Good Morning, Vietnam Soundboard Edit

A bar brawl that's one cronauer

A bird

A conviction on a charge of treason against the united states carries with it penalties kinda on the stiff side if you know what I mean

A friend

A khaki eclipse

A little conference here wilk a little conference time out everyone

A little of this whoo whoo whoo

A little too young for you

A lot of people went to the mat for you

A man does not refer to pat boone as a beautiful genius if things are all right

A man with limp damaged hair but nevertheless a fireball

A very well hung chihuahua

Absolutely not

Actually it's a ray conniff featurette three maybe four back to back ray conniff classics

Actually what I am sir is your armed forces radio saigon assistant who's in charge of orientation and billeting of enlisted personnel and company clerk

Adrian

Adrian cronauer gis a wacky and welcome addition

Adrian cronauer is on temporary assignment and i'll be filling in until he arrives hopefully sometime this morning

Adrian cronauer is on temporary assignment but boy do I have a surprise for you

Adrian it's not going exactly well there's a water buffalo jackknifed up there

Adrian take care of yourself

Affirmative sir

Affirmative sir good

Afrs radio is owned and operated by the united states government and operates on an assigned carrier frequency of 540 at 749 megahertz

Afvn better than afvd which means you have to get a quick shot

Again we've got our friend from military intelligence

Aha! earl oh you again no more fighting okay

Ahem excuse me

Airman cronauer

Airman cronauer requesting you to elaborate sir

Airman you know the rules

All of a sudden well I got drunk all of a sudden I went for a tattoo next thing you know i'm on a fucking truck what happened

All right

All right all right cool

All right gentlemen I don't know oh my god these lips my god they're moving i'm gonna flap my eyebrows to death

All right guys let's say goodbye to the radio star! we're out of here

All right in saigon today according to official sources nothing actually happened

All right let's see

All right this is adrian cronauer i'm on at 6 00 and again at 4

All right where are you from

All right! thank you

All the news that's new and approved by the u s army the sweetest smelling army in the world

Also elizab queen elizabeth liz elizabeth taylor elizabeth taylor

Also gina lollobrigida has been declared the italian national mountain range

Also the pope decided today to release vatican related bath products an incredible thing yes it's the new pope on a rope that's right pope on a rope wash with it go straight to heaven

Am I being fairly clear

Am I being fairly clear (2)

American personnel can check out a book in ku bai da nang phung tao saigon bien hoa and san treng

An incredible coincidence

An loc and cronauer would definitely be going along

An loc his pass say an loc

An loc shit

And as far as polkas they are a much maligned musical taste

And don't say that the weather is the same all the time here because it's not in fact it's 2 degrees cooler today than yesterday

And for trusting you is the best of the gently of what you say of never to be for both the same and another

And I literally think that you owe it to all of them to get your ass back on the air

And i'd like to get to know all of you by having you write down your name address your home and work phone on a piece of paper and passing it forward

And i'm not used to girls being that quiet unless they're medicated

And i'm stupid enough to save your bullshit life at an loc

And if you do and if you do

And if you do happen to speak with him please be polite and to the point at all times

And my older brother who be 29 years old he dead

And now an item of special note

And now direct from crete welcome the silky smooth sound of airman adrian cronauer

And now here are the headlines

And perhaps some night we could maybe get together and swap humorous stories for fun yeah

And stop calling them gals cowgirls are called gals those are gorgeous french vietnamese b girls

And the stones oh you like mick jagger

And the troops they love him

And there's a man who's screaming out to be made fun of

And this is just radio

And this one is brought to you by our friends at the pentagon remember the people who brought you korea

And we wish you good luck and success

And well comedy is a kind of hobby of mine

And what about jimmy wah's

And which marx brother would that be private zeppo

And who gave anyone permission to program modern music

And yet this boy can get in and out without a scratch

And you have to get on the air

And you wanna take the ball

And you you are not funny but you are a maniac and you'd better start changing your life

Andy williams perry como and certain ballads by mr frank sinatra

Antics damn it comedy of errors like the keystone kops falling down

Any food on this street that doesn't give you diarrhea

Anything! just play it loud okay

Anyway he's the man that you don't want to aggravate

Anyway there's this guy from the 1st battalion 2nd infantry who swore that he could get him naked photographs of the actor

Are asked to drop a card to major gerald kleiner over at the 5th

Are you always this happy

Are you crazy I might

Are you planning sir to take some of the marijuana home back to the united states how would you do that by plane by helicopter and also by automobile

Arf! easy girl easy

Arranging rakes by sizes for my mom in the garage

As I leave vietnam today there is no doubt certainly in my mind whether the vietcong will be defeated and that this war will be won

As soon as possible

Ask for the books by author title and subject and your selections will be mailed to you

At ease

At ease (2)

At ease hell we already are

Attention shoppers people people settle

Ba muy ba beer best beer in vietnam ba muy ba beer only beer in vietnam

Baby help me please

Back again

Basically it's hotter than a snake's ass in a waggon round up

Basically we talk hey man what's happening

Be my guest

Beach boys those were guys

Because basically I believe that that man is a misunderstood genius

Big fucking deal

Bikes we'll buy bikes

Black man's going it's just for the tip that's all I need is the tip

Bob fliber!

Bob likes a big room sir

Bob what do you do

Bookworms headquarters support activities saigon operates libraries at six locations in the republic of vietnam

Boston

Boston you know who sang the song my guy

Break the goddamn door down

Britain imposed an oil embargo on rhodesia today after that country's unilateral declaration of independence

Brother striker thank you brother striker

Bullshit

Bullshit! listen no more games okay

But can you tell me what it feels like

But facts are facts

But he left a farewell message for all you guys out there still sweating it out in the fields

But hey I like the class so i'm gonna stay

But I can easily play an occasional gary lewis record

But I warn you you not like it when you get there you say it ridiculous

But if you toy with me i'll burn you so bad you'll wish you died as a child

But it doesn't mean we can't have a few laughs

But not before his humor cost the lives of three very fine individuals

But regardless of what you read airman the department of defense wants final say

But vietnam ladies not friends

By the food and flower vendors where you burn your mouth on the noodles

Bye bye bye

Call me crazy he's in rome

Call me in five minutes

Call police quick

Can we have is there a psychiatrist here

Can we please not get into this right now you're in the middle of a show

Can we try my boyfriend's back anybody

Can we try that one

Can you believe the shape of those gals girls

Can you envision some fairly unattractive alternatives

Can you give me a minute

Can you tell us what you've found out about the enemy since you've been here

Can't let you do that

Can't see dick like hunting with ray charles

Careful you could put an eye out with that

Carry on montesque carry on

Chaperons

Check it out

Cleveland obviously vietnam's not that much of a change for you then

Come on

Come on come on

Come on guess again

Come on it's cursing class you're getting a little pissed off what would you do

Come on let me buy you a beer

Come on let me buy you a couple of beers how about it

Come on pal we'll make it

Come on sir

Come on sir in a couple of weeks this'll be easy for you

Come on take some chances once in a while edward that's what life's all about

Come on you're on in like two seconds

Comedy no no this is not comedy comedy is fun it's antics hysterical type things

Comedy sir

Cretan camouflage if you wanna blend into a crowd of drunken greeks there's nothing better

Cronauer

Cronauer i'm sorry as hell about this thing

Cut that thing off I said cut it off

Da nang me da nang me why don't they get a rope and hang me

Dan levitan

Dan levitan you've probably heard my radio show

Definitely wouldn't work on radio sir

Dick i've covered for you a lot of times because I thought you was a little crazy but you're not crazy you're mean

Didn't have to pick up the phones until he comes back

Didn't I speak to you before

Didn't know they had balls

Didn't we meet last year at the feinman bar mitzvah

Didn't we meet last year at the peninsula club

Didn't you ever wonder why you were pulled out just moments before the whole place blew up

Didn't you hear I cannot find you unless you talk to me

Do you ever wonder how a young south vietnamese boy gets into and out of vc held territory

Do you have any idea how ridiculous it makes me look to have a man under my command start a fucking bar brawl

Do you really expect me to run this radio station with nothing to say and no way to do it

Do you think he looks like a negative of little richard or am I crazy really and that hair

Does that road have a secure status

Don't build him up you'll let them down

Don't disappoint your

Don't do this shit

Don't get crazy over this dick

Don't get me wrong he seems like a nice guy but my father's nice and he's not funny either

Don't go near there get away from the river stay away from there

Don't help and don't smooth

Don't ruin it by conjuring up images of dale evans all right

Don't worry about it it'll go great this way sir

Don't you understand dick

Due respect sir

E g hey hauk eat a bag of shit you suck

Earl earl earl

Eat

Eat I can't it's still paddling

Eddie kirk here and ray conniff jubilee coming up in just a few moments

Edward don't you ever do anything that's not by the book

Edward please that's two nasty words in one year

Edward stay with me on this

Either of our names earl he calls everybody earl

Enemy what is enemy

Ethel merman jams russian radar

Ethel merman today uses a test to jam russian radar

Even encapsulated in two seconds my life is dull I find that very alarming

Even saying that means I don't know dick

Every gi in this country is glued to his radio twice a day at 0600 hours and 1600 hours to hear that lunatic

Everybody say gook but it's all right

Everybody time to get up get up wherever you are

Excuse me can I help you

Excuse me sir

Falling down that's a sight gag how would anyone see you fall down in the radio sir

Feels like the mouseketeers show annette cubby roy

Find anything

Fine

Fine just don't let it happen again

Fire 4 there's a fire in the landing on the outside of the building

First of all don't make fun of the weather here

First our fashion report from special forces sgt ernest lee sincere

First thing i'd like to know is what subject this is

First we have to have a little strenght training

Five months in saigon my best friend turns out to be a vc

Flip them a bird!

Flip them the bird

Fool it's hot I told you were you born on the sun it's damn hot

For crying out loud man this isn't brain surgery

For me I want to do something different

Forget it will you listen I give up i'm gonna phone it in okay enough bullshit i'm out of here see you fellows

Forget memos forget memos these are pretty women coming

Forgive me

Formaldehyde we put in just a touch of formaldehyde for flavour some people get sick yeah so if you have to be rushed to a hospital then when you return I give you a free salad

Former president eisenhower actually cartoon character elmer fudd

Former vice president richard nixon's in town

Former vp richard nixon will arrive here this week

Four twenty seven as far as

Frankly I found your I love a police action remark way out of line

Freddie and the dreamers

Freddie is the devil freddie is the devil

Frenchy you know I really shouldn't kid frenchy because sometimes he stan getz mad at me and he could al hirt me

Friends of phan duc tho

From a marine in da nang captain hauk sucks the sweat off a dead man's balls

From england today princess margaret threw a shoe easy madge

From now on the fighting men of vietnam will hear exactly what they're supposed to hear

From the village new york

From the village well nice to have you here

Funny is good

Funny is good but then do it by using comedy and humor not police action and coffee remarks

Furthermore you are to stick to playing normal modes of music not wild stuff

G2 corporal tiser sir

Gambia singapore and the maldive islands join the united nations

Garlick

Garlick have you put on some weight

Garlick will you cut it out you're beginning to sound like a priest in a '40s movie

General likes easy listening I have to inform you

General wackiness like that

Genius

Gentlemen

Gentlemen what can I say but hi

Get a job

Get a job (2)

Get a job again

Get back

Get back (2)

Get back here!

Get him out of here

Get him out of there

Give it to me edward

Give me your hand

Go into conference that point that fence

God i've gotta be with her at least till she learns my name

God is it hot what a country heat humidity terrorism still it's better than new york in the summer

God it's warm huh

God nude photographs of walter brennan

God only knows what they'd say sir

God what time is it edward

God!

Goddamn it

Goddamn it I like you son I like what you do

Gomer are you here in vietnam

Good afternoon class

Good afternoon mr sloan

Good god help me work through it

Good morning vietnam

Good morning vietnam (2)

Good morning vietnam (3)

Good morning vietnam (4)

Good morning vietnam (5)

Good morning vietnam (6)

Good morning vietnam (7)

Good Morning Vietnam #good morning vietnam #robin williams #radio

Good morning vietnam what the heck is that supposed to mean

Good so do i

Goodbye vietnam

Got an agreement on guam

Got some songs going out right now to a couple of guys on the road to nha trang you know what i'm talking about

Great and manifold are our blessings today

Great britain recognised the island state of singapore

Great week

Greetings and salutations to any and all servicemen in the area and thanks so much for joining us

Groovy

Groucho marx!

Guam sir there's nothing going on in guam why guam

Guys i'd like you to meet our new deejay adrian cronauer

Ha ha ha! bada bing!

Ha ha thank you so much adrian

Hackensack

Has signed les crane to a late night talk show

Have a seat man pull up a floor here

Have you considered possibly a sex change there is an operation that can transform you

He came to us because of prostrate problems and some sort of social infection that doesn't go away

He did a very off color parody of former vp nixon

He didn't show up for work today either

He doesn't play police actions just wars

He likes to say pc instead of press conference the lieutenant loves to abbreviate

He look good to me

He lugs a trainload of shit behind him that would fertilize the sinai

He made a mistake

He maliciously and with purposeful intent read unofficial news

He mean that as compliment

He reminds me a lot of donna reed especially around the eyes

He say you drink too much already

He says he wants to buy naked photographs of the actor for three years he's been trying

He was a commander of an elite special forces unit

He was quoted as saying

He's a fashion consultant for the army

He's a friend from my class who risked his ass to save my life

He's a little goofy but he's okay

He's also one of your roommates so if I were you i'd think about suicide

He's an exhilarating personality and polkas are just no substitute

He's currently wanted by the south vietnamese police in connection with several bombings in the area including the one at jimmy wah's

He's good oh he's good

He's impeccably clean

He's left crete he's entered the demilitarized zone

He's not out till you have both halves of the ball

He's read unofficial news

He's the first man in the history of armed forces radio to get fan mail

Heading north

Heh heh heh I like you already sir

Heh heh you know it's like wearing stripes and plaid

Hello campers

Hello class my name is adrian cronauer

Hello hello hello this is your chaplain captain noel

Hello hey well the gang's all here huh ha ha

Hello i'm william holden

Hello vietnam and greetings

Help me get some photo of those ankle I give you my bar

Here it is coming for you now quick news flash

Here it is right now

Here she comes

Here she comes miss southeast asia

Here she is diana ross and the suprawns

Here they come at you right now

Here you go there you go hey got one for you

Here your beer

Here's a brief test of that jamming

Here's a coincidence ho chi minh colonel sanders actually the same person

Here's a little james brown coming your way

Here's a little riddle for you

Here's a news flash

Here's a news flash coming right now

Here's a song coming your way right now

Here's how you do it you say slip me some skin put your hand out there then you go yeah there's some skin now you do it to me

Here's something exciting

Hey

Hey (2)

Hey 12 please um

Hey baby what's happening let's groove

Hey come on now

Hey cronauer say good morning vietnam

Hey curly!

Hey excuse me I would like to buy some cheese and some butter

Hey fellas how's the cough drop business

Hey guys guess who the hell I got in here

Hey hey hey hey hey hey come on now

Hey hey hey uncle phil

Hey hi can you help me what's your name

Hey I know it's not the morning but that's my trademark and good evening sounds too depressing

Hey I like you I just wanna be your friend okay I know it sounds dumb

Hey i'll be I wanna be your pal here okay i'll eat it dig in mm mm

Hey i'll take whatever you can give because i'm just happy to be with you

Hey i'm adrian cronauer

Hey i'm interested in the girl not in you playing dear abby

Hey is it a little too early for being that loud hey too late

Hey it's another delightful day here in vacation land

Hey it's no problem

Hey let me ask you a question what is the appeal of joey bishop

Hey listen I know there's no way

Hey mr o'malley o'malley you know the irish dolby twins

Hey peterson get up here man I think we got cronauer here

Hey sarge where are the women

Hey teacher when are you gonna teach us to softball

Hey that was the great exciting sound of petula clark

Hey that wraps it up for me marty lee dreiwitz

Hey that's it for me i'm out of here

Hey there we go for you here we go for you all

Hey there you are cronauer

Hey this has been fiction and fact from marty lee's almanac

Hey this is not a test this is rock 'n' roll

Hey wait a minute let's try something let's play this backwards and see if it gets any better

Hey we got a great show coming your way today

Hey we're back that last two seconds of silence was marcel marceau's newest single walkin' in the wind

Hey we're going right now to the news

Hey what is this demilitarized zone

Hey what kind of news are you leaving me there

Hey what's your name

Hey whatever it is I like it because it gets you on your toes better than a strong cup of cappuccino

Hey where's he going

Hey you all played a good game

Hey you know what I mean

Hey you two earl what about couple beer

Hey! who brought in the gook I said who brought in the fucking gook

Hi

Hi (2)

Hi earl good to see you again

Hi general

Hi hi

Hi hi hi

Hi how's lynn doing i'm sorry you look like lynn's friend from toledo

Hi this is marty lee dreiwitz at cronauer control centre

Hi tuan long time no twee

Hi what's your name

Hi where you from

His father and brother was killed by french long ago I think that's not fair to him

Hold on a minute sir

Hold on how big is this thing hold on how big is this

Hot no hot no it's fucking great

How about if it escalated

How about if what escalated the vietnam conflict

How am I gonna get this girl to go out with me

How am I gonna get to first base with this girl

How can some person look like a shit it impossible

How can you fight a war in this shit I don't know where they are I don't even know where am

How can you have the gall to compare the conflict here in vietnam with a glass of cappuccino coffee

How come I don't get one

How do we know it's adrian cronauer

How do you recognise an island you go hey wait no don't tell me wait wait

How far you think we've gone ten 15 miles

How the hell do I know

How the hell you find us sparky

How would you describe your sex life with your wife pat it is unexciting sometimes

How would you describe your testicles they're soft they're shallow and they have no purpose they lack the physical strength

How you doing

How's it going up there

Hubert humphrey visits capitol hill

Hysterical type things

I also recognise your species of soldier

I am a lieutenant and I would like salutes occasionally

I am the authorities you moron

I better go now

I call it a jubilee

I can come up with alternatives other than crete

I can confide you sure

I can only tell you about how you can talk on maybe the real streets of america

I can't believe you

I can't believe you're gonna pass on this general

I can't do that sir

I can't even make fun of richard nixon

I can't I gotta be back on the air again

I can't really teach english

I damn near busted a gut laughing at him

I deserve to be notified of any changes that are made

I do nothing

I don't care about polkas

I don't find him funny at all

I don't know

I don't know (2)

I don't know I may go downtown look for a vietnamese man named phil

I don't know i'm just so happy

I don't know lieutenant

I don't know lieutenant I guess it means good morning uh vietnam

I don't know what that means

I don't know what to say

I don't know what to say we're gonna maybe drop in a little napalm and try and cook him down maybe a little barbecue

I don't like your style your politics or your sense of humor I don't like what you say or how you say it

I don't recommend that you tangle with me on this one airman

I don't think anybody would see you fall through a radio sir if a field radio

I don't think so sir

I don't think you understand me sparky ahem

I don't wanna miss my big chance

I don't want makes you nervous cronauer

I doubt it

I expect every minute of the vp's pc to be taped and broadcast within 12 hours of his arrival

I feel like a fox in a chicken coop

I fought to get you into that bar and then you blow the fucking place up!

I get it mm hm

I got a great personality you ask anybody

I got it from my niece

I got it jerry vale he closes the copa on the 18th

I got people stuck in places they haven't even considered how to get out of yet

I got something here for you

I gotta catch her before she accelerates

I gotta get her something what about bananas

I gotta tell you something you know

I guess I get inside hit these air conditioners I get a little dizzy

I guess that beach movie really impressed her huh

I guess we have to go to all the way to washington to weather central to walter cronkite

I had a guy like you in the field one time he blew himself to pieces

I have arranged for an honorable discharge provided you leave without incident

I have never ever in my travels come across a man as large as you with as much muscles who has absolutely no penis

I have no idea what that means sir but it seems very negative to me

I have over 15 years command experience in this army

I have to admit something to you I just came from crete with women that look like zorba

I have to leave the country because of my association with him

I heard that

I hope

I hope I hope we all could

I just remain reticent

I just want to begin by saying to roosevelt e roosevelt what it is what it shall be what it was

I just want you to know one thing if you're going to be dressing in civilian clothes don't forget pumps

I just wanted to think that you should

I know about the bombings sparky

I know americans you see a girl with the type breasts they like and they put her in a fancy car and they buy her some expensive food and then lie about money and then try and take her into a bed

I know because she's my sister

I know nixon personally

I know we can't use the word dyke you can't even say lesbian it's women in comfortable shoes

I know you very nice

I like james brown better

I like that makes me feel uh british or something

I live to collate sir

I love you

I made a date with you and trinh tomorrow

I mean I don't know it's the irish boy

I mean I know funny and I don't think you're it but hey such is life me i'm not much with power tools

I mean the man's not funny I know funny and he's not funny

I not can do this cronauer no no friend cronauer

I not like you sir

I not think be not correct of way please okay

I recommend you pack quietly

I run the station according to strict guidelines set by military intelligence

I run this show general

I said it is none of your goddamn business

I said that this a very good substitute

I say tomato you say cay tomat

I screw up once more dickerson sends me into the field with a rifle I come home in a box

I see your point i'm sorry

I still can't believe she really wants to see me

I tell you this guy's funny

I tell you this now listen

I think he sounds exactly like mister ed you be the judge

I think I learned enough about radio stations I mean maybe I can work in a station back home or something

I think some apologies are in order

I think that I see a pattern forming here

I think the troops are trying to tell us something fellas

I think there's an incredible coincidence here

I think this fall the discerning gi is gonna be wearing green in the jungle why because it matches with the green I don't the leaves they fall upon the helmets says yes to me

I thought i'd come and help smooth things out

I thought it was hilarious

I tried to tell the truth and they kicked me off the air

I trust you man it's just that I can't eat something that looks like a cesspool

I try to find cronauer he don't show up in class

I understand

I understand you're pretty funny as a deejay

I wanna introduce you to someone right now from my english class

I want to buy some butter and some cheese please

I want to say goodbye before you go to tell you thank you for being so kind

I want to see him asap

I want to show you something very nice it look wonderful

I want to turn in the ball to the original place

I want you to play this

I wanted to wait until the airman left to talk with you

I was almost killed a truck's bumper was this far from my nose

I was sent here on very strict orders from a colonel

I was thinking of something else

I was wondering if you could do your mister ed because I know people love that

I will tell him sir

I work for a living airman

I would however love to buy you lunch maybe look at a family album come on

I would like to leave the room now

I wouldn't buy an apple from the son of a bitch and I consider him a good close personal friend

I'd like you to collate these one minute spots prior to broadcast

I'll buy you some lunch

I'll do fine comedy is what you make it i've got pages and pages of great material

I'll drive

I'll make sure he gets the message

I'll take care of it pronto sir

I'll work on that sir

I'm afraid you're gonna be hitting bottom sir

I'm also new york

I'm certain that i'm a catholic boy and I don't know when i'll be getting laid i'm just going off to vietnam

I'm from uh cleveland man

I'm general taylor

I'm gonna give you the old chuck on the shoulder now it's a stupid thing to do isn't it

I'm gonna take myself out of the driver's seat but i'm gonna turn you over right now to mr excitement

I'm here to make sure you don't say anything controversial

I'm impressed

I'm in artillery!

I'm informing you that you're out of here I want your bags packed and ready to go tomorrow afternoon

I'm just so full of semen I haven't gotten laid yet

I'm not even in my body

I'm not going on

I'm not going on (2)

I'm not gonna cover for you this time son

I'm o o o o'malley

I'm on again at 1600 why because I have to it's the army

I'm pretty sure you can step on crap I once saw it in a french movie

I'm private first class edward montesque garlick at your service sir

I'm real good at stuff like that

I'm saying i'm through i'm tired of people telling me what I can't say

I'm she's getting away edward get the jeep get the jeep

I'm sorry son

I'm stationed in poontang

I'm the tallest hog in the trough around here

I'm trying to run a meeting here

I'm waiting to die

I'm with somebody don't come bother me right now can't you give us weather

I'm with you man i'm on your frequency

I've assigned you to cover the pc

I've been all around the world seen a lot of places and a lot of people

I've been broadcasting the polkas because I thought a certain segment of the men weren't represented by cronauer's broadcasts of rock 'n' roll

I've been looking forward to meeting you

I've been on a greek island with a lot of women who look like zorba I never thought i'd find women attractive ever again

I've been on the air for four hours i'm a little hungry

I've been trying to tell him that it's no go but he won't listen to me

I've never heard rhymes like that

I've taken 90 calls this morning they just don't like hauk

If anything screws up it's my ass in the mower

If it isn't funny then why did I hear you laughing when you typed it

If it's being done correctly here or abroad it's probably not being done by the army

If someone is not telling the truth you say that they are full of shit

If something's really nice you say it's groovy doesn't mean you're like going no it means groovy

If this is legitimate news story it must go through proper channels

If you attempt to deviate from the planned schedule you're under arrest

If you can't stop in and select your own books write to the hsas library

If you don't understand what I said maybe you should take my english class

If you haven't noticed the army doesn't really want me been harassing me since the day I got off the plane

If you kick out the gooks next thing you have to kick out the chinks spics spooks and kikes and all that's gonna be left in here are a couple of brain dead rednecks and what fun would that be

If you say that hey some people in a car some gypsies they cut you off all of a sudden you flip them the bird

If you two have personal problems solve them will you

If you wanna continue to have a brother you take me to him now!

In sports all star rookie pete rose's three hits

In that case gentlemen let's edit

In the dictionary under asshole it says see him

In the eight weeks he's been on the air general he's disobeyed orders as to style and content

In time you will make me forget it

In vietnam family often come to meet someone to meet someone

Incidentally you're on the air in about ten seconds nine eight seven six

Is he all right

Is it english yes it is and how lucky for me

Is it me or is jimmy light in the loafers

Is that a new rule no old rule

Is that date firm

Is that me or does that sound like an presley movie

Isn't that funny you like that too

It did happen

It didn't work out

It doesn't make a damn whether you play polkas or don't play polkas

It involves cronauer which makes me suspicious immediately

It is definitely not a friendly area negative sir it is not it is hazardous and has been for about 48 hours heavily fortified and considered very unsafe sir

It just came down the pike you're back on the air sir

It okay! you can come out now!

It read for my the book

It says goodbye to everybody staying behind

It was a joke sir yes sarcasm sir

It was a pleasure making your acquaintance sir

It zoomed right by just the way they say it does

It'll be okay

It's 5 30 five thirty it's very early I may have to hurt you

It's 0600 what's the o stand for oh my god it's early

It's 1629 hours here in saigon and airman adrian cronauer is going home today

It's a bathing cap I just like to put a bathing cap

It's a deal

It's a greeting it's like how are you doing nice to meet you slip me some skin

It's a simple rule if the engine's humming it's already started never fail you

It's a special thing you do

It's all yours you got it

It's already started

It's dangerous out there things just jump out at you

It's going to be an exciting day of listening and learning so please tune in

It's gonna be hot and wet that's nice if you're with a lady but it ain't no good if you're in the jungle

It's hot damn hot real hot hotter things is my shorts I could cook things in it a little crotch pot cooking

It's just down the hall it's in the right

It's me your old pal frenchy

It's more devout here

It's not a pretty picture there's pieces of rubber all over his face

It's not a very pretty picture there's horns everywhere

It's not funny at all he said

It's so damn hot I saw one of those little guys their orange robes burst into flames it's that hot you know what i'm talking about

It's the truth I just wanna report the truth it'd be a nice change of pace

It's time for adrian cronauer

It's too dangerous staying here

It's unbelievable

It's very difficult to find a vietnamese man named charlie

It's working

Jay snyder

Jeez! shit! god oh hot

Jesus enough

Jesus that guy's as boring as whale shit

Jimmy wilkes

Joey bishop I wish someone would explain this one to me

Join the army and mark things

Jump in any time okay

Just cool your tongue airman because I intend to take issue with your performance

Just gonna get a little something to eat

Keep going! keep going! she's actually going home

Keep your eye on the fruit that's it eye on the fruit eye on the fruit on the fruit

Knock yourselves out

Ladies and gentlemen I give you the new voice of saigon adrian cronauer cronauer!

Ladies and gentlemen!

Larry pisces thank you very much

Last time in our last class we read chapter 3

Leo leo

Let me put it to you this way he's got this thing for walter brennan

Let's be friends okay come on come on come on

Let's get down to business here general

Let's go edward yeah the chase

Let's go let's boogaloo till we puke

Let's go whether it's a double or a daiquiri

Let's play a little game show while we're waiting

Let's pull her right back down let's try it faster see if that picks it up a little bit let's get it up on 17 18

Let's try a little phrase uh I like to call my boyfriend's back and there's gonna be trouble hey nah hey nah my boyfriend's back

Let's try a very special situation something special okay

Liberace is anastasia

Lieutenant scheer asks those men with waterlogged mitts to make every effort to dry them out in the sun before requesting new ones

Lieutenant steve let's play some music

Lieutenant steve lieutenant steve

Lieutenant steven hauk is our immediate supervisor

Lieutenant we get hundreds maybe thousands of calls and letters each week fan mail

Like if you're walking on the streets of new york and someone comes up and says

Listen

Listen could you do me a favour can you say something funny right this minute

Listen frenchy let me ask you something do you like good food

Listen his life is in danger you gotta tell me where the hell he is

Listen I gave you my friendship and my trust and now they tell me that my best friend is the goddamn enemy

Listen I gotta talk to you now come on

Listen if I don't get to my class there's gonna be a bunch of vietnamese speaking in choppy sentences

Listen if you have any problems here now you come see me

Listen it's an actual event where do you think this came from shaving

Listen jerk off we're here fighting for your country

Listen let me make it up to you by buying a cup of coffee also tea would fall into that category

Listen sparky I don't think seeing your little production of our town is gonna cheer me up

Lock 'n' loll baby lock 'n' loll

Look at the new friend

Look at the shape of that soldier ankle the way it so elegantly curve into his boot

Look at this look at that it says what sizes you got you got large medium and caucasian

Look at this thing a little italian party favour there

Look at this thing obviously this is going like yeah check it out

Look I caught his show on the isle of crete and this guy is funny

Look it's cool no big deal look

Look italian moon launch

Look out I don't see the sun anymore

Look out i'm singing everybody i'm singing

Look up there pull (mimics gunshot)

Look we gotta talk we gotta talk now

Looks at you like i'm sorry what're you gonna do about it asshole