Jay Cartwright - Inbetweeners Soundboard Edit

All right.

All the time.

Alright, alright. She gave me a hand job, not a blower.

And I got paid a grand at the end of the week.

And my cock was too big for her.

Bollocks.

Completed it mate

Don't believe me? Then you not should come down to Camber Sands. Even being born might get some sex.

Friend, friend, friend calling or hello friend? Pick up the phone to my friend friend.

Got one off the cleaner when I was 12.

Had one bent over the table here. There was one up here I was fingering. I was just so fucking the one on the floor.

I fucked a Dutch girl.

I got so good here that the FA offered me a role in the England setup.

I know a bloke who builds Formula One cars. He owes me a favour.

I was brilliant mate. I pissed right in her mouth.

I'll be up to my nuts in some guts shagging those two sisters from Caravan Club.

I'm gonna have to go. I've got this call from Ralph Lauren.

I'm just really good at shagging now, that's all I'm saying.

I've just baked you a finger pie. Why don't you come smoke cium? And taste it.

It's the camp stands making this weekend, which is always like a massive orgy.

Jay.

Let's give her the boot.

Nah.

Now look, it was properly filthy. That I shouldn't tell.

On holiday in Spain one year, me and my mate took a pedalo out. We went to Africa.

On the more supervision.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your Dong is massive. I want to blow you love from your secret slut.

See.

She shit down my arm.

Shouldn't have this threesome, even though I organised it with a top level model.

Tower of London.

Trying to get really deep, right up to the balls.

Was the West Ham on the 13th football tour?

Well, I had one this morning thinking about your mom's tits. Is that a lie?

Well, when I fingered her, she shit down my arm.

What?

When I worked there last summer, I spent everyday jumping JCB's over cement mixers.

Wouldn't your mum complaining, although male force four at the time?

Yeah, can do.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes, that's how you finish blowjobs.