Space Ghost Coast to Coast - Season 1 Edit

A cloud of swarming locusts.

A fair? I love fairs!

A kid knows bugs bunny's jokin' around.

A medium power band.

A non... nothing character.

A sausage and mayonnaise soup with a cream of corn omelet... Oh, no

A sense of humor is very important, space ghost.

A victim of your own self pity.

Aaaaaaaaaaah!

Aaargh!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! Aah! This sucks!

Absolutely, space ghost.

Absolutely. Absolutely

Absolutely. What do we haverabbit?

Acid eaters, that's our latest album.

Acknowledged

Actually, it was a political thing.

Actually, that... that was very good.

Adam west refuses to become Batman and help me.

Adam, go peddle your book somewhere else.

Against the world?

Ah choo!

Ah choo!

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Ah ha ha ha!

Ah, ha ha ha!

Ah, ok.

Ah!

Ah.

Ah. About 15 seconds or so left.

Ah. Home.

Ah. Uh... do the word part.

Ahem.

Ahem.

Ahem. I mean, Bruce Wayne.

Ahh!

Ahh.

Ahh. Ohh

Ahh. Ok.

Ahhhhhhhh!

Alf,thetonight show , andtrue stories of

All right then, you punks, you're musicians.

All right, put her through

All right, we're back

All right!

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Let me open the book and read.

All rightie.

All rightie.

All righty

All righty then!

All righty, we're back.

All righty!

All righty.

All righty.

All righty. My first guest chronicled the first... nope.

All righty. My first guest is... space ghost?

All righty. Our next guest has been called Uncle Tim, the guru of

All those years, and you forgot the words?

All within the domain of the sea monkey bowl.

Allows us to think.

Allthe answers?

Already done.

Also known as rue mcclanahan.

Also, he shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

Although I've never been on the show before.

Although, the locust... hmm... I don't know.

Am I a difficult guest?

An evil ploy by your mother.

An oil painting with my butt.

And a mantis was thus spawned.

And a pair of people who wear masks.

And a pianist.

And all my books would come to life every week, which would be just,

And drink coffee and chew them up.

And former partridge family member Danny bona

And give me control of the universe.

And he knows how to be sensitive.

And he's shallow.

And how are you, bobcat?

And I didn't want to grind down two good teeth and put caps

And I have more trophies.

And I know, space ghost, there's no way you could like yourself

And I tried to be as dangerous to him as I could be.

And I want to

And I was ruling it.

And I woke up in love this * I woke up in love this morning *

And I'm c.J

And I'm engaged to zigfried and Roy.

And I'm Joey.

And I'm marky ramone.

And I'm moltar ramone.

And I'm zorak ramone.

And it said that, you know, nobody could be after her... so there goes

And it's just now coming out?

And listen, I'm not trying to be weird or anything, but...

And millions of Miles away

And Mr. Hyde episode, and I got to be an eliza Doolittle character

And offer useless advice and mess with your horn section?

And once you've learned to fake that, then you got it made.

And since Adam bailed out, we could use some help.

And so I got a lot of friends out there.

And spit it back out?

And swirls of color and making you feel better and better, yeah...

And that was 431/2 years ago.

And the dissident, Dr. Timothy leary.

And the gum?

And the monsignor will be blacklisted, and the pope

And the name of your book is?

And the trouble was the pianist kept running into the control room

And then, what I did, was decide to become a talk show host.

And to have some gum.

And to punch out Donny osmond or, really, any member of the osmond family.

And U.S. department of education What are these?

And what do you do?

And what?

And what's his name?

And you can't come 'cause you're punks and punks don't go to parties.

And you don't have to pay attention because the Mr. mantis

And you got to keep trying because as soon as you give up, the game is over with.

And you wouldn't know unless somebody told you that people were

And zorak!

And, you know, al, that little sea monkey is named banjo.

Ant humans, reap my wrath, when, I, zorak, rule the earth

Any certain way I shouldwatchtv?

Any final thoughts?

Any freeze dried, yogurty, malty looking thing.

Any other kind of forks I don't seem to be able to bend.

Any parting wishes for the galaxy?

Any parting wishes for the galaxy?

Any parting words?

Anything white and creamy, freeze dried stay away from it.

Anythingelse?

Anyway, next question, please, space cadet.

Appearing with us on this episode will be the comedienne, Judy tenuta

Are friends just enemies who... uh, anyway, I fly, you don't

Are there prizes for these questions?

Are we doing the scene now and you didn't even count it down?

Are we on or..

Are you comfortable?

Are you disappointed... a call on the space feed!

Are you done, zorak?

Are you going to eat that?

Are you going to look, or are you going to buy?

Are you in good spirits?

Are you in trouble with the law?

Are you interested in frolicking in a leafy glade?

Are you involved with the FBI or something?

Are you lookin' at me?

Are you related to beavis or butt head?

Are you serious?

Are you sure, zorak?

Are you there, son?

Are your faces wrinkly like smoked meat?

Aren't you plucky, finding your way to the set?

Aren't you space ghost?

As you know, I got my start in show business doing action adventure.

Ashley judd? I thought she was next week.

Astonishing

Available at Murray's.

Aw, this isn't fun anymore.

Awwwww.

Baby.

Back in the sixties.

Back in the vault.

Bad banjo. I'm not cleaning that up.

Banjo!

Banjo! Banjo!

Banjo.

Banjo. Oh, banjo!

Barbecued shrimp.

Barney's gonna make more kids snap than bugs bunny.

Batman and... I am batmantis!

Batmantis and I will fight you to the end.

Batmantis is no match for me.

Batmantis!

Be in an egg fight, Robin and I, with egghead.

Because people needso much help.

Because we really do need your help.

Because you have a split personality.

Because you're a cartoon character.

Become Batman and help me.

Before we begin, I'd just like to point out to our viewers

Before you go, bill, do you have any words of wisdom to tell us?

Before you go...

Behind me is really close, it's actually millions

Better never than late.

Better than you do.

Bill, I respect you.

Bill, I'm part of the late night talk show war.

Bill, in your book, you reverance 11...

Bite me!

Bloopers.

Bluh bluh bluh.

Bob and dawn claim it wasn't real.

Bob Denver says gilligan's island wasn't real.

Bob Denver says gilligan's island wasn't real.

Bobcat invited me to a party with a party cake and lemonade and paper hats

Bonbonaduckie.

Boy, did you get rooked!

Boy, if only we could really just fry them.

Boy, it's a gr... you have pinchers.

Boy, space ghost, you're really switching gears.

Branford I mean, branford... Before you go, will you scat?

Branford marsalis

Branford, I wonder... does doc severinsen ever show up

Branford!

Bring you down

Buckle up for safety.

But first, welcome zorak and the original way outs!

But I do remember conan

But I don't think they're psychic at all... excuse me.

But I think that's why he was chosen to be Batman, because it's sort of

But I think the one I like to watch most was the Hamlet.

But I want some.

But I've been retaining a lot of fluids lately, so probably, like,

But on a serious note, bobcat, how would you stop crime in America?

But only at Denny's.

But you can fly, like you did on the show, correct?

But you gotta look away for a little while

But, rich, I alwaytell the truth.

But, you know, maybe when we get to the paperback, you'll be a hit.

But... but I'm a mantis.

By the way, if you call that, you actually get an old lady

Bye bye...

Bye then.

Can we come over for dinner?

Can you handle it, hog?

Can you help me?

Can you help me?

Can you see every painful detail of my muscular physique?

Can you shut him up?

Can you wait?

Chemicals, tacos, fajitas, chimichangas, quesadillas, burritos,

Chips.

Chitty chitty bang bang,

Cindy guyer, what are you doin' now?

Cindy, what kind of men do you like?

Citizen Bob, you have a book out:

Citizen Joe, we're thrilled to have you on.

Citizen schooly...

Citizen, could I affectionately call you gilligan?

Clapboard milk?

Clean your room.

Colossal. Why?

Come back and see us again.

Come closer to the goddess and I will tell you.

Come get some.

Come on, come on, come on, get to the wreck

Come on, wreck. Wreck!

Come on!

Cool.

Correct!

Cough up some tips.

Crack a window, will ya?

Criminy! What's the ruckus, zorak?

Cut the act, sister.

Cut!

D.J. Space g.

D'oh!

Danger! Danger!

Danny, do you mind my asking how much you made from all

Danny, what was your favorite partridge family song?

Danny, you sound rather hoarse

Dawn, you seem so nice, it must be my birthday.

Dian, I have ways of making you talk about the fair

Did you bring enough for everyone? No, but I'll have some shortly

Dine with you.

Display them.

Do a b flat.

Do a sniglet!

Do a sniglet!

Do continue.

Do my own little series calledsea witch

Do not!

Do not!

Do not!

Do people want to be your friend because you're so famous?

Do so!

Do so!

Do so!

Do tell!

Do you eat your young?

Do you have any advice for me to follow?

Do you have any aspirin, doc?

Do you have any other questions?

Do you have enough air?

Do you have enough oxygen?

Do you have enough oxygen?

Do you know what gum is?

Do you think I'm pretty?

Do you think kids named mobley are secretly planning crimes

Does Mary Ann have any recipes for Tina Louise humble pie?

Does my music frighten you?

Don't be late now.

Don't do that!

Don't look at me.

Don't tell 'em the truth, ok, space ghost?

Don't they spit on their food first and then mulch it up

Don't you get that, space man, space master?

Don't you think Hamlet would have been funnier if they were stranded

Don't you think you should thank me?

Dr. brothers, can you work with me here?

Drama critic, I've got... We will be right back.

Drummer for pearl jam!

Duce!

Earth decides to commit against me.

Eat your peas.

Eating with a gigantic locust

Echo valley 26809 was one of my favorites.

Echo valley 26809 was one of my favorites.

Eh, excuse me... Then therapists can read... um, excuse me?

Energized!

Enough! Susan's back.

Enough! Susan's back.

Episode ofblossom where the entire cast gets ball peen hammers in the kneecaps.

Er...Uh...Uh... Go ahead, zorak.

European?

Every time I sing something about flowers, I lose some of my powers.

Everyone on earth must follow me.

Everything.

Ew! Joke's over!

Eww.

Excuse me.

Explain yourself.

Farmer's daughter?

Fine, fine, fine.

Fine, fine, fine.

Fire! Fire!

First, we'll have to pull out all the dirty words you used.

Fly fast and, uh, whatever it is you eat, make sure it's

Fly.

For me. Mine. My gum.

For people to divine your motivation.

Friends are just enemies who don't have the guts to kill you.

Frightens evil villains.

From gilligan's island

From the ceiling.

Ft:

Funny, Adam.

Gentlemen, if I kissed you, would you understand that I was simply being

Gesundheit!

Get on your knees and beg me.

Get out!

Getting what they deserve.

Ghost planet.

Giant insect unicycle?

Gilligan and I were just talking Shakespeare.

Gilligan, maynard & me.

Gilligan. Yes, I rather like that.

Gimme your money.

Give us the dirt

Give us the name in its entirety!

Go

Go ahead

Go ahead, earth boy.

Go ahead.

Go get me some breakfast.

Good costume

Good one, bill.

Good solo. That's great

Good, good, good.

Good. I'll be here when you get back.

Good. Russell, everybody has books.

Got it.

Got to do something.

Got to go now.

Got to say that it's my opinion that they pretty much are

Great! You're back, Adam.

Greetings, Cindy.

Greetings, jerky boys

Greetings, Johnny.

Greetings! I am space ghost.

Greetings. I am space ghost.

Greetings. I'm space ghost.

Greetings. I'm space ghost.

Gross.

Gross.

Grrr!

Grrrrr... So if you ask a little child who hasn't... you'renotgoing

Guilty!

Gum!

Gum?

Ha ha ha ha

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha... That was... that was a good one.

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Bugging me.

Ha ha ha! Come on, space ghost, come on!

Ha ha ha! Oh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Say... To be or not to be, that's Shakespeare, isn't it?

Ha ha ha! That doc! You've got to love him!

Ha ha!

Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha.

Ha!

Ha!

Ha!

Ha! Ha ha ha!

Ha! I win, zorak!

Ha. Ho ho!

Halt. Who goes there?

Hammocks of straw while the fiery river of death flows rampant. Ha!

Hardly! I keep the universe safe!

Has it been there all night?

Have dinner, purchase fine autos, and perform other daily life activities,

Have to battle us

Have to use freeze ray.

Have you ever been snatched away by a pack of wild dingoes?

Have you ever met batmantis?

Have you ever met Donny osmond, space ghost?

Have you ever seen evil so personified as you do in his skeletal shell?

He called me "the most dangerous man alive"

He doesn't do anything to help the universe.

He doesn't!

He e e e e e e re... E e e e e e e e e re's Johnny!

He e e ey. I want that donut and stuff.

He had wit and muscle.

He has all the money, all the babes, all the cars.

He is a stand up comedian.

He is bobcat goldthwait.

He played the Professor.

He was asking you... where's zorak's gum?

He'll think the school has been infiltrated by communist spies,

He's a locust.

He's a wacky, zany, nutty funster.

He's a... Uh.... What are you, Joe?

He's crazy

He's evil

He's good... Don't you think?

He's got a small brain.

He's locked in a subzero vaporizing cabinet, where he'll catch his death.

He's not afraid to be soft

He's really in touch with his feminine side.

He's really quite evil.

He's right

He's the host. He's just like you.

He'sgot the problem!

Hee hee hee!

Heed my will.

Heh heh heh heh heh.

Heh heh heh heh!

Heh heh. Judy, what is your true form?

Hello, bee gees.

Hello, citizen Danny.

Hello, Susan. Susan?

Hello!

Hello!

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello? I've got to find these guys

Hello.

Hello. I am space ghost

Here he comes now.

Here. Have one of my special super vitamins

Here's another favorite.

Here's Johnny!

Hey, al, tell us about your new record.

Hey, fellows, I know a great polynesian restaurant up the street

Hey, how do you turn these things off?

Hey, isn't zorak handsome and nice?

Hey, it's a 15 minute show, and we have to take a break.

Hey, it's me watching me watching me watching me.

Hey, Jack.

Hey, Joey.

Hey, listen to me

Hey, look at my hand!

Hey, space ghost, I'm trying to work here.

Hey, space ghost.

Hey, tell me about your music.

Hey, thanks!

Hey, that's not branford!

Hey, this thing in the monitor is not my mother.

Hey, you guys got a cake!

Hey, you were catwoman, weren't you?

Hey, you're like the female fabio!

Hey, zorak, is that a new wig?

Hey, zorak, that Dr. Brothers sure was a nut!

Hey, zorak, that was pretty good.

Hey, zorak, you... shut up.

Hey! * Sha doobie doobie wa ba dabba *

Hi, I am space ghost.

Hi, I'm Johnny ramone.

Hi, Judy.

Hi, people of the universe. Hi!

Hi, space ghost. Well, I've been very busy, but before I even say what

Hi! I'm space ghost!

Hi. I'm moltar.

High volume, low fat.

Him being on television because an executive said his face scared small children

His chest size does look diminished.

Hmm, what kind?

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm. I see what you mean

Hmm. Russell?

Hmm. That's expensive.

Hmm. Well, you just listen to me, you punks, I don't want any

Ho ho ha ha ha ha ha! Ah ha!

Hold on, Russell

Holy stolen lava, space ghost!

Homemade raviolis.

Hoo!

How about "mantis do gooder"?

How about * space ghost, space ghost, you're the most *

How about * weh weh weh weh weh wa wa wa wa wa wa *

How about a nice, pleated skirt?

How about I call you chicken woman?

How about love?

How about zorak and moltar?

How are the kids, Jack?

How are you doing?

How are you?

How did it all begin?

How did you recharge the batteries for that radio?

How does it feel to be on a ghost planet?

How long have you hated men?

How was the transport to the ghost planet?

How ya doin'?

How's that?

Huh huh, huh huh. This is cool. Ha ha ha.

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

I ache with disease.

I actually have a couple.

I agree.

I agree.

I agree. You're my idol, and I hope in my next incarnation I'll be floating

I always thought of bing being, what you would say, mechanically reproduced.

I always thought of bing Crosby... Joe, you're Mr. talk show.

I am batmantis!

I am becoming... uh...Uh...

I am comfortable, space ghost.

I am looking at you.

I am not, nor have I ever been a schizophrenic.

I am the goddess of the galaxy.

I am the lone locust of the apocalypse.

I am your mother.

I amnot!

I amnot.

I await your decision.

I await your decision.

I become the princess, the saloon girl, the... cave woman.

I beg your pardon?

I call it recipes and reminiscence.

I came on your show because I'm a big fan, not to plug my latest album.

I can bake really good chocolate pies.

I can bake really good chocolate pies.

I can see that you're desperately trying to develop one, and that's good.

I can turn red traffic lights green just by staring at them, and I can do

I can't control it.

I certainly am

I command you to play it.

I could break his stick body in half if I wanted to.

I could go for a..

I couldn't be more comfortable.

I create fantasy... for people.

I didn't hear you... "hello, America.

I do nostalgia news all day long... We have to do a commercial, Joe.

I do thank you

I don't care that we're back.

I don't get it

I don't get it.

I don't know

I don't know how!

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't like oatmeal cookies.

I don't like them one bit!

I don't think she has one.

I don't want them too strong and macho.

I fly and save planets from peril

I gave you life.

I get possessed by others, like Cher.

I had the most awful dream.

I had them in my control.

I had to think about that. Uh... No. It wasn't real.

I hate this tape.

I have a batmantis

I have a batmantis.

I have a book out called here on gilligan's isle.

I have a new book calledpositive plus:

I have a Robin, space ghost.

I have a Robin.

I have an addiction to...Fire.

I have an addiction to...Fire.

I have none, and I'm totally defenseless at this point to whatever assault

I have that.

I have to get out of here.

I have to go, Adam... er, Batman.

I have to go, sea monkeys.

I haven't, but I can hardly wait

I hear blossom hates you.

I just don't think she's real happy with, um, always being connected

I just hurled in my helmet.

I kind of figured that out.

I know you're really Batman, but can I call you Adam, Adam?

I left zorak in the square with thousands of earthlings!

I like a man that's, you know, a man, but real down to earth,

I like to think of myself as a male g.I. Joe.

I like you, bobcat

I lived.

I love it that you're invisible, and that you don't eat my food

I love the one where they all eat contaminated geritol and die.

I love you...

I mean, Bruce

I mean, I think it's just good the way it is.

I mean, I'm just saying that as a... From one guy to another, you know?

I mean, tell me about your slacks.

I mean, you're a superhero.

I must go to the control room

I must go to the store to get butter and cheese.

I need your superpowers.

I promise you, there'd be a half an hour of nonviolent America.

I really don't think I've done anything wrong.

I rule.

I said here's Johnny!

I said I'm rehabilitating zorak.

I said, did your mail order come in yet?

I said, you can't read.

I said, you reverance 11:30

I see what you're doing, putting the lonely mantis routine

I see you have your accordion.

I see you're chewing gum

I see.

I see.

I see.

I see. So, dawn, what have you been up to?

I shiver with power.

I take much pleasure in knowing you.

I think he's enjoying his retirement.

I think I have to sing about it.

I think I'll use my NASA voice.

I think it's dian Parkinson

I think it's the next one.

I think it's time to take a break.

I think so. I think it was like the crowning achievement was to have

I think some people are willing... excuse me!

I think that was pleasant patter.

I think that's what my coif actually looks like, what if rutger hauer and curly Howard pounded out a baby.

I think the one to do, to film, was the... it was a Dr. Jekyll

I think they're fun to watch... zorak:

I think Tina's more serious about a dramatic career than a comedy career

I think we have some footage of you escaping the bush.

I think you needed some superhero confidence in your, uh...Sexuality.

I think you wanna stop crime in America, you say a very special

I think you've crossed the line here.

I thought Bruce boxleitner was infinal possessions.

I thought you guys were my friends.

I travel all throughout the galaxy, you know, doing my comedy.

I trust the particle transformation was comfy.

I understand that you have special powers.

I understand you're in radio now. Plug your station!

I used to be so pretty... In Paris.

I used to watch you as a kid.

I want my party cake.

I was 17. I figured I would try it for about 6 months.

I was born at a very early age.

I was sitting on the remote so we lost Danny. That's ok.

I wear a pantsuit and a cape.

I will eat your liver with some fava beans and a fine chianti.

I will.

I wish I had a dollar for every time I've been asked, "why is late night

I wish I had a dollar for every time people have told me that.

I wore... the two little teeth next to your front teeth were shorter

I work at.

I would I

I would say bing Crosby.

I, zorak!

I, zorak.

I... I'll take on the job if you really think I could

I... really?

I...Have to potty.

I'd be violently sucked into space

I'd have to get my book out and look up the words.

I'd rather not talk about it.

I'd say, dian, tell me about the fair!

I'd...

I'll fight without you.

I'll scan the space frequency modulator with my remote control ray

I'm a dues paying member of the screen locusts guild.

I'm a male Barbie.

I'm a mantis.

I'm a superhero, you're not.

I'm an outlaw, I'm a counterculture person, and that's where I like to be,

I'm doing a lot of radio.

I'm energized.

I'm getting it, all right.

I'm glad you're still fightin' crime.

I'm going to be sick.

I'm going to let you enjoy your little self referential

I'm gonna be taking the subway

I'm in awe of any man that wears wristbands like yours.

I'm just a... Lonely...

I'm just not allowed to do it.

I'm looking for Batman, but maybe you can help me, too.

I'm not a small child.

I'm on wor all night, doing the memory Lane show, I'm on a very popular new

I'm ready.

I'm really a transsexual, actually. I'm not a woman at all

I'm sending them to you telepathically, yes.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm space ghost!

I'm still on the air.

I'm talking Shakespeare with gilligan.

I'm terribly sorry.

I'm trying to do withyou ,space ghost.

I'm trying to mend his evil ways.

I'm waiting.

I've become... I've become everybody's dreams.

I've been calling you a locust all this time.

I've been doing, let me just say, I have been on

I've got about 80 bucks and a lunch box.

I've got Johnny Carson standing by on star feed...14.

I've got my oxygen pen... yeah, whatever.

Iam the man.

If he is an evil locust, then he's only evil every 7 years, so just enjoy

If you are watching this on other planets, I want you to know that...

If you read romance novels... and who doesn't... the face of my first guest

If you want to control my mind, your eyes need to spin counterclockwise.

Ihola!

Ihola!I am space ghost.

Ihola!I am space ghost.

Ihola!I am space ghost.

Important?"

In 5 minutes, I'll pull the freeze lever, and moltar becomes glacierized...

In a way, you're like Ricky Ricardo, except without all that other stuff.

In Arizona. It's very cool.

In Arizona. It's very cool.

In between the 7 years.

In front of you.

In just minutes, your little sea monkeys will flourish with life.

In late seventies films.

In more ways than one.

In my new book.

In the back with his new sea monkey kit.

In the flesh... if I had flesh.

Innocent lives from impending doom.

Insightful observations about your behavior.

Inviso in... Inviso out.

Inviso in... Inviso out.

Inviso in... There! Seems ok now.

Is catwoman a fraidy cat?

Is he gone?

Is it fun? Do you enjoy working with Jay leno? Yes, yes.

Is not unknown to you.

Is that a swell sniglet or what, rich?

Is that in Florida?

Is that your new book?

Is that your new book?

Is that your only superpower?

Is the tricks I'm using now and so far they're legal, space ghost.

Is there anything you admire about me?

Is this how you treat your guests?

Is this something I'll be forced to stop in the near future?

Is this... space ghost.

Is way too important to be the sidekick.

Isn't that right, Mr. mantis?

It appears we will be right back.

It depends on the food.

It feels like Wednesday every day.

It gives me power over space ghost's mind.

It makes a lot of money for anyone who owns it.

It means you're an idiot.

It might mean dynamite.

It sounds like you have many friends.

It was a band of 2 people, a drummer... Baby.

It was always meant for rebellious kids.

It was crazy!

It was subliminal.

It was... Tina Louise's contract was signed before ours,

It would be thrilling

It, uh, means extreme or great.

It'll only hurt once.

It's 128 pages of, uh... Of all the major dysfunctions

It's a cover album of songs that were recorded in um... Generally around

It's a nice chocolate vanilla.

It's a pleasure to be on the show.

It's a small spell.

It's a spell from my new book, the joy of incantations.

It's a very dramatic departure from what I usually do.

It's a... it's a very, uh... A profit making weapon.

It's a... it's, uh, the part of the show where the host sets you free.

It's about as much me as you can get when I'm up on the stage.

It's about gilligan and all the funny things that happened

It's Ashley judd, space ghost.

It's been a thrill having you on.

It's going pretty good, sir.

It's got a beat

It's got pumice.

It's Ken, the satellite guy.

It's kind of painful, and it kind of feels good at the same time.

It's my wig.

It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

It's not like I'm coming on to you or anything, you know?

It's not that noticeable.

It's pathetic how they treat talent in Hollywood.

It's snappy.

It's that partridge kid.

It's the blasted bee gees!

It's very possible.

It's zorak and moltar!

It's, uh, concerns my time on the island.

Ithought she was incredibly informative and had many

Jeepers, my talk show.

Joe Franklin.

Joe, who was your favorite guest ever?

John tesh.

Johnny? Johnny?

Join us for dinner after the show?

Joining me on this show, rap artist schooly d and funnyman

Joining me tonight, author bill Carter, originator of

Joining me tonight, comedian bobcat goldthwait and rock 'n roll citizens

Joining us on this program will be motivational

Judy Collins?

Judy, are friends just enemies who don't have the guts to kill you?

Judy, tell me.

Judy, what sort of superpowers do you possess?

Julie newmar is catwoman.

Julie was our first catwoman, and then I came in and did the movie.

Julie's better.

Jumping jujubes!

Just a few Miles to the studio

Just kidding. Ha!

Just like a jittering woodchuck.

Just like to another guy to a guy.

Just listen.

Just make that your last, moltar.

Just send $94 to the address on your screen.

Just tell women what they want to hear.

Kevin, I have many super powers and a colossal bulk that

Kevin, I wear a pantsuit and a cape.

Kick it.

Kid thinks Barney's for real.

King of the sea monkeys.

Last chance for a kiss... That's enough!

Lava.

Leave us with words to live by.

Leave us with words to live by.

Lee meriwether

Lee meriwether?!

Let me ask you one thing.

Let me fill you in.

Let's get out of here.

Let's get started.

Let's go get some tacos

Let's have a bake sale.

Let's see, that's 12 times... About $93!

Lethal confessions , Swayze's brother.

Letterman, leno, and the network battle for the night.

Lie?

Lights, pony rides, cotton candy, lobster boy.

Like angels!

Like I said, posse.

Like if you saw me in real life?

Like jan and jace?

Listen up, you parasite... I've joined forces with batmantis, and we'll

Listen, I'd like to ask you a question.

Listen, if I use... yes, all the answers... all the answers are here

Listen. Are you ever going to play Vegas?

Listen. That's a guitar

Locusts are known to swarm about and leave their shells stuck to trees

Locusts have hollow bones.

Lokar is the locust.

Look at me. I'm on tv.

Look into my eyes!

Look into my eyes.

Look into the eyes of justice, your mother.

Look, lady, I called you in to help zorak!

Look, your mother's taken moltar.

Look! Shoot a ray, and you get a word.

Look. Look!

Looks like... looks sort of bony.

Loser.

Louder, please.

Lousy screw.

Lunch room lady?

Magenta.

Make something up for me.

Make up a sniglet for zorak.

Make with the scatting.

Man, that's a big shrimp.

Mantis don't lie!

Mantis.

Mary Ann's been writing a cookbook, A gilligan's island cookbook.

Maybe I should take a look.

Maybe you and I could go to Vegas, visit the Elvis chapel.

Maynard g. Krebs, on a series called dobie gillie, and then

Me in courtship.

Me in gilligan.

Me, too.

Me, too.

Me? Honest?

Me? I'm fine!

Meantime, the hideous creatures... This actually isn't too bad.

Meanwhile, at the bandstand, a hideous mutation rears its ugly head...

Meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow.

Meow!

Mike Douglas, Parker Lewis can't lose, tic tac dough,

Mine. Not yours.

Mm hmm

Mm hmm

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm. Pretty, prettyfemale human.

Mm hmm. Pretty, prettyfemale human.

Mmm mmm mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm. Chocolate party cake

Mmm. Classic zorak.

Mmm...Give us a kiss.

Mmmm...No.

Mmmmm... Uh, outsiders like me a lot because, uh, I've given the man fits

Moltar and I were worried sick.

Moltar, call the police!

Moltar, can you hear me?

Moltar, don't these cameras have those little red thingies on them?

Moltar, don't these cameras have those little red thingies on them?

Moltar, get the feed back!

Moltar, is that really you?

Moltar, is the Professor ready?

Moltar, look, I am green with evil.

Moltar, send the shuttle for zorak.

Moltar, what are you doing?

Moltar, what are you doing?

Moltar, what happened to the feed?

Moltar, what is it?

Moltar, what's she doing?

Moltar, when does this air?

Moltar!

Moltar!

Moltar! Bad director!

Moltar! Damage report!

Moltar! Damage report!

Moltar! Not in the control room!

Moltar!!!

Moltar?

Moltar?

Moltar...Mmm... Uh...Huh?

Moltar's been kidnapped, and I must save him.

Moltar's been kidnapped!

Moltar's been stolen.

Mom?

Moment of mirth there, space ghost.

Mr. belvedere, the X Men, the x files,

Mrrrrr..

Must think of a plan.

My first guest chronicled the first known battle for the night

My first guest is a comedian.

My first guest is Dr. Joyce brothers.

My first guest is gilligan himself.

My first guest is on a mission to stop the insanity.

My first guest is schooly d.

My first guest, unlike zorak, is a talented musician.

My first guest...

My guests tonight are recording artist and tonight show bandleader

My mantis is dashing in a tux.

My new book is now in its third printing, 'cause the first 2 printings

My next castaway played Mary Ann.

My next guest has recently retired from the late night battle.

My next guest is "weird al" yankovic.

My next guest is from Los Angeles.

My next guest is recently retired... space ghost, bill is still here.

My next guests are zorak's favorite band.

My next guests use the phone all the time

My nose is stopped up.

My nose is stopped up.

My powers are beyond your comprehension.

My room was alwaysclean

My secret identity?

My secret identity?

My, how you've grown.

My, that's frightening.

My, they look lovely.

Need a coin for the bus, bill?

Need to get situated here.

Never before has such evil, villainous scum

Nnnnnnn no.

No

No

No

No conspiracy there.

No funny anecdotes?

No gum? Sheesh.

No kidding

No kidding.

No kidding.

No matter how hard it seems, you got to keep going

No more slip ups.

No one's a match for you, you harlot!

No superpowers.

No talent and no personality will get you a talk show.

No use speeding now.

No, bobcat, that's just his way of telling us to finish the interview.

No, but I can help them understand their minds, and that's what

No, he's not.

No, I don't.

No, I just feel like I know my place on the planet, and it's very tiny...

No, I mean something that we can use

No, I think not.

No, I... Don't do sniglets anymore.

No, I'm not!

No, Idon'tknow.

No, really.

No, space ghost, you're great.

No, that's it

No, you didn't!

No, you the man.

No, you're the man.

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No! Take that back, take that back.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. Because I have met other child star victims, and I've

No. He's just a grasshopper.

No. I am the lone locust of the apocalypse.

No. I escaped the bush narrowly. Narrowly escaped the bush.

No. I mean, overwhelming.

No. I'm afraid I can't... sing it.

No. I'm just a little crazy, obsessed with fighting crime, but I have

No. Lamas was in final possessions

No. No, I can't sing it. Sorry.

No. Not my mom.

No. Oh h h h h.

No. Ok, thanks.

No. Punch!

No. To find moltar.

No. You're a prince.

No... I don't think there was anything really juicy that went on.

No... Ok. Why won't women talk to me?

No... punch.

Not a lot of that, no.

Not even for money

Not me! You think Ihave the problem?

Not particularly.

Not so good.

Nothin'.

Now hear them sing your favorite nursery rhymes and lullabies.

Now I'm punchy.

Now is this physically or mentally?

Now what?

Now what?

Now you've created an adorable home for your sea monkeys.

Now, if you put that on television, you're gonna get ratings

Now, there are some days when it seems like nothing goes right.

Now, Tim, people depend on me to defend their planets and save millions of

Now, Timothy. Tell me.

Number one, main ingredient, as I've said before, is sincerity.

Of course you haven't.

Of course you would.

Oh, brother.

Oh, come on. Don't do that, man. And some fuzzy bread

Oh, dear.

Oh, flood your eyeballs, overload your earballs, I'll give you patterns

Oh, get it.

Oh, God.

Oh, hello.

Oh, how I hate you.

Oh, I see. Ok.

Oh, I would be a lot more comfy if I could sit on you, space ghost.

Oh, I'll tell him you said that, and I'll tell his wife, too.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, it's you

Oh, look. It's from zorak.

Oh, man!

Oh, moltar!

Oh, my God!

Oh, no kidding

Oh, no.

Oh, no. Here she comes.

Oh, oh. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, oh. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, once a bug, always a bug.

Oh, please, space ghost.

Oh, really?

Oh, really?

Oh, sorry. Were you nothing.

Oh, space ghost, uh... Would you like to wear thecape, rich?

Oh, space ghost.

Oh, thank God!

Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Can I give you a kiss?

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes. I remember one time with the late Vincent price,

Oh, yes. Of course

Oh! So now I'm aschizo?

Oh! Who is your arch enemy?

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Moltar's sick.

Oh. Um, sorry.

Oh. Well, you know, I guess... and that to be

Oh...

Oh...

Oh... Sing the to be or not to be song!

Ohh, please!

Ohhhhh.... * If I could turn back time.

Ok

Ok, I'll do a song for now.

Ok, let's go

Ok, now

Ok, that's a rap.

Ok, that's it.

Ok!

Ok! Don't go away

Ok! We're back with bobcat goldthwait

Ok.

Ok.

Ok.

Ok.

Ok.

Ok.

Ok. Everyone remain calm.

Ok. Everyone remain calm.

Ok. Ha ha ha!

Ok. Ha ha!

Ok. Thanks.

Ok. We're back with branford the branford

Ok. We're back...

Ok. Why won't women talk to me?

Okey dokey.

On a desert island?

On book covers, you're always transforming yourself into various guises.

On earth I am the leader.

On gilligan's island, did you think the writers had gone far enough

On oplanet...

On that promissory note.

On the third day, a dark cloud approached from the west.

On the way to Panama city.

On them, but they're very expensive and they're very thin and they're

On this show, I've gathered a panel of therapists to help zorak.

On this show, we've got a pair of people with yellow hair

On to get the girl.

Once... In dothan, Alabama

Ooh

Ooh! Man, I feel better already! Whoo!

Ooh.

Ooh.

Oops. Sorry, Mr. landis

Open the pouch labeled sea monkey pellets and pour it into the bowl.

Or it might mean something pretty, like dandelion.

Or not to be song.

Or was thatlethal passions?

Or you surrender your power bands.

Order now!

Original gangster is in the... House.

Ouch!

Ouch!

Ouch.

Oui.

Out there on the front lines with my friends.

Over here!

Overwhelming, isn't it?

Ow! You could have taken my hand off.

Package for space ghost.

Page 2:Baywatch, the $5

Page two.

Particularly when I see a man, you know, I want to sort of

Paul Harvey!

Paul Harvey.

Paul Harvey.

Paunch?

Pbbbbbt!

People are afraid to leave their homes.

Perhaps I need to loosen my pants

Perhaps she saw your face and decided to split, space ghost.

Perhaps, perhaps.

Pi are square.

Playing with fire can really be harmful to you, to me, to your studio,

Please say hello to the band, zorak and the original way outs.

Please say hello to the band, zorak and the... zorak!

Please welcome bill Carter.

Please welcome branford marsalis.

Please welcome Cindy guyer.

Please welcome citizen Dr. Timothy leary.

Please welcome dawn Wells.

Please welcome dian Parkinson!

Please welcome Joe Franklin.

Please welcome stand up comedienne, Judy tenuta.

Please welcome Susan powter.

Please welcome the ramones

Pleasure.

Posse.

Possibly negotiations... well, I am... uh... with universal to

Prepare your hiney for another blast from the spank ray.

Pretty good ad lib, huh?

Psychedelic utopians.

Pu... yeah, right.

Punch, punch

Punch?

Punch. Now that's a silly word.

Punch. Punch. Punch!

Punch. You know, if you say that enough times, it loses all its meaning.

Purr like a cat.

Py pyromaniacs?

Quick! What is pi?

Quit workin' it.

Ready or not, here we come.

Really, let's, uh... Let's... let's draw the line there.

Really?

Really?

Rebellious?

Recorded such a masterpiece one the whole family can enjoy.

Refried beans, flan, sopapillas, cheese dip,

Remember, this is a professional talk show.

Rich, tell us about your superpowers

Rich!

Rich?

Rich.

Right you are, my little green friend

Right, right.

Right.

Right.

Right. Uh, talent, personality, and a quarter will get you a cup of coffee.

Roll that clip, moltar.

Roll the clip.

Rose Marie.

Russell Johnson.

Russell rhymes with muscle.

Say "ahh."

Say hello to my band, zorak and the original way outs.

Say it with me.

Say something stupid.

Say, bill. How do you like my show so far?

Say, Danny the Danny... Yes, sir, space ghost?

Say, do you need any weapons?

Say, fellas, tell us about your new record.

Say, guys, on your third album, rocket fu... Whoops.

Say, I was thinking of coming out with my own diet plan.

Say, Kevin, what would your mother think of you being on my show?

Say, now that's Italian!

Say, where'd you get the ball cap, son?

Say! Bobcat is a good name.

Say! Youarea mantis!

Sayit!

Sayit!

Sayit!

Schooly, you're the man.

Schooly.

Schooly. Schooly.

Sea witch

Sea witch, sea witch.

Sea witch,see?

Sea witch.

See what witch?

See what?

See which sea?

See, I've got it memorized.

See?

Sexy kind of guy.

She doesn't have a wheel.

She said specimen.

She's breaking up.

She's eating pasta salad.

Shh! He's right upstairs.

Shirley Jones, David cassidythat's where all the money went.

Shoot a proper noun.

Shoot an adjective.

Shoot the theory of evolution.

Should we shake his hand?

Shut up, moltar!

Shut up, space ghost.

Shut up!

Shut up!

Shut up.

Shut up.

Shut up. I'm reading my new book.

Signed, your mother."

Simpleton

Sing something delightful, you know, with flowers and stuff.

Sing us a song, Russell.

Slither into his arms.

Smells like chicken in here.

So don't worry.

So far so good.

So hideous that it must be censored.

So how's ed and doc?

So I feel as though I'm slithering.

So if you've been asked that, say, 12 times, then you would have, uh..

So th is what you're up to.

So what about the Bob barker affair?

So what do you think of my tight pants?

So when were you born?

So when you were added to the opening song, how did you feel?

So you really were on that island.

So your whole life is a lie.

So, branford, do you have musical knowledge to share with zorak?

So, branford...

So, Danny boy... What superpower helped you battle the child star syndrome?

So, do you enjoy being the tonight show bandleader?

So, do you have any super powers that you use to stop the insanity?

So, how goes the tonight show?

So, uh, anyone watch Seinfeld last night?

So, what about these ink stains you were blathering about?

So, what does Jay leno do to help defend the universe?

So, what does the "d" stand for, Mr. Rapper?

So, what evil crime have you committed against Jay leno

So, what have you been up to lately?

So, what is he like, then?

So, what'd you think of schooly?

So, what's new, Dr. brothers?

So, you mean you don't have any.

Soap.

Some ginger snaps and a few of those.

Some lady.

Some milk I left out in the sun for a week...

Some people think they are round, but they are square.

Somebody else's mom.

Someone's sick and deranged mom.

Something crawling on the table.

Sometimes, I get possessed.

Soon you'll be able to observe your sea monkeys as they make families,

Sorry

Sorry about that.

Sorry, man. Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Space ghost

Space ghost interviewing Kevin!

Space ghost is tending his brine shrimp.

Space ghost, I oughta smack your teeth out over there

Space ghost, I wanna party with you.

Space ghost, I've got a question for you.

Space ghost, shut your big mouth.

Space ghost, we're back.

Space ghost, you idiot!

Space ghost, you must remember one thing.

Space ghost!

Space ghost!

Space ghost!

Space ghost! The goddess does not take orders!

Space ghost! Then it would not be a secret

Space ghost?

Space ghost?

Space ghost.

Space ghost. Can I ask you something?

Space ghost... You have an incoming transmission.

Speaker and talk show host, Susan powter, and comedian Kevin meaney.

Speaking of heroes, who are yours?

Speaking of legends, it's my great honor to say he e e ere's Johnny!

Speaking of power, Johnny Carson's here tonight.

Standby, space ghost.

Starting over.

Station called wbbr... We have to do a commercial, Joe

Stop! Don't!

Stop! Sorry.

Stupid? Who was waiting for you clowns when you got off the elevator?

Super powers. Got any?

Sure is.

Sure it wasn't. This is all a conspiracy.

Sure, if you want to blow my cover, tad.

Sure, you could.

Sure.

Sure. Um, hey, zorak... You evil locust.

Surrender your power bands to me at once.

Surrender your power bands, space ghost.

Susan, welcome to the show.

Susan, you have some food in your teeth.

T minus 10 seconds and counting.

Take it, moltar!

Take it, space ghost.

Talk show host.

Tell me about the fair.

Tell me where moltar is.

Tell me your secret identity.

Tell us about it.

Tell us about your book.

Tell us about your book.

Tell us all about your troubled childhood.

Tell us some behind the scenes stuff.

Tell us what's in your pocket.

Tell us, Joe... did you have a band?

Tell us, what's your secret identity?

Tell us, who are you really?

Than my teeth are.

Thank me.

Thank you for having me here.

Thank you very much, Mr. ghost.

Thank you, Joe, for what is, without a doubt, our best interview yet.

Thank you, space ghost.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. I can't tell you what an intense thrill it is to be on your show.

Thanks for being on the show, Susan, and good luck stopping the insanity

Thanks for being with us, bill.

Thanks for joining us.

Thanks, I hope that was what you wanted.

Thanks, Johnny!

Thanks, man.

Thanks, Tim. Come see us again, won't you?

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks. I'd love to join you for dinner, but I don't know about

That although it may seem like the ghost planet

That is a feat.

That makes me nervous.

That ruckus.

That show made truckloads of cash!

That sounds like fun.

That was odd.

That was specifically, definitely for bobcat and me.

That was the instrumental part.

That wears leisure suits.

That wig!

That'il take about 3 weeks worth of work, earth time.

That's "bloopers", space fool.

That's a lie!

That's a lot of dough.

That's a sick joke, moltar, even for you

That's all right.

That's an issue right now, and I feel strongly about it.

That's an odd conversation.

That's as far as I can go.

That's because I've been lifting heavy objects.

That's better.

That's better.

That's castaways, you s... you... whatever.

That's enough to get you on this show.

That's enough, zorak.

That's good, zorak.

That's his strength.

That's interesting.

That's it, boy.

That's it?

That's more like it.

That's my party cake!

That's nice.

That's not a sniglet, hall.

That's not true!

That's not what women want to hear.

That's preposterous!

That's regurgitational ingestion. Flies do it, not locusts.

That's right! Only $94!

That's right.

That's sad.

That's terrific. Mazel tov!

That's wild!

The "d" stands for something different every day.

The $100 pyramid... Welcome her!

The 1967/68 period of time.

The beginning of the eighties.

The citizens, blissfully unaware of the molten danger, sleep on their

The composer?

The fact that the show wasn't real.

The female human is mine!

The good people of earth call them "blooters".

The Harlem globetrotters on gilligan's island.

The highway patrol.

The hot lava burns a deadly path towards the inhabited city below

The idea is that people validate one another... psychobabble.

The late shift.

The main function is to get the plug out of the way first.

The man from snowy river.

The panhandle?

The power of using light to enhance consciousness and to alter consciousness

The practical plan for liking yourself better,

The ramones.

The real identity is me.

The speedy with beans, hot tamales... Well, that's what we eat, too.

The talk show, Joe Franklin, and talk show legend Johnny Carson.

Then the writers have to, basically, write you out of the script.

Then we'll have to scramble around and try to make this seem funny.

There are 3 of them!

There are some Tina Louise recipes, however.

There is something on your cape.

There you have it.

There's a cute little story about my teeth.

There's a lot of strange mixes on there speaking of strange mixes,

There's no one else here.

These are baggy jeans.

These look like fig new..

They are evil, green, and occasionally played the heavy

They carry diseases like a fly.

They cringe behind locked doors, trembling with fear,

They make me go.

They say you called them to be on the show

They want to hear that you drum for pearl jam.

They're hot.

They're not really ramones.

Think of me when you look to the night sky.

Think of me when you... when I look to the night sky.

Thinking that, so... space ghost.

This concerns me.

This guy needs a good punch in the mouth, if you ask me.

This is a good, clean show.

This is crazy.

This is going as well as the letterman/madonna interview.

This is the bee gees.

This the rehearsal, or are we taping?

This wasn't my best interview, was it?

Thisisn'ta game show, Mr. hall.

Those masks are frightening.

Those years as a partridge?

Time enough for a kiss... And... Your mask makes it really very difficult

Time to get space ghost.

Time's up, space ghost.

Tina again, causing problems.

To become his bandleader?

To charge me for this, are you?

To everything that you hold dear.

To find Batman, restricted.

To get butter and cheese?

To get these guys on the show, so tonight, we have 3 getaways

To keep with that tradition, I have a few rare clips that moltar has found

Too bad.

Too many cokes.

Trouble from you.

Turn on his mic.

Tv legend.

Tv legend.

Ugh!

Uh huh

Uh huh.

Uh huh.

Uh huh...

Uh huh...

Uh oh.

Uh uh.

Uh, I can't do that.

Uh, I got it from the planet zurf.

Uh, I have none

Uh, I must go to the store to get butter and cheese

Uh, I think probably Jay gives a better monologue.

Uh, I use the power of invisibility

Uh, I'm just a victim.

Uh, just a minute, schooly.

Uh, Richard Nixon called me... I'm proud of this, space ghost..

Uh, so, what do you think of me, human?

Uh, space ghost... * Ah ha ha pzzzt pzzzt * dazit amumba bumba space ghost!

Uh, we're a bunch of punks.

Uh, well, um, heh... Sayit!

Uh, where's dothan?

Uh, where's the funny part come in?

Uh, yeah.

Uh, yeah. Yeah.

Uh...

Uh... because no one can stop it, the show is back.

Uh... ha ha ha ha.

Uh... hi, space ghost.

Uh... hmm.

Uh... I'm trying to kind of put the "fun" back into dysfunction.

Uh... Joey Lawrence.

Uh... what party cake?

Uh... yeah, like if he saw you in real life.

Uh...Eh... Do you have any super powers?

Uh...it's an adjective.

Uh...Right, right.

Uh...Wha... Ok!

Uhhhhh...

Uhhhhh... Danny, what was your favorite thing about the seventies?

Um, er, uh, you...Are...A human.

Um, I have a movie coming out called mortal obsession.

Um, I think you're masculine but sensitive... you do not know me, human.

Um, let's see, uh wait for it.

Um, we didn't believe we were really on an island, you know, so...

Um, well, I may as well tell you here, sitting here with you, space ghost.

Um, well, let's see.

Um, would know better than anyone else.

Um...

Um... I do it with my mind.

Um... Tad ghostal.

Um... yes, I think you're a pretty man.

Unfortunately, that hasn't translated quite as well to television.

Up and down and up and down over and over again really fast gaining speed until it's just a blur of vibrating guns and lips?

Up there with you, space ghost.

Use your imagination.

Very fragile, and lots of times if you leave them in, you make a mistake

Very funny, spa I'm serious, partridge.

Wait!

Wait. There's one.

Walking around the universe with tight pants on, it's not right!

Warm seat.

Was I..

Was it a repeat?

Wasn't he an android?

Watch as I pull the freeze lever.

We all make mistakes

We don't have a shuttle.

We have a clip from that, but we're not going to show it.

We lost branford.

We now join space ghost coast to coast, already in progress.

We now return to... Whatever.

We shall return with a vengeance.

We shall return... With a vengeance.

We turned on the tv this afternoon, and guess who we saw.

We were in the cliffhanger on the show, and, uh, we were supposed to

We weren't ostracized and kept from that at the beginning.

We'll be back after a word from our sponsors.

We'll be right back after our sponsor shoves some more stuff

We'll be right back after this.

We're all eating chemicals.

We're back with bobcat goldthwait.

We're back.

We're certainly glad to have you back on the show.

We're hungry. Would you like to run out and get us some tacos?

We're mean all the time!

We're out of here.

We're out of time.

We're way out of time.

Welcome Bob Denver.

Welcome him.

Welcome the jerky boys.

Welcome to my show, citizen tenuta.

Welcome to my show.

Welcome to the show, "weird al."

Welcome to the show, Dr. Brothers!

Welcome to the show, Dr. leary

Welcome to the show.

Welcome to the show.

Welcome to the show.

Welcome, citizen bill.

Welcome, dawn.

Welcome, Kevin.

Well, aren't you sweet?

Well, doc gave me some really good advice right before the show started.

Well, eartha, for my money, was the best catwoman.

Well, for the sake of accuracy, over 300,000.

Well, good luck saving the planets, and please help us here

Well, I can eat my own weight in ding dongs

Well, I can speak French reallyloud!

Well, I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

Well, I don't know about that

Well, I don't know.

Well, I don't think you have to worry or fear because, um, we have two great

Well, I drum for a band.

Well, I had a band once.

Well, I just wrote a book.

Well, I just wrote a book.

Well, I may look small, but I'm pretty wiry

Well, I think it's up to, you know, your taste there,

Well, I think moltar's giving us the signal to wrap it up, huh, space ghost?

Well, I won't have to fight your mother alone.

Well, I'm kind of like a witch, like a fairy tale witch, in a way.

Well, I'm not sosure you're ok, but the idea... of coursi'm ok.

Well, I'm not very fond of the title.

Well, it should have been.

Well, it's a book about one character I played,

Well, it's going to cost you, bro.

Well, let me tell you something, mister tight pants wearing space ghost!

Well, no, not really.

Well, not more frightening than our face.

Well, not the kind of knowledge you're referring to, but ha ha ha ha!

Well, space ghost, I have an incredible head of hair.

Well, space ghost, you have to become a little more comfortable

Well, take it off.

Well, thanks a lot, Mr. mantis.

Well, that is a... Great possibility.

Well, the first thing that you need to do is go all out and lie

Well, the prop guys had brought probably, uh...

Well, then give me a rap name.

Well, then, could you whip us up some?

Well, there was a point in time when there was some question about

Well, uh...

Well, um... Actually, it would... I would send you a double bill,

Well, who is it?

Well, you know, even if I was, I couldn't...

Well, you project all your emotions onto that inkblot... zorak:

Well...Can we break your legs?

Well...Don't.

Were blurred.

What advice can you give me?

What are you all looking at?

What are you, a child?

What are you, too important to sing it now?

What did you get?

What did you want to become when you were a kid?

What do you eat, anyway?

What do you feel people expect from you?

What do you have that will impress us?

What do you mean you can't hear?

What do you mean?

What do you say?

What do you say?

What do you think about that?

What do your archenemies look like, Susan?

What does it mean?

What does that do for you, space ghost?

What have I unleashed?!

What have you done with moltar, you harlot?

What if president Kennedy finds out about this?

What is wrong with you?

What is your secret identity?

What isthat?

What kind of thing is that to ask adults?

What kind of women do you like, space ghost?

What now?

What other funny stories can you tell me before we go on the air?

What planet are you on?

What ruckus?

What scares you?

What sort of superpowers do you possess?

What type of weapon is that and why is it so desirable?

What wig?

What will happen next?

What witch where?

What you looking at, man?

What, zorak?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? How can this be?

What? Oh,Isee.

What's a monologue?

What's in these lady fingers, moltar?

What's it do?

What's overwhelming?

What's so funny?

What's the locust's name again? I'm sorry.

What's Tina's problem?

What's up, man?

What's wrong with you?

What's your favorite recipe?

What's your secret identity?

What'sthat supposed to mean?

Whatabouthim?

Whatever.

Whatever.

Whee!

When do you wish for a dollar?

When I said you were pretty, I... meant you remind me of Judy Collins.

When I was a kid, I really only wanted 2 things. I wanted to be a policeman.

When I was a larvae, I wanted to be the all powerful ruler of the universe!

When I was born, something horrible happened.

When I was shooting, you know, both shows.

When is this gonna air?

When we last left him, batmantis was having a heart to heart

When you did the Harlem globetrotters

When you order this collector's item and play it really loud!

Where am I?

Where did you guys get my party cake?

Where'd everybody go?

Where's the ghost?

Where's the... where's the feed?

Wherever I find it, I fight crime, and there is a crime here today, I see.

Whew! Boy.

Whip it good!

Whip it!

Who are you?

Who gave them my party cake?

Who played egghead... Yeah.

Who this woman?

Who was that?

Who?

Who's the lady?

Whoa oh.

Whoa! Ow!

Whoo hoo!

Whoops, wrong floor.

Why are you so stupid?

Why couldn't I be scraping him off my windshield?

Why do fresh daffodils always make me cry?

Why do we always hurt the ones we love?

Why don't you answer my questions?

Why don't you come on down and help us here because we're dying!

Why don't you mind your questions?

Why wasn't I included in your book?

Why, banjo? Why?!

Why, I never called zorak!

Whyare you here?

Will Adam west come to his aid, or will he wimp out?

Will do, citizen.

Will every word batmantis says be followed by that suspenseful sting music?

Will space ghost surrender his power bands and save moltar from your mother?

Will you beam me a copy right now?

Will you please pass me one of those wall decorations?

Will you work with me, Lee?

With a cockney accent.

With a little grit and a lot of sheer will... became a sea monkey.

With gilligan's island.

With Lee meriwether and space ghost was being bullied by your mother.

With Lee meriwether batmantis was having a heart to heart

With some of the biggest talk show hosts in the world... What?

With the idea?

With your sexuality and a little more confident in it.

Wondering who the deadly bush will strike next!

Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Hee hee!

Woo.

Woo.

Wooo, all right.

Would I lie to you, sugar?

Would you care to join us for dinner after the show?

Would you kiss one?

Would you use this superpower to help other child star victims?

Wouldn't really work on the babes too much in a bar.

Wow!

Wow!

Wow.

Wreck! Wreck!

Wrong! Next question.

Yeah

Yeah, female intuition, the most powerful thing in the universe.

Yeah, girl, you know it's true.

Yeah, he was a... he was a very powerful superhero himself.

Yeah, he's hype. He's dope.

Yeah, I think so.

Yeah, I'm here.

Yeah, ok.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, well, you know... Deadfly.

Yeah, whatever

Yeah, whatever.

Yeah, why you here?

Yeah, why you here?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah! I can bake chili and everything.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. But you know, that's exactly how I eat, so... Perhaps I will

Yeah. Heh heh heh.

Yeah. Heh heh heh.

Yeah. I don't even think I'd be that interested in any form or fashion.

Yeah. I feel very feline all the time.

Yeah. It's a really nice album.

Yeah. Of course I got super powers because I'm schooly d.

Yeah. That gives you a lot of power.

Yeah. That, too.

Yeah. Times are a little hard, I guess.

Yeah. Times are a little hard, I guess.

Yeah. We're going to take over the world, so you're going to

Yeah. What size power band are you?

Yeah. You know, I'm actually one of the only super heroes

Yeah...

Yes, a long, long time ago.

Yes, hello.

Yes, I am.

Yes, I am.

Yes, I am.

Yes, I certainly will.

Yes, if you'll take me to lunch somewhere in the universe

Yes, just imagine.

Yes, uh, you know, have you ever seen an inkblot?

Yes, you are!

Yes, you are.

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes! It's moving.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. All the answers.

Yes. Don't you pay attention?

Yes. Friends are just enemies who don't have the guts to kill you.

Yes. From Hamlet.

Yes. Hello. Hello.

Yes. I'm able to, uh, bend forks.

Yes. The golden girls.

Yes. They help me do my job.

You are a femalehuman.

You are a specimen!

You are apretty female human.

You are mighty small, little banjo, and your flippers are tired.

You are not catwoman.

You are not!

You be quiet!

You buy them 3 sizes bigger so they can hang off your butt.

You can always cover your tracks later.

You come near me, I'll take a big eraser out and you'll be history.

You didn't leave any larvae on my chair, did you?

You do that.

You don't even know us

You don't have any powers.

You don't look very strong.

You don't say.

You don't think he wants my show, do you?

You got a cookbook like Mary Ann?

You hadn't gotten your show yet.

You have a new album. Tell us about it. Yeah. Give us some gum

You have another guest.

You just keep it up, zorak.

You just saw zorak when he was guest starring on gilligan's island

You know I won

You know I won 2 grammys.

You know what I had for breakfast this morning?

You know, Barbara Streisand was my singer.

You know, bill, I could lift the empire state building if I wanted.

You know, great.

You know, I don't remember letterman or leno as superheroes,

You know, I sort of after this, Leno sucks.

You know, I'm just giving you a compliment.

You know, like my big, fat roommate, blow sanne.

You know, Mexican

You know, Mr. space ghost.

You know, that reminds me of a story, a story about a little pellet, who...

You know, this guy is real funny.

You know, uh... curly.

You know, we really are trained in every..

You know, when they cling to the side of a tree and their jaws move

You know, zorak is a locust.

You look pretty good.

You look very stylish in your cape, by the way.

You may have seen her on such shows as merv Griffin,

You mean rowwwr

You mean with a party cake and lemonade and paper hats?

You mean, like when your enemy is shaving your back...

You mock me?

You must be in awe of my extraordinary powers

You must be in awe of my super colossal strength.

You must be lookin' at me.

You must have talked to a lot of people

You name it, I've been it.

You need a... a lobotomy.

You need me in your posy.

You need to, uh... You... you need to watch some more tv.

You really sang that, didn't you?

You should be my furniture.

You should do that before the show.

You should try spandex.

You started all of this

You sure?

You think I'mcrazy, don't you?

You think that could work?

You want to plug something, don't you, Joe?

You want to watch me swallow a live mollusk?

You were born in Australia

You were drooling

You were not.

You were on that island for 15 years.

You were?

You wimp.

You, sir, have nothing.

You.

You... were.

You'll be the envy of all your friends

You'll never get my power bands. Savvy?

You're a locust!

You're all alike, you catwomen... tease, tease, tease.

You're being silly now, space ghost.

You're like a crazy person.

You're looking at me like I went crazy.

You're lying!

You're not Johnny Carson, are you?

You're not my mom.

You're so important over there with that keyboard and everything

You're talking to me?

You're up in two minutes.

You're up, rich.

You're welcome

You're welcome to join us at the taco bonito.

You've been canceled.

You've got a dumb head.

You've seen our next guest on the price is right.

You've seen them outwit space ghost in horrendous space battles.

You've seen them outwit space ghost... Aah! Change it!

You've written millions of books, and you were television's first

Youget paid forthis?

Your feeble words do not amuse me.

Your hat.

Your hat's on backwards.

Your lollygagging kills your friend.

Your motivation, for all we know, may not be as open as your publicity

Yourloss.

Yourmother.

Yup. A little bit of salt would be good.

Yyyup.

Zorak eats anything, young, old, and then some.

Zorak is all geeked up about the ramones being here.

Zorak was in that one, remember?

Zorak was just on earth.

Zorak, are you sure you know where this restaurant is?

Zorak, did you give them my party cake?

Zorak, however, has become batmantis, and he's more apt to help me.

Zorak, I'll blister your butt so bad... Space ghost.

Zorak, just remember who has the orkin man on their speed dial.

Zorak, never eat anything larger than your head.

Zorak, play me something public domain.

Zorak, that was less than satisfactory.

Zorak, that's not one of their episodes!

Zorak, the other night I saw the most beautiful sunset.

Zorak, what's that thing on your head?

Zorak, what's wrong with your eyes?

Zorak, you get down from that ceiling and play me to the desk

Zorak!

Zorak!

Zorak!

Zorak?

Zorak? Zorak?

Zorak... on the wand

Zorak's been bugging me... bugging me. Get it?

Zorak's real name is Katy did.

Zorak's wacky, ain't he?

10, 9, 7, 6, 9...

16.

17.

43 years in the business?

All righty!

Butterscotch haystacks.

Don't you dare!

Here, banjo.

Here, shrimp.

Hey, space ghost?

I'm sure getting some sissy copy, aren't I?

Lady fingers.

Must stop speaking Latin.

My kindergarten teacher used to greet me that way.

My sea monkeys.

Ok. I'm all alone.

Pathetic earthling.

Ready or not, here we come.

Replicants were the evil creation of Dr. zen.

Space ghost.

Space ghost... Roll 'em.

Then maybe people would tune in.

What?

But one day, you will become...

10 seconds to air. Return to the set.

Adam, see you at the auto show

Ah ha! Ah! Oh ho!

Ah! Your show is lame.

Ahem. Let's see. Where am I?

All right, space ghost. You fruit loop.

All right, that's it. Get out.

All right. Ha ha ha ha ha.

All righty! We'll meet you in the chamber after the show.

All righty! We're back!

All righty. How about your book?

And I get to be the husband. It could happen.

And this is an honor for me. Ok.

And who isn't? Dawn, which episode is your favorite?

And you would answer. That's talking about it.

Anka! I'm the drummer for pearl jam!

Are you getting it? Yeah?

Avoiding the subject? Yes.

Bowl of Cole slaw? Yes

Break 'em! Break 'em!

Break it down, boys. Somebody get a hose.

Bye bye. Say bye bye.

Can you help me here, space ghost? What?

Deer tick. Who knows?

Did I fall asleep, zorak? Yeah.

Do you know the muffin man? Stay tuned to find out.

Enough, you fiend

Enough. Let me entertain you.

Exactly. I'll go myself.

Get down from there! From where?

Get out! I've got your album.

Greetings. I am space ghost.

Ha ha ha! Coming from the two of you.

Ha ha ha! I have enough oxygen, thank you.

Ha! Wow! Space ghost, man.

He's a party animal. He's a nut.

He's a party animal. He's a nut.

He's completely out of control. He's a party in a can.

He's pathetic. Ha ha.

Heh heh heh! Ha ha ha!

Hello, bobcat. Welcome to the show.

Hello, little one. I shall name you banjo.

Help me! Get me out, please!

Hey, bill. Look at zorak

Hey, ho! Let's go.

Hey, ho! Let's go.

Hey, how are you? How are you doing?

Hey, mo, I'm a replicant. Neh, neh, neh, neh!

Hey! Where'd you guys get that cake?!

Hi, dian! Are you comfy?

Hi, I'm tad. I realize that!

Hi, schooly. How are you?

Hi, space ghost. How are you today?

Hi, space ghost. How are you today?

Hi, zorak. How're you doin'?

Hiya, space. How's it going?

I am evil. Therefore, I am lonely.

I beg your pardon? Gimme your money!

I can't do that. Why not?

I do. I'll send you up to batmantis.

I know. Great. And you've got a movie coming up.

I like you, space ghost, and I got a question. What's your real name?

I'm all right. I'm all right.

I'm bobcat. Interview me.

I'm famished. Greetings, Ashley.

I'm livin' a dream. Thanks a lot for having me back on the show.

It was a tv show. You know, we knew that.

It's more like a pop album. Uh huh.

Just leave it on. Ok, pal?

Listen, you have been in some trouble, haven't you, young man? In fact, you're very lucky to even be on my show

Look me up. I'm a mantis.

Look, Joe. We have to run.

Moltar, stop. I am embarrassed.

Moltar. Wait

More tv. You don't say?

My God, woman! That'il kill him!

My little space ghost. How come you're doing this to me?

No time for lunch, Adam. Gimme the book.

No, banjo. Why are you doing this?

No, I don't think so. Oh, I do.

No, not that close. You cannot possess me.

No. Give me the book!

No. Well, they should.

No. Well, they should.

No. You're the mantis. Schooly is the man.

Now, let's see. What's next?

Oh, all right. That's cool.

Oh, boy. I don't know.

Oh, dear. It's a pity.

Oh, I see what you're doing. No, no, no.

Oh, I see. Ha ha ha!

Oh, is that it? Afraid?

Oh, no, I'm sorry. Really, I don't mean to make you uncomfortable

Oh, no. The pleasure is all mine.

Oh, very good

Oh, yeah, with justine Bateman. I liked that one.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Me too

Oh, yeah, yeah. Um, haga!

Oh. Chips.

Oh. Zorak, we'll need help.

Ok, then. Identify yourselves, ramones.

Open, close. Open, close.

Open, close. Open...

Planet? Gooey.

Punch. Punch.

Punch. Punch.

Punch. Punch.

Punch. Punch.

Punch. Punch.

Punch. Punch.

Punch. Punch.

Punch. Punch.

Punch. Punch.

Really? Yeah, well, it shows.

Repent, space ghost. Mourn for the frozen.

Say hi to the band. They're right over there.

Sea monkeys! Sea monkeys!

See... oh! Like your little series!

So the "d" Stands for defenseless.

Sorry, man. Boss's orders.

Space cadet? Ha ha ha!

Space ghost! That was my car!

Space ghost? What?

Stick with space ghost. Much cooler.

Sure. Fine.

Tacos, Ashley. Tacos

Tad ghostal? Really?

Tad. Well?

Tell him now. Tell him.

Thank you. I think you're kinda handsome, too, space ghost.

That don't get it. I'm sorry. No.

That's true! It's not real.

That's zorak. Does he scare you?

The children. Ha ha!

The whole man. John tesh scares me.

Then it's a date. We'll see you after the show.

There you have it. He's not a small child.

They were mine. Oh, hush.

This is a good show. This is a clean show.

to always hear how the band sounded. Indeed.

Uh...They're dead. Put them in the garage.

Um... geez, I don't know. I like all the greats.

Unplug me! Unplug me!

Want a piece of this? Yeah.

Weh weh weh. That's catchy!

Well, good for you

Well, now you see. Now we're off to a bad start.

Well, you're a great host. You're a great interviewer.

Were you saying something, Mr. Ghost?

What? Space ghost?

What? What?

What?! What?

Why didn't you tell me? Sorry.

Why is the sky blue? What is the mystery of the yeti?

With lorenzo lamas! I've seen that one.

Yeah, I saw a yard gnome once. It didn't scare me.

Yeah, that could happen. My hormones are slam dancing.

Yeah. Whatever. Heh heh heh.

Yes, I am. Are not.

Yes, I've been called that. Yes, I have.

You are the man. You're space ghost.

You can't say "butt" On this program!

You ever get a wedgie in tights? It's not pleasant.

You look pretty cut. You look pretty buff.

You really are. Fantastic.

You the man. No, youthe man.

You the man. No, youthe man.

You the man. You are the man.

You're good. This is fun.

You're not fooling anyone, zorak. We know it's you.

You're the man, schooly. Live with it.

Zorak, I don't feel well. You do it.

Zorak. I like saying zorak.

Zorak. Oh, yeah.

..

'Cause everybody'd be glued to the set.

'Cause I'm usually, like, a small power band, believe it or not.

"And that man was... Walt Disney... And that's... The rest of... The story."

"D" is for different and delightful

"Dark, ominous clouds hung over..."

"Fun" into dysfunction!

"Hey, they hit Joey Lawrence in the knee cap yet?"

"Hey" right back at you, branford.

"If you don't comply, "moltar will be resickled... Re... recycled

"If you ever want to see moltar again, "surrender your power bands

"Thank you, space ghost."

"weird al" yankovic.

(Rrrrrr!)

* a boy who loves his mother's knee *

* A one, a two * a one, two, three!

* A woo whadaa weedo * wa wa *

* ah ah ah ah Bless you, moltar.

* Ah ah... Now contort your body.

* Ah, yes, to be or not to be * a Rouge or peasant slave as what you see *

* Ah!

* Ah... * Ah!

* and he can count to 3 * space ghost she digs me!

* and the universe will be mine, mine, mine *

* and the universe will be ours, ours, ours *

* are * you can't run, and you can't... *

* Bom, bom bom, bom, bom, bom bom *

* Dang, dong, dang *

* Dee Dee Dee Dee

* Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee *

* doo doo doo doo doo solo! * dum dum scooba doo doo doo *

* Dubba dubba dubba dubba dubba dubba dubba *

* from coast to coast listen, we have to go

* Gong gong gong abadabada bada *

* he's got muscles that you can't see *

* Here on gilligan's isle, hey *

* hide * because we'll find you, space ghost *

* I love you you don't love us, Barney.

* I'm banjo, banjo * faster than lightning.

* Lee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee *

* my locust ship is arriving * and I will conquer you

* Oh... * I love space ghost, he's a hot stud *

* Rock a bye, space ghost * say your prayers

* Slazoo doo zabbo vaboo delaboo *

* space ghost, space ghost *

* Space ghost, space ghost *

* star * we know exactly where you... *

* To be or not to be * that is the question that I..

* Twinkle, twinkle, little..

* Uh oh

* uh oh oh oh oh oh!

* vazoo zoo zoo zoo

* Weh weh weh weh wa wa wa wa wa wa wa *

* weh weh weh weh weh weh weh weh *

* weh weh weh weh weh weh weh weh weh *

* weh weh, weh weh, weh weh, weh weh...**

* yeah * polka ha ha ha ha.

* Zogabooca daba.

*... Ah what does that feel like?

**

**

**