I hadn't given up?
If I post it now and tag the location,
If it weren't for you nosy 35 year old kids!
If she takes that money,
If she wants to sit middle seat in this flight called life,
If someone were coming on to me,
If we ever started to turn, you know...
If you close your eyes, it feels like you're in Costa Rica.
If you ever need anything,
If you had to make sense of her terrible plots,
If you know what I mean.
If you like Joy so much,
If you need help getting laid at that funeral,
If you want to come up with better ideas,
If you're 24, just kill yourself."
If you're up to it.
In another couple to psychologically torture.
In Costa Rica!
In dangerous situations.
In honor of your Medieval Times aversary,
In honor of your Medieval Times aversary,
In L.A. Uh, M Mr. Singleton!
In L.A. who isn't a total nutjob.
In my defense, you did shit your pants at the party.
In my life to unlock the real me.
In my line of work we call them a "Josh."
In my mind!
In my two acre backya a a ard!
In room parent duties, desperate for help.
In the bathroom for no reason.
In the holiest of places?
In your parenting paella.
Innocent man into a coma?
Instead, we nurture their inner emotional garden.
Interested, seriously?
Interesting choice they made on that one.
Interesting choice.
Into?
Introduce me? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ironically, I am proud of her!
Is about to bloom in your life.
Is cram jammed with flavor!
Is everything okay?
Is he always like this?
Is immortalized in these walls.
Is in these boxes.
Is just gonna sit empty all week...
Is some sweet, sweet parenting.
Is still really important to you.
Is struggling in school?
Is that its neck or its butthole?
Is that Josh and Alex!
Is that part of the process?
Is that possum wearing sunglasses?
Is that real?
Is that thing cleaning up this overcrowded apartment?
Is that you?
Is the bun fun? Hey.
Is there a doctor here?
Is there any subject you don't have homework for?
Is this Is this a Halloween costume or...
Is this an underground retail rave?
Is this community event
Is this gonna take much longer?
Is this really happening?
Is trying to take that away from me!
Is what I will say as soon as we're done.
Isn't he a little young?
Isn't Josh a little young to get his wang danged?
Isn't she great? [ Scoffs ]
Isn't that the slogan for Outback Steakhouse?
Isn't there some other way for you
Isn't this song great?
It all depends on your... [slow motion] tolerance.
It doesn't matter to me.
It doesn't take Rizzoli and/or Isles to figure this out.
It gets us important stuff, like health insurance.
It goes out to our new friend, Dog Boy.
It has a chance of showing up in the Sand & Bone story,
It hit me while I was posting a new song online.
It is a funny story, though.
It just gets richer and more meaningful.
It just slipped out. Let me go talk to her.
It means you're a shit parent.
It might never be finished.
It must get a job!"
It probably why I so well adjusted.
It rolled back down.
It says he's across the street.
It says that it's only fun if there's no strings attached.
It takes a real man to volunteer
It took me a lot longer than I thought to get that BJ.
It was a spasm!
It was an actual deodorant joke!
It was eight hours of folding!
It was nothing.
It was nothing.
It was nothing.
It was the worst moment of my life.
It wasn't exactly, "You are the king of books, dude,"
It will be great.
It won't slam!
It'll be a fun road trip!
It'll be so romantic.
It'll give us time to go over the word of the lord.
It's "Professor Dorpenberger."
It's a director's cut
It's a set, Josh.
It's a similar shape as the toy...
It's a tough school. Not every family is up to the task.
It's a very simple laser procedure.
It's a volume business.
It's all fake.
It's an opportunity to help the school
It's because we're sewn together.
It's both!
It's called grave throbbing.
It's fine! I'm just gonna make my to do list
It's gonna be so weird and confusing.
It's got everything
It's how knights ate!
It's huge!
It's just every night growing up,
It's kind of sexy.
It's legally binding!
It's like that dude Sisyphus.
It's like this sour beer.
It's like what they say in Europe
It's not a prank! This is not a prank!
It's not funny!
It's not like I've already written a part of my memoir
It's not my fault I found his terrible improve troupe
It's not my fault you put too many ingredients
It's on!
It's one thing that this guy is teaching Candice to skate,
It's packed with paintings of food.
It's pretty cool these shows end so early now, huh?
It's really bad.
It's so addictive! I can't not clap!
It's so beautiful.
It's so sad.
It's stereotype that dog is man's best friend,
It's technically more of a scare.
It's the hot club right now.
It's time for a little post taco siesta.
It's time for a special director's cut.
It's time you finally finished this game!
It's too late for you! Bah!
It's tough to beat. Wh Whoa.
It's true.
It's vacation! We can splurge!
It's very rare for a man of your age to be this sure,
It's working! It's working!
Jack knife!
Jackpot!
Jerry Plembladd, L.A. Weekly.
Jesus! What the hell is that?
JK! I'll do it! [ Laughs ]
Jojo, how's Mia taking to her new diet?
Jojo, Mia!
Josh can take care of it. [ Smack ]
Josh ends up turding in the pool.
Josh is a type.
Josh Singleton, you have violated the lease agreement
Josh, do you realize what you've signed up for?
Josh, get in the car!
Josh, get off that thing! You're gonna kill yourself!
Josh, help!
Josh, help!
Josh, I came here because sometimes I feel overwhelmed
Josh, I didn't mean it!
Josh, I don't care if you're a big success.
Josh, I don't want to die!
Josh, I know this sounds crazy,
Josh, I love "focach", but it's not from medieval times!
Josh, I occasionally love
Josh, look out!
Josh, they stole your wallet. They're bad kids.
Josh, this is awesome!
Josh, wait! You can do that here!
Josh, we can't let her go back to that school.
Josh, we didn't come all the way down
Josh, we just bought a V.I.P. pass to the aquarium,
Josh, what is he talking about?
Josh, whatever you do, don't raise your...
Josh, you finish all jobs so fast.
Josh: [ Grunts ]
Josh: Dude, what's your problem?
Josh: I don't know, I just did.
Josh: So it wasn't enough for you to ruin one friendship.
Josh: That's it!
Josh: We're live with the final event.
Josh: Yeah, but don't you remember the presentation?
Josh!
Josh!
Josh!
Josh!
Josh! Buddy!
Josh! Don't come in, don't close the door!
Josh! Emily!
Josh! Get out of here!
Josh! Huh? Excuse me?
Josh! I'm right here, okay?
Josh! Josh's wife!
Josh! La, la, la, la, la, la, la
Josh! Stop!
Josh! W W Wait, you're drinking it?
Josh! We didn't think you were coming.
Josh! What did you do?!
Josh! What is wrong with you?
Josh! What?
Josh?
Josh?
Josh?
Josh? Emily!
Josh? Oh, my God!
Josh? Where have you been?
Josh?! Dooooon't!
Josh. Emily.
Josh...
Joshua, would you like to volunteer to be room parent?
Judging by those massive crow's feet.
Jump back! I got you!
Just 'cause we're drinking lavender dreamtime tea?
Just as I will now fly across these two buildings.
Just come in at 6:45.
Just contemplating how overcrowded L.A. is...
Just do it, Bridgette!
Just get down. Enough with the pranks, Josh.
Just go get it!
Just in case, would you mind
Just like in "Logan's Run"!
Just like your apartment.
Just make sure to lock up when you're done!
Just peel and fold the blouses off that wad of irregulars.
Just say it. Never!
Just stick together. Just stick together.
Just to feel young again.
Just...climb...ladders.
Kick it old school, back to when things were the spiciest.
Kicked out of that open house.
Kids are like, echhh!
Kids today need a gimmick,
Kids who can pop and lock are a dime a dozen
Kill it at the presentation.
Kill me now. Uh oh.
Kiss me!
Knock, knock!
Last thing. "Earthquake ham."
Last time, I got to eat ice cream for dinner
Lavender dream time?
Lavender dreamtime?
Lee, I am legally not allowed to hit you.
Lee, I told you you can't be on the phone!
Lee: Yeah, that's right, girl.
Lee! Wait, hold up, girl.
Let me borrow your car.
Let me die.
Let me give you a stress free day.
Let me go, Josh! It's my time!
Let me help you with that,
Let me know when the calendar comes out, boys!
Let me tell you something!
Let's bomb the gnarliest hill in LA
Let's check upstairs!
Let's comedy rock 'n' roll!
Let's do coffee tomorrow.
Let's do it.
Let's do something we can both enjoy?
Let's get Candice out there, see what she's got.
Let's get this vasectomy party started.
Let's go check out "Helicopter Man"
Let's go do more quotes in the van.
Let's go home.
Let's hug it out.
Let's improve your test scores. It's no big deal.
Let's improve your test scores. It's no big deal.
Let's see how you fight when you're an insecure teenager!
Let's see what this is all about.
Let's see where Grandma's gonna stay.
Let's throw them both away. We can do that now!
Life doesn't have to suck, Bridgette.
Like a banana or something, but who cares?
Like how no one expects you to keep up with new music anymore?
Like I could ever be outsmarted by a Josh.
Like Icarus,
Like the rest of the house, Emily."
Like the theme song says
Like to her old school.
Like, "Hey."
Like, seriously, I'm about to get a Bird scooter home
Lil' Missy? She's in a better place now.
Listen, Em, there's something I want to
Long story short...
Look after this beautiful, angelic child?!
Look at me floss. [ Grunting ]
Look at Weird Al judging us.
Look at what they're putting in the meat.
Look at you!
Look like S H I T!
Look out the window.
Look, honey, we have a drawer like the open house.
Look, I don't want to overstep, but...
Look, I know I've been super busy with work lately,
Look, I understand if you want to bail,
Look, I'll try to take out as many people as possible,
Look, look! I'm a foot! Hwuh, hwuh, hwuh, hwuh.
Look, sorry, I know you're new here at Chamomile.
Lookin' good, Bird Josh.
Looks like someone couldn't get enough of the hat.
Lord, I'm pretty drunk,
Lot of fun, lot of fun.
Love you, too!
Lunch.
M'kay, byeeeee!
Ma, I'm trying to focus! [ Grunts ]
Made me think we're rushing into this decision.
Magic Eight Ball, are we having a great time right now?
Make those other kids' patches
Making all of Candice's lunches for the week.
Mama, mama, red pajama.
Man [ on video ]: We have this sort of, uh, spinner toy.
Man [on video ]: Hmm, what do we have here?
Man: Get the ham! Get the ham!
Man: Ready?
Man! Em is gonna be so stoked
Man's best friend, unlike stupid Alex.
Masturbate! Damn, you took my answer.
May I? Sure, as long as
Maybe a double IPA?
Maybe Bird Josh can help. Go on, find our car, boy!
Maybe go see a movie, maybe play some board games,
Maybe I can prank my way out.
Maybe I do say yes a lot, but I can't lose my job.
Maybe if we do stuff you can't do on sitcoms
Maybe it's time for a prepo zip line vacation
Maybe not, but I could beat a cool mom's ass!
Maybe she just likes fundraising.
Maybe someone's robbing the store,
Maybe we can stop by her place
Maybe we could all get together some time?
Maybe we shouldn't have the type of friendship
Maybe?
Me copied Dwell magazine.
Me dog and boy.
Me love your book.
Me mate is not here.
Me miss you guys!
Me never be safe.
Me online professor said me had nose for pros
Me only joy was watching Jim Carrey movies.
Me owner not awesome.
Me owner opposite of awesome.
Me realize it time to go.
Me think FutureViking 3030 could be franchise.
Me too.
Me too. I just like to come check out
Me try to make it homey.
Me wants to be free, free to see the world,
Me watched "The Mask" 300 times.
Me? I just turned 26
Me? Nah.
Meat factory it is.
Mediocre table service, giant snail fight,
Meet me at Ugh.
Meredith Breedmore, your day of reckoning has come!
Merely an attempt to divert attention away
Mia, we're in someone else's home.
Might as well.
Mm hmm. Good to go.
Mm, I got you now, Meredith Breedmore!
Mm. Oh.
Mm... I don't think so.
Mmm, aww.
Mmm, just look at this tum tum.
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
Mmm, more tongue, yeah.
Mmm, that's too bad.
Mmm, your hands are so soft.
Mmm!
Mmm! Look what Ron just sent.
Mmm...
Mmmm! Mmm.
Mmmm... That one!
Mom didn't pack it.
Mom Emily would answer that.
Mom, why does this guy call Dad "that guy"?
Mom, you're supposed to be retired from cop stuff!
Mom! Look my first paycheck.
Mom! Mia broke my piggy bank!
Mom! Mom?
Mommy! You ready to have a week of fun on the beach?
Mommy's too busy to care now.
More like 20% off Ethernet cables that no one uses.
Mornin', Mr. Singleton!
Morning, Candice. May I present to you...
Most parents at this school
Mother
Mother of candies!
Move!
Mr. Campbell just wants to ask you something
Mr. Salt, the dinner's in an hour.
Mr. Salt: "Condom Found in Woman's Can"?
Mr. Salt: Emily, I need you
Mr. Salt: Wow. I gotta hand it to you, Ramirez.
Mugs of grog for ye and ye mate.
Mugs of grog for ye and ye mate.
Murder?!
Musician Emily does not pick up.
My armor? What? Why would I need that?
My book? But I thought you ripped it up?
My buddy's a professor at Yale,
My dad never took me skating,
My daughter's the same waaait a minute,
My December opens up a bit during winter break, or in 2032,
My feelings about all this have changed, too...
My freaking Togo's card was in that wallet.
My iCal is totally full, love you guys!
My job gets us important stuff, too.
My last fortune cookie did tell me to "Trust Josh more."
My lords, welcome back.
My mom just snuck off to Palm Springs with some rando!
My mom won't play board games with me, either.
My name is Calamari.
My note Add more nips.
My old man never took me skating.
My Spanish homework, my history homework...
My triplets are a real pain in the tuchus.
My wallet! Hey, kid!
Nah, I'm a big boy.
Nah, there's gotta be something better.
Nah, you guys do your thing, I'll go do my thing.
Narrator: Sand.
Nash Man Games?
Nash: His game "Dudeman" was the shizz!
Nature calls, and I'm not talking about Machu Picchu.
Need him for next book.
Never gonna be mine, never gonna be mine, never gonna be mine.
Never say, "I can't," always say, "I'll try."
Never!
Never! Never! Ah!
Next door.
Next!
Nibble on the vegetation.
Nibble on the vegetation.
Nice family, loser.
Nice try, Janet.
Nice! What's your name, shorty?
Nikki, hey!
Nikki? We're just buds! We like to horse around
Nikki. I'm Billy's mom.
Nishquantasi.
No cuts and longer than it needs to be.
No doubt.
No doubt. Goosh out!
No doubt. No doubt, no doubt, no doubt, no doubt.
No doubt. No doubt, no doubt. Josh, this is insane!
No help needed.
No matter what happens, we'll be fine.
No matter what I'm writing, whether it's "Eat It"
No mercy, Mia!
No more tough days for you! We're busting you outta here!
No one can help her.
No one has so far.
No one has so far.
No one knows his part!
No one plays that game anymore!
No one remembers that, Josh! Why are you doing this?
No one touches my ma!
No phones allowed!
No problem.
No reversies. No call backs.
No rules, just right.
No spark is worth this.
No Stress is my middle name.
No way!
No way! Game over, Dudeman.
No way! How old are you?
No, he probably has a parody phone
No, I meant this weekend, like, now!
No, I promise I'll put 100% of my mind to it.
No, I told you guys, I deleted my Facebook.
No, I'm cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I'm doing the world a service, better animal
No, I'm just going to a funeral.
No, I'm sorry.
No, it's fine.
No, it's not.
No, Josh, wait!
No, man, a deck. I want a skateboard.
No, Mom, I'm good now.
No, no, I don't want to interrupt your day.
No, no, I've literally got a magic hat
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No big deal, Alex.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no. Come on. Come on. What?
No, no, no!
No, no, no. They got our hams!
No, no, no. You're right.
No, that's a bear.
No, the process is completely automated with AI.
No, they're just joking around.
No, we're just glorified assistants
No, we're...
No!
No!
No!
No!
No! Billy's not real!
No! Don't touch anything!
No! Hurry, Bridgette.
No! I know.
No! It's not true!
No! Josh!
No! That's disgusting!
No! Wait!
No! We're good. We'll do the picking.
No? Nobody saw that movie?
No. I'm
No. I'm your dad. That's... never mind.
No. It was my choice. Weird.
No. Look, don't ruin this for me.
No. No, it's not.
No. Why?
Nobody likes fundraising, Josh.
Nooo...
Noooo! Everyone over 30 must die!
Nooooo!
Noooooooo!
Noooooooo!
Nooooooooo!
Nope, haven't seen him, uh, no dogs in the building!
Nope.
Nope. All good in the 'hood.
Not co room parenting with Nikki anymore?
Not for her!
Not happening.
Not if we do it first!
Not like we used to be.
Not one step closer, gentleman!
Not so spicy.
Not sure what it means, but I like it.
Not to be rude, but... [chuckles nervously]
Not?
Now be the rock, Josh!
Now can we do something we're all...
Now that I'm a father!
Now that is how you distract everyone
Now you can finally drink tea.
Now you say one of Ethan Hawke's lines.
Now you're gonna die,
Now, how about your pubic area?
Now, if you'll excuse me,
Now, imagine these g****s are your testes.
Now, let me be. These pain pills should be kicking in any min
Now, let's do other sex stuff.
Now!
O M G!
Of course I do.
Of course not!
Of course you're smart.
Of course!
Of course. Let's respect all creatures.
Of slithering down the streets of Cuernavaca,
Of the government conspiracy
Oh my God, Dad, that's Bob Jonesworth! Dad?
Oh my God, Josh, that board is $100.
Oh, actually, that's pretty close. Manslaughter!
Oh, all righty then.
Oh, are you looking to connect with people?
Oh, baby, if the streets of LA
Oh, but it's probably empty
Oh, but... is it painful?
Oh, can I help you with some watches?
Oh, do you want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?
Oh, don't be modest.
Oh, geez! Oh, geez!
Oh, God! Aah!
Oh, God.
Oh, good, you here!
Oh, good.
Oh, great, now you say something interesting.
Oh, great! We don't even have any food!
Oh, gross.
Oh, hello, Goosh!
Oh, hey, I got you something.
Oh, hey! You made it!
Oh, hey.
Oh, honey, the school doesn't have the legal team for that.
Oh, I know.
Oh, I like this one.
Oh, I think both me and Dog Boy
Oh, I thought we should celebrate,
Oh, I walked right into that burn.
Oh, I want that. Yeah...
Oh, I'm doing this.
Oh, I'm sure it was an accident.
Oh, is this your daughter?
Oh, it's probably just the Cohens' bat mitzvah party
Oh, Josh, you find that Togo's punch card?
Oh, man!
Oh, man! Boo!
Oh, man. Oh, man, oh, man.
Oh, my friend here just gave me
Oh, my God isn't real, you're jealous.
Oh, my God, lady, just say balls!
Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God!
Oh, my God, triplets! What if it's triplets?!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Billy's dead!
Oh, my God! Is everything okay?
Oh, my God! It's real!
Oh, my God! Okay. You gotta find a new crew.
Oh, my God! That bear is mauling Weird Al!
Oh, my God! What's that?!
Oh, my God! You're a baby?!
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. She just makes me want to learn.
Oh, my God. She's so hot.
Oh, my God. That's all you make?
Oh, my God. Wait.
Oh, my gosh! I love Butterfly Barn!
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, no, me just rip up part
Oh, no, uh...
Oh, no, we're not Oh, come on, Mom.
Oh, no!
Oh, no! Kevin Costner's head from "Waterworld"!
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no. And ooh, hey,
Oh, oh, okay. First of all, there are no sides.
Oh, she's just aching for that J dog D.
Oh, shi...
Oh, so now my feedback is too dumb for you?
Oh, sorry, Dorp.
Oh, thank God.
Oh, thank God. Whoa. Whoa.
Oh, thanks, uh...
Oh, thanks.
Oh, there will be Dorpenbabies in the future...
Oh, this is so addictive!
Oh, this one will really show we're in love.
Oh, ugh, ugh.
Oh, uh, I don't know where to throw this garbage.
Oh, wait shazam!
Oh, wait. No, that's my bad.
Oh, we always keep some around in case of a shortage.
Oh, whew!
Oh, wow.
Oh, yeah, me not testing well among 18 to 34 year olds.
Oh, yeah, one, two, three, for, five.
Oh, yeah, you're not supposed to give her candy.
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, you can't stand to see me finally over you.
Oh, you guys are just kids? Wh Where are your parents?
Oh, you keep all those things.
Oh, you're selling Nintendos? [ Bell ringing ]
Oh! Candice!
Oh! Hohohohohohoho.
Oh! I just realized we can finally get our own house
Oh! Whoa! Aaah! Ooh!
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. [ Breathing heavily ]
Oh. All right. Ooh.
Oh. It looks like a piece of plastic?
Oh. More Jim Carrey fans. Delightful.
Oh. Okay.
Oh. Right. You and Alex should go in our place.
Oh. They grow up so fast, don't they?
Oh. Totally.
Oh. You're gonna want The Goosh.
Ohh, I I know I'm not your dad.
Ohh!
Ohh!
Ohh! Bitch, use your words!
Ohh! Huh?
Ohh! I see it now.
Ohh! Orgasm?!
Ohh! So, there's not gonna be any stunts?!
Ohh. How did this happen?
Ohh...
Ohh...
Ohhh, God! No, no, no, I wanna live!
Oho, these guys.
Oho! Wipeout!
Okay I've got my algebra homework,
Okay, class. Line up for Yoga Snack Time.
Okay, fine.
Okay, guys, remember the family heritage event is tomorrow,
Okay, I can see where you're coming from, and you're right.
Okay, I want to get off now.
Okay, I'll admit that was pretty cool.
Okay, it was not used. It's not just the garden.
Okay, Mommy's going to work on the garden for your class,
Okay, now, do you see here
Okay, she's coming, she's coming how do I look?
Okay, so the circus was in town last week,
Okay, we need a crazy publicity stunt to distract everyone.
Okay, what am I supposed to do?
Okay, whatever.
Okay, you're right.
Okay!
Okay.
Okay. [ Knock on door ]
Okay. I am dead inside.
Okay. I was, but look how cute Candice is being!
Okay. I'll handle it.
Okay. I'm done.
Okay. Let's take a deep breath.
Okay. Make it quick,
Okay. So...
Okay. That is pretty cool.
Okay. What do all people love to do with their hands?
Okay. What's your game, Meredith?
Okay. You got me? Pfft.
Okay. Your favorite Viking erotica?
Okay. Your wingman job is done.
Old as "F."
Old!
Old?
Old.
On a Friday night, you can just stay in
On homework technique and containers.
On my way home, I passed the Domingo's truck,
On our bedroom role play.
On our Medieval Times aversary, but I am willing to pregame
On some overly manicured beach.
On these years and think,
On YouTube. Go!
One of my students posted this video on Instagram,
Only old people use Facebook.
Oof! Ah!
Ooh, Bridgette's on a budget!
Ooh, I'll sign for that. Business!
Ooh, I'm so sorry, accidental hand raises
Ooh, respect.
Ooh, somebody is full.
Ooh, talking sperm!
Ooh, that really pissed her off.
Ooh, the press is gonna eat this up.
Ooh, yeah! Woo!
Ooh, yeah. I'm gonna getcha.
Ooh, yeah. Woo!
Ooh, you're looking real fine with that staple gun.
Ooh!
Ooh! Crackers! The big "C"!
Ooh! Let's go get those pan que ques!
Ooh.
Ooh. Immune feels like too strong of a word.
Ooof. Ooof.
Ooooh! Ugh! Whoo!
Oops. That always happens.
Oowie.
Open houses give me the strength to deal
Or "Amish Paradise,"
Or dog chow, so I got both for toni
Or shaped into a little triangle?
Or the toxic fumes in this alley,
Or this? Whaa!
Or use these chubby little legs of yours to run to Chinatown
Or whatever that one game was called.
Or you won't break through to them.
Our dad's a Republican senator from Florida.
Our kids are really getting along.
Our little garden is turning into
Our mom thought it would be good for our careers.
Our next scam buttholes!
Our smart little girl.
Out of that project.
Over the age of 30 and not get executed?
Over there!
Ow! Ah!
Ow! Ugh!
Owww, stop it! I'm telling Dad!
Paid, right?
Pardon me, sir?
Party's over. Good luck with your hangover.
Partying, skating,
PBS Kids and chill,
Peace out! Mia, you're driving!
Pearl is hanging out with Candice,
Perfect. Have fun... in Hell!
Perhaps I can be of service.
Perhaps I was talking too fast for you.
Pfft, and we haven't written a new song since.
Pfft! So random.
Pfft! What are you talking about?
Pfft. I could do that.
Pfft. Of course.
Pft, you busting my balls, man?
Phew, okay.
Play date. 4:00.
Play this right, and you'll get a waffle cone.
Please, miss, we're not bad kids.
Please, Mom, I'm not some baby.
Please.
Pleather makes me rashy.
Plus four milly on Insta.
Post up!
Practical effects are back in demand,
Prank war is back on! Whoo!
Prank war is on!
Prank war is over.
Prank war!
Prank war! [ Laughing ]
Pranking's a young man's game.
Pranks for playing"?
Prepo who cares?
Press the screen to buy now.
Pretty lights!
Pretty terrifying journey, right?
Professor, a little help!
Professor!
Proving I'm not dumb!
Psh! Current day you is a total failure!
Psst! Aah! Dante?
Puncture the heel of my left foot
Quick! Hide!
Quoting "The Cable Guy" was our thing.
Rage all night
Rage on!
Randy, go save your mom!
Randy, set a plate!
Randy, why are you here?!
Rar! Ah! Mmm, mmm, mmm.
Ready for a day of skipping rocks, bro?
Ready?
Really, really great.
Really? [ Chuckles ] Wow.
Really? Oh, yeah.
Really? Why?
Really? Yeah!
Red light, red light, red light!
Red light, red light!
Relax, Em. This is just another prank.
Relax. He has no idea.
Remember how cool these were?
Remember that tree in the graveyard?
Remember when we got to the top?
Remember?
Reservation under Ron, maybe Ronald 'cause he's classy.
Respect the bet!
Respect, dude. No doubt.
Responsible and sexy. It's the new me.
Rich guy answering the phone!
Right, bae? Uhh...
Right...hon?
Road trip! Road trip!
Robot: [ Boston accent ] Never heard of the guy.
Ron is the first guy I've met
Ron, Joy,
Ron... Oh, wait. What?
Room parent for life!
Run for me, my tiny beauty!
Run!
Run!
Running around out there.
Saffron, she's a staff writer for Goop Kids.
Samsung paid him a hundred grand to unbox a Galaxy,
Sand & Bone.
Sand.
Sand.
Sand.
Say goodbye to your sleep!
Say some of that stuff you said on our honeymoon.
Says here you ordered it three days ago.
School is important, but it's better to just find
Scrode likey. [ Giggles ]
See you guys.
See you on the other side, losers!
See, this is why you live unplugged.
See? Open houses aren't boring.
See? That's why I'm not having kids.
Self destruct!
Self destruct.
Sequel?
Seriously? You had to do this in the kitchen?
Seven. A thousand dollars?!
Sex it up a little, you know?
Shaky! Shaky! Shaky!
She burned at stake.
She doesn't know the difference.
She force me to act in these movies.
She has very strong legs.
She just offered to be my co room parent.
She left 30 minutes ago.
She lives in a yurt, a totally unplugged lifestyle.
She loves getting scared.
She made Mr. Campbell give himself a time out.
She once brilliant scientist,
She terrifies me.
She told me to wash my balls.
She treated me like I was special
She was married to the greatest stuntman of all time.
She's a great kid.
She's all jacked up on candy.
She's been failing all her recent tests.
She's gonna go easy on her, right?
She's so cool.
Shh shh shh shh shh shh.
Shh, shh, shh. It's okay. That's okay.
Shh! Just cross your legs. It's almost over.
Shit.
Shit.
Shoot, I'd go back on that teat.
Shopping, barrel aged cocktails, and, oh!
Should get you to remember the Pythagorean theorem!
Should have stayed dead, moldy bitch!
Should it be so surprising to see a miracle
Should someone help that woman?
Should we just... call it a night?
Sign here, please.
Sign me up for karate classes!
Silence!
Silence! You're getting this procedure, bro!
Since Alex who seems like he could be something.
Since baby Yoko came along.
Since I'm an expert haggler, I'll buy the fabric.
Since they're not paying attention, you want a reading?
Single use.
Six figures! Buying it!
Skate Dad is not too old to bomb Baxter Street!
Skate Dad.
Skate Dad.
Skate or die! Whooo!
SMH, bruh.
Snailathan Gold: Don't stop now. You were doing such a good job.
Snapchat! Venmo? Uh...
So Candice needs to step it up then.
So check out should be fast.
So embarrassing.
So glad we can send her to that school.
So glad we got divorced before that happened.
So God can't judge you.
So Gucci, right?
So I came up with a plan.
So I can finally savor some pork dumplings!
So I don't know.
So I got us reservations tomorrow at Napquinne.
So I like to go to open houses
So I think, "Hey, maybe the fridge.
So I went back to the skate shop
So I wouldn't remember they were late.
So I'll just, uh, leave these by the door then, or...?
So if you've got any extra installations I could do
So it actually happened.
So it's, like...I don't want anybody to see it
So lit. Thanks.
So long, Josh!
So much for rich family
So open houses are more of a guilty pleasure.
So stupid. Pff. Hmph.
So that you and Candice wouldn't find out.
So that's how I gave Michael Douglas throat cancer.
So we bailed on Brainio for Sand and Bone io!
So we can hook up on my nana's grave.
So we can present it at the event in the morning.
So we can't go anywhere?
So we could afford a better school district for Candice,
So we just climb the ladders?
So we're looking at open houses.
So weird.
So what's up, girl? You wanna come back to my crib?
So you aren't cheating on me?
So you could die doing this stunt
So you weren't being tortured?
So you're coming to my school today to garden with us?
So you're not even a parent at the school?
So you're not gonna lose your shit?
So you're the ones behind the SoCal ham shortage.
So, any feedback?
So, anyway, some work stuff came up,
So, as I was predicting...
So, can I help you pick a deck, here?
So, do you guys care if Candice stays at the school or not?
So, I told them,
So, I work too, which I want to,
So, long story short, Emily thinks we're millionaires,
So, this means you're buying my game?
So, to prevent further mishaps,
So, today, we're learning
So, uh, where is it?
So, you're gonna be my surgeon?
So...
So...you guys are really good at sewing?
Some parents are just out of sight, out of mind.
Some people have no class.
Some really thorough notes on my book.
Somebody get these MF'ing snakes off this MF'ing stage!
Someday, you'll be bombing hills just like your dad used to.
Something very exciting. Ooo.
Something you're passionate about.
Something's telling me do not get a vasectomy!
Son of a glitch.
Son of bitch!
Soooo Gucci.
Sorry I got too obsessed with bargaining.
Sorry I spent all our money on zoot suits and churros.
Sorry, Billy!
Sorry, can't.
Sorry, Em. Mess is part of my process,
Sorry, I'm not great at echoes.
Sorry, robots.
Sorry, the orders for those Emily real dolls
Sorry!
Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you.
Sorry. We haven't seen him.
Sounds like the perfect place to kill someone.
Spare parts.
Speaking of shots!
Special delivery of those
Sperm...donor?
Start it up, Janet!
Stop it! Don't you see what they're doing?!
Stop!
Stop! Candice!
Stop! It's only danger ahead!
Stopping at a scary truck stop late at night!
Streaming on Crackle or
Stripper clowns, hamburglers,
Stupid prank war!
Stupid taxes!
Sure thing, hon!
Sure, Candice. Let your landlord, Pearl,
Sure, they're a little grungy, a little cluttered,
Sure! She invited me over
Sweet cashmere Jesus!
Sweet vasectomy party, bro!
Ta da! Eggs Bunny dict!
Take Alex with you.
Take care of it for you.
Take her away, boys.
Take it, Dog Boy!
Take us with you! [ Tires screech ]
Taking a nap again, Morales?
Taking notes, Tony Hawk?
Taking revenge on the cartel that killed your partner?
Talk about the fundraiser,
Talking about our feelings!
Talking to the hottest guy right now.
Tampons soaked in vodka, and your favorite
Teddy, how am I gonna bond with my daughter?
Terrible!
Th They punched Bush Guy so hard he got cancer?
Than I thought they would be.
Than this junk chunk.
Thank you, brain.
Thank you, Josh!
Thank you, Rogaine!
Thank you!
Thank you.
Thank you. I got sushi shaped like steak.
Thank you. I'm so glad you can afford this now.
Thanks a lot, Mom. You set off all the booby traps.
Thanks for doing this.
Thanks for letting me pretend like
Thanks, Dad.
Thanks, Ezra. I won't let you down.
Thanks, Mr. Salt.
Thanks, Papa Goosh!
Thanks. I think so, too.
Thanks. Look out!
That can slow down time.
That checks out. My bad! [ Laughs ]
That doesn't seem like it takes a lot of work
That dude flew way too close to the Sun.
That dude just got ass knifed!
That has stopped us from connecting as people.
That hummingbird nose...
That I could fulfill my dream,
That I get to do with my daughter.
That is a novelty thermometer for the fundraiser.
That is...so gross.
That knows how to wear underpants?
That man's no Skate Dad.
That shouldn't be in here.
That sounds great. Thanks, Nikki.
That sounds pretty cool.
That sounds really awesome.
That squirrel kind of looks like Candice.
That still has ham.
That stunt began in ancient Egypt
That TV's busted again?
That used to be skinnier and without a beard.
That was on purpose!
That was really brave of you to stand up to Jojo.
That was so epic.
That was the price for the quilt, remember?
That we're breezing through this list.
That we're totally the best parents at that school!
That word means enthusiast,
That would be [ Footsteps departing ]
That would be admitting we're old lame os.
That you feel like you're in high school,
That'd be creepy.
That'll be quite enough, boys.
That's "Bay Watch" money.
That's a little inappropriate for children.
That's awesome!
That's because you're all old now.
That's debatable!
That's great!
That's inhuman!
That's it!
That's it! We're conjoining too!
That's me.
That's my urine. Uh...
That's no dog.
That's really great, Candice.
That's right. I owned cassette singles!
That's the coolest thing I've ever seen!
That's the thirstiest "Hey" I've ever heard.
That's them, right there.
That's what pushed us to do well.
That's why I take Mia to this wrestling class.
That's why I try to escape.
That's why it tastes so good.
That's why she's crushing bitches!
That's why you named this place "Logan's"?
The arm! Bridgette, over here!
The big "C."
The cashier? Nah. He doesn't know what he's doing.
The children will no longer be learning acupuncture.
The children's tuxedos won't return themselves.
The Chinese after them,
The coolest moms around.
The deal fell through, and I didn't sell the game.
The demon song god?
The Family Bike is here!
The French had their spin on it,
The Goosh: Yeah! great job, guys! Whooo!
The Internet has made us all ruthless animals.
The Japanese woman? Oh, no, the other one.
The most annoying sound in the world?
The most expensive restaurant in L.A.?
The only thing on the menu... [ Squish ]
The questions are too tough.
The real me is right here!
The red knight is going down, yep, cool.
The robots are ready for you!
The single moms.
The Spring Break crew has arrived!
The students loved my special lecture
The surprise is, we're reliving our first date tonight!
The tree is not the issue!
The truth is, I haven't been real with any of you.
The truth is, I love the band,
The way his eyes tear up when he tastes mustard.
The Widow Maker.
Then how do you explain this? Aah!
Then I guess I'll uncancel all my meetings
Then it becomes a pub!
Then so be it.
Then strike me down right now!
There are plenty of video games in the world already.
There are so many ways to create a great piece of art.
There is a woman covered in filth in the bathroom.
There she is.
There was only one item left on the list.
There's a pearl in here.
There's no room for human error!
There's no way I can finish this garden.
There's no way that you're hanging out with Dog Boy.
There's something really wrong with that guy.
There's something wrong with the kids.
These are the only parents we got!
These new thunder pants are louder
These questions are kind of hard.
They 3 D print your toilet.
They found me!
They got conjoined when they were together,
They might as well be living in the goddamn Matrix.
They serve tomato bisque soup with focaccia dippers.
They sing your songs all the time.
They were all out of knife.
They'll kill us all.
They're all the pieces that make up your smile.
They're going to a holding cell downtown.
They're gonna make the family quilt for us!
They're making this weird noise, and they won't stop.
They're so tiny.
Thine dippers are delicious,
This anniversary gift's never gonna look casually artful!
This dude knows what time it is!
This dude's pushing 50!
This empty space is where Candice's project would go.
This game isn't even finished?
This game! This game!
This grog just tastes like horse pee.
This guy knows what time it is!
This is a bad idea.
This is a professional operation.
This is Alex, my ex.
This is all my fault.
This is better.
This is Billie. 'Sup?
This is insane!
This is officially the worst brunch I've ever been to.
This is serious.
This is so me and Ron.
This is so not happening.
This is so...
This is the ♪ perfect house ♪
This is Toluca Lake.
This isn't just hanging out to me, Em.
This local meat artisan runs the only business in town
This mayo is getting more action than I am.
This place is ridiculous!
This should be the last level of the game!
This stupid robot is ruining my life!
This was supposed to be my fun thing
This wasn't in the video!
This whole thing it's a sitcom.
This woman couldn't look more "stereotypical prisoner."
This... is "Clap Like This."
Those are the tough days.
Those guys are ripping everybody off!
Though in your case, girl,
Thought you were a really nice person,
Thought you were VIPs for a second there.
Thread! Does anyone have any thread?
Thread?
Three days?! Where the hell is Emily?
Three hours without checking her phone once.
Three more shots, please.
Three? Bridgette!
Till Emily and Bridgette come out?
Till you start doing things for yourself.
Time for bed!
Time to see who owns that damn van.
Tins!
Tip?
To be on a budget.
To be or not to be! Ugh!
To be room parent and put on a fundraiser.
To being lit!
To being lit! To being lit!
To Candice.
To desperately cling to your lost youth?
To get back from the bathroom.
To have us overpopulate the United States for tax revenue.
To help me beta test my new game.
To learn the choreography to teach the children.
To make Candice get all the answers right.
To make your own choices?
To new best friends!
To new friends!
To overpopulate the planet.
To pick up the mini tuxes from the rental place
To protect the sheep, you got to catch the wolf,
To pursue a career in poppin' and lockin'.
To save money, my family lives with a divorced couple,
To see that your marriage is like that salsa:
To the desert? Sure!
To the Fashion District to get churros.
To the pumpkin patch tonight.
To the time period!
To this mind numbing behavior
To your nuts!
Together: At home caytion!
Together: Mummy. Daddy.
Together: Spring break!
Together: Spring break!
Together: We can run errands!
Together: Whoa!
Together: Yes! Oh, okay, just checking.
Together.
Tonight, we're finally meeting face to face.
Top of the line robots from Boston!
Total S H I T!
Totally.
Trish is so norm core, it's sad.
Trouble in mom i dise?
Troutface, and Scrode.
Try the window!
Turn off the thermostat!
Turn on "Clap Like This"! Screen share!
Twist 'em! Twist 'em!
Two nosey nerds!
Ugh, another sexy night
Ugh, can you believe he still asked me out on a date?
Ugh, Can't get a moment's peace.
Ugh, he spent way too long in the car
Ugh, I can't believe you brought your daughter.
Ugh, I do, man.
Ugh, I don't want to.
Ugh, our Gotye parody is still relevant!
Ugh, there's nowhere to sit, and my back is killing me!
Ugh, what even is a vasectomy party,
Ugh, what's wrong with me?
Ugh, without Alex here,
Ugh, you guys are the worst.
Ugh, you're just gonna let her do that, Mom?
Ugh, your metaphors are really terrible!
Ugh!
Ugh!
Ugh!
Ugh!
Ugh!
Ugh!
Ugh!
Ugh!
Ugh!
Ugh!
Ugh!
Ugh!
Ugh! [ Bang ]
Ugh! [ Groans ]
Ugh! ♪ If you wanna have a good time, just give me a call ♪
Ugh! Ah...
Ugh! God no.
Ugh! I don't cling to my lost youth!
Ugh! Oh! Oh, whoa!
Ugh! Ohh.
Ugh! You're missing a lot of stuff 'cause of work.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Ugh. [ Laughing ]
Ugh. Get in here, Candice!
Ugh. This will put my PhD in anthropology
Ugh. What?
Uh oh.
Uh oh. [ Cheering ]
Uh, actually, the loan out company requires
Uh, clapping.
Uh, don't worry. It happens to a lot of guys.
Uh, excuse me, bros.
Uh, excuse me, sir. Obviously, you're a little agitated.
Uh, from from Germany. [ Laughs ]
Uh, guys, there are a lot of buttons with letters on them.
Uh, guys?
Uh, listen, I can't go today.
Uh, Mom, you look like you could use a glass of water.
Uh, n now?
Uh, no disrespect, Josh, but I don't think that's a good idea.
Uh, no doy.
Uh, no, it's Notschstolen.
Uh, no, thanks. I don't believe in that stuff.
Uh, oh, uh, yeah, uh, down, down, down,
Uh, okay, just this once.
Uh, righteous dicks?
Uh, sorry to drop in on you like this.
Uh, stop trying so hard?
Uh, uh. Ah.
Uh, uh...
Uh, we'll go to the cemetery later.
Uh, we're looking for a skateboard for our daughter.
Uh, what's the right answer?
Uh, yeah, just hang on. I gotta take this call.
Uh, yes, please!
Uh, yes, please!
Uh, you got anything more Dad speed?
Uh, you sure about that, Pacquiao?
Uh! Josh! You had one job!
Uh...
Uh...
Uh...
Uh...
Uh...
Uh...
Uh... Dave!
Uh... Oh, my God!
Uh...because...
Uh...but that can't be legally
Uh...hey, I'm gonna go take this call
Uh...hi, Mr. Salt.
Uh...I can't believe we ran into Candice's teacher.
Uh...no, I meant...
Uh...ohh.
Uh...yeah?
Uhh, that's a different lesson!
Uhh...
Uhhh.
Uhhh. [ Cellphone buzzing ]
Uhhh...yeah.
Um, e excuse me. Uh, is this your phone?
Um, hamburglers are an entirely different
Um, I got a boner right now,
Um, maybe eating something might make you feel better?
Um, only everyone.
Um, they're playing that movie "Goonies," right?
Um... No harm in looking.
Um...look at them!
Um...that's
Um...well... I...
Under a tablecloth?
Unfortunately, the hat's only for the garden.
Ungh! Aaaaaaaaaah!
Unh!
Unh...
University of Phoenix. Go, browsers!
Unless you finally finish your game!
Unless you want me to.
Until she not like the way me act.
Us communicating like this is responsible.
Vasectomy party! Whoo!
Very cool. Let's go. No!
Very...uncool!
Violation! Violation! Violation!
VIP? Ohh, man.
Vis a vis, uh, sniffing on those buttholes, uh...
W where's thine armor?
Wah, wah, wee, wah!
Wah, wah, wee, wah.
Wah! Oof!
Wait how old are you?
Wait, I thought the children would help me garden.
Wait, I'm just folding shirts?
Wait, isn't he, like, some big YouTuber?
Wait, it's not closing time?
Wait, this is actually kind of fun.
Wait, this totally isn't a sweatshop, right?
Wait, wait. I have an idea.
Wait, what? You're not our dad.
Wait, why did you bake it into the tart?
Wait, you taught Candice to skate?
Wait! I haven't taught you about street bombing yet!
Wait! I was trying to talk you out of it, you idiot!
Wait! Over here!
Wait! Wait! Wait!
Wait! You can't leave us like this!
Wait. Did you say "Training Day"?
Wait. What do you mean you're a father?
Wait... you have the keys, right?
Want to help me trim Candice's fingernails?
Was that piggy bank stifling your voice?
Wasn't that just named
Watch and learn.
Watch your freakin' driving!
We 69ed so hard we passed out.
We actually moved to Los Angeles
We all want eyes on us,
We always have the earthquake ham.
We are going to write so many songs!
We bet our lives.
We bet our lives...
We came to the woods to write a new comedy song.
We can do whatever we want!
We can get out of here!
We can go. What? Why?
We can't afford a foot massager.
We can't be dead. No way!
We can't leave him!
We can't let anyone in here know we're over 30.
We can't!
We can't. We gotta
We could squeeze in another kid, right?
We discovered something living in her pit.
We doing a purge?
We don't need to hug it out.
We get to take care of Candy Cane?!
We go where the road takes us, come on!
We got to get him to the jail.
We got you good, man.
We gotta find Bridgette and get outta here!
We gotta jet, but hit me up on the Facebook.
We have nothing holding us back!
We have our room parent for the year!
We have to follow the format, not fight it.
We have to get out of here!
We have to take him to the hospital."
We have, like, an extra 30 minutes to hang out.
We haven't had a night to ourselves in five years.
We just heard you crash yours into that tree.
We just sold 100 million copies of our latest app,
We just talked all night.
We kind of need you around.
We learned a lot.
We like it a lot. We like it a lot.
We like to say, "If you're 23, you're fine with me.
We lost the condo, and Candice isn't smart.
We make our family decisions as a family!
We met when I was undercover with Big Donnie's crew.
We might even have a little sex.
We need a volunteer to be room parent!
We need to go to a cabin in the woods
We never finished Grave Rollers from last night.
We only came here so Toluca can use the bathroom.
We only count the numbers on the left side of the decimal.
We saw everything.
We should go grab a drink after I crush this stunt!
We should've just pushed her towards sports.
We sort of didn't tell her.
We told our boss, Richard, and he flipped out.
We tried to save Dog Boy together.
We used to do that bit all the time at the apartment.
We used to have sex a lot,
We want the fame, the fortune, the cover of the magazine!
We weighed all the pros and cons.
We were all cut off when we turned 26, Bridge.
We were gonna have satisfactory marriage sex,
We were having another baby, we freaked.
We were just exploring potential places to hold the fundraiser.
We were young, dumb, and matching tattoos
We won't be able to afford a new playground!
We'd kind of just let it slide.
We'll give this at home caytion a shot.
We'll have you ollyin' in no time!
We'll just bring him on Spring Break with us.
We'll just go in through the kitchen.
We'll lose our audience. That's it!
We'll naked wrestle these guys!
We'll party just like the old days
We'll take my spy van.
We'll take the Satan board.
We'll talk more about this later!
We're actually getting unconjoined next month,
We're all gonna do pranks on each other. It'll be fun!
We're going to do this every year
We're going to down a batch of my latest.
We're gonna find out!
We're gonna go to that factory, and we're gonna get a ham.
We're gonna have a fancy celebration dinner,
We're gonna settle this old school.
We're gonna talk about this later!
We're here!
We're just doing our taxes, sweetie!
We're just happy you're okay, Dog Boy!
We're leaving.
We're looking at the big "M."
We're never going to write anything
We're never gonna make this quilt in time!
We're not going to die!
We're not gonna be buying your game. What?!
We're not gross,
We're not having a baby. No, no, no. No.
We're still waiting for my husband
We've been drifting apart.
We've gone every year on this day since high school.
We've gotta get this quilt to Candice before school!
We've still got strings.
Welcome to Ladder World!
Welcome, everyone.
Well, all the tests came back.
Well, anyway, thanks for plugging in my TV!
Well, as soon as I'm a little less wasted,
Well, at least vasectomies are reversible, right?
Well, check this out, Dorp.
Well, come in.
Well, congratulations, dummy.
Well, everybody's fine,
Well, how do we get out?
Well, I actually studied scaring
Well, I'm an emancipated minor,
Well, I'm glad you're safe now.
Well, I'm officially done.
Well, if being complicit is wrong,
Well, it sounds like he and Joy had a transformative experience
Well, it's like a thing
Well, it's possible she's just...
Well, look who's here.
Well, look. Nothing.
Well, sometimes he shows us new pubic hair designs.
Well, sweetie, some of us have to learn
Well, that's its home now.
Well, then maybe I'm quitting the band!
Well, this has been fun, but I have children to rob.
Well, this one's on sale.
Well, time to go.
Well, toilets don't plug in, so...
Well, well, well.
Well, well, well.
Well, what's that supposed to mean?
Well, why don't you put your phone down
Well, you can't let things stifle your voice.
Well, you quit the band a long time ago!
Well, you're just like a fat bearded sweater
Well, your vagina might have to stay dry because...ta da!
Welp, back to jail.
Were you at least gonna call the cops?
Weren't strong enough to express our love.
Wha
Wha W where's Candice? Where is she?!
Wha Wha
Wha aaah!
Wha...? What, of who?
Whah!
What a beautiful day.
What a legend.
What a pleasant surprise. Come on in.
What a rush!
What a rush.
What about her testing your performance?
What about my animals?
What am I looking at? Oh, that?
What am I wearing?
What animals?
What are they doing?
What are you doing here?
What are you doing here?
What are you doing to my friend?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
What are you doing? I've got a job!
What brings you here, Mona?
What can we can do to fix this?
What did your parents say?
What do you mean you can't buy the game?
What guy? This guy?
What happened to being the "Face of 23"?
What happened to the British kids?
What happened? Are you done with the robot?
What if I have more boxes to pack with other kids' clothes?
What if I made you a deal?
What if I'm not ready to tape up boxes?
What if we sponsor a garden at my assistant's kid's school?
What if we were co room parents?
What is happening?
What is happening?
What is it, Lee?
What is that, an expression?
What is wrong with people?
What the hell are you doing?!
What the hell are you guys Oh, crap!
What the hell! That thing ate my manuscript?
What the hell?
What the hell?
What the hell?
What the hell?
What the hell? Ugh! Ow!
What the?! Randy?
What the...
What the... Oh, check this out.
What the...?
What up, what up, what up!
What up? Let me see those hands up in the air!
What was that?
What were you doing here in the first place?
What you're gonna want to do is lean with the wind.
What, are we supposed to inspect every can now?
What?
What?
What? Huh?
What? I did not ditch you.
What? I'm not old.
What? No!
What? No!
What? No! I'm trying to make this!
What? We're here to shred.
What? Why? We live together.
What? Why? We're spicy.
What? You know I'm insecure about my feet.
What?!
What?!
What?!
What?!
What?! [ Bird squawks ]
What?! Just do it!
What?! No!
What?! No!
What?! No! I I must have seen it
What?! No! The Viking stuff!
What?! Since you tried beating the system,
What?! Why? We're We're hella young.
What?! You're not a failure.
What're you If you want to make some extra cash,
What's a guy got to do to get a few shots around here?
What's casually artful?
What's going on here?
What's going on?
What's happening?
What's it called?
What's so funny?
What's that now? I'm sorry?
What's that?
What's the pay? Mid to low two figures.
What's this? It's a prank war!
What's with all that dinging?
What's your deal?
Whataya gonna do with me?
Whatever you need, just ask me!
When Joy and I used to have sex, we'd call it the panini press,
When that demon was chasing me,
When the joke's on you!
When you just sold "Clap Like This"
When you work as much as I do,
When you're divorced and living with your ex.
Whenever Candice plays with a kid,
Where Alexi die in space battle.
Where are we right now?
Where are you taking them?
Where I described her teeth or anything.
Where is my lunch?
Where it says we need a password to access him?
Where Sound Doesn't Exist?"
Where the hell are those two?
Where we make birds... look like you!
Where women are expected to destroy their bodies
Where you been, bud? Why'd you bail on me?
Where you been?
Where you tell me everything.
Where's that music coming from?
Where's your family, loser?
Where's your family, loser?
Wherever you wish!
Which means more traffic.
Which of the following sentences contains a prepositional phrase?
Which pollutes the ocean.
Which puts it in front of like 10,000 more followers,
Which stands for "Almost acceptable but not quite."
Which stands for "Finally doing something right."
While my ass is in this guy's face!
While you guys are talkin' like that.
While you're here being a mombie.
Who Alex?
Who are you talking to? I'm Emily.
Who are you?
Who can't buy anything.
Who can't buy anything.
Who cares? Just run!
Who cares? Just run!
Who doesn't want to bring more bundles of joy into the world?
Who specialize in viking science fiction
Who threw a paper at you.
Who wants to see me drop kick this jump in the dick?!
Who was that?
Who works for eight hours?
Who? Ron!
Who? The clowns!
Who's clearly not detached from their ex.
Who's ready for the DTLA Hot and Hard Festival?
Who's right, Weird Al?
Whoa, gnarly!
Whoa, I cant believe you live in this van, so cool!
Whoa, Sir groiny Weaver, where's this coming from?
Whoa, that was awesome!
Whoa, what'd I miss?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing?
Whoa, whoa, whoa! You're saying I could have
Whoa, whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa! A body rollerskate!
Whoa! Aah!
Whoa! One hundo percent.
Whoa! Triplets?
Whoa! Whaa!
Whoa! You're superstar Mona Arizona!
Whoa!! Yeah! [ Horse whinnies ]
Whoa. Everyone's gonna see
Whoa. Is this my thing? Video games?
Whoo hoo!
Whoo hoo! [ Tires squeal ]
Whoo hoo! [ Tires squeal ]
Whoo! He didn't mean it!
Whoo! [ Laughs ]
Whoo! Super careful!
Whoo! Wow.
Whoooa!
Whooooooa!
Whoops, Emily.
Why am I doing this?
Why are these adorable British street urchins
Why are we doing this?
Why are you doing this?
Why are you doing this?
Why are you ruining this?
Why can't you play mahjong like the rest of the old ladies?
Why did I fill this with assorted nuts?
Why do my nipples feel more raw than usual?
Why does your arm feel like it's filled with straw?
Why don't you do Randy a solid and just drive him yourself?
Why don't you just conjoin with her?
Why don't you let me try, huh?
Why don't you take Candice to get some crackers?
Why is she Oh, my God.
Why me?
Why not? What happened?
Why would you put this in the game, Josh?
Why, yes, my son is here.
Why?
Why?
Why? So you can tape it and see how many likes you get?
Will be... [Exhales sharply]
Will result in rapid aging,
Wine? No, thanks.
Wink!
With a little more peace and order.
With a man trying to get the attention of a handmaiden.
With an emphasis on Viking history to good use.
With everything that she did for you.
With LA's top literary agents
With that money, you could've bought one of these.
With the blinds closed... in darkness.
With the weird art projects, the exposed wires, and Alex.
With their sticky little blechhhh.
Woman: And initial here.
Woman: Maybe this wasn't a waste of time.
Woman: The Fashion District is now closing.
Woman: You think you're so smart, huh?
Woo!
Woo!
Wooooow. What up, what up, what up!
Worried your mom's not coming home at the end of a shift.
Would an old person do this?
Wow, is it just me, or are these pancakes...
Wow, that is a huge compliment.
Wow, you were not kidding.
Wow! What a time saver!
Wow. I can barely say Micha Picca.
Wow. I've never seen you this responsible before.
Wow. So you don't give Mia any boundaries at all?
Wow. That That's so true.
Wow. That was amazing.
Wow. Your owner must be pretty awesome.
Wrestling? You should come!
Wrong here.
Yah!
Yah!
Yah! Aah!
Yay! [ Laughs ]
Yay! Do I get ice cream again?!
Yeaaaah, son!
Yeah Jaxon Pill.
Yeah get her! You can do it.
Yeah, acting choices.
Yeah, because I can never find it.
Yeah, but I don't know what to do for the last level.
Yeah, go on home to your board games.
Yeah, I can't feel my arms,
Yeah, I guess our tastes have changed.
Yeah, I like Dog Boy.
Yeah, it's pretty hard to be funny...
Yeah, it's such a beautiful place.
Yeah, loved how short it was.
Yeah, man, I got your back.
Yeah, man.
Yeah, my dad moved out when I was 4.
Yeah, my real name's Caitlin.
Yeah, my triplets love you.
Yeah, no.
Yeah, Skate Dad! Yeah!
Yeah, so, remember how we agreed to warn each other
Yeah, sometimes old friends say stuff no one else gets.
Yeah, that's not where the claps go.
Yeah, this is what 200 degrees feels like.
Yeah, totally.
Yeah, w w w well, we were supposed to.
Yeah, well, don't get your hopes up.
Yeah, yeah, roll.
Yeah, yeah, whatever. She said everybody's fine!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Yeah, you can watch a movie with Pearl.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah! 15 years later, and we're still equally psyched.
Yeah! But we went to the one in Europe, so...
Yeah! Candice crushed her tests.
Yeah! Finally, some white guys are making it!
Yeah! Let's do this right!
Yeah! Streaming got rid of commercials,
Yeah! We're totally going to
Yeah! Well, no, it's a picture of me.
Yeah! What's fun about raisins, Josh?
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah.
Yeah. Call me after.
Yeah. They can't sing.
Yeah. Truce? Truce.
Yeah. Water.
Years pass.
Yep, here she is!
Yep, in order to make more dog boys,
Yes, it's basically licking smooth plastic,
Yes, Jojo!
Yes, Mr. Hasselhoff.
Yes, Mr. Salt, I'll e mail the project managers right now.
Yes, Mr. Salt.
Yes, Mr. Salt.
Yes, party of three. Right this way.
Yes, Señor, Pájaro Pals.
Yes, we can!
Yes, we're buying your game.
Yes, why don't I?
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Yes! [ Laughs ]
Yes! [ Laughs ]
Yes! Thank you! Alex?
Yes! This is prime posting time.
Yes! Well, I mean, I get to go home every night.
Yes! Yes!
Yo, Dorp, what's your Instagram, so I can tag you?
Yo, Goosh!
Yo, if you feelin' me, then "wike and subscwibe."
Yo, Skate Dad! Your kid's a natural!
Yo, what's up, Dorp?
You absolute hero.
You always give me really good feedback like,
You are not gonna cry, Timothy Brice Campbell.
You are the face.
You are worse than Jeter.
You bastard! Don't you shut me out!
You bet.
You can clock out at midnight. Bye!
You can do it, don't be scared.
You can do it, Mom!
You can just do the selling or ringing up or whatever.
You can say something about Japanese people if you want.
You can stop by Javier's Dance Studio
You can stop making out now.
You can't be making more than like 250 bucks.
You can't cut apart feelings.
You can't have people over 30 in your bar.
You checked your phone during your wedding.
You could become one of us.
You deserve a foot massager from Toe Town!
You deserve it.
You died in the haunted house.
You do such a good job, I do you favor.
You don't even drink tea.
You don't even have a job.
You don't ever have to try to do anything to be cool.
You don't know what it's like to be the kid of a cop,
You don't mind our connection over here.
You don't need to believe in psychics
You don't want to use your body like a paintbrush?
You freakin' hipster hamburglers.
You got a lot of nerve showing up here
You got a PhD from Stanford
You got anything to rhyme with drifter
You got to get in touch with your 20 year old self.
You got to give it space.
You got to prank my friends!
You gotta think of yourself like a rock.
You guys want to sit down, have a juice box?
You guys, you guys, the drama do we need it?
You guys! [ Studio audience cheering ]
You had to super size it and make it a combo!
You have crazy upper body strength.
You have kind of been being a doormat for Mr. Salt.
You have to check out the bathroom.
You have to order it on GrubHub for them.
You have to take my place in Ladder World.
You hungry, boy?
You just got us banned from that club.
You just have to send a bunch of e mails
You just need to buy the thread.
You know how Food Corps has a P.R. nightmare
You know how I wanted a glass of water?
You know how this happened!
You know how we do!
You know I love Grave Rollers, but I have to go to work.
You know what my teeth look like?
You know what, The Goosh, you're full of it!
You know what?
You know what?
You know what? Dinner's on me.
You know what? We're all adults.
You know what? We're gonna do the hell
You know, it's kind of
You know, it's kind of
You know, it's natural to want to protect your mother
You know, it's not finished.
You know, mommy allows me one candy a day.
You know, that movie doesn't really hold up.
You know, we have a protocol
You know, you can't just take things that don't belong to y
You know? [ Chuckles ]
You know...only cute.
You maybe want to consider not doing this?
You mean my friend, probably more mine than his.
You might as well be wearing a red flag.
You must be Alex.
You must be Randy!
You need a break.
You need me to keep all this going.
You need more time, and I've got a magic hat.
You never grow out of doing fun things.
You never took me dancing.
You okay, bro?
You okay, Candy Cane?
You really took care of everything.
You set Plugger Inner record.
You shred, Candy!
You spend most of your life not doing much.
You start to fear that you'll look back
You suck! Yeah, maybe.
You suck.
You sure this best way to neuter Dog Boy?
You take few days off. No work for you.
You think I can't clone another dog
You think there could be a sequel?
You think Weird Al checks his phone
You two are free to pop and lock
You two are my problem!
You two good team.
You used to let me be Denzel.
You wanna come back to my crib?
You want to get in touch with me,
You want to go check out some Jim Carrey landmarks?
You want to go?
You want to know why they're called that?
You went without me? I did, and it was smoking!
You were right. This is fun for the whole family.
You wouldn't understand. [ Cellphone ringing ]
You write a letter.
You...still live with your mom?
You'd be surprised how hard it is to find someone
You'd feel tortured, too!
You'd think partying night after night forever would get old.
You'll never find the right me.
You'll never guess my
You'll pay the price by watching commercials forever!
You're actually not funny.
You're alive?
You're alive?!
You're all too bony for my taste.
You're cut off from planning any more parties.
You're cut off!
You're doing the right thing.
You're each responsible for a body.
You're going on your very first sleepover!
You're interrupting my life's work.
You're invited to a prank war.
You're just the face in the back...
You're like an old sweater that I've had in my closet forever,
You're literally sewn to your ex.
You're making animal movies?
You're missing a great show.
You're not a failure.
You're not gonna ask me
You're not really dead, and we've got to bring
You're old.
You're on call, and that's important.
You're our Sisyphus.
You're preaching to the drum circle.
You're right, Dad.
You're right.
You're right. I'm sorry.
You're so funny!
You're so funny!
You're so old, if you said racist stuff,
You're still a success to us.
You're the coolest person I know.
You're trapped. Please!
You're trying to have an orgasm tonight
You've got your L.L. Bean moms snoozefest.
You've still got lots to live for!
Your body is a paintbrush that your spirit inhabits.
Your grandma had a saying.
Your house. Yes.
Your life as you know it is over.
Your mother's aching muscles with soothing sound waves.
Your movements are just beyond. Thanks.
Your performance is an abomination!
Your rock throwing seems off today.
Your sticky toffee mincemeat brandy bun
Zola, the best SoulCycle instructor on the East Side. Yo.
2,700 diapers a year?
5 year olds don't just grab dinner.
100% no stress day.
[ Gasping ] Who cares?
[ Gasps ] [ Gasps ] [ Laughs ]
[ Gasps ] [ Whistles ]
[ Gasps ] Mommy!
[ Gasps ] What's happening?!
[ Gasps ] Emily? Ehh.
[ Groans ] Mommy!
[ Growls ] Aah!
[ Grunts ] Ooh!
[ Laughing ] Oh, wh Oh!
[ Laughing ] Shh! Shut up.
[ Laughs ] On your left!
32. So you're my age
Aaah! Aaaaaaah!
Aah! Aah!
Aah! Aah!
Aah! Whoa oh!
Aah! Yeah! You did it!
Aah! Yo, yo, yo!
Ahhhhhh! Sweet Pattie La Belle!
Are you okay? [ Coughs ]
Bridgette. Unh unh unh, ohh...
But you already did! Aah!
Can you Ollie? Oh, I dunno.
Candice! Candice!
Candice! Candice!
Candice! Whoa!
Close the door! You guys are real?
Did he think I was hot? He...
Do not let him do that! No, no, no, no, no.
Dude. Come on!
Feeling young yet? No.
Freeze! Police! [ Gasps ]
Go get it! Yeah!
Hang on, Candice! Ma'am!
Here's a heart. Eureka.
Hey, you. Hey, you.
Hey! Hey!
Hi, Candice! Hi!
Hi, Randy. Josh, let me borrow your car.
Huh huh huh! There you go!
Huh huh! Good!
Huh! Huh!
Huh! Huh!
Huh? Huh?
I'll take care of that! What? No!
Is that a 4x8? [ Gasps ] Oh, my God.
Is this real? Aah!
It's gonna be okay. Is it, Josh?
It's not. Not surprising at all.
Just reading about self esteem. Self...
Just talk to him. Uh, okay.
Last night was so great. Really great night.
Look at his face! Dude, she got you!
Michelle? Dave!
Mummy! It's Mummy!
My wallet got stolen! What?
No way! Oh, my God,
No. [ High pitched humming ]
Oh, hey, man. Damn it, Josh!
Oh, my God, are you okay? No! I'm not okay.
Oh! Oh!
Oh! Something exciting? What could it be?!
Oh. Oh.
Oh. Oh.
Ohh! Oh, my God, wow.
On your left! Hey!
Right? Wait, wait, wait.
Run! No!
She does? Totally.
Ugh. She almost got one right.
Wah! Aah!
Wait. What's he doing? What's he got?!
We're not your parents! Of course you are.
We're... ...dead?
What are y Where are you going?
What are you doing? I'm getting us out of here.
What have we done? It's 8:00!
What the [ Gasps ]
What? Are you checking your phone?
What? Could you tuck us in?
Whoa, whoa! Oh! Wow.
Whoa! Whoa!
Whoo, whoo! Whoo!
Yeah! Yahoo!
Yep! Yay!
Yes! No.
You sure? Yes.
...I don't think we want that tart anymore.
...is gun
...it's beautiful.
...lovely.
...months. 26 months.
...that you can't beat us in Ladder World!
'cause, you know, feminism.
"100 Word Jumbles"?
"Circumcision by Fire"?
"Dudeman"?! That's why you've been out all night?!
"F" yoooooou...
"F" you, Josh!
"I am in my body. I am in my body. I am "
"I bet you can't make a giraffe."
"I love it. It's awesome,"
"Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium."
"Not stolen hams"?
"Once the little bird is ready to fly,
"Pinot Grigio."
"Prank mas came early.
"Somebody stop me!"
"This guy got ass knifed.
"Where did my childhood go?"
[ Acoustic guitar playing ]
[ Air whooshing ]
[ Alarm blares ]
[ Alarm blaring ]
[ Alarm blaring ]
[ Alarm blaring ]
[ Alarm blaring ]
[ Alarm blaring ] [ Crowd chanting "VIP!" ]
[ Alarm blaring ] [ Crowd chanting "VIP!" ]
[ Alarm blaring ] No!
[ All chanting "spare parts" ]
[ All cheering ]
[ All cheering ]
[ All cheering ]
[ All gasp ]
[ All gasp ]
[ All gasp ]
[ All gasping ]
[ All groan ]
[ All groan ] Oh, come on.
[ All groaning ]
[ All groaning ] Mummy. Daddy
[ All grunt ]
[ All grunt ]
[ All grunting ]
[ All grunting ]
[ All grunting ]
[ All grunting ]
[ All scream ]
[ All scream ]
[ All scream, grunt ]
[ All screaming ] [ Gasps ] Bridgette!
[ All snoring ]
[ Animals screeching ]
[ Audience booing ] Uh, that's not supposed to
[ Baby crying ]
[ Balloon squeaks ]
[ Bang ] [ Crowd cheers ]
[ Bats screeching ] [ Screams ]
[ Bear growls ]
[ Bear roars ]
[ Beep ]
[ Beep, chime ]
[ Beeping ]
[ Beeping ]
[ Beeping ]
[ Beeping ]
[ Beeping ]
[ Beeping, cranking ]
[ Belches ]
[ Bell tolls ]
[ Bird squawks ] [ Gasps ]
[ Birds chirping ]
[ Birds screech ]
[ Blipping ]
[ Boing ]
[ Bone cracks ]
[ Bones cracking ]
[ Both breathing heavily ]
[ Both breathing heavily ]
[ Both breathing heavily ]
[ Both gasp ]
[ Both gasp ]
[ Both gasp ]
[ Both gasp ]
[ Both gasp ]
[ Both gasp ] Our Michelin rated daycare center.
[ Both groan ]
[ Both grunt ]
[ Both grunt ]
[ Both grunt ]
[ Both grunt ]
[ Both grunt ] [ Tires screech ]
[ Both grunting ]
[ Both grunting ]
[ Both grunting ]
[ Both grunting ]
[ Both grunting ]
[ Both grunting ]
[ Both grunting ]
[ Both grunting ]
[ Both grunting ]
[ Both grunting ]
[ Both inhale sharply ]
[ Both laugh ]
[ Both laugh ]
[ Both laugh ]
[ Both laugh ]
[ Both laugh ]
[ Both laugh nervously ]
[ Both laughing ]
[ Both laughing ]
[ Both laughing ] Don't!
[ Both retch ]
[ Both scream ]
[ Both scream ] Bridgette?
[ Both scream, tires squeal ]
[ Both screaming ]
[ Both smooch ]
[ Breathing heavily ]
[ Breathing heavily ]
[ Breathing heavily ]
[ Breathing heavily ]
[ Breathing heavily ]
[ Breathing heavily ]
[ Breathing heavily ]
[ Breathing shallowly ]
[ Breathing sharply ]
[ British accent ] Cram jammed with potato curry!
[ British accent ] It's pronounced "Scrawd"!
[ British accent ] Mind the world class stitchwork, sir!
[ British accent ] No, please, good sir. Scold us some more.
[ British accent ] These Bakewell tarts got a soggy bottom.
[ Buzzing ] Open your closet for a surprise?
[ Buzzing ] Uh oh.
[ Cackling ]
[ Cackling, thunder crashing ]
[ Camera shutter clicking ]
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
[ Camera shutter clicks ] Bridgette: Sand!
[ Camera shutter clicks ] Huh?
[ Candice screams ]
[ Canned laughter ]
[ Canned laughter ]
[ Canned laughter ]
[ Canned laughter ]
[ Canned laughter ]
[ Canned laughter, cheering ]
[ Carnival music plays ]
[ Cellphone chimes ]
[ Cellphone chimes ]
[ Cellphone clicking ]
[ Cellphone clicking, chimes ]
[ Cellphone ringing ]
[ Cellphone ringing ]
[ Cellphone ringing ] Ramirez!
[ Cellphone rings ]
[ Cellphone rings ]
[ Cellphone rings ]
[ Cellphone rings ] Hey, Mom.
[ Chanting continues ]
[ Cheering ]
[ Cheering ]
[ Cheering ]
[ Cheering ]
[ Cheering ]
[ Cheering, engine revs ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Chuckles ]
[ Chuckles ]
[ Chuckles ] "Lit" means cool.
[ Chuckles ] Did you read my short story?
[ Chuckles ] Don't you see?
[ Chuckles ] Hope you guys like Weezer.
[ Chuckles ] I can't believe I'm meeting a single guy
[ Chuckles ] I did everything
[ Chuckles ] I did not know you were stand up comedian, too.
[ Chuckles ] I just refuse to contribute
[ Chuckles ] Kid free night.
[ Chuckles ] Let's sit.
[ Chuckles ] Look, Em chandelier!
[ Chuckles ] Love you, too.
[ Chuckles ] More like fun raiser.
[ Chuckles ] Nah, bro, it's only...
[ Chuckles ] She's got it bad.
[ Chuckles ] You do what you got to do.
[ Chuckles lightly ] Hey, that worked out great!
[ Chuckles nervously ] Uh...you know what?
[ Clanking ]
[ Clanking ]
[ Clicking ]
[ Computer rings ]
[ Computer sound plays ]
[ Computer sound plays ]
[ Computer whirs ]
[ Coughing ]
[ Coughing ]
[ Coughing continues ]
[ Coughs ]
[ Cracking, zap ]
[ Crashes, glass shatters ]
[ Creaking ] [ Both screaming ]
[ Creature roaring ]
[ Crickets chirping ]
[ Crickets chirping ]
[ Crickets chirping ]
[ Crowd booing ]
[ Crowd cheering ]
[ Crowd cheering ]
[ Crowd cheering ]
[ Crowd gasps ]
[ Crowd murmuring ]
[ Crying ]
[ Crying ]
[ Crying ] It's like her whole childhood
[ Demonic laughter ]
[ Dial tone ]
[ Dinging ]
[ Dinging ] Congratulations.
[ Distorted ] Dudeman.
[ Dog Boy barking, howling ]
[ Dog Boy howls ]
[ Doorbell rings ]
[ Doorbell rings ]
[ Doorbell rings ]
[ Dramatic music plays ]
[ Easy listening music plays ]
[ Echoing ] Josh?
[ Echoing ] Natural.
[ Echoing ] Papa Goosh.
[ Echoing ] Shizz!
[ Echoing ] Someone stole the friggin' ham!
[ Electricity crackles ]
[ Electricity crackles ]
[ Electricity crackling ]
[ Electronic dance music plays ]
[ Engine idling ]
[ Engine revs ]
[ Engine revs ]
[ Engine revs ]
[ Engine revs ]
[ Engine revs ]
[ Engine revs ] [ Gasps ]
[ Engine revs ] Josh! Look at me.
[ Engine revs ] Whoa!
[ Engine revs, tires squeal ]
[ Engine revving ]
[ Engine starts ]
[ Engine starts, revs ]
[ Engine starts, tires screech ]
[ European accent ] Joan of Arc was hot.
[ Exhales deeply ] Sorry I'm late.
[ Exhales sharply ] Let's roll, bitch.
[ Exhausted ] Did you go poopy in your diapy?
[ Explosion ]
[ Explosion ]
[ Explosion ]
[ Footsteps running, door slams ]
[ Freezer humming ]
[ Frustrated groan ]
[ Funky music plays ]
[ Gags ]
[ Game pad beeping ]
[ Gargling ] I hear the napkin is to hide your face
[ Gasping ]
[ Gasping ]
[ Gasping ]
[ Gasping ] W I Oh, no.
[ Gasps ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Gasps ] ...and newly divorced.
[ Gasps ] A call.
[ Gasps ] Alex was stuck in the vent?!
[ Gasps ] Can I be a corrupt cop?
[ Gasps ] Cherry MDMA bites!
[ Gasps ] Dinging!
[ Gasps ] How'd you do that so fast?
[ Gasps ] I heard the bathroom has a wine fridge.
[ Gasps ] Josh!
[ Gasps ] Just kidding,
[ Gasps ] Mom!
[ Gasps ] My daughter is not cute.
[ Gasps ] No nothing. I mean...
[ Gasps ] Our first date, really?
[ Gasps ] That's what we'll do together.
[ Gasps ] The cool moms.
[ Gasps ] The music. That's it.
[ Gasps ] They got churros here?!
[ Gasps ] They're going away.
[ Gasps ] This is her now!
[ Gasps ] This is it!
[ Gasps ] Weed?
[ Gasps ] What's that supposed to mean?!
[ Gasps ] Whoa! My old skateboard!
[ Gasps ] You're going to take his
[ Glass breaking ]
[ Glass shattering ]
[ Glass shatters ]
[ Glass shatters ]
[ Glass shatters ] I'm gonna go throw up.
[ Glass shatters, doors slam ]
[ Glasses clink ] Happy birthday.
[ Gong sounds ] What the hell is that noise?!
[ Groaning ]
[ Groaning ]
[ Groaning ] Oh, man.
[ Groaning ] Stop it!
[ Groaning, grunting ]
[ Groans ]
[ Groans ]
[ Groans ]
[ Groans ]
[ Groans ]
[ Groans ]
[ Groans ]
[ Groans ]
[ Groans ] Whoa, hey, watch out.
[ Groans ] Do you have to do this right now?
[ Groans ] We didn't even have sex.
[ Groans ] Whatever, dude.
[ Growling ]
[ Growling ] [ All grunt ]
[ Growls ]
[ Growls ]
[ Growls ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Grunting ] Get Get out of the way!
[ Grunting, shouting ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Grunts ] [ Tires squeal ]
[ Grunts ] And these 90 degree angles
[ Grunts ] Come on, let's get out of here!
[ Grunts ] Oh, my God!
[ Grunts, shouts ]
[ Guffawing ]
[ Guitar riff ]
[ Gulping ]
[ Gulping ]
[ Gulping ]
[ Heart's "Crazy On You " plays ]
[ Heartbeat, zapping ]
[ Heartbeat, zapping ]
[ Heavy guitar strums ]
[ Helicopter blades whirring ] Look, I better take off.
[ High pitched ] Aw!
[ High pitched humming ]
[ Hissing ]
[ Hoarsely ] No.
[ Horn blares ]
[ Horn honking ] Whoa. [ Chuckles ]
[ Horn honks ]
[ Horn squeaks ]
[ Horn squeaks ]
[ Horn squeaks ] [ Gasps ]
[ Horn toots ]
[ Horns honking, screaming ]
[ Horror movie music plays ]
[ Horse whinnies ]
[ Imitates siren ]
[ Imitates water flowing ]
[ Inhales deeply ]
[ Inhales deeply, exhales sharply ]
[ Inhales sharply ]
[ Irish accent ] So long, boys! Enjoy the ride.
[ Jazz music plays ]
[ Josh and Emily screaming ]
[ Knock on door ] Postpal.
[ Knocking on door ]
[ Knocking on door ]
[ Laughing ]
[ Laughing ]
[ Laughing ]
[ Laughing ]
[ Laughing ]
[ Laughing ]
[ Laughing ]
[ Laughing ] [ Both scream ]
[ Laughing ] Oh.
[ Laughing ] Uh, okay!
[ Laughing ] Whoa!
[ Laughing evilly ]
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughs ] [ Cellphone rings ]
[ Laughs ] [ Laughs ] Amazing!
[ Laughs ] Dad, this game is so fun.
[ Laughs ] Don't worry.
[ Laughs ] Funny story. Okay.
[ Laughs ] Go get my computer, Randy!
[ Laughs ] Josh Singleton?!
[ Laughs ] Oh, my God! You're so funny.
[ Laughs ] Okay, okay. I'm going to say it.
[ Laughs ] One of the boys got out.
[ Laughs ] That'd be a first.
[ Laughs ] We've got uppers, downers, laughers, screamers,
[ Laughs ] Whoa! Sweet prank, man.
[ Laughs ] Yeah, a glow stick.
[ Laughs ] Yeah!
[ Laughs ] You under arrest for being racist!
[ Laughs evilly ]
[ Laughs evilly ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughter ] Jojo, you're the best.
[ Lighter clicks ] [ Inhales sharply ]
[ Lights clunking on ]
[ Motor whirring ]
[ Munches ] [ Burps ]
[ Munching ] Have you guys seen thread?
[ Music continues ]
[ Music resumes, people shout ] Sorry, my bad!
[ Normal voice ] No retouching at all.
[ Ominous music plays ]
[ Ominous piano music plays ]
[ Ominous satanic voice mumbling ]
[ Ominously ] Now, I'm Skate Dad.
[ Panting ]
[ Panting ]
[ Panting ]
[ Panting ]
[ Panting ]
[ Panting ] Dude, the ham!
[ Paper rustling ]
[ People screaming ]
[ Racing footsteps ]
[ Recorders playing ] You won't find any condoms here.
[ Retches ]
[ Ringing continues ]
[ Roaring ]
[ Roars ]
[ Rock music plays ]
[ Rumbling ]
[ School bell rings ]
[ Scoffs ] No. A million dollars.
[ Screaming ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Screaming ] How could you?!
[ Screams ]
[ Screams ]
[ Screams ]
[ Screams ]
[ Screams ]
[ Screams ] Help! [ Gasps ]
[ Screams ] No one hurts the children I briefly thought were my own!
[ Screams ] Oh, dude!
[ Screeches ]
[ Screeches ]
[ Screeching ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Sighs ] Chill! We're gonna be here all week.
[ Sighs ] Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!
[ Sighs ] I know he's young,
[ Sighs ] Skate Dad is skate sad.
[ Sighs ] We probably shouldn't watch this while driving.
[ Sighs ] You're not gonna believe what happened.
[ Singing ]
[ Single clap ]
[ Singsong voice ] and check out who made the cover!
[ Singsong voice ] Mom!
[ Siren wailing ]
[ Siren wails ]
[ Sirens wailing ]
[ Sirens wailing ] [ Alex groaning ]
[ Slo mo ] I'llll dooooo iiii
[ Slo mo ] Niiiine fifteeeeeen.
[ Slow motion ] Go, Candice!
[ Slow motion laughing ]
[ Slow motion laughing ]
[ Slow motion laughter ]
[ Slurping ]
[ Slurping ] [ Gasps ]
[ Snarling ]
[ Snarling ]
[ Snarls ]
[ Sneezes ]
[ Sneezes ] Okay
[ Sniffing ]
[ Sniffing, snarling ]
[ Sniffles ] He was a good bird.
[ Sniffs ]
[ Sniffs ] Oh, the aroma alone conveys the sensation
[ Snores ]
[ Snorts ] Did it last year.
[ Snorts ] Yeah, we like it.
[ Snorts, laughs ]
[ Snorts, laughs ]
[ Sobbing ]
[ Sobs ] Wow, I didn't know I was gonna feel this this...
[ Soft jazz music plays ]
[ Soft music playing ]
[ Soft music plays ]
[ Speaking Spanish ]
[ Speaks Spanish ]
[ Speaks Spanish ]
[ Splat ]
[ Squawking ]
[ Squawks ]
[ Squawks, speaks Spanish ]
[ Squish ] [ Screaming continues ]
[ Stammering ]
[ Static ]
[ Static hissing ] What the hell, guys?
[ Strained ] Go for it, man.
[ Straining ]
[ Studio audience "boos" ]
[ Studio audience "boos" ]
[ Studio audience "Ohhs" ]
[ Studio audience gasps ]
[ Studio audience whoops ]
[ Suspenseful music plays ]
[ Switch clicks ]
[ Techno playing ]
[ Telephone rings ]
[ Thud ] Yes!
[ Thud echoes ]
[ Thunder cracks ]
[ Thunder cracks ]
[ Thunder cracks ] The Octomom! I will cut you!
[ Thunder crashes ]
[ Thunder crashing ]
[ Tires screech ]
[ Tires screech ]
[ Tires screech ]
[ Tires screech ] Aah!
[ Tires screech ] Nikki! Stop!
[ Tires squeal ]
[ Tires squeal ]
[ Tires squealing ]
[ Tires squealing ] Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
[ Tropical music playing ] Emily: [ Sighs ]
[ Urinating ]
[ Video game music plays, skipping ]
[ Voice deepening ] Get this asshole!
[ Warbling ]
[ Weakly ] Emily. What's happening?
[ Weakly ] Emily. What's happening?
[ Whimpers ]
[ Whirring ]
[ Whirring ] Candice!
[ Whirring up ]
[ Whirring up ]
[ Whispering ] But I kind of wish I had it.
[ Whistles ]
[ Whistling ]
[ Yawns ]
[ Yelling ]
[ Yelling ]
[ Yelling ]
[ Yelping ]
[ Zipping ]
[Bleep] [Bleep]
[Bleep] What else can't you do on sitcoms?
[laughs] I mean heads together,
♪ ...bird! ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm having a good time ♪
♪ 'Cause your real family's not there ♪
♪ A cabin in the woods is fun ♪
♪ A family tree quilt for Candice ♪
♪ Ah ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ah ♪
♪ Ah ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ah ♪
♪ Ah ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ah ♪
♪ And how to give ♪
♪ And I think that kid is hand less ♪
♪ And it's ticking away ♪
♪ And kisses your ear in the early moonlight ♪
♪ And there's so many kinds ♪
♪ And you get killed by a drifter ♪
♪ Bow, bow, bow now now now now now ♪
♪ But go crazy on you ♪
♪ But he's full of joy ♪
♪ But I tell myself that I was doin' alright ♪
♪ But if you walked in, what would they even cut ♪
♪ But we're doing it all for Candice ♪
♪ But we're doing it all for Candice ♪
♪ But we're doing it all for Candice ♪
♪ But we're doing it all for Candice ♪
♪ But you're running around at someone else's home ♪
♪ Classic Dave ♪
♪ Crazy on you ♪
♪ Dangerous machines, so much to see ♪
♪ Despite ourselves ♪
♪ Did anybody else notice that? ♪
♪ Don't stop me now ♪
♪ Don't stop me now ♪
♪ Don't stop me now ♪
♪ Don't you hurt Dog Boy ♪
♪ Every ni i ight ♪
♪ Giving me everything inside and out and ♪
♪ God bless America ♪
♪ Have another daughter, put your finances underwater ♪
♪ Have another son and your life is done ♪
♪ He brought us together ♪
♪ He may be two things ♪
♪ He taught us love ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ High, ah ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ah ♪
♪ High, ah ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ah ♪
♪ High, ah ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ah ♪
♪ How does it know how long it will take ♪
♪ How does it know to take just the right time ♪
♪ Hurt Dog Boy no more ♪
♪ I am a satellite ♪
♪ I don't want to stop at all ♪
♪ I gotta stay ♪
♪ I gotta stay ♪
♪ I gotta stay ♪
♪ I want to have sex with Mr. Rogers ♪
♪ I'll be alone dancing ♪
♪ I'll be there for you ♪
♪ I'm burnin' through the sky, yeah, 200 degrees ♪
♪ I'm having a ball ♪
♪ I'm having such a good time ♪
♪ I'm in the kitchen ♪
♪ I'm in the kitchen ♪
♪ I'm in the kitchen ♪
♪ I'm in the kitchen ♪
♪ I'm in the living room ♪
♪ I'm in the living room ♪
♪ I'm in the living room ♪
♪ I'm in the pool ♪
♪ I'm out of control ♪
♪ I've got too much ♪
♪ I've got too much ♪
♪ In a cave, a giant rat attacked us ♪
♪ Is he a boy ♪
♪ Is he a dog ♪
♪ It kinda all smells like rat piss ♪
♪ La La La ♪
♪ La La La ♪
♪ La La La La ♪
♪ La La La La ♪
♪ La La La La La ♪
♪ La La La La La ♪
♪ La La La La La La La La La ♪
♪ La La La La La La La La LA LA LA LA ♪
♪ Let me go crazy, crazy on you, ohh ♪
♪ Love is strange, so real in the dark ♪
♪ Mock... ♪
♪ My love is the evenin' breeze touchin' your skin ♪
♪ No scheming, no cleaning, this world's in between ♪
♪ No wonder you escaped ♪
♪ No worries, no cares ♪
♪ No, you're not in denial ♪
♪ Not the one from TV, a different Mr. Rogers ♪
♪ O O O Open House ♪
♪ Oh, my God, that kid just fell in a vat ♪
♪ Oh, my God, that kid just fell in a vat ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, explode ♪
♪ Old man looking in a barber shop ♪
♪ On a collision course ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Oooooooh ♪
♪ Oooooooo o oh ♪
♪ Open house ♪
♪ Open house ♪
♪ Perfect hous ♪
♪ Perfect house, perfect house ♪
♪ Popcorn button on the microwave ♪
♪ Reality's blurry in an open house ♪
♪ Ro, ro, ro, ro, ro, ro, ro, ro, ♪
♪ Ro, ro, ro, ro, ro, roo ♪
♪ Shout out to Weird Al ♪
♪ Tell me your troubles and doubts ♪
♪ The feeling you get when you're not at home ♪
♪ The gentle, sweet singin' of leaves in the wind ♪
♪ The whisper that calls after you in the night ♪
♪ There are no worries in an open house ♪
♪ There's nothin' left to do at night ♪
♪ There's so many brands ♪
♪ These orphans took us to this factory ♪
♪ Ticking away from me ♪
♪ Till I die ♪
♪ Till I die ♪
♪ Till I die ♪
♪ Time on my hands ♪
♪ To an open house ♪
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
♪ Turn down for what? ♪
♪ Unless your friend doesn't show up ♪
♪ We gotta stay ♪
♪ We'll go on ♪
♪ We're making a quilt for Candice ♪
♪ What are friends ♪
♪ What would make you even stop ♪
♪ Who got killed by a bear ♪ Oh, come on!
♪ Why don't you stay a while? ♪
♪ Won't you come see about me ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars ♪
♪ Yeah, no bull crap, no fights, just laughter ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪ ♪ ...ing... ♪
♪ Yes, I'm having a good time ♪
♪ You know it, baby ♪
♪ You're not bad looking, and you're kind of buff ♪
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♪ Don't stop me now ♪
♪ High, Ah ah ah, ah ah, ah ah, ah ♪
♪ It's hard to believe such a calamity ♪
♪ Time on my hands ♪
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