Ultimate Matt Berry Soundboard Edit

A charming lady.

A gentleman caller.

A girl from a tiny village. On a dirt island in the Mediterranean.

A girl with no surname. No social standing. They actually called her a peasant girl.

A goat.

A good evening.

A sex change operation.

A slice of a fair system, wouldn't you say?

A smart thing to do now would be to get out of town. That's what Lazlo would do.

A super slumber is an act performed by the most desperate of vampire.

A total ban on turtlenecks.

A van. It's not the same, is it? Can you at least make sure it's black?

A. See a picture. Naming the lights above.

Abandon the vessel immediately.

About 10 minutes.

Absolutely anything.

Absolutely not.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Actually, if you wanna do Nandor a favour, you could put that on, head down to Massive Fitness and get a date with the receptionist called Meg.

After all that nonsense on Staten Island, I cut loose to Pennsylvania because it sounded like Transylvania, and we all know that sounds cool.

Agreed. Thank you.

Ah, but even the most wealthy of vampires, they don't own what I own.

Ah, I see. You want to finish your final human orgasm. Yes?

Ah, that's my first ship. Is a piece of shit.

Ah, there's somebody at the door. There's somebody.

Ah. Here we go.

AHHHHH!

All I know is I haven't had a whistle of wool or tag.

All kinds of effin and jeffin.

All of my knowledge and the best of my abilities will turn you into the most impressive vampire there is.

All right, all right, keep your hair on. I've already arranged for some local vampires to come round for Colin Robinson's birthday.

All right, calm down.

All right, can't complain.

All right, mate.

All right, sailor.

All right, simmer down, Sean. We can't all be pillow experts.

All right, you've made your point. Let's call this a night.

All right.

All right. Is that chicken spell worn off?

All right. Let's get him to a private place where we'll both hypnotize him. You'll forget everything. Good old double hypnosis.

All these years of obsession and hatred.

All this is playing havoc with my guts.

All we need to do is send that to 10 friends or foes by sunrise and the curse will be lifted.

Alright then, Constantine.

Alright, all the best.

Alright, alright my darling.

Alright, alright, you've made your point. Get off me.

Alright, found it.

Alright, I didn't see you. She should be in a bloody cage.

Alright, well, I'll leave you to whatever the hell you were doing.

Alright.

Alright.

Am I a coward? Of course not.

Am I devious? Yes, I think I am.

America's premier nocturnal playground of hedonistic debauchery.

Amongst the broken tulips in the Garden State.

And a new outlet even was too hot, too late.

And as a sign of respect, we have decided to better you betwixt my two favorite vaginas out of my wife. And my mother.

And as limp as a finger.

And by lunchtime I was in the whole House with two prostitutes and three good time boys.

And by that I mean the new.

And cheap repairs to get down to the business of debt.

And consumable with butter.

And enjoy the most magical night of your life.

And eventually I realized, better for the poor bastard to not know at all.

And every human being they knew is dead, and every vampire they knew was scattered to the four winds and started a new life without them.

And from there I was in charge of sloops, battleships, brigantines, the Titanic for two seconds.

And he's become a massive prick.

And here we have the peace dockerty stones, my mother.

And how would you like me to answer that?

And I feel I succeeded.

And I myself did. Contract leprosy, but I was quite lucky because it couldn't be seen. It was only one part of my anatomy.

And I promised I'd never get emotional in front of you chaps, but. I didn't sc**** and murder my way to Pennsylvania to watch those talented athletes get fucked off.

And I wish I'd made love more.

And I won't start now.

And I'll tell you something, Jackie did Homer's life. It ain't so bad.

And I'm here to stop that kind of jive.

And I'm starting to get some pretty primal urges.

And I've heard there's a lot of nudity, and I mean a lot.

And I've not looked back since.

And if anyone else has anything to say, I would say now's the time to say it.

And if she hadn't told me I'd be reading the Bible, I wouldn't fucking agree to it.

And if you don't wear a cap? You look like a fucking knee trembler.

And is bamboozled.

And it was bollocks.

And it's a golden threesome with no holes back. And.

And it's like that Titanic film. Everybody knew what was going to happen in the end, but it was still a tremendous hit.

And let's face it, she's not all that. But this grinning fool is desperate.

And may I say, you are a credit to the women's suffragette movement.

And most birds would be appalled by this display. Yet this slack prick doesn't know up from down.

And now for the grand finale.

And now I will.

And now the 1990s, could it be any sexier?

And one of those is not sitting with you to pilchards making horse noises.

And so it begins.

And so you think this eye child is linked with the big eye that ****d the man in B wing?

And tell me how you do that. You're locked in a fucking cage.

And that would include Canada. What the fuck would anyone want with Canada?

And that you needed me about at all times to take care of you.

And the odds against you being normal afterwards are pretty fucking low.

And the Super slumber consists of a vampire sleeping for over 50 years, 100 years or worst case scenario up to 300 years.

And then about a week later, that developed into pornos.

And then, one night, everything changed.

And those fuckers expelled me from the Sherwood club.

And to an expert in the arcane and black arts.

And tonight.

And we are truly sorry and we're taking this very seriously and these are our serious faces.

And we've got our own champion. He goes by the name of Nandor the relentless.

And what good is some soil from your homeland? When your best friend in the whole world is suffering.

And what I dismissed the rumour, is actually true.

And when I say a lot, I don't just mean a whiff of tit, I mean the full rack.

And when it does, I think she'll be very impressed.

And when we all know you hate the woman, that much is clear.

And which word in particular do you object to your honour?

And who do we have here?

And yet, like nothing I've heard before.

And you get in your car and you drive back to the Amazon.

And you won't remember a thing about.

And you're also very easy on the eye.

And you're familiar. He likes it, don't you, Dustin?

Animals are all around us, extraordinary, inspirational, craftily adapted or credit adapted to their environment and designed for survival.

Anything gets me hard.

Anything I can help with?

Anyway, enough about our balls.

Anyway, how dare you.

Anyway, I've invited Colin Robinson.

Anyway, obviously I invited her in.

Anyway, treachery was afoot and I was expelled from the Sherwood Club of London.

Anyway.

Anyway. One night I was awoken by this. Horrible clawing at the window and I thought, who the hell is that?

Are you fucking deaf?

Are you fucking talking about? He's just a familiar.

Are you joking, ray patches?

Are you keeping well?

Are you kidding?

Are you mental?

Are you OK?

Are you sure you're going to be alright?

Aristotle's book of Poetics 2. Is that code? No.

As a joke, nothing more.

As an advocate of the old ways, can I just apologize for the straight paper? But it should have been human skin, obviously.

As the pages fall from the calendar, we can do nothing but wait.

As we both know my darling from experience.

At 6:55, I hypnotize arterio Rodriguez.

At last.

Aye!

Aye. Hey, this casket close?

Back to Lazlo.

Bad.

Bad.

Bang goes my Hippocratic Oath.

Bang.

Baron, are you there?

Basically, we're fucked.

Bat

Bat!

Be gone.

Be quiet.

Because he's my best friend. He's my pal, he's my homeboy, my rotten soldier. He's my sweet cheese, my good time boy.

Because I killed him.

Because I live on the third floor.

Because I'm playing the keyboard till 2.

Because if I remember correctly, I walked into the John and someone had left a huge floater.

Because my heart was in pain.

Because the temperature is too high.

Because there's only one in the whole world.

Because you let the fire burn down.

Been monkeying around with my precious volume.

Before they meet the one, then if they're lucky, they can go off and fuck millions of others like we do.

Before we go on, Linda, do you need to go to the toilet?

Bet you didn't know that existed.

Better for me to show him a good time during his last months of life.

Between you and either, I wouldn't normally spend this much time with him, but I figured the quicker he gets on with it, the quicker he shut his mouth.

Biggest mistake I ever made.

Birds, however, love to dance.

Blessedly unburdened with the complications of a university education, but give him an axe. And he's second to none.

Bloody hell, we're being enchanted.

Bodyguard break the door down.

Bollocks.

Boring.

Bosses you can my dear, like now.

Boy, Mr Majestic, I fucking told you.

Boy, where's my cup of tea?

Boy, you piece of shit then, you fucking cunt, man.

BU vampire.

Bugger off.

Bullshit.

Bullshit. Please remember that this man is a vampire killer.

Bullshit. You made it up as you were going along.

Burn natelli, the most successful businessman of the year.

But a huge honor all the same.

But as the old saying goes, I didn't come here to make friends. And that's bullshit. That's exactly what I came here to do.

But as you can see, the place is fucking massive.

But hang on, it's night. Shouldn't there be no one in there?

But hear me out. Truth is, I came here to pitch woo but was so nervous I took a calming physic to settle my nerves. That drug turned me into a fucking monster.

But how dare you do that? You will end up like Adriana.

But I also feel this could be the beginning.

But I couldn't give a fuck.

But I digress.

But I enjoy it.

But I think I know why.

But I thought you were dead.

But I'll tell you this, my luck changed the night I met Najib, for she is an exquisite lyricist.

But I'm glad he's in our deck.

But I'm here to help you with that.

But I'm not Lazlo. I'm Jackie Daytona and I made a promise to this town.

But I've mainly defended a lot of horns and horses.

But if we seriously think he's going to quick us, then we should pick him first.

But if you and he wish to be best buddies again, I won't stand in your way.

But it's science.

But remember, no bullshit from thy mouth.

But she's hurt. She may need our help.

But take that up a notch to a 3 way hypnosis.

But that is no longer true where it ever so.

But that'll heal immediately. There we are.

But the truth is, my darling, you don't need anyone to keep you safe.

But there again, he was always saying shit like that.

But this is the original.

But watch this.

But we like it.

But we need to worry about that anymore. We don't know where the hat is. Well, right?

But what I found shocked me.

But what you're failing to understand is the ball lake that we both had trying to get this from inside there to out here.

But where we come from, 2 roughs means you're up for anything.

But with you, it was real. I did it because you're different.

But you have gizmo at your side.

But you need to be careful. That's not even witches trying to pinch your semen.

But.

By joke. I'm 80.

Came through the window and took my life.

Can I just say on behalf of us ohh fuck, it doesn't matter.

Can I take a rain check on that? My guts are playing.

Can we get on with this?

Can we have a closer look?

Carrie's got a gun.

Carry on.

Cat anime tales, Oliver Cromwell's head, my cod piece, bat cod piece.

Centuries ago, I commanded the captain's helm of many an important vessel.

Certainly is.

Champions, choose your weapons.

Check out our website today for details.

Cheers.

Colin Robinson is dying.

Colin Robinson we are in the presence of asylum.

Colin Robinson will be dead by sunrise.

Colin Robinson, when you talk to me. About 19th century naval battles. I was genuinely interested. I didn't let you know that, because then you'd have stopped. Maybe I didn't want you to stop.

Come back. Come back.

Come in. Right up. One human alcohol beer it is.

Come on Joe, drink up. But I want Carol ringing here again.

Come on then, let's go for a ride.

Come on then, Plato, enlighten me.

Come on, Colin Robinson, we're off.

Come on, Liz, I hope you apply some more makeup.

Come on, my darling, let's head for the women's intimate.

Come on.

Come on. We both knew it was on the cards as soon as I realized you were a woman.

Come on. We both knew it was on the cards as soon as I realized you were a woman. I left strict instructions not to be disturbed in case we had sex.

Come.

Coming from the starboard bow.

Connie Robinson believes that Plum Island holds the secrets to his energy vampire origin.

Continue with your tail.

Cordless engine frigging smarts as well.

Cordless iron. Friggin' smarts as well

Could this ruin the greatest friendship of my life?

Could you do me a small favour? Fetch me the book which is next to my father's ashes.

Count me in.

Courage and honour.

Cry ohh.

Dag, it's Liz. She's having a vision.

Damn handsome one like that, I might say. You're too kind.

Damn well think so.

Davia. Deep dive Mecca.

Delicious.

Depends what mood he's in.

Did I get you?

Did your mom die when you were young?

Didn't see that coming.

Didn't you hear what she just said? We're gonna rule the fucking place. Rule Britannia.

Dig there.

Digestive my darkest Princess.

Dinner is served.

Disgusting.

Do that now.

Do what?

Do you have a name, my darling?

Do you mean the rumours that I killed my wife?

Do you think I could get to like this? Just the job, good work. Hmm, nice and loose.

Doctor blazes, you're going to be kidding.

Doctor has the matter with you, Dad?

Doctor Sanchez.

Does the pillow come with the pillow case?

Don't ask me where I got them from.

Don't even know I'm doing it. I thought I was helping attach a drip.

Don't fear, my darling.

Don't know what the Hell's got into him.

Don't let him fucking see this.

Don't look my sweet darling. It's too dangerous.

Don't mind if I do.

Don't raise your glass too soon, Ben, cause this has all been one big ruse. It isn't your day at all.

Don't raise your glasses too soon, cause this ruse has also been a ruse.

Don't see a misuse. They're the biggest con of the 20th century.

Don't touch that book, Cosmo. It's too much for your young cock.

Don't worry, I've coordinated a secret escape plan.

Don't worry, my darling, I shall protect.

Don't you dare.

Don't you temper, temper me, boy. Just do your job.

Down with the old ways. Up with the new world.

Drinks on the House.

Drive, my darling. We've got no evidence that it was him.

During The Climax

Egypt's longest penises.

El Craven's worth at NY Connex. Dot com.

Electronically.

Energy vampires, it said, have a life expectancy of exactly 100 years.

Even easier.

Even vampire tricked him steam room.

Everyone come down.

Everyone fucks and sucks thousands of chaps and chap asses.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Exactly. I was misinformed.

Exactly. Who knows, they may even be stolen.

Excelsior.

Face me, old chap.

Fair enough.

Fantastic stuff. All the best my darling 2.

Father, is it really you? Is this really heaven?

Father.

Fear not, Colin Robinson captain never abandons his crew.

Female Sulu being their captain aboard.

Few of my favorite things, as they say.

Fire the nuclear weapons.

Fire the nuclear weapons.

Fire the nuclear weapons.

Five and nuclear weapons. Fire the nuclear weapons. Fire the nuclear weapons. Fire the nuclear weapons. Fire about nuclear weapons. Yeah.

For his tummy.

For I am a grifter and this is grifting 101.

For I myself used to be a barrister on the Queens bench.

For I, as many as pseudonym, such as Jeff Goulash, Phillip Switch, or Baz Ravish.

For me. But why the hell would you be here for me? And who the hell are you anyway?

For the Geek Squad. Geek Squad? Not a problem at all.

For the last time, can you turn this TV down?

For this, vampiric Council holds the world's oldest and largest collection of pornography.

For today is an auspicious day for a couple of reasons, one of which we are joined by such esteemed vampires. The other happens to be the 100th birthday of our housemate, our friend, and the energy...

For tonight is the night that I must disappear forever.

Forgive me, my darling.

Forgive us, old chap.

Former Katie Didling wiggling snarly.

Free but compulsory harpsichord concerts every day of the week.

Free hat even better.

From here I can't tell the difference. You both look exactly the same.

From when?

Fuck it.

Fuck me.

Fuck no.

Fuck off.

Fuck off.

Fuck off.

Fuck sake.

Fuck, we'll get a shovel.

Fuck.

Fucking halfwit.

Fucking hell.

Fucking hell. Well done, Chad.

Fucking knew this would happen.

Fucking swear at me.

Fucking thing just bit me.

Full Blazers.

Full boobies, full boners.

Geek chic. I wanna tear my eyes out.

Get in the hole.

Get lost.

Get over it. Purchase.

Get them out of my sight now, you smart ass.

Get your hand off. My wife's ample but firm backside.

Get your point, stranger.

Give it up, Dad. Dad thinks the potential killer. Look at these lab results.

Gizmo be a good, familiar and fetching broom.

Gizmo he's been causing havoc in the household.

Gizmo likes it, don't you?

Gizmo stopped doing that.

Gizmo's probably cursed.

Go like this. And push you back up.

Go to the meeting. I'll be right there.

God yeah. No taboos left anywhere anymore.

Good evening, Michael.

Good evening, your Excellencies.

Good evening. Good evening.

Good eye.

Good idea.

Good morning.

Good show.

Good to see you.

Good. Fucking kidding.

Goodnight my darling.

Goodnight.

Got nothing to do with the hat. It's the bookshelf which I charged you to fix.

Gotcha.

Great fucking purchase

Great job, dad.

Great joke also.

Great pine.

Great. But you go ahead and we'll wait.

Greenberg.

Grifting happens to be an art form.

Guess who tipped off the natives?

Guillermo is a damn good bodyguard. He will keep you safe.

Guilty as charged.

Had a dream come true? And when you smile for the camera. Now they're going to love it, man.

Hang on a second. You turned yourself into a doll in a place that imprisons dogs.

Happy to help, he says. It also has his phone number. And e-mail address.

Have I got to sit and listen to you two talk about leg warmers all day?

Have No Fear, here I am.

Have we not escaped from this fluorescent mausoleum? We'd be fucking dead.

Have you any idea how difficult it is to make a porno?

Have you chosen your champion?

Having found one that seems gay, he stays close to her side to ensure that no other hopping dog tries to cup off with her.

He could be called Mickey Gilley Akmar.

He doesn't. I haven't had the heart to tell him.

He is got nothing underneath it by the looks of it.

He is proficient in Excel.

He must have noticed me eyeing it because in his dying breath he said take my hat, it's good.

He tricked me with her witchcraft.

He was just joking. It was was it was just an idea that we were kicking upstream.

He was still giving me shit over that hammer.

He will. He's the best damn doctor on the wing. Or any other wing for that matter.

He'll come up Trump's.

He'll just do his mind magic on.

He's as mad as a wax banana.

He's been disappearing to the penny pornos.

He's been down there for hours, desperately trying to find out what he can about the origin of energy vampires.

He's been on the sauce all day.

He's broken the bloody window.

He's called Nando, and this is called let's steal the disco.

He's getting into it. This is going to be spectacular.

He's going ah.

He's gone into the salon.

He's gonna make it just but the chickens off.

He's got that slack jaw, half wit look.

He's just fucking said that.

He's mad.

He's not that clever.

He's only here to steal my hat.

Hehehe

Hell's horses.

Hello my darling.

Hello Steven, this is Clem Fandango. Can you hear me?

Hello there, Sir.

Hello, Elvis.

Hello, this is Inspector Rabbit talking on the stick.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello. How?

Here I am behind the dead chap, 2 fingers in the air, doing the rabbit.

Here is the chimera.

Here she is.

Here we go.

Here's another one that was cruelly stolen from me.

Here's Moe.

Here's to love and making love.

Here's your surprise.

Hey bud, just give Me 2 ticks.

Hey mate.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Hey, Jim the vampire, you're fired.

Hey, why aren't you taking our clothes off?

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

His father was a member of a club called the Sherwood Club of London.

His has grown and he's draining us. He's not only draining us. This is a mega DRAM.

His main crime was that he's dull.

His name was Mike.

His wife will probably kill him.

Hit the double hypnosis commands.

Hmm. Can I speak frankly?

Hold on a second. We were promised nudity, penis and full Bush.

Hold on, hold on. I've got this covered. Shit.

Hold tight.

Hold your horlicks.

Holiday time.

Honestly, Jane, I don't think anybody's going to agree with you about this.

How about I put this toy where the moon don't shine?

How dare you.

How do you think the guy's got a fault through his channel?

How irritating.

How many pillows?

How the fuck was that?

How you diddling JoJo?

How's tricks?

Hug the wall.

Human fall.

I acquired this hat while dreading the blood of a Bavarian hexen Brenner. Or which burner?

I always have.

I always knew we couldn't trust your car.

I always wondered where they hid it away. And it's been right under my nose the entire time.

I am Filtrated the Township posing as your average American Yankee Doodle dandy.

I am just a regular human guy.

I am led to believe that your presence here indicates some kind of unfinished business on this terrestrial planet.

I am the tempo king.

I apologise for the billiard ball to the head.

I backed this chap on a midnight sojourn to the leg district.

I beg your pardon?

I beg your pardon?

I began my seafaring life as a young sailor, scrubbing the poop decks.

I bought these especially for the occasion.

I can feel my powers fading, but. Ohh fucking sparro.

I can't be bothered to hold this anymore. Can you tether it?

I can't even slumber knowing he's downstairs in that basement.

I can't hear you unless you push the button.

I can't. I can't hear you. Press the button.

I certainly did.

I could borrow that and get anything I want.

I could watch him clean all day.

I couldn't believe it myself, but what my own eyes have seen, my own eyes have seen.

I dare you to say that one more time.

I did cut a small hole in the bottom of the coffin, so if he is either accurate or persistent he should be fine.

I did invent the portrait bomb.

I did take a brief sojourn to the Golden State.

I didn't ask.

I didn't become a vampire to end up a pen pushing bureaucrat. I became a vampire to suck blood and to fuck forever.

I didn't catch a word of that, alright.

I do beautiful part of the world.

I don't care.

I don't consider that a curse.

I don't give a fuck.

I don't give a monkeys.

I don't know about you, old chap, but I have a raging hard on.

I don't know if it can do that.

I don't know, maybe I've gone soft in my old age, but I've noticed that he looks a bit lonely. I thought I'd spend some time with him. I mean, you could call it my good deed.

I don't know.

I don't mind saying I need your help, Billy Bass. I'm shit out of ideas.

I don't need cheering.

I don't think I've ever looked in this drawer. Wow, a gum.

I don't think she followed the plots.

I don't think so, my old boy.

I don't use a pillow.

I don't wanna be rude, Colin Robinson, but could you get on with it?

I don't want any trouble.

I don't want you to worry about this one second longer.

I feel a huge injustice has occurred here today and it needs addressing.

I gave it to an acquaintance in the Bronx, where I believe it remains to this day.

I gave you those raccoons as a bloody gift.

I gotta get out.

I had a bad back and I cured it thanks to the techniques outlined in this groundbreaking expose of the massage industry.

I had a mother once.

I had the cleaver in my hand.

I had to sit there for about 7 hours and they still do it now. Why? Because it's hilarious.

I have caused my best human friend Sean to be on the brink of financial ruin and heartache.

I have no reflection in the rear view mirror.

I have recently rediscovered my love for Topiary sculpture.

I haven't got a fucking clue what is.

I haven't seen that yet.

I haven't spent much time with Colin Robinson in the past for the main obvious reason that he's incredibly fucking dull.

I hypnotised this, so you'll start from a clean slate.

I just came to say goodbye.

I just wanted you to know this calendar doesn't make a million pounds. I'm holding you personally responsible.

I knew there was a page or two on energy vampires in Edmond Wheelwrights compendium vampirism.

I know what I'm doing.

I know who you are. Outward appearance may have changed. The pattern remains the same. You get reborn, you try and find her. And I cut your head off.

I know.

I left strict instructions not to be disturbed in case we had sex.

I left strict instructions not to be disturbed in case we had sex.

I like the tie-dye. You've been to a concert.

I love you and I love you. I did. I tell you that I love you.

I made a vow never to return to that Cat house ever, ever again.

I made him into a vampire back in the 1970s. He sometimes uses this room which you can see he's doing some recording, so.

I mean, I won't play a bald man, not even on Radio 4, but I'm not gay skeptic. Let's go.

I mean, I've known people who have committed suicide after a poor orgy.

I mean, there's talk we could possibly join forces. Take the lion share of New York City.

I mean, you don't need the two of us, surely?

I must say I'm I'm not sure I fully disapprove of this abduction.

I need 10 minutes to recover.

I need some air.

I need to borrow your credit card and not tell you why.

I need to sort this and I need to sort it now.

I never learned to drive, which is a pity, because that thing cost a fortune.

I now go by the name of Daytona, Jackie Daytona.

I personally use rechargeable batteries.

I played the leading role of the very Randy Vampire.

I pretended I couldn't see it, which will give us the element of surprise.

I probably don't need the script, it's just a word.

I promise, father.

I put my heavy heart to one side for the love of my good lady wife, Najah.

I put some sounds on. There's a bad atmosphere in here.

I really have no idea.

I remember the first time I met Colin Robinson. I thought to myself, how can one man be so fucking dull?

I said I'm sorry.

I said I'm sorry.

I said may I approach the bench?

I said something which you will heartily agree with.

I said. Are you fucking deaf? If you are, then you may be thinking of investing in a digital hearing aid.

I saw this. I'm going to get a drink.

I say an incredible idea.

I say apologies for not making it to Plum Island to find out more about your energy vampire origins.

I say little vampire, I'm very sorry for saying you should be kept in a cage.

I say, has everyone remembered to sign Colin Robinson's birthday card?

I say. Release me.

I seem to remember him having genitals.

I sense there's something else that's bothering you.

I sense you are angry tonight. And with good reason, for we have been imprisoned. Yes, without trial, now is the time to hoist our oars and row towards freedom.

I set lucky bruise ablaze and picked up the insurance money to put the girls volleyball team through to state.

I should be in our bed chamber.

I should cut your head off.

I should say it does.

I stand corrected.

I suggest you fuck off and never darken our doorstep again.

I suppose it won't surprise thee to learn that I've prepared for a night such as this.

I tell you, if what they're saying is true, both my wife and I would be dead by now.

I think I can get you out of this hole.

I think I'm gonna put.

I think it's very funny indeed, Colin.

I think it's worked.

I think she wants us to come inside.

I think someone summoned a breakfast burrito.

I think that's one of the harmonica.

I think the main purpose for the Baron's visit is to find out whether we as vampires have populated America.

I think they've built this around the car.

I think we did.

I think we'll need more than a penny loose. Whereas poor girls, they didn't deserve that.

I think you need to pipe down the old chef.

I too have written something, yes. None. That's it.

I took part in thousands of pornos over the years. If you see them now, they are still very, very erotic.

I tried my luck, but she's clearly not into guys.

I used to be a member of a club, the show would Club of London.

I want my way, and you want yours.

I want to speak to you, you son of a bitch. What? I love you. Who? I do too. Good.

I was a cat.

I was a different person. I was Jackie dead tonight.

I was cast because they thought that I looked like a vampire.

I was doing the bloody disco 100 years before any other fucker.

I was Jack the Ripper.

I was never in any doubt.

I was on board that ship with the catalyst.

I was the most handsome man in our village.

I wasn't really listening, so if you wouldn't mind repeating it.

I went to the Padre to confess. Ended up washing my ass in the front.

I will not be paying for anything today.

I wish I was more attractive like daglas.

I won't be talked into any extended warranty.

I won't tell her so.

I wonder if it's loaded. No.

I wouldn't care. I tell everyone that's where I go. In fact, I've just come back from there.

I wouldn't go that far.

I wouldn't take that personally.

I wrote that song, but I'm a jolly good fellow. That's what it was originally called.

I wrote this melody in 1852. It was called Chuman Irie, an ode to the local fishmongers misses Irene.

I'd agree to meet the devil at an intersection of roadways where we do a deal, where I would become a much better guitarist.

I'd give anything to see her walk through that door right now.

I'd go myself but. I can't be fucked.

I'd like to see the construction of a huge opaque Dome the size of the city covering the city, blocking out all sunlight.

I'd rather not.

I'd say he's been brainwashed.

I'd say surrender, but it's my mother's Volvo we're talking about.

I'd say that you didn't experience true love today.

I'd say we're fucked.

I'll be with you in two seconds. You can scrub my legs.

I'll get him up.

I'll just go back inside and leave you to talking to the air.

I'll keep my peepers peeled for that guy.

I'm about to close friend out. Anything quick I can rustle you?

I'm about to launch a Sputnik.

I'm afraid they'll always be dear ladies, but you're paying for reliability.

I'm bearing up. You know me, Dad.

I'm busy here.

I'm Colin Dent.

I'm coming with you.

I'm coming, father. I'm ready.

I'm Doctor Sanchez. You're a woman.

I'm fine, yes. Yes, I'm fine, yes.

I'm fucking and you've done it again, yeah?

I'm glad to see your foot injury isn't slowing you down.

I'm guessing I've come to the end of the road.

I'm guessing the jig is up.

I'm not coming to the orgy. I'm not in the mood.

I'm not coming.

I'm not going to do this if your man's pissing against the wall.

I'm not going to leave you, Colin Robinson.

I'm not having that.

I'm not paying for shit.

I'm not supposed like somebody fucks a car in it.

I'm not sure that's aged well.

I'm one track lover.

I'm ready.

I'm sad to say that the only secure route to a knighthood in this sorry age is via charity work.

I'm sorry.

I'm very much in the middle for some sexual intercourse.

I've been gone ages and all you can do is hello Lazlo.

I've been robbed, I say. Robbed.

I've been shit on from a great height and it's not the first time.

I've got my Cape caught in the door.

I've gotta be honest, I haven't stepped inside a court for about 300 years.

I've just given the order to fire their nuclear weapons. I've just unleashed Armageddon.

I've known for months.

I've never told anyone that before.

I've no idea what my home phone number is. What is it?

I've tried to finish myself off with these hands, but they're ghost hands and they don't have the necessary stimulus.

If he has not expired or drowned in his own filth during the transatlantic crossing.

If I had given her some, Lucas said. And that seems to have helped. But she said she's having visions. But I've got a real honest show.

If I were to need rest and recuperation from a dear friend's death, that fuckhole would be the last place on Earth that I would choose to go back to.

If she found out, she'd have me for dinner and you for dessert.

If she is sufficiently impressed, she will have fuck with the geezer with the best moves.

If there is a stone, so to speak, in your shoe that needs eliminating.

If this has anything to do with the fact that I won't let anybody touch Colin Robinson's body yet I myself have not been down to the basement to pay my respects, I can answer that there's nothing d...

If we are technically dead like he says, could ghosts of us exist?

If we charge 5 bucks a ticket, imagine the amount of money will raise for these girls.

If we slowed this down, it would stop forever and a day.

If you act like a cheap arsehole, expect the shittiest portion.

If you think he's going to whack us first, yes.

If you've got something to say, then damn well say it.

In Costa Rica lives one of the natural world's biggest glamour boys, the branch Pidgeon.

In New York City.

In the back garden as we speak.

In your own time.

Indeed so.

Indeed, that one.

Indeed.

Is he being sarcastic?

Is he zapping our energy?

Is it pointless? I already know she's got my briefcase.

Is that a friend of yours?

Is that it? Just that one word?

Is that understood?

Is this for real?

Is this the bonus pile or is that?

Is this what you want?

Isn't it splendid?

Isn't it true that you? Used to be a man.

It is a strange and dangerous netherworld we inhabit, and I once thought you too weak and defenseless to navigate it on your own.

It is possible to over hypnotize and I fear that's what we've done with Sean.

It is the instinct to procreate the most powerfully motivates, or protiva hates their existence.

It is you who is outnumbered this time.

It isn't true, you say.

It may have sprang from necessity, but now I feel as though I may never depart.

It needs a cake.

It really is the most desperate measure for any vampire.

It says here some girl called Ariana disobey Bloody Mary and now she's dead. They ripped her guts out, dropped them on the front doorstep of her parents.

It'll be best for everybody if you show yourself now.

It's 100% witch skin.

It's a classic necromancer scam.

It's a contrast, but something I wouldn't say no to.

It's a fucking knife.

It's a pleasure swing. You're fucked, nut, not a sex net.

It's about up a dog county, but it's all I've got.

It's about.

It's all there. Razzle dazzle, man.

It's best just to kind of blend in like like we are now, yes.

It's called a Stutz Lazlo. They only made four. They gave one to Henry Ford and then he gave his one to his hero Mussolini.

It's hard to tell with your mad eyes.

It's my flick knife.

It's my soup. I made it myself. Took me a few days.

It's not high. Who needs help? It's you.

It's not the same as just flashing a few papers or wanking off Morris from steerage. There's a lot more to it.

It's not you. It's me now. Actually, it's not me. It is you.

It's over there.

It's printed on your card very clearly.

It's simple. We take the car apart here, move it outside, then reassemble it there.

It's the bloody goat.

It's the jeepers, man.

It's true to say he's left his mark on Staten Island. It's also true to say. He's left his mark on my heart.

It's true, I've got to admit, Wallace is contemptible. A man as he is actually came up Trump's.

It's true, you're not supposed to do that, but to be honest, I was bored.

It's true. I can play anything I don't give a monkey.

It's well plotted and the fact that the chauffeur is the murderer is very cleverly concealed from the audience with a series of delicious red heading.

It's worse than that. We don't even have a gun.

Jackie Daytona has a Major League plan.

Jackie Daytona.

Jen, do you have a moment?

Jesus Christ, I got things to do.

Johnny goes.

Johnny.

Jonah.

Judging by that look on your face, I'd say there's something on your mind.

Judy. Between you and I, could I really notice the difference between 5.1 and 7.1 surround?

Just a regular human heart tender.

Just between you and I awhile back, the Baron and I enjoyed a very intense sex affair.

Just leave.

Just out of interest dawg, what kind of batteries are you using?

Just pull that thing there. I don't know. Fiddle about with it.

Just put it in your pocket.

Just watch yourself, otherwise it'll be suicide by porno.

Kaya.

Keep your fucking distance, distance, distance.

Kicking up bones.

King, how could you do this? It was me who made you a vampire.

Knew my darling won't remember a thing about a damn thing.

Ladies and gentlemen, I think you'll agree that's wild love.

Lamest of all birds.

Laszlo.

Lazlo doesn't suck. And if he did, he certainly wouldn't do it backwards.

Lazlo, it's saying my name. You won't be able to hear that because you don't have the finely attuned ears that we do.

Leave him alone and come.

Left of it, left a bit more. It's not even.

Less alarming.

Let's do it.

Let's give him one last night to remember one magical night on Earth before we him.

Let's go, bucks.

Let's go, bucks.

Let's go. We've lingered here long enough.

Let's just get it off the grass.

Like a cheap thief.

Like a pub on a pipe.

Like a snake in heat.

Like all males, they use their sense of smell to find out if a female is sexually available.

Like hell it was.

Like paint is the Sistine Chapel? Sure.

Listen, I don't know about you, but I'm very much in the middle for some sexual intercourse.

Listen, this has been fantastic. It's been great seeing you.

Listen, when I first joined this hospital, I was strictly solo. You were the first real buddy I ever had.

Look at him.

Look at the pictures on the glass.

Look at this fucker. Move.

Look at this.

Look at what she's doing.

Look running away.

Look what we've done.

Look who it is, everyone. It's only me.

Look who it is, everyone. It's only me.

Look, 2 werewolves as bold as brass, and I could even sense one behind me.

Look, I was thinking.

Look, it's Jim. He's been struck by the mist, though he's still alive. Unbelievable as that seems.

Look, Mr we're not interested in your tricks and trinkets.

Look, you can say that all night. I'm going to be wearing this hat.

Look.

Looks like anyone could be a vampire in Manhattan.

Looks like Timothy is going to be getting a curse and the electronic post.

Louise Fancy egging soup. I'm free this evening.

Love. The man formerly known. As last love.

Luckily for him, I am no stranger to the song and dance of the courtroom.

Mainly representing myself for crimes such as soliciting and pornography.

Make sure you look after my wife.

Makes me completely unrecognisable.

Makes no sense to me either that I would fall in love with volleyball.

Making love.

Man, you better believe it.

Martini, an aristocrat. I like that.

May I approach the bitch?

May I show you something?

Maybe a boyfriend?

Maybe I'll do that later.

Maybe take a class here, talk about a rip off.

Maybe we should keep this under our hats. Then he vampires find out about this, then it what's wrong?

Me, I'm pretty handy at the old shadow puppetry.

Means catch him in the act.

Meet me at my heart.

Men, women, women, men, women, women, women, women, men, men, men, men.

Might this be him?

More like Maricella, mistress of the shitty seats.

More positive.

Morning Dad, morning thoughts and read.

Mr Rodriguez, could I have a self-portrait photograph?

Must be my birthday.

My aunt lives in Scotland, she says. It's quite nice.

My darling, don't explode, but are you quite sure they're the real rat pack that you met years ago?

My darling, I have found something that will have our orgy talked about for centuries.

My darling, will you tell him to turn that off?

My dearest najia, you must be deucedly crossed with me for my subterfuge.

My father was a member of a club called the Sherwood Club of London.

My foolproof human disguise for whenever the shit hits the wind.

My hands.

My hypnosis powers are buggered, so I have to look elsewhere to secure Gizmo's travel money.

My jalopy.

My late friend Walt Whitman said to me. So you better put that you're saying.

My Lord, thank you, father.

My Lords and ladies of. Jury.

My love, please don't tell me you believe in this bullshit.

My lovely came in through the window, took my life. That's making me the vampire you see before you now.

My magic flute works.

My name is Jackie. Jackie dead Turner.

My name is Lazlo and I was not going to come to this orgy this evening.

My name is Lazlo, Craven's wife.

My name? It's Professor Roger del Salvo.

My wife comes from the kind of town that believes in all this kind of superstitious nonsense.

My wife has everything she needs with me.

My wolf piss.

Nadia is my wife.

Nah.

Namely, my mother's vulva.

Nando wants to kill Sean because he's got the brain scrambles.

Nando wants you to put that on, turn into him, pull this woman called Meg, and then come back.

Nando, he's dead.

Nando's behaviour has been very odd of late.

Nandor. There's a fucking ghost on the front lawn.

Naturally.

Naughty ohh snap snap indeed, Donald.

Nay.

Neighbors returning to Channel 5 this autumn don't miss it every weekday at 5:30 PM.

Never accept a Tau from an Italian.

Never looked him in the eyes anyway, so I'm certainly not going to start now. Get the door open.

Never once realizing that I was a fucking vampire.

New York City.

Nice to meet you, Jim the vampire.

Nice. They feel like curves. She's a beaute.

Nn.

No dice. Liz would never make it. The batteries and these fans are spent. I think they were warped.

No further questions, my love.

No idea. I was raised by my nanny, who used to make me learn Latin in the nude. I quite liked it.

No it doesn't.

No one here knows I'm a vampire apart from the people I've drained and killed. But they're dead now, so that problem is pretty much solved itself.

No, hang on, I can give you a lift if you like.

No, he's excellent. But the dark art of ripping you off.

No, I got you.

No, I think we should definitely investigate.

No, I think you're talking about lying.

No, I'm calling from my car.

No, I'm guessing that will be closed this time of night.

No, I'm not coming. Let go of the lid.

No, I'm serious. You just insulted me. I'm in 5th gear. We should kill them.

No, I'm sure we can help you fit in.

No, I'm. I'm starting to think it could be a trap.

No, if we want him, we'll have to whack everybody.

No, it didn't.

No, it is absolutely not a cool place to live.

No, it's a fucking urban myth, like ghosts or large penises.

No, it's not. It's about time he eats shit.

No, let's use him as a pawn.

No, my darling, you need to calm down. You're feeling murder.

No, my dear, I'm not that familiar.

No, my sweet said reply. I've gone hard.

No, no, nando. That's the stairmaster. The Master of the stairs.

No, no, no, no, my darling, I swear that had nothing to do with me.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no. That's no.

No, no, no, no. This particular book.

No, no, no, no. You've misunderstood my dark.

No, no, no. But hang on. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We're not animals.

No, no, no. That's how I originally injured my back.

No, no, nothing to do with me.

No, she didn't.

No, that's my rabbit. That's my best one.

No, you bloody won't. We're not interested.

No, you can see better. Look on my face. I've got a fucking clue. The hell you are.

No, you won't. That curse can travel through the Internet. Sure is. Skip travel through that telephone.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. I'll see you later. I've still got a lot of work to do.

No. Two father wait.

Nonetheless, the idea came from your department, and as head of the department, it's your nuts on the block.

Nonsense.

Nor will I be punching in my e-mail address. I won't be talked into any kind of Best Buy membership card or charge card.

Not again.

Not at all. I feel fine.

Not at all. There's plenty of scat on the wall. This is the 20th century, after all.

Not bad at all.

Not dead I owe. I shall pay it and I shall pay it in full.

Not even got that award off, those feminists, the one shaped like the ice cream fellow.

Not everything, Liz.

Not in this instance, my darling.

Not much more to say.

Not now. I mean in your own time, my darling. No immediate hurry.

Not only even particularly like the fella, I mean, I can't stand the man, but I'm proud. To call him my friend.

Not only that, you can sing real damn good.

Not really, cock.

Not so fast. They'll chat.

Not to me.

Not tonight, Josephine. It's too messy. Easier if you just walk out.

Not true. He came with the house.

Not with all this Bible paper soundproofing that both.

Not without a fight, me old fruit.

Nothing all good.

Nothing, just taking care of some business.

Nothing, Sean. Everything's alright on this lawn.

Nothing. I like the end of that one. I just feel like we're trying to be too contemporary.

Nothing's changed since New York City.

Now go into the basement and fetch my witches skin hat.

Now hang on, what's the purpose of this propelled plastic spider?

Now I come to you with a warning.

Now I gleefully assumed that that would be some kind of circle jerk.

Now I'm guessing you're wondering, why are those fellas on this boat?

Now I'm ready. Now I am ready.

Now if I had my magic flute, this would all be over in 2 minutes.

Now it's speaking in tongues.

Now look what you've done.

Now sung in every schoolyard across the land.

Now that rock is beginning to ring a bell.

Now that you've experienced the pleasure of flying, enjoy the marvel of Transfiguration.

Now you hold on a minute, sugar tips.

Now you remember the precise moment took our life. I was on the verge of a sexual climax.

Now you see it can be one of two things. One, mercurial ZEPHRA 2 is a farrago of gases, possibly from a peat bog.

Now you're taking a risk there, cause my wife hates Gayle more than anyone in the world.

Now, if you capture these and add them together using yellow Biles from a plague victim, you've got what looks like a ghost.

Now, my Lords, ladies and gentlemen.

Now, my wife and I have not a horse notion what any of that means.

Now, the first porno film I ever made was called the Adventures of a very Randy vampire.

Now.

Now.

Now. I'm assuming that there is a cat in the cage to my right. Excellent.

Objection.

Occupado.

Of course.

Of power knows no bounds.

Off he goes, that chap’s tireless isn’t he?

Off you fuck.

Oh for fucks sake, another one.

Oh my darling, am I pleased to see you.

Oh no wait, I got this guy coming over to watch a DVD. Another time maybe. OK. Ohh. And some chicken wings please. Thank you.

Oh no, not my Bunny look.

Oh shit, one word springs to mind, but.

Oh yes, let's do that.

Oh yes. Well, I'm quite keen on that idea. Let that be known.

Oh, for fucks.

Oh, it's you. It's sanchia. It's about dad.

Oh, Joey.

Oh, lookout. Marital aid.

Oh, Oh yes.

Oh, right.

Oh, that's a nice voice.

Oh, that's my good lady wife, Nargi. Don't think she'd like you to see that, but who gives a fuck? Beautiful.

Oh, this is a the toquerville lusty discharge pamphlet with discharge on it by the feel of it.

Oh, yes.

Oh, you're talking about the volleyball?

Oh.

Ohh cheeky prick.

Ohh fucking.

Ohh he he's moved on to the next World.

Ohh nice.

Ohh please. Do you know what the most beautiful thing in the world is? What fucking.

Ohh really.

Ohh shit and chanted twice in one evening, once with Sheila and then Judy from best buys.

Ohh shit, yeah. No my darling, I wouldn't be man enough.

Ohh uncover that now.

Ohh whoa whoa. Leave them to it my darling.

Ohh wow gizmo. I think we need one of these.

Ohh yeah me Baba Luba yeah.

Ohh yes.

Ohh, we're very much alike then. Could I sing you something?

Ohh.

Ohh.

Ohh. I'm sorry, but you were getting hysterical.

Ohps.

OK, I've gone a little bit too fast too soon.

OK, sailor, you fancy some? I'm in 5th gear. Don't mind if I do, right? Let's go.

OK, so like a string is a sweater.

OK, well, in future, why don't you speak to New York, find out exactly what they want from you. Otherwise you're just completely wasting my time.

OK.

OK.

OK. Thanks, Jen.

OK. You see the nature of the meetings has changed somewhat and it wouldn't be fair on you. There'd be a lot of catching up to do.

On their 100th birthday, they expire.

Once or twice, but they were dying. It was their last wish.

Only a bag of skin.

Open your mouth, good Lord. He's pulled his fangs out.

Or as Beethoven used to say. The Bush, valvin denish neiden. These bushes won't trim themselves.

Or is that meeting today Hells Bells. You go ahead. I'll be right there. I've just.

Or perhaps fuck that bat.

Orgy stuff.

Orgy stuff.

Otherwise it's certain dead.

Our neighbour Sean has kindly invited us to his for what he described as a boy's only night.

Our phone read. Get me read.

Out of respect for our good friend and host Sean.

Over my dead body.

Over these past two or 300 years, you have grown into a strong, bold, independent woman of the world.

Parting with the money was painful enough, but the electric pants I have to wear at work so I don't become aroused, they're also thankful.

Penny Porno is a room in town where men pay a cent to sit next to each other and whack off.

Perhaps we could come to some kind of arrangement.

Perhaps we should watch it.

Personally, I'm a man of science.

Petrol and coal.

Piece of piss.

Place, good lady. I know I came here earlier, but whatever I said and I don't remember, I wasn't myself.

Please be upstanding for Colin Robinson.

Plus, I find that kind of sentimental gesture fucking tawdry.

Plus, I think I've got a thing for green women.

Plus, that conversation about my homeland has given me the PIP.

Press the button, you doughnut.

Press the button.

Pretty close, my love.

Previously on this filmed documentary program or whatever the fuck this is supposed to be.

Proof of now but mine own delirium.

Pull down my trousers and do your job.

Pull down my trousers and do your job.

Put a coke in it. Colin Robinson will weak enough as it is.

Put that down. That's a wooden, stinky dickhead.

Quadraphonic Sound was a great gimmick, but I don't think the wider public gave a shit about that kind of detail.

Quite alright, Sean.

Quite grisly and intent.

Really, you smug bastard. What's behind your back?

Really.

Really.

Really. I do like a direct woman.

Really. I flew George Lucas in to see them as a treat.

Really. I mean wouldn't that be a bit difficult with your you?

Recently I was watching all of my porno films which are sexy and a turn on.

Reckon.

Relegated to the coffin in the basement.

Remember, no killing at this Super Bowl party.

Right, but it's not 7.1, that's what you're really saying.

Right, I'm off and don't even think about following me.

Right, I'm ready to wrap this up.

Right, right. Come on, don't fuck about. Get that in.

Right.

Right. Listen to me, Colin Robinson. She is a siren. It's her job to enchant you. You're not in love.

Right. This is gonna end badly. So what you need to do is cut the mikes, turn all the sound equipment off and put your fingers in your ears and do it now.

Right. Well, I don't think I'm quite ready yet.

Right. You ready to rock?

River, Atlantic City.

Roy Cohn, esquires, 169 sex positions.

Safe passage, Connor Robinson.

Safe passage, my darling.

Safe passage, Sir.

Safe. Fair.

Say no more.

Scatter away.

Scotch missed some thought was fairly racist. I didn't, to be honest.

Screw this, I'm flying. Who's with me? But.

Sean has been done in injustice and I won't stand for it.

See ya.

See you tomorrow.

See.

Seems like I overestimated our kinship. I'll have to take things up a notch.

Send us a postcard.

Send.

Serious, serious, serious.

Sex change operations, swearing in adverts.

Sexy. Sexy. Sexy.

Shady character, you see.

She also thinks goblins are real.

She does have a way with words, but sometimes those words drive me fucking insane.

She drained me of my blood. Giving me the curse of eternal life, thus making me a bloodthirsty creature of the night.

She opened a window to my soul and let the darkness in.

She ought to strangle you to death with your own sphincter muscle.

She said that my pornos were boring, which is an unbelievable reaction. I showed her a centuries worth of my pornos.

She smells like ice cold to the touch and it isn't very nice when you left alone, you let you treat you badly if you hang on the phone. Take. Put the pedal to the floor, cause you're heading for th...

She speaks the bullshit.

She tricked me with her witchcraft.

She's a good girl, dad. You're too hard on her.

She's angry, as women so often are.

She's half chicken.

She's lost interest. And she's off.

She's right. We can't go dressed like this. Will be laughed out of the place.

Shit band all that slow.

Shit, he's forgotten everything.

Shit, I'm going to need you to help me get it out of here.

Shit, you haven't signed his card.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit. I've got a free my fellow inmates. I made a gentleman's promise.

Shit. Shit. Look.

Should I give it a go?

Should we get on with?

Show me.

Show yourself.

Shut up, Colin Robinson. You're giving me the pit.

Shut up.

Shut up. I'm not talking to you, jogger, man.

Shut up. They want you to get out the way.

Shut up. You won't remember anything from the last five minutes.

Shut your mouth.

Silence and hark.

Silence to you.

Silent.

Simon the fucking devious.

Simon was always very jealous of this hat. I can't wait to see his face when I walk in.

Simon's HQ is this fantastic nightclub called the Sassy Cat Club in Manhattan.

Simple things come alive in my head.

Smash.

So a dually.

So be it.

So hold on. It's frank dead.

So how many of these have you actually sold?

So I left the UK and came here to the new world.

So I personally am very much looking forward to reconnecting.

So I went to investigate it. I threw back the curtain when I saw the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

So I went to investigate it. I threw back the curtain when I saw the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I was hypnotized.

So I'm in the devious, he thinks. I don't know what he's up to, but I do.

So I've been. Busy in my potting shed.

So it seems that the winding path of life has led me back to myself.

So it's her foot.

So it's me who's ending this conversation, not you.

So my sweet Angel. It is here that I bid you farewell.

So my techniques and my methods might be a bit old fashioned.

So now what I basically do is cut them off the tree and throw them on the floor.

So siren release him.

So that problem is pretty much solved itself.

So we found another one and she had an accident and she died.

So we played the seafaring song from 1792.

So we shall be honoured to attend.

So we shouldn't hypnotise.

So what am I looking for exactly?

So what blows you into town?

So what do we do? Wait till sunrise. How do we know that Sir Bob Geldof has that e-mail?

So what happened between you and this Renwick customer?

So whoa whoa whoa. What was that?

Some chaps left his calling card at Timothy at Circuit City stores.

Some might say around.

Some of Jackie Daytona's good naturedness has rubbed off on me.

Some of the most licentious and transgressive pornography I've ever clapped eyes on.

Some say I'm the king.

Some sort of homosexual department.

Some what?

Someone contact the village watcher woman.

Someone's played an awful prank. There's nothing here but gloomy pictures of morons.

Something like that.

Something supernatural you say that sounds bang up your alley, dad.

Sometimes I like to sketch someone as I'm talking to them.

Sorry about that. I'll chat.

Sorry for not taking you seriously, my darling.

Sorry I was. And Pedialyte stuff's worth its weight and gold where I come from.

Sorry I'm late having a shit bag of a day.

Sorry I'm late having a shit bag of a day.

Sorry, Baron, urgent matter. We must attend to it. Bye.

Sorry, I thought I'd written more, but I haven't.

Sorry, Thornton. Bad dream.

Sorry, yes, since he buggered off. Nothing much has changed though to be honest.

Sorry, you'll have to raise your hand otherwise I don't know who's talking.

Sounds like a regular wacko. A real son of a bitch.

Sounds like he's in distress. You better break the door down.

Speak for yourself. I'm as dry as a nun's Doo dah.

Speak up.

Speak, priest.

Speak.

Stay down, stay down, you fucking wanker.

Steaks and defensive thing he could bring to the house.

Still, one can only dream.

Stop doing what?

Stop talking.

Stop.

Stroke, stroke, stroke your cock are remaking stream merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily. Life could use more cream.

Stupid prick.

Submit to my dark power.

Suck on that.

Sunday, maybe?

Sure, whatever.

Take another one for your wife.

Take that, lollipop man.

Take the fucking hat.

Take the large one.

Talent show tomorrow here in the pub.

Talk about a ribbing, no?

Tell him to fuck off.

Tell me about it. You try and make it safely and economically. It's more sensible to buy from a reputable High Street retailer.

Tell me something is this hospital called saying crock of shit.

Tell us more about that.

Thank you.

Thanks all my money.

Thanks.

That accounts team. I had every last one of them.

That baby would be about 90 years old now.

That gaggle of human flotsam doesn't even belong on the sea.

That girl. This is the most beautiful girl I have ever known.

That girl's name. Yes, my darling. It's my name. It's your name, Nadia.

That never came out in hardback, which means it's a fake.

That rock there.

That sounds like you've just made it up.

That thing needs to be gone.

That voice, it beckons me.

That was a bit of luck.

That was him.

That was too fucking close for comfort.

That would be a humiliating end for you.

That, my boy, sounds like slumber.

That'll do nicely.

That'll do the business.

That's a lot of porn.

That's giving me an idea.

That's God damn these electric sex pants.

That's my bloody hat. That you in there, Simon? Well, I'm going to take my hat back, you crispy piece of shit.

That's Nancy Reagan at the end. It's a bit untidy.

That's not 1000 years.

That's right. I thought it high time that we give the IT department the attention they deserve. Where are mark and Ray?

That's slightly insulting, but probably true, though I can go again.

That's the most beautiful song I've ever heard.

That's the one what we'll do.

That's the one.

That's the sex net get that out-of-the-box and attach it to the ceiling.

That's true.

That's very kind of you and I'll just say that and I know we haven't got on over the years but. Nope, that's it.

That's what it's called.

That's worse than before.

The adventures of a very Randy vampire.

The art of Bush manipulation.

The Baron has charged us with the task of taking power over the new world.

The Baron is a firm believer that vampires should rule the world.

The Baron is definitely dead.

The Baron obviously turned my wife into a vampire, and she turned me into a vampire.

The Big city dickhead.

The bigger, the better.

The British are a pack of classist wankers.

The chauffeur is the murderer a year.

The common man, whether he be Neanderthal troglodyte, they all deserve their day in court.

The decision was unanimous.

The dog chewed it off last Christmas Eve.

The Duchess and Gasmer. Yes, I remember. Yes, of course you do.

The dying has begun.

The fucking vampire.

The full display.

The Games uphold champ.

The gentleman's debt repaid in full.

The glass ceiling is now a glass floor. The women are floating above it and the men are just looking up at them.

The good evening to you too.

The human animal uses many varied tools to attract a sex partner, crispy mint thins, tiny pottery, gifts and promises of housing.

The kaleidoscopic entwining of limbs and genitalia.

The Lazarro woman's demanded proof of my ability as an ally, so here goes.

The man is a total prick. He's nowhere near as funny as he thinks he is.

The man knows his cars.

The men are weighed in shit, toss shit, eat shit, juggle shit, swimming shit, shitty men, shitty coppers.

The more the merrier.

The most beautiful thing I've ever heard. It might be the first time that I met my love. That's how I know that this is true love.

The motel hmm.

The place would be a fucking bloodbath.

The pornos were superb.

The power grows stronger in him by the night.

The previous owner, he mysteriously disappeared because I killed him.

The problem is, though, we don't remember how he died because we were absolutely messed up on drug blood.

The prospect of immortality can give some vampires the shits they hate. The idea of staring down life eternal tunnel.

The risk will blow your mind.

The streak of piss with the case.

The thing is, he's got this irritating habit of giving you orders just at the moment of climax. So you're both there in the moment, and then he barks an order. You're herb. What?

The thing is, one of the wait staff was still in the building, so I had to set fire to another building to pay for his funeral.

The transformation into a bat is probably the most important thing a vampire can do.

The vampiric Council confiscated my beloved jalopy to punish me for transporting minors across state lines.

The very first time Colin and I were in the Vampiric Council library, he began searching for information about energy vampires and how they're made and where he came from.

Then ask me to explain how it works, cause it's unexplainable.

Then I deeply apologize for the Stairmaster. It's all his fault.

Then the answer is no.

Then why are you doing a wee wee walk?

There are some in the community that believe that vampires should rule the world. One such person is the Baron.

There are, it seems, others in our world whose future is far less certain.

There certainly is.

There is no honour in defeat. I've never paid the piper in my life.

There it isn't.

There we are, mother, you're looking beautiful again.

There we are.

There we goes.

There we goes. Take care of business. Ohh.

There you are.

There's a man who enjoys his work.

There's more Ravens. They're giving me the shits.

There's no such thing as ghost.

There's no such thing as vampire killers, you knob Lord.

There's nobody there.

There's nothing we can do about it.

There's some genitalia on show there that would make a human go. What is that exactly?

There's somebody at the door.

These interests that you have, do they involve the fairer sex?

These people are shysters.

These really are the last days of Sodom.

They didn't even care that I was a vampire.

They don't give a fuck about whores and horing my darling.

They know what a fucking siren is. We just gotta get out of here.

They lack one thing and one important thing, and that one thing is love.

They should never have added sound because pop music and people talking all the way through it.

They travel from Europe to the United States once every five years.

They're cadaver, man.

They're not nomicon. Everything a chap and chap Hess would need to know about Felicia.

They're obsessed with the upsell.

They're trying to frighten us, but it won't work.

Thing is, I had a bit of a knee trembl.

Thing is, I play anything, uh, a Nazi. Anything at all. I never. I don't think I'd ever kiss another man. Um. You know, not even for the, you know, the big boys.

Think Gizmo might be on to something?

This box. Contains all my werewolf traps.

This fool is the carpet pigeon. He's hanging chest rug mesmerises his target and indicates to her that he is quite literally gagging for his grip.

This hand is not cursed.

This happened in here.

This has all been very interested and everything, and I've loved every minute, but there's this one thing that you don't know about me. I got 29 dog shits in my pockets.

This is a fight that has been fought with honour for 1000. I say 1000 years.

This is a huge honor for us, but like all Hugh honors, it's a pain in the nutsack.

This is a love song to my wife, Nadja.

This is a Swiss.

This is a travesty.

This is a wretched world that we find ourselves in, full of cruel, disgusting people.

This is bullshit.

This is exactly what I want to be doing right now.

This is from all of us.

This is the first year we have made the cut.

This is the most beautiful thing I've ever read. It's better than Shakespeare.

This is the same thing in fish form.

This is the way we talk in Tucson, AZ.

This is your big day, bud.

This isn't about the hat.

This light box has cursed us.

This may old chap, is a bridge too far.

This next? Of the fellow that my wife and I live with.

This one I'm the most proud of. This is the Bunny simply because it ended up exactly the same as I had in my head.

This therapist, huh? That doesn't surprise me.

This this fee.

This time the visitor is a female and they get straight down to business.

This trio of ginger hatted pigeons are trying to impress this cheap piece of fluff.

This was banned for 60 years.

This.

Those who you trust cannot be trusted.

Though some don't like to admit it.

Though you wouldn't want him as your barrister.

Thought of going in a church church. Makes me nervous to say the word.

Thoughts.

Tighter.

Time to get the fuck out of here.

To attract partners for sex, many have developed elaborate courtship rituals, or courtilles.

To be honest with you, I couldn't care less.

To plan the whole thing.

To recover that she's long because I'll ejaculate straight through.

To the boudoir.

To the games up, you bastard.

To the land of opportunity where men, and I'm told some women, can be kings of their own castle.

To the scholar of the printed page, this place is Valhalla.

To think of all the deserters he shot in the head with this.

To think, when we met, you were so worried that you came from Iran.

Tofa.

Tomorrow.

Too stylish?

Touché.

[email protected].

Trip, Sorry man, did I get you?

True. I went there two months back and there was a piece of shit stuck to the seat.

Try that one.

Turn that off.

Turns out, we're going to be office buddies.

Um. Let's not get bogged down in the details.

Umm.

Umm. Something work related?

Un re.

Undercover of night.

Understand. Or get this fucking 8 body to work.

Unhand me, you bloody person.

United Kingdom United Ding Dong more like.

Unlike Pidgeons, these colonial hopping dogs are a dowdy, sullen crowd who don't go in for displays or rituals.

Usually I can't wait to get away from a woman once I've ejaculated.

Vampires have hidden amongst humans for millennia.

Vampires have huge respect for owls. One, they're nocturnal to their predators, and three, they don't give a hoot where they dump their scat.

Vampires. And werewolves.

Very animalistic, acrobatic stuff, you might say.

Very clunky, right?

Very, very erotic.

Victim began.

Victoria. But I thought you were dead.

Wa Ha Ha

Wait a minute. Today is the anniversary of Douglas is sons death. Maybe he's using the side had to fill the void left by his dead son.

Was that Hitler?

Watch this.

Watcher.

Watching you stretch your young body across that fireplace, you know who you remind me of? Me.

We all know you've had a coach class trip to hell and back with your dead son, but you've got to get over it. That thing's dangerous. Can't you see that?

We are in there now.

We are your only friends in the world. Why subject us to this hell?

We can do this all night.

We can go wherever you want. Monten****, Coke, Azure, you name it.

We can't the stairmasters in the.

We could assassinate the king.

We could put on some music. I could give you a back rub, see what happens.

We could put on some music. I could give you a back rub, see what happens.

We don't even know each other's names.

We don't miss that, do we?

We fucked up.

We gotta go.

We have Anubis, the Egyptian God of death.

We have total Dominion from here to here.

We killed some of them at the end.

We knew. Here.

We know that you know our secret.

We might have floated the idea of murdering him, but we didn't do it, did we?

We must start quickly.

We need 10 e-mail addresses pronto Tonto or its what?

We need to get rid of him, and when I say get rid of him, I mean.

We shall call this night operation. Accidentally kill the Baron.

We should investigate.

We simply floated the idea.

We thought you were dead.

We went to Staten Island. He went to Mannahatta.

We were just saying what a beautiful house you had.

We weren't invited. It was a work trip.

We would never process around like this.

We'll explain this. Shit, he's taking it up a notch.

We're about to Make Love when she turned into this hideous, leathery bat thing.

We're in a sewer. Quite why we're in a sewer, I've no idea.

We're not even tied up.

We're not gonna kill him. It goes against our non killing agreement.

We're out of you 2 like a glass of water.

We've been here since 1861. At least our families have.

We've waited 500 years when invite to this, you know.

Welcome to Dark Place, Liz.

Well done, and I'll send it to him. One step forward to unforeseen fortunes. One step away from getting our guts ripped out. What do you say?

Well done, nando. You certainly frightened them.

Well said, my darling. Well said. You are a tough act to follow, but indeed I must.

Well then you might be faced with the purple screaming Henrys or worse still, half man half madness.

Well then you need to make one up.

Well then, you'll be pleased to know that we've raised enough money to send the girls to state.

Well, actually, yes, I believe you can.

Well, dig deeper. Can't remember where we buried the bastard.

Well, don't appear as a mist on the lawn then, you prick.

Well, even when she's not singing.

Well, fancy seeing you here, Baron.

Well, he didn't like that.

Well, he moves through the sewers, so I was thinking we should form a shit squad.

Well, here's the thing. I was on the verge of fulfillment, yet I couldn't quite finish.

Well, his stomach's not gonna repair itself, is.

Well, honk doesn't sound like a horn, it just sounds like a fella going honk.

Well, how about the whole thing? You can't just pretend to be a human. You're not Lord.

Well, I can't.

Well, I think you need to do some research because not only is this turban accurate to the ancient civilizations of Persia, it also happens to be a gift from my good friend the Maharaja Duleep Singh.

Well, I'll tell you something. If you want this hat, you'll have to cut my head off.

Well, I'm going with you are.

Well, I'm in disguise. I can't fly, so I've got myself one of these.

Well, I'm not very good. I've no Truman Capote.

Well, I'm the boss's head honcho, El Numero Uno, Mr. Big, the godfather, Lord of the Rings, the Bourne identity. Taxi driver jaws.

Well, I've heard everything.

Well, if you can sort out a concert, we might turn up.

Well, it can count me outbreed. It's all voodoo nonsense as far as this case is concerned.

Well, it's a good old fashioned murder mystery really.

Well, look at that.

Well, make quick, quick, quick.

Well, taking my shoes off for anyone.

Well, that changes pretty much fucking everything.

Well, that simple, I know exactly what to do.

Well, that sounds marvelous.

Well, that would be bullshit then, wouldn't it, my darling? I couldn't give a tinker's fig. People die all the time.

Well, that'll stop him.

Well, this chap has the hair of a paedophile.

Well, this is unmanageable. I used to have the best hair in the hospital.

Well, we literally did. We killed some of them at the end.

Well, why don't I? New watch. That's kinky.

Well, you don't go to the hog roast for the coleslaw.

Well, you know what? I've come to love those bucks. I love the popcorn, the squeak of the tennis shoes on the court.

What a charming addition.

What a heavenly voice and a beautiful personality.

What a lovely little nibble she would be.

What about this chap?

What am I holding? A crock of shit.

What are you doing with those?

What are you doing?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

What are you up to?

What bloody hat?

What Clarion call is that? The clanging chimes of doom.

What could he want?

What did you think I said?

What do I think about what?

What do you think, I'm gonna let him go? You must be out of your mind.

What do you want?

What do you want?

What don't you like about that?

What else do you want to know?

What else have we got? Good and bugs. Ohh yes vanaria, that's an original.

What ever happened to Sweet Daisy Lou?

What happens in that is I'm sat there surrounded, I think, by women. The steam subsides and I realise I'm actually surrounded by chaps.

What I do sometimes get a tin of soup, heat it up, poach an egg in it, serve that with a pork pie sausage roll.

What in God's house is that?

What is all this stuff? Is this stuff any good or is it just shit?

What is that disgusting putrid fried smell?

What is that it?

What is this song?

What is this?

What Noise?

What saved me about time to my bed chamber and slip into some informal evening wear.

What say we conduct our own orgy upstairs? A two person orgy.

What the blanks? This? Is this right here?

What the blazes?

What the fuck are you doing? It's dark.

What the fuck did you just say?

What the fuck have you got in your hand?

What the fuck is it?

What the fuck is that?

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

What the hell am I doing?

What the hell are they?

What the hell do you think I've been doing?

What the hell is going on?

What the hell is that?

What the work experience, boy?

What them?

What they did object to, however, was the fact that I fell in love and eventually married the most beautiful, simple girl.

What to walk through a ship pipe, please.

What was him?

What was the name of that song?

What you don't understand is the stigma attached to throwing a poor orgy.

What you're about to see are the popery representations of the builders of some of my favorite prostitutes and women I have love.

What?

What?

What's all this mess and what are you doing up there?

What's crawled up your crap?

What's she talking about?

What's the problem?

What's the? Oh my. What the fuck?

What's this shit?

What's this shit?

What's this?

What's? Hang on a second. You want me to put that on turn into you? Pull this young lady called Meg. Yes, Meg. Make Love to her. Six ways till Chelsea come back here. High fives all round.

When a vampire is depressed, the best treatment is to avoid them at all costs.

When I took over Lucky Brews Bar and Grill.

When I turn into a bat, there's no real skill to it at all. I just shout bat.

When I was a Captain, life was the best. I knew 1000 sea shanties. I was nut deep in prostitutes, so fights every other day as much gold as you could shake a shitty stick.

When I was a child I loved juicy red apples. Now they just smell like shit and decay.

When I was a human man, I had rosy cheeks, yet in between those cheeks there was never a smile.

When is he coming, exactly?

When really worked up, they reveal their eye-catching trouser.

When we Make Love, we fly.

When we Make Love, we fly.

When you better go and answer it.

Where are you going with?

Where are you going with?

Where did you get them from?

Where industrialists can rub shoulders with chimney sweeps.

Where is that thing?

Where is the ravenous little monster?

Where the fuck am I?

Where?

Where's nadja?

Where's that clown off to?

Whether it's a 3 way plunk box and one sax is metallic clarinet, but the chin grinders win piano.

Which I found out later.

Which is ironic, because he doesn't have one.

Which leads me on to the fairer sex.

Which one?

Who actually are weak and defenseless.

Who am I thinking of?

Who are these people who are always paging and what's the deal with pager?

Who are you talking to, my darling?

Who calls the Craven's worth?

Who cares? Come on, let's go.

Who gives a shit?

Who is that?

Who need protection and care.

Who or what the blazes?

Who the fuck are you?

Who the fuck is that?

Who the hell gave you permission to monkey around with my precious volume?

Who would you say is the most powerful member of that group?

Who?

Who's this, my darling?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I say. Oh, Jack, that's how familiar.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That you never told me you could sing like that.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What kind of doubt sorcery is this?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What in Hell's House was that?

Whoa, whoa. Look at him go.

Whoa.

Whoa. Are you all right?

Whoa. Who the fuck are you, you cunt?

Whose existence is even more terrifying and mysterious than our own.

Why are we meeting in the fancy room and not in the library?

Why aren't they wearing cap?

Why can't you use a fucking door like anyone else?

Why did you invite the prick?

Why don't you come and sit next to me and we can expire together.

Why don't you get fucked?

Why don't you just bring a horse in here?

Why don't you just delay your super slumber a couple of days you wouldn't Miss Colin Robinson's birthday?

Why more briefcases?

Why the hell would you do that? Why would you walk home when you could turn into a bat?

Why won't she be mine?

Why won't she be mine? I wish I was more attractive like daglas.

Why would he lie about that?

Why would you, bleeding horses?

Wild love.

With blue jeans and my toothpick.

With their brilliant plumage, fancy footwork and noisy anal clackers.

Would you do me the honour of accompanying me to my bed?

Would you like a drink, old timer?

Wouldn't want to be him.

Wow, a gun.

Wow, Mama.

Wow, my grandfather's old service revolver.

Wow, my momma.

Y.

Yeah, and as cold as a witches tip.

Yeah, assume the position.

Yeah, but you assume that his first name could be his last name.

Yeah, but you're not an actor.

Yeah, great.

Yeah, I bet you can.

Yeah, I bet you wouldn't.

Yeah, I can hear you, Clem Fandango.

Yeah, I can hear you, Clem Fandango. What do you want?

Yeah, I can hear you, Clem. Fandango. Where's that other prick?

Yeah, I can. Well, did you just say Clem? Oh, Fandango? So you've added an HTML now. You don't think you enough of a prat already?

Yeah, I know who you are.

Yeah, I say. Mr Sinatra, forgive me, my mind's a little foggy, but last time I looked, you weren't Chinese.

Yeah, I'll be there momentarily.

Yeah, I've got interest too. Hmm. It's important.

Yeah, I've told you so many times, but I've never told you why.

Yeah, maybe you won't.

Yeah, must have had high blood pressure. Should probably see a physician.

Yeah, no shit, my beauty.

Yeah, plus he was crawling on the ceiling, which is odd.

Yeah, that wasn't me.

Yeah, that's him.

Yeah, uncanny. Bugger off.

Yeah, wasn't very cool. We'll we'll make sure we look after you people.

Yeah, well then keep your finger on the fucking button.

Yeah, well, we might be in luck. We don't have a magic flute. We got one of these.

Yeah, whereas your meat hands, I'm convinced, would give me the traction for full sexual release.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you our new head of hiring and firing, Ben Genderson.

Yeah. Thanks for clearing that up, Clem.

Yeah. The thing is, I had a bit of a knee trembler with Lilith some time ago and Nadia found out and put me on her shit list.

Yeah. You think I can't see you laughing in there? Yeah, you, you malnourished pimp with your World War One facial hair and your sister's clothes.

Yes, have a touch. Adea.

Yes, I am. I would never ever, ever, ever, ever go back to England.

Yes, I can hear you, Clem Fandango, even though I'm buried alive in a fucking coffin.

Yes, I can hear you, Clem Fandango.

Yes, I can hear you, Clem Fandango.

Yes, I can hear you. Can you hear me?

Yes, I did, Kevin.

Yes, I did.

Yes, I lied a bit, actually. It's from there to there.

Yes, I mean you look the dogs knackers.

Yes, it is cool, I thought.

Yes, my darling, that's exactly what it is. Ghost ectoplasm.

Yes, this is very bad.

Yes, this town's full of talent.

Yes, well, this is our crew. There's Nando, my good lady wife Nigel, who you clearly know, and my good self. We like to keep things slim.

Yes, yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes, yes.

Yes, yes. Yes, yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes, yes.

Yes, your honor.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. I am a surprising man.

You again you blasted.

You again, you bastard.

You and he were buddies, weren't you?

You are a fucking star, aren't you?

You are. Well, that's handy cause I'm not and I'm banned, which is why it's been impounded.

You bet.

You betcha.

You better hit the bricks before I put my foot up your ass.

You can do some impersonation.

You can sling your hook. Fuck me. Unbelievable.

You can't win.

You conned us, you slippery bastard.

You crispy piece of shit.

You desecrated my vulva garden.

You did that.

You don't mind if I join you, do you?

You down? Strong.

You ever love a monkey, Liz?

You fuck off, you bald prick.

You fucking didn't.

You get where I'm going with this?

You gotta go and answer the darn tootin door.

You gotta hit the bricks before I put my foot up your ass.

You gotta keep notes as I'm talking, otherwise it'll all go to shit.

You had enough, old man.

You have a lot of nerve disturbing me in my garden. Pruning.

You have to wear a Cape in there.

You have truly grown to love this Township, so I have read it of some motor bicycle criminals.

You hit me with a woman's hand, you Midwestern floozy.

You know this. I made a precious vow never to go back there again.

You know what, I think we could all use a bit of Jackie Daytona time and again.

You know who the real losers are in all this? The girls volleyball team, that's who.

You know why?

You know, there's one thing I do want to say. Just one thing. That I.

You know, we could just.

You like Scotch food, Liz. I know little place we can go.

You like that?

You may speak dark shade.

You may think you are, you dumb fuck, but you're not.

You mean you might be killed?

You might say.

You name it, I sailed it.

You need to fucking stop talking about the sea.

You need to keep your voice down, otherwise that thing will hear us.

You really need to get here.

You remember the night you officially died, I presume. Now I remember it well.

You see this hockey match, we played a game exactly like that at Eaton. Differences. We didn't play with the puck. We played with a cock.

You see, there's various levels of over hypnosis. If it's not too serious, it's what's called weak brain. If it's slightly worrying, it's called thoughtless sallies. And if it's a fucking nightmare...

You seem to forget that I am the tempo king.

You seen any decent skirt around here?

You shut the fuck up, Clem Fandango and you made-up name.

You shut your mouth or so help me God, I'll punch your lights out.

You start crying.

You stay there, I'll come to you.

You staying there and I'll go and find someone to mend that fucked up brain of yours.

You that computer, man. Fix my pants.

You think it's all boring?

You took it by force from me.

You took my heart like no one.

You turned it brown and wizen.

You wait here. That happy appears grabbing.

You wake to my good lady wife sees this.

You wanna know a story about England and the English way?

You want me to go for it?

You want me to make the sound of a horse?

You want me to sit on my ass all day?

You want me to sit on my ass all day? I think I can handle that.

You want some more? Yeah. Well, fuck you.

You what?

You will remember nothing.

You will succumb to my dark power. And you will undo your latch and free me.

You win.

You won't remember anything about how you attempted to seduce me just now.

You, my darling, have the high firm ass of an Irish Derby winner.

You'll do that, and in the meantime, I think you should just recall the last 100 years worth of fun and friendship.

You'll never guess where this is going.

You're a very sweet girl, but it never would have worked. One, I've married two. I'm a vampire.

You're an idiot.

You're cold, Jack.

You're fetching the ginger ale for his tummy.

You're going round the back.

You're going to help us, Colin Robinson.

You're going to let him get away with it?

You're kidding.

You're kidding. Oh, that's werewolf piss.

You're my sweet baby.

You're not lying, Jesus Christ. What the hell is this? The Bible?

You're not the vampiric council.

You're right, Sean.

You're too late. He's gone.

You've heard a few things over the past few days, none of which cast me in a particularly favorable light. Stories of expensive sex tapes. Rumors of me killing my first wife.

Your average American Yankee Doodle dandy.

Your foot.

Your Honour, I object. There's a brilliant bit coming up.

Your shepherd will be wondering where the hell you are.

Your turn.

Yum, Yum, Yum. He was delicious.

1.

8:30 tonight.

23 Skidoo or should I say 69 skiddoo?

123 silver bullets.

200 year old peekaboo Cape. The idea being you walk into the orgy, you announce yourself. Men do that.

あー。 ハハハ。

ああ。

ああ。

ええ？

ええ？

ほぼ。