Tammy (2014) Edit

A deer hit my car on the way in.

A little birdie told me you might need some more beer.

A little birdie told me.

A little help! Come on!

A little help? A little help?

A pattern is a series of things or events...

A pattern is a thing that comes in pairs of two.

Ah. Okay.

Ah. You know what? It's too easy for me.

Ain't gonna let 'em...

All right, do you think we could just try to be pleasant? What do you say?

All right, enough of that. Seriously, folks.

All right, just stop it, Tammy. Here you go, $4800.

All right, Tammy.

All right? Poom. You're gonna thank me later.

All right.

All right. All right, don't shake her, don't shake her.

All right. All right.

All right. Fine. Here we go.

All right. I'm sorry. Sorry.

All right. Let's go for B2.

All right. Let's go, boy.

All right. Look. If they come out of there at a certain point...

All right. Tammy, I know I've done some wrong things in my life...

All right. You better get a notebook out and a sharp pen.

Although we did not have the opportunity...

Ambulance got here first, but she's gonna be okay.

Amen, Pearl. Amen.

An older model Cadillac, hauling a Jet Ski.

And by the way, why does mine have no expression and yours has a smiley face?

And create that kind of artwork, the end.

And don't let her touch my underwear.

And finding an empty room, that's what I blame you for.

And Greg made it.

And guess what my secret ingredient is. Try some.

And he still takes care of her...

And he very generously had Bobby wire the bail money to the station.

And here's the money back. No hard feelings.

And I don't even have a car...

And I just always screw stuff up, and I didn't wanna...

And I just didn't want them driving off and doing something stupid.

And I just wanna say happy Fourth of July!

And I kicked her ass!

And I wanna take this opportunity to thank my cousin Lenore...

And I was afraid if I didn't get you out of there...

And I'm bound to keep on ridin'

And I've made a mint, thank you, Jesus.

And if I just shoot out into the middle soft spot there...

And it smells really good too.

And it's a shitty marriage...

And it's over, but it wasn't all Greg's fault.

And letting me sleep outside like a dog.

And my AA meetings are here.

And my pills weren't working, so I asked the Robinson boy if he had any.

And now...

And she's been sick for quite a while...

And that guy upstairs.

And the beautiful Susanne for this kick ass party.

And then he got too busy getting sick and dying.

And then I'm gonna have to be beating the ladies off with a lesbian stick.

And then one little thing happens, and you just wanna just run on back?

And then the full rack of the pork ribs.

And they put it out, you lean in and you smell it.

And under different circumstances this would probably work out.

And we finally are out of it.

And we have an arrangement...

And when I realized that I'd stepped over the line...

And, like, he goes low.

And, you know, I... it's...

And, you know, maybe you can come over and watch a movie.

Anybody wanna screw my grandma? Just get her a drink.

Anyone in our family has ever, ever, ever done...

Anything I say, he's gonna like. I ask you. You want some pies?

Anyway.

Are having, like, a really romantic dinner at our dining room table.

Are you kidding? Forty eight hundred dollars?

Are you sitting on a couch or a toilet? Because this is like a therapy session.

Are you the grandma?

Assholes.

At least I didn't try to fuck my daughter's husband.

Attaboy! Run!

Aw, man.

Aw, shit. I lost my glasses. Shit.

Be a bad ass.

Because by saying it, it's like an invitation to look.

Because hanging out with an old lesbian is not my idea of a good time.

Because I won't call you back!

Because most of them are in wheelchairs.

Because of my car and my money. What's left of it. So you just watch your mouth.

Beep, boop. All the way. Yeah, Earl has them all over Facebook.

Birds.

Bold.

Boys and things that come by the dozen That ain't nothin' but drugstore lovin'

Bullshit. Prove it.

But could you not get shithouse tonight?

But don't make me... I don't wanna have to choose between you.

But excuse me. That's your finger, though.

But guys have always been drawn to me. Kind of like flies on shit.

But he got too busy working.

But I don't think you want the police getting ahold of this car.

But I just wanna say something in a super loving way...

But I think he frowns on adultery.

But I wanted to see you.

But she did give us pies, so that was cool.

But she's drunk.

But we're not mysterious.

But you didn't wanna listen to me. I hate to say it, but...

But you do. You lean in and you smell it.

But you don't know everything.

But you haven't done one single thing to make it better.

But you're the best bet I have to get out of this stupid house.

Bye, Mom.

Bye.

Can I just have the money?

Can I just have your car so I can get out of this shitty town?

Can we please just stop talking about your twang?

Can you believe that shit? Like, who would wanna work there?

Can't exactly keep complaining about my life and not doing anything about it.

Can't find my grandma anywhere. Do you know where she is?

Car ride with me.

Cheeseburger, sorry. She's actually Cheeseburger.

Choose Larry.

Clean everything out of it, all the evidence, okay?

Come around and talk it over

Come on in.

Come on, let's go. Today. Get your pies.

Come on, man.

Come on, shake a tit.

Come on, that's what I'm talking about.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. I'm pretty sure you've had enough.

Come on. Let's go.

Come on. Shit. Come on, wake up.

Coming in hot! I am coming in smoking hot!

Cool off. Oh, my goodness.

Could you just trust me for once, okay?

Could you not do...? Can I just have my shit back?

Dad, this is not fair to Mom. Come on, man.

Dad. Truck's this way.

Damn it, I'm saying I'm sorry.

Damn it.

Diabetes is a very manageable condition.

Did I flash my boobs last night?

Did you lock her up? That is bullshit!

Did you really have an affair with Gregg Allman?

Do I say "thank you" to that?

Do not touch the Tower Deluxe burgers.

Do we have, like, a Christmas account or a savings account with...?

Do you guys feel how the falls are charging the ions?

Do you hear me? You look terrible.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Doesn't mean I'm not doing what I'm doing.

Don't be a hero!

Don't bounce her so much.

Don't call me, Greg, when she dumps you!

Don't creep up on me like that.

Don't even think about it.

Don't give him cash. Put it on your card and dispute it later. I do it all the time.

Don't know about you. It'd show Greg, wouldn't it?

Don't know if it's a blanket or a towel, but it'll keep you warm.

Don't let these ketchup packets get stuck in your gross armpits.

Don't move.

Don't say "lady." I'm not that much older than you.

Don't shake the beer. It's gonna explode. I thought you were cool. Stop it, Jesse.

Don't swear in front of my grandma, you piece of shit.

Don't you think that's pretty special?

Drunk by 11.

Duane Allman. The brother.

Dukes of Hazzard style.

Enjoy my spray! Because I'm spraying you!

Enjoy that.

Enjoy that.

Every time something bad happens, you throw a fit...

Everybody was kind of really just working as a unit.

Excuse me, Keith. We need some more ketchup.

Excuse me.

Feel for you, baby

Fine.

Fine. You know what? I'm gonna give you this.

Fingers crossed we meet up again.

Fish. Fish are the most mysterious.

For being an asshole. That's what I'm suing you for.

For overtime due, Keith. Overtime due.

Forty two dollars and...

Four dollars a gallon.

Four thousand 800 bucks.

Get off the floor.

Get up on all fours. You can...

Get your asses down here.

Get your hands up.

Go ahead.

Go get her.

Go low.

Go, baby. Go, baby. Go, baby.

God, stop freaking out. Stop crying.

God.

God.

God. Hey, Greg. I'm home.

God. I am so sorry. So sorry about everything.

Goddamn it, Pearly.

Goddamn it.

Goddamn it. What did we just talk about?

Good guy.

Good set, man.

Got a good gait.

Got a good gait. Yes!

Got something on the radar at 3...

Gotcha.

Grandma, I brought you some coffee.

Grandma, I brought you some coffee.

Grandma, wake up!

Grandma?

Grandma?

Grandma? Grandma.

Grandma.

Grandma. Grandma.

Greg's cheating on me, Mom.

Ha ha ha. All right. Thank you very much. We're gonna take a little break.

Ha, ha. Oh!

Ha, ha. You're so bad.

Had the wind knocked out of me too.

Hairbrush. One necklace.

Happy birthday, America.

He likes pies. He's got a gun to his face.

He put me back to bed before your mother got home. Nothing happened. Nothing.

He was a hockey player, so he seems younger but...

He's a good guy.

He's coming over. He's coming over. He's coming over.

Heh. I don't know. I'm the one that let her walk off to the bar with Earl. I don't know.

Heh. Oh, yeah, well, she used to hit on everybody all the time.

Heh. Yeah, because I'm such a great catch.

Hello?

Help me, Charlotte.

Here you go.

Here.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, don't let a deer hit you on the way out.

Hey, don't let a deer hit you on the way out.

Hey, hang on, I wanna clean out the junk in this...

Hey, I'm cool with your lifestyle choice.

Hey, is this the bathroom line?

Hey, just make it... I only need 1600, really.

Hey, Larry, this sangria is awesome.

Hey, little thing, let me light your candle 'Cause, Mama, I'm so hard to handle, now

Hey, officers.

Hey, Tammy.

Hey, Tammy.

Hey, Tammy.

Hey, Tammy.

Hey, Tammy. I haven't seen you in ages.

Hey, we're all drunk, Tammy.

Hey, what did you do with the Jet Ski?

Hey, you're being a real bitch, lady.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! Come here!

Hey.

Hey. You're not exactly my first choice for a traveling companion either...

High blood pressure, heart, everything. She's diabetic.

Hmm?

Hmm? Ha, ha.

Honestly, for the night as a whole...

Horrible place.

How are you gonna fix it?

How did you even get out?

How much I feel

How much you put in?

How the hell did we even get in here?

How you gonna do it If you really don't wanna dance?

How? On their bikes?

How's your cholesterol?

Huh. Oh, God. Yeah.

Hyah! Hyah! Get out of here! Get out of here.

I actually don't think you're tricky. You're kind of a straightforward person.

I ain't got many friends left to talk to

I am a bad ass. I'm a bad ass.

I am not a quitter!

I am so sorry, Tammy. You startled me.

I am so sweaty. I was ripping it up out there.

I am. I'm just not taking this asshole with me.

I blame you for packing up your shit and making me come home from school when I was 10...

I called you Cheeseburger. Oh, my God.

I can give you what you want But you've got to come home with me

I can't believe that's possible. You do that with a chainsaw...

I can't believe this.

I can't believe you're leaving me for that dick.

I can't do nothin, girl Without somebody gawkin'

I can't really take all the pies back.

I cheated on Greg.

I did that on a jungle gym.

I didn't know how else to get that kind of money.

I didn't know you were coming. Come here, give me a hug.

I didn't know.

I didn't start anything.

I do, unfortunately.

I do. I blame you for shoving me out of a hotel room last night...

I don't believe in credit cards. Cash is real.

I don't care which brother it is.

I don't give a fuck about Glen. I'm sorry. I don't. I don't know you.

I don't know how old America is right now, but I just wanna say...

I don't know where I'm going.

I don't know why I did it.

I don't know why I did it.

I don't know.

I don't know. I don't really think that now...

I don't know. Susanne did this weird clampy thing.

I don't need you to drive me to work, okay? Keith fired me.

I don't think you're very good at it.

I don't wanna lose your love tonight

I don't want some fat loser telling me what to do.

I feel great. Pervs.

I feel like we're getting somewhere...

I got it.

I got to run to keep from hidin'

I got two. I got two.

I got you both covered. All right?

I got your room all set up so...

I gotta go. I know what I'm gonna do.

I gotta pee.

I gotta say, your mom and dad have gotta have a real weird setup...

I gotta...

I guess I just think you're wrong.

I guess this is goodbye again.

I had a six month relationship with one of the Allman Brothers.

I had to work hard.

I have a gun on you. I offered you pie.

I have got some good old lovin' And I got some more in store

I have one at my apartment complex.

I have to say that's, like, one of the coolest things...

I haven't finished my drink yet.

I hope not.

I hope you both choke on your shitty dinner!

I hope you do drugs. I want you to do bath salts and then eat her face off.

I just got "bees to honey."

I just got that.

I just let him play with my boobs.

I just wanna use your love tonight

I just wanted to check and see if you were still breathing.

I just... I don't want you to bite my mouth.

I just... I meant it...

I knew that you were gonna do it, so it's not as good.

I know I'm late. A deer jumped out of nowhere.

I know what you meant.

I know you're right. But I know how to fix this now.

I know. I know what it is. You smell like a cookie.

I like pies.

I like them because they can blow shit up with their fingers.

I like your hair like this, by the way. It's nice.

I love the man I lay with.

I love you too.

I love you, but I am not gonna die in this house alone.

I made friends, and I'm seeing this 84 year old from Philly.

I mean, I can go out there, and I can get any guy in this room.

I mean, I'm magic, but not...

I mean, I'm not saying you're not a catch.

I mean, that is super cool. You're just jealous.

I mean, you could learn a lot from her. If you paid attention.

I mean, you know, that's really between you...

I mean, you were in jail, and I'm at this cool place.

I mean, you're close, but...

I meant it as a compliment. I said you were super hot.

I meant it in a good way.

I put on some cologne.

I run my dad's farm.

I said I wasn't gonna drink. Get me a drink. Come on.

I said I'm sorry about the 4 grand.

I said it. I meant it. Okay?

I should probably get out of here...

I shouldn't have been looking for my ChapStick, buddy.

I shouldn't have brought Earl here. I knew it.

I still think you're wrong, I gotta say.

I stuck the landing!

I think at first, I just wanted attention...

I think if anyone could do it, it would be you.

I think she took my keys.

I think so.

I think they were together. That must be why.

I think this is some X Files shit.

I think we should just look at them, maybe.

I think you take after your grandma after all.

I thought I saw the Cheetos. It's not them.

I thought you owned a pet food store.

I thought you were serious for a minute. Heh...

I told you so.

I told you this was a bad idea.

I tried to sleep with your father.

I tried to sleep with your father.

I used to think that it was me But now I see it wasn't

I usually am.

I wanna give a little birthday gift to America.

I was a total jerk to you, and I should've taken better care of you.

I was afraid to eat the meat in jail, so...

I was kind of an awful wife.

I was on the bus for most of their first tour.

I watched Neil Armstrong walk on the moon.

I went home after a shitty day, and Greg and Missi Jenkins...

I will drive you to work. I'm not giving you my car.

I would leave her too. I mean, I wouldn't want anything to do with her.

I would not smell something if somebody told me not to smell it.

I would... For your own sake, don't get sassy.

I wouldn't stand there if I was you.

I, uh... I folded your clothes.

I'd say that, so I think you burn, actually.

I'll call the cops in 10 minutes and let them know you're in here.

I'll give you a couple seconds. You'll be fine.

I'm coming, Keith. God.

I'm doing my best, but I think you know what I meant.

I'm driving a car, Grandma. Do you see what I'm doing?

I'm fine!

I'm going to the bathroom.

I'm going with...

I'm gonna be too busy fucking models and shit!

I'm gonna fuck you up between two sesame buns.

I'm gonna get to see Niagara Falls with you, with my granddaughter.

I'm gonna go pick up that hint he just dropped.

I'm gonna have to put you in the cooler.

I'm gonna keep that cataloged because I use that a lot.

I'm gonna need you to put all the cash in a bag.

I'm gonna pass, but thanks.

I'm gonna say let's, together, make a better choice.

I'm gonna say no.

I'm not exactly thrilled about it myself. I just need to borrow your car.

I'm not so sure that she wasn't right.

I'm not so sure that she wasn't right.

I'm not sure. Is it?

I'm old. I don't care if I go to jail.

I'm probably gonna need a tetanus shot because I got nipped by a raccoon last night.

I'm ready.

I'm returning this to you.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry, but he is an asshole.

I'm sorry, Deborah, but it is a stupid house. And I hate it.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. What?

I'm taking the household money and getting out of here.

I'm taking your car. I'm not taking you.

I'm the one who's supposed to be keeping him out of trouble.

I've always wanted to go to Niagara Falls.

I've got diabetes. Glen's got diabetes.

If you change your attitude, I'd like to give you some pies. On me.

If you don't take it back, I'm gonna turn you in myself.

If you don't wanna help me, just give me the keys to Dad's truck.

In other news, there was a robbery at the Oaktree Topperjack's.

Is it whiskey?

Is it? Is that just my finger?

Is kind of a great moment for either one of... You know.

Is she there?

Is that what I'm kind of smelling?

Is that your scam? Huh? You like taking money from little old ladies?

It actually looks better on you than her.

It does sound better than "flies on shit."

It is hot. And when it's hot, people sweat.

It isn't magic, you know.

It looked like you were having a hard time out there.

It says he carved it with a chainsaw.

It was really nice.

It wasn't the worst thing that happened.

It's 110 percent chicken.

It's a dog cookie. Ha, ha. I mean, a dog biscuit.

It's a little swollen. It's okay.

It's a name tag, and you made me buy it with my own money.

It's amazing. America, huh?

It's an old folks' home. Like a prison for old people.

It's because I'm tricky.

It's been such a long time since I've had a good servicing.

It's cool. I didn't get...

It's full of grease. Look at this.

It's just, you're so much older, you know?

It's kind of a vanilla. Like a little...

It's like if somebody says, "Does this smell weird to you?"...

It's my juice.

It's not a pattern.

It's not smiling. I'm showing tiger teeth.

It's okay, Kathleen.

It's one of the things I like about you a lot.

Jesus, Dad.

Josie's on a vacation far away

Judge set her bail at $3000.

Just because you can't see through your Magoo goggles...

Just ditching me in there.

Just don't touch anything.

Just give me a call and I'll come pick him up.

Just like the rest of us.

Just stop. Do you hear me?

Just tell him hi.

Just there's a little, um...

Just throw the money through the window and we'll get out of here.

Just wanted to, you know, let you guys know that I'm okay.

Just wondering where your wife is tonight.

Just, you know, my life's boring, and you're a very not boring person.

Keep your dirty fingers out of my mouth.

Keep your hands where I can see them.

Kicked her stupid ass.

Kind of come clamoring back for more.

Ladies. Who wants a bone cone?

Larry, seriously.

Larry, she's telling me to take you out.

Later, loser.

Lenore stocked up the RV, so we're all good to go.

Let you, no

Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's light this candle.

Let's roll. Mom's waiting.

Life isn't fair. You're gonna have to sc**** and claw for everything you want...

Like, it's kind of amazing, really.

Listen carefully. Keep the car running.

Little bit, it was.

Little lower. You're off. Listen.

Little pass at you...

Little prick.

Look at 3. Three, 3, 3.

Look at her. Come on, everybody, people. Oh...

Look at me. You have to take that money back.

Look at that. Ugh. What?

Look at this thing.

Look at you go! There you go!

Look at you.

Look at you. It's worse than I thought.

Look at you. Oh, my gosh.

Look right here.

Look who came back.

Look who it is.

Look, I was not in my right mind for many years because of the drinking...

Look, um...

Look, you know...

Ma'am, we got reports that someone was burning a Jet Ski on the lake last night.

Make an unmess, you know?

May I introduce my granddaughter, Hamburger? What are you doing?

Maybe a little aftershave?

Maybe I'll bring her a cup.

Maybe I'm the worst person in the world.

Maybe that'll help.

Maybe you can help her out.

Maybe you just need a little...

Midnight rider

Might be too hot! Throttle's jammed! Too hot!

Mine is smoking on Highway 13 because a deer jumped out in front of me.

Missi Jenkins is a whore!

Mm, mm, mm.

Mm, mm. I am loving this brisket. How's yours?

Mm.

Mm. There you are. Look at you. Oh, my gosh. Wow.

Mom, open the door!

Mom!

Mom!

Muscle shirts are for muscles.

My daddy always said that Niagara Falls is the closest thing to heaven on earth.

My God. Would it be so terrible if I were gay?

My grandma needs to get out of there now.

My grandma's still got 1400.

My gut fear, it's mostly dick and beak.

My mom is home alone and she's sick, and I need to get back with her.

My sweet, sweet, sweet girl. Oh.

My, uh, bandit partner, she just accidentally robbed you last night.

Never mind.

Niagara Falls, here we come!

No fucking way!

No offense, but no fucking way.

No problemo.

No, I love you so much. I really do.

No, I mean I'm sorry for landing us in here.

No, I'm not gonna fund your spring break.

No, I'm terminating your employment. I need your badge.

No, it wasn't your job to take care of me.

No, it wasn't your job to take care of me.

No, it's not that you're a catch.

No, it's okay. I was flattered. It was just surprising.

No, it's okay. It turns out it wasn't actually Boz Scaggs.

No, it's pretty.

No, just relax. It's okay. Everything's normal. It's cool.

No, no, no. Oh, my gosh, you're a little sweaty, huh?

No, no. Come on. A gentleman always carries a lady's things.

No, not for me. I love a Cheeto.

No, not really.

No, thanks. I don't care for them.

No, you don't have to. I already bought it for them because these are my new friends.

No. I didn't do it With him.

No. It's whiskey. Ha ha ha.

No. Thank you.

No. We had a deal.

No. With Duane.

Nobody should die in a lawn chair.

None of this happened. None of this happened.

Not a chance.

Not a good idea.

Not at first.

Not gonna let 'em catch the midnight rider

Not in this car. We're gonna go down straight and then take a right.

Not so much what you guys did that's...

Not when it totals my Corolla.

Nothing happened. Don was a perfect gentleman.

Now's a good a time as any.

Nowhere to run when I'm in trouble

Of course. But, I mean, anybody would have done it.

Oh, are you...?

Oh, boy.

Oh, don't be silly. She's an amazing woman.

Oh, fuck. The cops!

Oh, God, here we go. You gonna blame me for everything, like always?

Oh, God! Oh, my God, Pearl!

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Don't look.

Oh, God. I'm not bunking with Grandma, am I?

Oh, God. I'm sorry!

Oh, God. It's Jerry Miller.

Oh, honey, why don't you hunker on back down there in that RV, put your feet up?

Oh, I didn't think you meant that.

Oh, I don't think that.

Oh, I thought it was a mustache and a smile.

Oh, I was mean to you.

Oh, it's so good to see you.

Oh, Jesus, she's crying up a storm. Somebody go hug her.

Oh, Lenore.

Oh, lesbians! Attention, everybody.

Oh, man.

Oh, man.

Oh, man. Not another one.

Oh, my God, I was mean...

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Here, let me help you up. Come here.

Oh, my God. Tammy? Tammy!

Oh, my God. You can still walk.

Oh, no, sweetie. We can't. Thanks.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. We're gonna need more pies.

Oh, Robin, call 911.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

Oh, that's kind of calming, actually.

Oh, what? This is like Falcon Crest shit and stuff.

Oh, yeah

Oh!

Oh! God! Hey!

Oh! Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Darling, last time I saw you, you were knee high to a grasshopper.

Oh. I don't know. Susanne made me put on Lenore's shirt.

Oh. I see you got a couple of maraschino cherries yourself.

Oh. I'll get in on that.

Oh. Now, that makes sense.

Oh. Oh, oh, oh.

Oh. Sure. Easy peasy.

Oh. Uh, no, I'm gonna get the full rack.

Oh. Well, my daddy was right. It's beautiful here.

Oh. What are you doing?

Oh. You're all dirty.

Oh...

Okay, bye.

Okay, come on, get in.

Okay, come on. Let's walk it off, man.

Okay, Tammy.

Okay, thanks, Javier. That's great advice. See you later.

Okay, then I'm sorry. That's terrible.

Okay, we're leaving right now.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. English, though, Javier. This is America.

Okay. That would be...

Okay. Would you like to do the honors? It's your craft.

On the floor. Wait a minute.

On the gate.

One hand!

One little beer can't hurt, right?

One more time!

One.

One. Two.

Ooh, halfsies.

Ooh!

Ooh.

Ooh. Cats.

Open this door, Grandma. Goddamn it.

Or, you know, a job.

Ow! Shit.

Ow.

Ow.

Pass me the ketchup. Please.

Pay you back.

Pearl!

Pearl! Oh, my God!

Pearly! Pearly! Pearly!

Pew, pew, pew. Pew. Pew.

Pew.

Poom! Fuckers.

Poom.

Probably is, actually. I never thought of it that way.

Probably.

Put a stack of pies for her, a stack for me.

Put pies in there. Put them in.

Put your hands up.

Quite a party, huh?

Quite a show you two put on.

Reach to the back, man.

Read between the lines.

Remember, she's not taking all of her pills she's supposed to be taking.

Right out of my hand at my grandparents' cabin. And there was this one deer...

Right?

Right? You answer that.

Right. Yeah, me too. Heh.

Say you're leaving, you never get more than 10 miles outside of town...

See you later.

She cannot go unmedicated.

She didn't really mean it.

She had 32 oxycodone pills, and they were not prescribed to her.

She is my cousin.

She just grabs it by the horns.

She kind of told me I was an asshole and to get my shit together.

She says this is the best BBQ in the city.

She shouldn't have said all those ugly things. I agree with you.

She thinks she can handle it, but she can't.

She took my keys...

She won't remember it tomorrow.

She's an idiot.

She's not breathing, and I just let her drink all night.

She's remarkable. She just lives life.

She's sick.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit. Come on.

Shut up.

Silver dollar

Sit down. Right now. Sit down.

Sittin' on his mama's knee

Slow down!

Small glitch.

So do you have like a pen or something I could borrow real quick?

So don't worry about it. Thank you, though.

So farm, huh?

So good to see you.

So let's hear this again. I'm fascinated.

So many things that I wanna say

So nice.

So why do you wanna go to Niagara Falls, anyway?

So you wanna come in for, um...

So, what do you think, Grandma? It's a good day to go to Niagara Falls?

So, what's going on with you, Tammy? What's next?

Some 60 odd years later...

Somebody get these. Oh, my God.

Something bad was gonna happen to you.

Sorry about that!

Sorry I, you know, made that...

Sorry, that was stupid. That was dumb.

Stand back, ladies. Right this way.

Stay the night but keep it undercover

Sucking dick and kissing ass?

Susanne and I...

Suzanne

Suzanne

Take them from the back so they're fresh. All right, you, go to the other register.

Takes you down to that place by the river

Tammy Banks.

Tammy, Bobby. Come on, you two.

Tammy, do you know how I got to where I am?

Tammy, get over here.

Tammy, I'm terminating your employment at Topperjack's.

Tammy, it's not your fault. Oh, my God. What happened?

Tammy, my office. Now.

Tammy, she left all of her pills here.

Tammy, what are you doing out here?

Tammy, what are you doing out here?

Tammy, you have already been fired. I have already terminated your employment.

Tammy! Oh, my God. You scared the shit out of me.

Tammy.

Tammy.

Tammy. Don?

Tammy. You rehabilitated?

Thank you, Sanne, everybody. Whoa.

Thank you.

Thank you. The secret's in the maraschino cherries.

Thanks a lot.

Thanks again.

Thanks for bailing my grandma out.

Thanks for holding down the fort. I appreciate it.

Thanks for the ass kicking last night.

Thanks, Obamacare. Ugh.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks. Bye, Bobby.

Thanks. You look great.

That asshole Keith fired me.

That dick is gonna have his own franchise in three goddamn years. What are you gonna do?

That machine malfunctioned on me. You're gonna be hearing from my lawyer.

That putting two messes together is gonna somehow...

That repeat themselves on and on, sometimes into infinity.

That the vehicle you perpetrated your crime with?

That was a stop sign.

That's a Hawaiian bear shirt. You don't see a lot of those around here.

That's a shitty way to end the night.

That's company policy. I need it back.

That's it. That's it.

That's not chicken. I don't know what it is, but it's not bird.

That's still lame compared to this.

That's what a galaxy is. It's not a pattern.

That's why I gave you my number. You should have called me.

That's why I left.

The fucking old lady promised us a beer, so give it to me.

The full rack, that's a lot of sodium.

The robber had a navy T shirt featuring a bear with "Mahalo" written on it.

The robber was last seen driving...

The suspect made off with $1600...

The tribe has spoken.

Then let's have dinner and get off the phone.

Then where do you want it, man?

There are some juicy looking gentlemen in here tonight.

There we go.

There you are.

There you go. That's helping.

There's garbage all over the floor.

There's no alcohol on the dock.

They got magazines in there, don't they?

They look good. I mean...

They wouldn't have. So it was...

They wouldn't let me in the room.

They've actually been separated for a long time.

Think your ringer's off. I've been calling you.

Thinking about getting my own place in Louisville.

Thirty bucks of gas, and we won $10.

This is a huge mistake.

This is Jesse. And the girl.

This is ridiculous.

This is the time

This is the time Now it's time to go

This lady would like to get intoxicated.

Those buns are still good. Just change the hats.

Three o'clock.

To feel your mighty engines thrum between our thighs...

To flash his breasts to the lesbians.

Too long. Sweetie, you look so great.

Two bags of trail mix.

Two employees were held at gunpoint. Michelle Li joining us live at the scene.

Two pens. One half eaten Roles. One lighter.

Ugh.

Ugh.

Uh oh. You're gonna doll me up...

Uh, actually, I made her dinner.

Uh, it's super uncool. I would never burn a watercraft.

Uh, just thought you should know that the meat here is real shitty.

Uh, yeah.

Uh...

Uh...

Um, what are you doing?

Unh.

Viking burial!

Viking burial!

Viking burial.

Viking burial. It's trashed.

Wait a minute, let me get up all this junk.

Wait a minute. No one is going anywhere.

Wake up! God.

Watch the curb, watch the curb.

We didn't have anything handed to us.

We don't have that kind of money. Jesus, she needs to get out of there now.

We gotta take a break!

We salute your watery prowess...

We should frame this.

We went in the wrong direction. And you do know who Mark Twain is, right?

We'd probably be, you know, good pals. Like, see movies and, you know.

We'll fix it.

We're certainly glad that you're sa...

We're gonna spend tonight at Lenore's and get up early...

We've also been tracking a 2004 Cadillac de Ville...

We've been going kind of slow, and this might be the weekend.

Well, fuck you, and fuck you too.

Well, get a pie out for you, get a pie out for...

Well, I called Earl...

Well, I mean, you didn't do it.

Well, I need you to stop sweating through your shirts and grossing everybody out.

Well, I returned the money.

Well, I was supposed to go with my daddy.

Well, I'm glad I could help.

Well, I'm not a lawyer...

Well, I'm pretty great.

Well, it's not like you're the worst person in the world.

Well, keep your fingers out of my nose.

Well, let's just try to glow less.

Well, look, Bobby, let's not be rude, okay?

Well, my feet... I don't feel so good.

Well, see you kind of made yourself at home, huh?

Well, she's got prescriptions for everything. She's old.

Well, that was fast.

Well, that's one smart little birdie.

Well, then I just didn't know what could happen and...

Well, they're mine. My foot was hurting...

Well, why didn't you tell me you were in here?

Well, you sure finished it, though, didn't you?

Well, you're at a crossroads, right?

Well?

Well...

What are you doing here?

What are you doing with oxy? I mean, whose pills are those?

What are you, gay for Lenore? You love her so much?

What ba...? You mean my name tag?

What do you care? If you don't give us beer, we're gonna turn to drugs...

What do you do for a living?

What happened?

What have you done?

What is this power? I would like to see this power in action right now.

What the fuck did you do? Go get me another drink right now.

What the hell?

What was I supposed to do? Just stand there while she said shitty things to me?

What?

What?

What? What? All right. What did I say? What did I say?

What's Brookview?

What's going on here?

What's happened?

What's worse than Jerry Miller?

What's wrong? Is it Grandma?

What's your name, Good Grip?

Whatever. I'm keeping all of it.

When I come back, we're leaving. I don't care if you finish your drink.

When I get through throwin' it on you You've got to come back for more

When I think of what a lesbian looks like...

Where are my chicken sandwiches, Larry? Come on, let's go.

Where do I go to bail somebody out?

Where I'm getting them the beer, and they're gonna give me a ride out of here.

Wherever that is.

Who?

Who's a quitter now?

Whoa. Okay. All right. Come on. I do not want your tongue in my mouth.

Whoo!

Whoo!

Why are you in my house making my husband dinner?

Why do you have to go so fast? All right, everybody. I'll be back.

Why don't you figure out what it is that you really want and just go after it?

Why hasn't your grandma called me back?

Why is there only $63 in here, Greg?

Why not?

Why were you sitting in a wheelchair?

Why?

Why? Where's yours?

Will you do me a favor?

With the ice cream man.

Wow, you're home so early.

Wow. You're kind of super bad at compliments.

Yeah, and she was super bossy.

Yeah, but you had a hard night with your grandma and everything.

Yeah, but you love blowing shit up, so...

Yeah, I am.

Yeah, I do. God help me, I do so love it.

Yeah, I think so.

Yeah, I'll see you in court!

Yeah, I'll watch him.

Yeah, I'm aware of that. I know that.

Yeah, I'm too busy watching you screw crusty old men in dirty hotel rooms.

Yeah, it's pretty cool.

Yeah, it's... It's cool. It's okay.

Yeah, karma.

Yeah, me either.

Yeah, nice jeans shorts.

Yeah, nice try. I'm not buying you beer.

Yeah, now who wins?

Yeah, Pearly filled me in.

Yeah, she fucked the wrong Allman Brother.

Yeah, she's always drunk.

Yeah, so was Hitler.

Yeah, we'll see.

Yeah, well, I own 22 of them.

Yeah, you are.

Yeah, you think? I think so.

Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah.

Yeah?

Yeah? Really? Does a quitter do this?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Bullshit. Don't you dare. Don't you dare.

Yeah. I bailed you out, but I'm gonna stay a little bit longer.

Yeah. I came back.

Yeah. I don't need them, but, um, I'm taking them.

Yeah. I got beer.

Yeah. I mean, you got the wind knocked out of you.

Yeah. I'm not too happy with Greg.

Yeah. It's probably complicated.

Yeah. Oh.

Yeah. Sweetie, it's a great bird.

Yeah. That's gonna do it.

Yeah. You were throwing them around last night.

Yep, I heard everything, and I am ready to go.

Yep.

Yep.

Yep.

Yes, I do remember you.

Yes, we're here. We found it. Yep, we're here.

You are at least 40 seconds fired...

You are gonna clean your shit up. You're gonna stop all this drinking.

You are no longer an employee of Topperjack's.

You are no longer an employee of Topperjack's.

You are really great.

You are really great.

You are too old to be this strong.

You break it, you buy it. You're lucky I don't call the police.

You can forget about me feeding your stupid cats, Missi.

You can't just bitch and moan and expect shit to change.

You can't run from the law.

You cannot leave me here. You come back here.

You could change the trajectory of your whole life.

You could've killed me. What are you thinking?

You dick. You know what?

You dick. You know what?

You didn't do it for the free ice cream, did you?

You didn't do it for the free ice cream, did you?

You don't have to go in there right now.

You don't know anything about me.

You don't smell it.

You don't wanna go back to that town. You deserve to have a little fun.

You got it. You got it.

You gotta be kidding me.

You gotta take the money back.

You gotta take the pies back.

You guys wanna get Cheetos?

You had intercourse with Jerry Miller?

You have got to stop yawning so much, Charlotte.

You have to argue about everything.

You hungry? You wanna eat my fist for din...?

You just don't know science.

You just... I think you should just slam that chainsaw down and be like:

You kidding me?

You knocked over a Topperjack's?

You know how shitty that was for a little kid? You left me all alone.

You know I like my girls a little bit older

You know I'd do anything for you

You know she's got diabetes and probably tons of other shit.

You know the ice cream guy, Jerry Miller?

You know we're at a prison. Okay?

You know what I mean? Ha, ha.

You know what I mean.

You know what? I can smell it from the parking lot. I think you're right.

You know what? If we die out here, we're just raccoon food.

You know what? Screw it. Give me a beer.

You know who she fucked? Duane Allman.

You know, for years you've been bellyaching and complaining about how your life sucks...

You know, gay hasn't always been in fashion, my friend.

You know, Grandma told me that she made a pass at you.

You know, I don't think...

You know, I get it.

You know, one time, I got fingered by Boz Scaggs.

You know, this is real cherry.

You know, uh... Ooh, wow.

You know, you get a little taste of Tammy, and then you...

You know, you never made me dinner. Not even once.

You know.

You look good.

You look good.

You look like crud. Oh, my God.

You look really pretty.

You look really pretty.

You look so softened.

You might in the future wanna say "bees to honey."

You need a cool off. Right?

You need to grow up, honey.

You never did appreciate nature.

You piece of shit.

You probably see quite a few.

You said "Come a running." I said "Keep the car running."

You said you weren't gonna drink.

You scratched my tongue.

You should be charging shit like crazy, because you're old.

You should wear a helmet. FYI.

You slept outside?

You start feeling sorry for yourself, and you come back and throw another fit.

You think I should try to rent a barrel and try to shoot the falls?

You think this house just fell on my head one day?

You two deserve each other.

You two sisters?

You wanna buy me a drink and slide some parts around?

You wanna buy me some drinks and get up in this?

You wanna go ride a cow?

You wanna go to prison for robbing a store?

You wanna think about going half?

You were my best friend, and you just left me.

You were right. This hot tub is awesome.

You, give me some pies. Give me some of the good pies. Hey!

You're a fugitive from justice. Think about it that way.

You're always talking about how much you wanna get out of that town...

You're done here. You better leave while you can.

You're done. You're drunk.

You're gonna get your ass kicked.

You're gonna wanna see this. Come on.

You're just being an asshole because you're drunk, and it's not okay.

You're just stunned, I think.

You're kidding, right?

You're late again. Do you own a watch much?

You're more bad ass than I ever thought.

You're not gonna die here alone. You're gonna die here with me and Don.

You're not that mysterious.

You're on your second Bloody Mary. It's not even 10 a.m.

You're pregnant.

You're right. I didn't mean to, you know...

You're taking your old people pills and stuff, right?

You're telling me.

You've got time. I've got money.

You've got your dad you're chasing after.

You've gotta be shitting me.

Your doctor says you have to take it easy.

10, 20...

23 cents. Sign here.

...and drive straight to Niagara Falls. Call me when you get to Lenore's.

...because I don't get it. Heh.

...in there. "Little pass"?

...some color TV or sex? Yeah. Mm.

...still be here. You could be dead. Get in the car.

"Mom"? It's complicated.

Aah! Poom!

Aah! Whoa.

All right, I will, Mom. Don't forget.

All right. Hi there.

All right. Let me just... No.

All right. Watch it. Oh, hey.

Alrighty. All right.

Always something with her. You fucking drunk.

And I got one more silver dollar One more silver dollar

And I would know because I'm a bark shark. Mm.

And I'll pop those plates, okay? Okay, what do you want me to do?

And I've got one more One more

Anyway... Kind of spiffed up, aren't you?

Are we really gonna do this again, Tammy? What?

Are you Keith? I'm Keith.

Are you serious? Ow. There was a bee.

Are you...? What?

Beep. Shit.

Better choice, still got zip. I'm just gonna do the ribs.

But I'm gonna take your car. What?

By the time they come to get it, you might not... Go in the car.

Bye, Mom. I don't think you do, because you...

Can you put it on before someone sees us? You realize how much it clogs your veins...

Come here. Aw. Is this little Tammy?

Come on. Oh. Aah!

Come on. Chop chop. We're coming.

Constant. Ma'am. Get...

courthouse grounds over the next two years...

Dad. Mm? What? What?

Dad. All right, enough! We're only at first base.

Did you at least get to meet Gregg? Of course. I got to meet him a lot.

Do it again! Yes.

Do it. Do it. There you go. Aah!

Do you believe that? I do.

Do you believe that? No.

Does that smell weird? No.

Don't go. Tammy. Grandma, I need your car keys.

Don't tell me what to do. Just get off the...

Ee! Oh, my God.

Eugene? Eugene's a drug dealer. Uh huh.

Fine. God.

For sure. I don't know.

Fuck you. Aw. Ow.

Get that out of your way. Sure. I am so hungry. Thank you. Mm.

Get your chin out. You do it... Rider

Give me your car keys, Dad. Tammy, wait!

Go, baby. Get on, Lenore.

Go, go. Just go. Okay.

Go. Don't walk right toward the gun. Sorry.

Goddamn it. Ooh. I'll get the door.

Grandma. Lenore's cool.

Grandma. No, don't. Ow. They're fine.

Ha, ha. I think we might just get lucky.

Ha, ha. It's not funny. I saw that on a show.

Ha, ha. Personally, I prefer the term "labisian."

Ha, ha. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm tired. No, I think you might be right.

Heh. It's not "okay."

Hello? Hey, it's me.

Hey, Grandma! Sorry, nobody's home.

Hey, man. How you doing? Hey. Good.

Hey, super old guy, where's Pearl Baizen? What?

Hey, Tammy. Hey, Greg.

Hey. Dick.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. It's been too long.

Hey. Hey. Where's Larry?

Hey. Oh!

Hi, Mom. Tammy, put Grandma on.

Hi. Hi, Pearly.

Hi. Thanks for the beer. What?

Holy shit, you guys are loaded. Tammy, that is so rude.

How about a beer? No.

How am I supposed to do that? It's not my problem, lady.

How'd you know about that? Fuck you.

I can guarantee you that. I don't think that's true.

I didn't mean "thank you." I didn't mean "you're welcome."

I didn't wanna screw that up. Oh, sweetie.

I don't know. Come on.

I don't think this is such a good idea. I do.

I don't wanna hit anybody. What was that?

I get it, Tammy. Poom. You get that?

I get that. Listen to me.

I got it. You're strong.

I guess we're goodbye ing again. Yeah.

I have to pee. Why didn't you go at the gas station?

I kind of got into them. Okay.

I like it. "Okay"? It's majestic.

I love this shirt. I know, but it's time to give it a little break.

I mean it. Okay.

I might. You might.

I need my beer. You got beer?

I swear to God. You do what you need to, baby.

I think of somebody who looks more like... Like me?

I think this is all of it. Just get over there.

I think you did. Come on. I'm gonna get you a drink.

I told you. Oh! You made me smell it.

I told you. Why did I do that?

I'll take that. Cool it, Jesse.

I'm Bobby Tillman. Yeah, you are. Huh.

I'm gonna pull over. You can go in the woods. Oh, no. No way.

I'm gonna remember that when you get old. Tammy.

I'm gonna take away the barbecue sauce. Oh, man.

I'm killing it on the dance floor. I know, you're dancing hard.

I'm not a quitter. Yes, you are.

I'm not afraid to hit a girl. Neither am I.

I'm not married. Let's light this candle.

I'm not wearing it. I just made it for you.

I'm not. Yes, you are.

I'm returning the money to you. I'm calling the police.

I'm sorry you got fired. Shut up, Missi.

I'm sorry. That... Uh uh.

I'm trying to help you with your business. Get in the car.

Is that blood? Yeah.

Is the bird named Pearl? Ha, ha. Yes.

It gets around Whoo!

It is. That's not even what a pattern is.

It was English. That wasn't English.

It's a concern. It's up there, but... Oh, Jesus.

It's A okay with me. Great.

It's incredible, right? Yes.

It's not fair. What the hell does fair have to do with it?

It's your middle finger. No.

It's, you know... I'm sorry. No. Don't.

Jesus. And we'll pull that trailer off.

Just get pie. You want some pies? I like pie.

Just get the drunk out of here. You know what?

Just give it to me. No!

Just go away. We're fine. God.

Just make it 1650. Round up. Okay.

Just wanted to mix things up a little. All right.

Let's go. This is mine.

Let's go. Bail's been posted. Okay. Let's go.

Let's go. Get in the car. We're going home. Home?

Let's see how you like getting left. Don't you leave me here.

Like that? Is that what you want? I, um...

Look at you. I love it. Really?

Love you. Bye. Don't hit me.

Mean you're... Yeah. All right.

Mom, I've got it, okay? Okay, great.

Mom. Tammy. You snooze, you lose.

Morning. Morning.

My God, they look really bad. They're fine.

Name? Tammy?

No, no, honey. It's not your fault. It is my fault.

No, you're not. She is old and not well. Then she doesn't need a car.

No. Yeah.

No. Heh. She's at Brookview. What?

No. I told you she was fine. Oh, God.

Not like that. Not like that. It's how it is.

Not that I know of. Well, they are fun. Come on, Penny.

Not, like, in a weird way. Rider

Oh, bingo. 119. You're right. 119. Yeah, great.

Oh, darling. How's your mom? Good, I think.

Oh, Deborah, unclutch. Goddamn it. I'm gonna call Brookview.

Oh, God. "Mark Twan National Forest."

Oh, God. Real, real, real shitty.

Oh, God. No, I'm returning it. She's returning the money.

Oh, I need your help with something. Is something hurting?

Oh, it's too late for that. Ha, ha. Come on. Ha, ha.

Oh, my God, I do too. I love wizards. Get out of town.

Oh, my God, what? She's dead.

Oh, my God. She's not dead.

Oh, my gosh. I'm a veteran.

Oh, no. No.

Oh, please. What've you ever done that's that cool?

Oh, shit, Grandma. Hi, my name is Pearl Baizen.

Oh, yeah. What? Mom.

Oh! I don't wanna know what that was.

Oh! Ha, ha. Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! I just told you not to look. Why did you look?

Oh. Aah, my elbow!

Oh. Yeah, that shit's contaminated now!

Oh. Come on, man. Let's go, ma'am.

Oh. Good grip. Thank you. Mm hm.

Oh. Hoo. Mm, mm, mm.

Okay. Hey, you. Get out here.

Okay. It's a good bird.

Okay. Whoo!

Okay. Sorry. Yeah. Okay?

Okay. We're having fun. All right, let's get the party going.

on, my God. What?

One. Two. I'm calling the cops.

Ow! Shit. Are you okay?

Ow. I'm Earl, and this is my boy.

Pay attention. Uh huh.

Prison agree with me? Heh. Heh. Yeah. Ha ha ha.

Put it on. You're killing me. All right.

Really, yeah. Yeah.

Really? Mm hm.

Really? Yeah.

Really? Yeah.

Remember that? That's good.

Right? Right.

Romantic. Yeah, it is.

See you, Bobby. See you, Tammy.

She didn't mean anything by it. I absolutely do mean it.

She got a sense of humor? Yes. Sometimes.

She's dead. She's not breathing at all. You can't be serious.

She's disgruntled. You know what?

She's not breathing. She's dead. What?

Shit. Don't move. Okay.

Shitty. Very shitty.

Sit. Okay, okay. I think she passed out.

Sixteen hundred dollars. What?

So glad you're home. Thanks for letting me stay here.

So how you liking Louisville? I love it. I love where I live, where I work.

So I never did get to see it. Oh.

So you wanna dance? No, they'll probably think we're a couple.

Stay hydrated. All right.

Sweetie, have fun. Bye. See you later, son.

Tammy Banks? Yeah.

Tammy, just get out. Enjoy the special sauce.

Tammy, listen up. What?

Tammy. I got it here.

Tammy. Yeah, I know she can't.

Thanks. Good luck.

Thanks. To your honey.

Thanks. Yeah. Of course.

That asshole is married! Come on, Dad.

That shit's medical. Listen!

That'll work, won't it? Oh.

That's a good call. Yeah.

That's a shitty thing to say. That's a very shitty thing to say.

That's amazing. Yeah.

That's how it's done. This is BS.

That's it. Better. Better. Der ner ner der ner ner, bom

That's okay. Crush it. You got it. I am not a quitter!

That's probably your cue. So... Yeah.

That's quite a coincidence. Huh? ...and 13 signature pies.

There's no bees here, ma'am. There was a bee.

They're still in the store. Bye.

This is gonna be a goddamn clinic. I can't wait. You show me, girl.

This way, baby. Grandma.

Those are beauties. Really beauties. Let's go. You're done.

Tsk. That was kind of aggressive.

Two. I told you you can't drink in here.

Ugh. What?

Uh, never mind. Yeah. Okay.

Uh... Nothing. Short list.

Um, whiskey. Jesus, no.

Valhalla! Valhalla!

Viking burial! Viking!

Wait, on his bike? That's Lance.

Wasn't it, like, Martha's or Mabel's? Merlin's.

We already checked in to a hotel. Give me my phone. Bye.

We need some ice, baby. Okay? Yeah. Fuck you, Earl.

We should talk about that shirt. Yeah, okay.

We'll fix it tomorrow. Yeah.

We'll see you tomorrow. Bye.

We're not going to see Lenore. Why?

Welcome, welcome. Thanks.

Well, I can move. Yeah.

Well, slow down, slow down. Okay, I'm sorry. Okay?

Well, thanks for fixing up my car, Dad. Oh, not a problem.

Well, that's not safe. No.

Well, your feet were really puffy... Yeah.

What are we gonna do for the party? Please don't wear that shirt to the party.

What are you doing? Give me my phone.

What are you doing? You were snoring and then you stopped.

What are you guys doing here? Pearl invited us.

What can I get for you? I'm gonna have the iced tea...

What were you thinking? What?

What, you packed a bag? Yeah.

What? Jesus.

What? Unh.

What? Yeah, I know.

What? Yeah.

What? Yes.

What's a good way? Oh, my God.

Where are we? We're in Missouri.

Where are you putting your 12? Straight ahead.

Where have you been? What?

Where the hell are we? Shh, shh, shh. Come here.

Where's Grandma? Outside.

Why Merlin's? Because I dig wizards, man.

Why you coming at me, like, out of the dark? I was... I'm sorry, I was just checking on you.

Why you coming at me, like, out of the dark? I was... I'm sorry, I was just checking on you.

Why's everybody being so quiet? We gotta go. Here we go.

Yeah, I won't. Mom. Please tell me you have your pills.

Yeah, I'm taller. Yes, you are.

Yeah, she did. Yes. She did?

Yeah, thanks a lot. You're welcome.

Yeah, that was great. Yeah.

Yeah, that's what I thought. I'm calling the police!

Yeah, there's a compliment in there. In there somewhere.

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah? You ready? Yes.

Yeah. All right.

Yeah. Because "flies on shit" would...

Yeah. Like, find a hot tub or...

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Really?

Yeah. Gay it up. What?

Yeah. Home. What?

Yeah. You did. Did I?

Yes, exactly. I need your badge back. It's not a badge.

You don't have to call the cops. I got her. Oh. Well.

You don't remember me, do you? No, I do.

You don't want all of it? No, just 1600.

You get it? Really? Ha, ha. Yeah.

You know what? What?

You know, I just don't wanna add to the... No, it's okay.

You like apple? I do like apple.

You looked great out there. Yeah. Oh.

You need to be more articulate. I have a bag on my head.

You put on man perfume to come and see me? No, I didn't put on ma...

You see anything? Oh.

You should maybe see a doctor. No kidding.

You wanna see some ID? Family album? Ha, ha.

You're a doer. I am a doer.

You're not getting my car unless you take me. No.

You're welcome. Okay.

Your parents were there. It's not the same.

...and they looked really messed up.

'Twas, indeed.

"Four thousand 800 bucks."

"Turn my honey."