Home Alone (1990) Edit

A house with this many people, there's no shampoo?

A lovely cheese pizza just for me.

A whole shoe box full of' em. Dangley ones.

Acey said 10%.

Acey said you had some dough for me.

After 6, 7 weeks, you know, he came around and started talking again.

Ah! I got ya!

All day. You know, and we went back at night when we came to our senses.

All right, Johnny, I'm sorry. I'm goin'.

All right, Johnny, I'm sorry. I'm goin'.

All right, Johnny. But what about my money?

All this time I've been worrying about it...

Allow me to introduce myself. Gus Polinski. How are you?

Amen.

And "D": We live in the most boring street in the United States of America...

And don't worry about your home.

And his kids are still going to school here, and I guess he missed the whole family.

And I can't be a wimp. I'm the man of the house.

And I don't want to see anybody else either.

And I found out it's not so bad.

And I know I heard that name Snakes before.

And I said I didn't care to see him anymore.

And I'll snap off your cojones and boil them in motor oil!

And now that I'm this close, you're telling me it's hopeless?

And see that he's all right, just to check on him.

And tell him we're coming home to get him.

And that you're all alone.

And that's not just because you're young.

And that's the one, Marvin. That's the silver tuna.

And the people who sold it on sale.

And they start asking us questions about a murder in the area.

And used cream rinse for that just washed shine.

And you can hurt them, and they can hurt you.

And you won't have to be afraid anymore.

And you're the only one who has to make trouble.

And, if he has time, my Uncle Frank. Okay?

And/or any other object that has become lodged in his throat?

Anyway, I'm rambling on here.

Anyways, uh, I had a few hits a few years ago.

Are those microwave dinners any good?

Are you afraid? Come on. Get out here.

Are you here all by yourself?

Are you okay, honey? Come here. Are you all right?

At least you'll know. Then you could stop worrying about it...

Attention! Attention!

Aunt Leslie stepped on one and almost broke her neck.

Aw, geez. If you have to get to Chicago, we'll gladly drive you.

Back in '58, he murdered his whole family and half the people on his block...

Basements are like that.

Be a good little fella now and open the door.

Because I really like my family.

Been hiding out in this neighborhood ever since.

Before I pump your guts full of lead.

Before I pump your guts full of lead.

Big fella! Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Little guy. Little guy!

Bless this highly nutritious microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner...

But everyone around here knows he did it.

But he's okay. You know, they get over it. Kids are resilient like that.

But he's so little and helpless. Don't you think he's flipped out?

But I did leave one at a funeral parlor once.

But I got it all figured out. Watch this.

But if you turn on the lights, it's no big deal.

But it's cold. A man's gotta do something to keep warm.

But they got nude beaches.

Buzz told you, cheek face. Toilet paper and water.

Buzz, don't be a moron.

Buzz, I'm going through all your private stuff!

Buzz, your girlfriend! Woof!

Buzz?

Buzz?

Buzz?

Can I sleep in your room? I don't want to sleep with Fuller.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Can you excuse us for a second? Can I see you for a second? Please. Excuse us. Come.

Check it out. All the houses with nobody home...

Check it out. Old man Marley.

Christmas

Chuck, this is Peter McCallister again, and we're still in Paris at my brother's apartment.

Come and get me before I call the police!

Come back here!

Come back here!

Come help me make up these beds in the living room!

Come on, you guys, it's Christmas. Kevin! Kevin, Kevin, my boy!

Come on!

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Hurry up.

Come on. Keep goin'. Keep goin'.

Come on. Let's get you home.

Come on. They're boarding.

Come on. This happens. These things happen. You know, you

Cool! Firecrackers! I'll save these for later.

Couldn't help but hearin' you got a little bit of a dilemma there.

Crowbars up.

Dad, can you come here and help me?

Dad?

Damn! How low can you get? Givin' Kris Kringle a parking ticket on Christmas Eve.

Deep down you always love 'em, but you can forget that you love 'em.

Did anyone order me a plain cheese?

Did I burn down the joint? I don't think so.

Did I get him? Did I get him?

Did I turn off the coffee?

Did you close the garage?

Did you lock up?

Didn't we talk about that?

Do it.

Do you hear me or what? Goin' on a trip?

Do you hear me? I'm not afraid anymore!

Do you know if it's cold there? Do these vans get good gas mileage?

Do you know the McCallisters are going to France?

Do you know what I should pack?

Do you know, is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association?

Does it have automatic transmission? Does it have 4 wheel drive?

Does Santa Claus have to go through customs?

Don't worry about me. I spoke to your husband already.

Don't you feel like a heel flying first class with the kids back in coach?

Don't you get lost.

Down here, you big horse's ass!

Eddie Let's just hope none of them write a book about him.

Eggnog? Listen, are you gonna be leaving, uh

Especially with an older brother.

Est ce qui un person qui parle anglais?

Even though sometimes I say I don't.

Ever since I laid eyes on that house, I wanted it.

Everybody who sees Santa has gotta get... somethin'.

Everyone in this family hates me.

Excellent. Excellent.

Excuse me, puke breath. I'm a lot smaller than you. I don't know how to pack a suitcase.

Excuse me. Ma'am!

Fasten your seat belts, please.

Fine. We'll put him somewhere else.

For pizza?

For the kids.

Forget it, Frank. We have cash.

Frank?

Friday morning? That's 2 days away.

Fuller! Go easy on the Pepsi.

Gee, kid, I don't know. Hit the road.

Gee, you wanna talk about bad parents? Look at Look at us.

Get over here!

Get over here!

Get some change out of here. Call everybody you know. Oh. Leslie.

Get that little

Go ahead!

Go ahead. I'm in your way. You have places to go, people to see.

Go back! Go back!

Go pack your suitcase.

Good bye, Kate.

Good bye.

Good to see you. Ah, you're all right. I love you. You okay?

Grab yourself a napkin. You're gonna have to pour your own drinks.

Hang up the phone and make me, why don't ya?

Harry, get up! Give me a hand!

Harry, help me! Get up!

Harry, it's our calling card.

Harry! I'm comin' in!

Has the child been involved in a violent altercation...

Has the child ingested any poison...

Have a good trip.

Have a good trip.

Have automatic timers on their lights.

He forgets his kids' names half the time.

He knows I hate sausage and olives and

He sounded like a snake.

He started it! He ate my pizza on purpose.

He walks up and down the streets every night...

He was in the garage again playing with the glue gun.

He'll call you when he gets out.

He'll call you when he gets out.

He'll pee all over me. I know it.

He's acted like a jerk too many times, and this time he caught it in the butt.

He's getting in his car. I guess if you hurry, you can catch him.

He's giving us this trip to Paris so we can be together.

He's gonna rent us a nice big, uh, van, and we're gonna drive to Milwaukee.

He's only a kid, Harry. We can take him.

He's upstairs taking a bath.

Heather, do a head count. Make sure everyone's in the vans.

Hello, Kevin!

Hello?

Hello? Hello?

Hello? Hello? Hello? She'll have to call you back.

Hello.

Help me out here!

Help. My house is being robbed.

Here are your seats. Five "A"and "B" and four "A"and "B. "

Here. Hold out your little paw there.

Here's my address book. You and Frank call everybody who lives on our street.

Hey, come on. Come on.

Hey, guys, check this out.

Hey, hey, hey! Get off. Kevin, out of the room.

Hey, hey, little boy.

Hey, listen, uh

Hey, watch out!

Hey, you know, we've been looking for you two guys for a long time.

Hey! Hey, kid!

Hey! Hey!

Hey! I'm not afraid anymore!

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Hey, big fella. Excuse me.

Hi, you've reached the Murphys. Please leave a message after you hear the beep.

Hi. I'm Mitch Murphy. I live across the street.

Hiya, pal. We outsmarted you this time.

Hold it, hold it. Let's wait and see who it is.

Hold on. I got a coupon for that.

Honey, the pizza boy needs $122.50, plus a tip.

Honey?

Hope we didn't forget anything.

House we were at last night, was that the McCallisters?

How am I supposed to shave in France?

How come you didn't bring more cheese pizzas?

How could we do this? We forgot him.

How may I help you?

How much do I owe you?

How you kids doin', huh? Good?

Huh?

Huh?

I am going to get home to my son.

I am trying to get home to my 8 year old son!

I came to hear my granddaughter sing, and I can't come and hear her tonight.

I can't believe you can't bump somebody or ask somebody

I can't make ornaments out of the old ones, with dry worm guts stuck on 'em.

I can't seem to find my toothbrush, so I'll pick one up when I go out today.

I can't wait that long.

I didn't fall asleep in the back of the cab and drool all over you, did I?

I didn't have time to do that.

I didn't mean it.

I don't care how mad I was, I'd talk to my dad...

I don't get it.

I don't know how to pack a suitcase. I've never done this once in my whole life.

I don't know.

I don't know. I don't I hope not.

I don't know. I'm just afraid he won't.

I don't think so.

I don't want a new family! I don't want any family! Families suck!

I don't want to see you for the rest of my life.

I don't want to sleep with Fuller. You know about him. He wets the bed.

I got a better idea. Come on.

I got him, Harry! Harry, I got him!

I got him!

I got some milk, eggs and fabric softener.

I have a friend who got nailed 'cause there was a rumor he wore dinosaur pajamas.

I have been awake for almost 60 hours. I'm tired and I'm dirty.

I have been from Chicago to Paris to Dallas to Where the hell am I?

I heard you had some problems here, uh, gettin' to Chicago to see your kid or somethin'?

I hope you're all drinking milk. I want to get rid of it. Hey! Don't you dare.

I made my family disappear.

I made my family disappear.

I mean, right now it looks like there's nobody home.

I ought to take this cane and

I promise. Good night.

I put 'em in the microwave to dry 'em off.

I really haven't been too good this year.

I said some things I shouldn't have.

I saw a hundred kids this week.

I say we go to Rob's, we can call the police, and they can get back to us.

I send her a check.

I tell you what I'm gonna give you, Snakes.

I tell you what I'm gonna give you, Snakes.

I think so. How you feel about your family is a complicated thing.

I think we're gettin' scammed by a "kindygartener."

I thought I recognized one of their voices.

I thought the Murphys went to Florida.

I thought you said they were gone.

I told you something's wrong. I knew he looked at me weird. Why would he run?

I took a shower, washing every body part with actual soap...

I wanted to let you know your power's fixed.

I was making ornaments out of fishhooks.

I washed my hair with adult formula shampoo...

I went shopping yesterday.

I wish my grandparents sent that. They always send me clothes.

I wish they would all just disappear.

I won't. Thanks.

I wouldn't let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass.

I'd like to slap him right in the face with a paint can maybe.

I'll kill him!

I'll rip his head off!

I'm a bad parent. I'm a bad parent.

I'm a criminal.

I'm begging you.

I'm desperate.

I'm dreaming

I'm free! Free! Free!

I'm going downstairs. Who stole my hair dryer?

I'm gonna bite off every one of these little fingers one at a time.

I'm gonna give you to the count of 10 to get your ugly...

I'm gonna give you to the count of 10...

I'm gonna kill that kid!

I'm Kevin McCallister, 671 Lincoln Boulevard.

I'm livin' alone!

I'm not that lucky.

I'm not welcome with my son.

I'm old enough to know how it works.

I'm sorry, but there's no way I can do that.

I'm sorry, Kate. Nothing but a bunch of answering machines.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Did you say you could help me?

I'm sure she misses you... and the presents.

I'm terribly sorry, ma'am, but we're doing absolutely everything we can.

I'm terribly sorry. I thought you were our Santa Claus.

I'm up here, you morons! Come and get me!

I'm very sorry, but it is Christmas Eve.

I've been kind of a pain lately.

I've got a question here about a toothbrush.

If he has something to drink, he'll wet the bed.

If he has something to drink, he's gonna wet the bed.

If I have to get out on your runway and hitchhike...

If I have to sell my soul to the devil himself...

If it costs me everything I own...

If it makes you feel any better, I forgot my reading glasses.

If you come back, I'll never be a pain in the butt again.

If you miss him, why don't you call him?

If you want to stay at the airport, maybe we can get you on a standby.

If you'll excuse me, this one's out of sorts. I'll be right back.

Including all my major crevices, including in between my toes and in my belly button...

Into mummies.

Is he still here? It's really important that I see him.

Is it true that French babes don't shave their pits?

Is that a fact?

Is that a fact? How much do I owe you?

Is there I mean

Is this a joke?

Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association?

It was in the paper this morning.

It's a gem.

It's an emergency. We really have to make a call.

It's dark, there's weird stuff down there, and it smells funny.

It's disgraceful! How can you allow a man

It's got lots of topflight goods.

It's in good hands.

It's me, Snakes. I got the stuff.

It's my brother's house. He'll take care of it.

It's not even rated "R." He's just being a jerk.

It's on the way to Milwaukee.

It's only my imagination. Only my imagination.

It's pretty cool that you didn't burn the place down.

It's Santa Claus and his elf.

It's too late for you, kid. We're already in the house.

It's too late. Get upstairs.

Jimmy! Stop that boy!

Julia, get some black coffee and plenty of it.

Just give it a shot. For your granddaughter anyway.

Just hung around.

Just like the ones I used to know

Kate, did you by any chance pick up a voltage adapter thing?

Keep the change, ya filthy animal.

Keep the change, ya filthy animal.

Keep the change, ya filthy animal.

Kev! Kevin, get a plate.

Kevin is home all by himself. I'm not leaving here unless it's on an airplane.

Kevin, I'm going to feed you to my tarantula.

Kevin, if Uncle Frank says no...

Kevin, you are such a disease.

Kevin, you're completely helpless.

Kevin!

Kevin? Kevin!

Kevin's at home. Mom's at the airport.

Larry, can you pick up? There's some lady on hold, sounds kind of hyper.

Last night the place is jumpin'.

Last year I got a sweater with a big bird knitted on it.

Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell out of here.

Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell outta here.

Leslie?

Let me connect you with Family Crisis Intervention.

Let me give you the number here, okay? The country code is 3 3.

Let's get out of here.

Let's get these passports out of here.

Let's see what house he goes into.

Listen, Kev, what are you so worried about?

Look at this.

Look out!

Look what you did, you little jerk!

Look what you did, you little jerk.

Look, honey, the kids are exhausted. You are exhausted.

Look, I told you before, kid, don't bother me. Now beat it.

Lot of action around here today, huh?

Ma'am, I'm 8 years old. You think I would be here alone?

Ma'am, if there was anything at all I could do for you today

Madame, we are doing everything we can.

Marv, what are you doing? Marv

May I sit down?

Maybe he committed suicide.

Maybe he's just trying to be nice.

Maybe somebody can help us.

Megan?

Megan? Linnie?

Merry Christmas, sweetheart.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Mes petites enfants, do you want a little shrimp, eh?

Miss. Young lady. Excuse me. Girls.

Mom!

Mom! Uncle Frank won't let me watch the movie, but the big kids can.

Mom?

Mom?

Mom?

Mom?

Mom?

Mom? Dad?

My address is 656 Lincoln Boulevard. My name's Murphy.

My brother in law drove in from Ohio today. It's just nuts.

My elf took the last of the candy canes home to her boyfriend.

My husband's brother transferred to Paris last summer...

My new fishhooks?

Never mind did you get it! How do you like it? Huh?

Never mind. Forget it.

Nice move always leaving the water running.

Nice tip. Thanks a lot.

No clothes on anybody. Sickening!

No good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead.

No good keister off my property...

No offense, but aren't you a little old to be afraid?

No toys. Nothing but Peter, Kate, Buzz, Megan, Linnie and Jeff.

No way.

No, he's just home alone! I would like somebody to go over to the house...

No, I'd love to.

No, I'm not!

No, no. It's Christmastime. There's always a lot of burglaries around the holidays.

No, no. We got some nice presents for you.

No, please don't hang up. Please, don't Any luck?

No, the kids are fine.

No, tomorrow, egghead. Now!

No, you just made it.

No? That's okay. I thought you might've recognized

No.

No. For 3 reasons.

No. I did.

No. We couldn't get anybody.

No. Why should they? All kids, no parents. Probably a fancy orphanage.

Not enough evidence to convict.

Not for me, kid. I don't live here.

Nothing available. May I help you get a hotel room in the city?

Now get back and get dressed.

Now it'll just be a matter of time before he does it again.

Now we know each and every house that you've hit.

Now you're dead!

Now?

Number 664 will be going on...

Number 672...

Of a white

Of course it's a good idea. Snakes?

Oh, all right.

Oh, baby, they couldn't come. They wanted to so much, but

Oh, boy, that's it, you little you little son of a

Oh, I'm sorry. This house is just crazy.

Oh, it's very "G."

Oh, Kevin, I'm so sorry.

Oh, no, I'm really scared!

Oh, no. Oh, thank you.

Oh, not this time, you little brat.

Oh, this kid.

Oh, we took the morning flight. Remember? The one you didn't want to wait for.

Oh, yeah, we did. But if you want any...

Oh, yeah. Well, we have automatic timers for our lights, locks for our doors.

Okay, okay.

Okay, okay. We'll send a policeman over to your house to check on your son.

Okay, that's 122.50.

Okay, we'll check it out first. We can always come back for the truck.

Okay?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Half in this van, half in this van. Come on. Let's go.

Okay. I know you're not the real Santa Claus.

Okay. I'll see what I can do.

Only flying I ever did as a kid was in the family station wagon, and it wasn't to France.

Oper Do you speak English?

Or shove a nail through his foot.

Other than that, I'm in good shape.

Our flight was canceled, so we gotta drive.

Our phones are out of order, so I'd like somebody to go to our house...

Ow!

Ow!

Ow! I got him!

P.S. You have to sleep on the hide a bed with Fuller.

Pack my suitcase?

Parlez anglais?

Pete's brother and his family are here. Oh, it's crazy.

Peter, I'm gonna call the police. Why don't you book us a flight home.

Peter, Kate, do you guys have a voltage adapter?

Peter!

Phone lines are a mess. Gonna take Ma Bell a couple of days to patch 'em up.

Pick up those Micro Machines that are all over in there.

Pizza!

Pizza! Pizza!

Please! Our brother's home alone.

Plus a ring, a watch, a pocket translator, $500 and

Polka king of the Midwest?

Probably lookin' at some very fine jewelry. Possible cash hoard.

Put them in your purse!

Remember that kid we saw the other day? He lives here.

Right about... now.

Right... now.

Rod? Uncle Frank?

Salting the sidewalks.

Santa, hold on!

Santy don't visit the funeral homes, little buddy.

Scranton.

See that garbage can full of salt?

Shake his hand and say, "Congratulations, you're an idiot"?

She's about your age.

Shit.

Shoot!

Shoplifter!

Shoplifter!

Shut it, Marv!

Shut up.

Shut up. I gotta take a head count.

Snakes? Snakes, Snakes.

So let's take it one step at a time, okay?

So, uh, see the guy in the yellow jacket over there by the Budget sign?

Some don't.

Somebody beat us to the job. They're in there!

Somebody pick up. Pick up!

Someone has to find an open store. We don't have milk.

Sometimes I even think I don't. Do you get that?

Son of a

Stay up there. I don't want to see you for the rest of the night.

Stop it, will ya! Come here!

Sure.

Swear to it?

Tell me, have you ever gone on vacation and left your child home?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. Oh, thank you.

Thanks, Buzz.

That house is the only reason we started workin' this block in the first place.

That little

That smart aleck.

That sort of thing. It's bothered me for years.

That we didn't do something.

That's a good idea.

That's it! That's it! I'm goin' around the front! You go down the basement!

That's my granddaughter up there. The little red haired girl.

That's my granddaughter up there. The little red haired girl.

That's true. I've always been afraid of our basement.

That's where he keeps his victims.

The area code is 1 4.

The captain's doing all he can. Your phones are still out of order.

The cars are still here. They didn't go to the airport.

The dope was whining about a suitcase. What am I supposed to do?

The Kenosha Kickers?

The kids are okay. They're having the time of their lives.

The little trout can use a couple of days in the real world.

The only thing they have is a booking for all of us on Friday morning.

The passports! Watch it!

The salt turns the bodies...

The snow

The two first class seats that's an upgrade from your coach

Then I made myself go down there to do some laundry...

Then it must be really bad.

Then maybe you should ask Santa for a new family.

Then we can smash his face with an iron!

There are 15 people in this house. You're the only one that has to make trouble.

There are 15 people in this house...

There he goes! There he is! Get out of the way, you dope!

There he is!

There you go. Don't spoil your dinner.

There's a lot of things going around about me, but none of it's true.

There's absolutely nothing more we can do in this airport.

There's no one home. The house looks secure.

There's no way on earth we're gonna make this plane. It leaves in 45 minutes.

They all told me from their own mouths.

They never found the bodies.

They're sending a policeman over to the house to check on Kevin.

Think positive, Frank. You be positive. I'll be realistic.

This gal has offered us two first class tickets if we go Friday.

This house is so full of people, it makes me sick!

This is it. Don't get scared now.

This is my house. I have to defend it.

This is ridiculous. Only a wimp would be hiding under a bed.

This is so pointless.

This way!

This year I'd rather have some clay dough."

To Dallas Fort Worth.

To get your ugly, yellow...

To get your ugly, yellow...

To hear sleigh bells In the snow

Tomorrow afternoon we can get you a flight to Chicago.

Too bad Acey ain't in charge no more.

Two of' em. They was arguing. One of' em blew the other one away.

Uh, Joe over there Gosh, you know, he

Uh, my son. He We left and he's there.

Uh, that'll be 11.80, sir.

Uh, that's why, you know "Polka, Polka, Polka"?

Uh, yeah, yeah, fill it up, fill it up. Fill it up, please.

Um, well, what about the money?

Uncle Frank, is this a joke?

Us to go back downstairs through his fun house so we get all tore up.

Very "G, " huh? It's loaded.

Village Police Department.

Wait a minute. How did you guys get home?

Wait, son, you have to pay for that toothbrush. Son?

Wait, wait, wait, wait. He wants us to follow him.

Watch it. You never know what's up there.

We didn't forget him. We just... miscounted.

We got a crisis ourselves.

We have the $500, the pocket translator...

We know that you're in there...

We lost our tempers...

We slept in!

We took care of everything. Believe me, we did.

We used to have to go over to Aunt Laura and Uncle Arthur's house.

We work this neighborhood too.

We'd better get out of here before somebody sees us.

We'll call as soon as we land, Kate. I'm sure everything's okay.

We'll come back tomorrow. Maybe they'll be gone by then.

We'll do exactly what he did to us. I'm gonna burn his head with a blowtorch.

We'll go around back to the basement. Follow me.

We'll go to the back door. Maybe he'll let us in. You never know.

We'll see what happens.

We'll unload the van. We'll get a bite to eat. We'll come back about 9:00.

We're checking the neighborhood to see if everyone's taking the proper precautions.

We're leaving the house at 8:00 a.m. on the button.

We're not gonna hurt you.

We're the "Wet Bandits."

We've got all these extra kids running around.

Well, actually, first we're going to Missouri to pick up my grandma.

Well, I don't know.

Well, if he's the Shovel Slayer, how come the cops don't arrest him?

Well, this is the place to be if you're feeling bad about yourself.

What a funny guy. What else did you do while we were away?

What about another airline?

What are we gonna do to him, Harry?

What are we gonna do to him, Harry?

What do you mean by drinking? You know it's not allowed!

What happened?

What if he won't talk to me?

What is the matter with you?

What kind of mother am I?

What makes you say that? Just out of curiosity.

What money?

What? What happened?

What? What? What?

What's he doin' now?

What's next? Rabies shots for the Easter Bunny?

What's so funny?

What's so funny? What are you laughin' at?

What's the matter?

When do you come back? Not till then?

When I grow up and get married, I'm livin' alone!

When I grow up and get married, I'm livin' alone!

When those guys come back, I'll be ready.

Where are you, you little creep?

Where is everybody else?

Where is it? Where is it?

Where nothing even remotely dangerous will ever happen, period.

Where those treetops glisten

Where you goin', kid?

Where? It's my gold tooth. My gold tooth! I'll kill him!

Where'd he go?

Which I never did before, but sort of enjoyed.

Which way?

Who is he?

Who is it?

Who's gonna feed your spider while we're gone?

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

Why do I always get treated like scum?

Why don't you just tell him it's approved?

Why is he goin' faster?

Why should I be?

Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?

Why the hell'd you take your shoes off?

Would you please tell him that, instead of presents this year, I just want my family back.

Wouldn't it be nice to have a face to go with their questions?

Wow.

Wow. This is great.

Yeah, come on, kid. Open up.

Yeah, it was it was terrible too.

Yeah, we sold about 623 copies of that.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. He's a kid. Kids are stupid.

Yeah. Kids are scared of the dark.

Yeah. Yeah. We Some fairly big hits for us.

Yeah. You and your son.

Years back, before you and your family moved on the block...

Yeehaw!

Yellow, no good keister off my property...

Yes!

Yes!

Yes! Yes!

Yes! Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes!

You better come out and pound me!

You better come out and stop me!

You bomb me with one more can, kid...

You can be a little old for a lot of things.

You can get beat up for wearing something like that.

You can say hello when you see me. You don't have to be afraid.

You can say hello when you see me. You don't have to be afraid.

You did it again, didn't you?

You ever heard of the South Bend Shovel Slayer!

You got a ticket there. That's good. Excuse me. Look.

You gotta be kiddin'. You wanna come back tonight?

You guys give up, or are you thirsty for more?

You guys going out of town? We're going to Orlando, Florida.

You guys, put the stuff upstairs.

You kids are in coach. We're up here.

You know mom's gonna pack your stuff anyway.

You know, I was all distraught and everything. You know, the wife and I...

You know, Kevin, you're what the French call les incompetents.

You know, you're one of the great cat burglars of the world, Marv.

You left the water runnin', didn't you?

You little creep, you, where are you?

You think about what I said.

You want to try it? Go ahead. Try it.

You went shopping? He doesn't know how to tie his shoe, and he's going shopping?

You? Shopping?

You'd better run along home where you belong.

You'd better run along home where you belong.

You'd feel pretty sad if you woke up tomorrow morning and you didn't have a family.

You're afraid of the dark too, Marv. You know you are.

You're dead, kid.

You're never too old to be afraid.

You're not worried that something might happen to him?

You're not. You know, you're beating yourself up there, you know.

You're right. They're gone.

You're sick, you know that? You're really sick.

You're what the French call les incompetents.

You've probably got traveler's checks that don't work in France.

Your Santa Claus is intoxicated.

Ziggy over there He doesn't even He's never even met his kid.

1, 2, 10!

1, 2, 10!

1, 2, 10!

2: We have smoke detectors.

5 boys, 6 girls, 4 parents, 2 drivers and a partridge in a pear tree.

5 families gone on one block alone.

6, 7, 8...

9, 10, 11.

10 pizzas times 12 bucks.

671 ... now.

911 Emergency.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

"Polka Twist." These are songs?

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 11, 92, 12.

9:00. This way it's dark then.

19.83. Okay.

All right? Okay.