Sex Education (2019) - Season 1 Edit

A bad girl. Let it be known to the world.

A fierce, feminist voice of 20th century Britain, obviously.

A friend of a friend saw it once

A girlfriend.

A good therapist, a, you know... a "good" therapist,

A job where one wrong word could trigger a nervous breakdown,

A job where one wrong word could trigger a nervous breakdown,

A lesson for us all.

A little bit of advice, lovey.

A lot of it's Dad's fault, but mostly it's just...

A new book? Well, that's... that's great!

A party! An actual party that we have actually been invited to.

A sex therapist.

A word to the wise.

A young lad dropped it off. Skinny, sickly looking fella.

Aaah! Aaah!

Aaah.

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! Fuck!

Aah... Mm... Aaah... Hm?

Aah... Oh!

About four months.

About me?

About my... [clicks tongue]

About pornographic images shared on mobile devices.

About the sanitary things, yaaas! [chuckles]

About to shag,

Actually, because their penises are seven feet long.

Actually, don't. I got a rash last time. Let's do it from behind.

Actually, go on then, one beer won't hurt.

Actually, I can't. I've got an essay to write.

Actually, it's... it's good to have a good clean out.

Actually, on second thought...

Actually, there's something I need to do.

Actually, uh... Okay, then. Yeah.

Actually, very good rockets.

Actually... No, it's all right. I'm fine. It's fine.

Adam and the Ants, Aerosmith, Alice in Chains.

Adam couldn't make it,

Adam Groff to the headmaster's office, please.

Adam thought As You Like It was a song by Jay Z.

Adam, it's fine, I can do it myself.

Adam, we should talk about

Adam, what the fuck, man?

Adam!

Adam! Adam, wait. Wait.

Adam?

Adam?

Adam?

Adam?

Adam’s essay.

Adequate.

Agreed. Ritualized teenage fun sucks.

Ah ah! Are those the ones that like to do it in animal costumes?

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Stop.

Ah, so, if...

Ah, stop! Ah! No! [yelps]

Ah, toss.

Ah, you gave us quite a fright, darling.

Ah, you gave us quite a fright, darling.

Ah!

Ah! [stammers]

Ah! Kelly Clarkson! Poet.

Ah. Ha ha ha ha.

Ah...

Ah...

Ah...

Ah...

Ah... Uh...

Ahem.

Ahem. I'm off.

Aimee said you can't come.

Aimee? You all right?

Aimee’s house party.

Aims... I don't...

All of them. I'm a bitch, Maeve. I'm a bitch to everyone.

All right, show’s over. Go on.

All right?

All right? This was your idea.

All right.

All right. All right.

All right. Thanks, man.

All right. You're gonna get bombed.

All right...

All she does is talk about sex. She has zero boundaries.

All the time.

All together now.

Alone.

Alone.

Also, chill out. You jizzed your pants, you're not Hannibal Lecter.

Also, I'm Lily.

Also, your grades are very impressive, and we are aiming to improve our average.

Although he's a very rigid man.

Am I gonna get a house tour, then, or what?

An amateur?

And a normal dad.

And a plastic cock and balls.

And a very angry and actually quite aggressive supplier.

And also, Glenoxi's a bit of a slut.

And also...

And detention for the rest of the term.

And do normal things.

And doing it with someone who likes you must be awesome,

And each person has a history of unique experiences,

And every time she texts you, this happens

And everything's completely normal, until...

And for the soup.

And girls love big gestures, right?

And have you considered the possibility of adoption?

And he can't get his average sized dick in my stupid vagina.

And he really likes your daughter.

And he turns up with a boom box outside her house,

And he turns up with a boom box outside her house,

And he's got a great family.

And he’s putting his bits in their bits.

And how many sexual partners do you currently have?

And I can't keep up.

And I can't stop, and he sees my jizz face?

And I feel clammy...

And I feel like I'm losing you.

And I feel way more guilty about the ones that I had

And I have a brother as well. He's the funniest guy I know, but...

And I heard you sort of give out sex advice.

And I just have no room in my life

And I keep telling you I'm supposed to be with Eric right now,

And I literally thought I was gonna shit myself.

And I really hope that you find what you're looking for.

And I think my clit might drop off.

And I think we should go back to the beginning.

And I thought I liked being that way.

And I tried, but, to be honest, um...

And I want to give you an opportunity to be able to express your feelings.

And I was looking down,

And I was wondering if you wanted to talk about it.

And I'm all orange!

And I'm sorry.

And I'm sorry... if I upset your friend.

And I'm thinking I shouldn't have, 'cause I'm all confused, and... and hot.

And I've just realized it's got shellfish in.

And if you give me a second chance, I will not waste it.

And if you're not careful...

And it hurts, and no one deserves to be shamed, not even Ruby.

And it was serious, but this crazy thing happened.

And it won't happen if you fall off that moon and die.

And it's been a long time since...

And it's like I'm the glue that's holding them together.

And it's painful, but there's nothing we can do about it.

And miss this race.

And my moms might be getting a divorce.

And my nan had just died. I I wasn't myself.

And nearly drowned in her hot tub.

And no one will have sex with me because I'm just the weird virgin girl.

And no, it's not you, Mr. Groff.

And not the cool Snoop Dogg kind.

And not with the cushions.

And now they are evil.

And now they have trouble with sexual performance.

And now you're angry with me, but you're also fixing my sink. [chuckles]

And now, a request. This is for all the couples in the room.

And now, it's all wonky.

And of course, some men also...

And Ola, my daughter, helped me to take care of her when I couldn't.

And on this one you just drew a picture of a

And peddles an unrealistic portrayal of romantic love, so

And peddles an unrealistic portrayal of romantic love. So, no.

And please, be quiet.

And quite a complex understanding of Shakespeare's ability

And reality can be... just, quite different.

And really loving, and...

And she has just found the perfect dress.

And she meets Lord Zortac.

And she now thinks you're a gay basher.

And she thinks it's totally acceptable.

And she was flattered.

And she's hot. Why didn't you say she was hot?

And she’s the best kind of cool,

And sometimes I do the wrong thing.

And sometimes, you meet someone who feels the same way.

And status means popular.

And thank you for coming.

And that the radiation can cause a cancer of the balls?

And that's my dick.

And that's still weird.

And the chat.

And the human rights issues, but...

And the latter is barely remembered as a philosophical movement.

And the whole thing was a waste of time

And then he comes.

And then he just goes on and on and on.

And then how did that make you feel?

And then I'll go to uni and I'll be behind everyone,

And then I'll grow old and die alone in my house,

And then I'll never have sex

And then she dumped him because he wore the wrong socks to school.

And then she ignores me for days.

And then straight back on to the book tour.

And then the song and then the feminist stuff that you like.

And then you just hate everything about Sweden.

And then you move on to the next conquest, before it gets too intimate.

And then you will face an external tribunal

And then, uh, smash you, uh, head to head with an 18 wheeler truck

And there it is.

And there's a speed dating event for jazz lovers

And they don’t want us because...

And they go, "He's just a guy in the corner."

And they say, "Who’s that guy?"

And this feels potentially quite zeitgeisty.

And thought,

And thrust it towards her abdominal sex cavity.

And us. It... has to stop.

And we do desperately need a French horn.

And we need their money.

And we split just after the publication.

And we’re just two losers that nobody wants.

And what are you doing here so early, Maeve?

And what makes them even more fascinating is that there are thousands of them here.

And when I'm doing it with Jessa...

And who's gonna be there to collect you after the procedure?

And why have I got dick hands?"

And you already know all that, don't you?

And you also spelt out "I love you" on her lawn in leaves?

And you are my blind spot.

And you can't deal with it.

And you can't even jack your beanstalk.

And you could be humiliated.

And you do this quite often, romancing your customers.

And you don't answer many… Is that a therapist thing?

And you need to work on your delivery skills.

And you realize you don’t have the right screw

And you realize you don’t have the right screw

And you...

And you're here.

And you're not repressed,

And you're squished to the road, and you're dead.

And you've abandoned me for someone that you've known for five seconds.

And your body

And, at first, she despises him,

And, like, last week, I got chased by a fox, and Kyle threw a shoe at it.

And, sometimes, you're unlucky.

And, uh... [clears throat]

And, well, the magazine was a bit overkill.

And? Apparently, last time, Warhammer Tom drank 14 Jägerbombs

And... And also, I was mad that she said I smelt like crisps.

And... I'm so sorry.

And... No, actually, I don't wanna talk about this.

And... some of it is your fault.

Angry.

Anwar, I think we should let him help her.

Any other ideas?

Anyone got any STIs?

Anyone who says differently is selling something.

Anything you say is fine. There's no judgment.

Anyway, I love hosting.

Anyway, I thought you called her a house cat.

Anyway, I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything.

Anyway, I'd better go. Bye, Otis.

Anyway, point is, whoever did this

Anyway, she's not gonna fall for this whole performance.

Anyway, your 8:30 awaits.

Apparently, I broke him.

Apparently, there's been an outbreak of pubic lice.

Are any of you even listening? No, I didn't think so. Anyway...

Are we... are we not gonna talk about this? Is that it?

Are you a bodybuilder?

Are you a friend of Otis'?

Are you enjoying the party?

Are you going to write me up?

Are you going?

Are you gonna sniff my head again?

Are you listening to Sløtface?

Are you mental?

Are you some kind of bodybuilder?

Are you suggesting I don't know what my own son sounds like?

Are you sure? I mean...

Are you writing another book?

Aren't you supposed to say something encouraging?

Aren’t we so proud?

As an individual.

As he gets closer to orgasm, you can speed up.

As in, you mean do I wanna have sex with my mum?

As she pulled his glistening phallus inside her,

As we all know...

As you all know, we are holding a charity event next week

Ask me again in a week.

Ask me in an hour.

Asshole.

Asshole.

At 15 weeks, a baby can see light.

At 15 weeks, your baby can see light.

At eight weeks, your baby's heart is beating.

At last we meet.

At least I'm not expelled.

At least you got Adam to leave me alone.

Attraction.

Award goes to...

Awesome.

Awkward. I'm Dan.

Aww! I wish my mum was a sex guru.

Aww! You both look so smart.

Aww.

Aww. Don't you want to live happily ever after?

Aww. Listen, who needs her, anyway?

Bacon!

Bad.

Badass?

Based on his choice of Hawaiian shirt.

Basically, I had to disappear.

Be proud of your penis and your heritage.

Be right back.

Bearded piece of fucking shit.

Because Adam is going to kill you in your own home.

Because friends are supposed to listen to each other.

Because he was responsible for killing her entire family

Because he's ruined his trousers.

Because I...

Because I'll be too embarrassed and weird and virginal,

Because I'm a loser and she is a lioness.

Because I'm getting a life beyond our friendship,

Because I'm in love with Maeve, all right? There, I admit it. Are you happy?

Because I'm ready when you are.

Because no one in this place even knows it yet.

Because of the failure you have become!

Because she's my mum.

Because smoking is definitely not vegan.

Because someone like Maeve is never gonna be interested in me,

Because the headmistress embezzled our finances.

Because they really get you.

Because we've been friends since we were nine years old,

Because you're difficult, Maeve, to know.

Because you're the best.

Because you’re embarrassing.

Because, recently...

Before assembly and after every race.

Before he joined our church, he had a...

Before you talk to Steve, you... you should probably figure out...

Belle falls in love with a giant beast who's imprisoned her.

Besides, didn't Jesus say something about forgiveness?

Bet you they have loads of toilets.

Between existentialism and transcendentalism,

Beware the wild female.

Biology went over.

Bitch, please.

Blasting her favorite song, and everyone in the audience swoons?

Blasting her favorite song, and everyone in the audience swoons?

Bloody hell! I won't do it again, then. Sorry for asking.

Bloody hell.

Blow on my ear and get ready for fireworks.

Breaking the lawn chair, skinning the fish.

Brilliant soundtrack. Iconic amongst the LGBTQI community.

But be careful with how much you smoke.

But can I just stay in here for a bit? Um...

But Charlie's born again.

But chilled.

But for some reason, I'm here with you and the carpet.

But he had a big bag with him.

But he was blazed when it happened, so it only hurt a bit.

But he, like...

But he's...

But his phallus grew limp.

But I am watching you with my ears. [laughs]

But I did feel that it was important to tell you

But I did hear it.

But I don't understand.

But I guess I wasn't expecting it to hurt quite so much.

But I guess it should have said, "Sorry."

But I have, I've got one and I've looked at it a lot.

But I know exactly what I want.

But I know I can be better.

But I missed my bus, so thanks for that.

But I need your help. Everything you said worked.

But I really commend you on your directness and your bravado

But I really want to have sex.

But I think he looks nice.

But I think,

But I want to have sex, so why would I do that?

But I was an idiot because I wanted to hide how I felt.

But I'm afraid my pipe's burst under my sink.

But I've sort of realized that I want her to hang around with me more.

But if I don't go down on him, he won't go down on me.

But if it’s very heavy, then you should call us straightaway.

But if that guy even sees a Kama Sutra, he will destroy your life.

But if they had been here today to see my little sister,

But in a fun way that engages all sides of your brain.

But in every cloud, there is a rainstorm.

But instead of talking about mental health stuff, she talks about sex.

But it can also cause tremendous pain.

But it has very serious consequences

But it seemed like it was a big step.

But it will not be me!

But it... it's just a job.

But it's a client.

But it's all about her.

But it's definitely you.

But it's just that... well, we didn't think...

But it's over.

But just the good bits.

But maybe her dad squished the message on the cake with his foot,

But maybe reconsider your outfit just in case it is a date.

But my fear is he found out that...

But my little sister, Maeve, is going to her first school dance tonight

But my wife died.

But neither is likely to change.

But neither of you are listening.

But no teeth, especially if you’re packin' metal, Natalie.

But one can only try.

But one day, you're gonna meet someone who appreciates you for who you are

But our problem is with the sex, not the relationship.

But she hasn't actually said no.

But she left.

But she's not a snob. I mean, she'll listen to pop.

But so am I.

But so is algebra. I'll probably have to choose one or the other next year.

But somehow it makes it better.

But that's not why I'm here.

But that's only 'cause he set his jeans on fire.

But then she dumped me for Glen Jacobs.

But then she forgives him when he agrees to become her sex slave...

But then, she wants to do it again and round and round we go.

But this is so great for you guys! [laughs]

But we can do better. Yeah?

But we say nasty stuff about everyone.

But what I'd like you to do is, really, first, just mind map.

But when we have sex...

But why...

But with buttons done up wrong

But with words.

But yeah, she's constantly asking me inappropriate things,

But you are... so different.

But you can't go around punching people.

But you can't make people like you.

But you don't wanna hang out with her. I get it.

But you mustn't feel left behind.

But you're growing up, and...

But you're not honest at all.

But you're right, I can be, uh... impulsive.

But your outlook can.

But, hey, did you guys manage to find any clients?

But, hey, it's just your education, right?

But, remember that Leon has leukemia

But, um, I needed to know about scissoring.

But, um, just between you and me, he's, um...

But, um... I don't really write anymore.

But?

But...

But...

But... Did you and Maeve, like, date or something?

Bye, Casual Hamm.

Bye, Dad.

Bye, Jackson.

Bye, Jackson.

Bye, Mr. Builder.

Bye, then.

Bye, then.

Bye!

Bye.

Bye.

C'est la vie.

Calm down. Calm down. Calm down.

Calmly moving on.

Can Can we change the channels?

Can I get back to you on that?

Can I get back to you?

Can I have everyone's attention, please?

Can I talk to you for a sec?

Can we get a show of hands, please?

Can we stop talking about Maeve, please? Look, it was a weird blip.

Can you come and pick me up?

Can you do that?

Can you go and see if he's all right?

Can you help?

Can you just go and ask?

Can you not even get hard now?

Can you not shout, okay?

Can you smell...

Can't Action Man buy you a dress?

Can't I just have one fun night? I never do this kind of thing.

Can't I just have one fun night? I never do this kind of thing.

Can't imagine being afraid of my own dad.

Captain of the Warhammer Society. His balls finally dropped.

Case in point, even Maeve Wiley's boobs have gotten bigger,

Chapter One. "Otis's surprise emission."

Charlie can't change his past. And what's important is who he is now.

Check if you like.

Cheers, boy. Have fun, guys.

Chocolate chips, which I shall arrange into smiley faces

Christ, I feel like a teenager. [sighs]

Christ! Just take the bloody photo, Maureen.

Client testimonials. But we've only had one other client.

Clinic's over. Sorry.

Closer!

Coincidence? I think not.

Combined with a very ill informed drunken night out,

Come and hang out again.

Come in.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Come on, hombre. Andale.

Come on, I can pay double.

Come on, it won't be good without you.

Come on, it's not it won't take long. I've gotta be somewhere, too.

Come on, Jackson!

Come on, Jackson!

Come on, Jackson! Yes!

Come on, Jackson! Yes!

Come on, let's get the fuck out of here.

Come on, let's go get you some punch.

Come on, man. Look, we talk, we laugh. We have crazy good sex.

Come on, man. Not my Curly Wurly.

Come on, Otis, he's Jackson and I'm... You know.

Come on, please?

Come on, that's right! Go on!

Come on, then. Aaah!

Come on, then. Tell me about your golden boy.

Come on, you know you want to.

Come on!

Come on!

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Comin'.

Completely inappropriate.

Complex female characters.

Condoms aren't always a hundred percent effective.

Congratulations.

Conrad.

Cons?

Considering you had absolutely nothing to do with it.

Cool beans.

Cool.

Cool. Cool.

Cool. We'll just have sex in the back of my car forever.

Cool. Yeah. I'll book you in.

Correct. [chuckles]

Could be anywhere.

Could turn the topic of dreams into existential angst.

Could you give me a leg up?

Could you not tell anyone about this, please?

Could you... possibly take a look at something else first?

Count yourself lucky she didn't bite your scrote.

Course he will. If you keep trying.

Course you are. We're going together.

Cranberry juice is good for thrush.

Crochet.

D.

Dad, I think I know who

Dad, it wasn't...

Dad, it's okay. It's a costume.

Dad?

Dad. [laughing]

Daddy was naked with that lady in his office.

Dancey dancey dancing! That's right!

Dancey!

Darling, you're wearing a hat.

Deal's off.

Dear Father God,

Decking the other gay guy, yeah, that's perfect, Eric.

Dedicating our entire lives to your success?

Deflowering the maiden.

Descriptive words, Tim?

Detention for the rest of term.

Dickhead!

Dickhead.

Did a fart on Mr. Hendricks' head?

Did he tell you where he was goin'? Or...

Did it sound like Adam to you?

Did someone try and hurt you?

Did you and your little friend get them from your brother?

Did you come back for your shoes?

Did you find Madam?

Did you guys see Ola?

Did you hear that?

Did you know that at six weeks, your baby can feel?

Did you know that humans are not the only species to perform fellatio?

Did you know that they emit radiation

Did you know that whales only have sex for 35 seconds?

Did you see anybody take my coat? It had my phone and wallet in it.

Did you see anyone take my coat? It had my phone and my wallet in it.

Did you talk to him about your fight with Eric?

Did you... you know?

Didn't he tell you?

Didn't know what it was.

Didn't look like nothin'.

Didn't Maeve tell you? I just I don't wanna say it again.

Didn't think so.

Died in combat and our mum passed shortly after.

Diligent, reliable, resilient.

Disappear again and I'll stab you in the eye.

Disappear again and I'll stab you in the eye.

Disappointed, Glenoxi left the room.

Do I ever remind you of Dad?

Do we have to?

Do you always avoid questions like this?

Do you have an Oedipal complex?

Do you have any idea what you have done?

Do you have any music?

Do you have things in common?

Do you have to be so much?

Do you have to be so vigorous?

Do you hear what he's saying, Kate?

Do you know how it started?

Do you know how long I've been called Cock Biter?

Do you know what sex is, Otis?

Do you know what? I I'm just gonna go.

Do you know why you're here?

Do you know you are the only person

Do you like being out of control?

Do you like my tits?

Do you like Ola?

Do you love me?

Do you love me?

Do you need money? I can lend you some.

Do you reckon his brain is so small 'cause his dick is so big?

Do you see them?

Do you still want me to wait?

Do you think I like getting up at 4:30 every morning,

Do you think people are havin' a good time?

Do you think you could possibly come and fix it?

Do you understand, Liam?

Do you use contraception?

Do you wanna come on my face?

Do you wanna come on them?

Do you wanna get monged?

Do you wanna go out with me?

Do you wanna hang out later?

Do you wanna meet my parents tonight? They've been asking about you, so...

Do you want a sandwich?

Do you want me to come in? I can just

Do you want me to come inside with you?

Do you want me to go down on you? Ruthie?

Do you want one?

Do you want some background of the clients, or...

Do you want some?

Do you want to come in and we can get started?

Do you want to come in for a bit?

Do you want to go home?

Do you want to go to the ball with me?

Do you want to kiss me?

Do you, erm... [clears throat] Do you... like manga?

Do you... do you want to go to the dance with me?

Does it hurt?

Does it hurt?

Does that make sense?

Doesn't matter. Maeve said the whole thing is off, so...

Doesn't mean we're bad people.

Doesn’t he remind you of someone?

Doesn’t she look so pretty?

Dog shit?

Don't be a man child, get a move on. I'm late for work!

Don't be late.

Don't be late.

Don't be like that. Come on. What's goin' on with you? Let's catch up!

Don't be ridiculous.

Don't be stupid.

Don't bother, okay? You shouldn’t be walkin' dogs if you can’t control them.

Don't feel like talking.

Don't fucking...

Don't give a fuck about your pencil case. Curly Wurly.

Don't give it away next time.

Don't go in my room.

Don't go too deep. Looks awkward.

Don't go.

Don't kid yourself. You did not drop out for me.

Don't let anyone take that away from you.

Don't look.

Don't misuse it.

Don't push me.

Don't take it personally, okay?

Don't take too long, though.

Don't tell me you choked again.

Don't worry about it.

Don't worry. Left handed.

Don't you take that tone with me, young lady.

Don’t be surprised if he doesn’t seem keen.

Down in a minute!

Down to compatible pheromones.

Dude, I am so proud of you.

Dude, where’s my hat?

Dude, why is your mum here?

Dude, your mum has a lot of weird sex shit in the house.

During the reign of which British king?

During the war of Gamma Velorum,

E Man. What's up today?

E.

Earlier this year, our dad, who served this country bravely,

Earliest memory,

Eat it!

Ed Sheeran. I mean, say what you want about the little fella, but...

Eh...

Eh... Did you get my text?

Eh... I'm an odd person.

Eh... I'm an odd person.

Eh... Yeah... Yes, um... I do.

Elevator pitch.

Emotional blackmail, demanding an apology. This is some girl shit.

Enjoy suspension, trumpet boy.

Enough!

Enough. Enough! This is ineffective communication!

Entry is compulsory.

Er, Adam Groff.

Er, and also classes to attend,

Er, Joseph Conman.

Er, let's start today's assembly with a very special announcement.

Er, look.... Let's go to bed. We can talk about this in the morning.

Er, the winner of this year's sixth form essay competition has been decided.

Er, you wanted to see me, sir?

Er...

Er... [chuckles]

Er... ah... Okay! Okay! Okay. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!

Er... In ten years' time..

Er... Okay. Well, it's not an emergency.

Er... We need to talk about...

Er... Yeah, it's, erm... life changing, actually.

Eric Effiong to Mr. Groff's office.

Eric, I'm giving the money back.

Eric, wait!

Eric, you can't go out dressed like this. Go and change.

Eric.

Eric.

Eric...

Eric... why are you so angry?

Eric's got a girlfriend!

Erm...

Erm... Er...

Erm... That was... I need a safe word. [chuckles]

Erm... Ye Yes, already said.

Especially when there's a nicer guy with rock hard abs.

Even though Mum says it'll make my face look chubby?

Ever so serious,

Everybody's either thinking about shagging,

Everyone has bodies, right. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

Everyone inside, now!

Everyone likes chocolate.

Everyone loves you.

Everyone stop staring.

Everyone treatin' me like shit.

Everyone's got a picture of my lovely big dick.

Everyone's watching me all the time. Everyone's like,

Everything all right, love?

Everything just works.

Everything was perfect.

Everything.

Everything's changing round here, and it's changing fast.

Ex husband.

Examine the ways that Rosalind, uh, tests Orlando's love for her

Except, the problem is, we can't afford this dress,

Exchanging money.