💬 Bert Kreischer Soundboard

Bitch, you promised.

Goulard is fucking awesome.

He does not find me funny.

Health. I don't wanna die.

Hey, listen, you motherfucker.

I felt cause I'm fat.

I love you guys.

I think my real addiction in life is food.

I'm gonna be so excited.

I'm soaking wet. Good thing I'm hydrated.

I'm sorry, what did you just say?

I'm the machine #machine #russia #comic #comedy

It's a joke, everybody. It's a joke.

Oh my God, I'm crying and sweating right now.

Thunderstorms. There's thunderstorms.

Trust me, if Dave Chappelle hadn't taken off for South Africa. Uh-huh. And Chris Tucker hadn't found Jesus, Kevin Hart may not be working.

What's he saying?

You every time I hug a white guy, it's like hugging a dolphin.

Bert Kreischer Soundboard
Bert Kreischer is an American stand-up comedian, podcaster, reality television host and actor. He is the producer and host of Bertcast, a weekly comedy podcast on the All Things Comedy network. See also: The Cabin with Bert Kreischer, The Machine (2023 film), List of American films of 2023, Bert the Conqueror, Bert (name), Duncan Trussell.
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