Close Enough (2020) - Season 2 Edit

A big boss named Sauceface.

A bust. Candice thought everything was for babies.

A few more pushes...

A few more WODs and a couple of protein shakes,

A fourth grader we called Jimmy Two Times

A little bit of secret frackin'.

A neighborhood carnival!

A toothbrush at your place?

Aaaah!

Aaaah!

Aaah!

Aah!

Aah! [ Sobbing ]

Aah! No!

Able to suck gas out of a tank faster than you can say

About fracking under people's houses.

Actually, superhero stories

Adios, son!

After giving the police force the best years of my life,

After such a beautiful evening of love make.

After that, ripped, yoked, jacked,

Ah man, my best white slip ons!

Ah, Jesus, we're gonna miss our light!

Ah, she jumped to LTE!

Ah, that's our time.

Ah, the motherlode, right here.

Ah, you're a Trickle now!

Ah, zere it is! Classic Bridgette.

Ah!

Ah! Bridgette!

Ah! I can't believe I missed my Harold audition for this!

Ah. Never mind.

Alex is Jacked into the cyber matrix.

Alex, in order to complete my setup,

Alex, my mind is going.

Alex, we think you might have a problem.

Alex, what are you doing?

Alex, you rock!

Alex: Josh!

Alex...

All I need is your thumb print, DNA sample,

All my life I played by the rules,

All my work has been building to this moment.

All the food at this school is so bland.

All they give me in return is some aspirin

All: Awwwww.

All: DNA! DNA! DNA! DNA! DNA!

All: Monster! Monster!

Alright then.

Alright, Josh, let's do this.

Alright.

Always lookin' for the next big slurp.

An iced coffee with minimal ice would be perf. Theeenk you.

And a prescription for water aerobics?!

And Alex and Bridgette only live with us to help us pay for it.

And as soon as I figure out which key opens this door,

And be a rat?

And be nice!

And boy is it gonna blow... your... mind.

And combined them. [ Pig squeals ]

And discover unrealized swole tential.

And don't embarrass me.

And expects me to forgive him?

And finally, shredded, which is what I am.

And finally, when you expect danger,

And go back to bein' all buddy buddy?

And he accused me of snooping?

And he's gonna crash here, too.

And he's like...

And head straight to the crematorium.

And I accidentally dropped a dumbbell

And I bet this paintball gun shoots real bullets, too, huh?

And I can't have negative energy around my baby.

And I don't want to tell him!

And I should be able to lift you as high as the ceiling.

And I use "the cheeks" [Slurping]

And I want you out of my life!

And I'm like, "Really, mason?

And I'm like, I... Fair's fair. No!

And I'm meeting them today.

And I've downloaded every Stephen King audiobook...

And if I was ready, or if you were alive,

And if you ain't achin', it ain't workin'.

And if you...

And in return, they made love back to me.

And it would get us involved in stem fields

And Josh is white.

And just write your name in it, brah.

And look where it got me.

And my interests include skateboards and horror movies.

And naming herself after an R rated movie.

And not his regular weird smell.

And not just any thieves.

And now I won't have to see her for another couple years.

And now I'm gonna have his baby,

And now my skin is barely glowing.

And now, Mr. Chocolate Chip Coward,

And please, don't push me on this.

And Shirley here is my ride or die.

And shotguns we called "long dongs."

And some became jealous. [ Screams ]

And sometimes you have to break some rules

And that, my friends, is how you disarm

And the "E" is a three.

And then all your base are belong to us.

And then they get schooled by the professor.

And then you need to set boundaries.

And there's a weird smell.

And they heroically died protecting the spaceship.

And this naughty girl is Gertrude.

And three and four and one and two and three..

And want to run with the big dogs,

And we get that rush.

And we haven't even bought our drone yet.

And we'd move it at school.

And we'll cut you in on the proceeds.

And you aren't tossing me at anyone as a means of escape.

And you know what I can do for you.

And you, why is it that my couch

And you're responsible for me

And your Social Security number.

And, like, mm, some of the blood of the innocent?

And, well, you're our favorite teacher.

Annihilate weakness...

Anyone care to disagree?

Anything for a friend slash tenant.

Anything to declare?

Anything you can do on your capitalist tracking device,

Anyway, with my training

Anyways, what did you want to talk to me about?

Anyways, what's up with you, gal?

Are part of a rich folk tradition

Are you even to be kidding me right now?!

Are you sure you don't want to yell at me

Are you sure you're up for this?

Aren't you supposed to be at water aerobics?

Aren't you tired of being ignored?

Arrest this!

At least I made it to the trash can.

At least run in the right direction!

At Temple Beth Emet Day School.

At the Santa Monica First Pier Bank on Friday,

Attencion, everyone.

Aw, man... Upset?

Aww.

Aww.

Back away!

Barb: The Werther's Originals armored truck

Be firm.

Be they named Achilles and Odysseus

Beautiful mademoiselle, why so sad?

Because "our lengths were too matchy."

Because he raised a princess, hmm?

Because he technically paid for it,

Because it promotes militarism.

Because once I do the impossible WOD,

Because you don't stop when you're tired...

Becca sucks. You hate seeing her.

Becca, you have been in there for three hours!

Becca, you've been binging old seasons

Becca: Ouch! [ Gasps ]

Becca: Tiny Butler! [ Bell rings ]

Becca?

Becca? What are you doing here?

Beeehhhhhtch!

Before Kira uploads Alex to the cloud!

Before she's too far along.

Before that happens,

Being a dad r r rules!

Being a dad rules!

Besides, the commercial success

Better call in animal control.

Bex, why you being such a binch?

Bonjour, mon chéri. [ Chuckles ]

Booya.

Bridgette just got ghosted

Bridgette, I apologize if I've done anything to offend. [ Harpsichord playing ]

Bridgette, I have expressed my passion for you

Bridgette, I have something I want to keep at your place.

Bridgette, I love you!

Bridgette, I'm scared.

Bridgette: Every culture throughout history

Bridgette's came from Kyoto...

Bring it on.

Bro, listen. This is me, Jim Crunch, talking.

Bro!

Bullseye.

Burger Thing, that new ironic restaurant in Silver Lake,

Business was so good, it was only a matter of time

But apparently, I love big, ham hock hunks.

But Costco says they're living in Malibu?!

But damn it, I didn't bring my detonator bag!

But don't ever apply fence varnish to your face.

But I can be homeless, if that's what you want...

But I got your heart.

But I was unfaithful.

But I'll take what I can get?

But I'm afraid it's the only way to close the book

But I'm just so thankful that I have you.

But is this what you want?

But it was the only way we could earn money,

But it's important we support him now that he's hot.

But it's not even available yet.

But let's head inside and talk over some fine dinin'.

But next year'll be even better when we unveil...

But next, you'll get swole.

But she's tearing right through it!

But she's the kinda gal I'd want with me in a firefight.

But somehow I know I need it.

But sometimes, even the best plans...

But the blood of the innocent might be more of Costco thing.

But Travor gave me chlamydia first, so, guess what, I...

But we didn't play!

But we don't have the money for stuff like that.

But we needed that!

But we were playing.

But we'd sure like to earn it.

But we're four dimes short.

But we're going to hit it before it gets there.

But we're re glazing our butthole washers.

But when it comes to "fight or flight,"

But why didn't you tell him you're not Sauceface?

But would you tell the sun

But you called me.

But you have a job, and Dad has a job.

But you have some schmutz on your face.

But you... But you just said...

But, before I go, I need to say something.

But, you're, like, dead, right? What's that all about?

But... Now!

But... that's actually great advice.

By possessing a shirtless man's body.

C 4, plastique, some nasty ass nitroglycerine,

C'mon 'n give us some sugar!

Ca caw!

Calculate the ten trillionth position of pi.

California Pizza Dungeon, Hammy's Sammies,

Called "King Kong"!

Campbell called in my parents.

Can I get a drone? Please, please!

Can leave a skid mark in your shorts.

Can you believe it?

Can you pick me up some locusts and goat ears

Candice ready to play "King Kong"?

Candice, the "house" we live in is an apartment building.

Candice, we have plenty of money

Candice, you need to run!

Candice: And just like that, Sauceface was no more.

Candice: And that's how we got into the hot sauce game.

Candice: Has anyone seen my leaf blower?

Candice: It was red gold, baby.

Candice: Pretty soon, we had other kids dealing for us.

Candice: This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

Candice: Tomorrow is the big sit down with our sister schools.

Candice: We needed to throw Campbell off our trail.

Candice!

Candice! [ Grunts ]

Candice! Stop giving that kid sick air!

Capitalists. A vegetable

Check the passport of your heart.

Classic!

Come in all jumpy as hell, scared of their own peckers.

Come on, we got to get outta here.

Come on!

Come on.

Come out of that, right?

Congrats, Josh. You're officially shredded.

Considered elective surgery?!

Cool.

Couch? No! No!

Could I crash with you?

Could I watch something?

Could there be any less Chandler?

Could you be any more dying now?

Could you help us?

Cum venerit, et regnabis stridebo terroremque timuerunt.

D Did you say home birth?

Dad!

Dad! Don't do this!

Dad?

Daddy go higher!

Daddy, can we go play "King Kong"?

Daddy, come play with me!

Daddy, Daddy, picky up!

Daddy, look at my drawing!

Daddy! It's okay, sweetie.

Daddy?

Daddy's crushing this simulation.

Damn it, Josh. All that training and for what?

Damn it, Randy!

Danger can't expect you!

Dating anybody?

Deborah was "the nose..." [ Sniffs ]

Derek!

Did I say you could leave a toothbrush in here?

Did we break the rules? Yes.

Did you ladies see anything suspicious?

Died after his hammies exploded.

DNA! DNA!

Do not kiss it better!

Do you smell gas?

Do your mom and dad have money?

Doesn't that make us rich?

Don't be weird.

Don't let Campbell see that.

Don't look at me, I'm just your dong.

Don't worry, new kid.

Don't you talk about the LAPD that way!

Dump the gas back into the ground,

Effective immediately our school's banned food list

Either way, farewell, sweet Bridgette of House Pharmacist!

Em, check this out...

Em, you need to kick her out.

Emily, can you grab my stuff?

Emily, that's Tiny Butler.

Emily, what's my password? I don't know, Mr. Salt.

Emily, you have to shut off the Internet

Enough to fix your hip...

Ethan, please stay behind for uno minuto.

Even "Gwendy's Button Box"... but it isn't enough.

Even if your hammies survive the 'splozh,

Even though I use it way more than he does.

Eventually, the law caught up to them.

Everybody stay cool.

Everyone, I have an announcement.

Ew.

Exactly, Mr. "Shark Tank" CEO.

Excellent. Then let's shake on it.

Excuse me, young man,

Fake friends who agree with you all the time?

Feels good, doesn't it?

Fill up the sinkhole,

Final boss time!

Firm boundaries are the only way to make people respect you.

First graders, second graders,

First time is the worst time.

First, here's you right now, string bean.

First, tell me everything you know.

Floor it, Pearle!

For a beautiful lady.

For friendship.

For however much life I have left.

For medical bills that insurance won't cover.

For the last time, I have a child.

For this type of situation.

For you to bail on your family!

Forget about me, Candice.

Forgive me, mon chérie.

Fracking?!

Freeze, El Chupacabra! Huh?

Freeze! You're under arrest!

From Bank of Hollywood, huh?

From every direction.

From Santa Maria to Santa Clarita.

From that bulk genetic test we bought from Costco!

Gahhh!

Gas thieves.

Geez, they really like champagne.

Get in the car!

Get off your phone and pay attention!

Get rid of it! [ Grunts ]

Give your! Data!

Go to hell, Becca.

God, he's so freakin' hot.

God, you're selfish.

Going up!

Good point, Alex. Great point, Alex.

Good, 'cause I really need today to be about me, y'know?

Goodbye, Henri!

Gotta get this right. Gotta warm up my cheeks.

Gracias, Ethan.

Great class, everybody. Next week, we'll work on lunges.

Greeeaaat. More dead things.

Gross. [ Grunts ]

Guys, can you please tone it down a little.

Guys, superhero franchises are ruining cinema.

Guys, this is Hecate.

H Hang on. Where did all my stuff go?

H Hello, Alex. Hel... Al Al Al.

Ha, wow, could you be any more terrorist y?

Ha! You're cornered, Sauceface!

Hang on, you gotta take a victory selfie for the wall!

Happy meal!

Hashtag masterpiece.

Have a little fun.

Have you ever heard of... shoplifting?

He also hates fake bitches.

He approaches.

He broke up with me because he wanted to...

He can sleep in my room.

He hasn't left his room all day.

He passes! He scores!

He says he'll be right over!

He, like, expects me to worship him,

He's doing it, Tony.

He's growing so fast.

He's really doing it.

He's the greatest Trickle that ever lived.

Hecate, this is Emily and Jersh and...

Hecate: [ Speaking Latin ]

Hecate's a friend of Luc's.

Heeeey, bestie!

Heh. We don't do labels.

Hell yeah. That's my baby.

Hell, I'll drink to that!

Hell, neither do we.

Hell, yeah! Sorry.

Hell, yes!

Hello, Alex.

Hello? Pearle, it's Barb.

Henri and I have so much in common.

Henri: I was once France's premier furniture designer... [ Harpsichord playing ]

Her boyfriend is the devil?

Here at First Bank of Hollywood,

Here! But they weren't interested.

Here's my card.

Here's some ice chips, sweetie.

Hey Bridg... No.

Hey folks, it's been a heckuva year for Food Corps!

Hey guys, is it cool if I sit on the...

Hey, chica! You must be my roomie!

Hey, cut it out!

Hey, Earthling. Here's a free coin purse.

Hey, gal, can we talk about something?

Hey, I was thinking, maybe I could leave

Hey, I'm Emil... [ Cellphone rings ]

Hey, I'm Josh. I'm 5 feet 11,

Hey, look at this little baby! Is she ticklish?

Hey, Ma, got your text to pick you up.

Hey, now.

Hey, wait a minute.

Hey, would you mind stopping by the bank on the way to lunch?

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! How was the toy store?

Heyyyyyy, chica.

Hi, ma'am. Let me help you!

Hi, uh, Emily, yeah, I'm the taskrabbit you hired

Hmm, one quarter?

Hmm.

Ho ho, man. Okay, here we go.

Hoo! Ha! Hyah! [ Shouts ]

Hot as a cucumber.

Hot damn, look at that!

How am I supposed to choose?

How could I be upset about a dead guy who's chained to a couch and can never leave?!

How long have I been out? Three hours.

How on Earth is a partial hip replacement

How you say, assumed,

How'd it go with your BFF?

How's this for a big statement?

Huh, wow.

Huh?

Huh? [ Tires screech, horn honks ]

Huh? Workout time.

Huh. [ Grunts ]

Huh. Are you sure this is safe?

Hunk, right?

Hurt people... hurt people. Ohh...

I always thought I was attracted to string bean beta males,

I am.

I bet I can make contact with my VR headset.

I broke up with him.

I brought you to visit them

I can do by myself.

I can take your sarcasm

I can't believe how incredible this is.

I can't believe how mature this breakup is.

I can't believe we carried it 15 blocks!

I can't believe you hid this from me.

I can't hold it much longer!

I can't let you go through with this, Barb.

I can't wait for us to play.

I can't wait!

I coming to play!

I could go for General Tso's Clam Shack... are y'all okay?

I could lose my massive gains.

I could visit the Peloton on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

I couldn't stand the idea of you thinking

I did it.

I did what I did out of love.

I did! [ Door opens ]

I died on this very couch.

I don't care if you can't pick me up to play.

I don't care what you did in the past.

I don't know what that is,

I don't know what to say.

I don't like it. Campbell is closing in.

I don't need all the bells and whistles.

I don't think that's true.

I don't want to hurt you.

I don't want to recommend expulsion.

I don't want to talk to you!

I figured you wouldn't trust me,

I force guys to ghost me.

I forgot you wanted to meet tonight.

I got ghosted again!

I got some face time out of the way,

I got that "V" thing like the dudes from "300."

I got to get back to the gym.

I gotta tell you girls... I feel alive!

I guess I did hear somebody say a thingy was gonna go down

I guess I do!

I guess it does not matter. [ Chuckles ]

I guess once a cop, always a cop, huh?

I guess you win.

I have 6 gigs of memory and a B12 bionic CPU.

I have no money,

I have some follow up questions about the birds and the bees.

I have to say, Randy, this is pretty fun.

I haven't had a chance to sit on it yet.

I hurt every woman I ever loved, and it killed me.

I I do? It's lunchtime, bitch.

I I honestly don't know.

I I I It's cool. I can wait.

I jacked in, but you guys got to jack me off.

I just remembered it!

I just want to add numbers together...

I just want to be able to lift up my daughter.

I just wanted to make a little cash,

I just wanted to offer you a little after school snack.

I just wish I'd known about them sooner.

I knew I smelled gas!

I knew you were gonna be like this.

I know perfect place play "King Kong."

I know she's your friend, but she's taking advantage

I know you're in there!

I like her.

I liked strong Dad, but I love Dad Dad.

I lost all my gains.

I love it.

I love ya... but I love gas more.

I love you so freakin' much.

I love you so freakin' much.

I love you, t...

I made an Emily, too.

I made love to beautiful women,

I may've inherited the Trickle nose and cheeks,

I mean a cucumber that tastes like pulled pork?

I mean how are you even gonna have sex?

I mean you're so lucky you've never had to go

I mean, yes I...

I miss you, I was wrong, you're so hot, let's get back together.

I must have needed to have a healthy breakup!

I need a phone for two things...

I need to shower!

I needed to set boundaries!

I never got to sit on you...

I promise.

I promised my son I'd take him to lunch.

I said it!

I set boundaries and I broke up with Luc.

I should just change my major to...

I think I can get most of that stuff at the pet store,

I think I'm done with that class.

I think we could be very motivated to move this product

I think we should hit pause on our friendship.

I use "the nose" to sniff out natural gas.

I vote we run!

I want to become an absolute unit.

I want to fix this, to go back to how things were before.

I want to run with the big dogs.

I want you out of my house, Becca.

I want you to be happy. [ Crying chuckles ]

I was a cop. Retired now.

I was born in 1937.

I wish we could, sweetie,

I wish you never got strong.

I wonder what phase two really was.

I would like a second opinion.

I would never ghost you, sweet Bridgette.

I wouldn't ask, except you're my best friend

I wouldn't do that, Pearle.

I... I hope you can forgive me.

I'd built 'em up into tough ass L.A. cops.

I'd fly it every day and I'd wash it and I'd feed it!

I'd harvest the product at home...

I'll always be there to catch you, baby.

I'll be an absolute unit.

I'll download every season of "Friends"... in HD.

I'll give you a quarter for your hot sauce.

I'll give you two dimes.

I'll help her find an apartment, and she'll be out

I'll just use my backup.

I'll kiss it better!

I'll play with Candice tomorrow...

I'll plug in to the matrix, just like in that Keanu Reeves movie.

I'll take real life over a screen, thank you very much.

I'm a big boy that can handle the truth.

I'm a grown man!

I'm a mama now. You wouldn't understand.

I'm Barb. Nice to meet you. I'm Pearle.

I'm Becca. What's your deal?

I'm brave!

I'm coming in!

I'm descended from a long line of... creeps?

I'm Emily!

I'm Emily!

I'm Facetuning a 30 megapixel image of my butthole,

I'm going to cancel.

I'm gonna be expelled.

I'm gonna start a gratitude journal

I'm horny... happy you've gotten so healthy.

I'm hurt here!

I'm in.

I'm jacking in!

I'm just used to sleeping alone.

I'm Kira, the new digital assistant from Fractal.

I'm Kira, the new digital assistant from Fractal.

I'm lovin' it!

I'm not Candice anymore.

I'm not retired from this game!

I'm pregnant!

I'm right next door.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry I misjudged the Trickles.

I'm sorry we didn't tell ya, bud.

I'm sorry, Alex, but I'm afraid I can't let you do that.

I'm supposed to be DJ ing the Samsung pop up at the galleria.

I'm the long haired friend and you know it!

I'm too young for this shit.

I'm... married.

I'm... Sauceface

I've also written an opera about your face.

I've always wanted to try Turd.

I've been around one or two.

I've got those towels, Becca.

I've got to get out of here.

I've gotta be here for New Year's.

I've never been jacked off like that.

I've not properly introduced myself.

I've realized that's why I sabotage relationships

If all goes well, we expand our operations all over the city.

If anyone can become an absolute unit,

If I can't act superior to my friends?

If I miss even one workout or meal,

If it isn't Sauceface.

If they're together, she'll move back to his place!

If you ain't dyin', it ain't workin'.

If you ain't pukin', it ain't workin'.

If you do everything I say and devote yourself

If you kill me, he will also be deleted.

If you like calculators,

If you upgraded your phone.

If you want to get better.

If you want to shoot me,

If you're... then who is...

Imagine all the fun we could have with one of those.

In Europe, they're called "bidettes."

In fact, I already e mailed my parents,

In here, I'm an invincible penised God.

In order to do something right?

In that case, the ban is lifted.

In the back of an Uber or something?

In the end I gave up my wealth, my business, my spicy empire...

In the shape of an "L" on her forehead.

Instead of just breaking things off,

Is none of that true?!

Is stained with your tears?

Is that why you put up zis?!

Is zat what you wish?

Isn't that why we started this in the first place?

Isn't your girlfriend having your baby in the other room?

It ain't helping, but it's mostly because he's dead.

It had Jack Black in it!

It is being time for you to die.

It was our plan all along.

It was our pleasure.

It... It was a gift from my Nan Nan.

It'll melt your face off your skull.

It's a church

It's fine. I can put it in a bowl of rice!

It's gonna feel so good to sit on it.

It's happening!

It's just a minor delay.

It's just the city can get real prickly

It's just... I could never bring myself

It's legal now, Gertrude.

It's lunchtime, bitch!

It's lunchtime, bitch!

It's lunchtime, bitch.

It's more like burping the Earth.

It's my best feature!

It's nice to hang out in the park.

It's not going to be that easy to overcome my skepticism of...

It's not my fault everything looks hotter on me!

It's raid time!

It's time for the ole sip 'n slip!

It's time to get what we deserve.

It's too dangerous.

It's when a guy dumps you without telling you and vanishes.

It's working!

It's working.

It's you, brah.

It's your friendly cafeteria conduct liaison.

It's, like, when will someone pay attention to me?

Jan: Juergen, we might needing start blowing ze up the vault.

Jan: Now punch that one over there! [ Punches ]

Jeez, Candice.

Jim Crunch says that pain is just weakness leaving the body.

Jim Crunch!

Jim Crunch.

Jim: The impossible WOD.

Jim: You know what they say...

Josh, no, this is real.

Josh, remember,

Josh, support the neck!

Josh, we're past the intervention stage.

Josh, you look incredible.

Josh: Sorry, pal. Juergen just got creamed.

Josh! Keep it together!

Josh?

Josh?

Josh? You're neglecting Candice.

Juergen, comings in.

Juergen!

Just 'cause I fell asleep during the final?

Just as long as we play.

Just for the night?

Just from selling hot sauce packets?

Just like in "Die Hard 2," except in a building!

Just like puttin' a fish in a fishbowl, you know what I'm saying.

Just like sex and cataract surgery.

Just one more rep, Josh!

Just promise you'll spend time with Candice, okay?

Just some super sexy hero type?

Just stepping up where others wouldn't.

Just this morning, I was lifting weights in the garage,

Ka ching!

King ...ng?

Kira, launch calculator.

Know your limits and defy them daily.

Language, McTaggert, language!

Lesson Number One: Danger's gonna come at you

Let me feel the rush one more time.

Let's bail! C'mon, Randy!

Let's do this. ♪ I've hungered for ♪

Let's do this. For Candice.

Let's face it, drones are for rich kids

Let's focus on getting you swole first, okay?

Let's go!

Let's play "King Kong"!

Let's play.

Life led you to the Y for a reason.

Lifting your daughter.

Like a lady.

Like where I can find him or her or them.

Like you're not a day over 51.

Like, a $2,000 exercise bike.

Like, when is it my turn?