Bridget Jones's Diary (2001) Edit

A bit snowy, isn't it?

A mini break means true love.

A mini gherkin, stuffed olive?

A strange creature from the time...

A very, very foolish mistake. Forgive me.

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! No!

Aah! Oh, bugger!

Aah! Oh, Christ, not again.

About a particular person who embodies all these things.

Absolutely not.

Actually, I'm busy.

Actually, nobody got interviews.

Add a lovely sense of occasion.

Ah, Natasha.

Ah, yes, Mark.

Ah, yes, well, he had to work, so...

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. A part from the smoking and the drinking...

Ahh!

Ain't no mountain high enough

Ain't no mountain high enough

Alcohol units...

Alcoholics, workaholics, commitment phobics...

ALEX: I was hoping that you would want to be a part of it.

Alex.

All over your face?

All right, Cleaver, outside.

All right.

All right.

All right. Hang on.

All right. Well, that’s a shame. I just, uh...

ALL SINGING: Happy birthday to you

ALL: Aah!

ALL: Hi, it's us!

ALL: To Bridget...

ALL: To Mark and his Natasha.

Always put last night’s panties in the laundry basket.

Am also something of a genius in the kitchen as well.

Am appalled by message.

Am daughter of broken home...

Amazing.

An appallingly bad public speaker.

And a dull bastard.

And action.

And always saying...

And asks me the question dreaded by all Singletons.

And be found three weeks later, half eaten by Alsatians.

And Chaka Khan.

And dresses like her mother.

And eating the entire contents of one's fridge...

And especially will not fantasize...

And eventual eating by dogs... or not.

And fannies about with the press releases.

And fanny around with press releases.

And for various slightly unfair reasons...

And get sprugged up, you know, old girl?

And going to my mother's annual turkey curry buffet.

And he said he liked her just the way she is.

And he's perfect.

And helpful in the kitchen...

And here to introduce it is Mr. Tits Pervert.

And here to introduce it, ha...

And I feared this year would be no exception.

And I haven't actually got anything of my own.

And I just think that in the end...

And I just wanted to say... likewise.

And I seriously believe that you should...

And I think...

And I'd finally die fat and alone...

And it all began, of course...

And Jeremy's partners from chambers.

And left him broken hearted.

And Lord Archer...

And make them into what we call a book, Jones.

And normal...

And not continue to form romantic attachments...

And not orange parfait in sugar cages.

And now it's Thursday.

And of the novella, you know?

And off it comes in your hand.

And really very reasonably priced and...

And rubbish at every thing and...

And start a diary...

And stuff, but has he ever actually...

And tell me more about practicing French kissing...

And the female...

And the vulgar mother and the verbal diarrhea.

And then we print out all the pages...

And then what?

And then, uh... nothing.

And therefore thinks she's in charge of me.

And they fought for five years to keep him here.

And this is a very silly little dress.

And this time, I choose not.

And try and fatten it up a bit.

And used to play naked in my paddling pool.

And we couldn't be prouder of him...

And we, in turn...

And whip you up in his arms, then sod him.

And you know last night when I said that I loved you?

And you really are...

And you tend to let whatever's in your head...

And your sexy see through blouse...

And, Jude, what would you do if one of your assistants...

And, of course, the problem...

And, um...

And, um...

And, well, the jewellery is fabulous...

And...

And...

ANDY WILLIAMS SINGING: ♪ I need you, baby ♪

ANDY WILLIAMS SINGING: ♪ Let me love you ♪

ANDY WILLIAMS SINGING: ♪ You're just too good to be true ♪

Another part of it falls spectacularly to pieces.

Anyone going to introduce me?

Anyone going to introduce me?

Anyway, at least.

Anyway, fuck him. Listen, don't let him ruin our evening.

Appalled by management's blatantly size is attitude...

Apparently, I used to run 'round naked...

Apparently, she and this tangerine tinted buffoon...

Are suddenly an item.

Are you that chap that sang that song?

ARETHA FRANKLIN SINGING: ♪ Just a little bit ♪

ARETHA FRANKLIN SINGING: ♪ What you want ♪

ARTFUL DODGER SINGING: ♪ I feel surrounded, confounded ♪

ARTFUL DODGER SINGING: ♪ Why don't you leave it there? ♪

As a demonstrator on his cable show.

As prostitutes and priests on a Sunday afternoon.

As well as ruby weddings.

At "Sit Up, Britain"...

At the "Kafka's Motorbike" thing...

Awful. [Laughs]

Ay, ay.

Back to the studio.

Bastards.

Because I was defending him...

Because I'm passionately committed...

Because I'm thrilled to announce...

Because that's a very good story.

Because they're thinking of shutting us down...

Because you don't have the faintest bloody idea...

Because, honestly, I don't see what could be so important.

Because...

Before I introduce him.

Best man at his wedding.

Between you and me, I'm not entirely sure...

Big case...

Birthday... thirty three.

Bizarre what some men find attractive.

Bollocks.

Both political and ecological.

Bridge, this is Hugo and Jane.

Bridge...

Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess...

Bridget Jones, where are you?

Bridget Jones.

BRIDGET, DRUNK, SINGING: Ohhh

Bridget, we've fucked up utterly.

BRIDGET: 14p for the Polos and packet of Wheat Crunchies.

BRIDGET: Aah!

BRIDGET: Aah! No!

BRIDGET: Actually, not my uncle.

BRIDGET: Ah, here we go.

BRIDGET: Ah, introduce people with thoughtful details.

BRIDGET: Ah, Perpetua.

BRIDGET: Ah, yes, well...

BRIDGET: Ah.

BRIDGET: Am suddenly hard headed journalist...

BRIDGET: And a few weeks later, it got lots worse.

BRIDGET: And so I made a major decision.

BRIDGET: And that was it. Right there.

BRIDGET: And that was it. Right there.

BRIDGET: And, Eleanor, over to you.

BRIDGET: At least now I'm in my thirties...

BRIDGET: At times like this...

BRIDGET: Bollocks!

BRIDGET: Can we just, um...

BRIDGET: Daily call from Jude. Best friend.

BRIDGET: December 25.

BRIDGET: Emergency summit with urban family...

BRIDGET: Excellent. I'm a national laughing stock.

BRIDGET: Great. I was wearing a carpet.

BRIDGET: He’s also protecting me at Uncle Geoffrey's...

BRIDGET: Hmm. Looks like Auntie Shirley...

BRIDGET: Hmm. Major dilemma.

BRIDGET: Hoo. Ding dong.

BRIDGET: Huh.

BRIDGET: Hurrah. Am no longer tragic spinster...

BRIDGET: I intend to.

BRIDGET: I just have something that I want to say.

BRIDGET: I've got another party to go to.

BRIDGET: It all began on New Year's Day...

BRIDGET: It's the truth universally acknowledged...

BRIDGET: Ladies and gentlemen...

BRIDGET: Maybe not.

BRIDGET: Maybe not.

BRIDGET: Maybe this was the mysterious Mr. Right...

BRIDGET: Message Mr. Cleaver.

BRIDGET: Mm mmm.

BRIDGET: Mr. Fitzherbert... Tits Pervert, more like.

BRIDGET: Mustn’t read too much into it, no.

BRIDGET: My mum...

BRIDGET: No! No!

BRIDGET: No.

BRIDGET: November9. Weight... 138pounds.

BRIDGET: Oh, joy. I am broadcasting genius.

BRIDGET: Oh, well, here we go.

BRIDGET: Oh.

BRIDGET: Ohh. Daniel.

BRIDGET: OK.

BRIDGET: Ooh! Wish me luck!

BRIDGET: Or maybe I'm wrong.

BRIDGET: Perpetua... slightly senior...

BRIDGET: Season of mist...

BRIDGET: Shazzer... journalist...

BRIDGET: Shut up, please. I'm very busy and important.

BRIDGET: Stay calm. Can't get any worse.

BRIDGET: Stop it.

BRIDGET: That'll be my taxi.

BRIDGET: That's how I got my man.

BRIDGET: Total poof, of course.

BRIDGET: Uh, and now...

BRIDGET: Uh, and now...

BRIDGET: Um... it's a blip.

BRIDGET: Very bad start to the year.

BRIDGET: We've had very good response...

BRIDGET: Well, still, could be a golden opportunity.

BRIDGET: What are we going to do about this dinner, then?

BRIDGET: What for?

BRIDGET: What've you done?

BRIDGET: Whoo!

BRIDGET: Yes, but I'm not quite sure...

BRIDGET: Yes, well, you know, Mum...

Bridget.

Bridget.

Bridget.

BRIDGET'S INNER VOICE: [Whispering] Tits Pervert.

Bugger off!

But at least I got a hell of a lot of work done.

But I see I may have come at a bad time.

But I think you'll find that by contract...

But if staying here...

But proper girlfriend of bona fide sex god...

But thank you for the lovely dinner.

But there's no need to leave.

But they couldn't be more wrong.

But they just can't seem to hold down a chap.

But this is someone you hate, right?

But you're a nice man...

But you’re just as bad as the rest of them.

But your whole future happiness now depends on how you behave...

By 11:00.

By a bad man and an American stick insect.

By the by, that man is gorgeous.

By the way, the Darcys are here. They brought Mark with them.

By the way, the Darcys are here. They brought Mark with them.

By this woman, Eleanor Heaney...

Bye, Mum.

Bye.

Bye.

Can only say that it has failed parlously.

Can you remember the rest of this?

Can't give anymore

Can’t live

Celebrating by cooking birthday feast for close friends.

Certainly, sir.

CHAKA KAHN SINGING: ♪ I can cast a spell ♪

CHAKA KAHN SINGING: ♪ Of secrets you can't tell ♪

Cheat!

Chech nya!

Christ, is that blue soup?

Cigarettes... three.

Circulate.

Cleave.

Coitus is brief and perfunctory...

Come and look at your gravy, Pam.

Come on, get your stuff.

Come on, it's...

Come on, kids.

Come on, Mark. Be helpful, please.

Come on, you're working too hard, mate.

Come on.

Come on. Why don’t we see if Mark fancies a gherkin?

Come out of your mouth...

Come the fuck on, Bridget.

Comes into the store to have his colours done.

Continuing with one's life seems impossible...

Cosmo and Woney.

Cosmo and Woney.

COSMO: Never dip your nib in the office ink.

COSMO: Seriously, though.

COSMO: Still going out with that publishing chappie?

COSMO: You really ought to hurry up...

Cruel race.

Dad, get in.

Dad, get out. Too slow!

DAD: I don't know.

DAD: What?

DAD: Your mother’s trying to fix you up with some divorcee.

DAN: This is totally insane.

DANIEL: All right, all right, all right.

DANIEL: And over we go.

DANIEL: Apparently F.R. Leavis is coming.

DANIEL: At least stay for a birthday drink...

DANIEL: Bridget, I'm really sorry.

DANIEL: Bridget.

DANIEL: Hey, Darce, come on in!

DANIEL: I feel... terrible.

DANIEL: I know you're thinking...

DANIEL: I thought you might be on your own.

DANIEL: I'll see you upstairs in a second.

DANIEL: Just promise me we don't have to sit...

DANIEL: Message Jones.

DANIEL: No. The meeting's first thing tomorrow.

DANIEL: Now these are very silly little boots, Jones.

DANIEL: Oh! You broke my bloody jaw!

DANIEL: Outside?

DANIEL: Right.

DANIEL: So, um, how about a drink at my place?

DANIEL: Uhh.

DANIEL: Wow.

DANIEL: You've written "a searing vision..."

Daniel.

Daniel.

Daniel. The New York office for you.

Darcy.

Darling, if I came in with my knickers on my head...

Deeply apologetic.

Defending the basic human rights...

Definitely an occasion for genuinely tiny knickers.

Delicious.

Did I really run round your lawn naked?

Did the others get interviews?

Did you fancy Kafir the first time that you saw him?

Didn't get the message, either.

Didn't know you were coming.

Didn’t tell you, either.

Disaster.

Do you have any children of your own?

Do you love me?

Does nothing work outside of London?

Does she have to go to the funeral?

Doilies, Pam? Hello, Bridget.

Don’t worry. You're not the only one.

Done what?

Down here in Lewisham.

Dum dum dee dum, dum dum dee dum dum

Dumped me.

Easy listening for the over thirties.

Eat up. Two more lovely courses to go.

Ecch.

Editor in Chief, Daniel Cleaver.

Eleanor Heaney and Kafir Aghani have come and gone.

End up in flagrante...

Enough.

Enough.

Equally important...

Every hour on the hour.

Every time I see you, and you really needn't bother.

Everyone knows diaries are just full of crap.

Exactly.

Excellent fire station.

Excellent speech.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

F for England...

F for the people of England...

Fair enough. Start on Monday.

FATHER: He also, incidentally...

FATHER: Ladies and gentlemen...

FATHER: So I ask you now...

Featuring someone called Aghanihini.

Finds the pair of them in a most unorthodox position...

Fine physical specimens...

Fine. That’s fine.

Finely slice oranges and grate zest.

First, look gorgeous.

Fitzherbert, uh...

FITZHERBERT: Thank you, Brenda.

For a moment?

For bar mitzvahs and christenings...

For being totally spineless.

For coherent discussion of career crisis.

For fuck's sake.

For the whole of the Nineties.

Forget everything... particularly, forget about Mark Darcy.

Four hours of careful cooking and a feast of blue soup...

Frankly, I'd rather have a job wiping Saddam Hussein's ass.

French. Have it oeuf. Ha ha! With the wisecrack egg peeler.

Friends of yours?

From Newcastle, Swansea, Sheffield, and Lewisham...

From the Home Shopping Channel.

Fuck 'em. Fuck the lot of them.

Fuck me, absolutely enormous panties.

Fuck me, that hurt!

Fuck me.

Fuck.

GABRIELLE SINGING: ♪ Knew the sight ♪

GEOFFREY: Bop, bop.

GERI HALLIWELL SINGING: ♪ It's raining men ♪

Get dressed.

Get yourself down to the high court.

Give me just a minute.

Given your past behaviour.

Go, go. Go, go. Go!

God, so...

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon.

Good bye, Bridget.

Good luck, crazy girl!

Good night, Daniel.

Good night.

Good point. It's a very hard one to call.

Good start.

Good, good. That's very useful, very useful.

Good.

Great.

Great. Come on up.

Great. It's, um... blue.

Greatly increase by wearing these.

Greer.

Guest list for launch party.

Ha ha!

Ha. Tricky. Very tricky.

Had enough, Darcy?

Had gone out of the window.

Haha. Don't be shy, madame.

Half our friends have had them around to bloody dinner.

Hang on a minute, Jones.

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday, dear what's his name

Happy birthday.

Happy New Year, Mr. Fitzherbert.

Has been slightly overlooked professionally.

Has she actually moved out then?

Have a drink.

Have been blessed with our son, Mark.

Have been seduced by informality...

Have bottom the size of Brazil.

Have sneaking suspicion...

Have we got the most fantastic surprise for you.

Have you got a boyfriend? A real one?

Have you heard this one?

Have you spoken to my dad?

Have your lovely grownup club of two...

He didn’t deserve it, actually.

He had a filthy temper.

He has just been invited to be a senior partner...

He was a mate.

He wouldn't notice.

He's a barrister. Very well off.

He's a nasty bastard.

He's also still deranged. I'm not going.

He's divorced, apparently.

He's never dumped Bridget for some naked American.

Head of investment at Brightlings Bank...

Heh heh.

Hello, Bridget.

Hello, darling.

Hello, Julian.

Hello, Mummy.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Here.

Hey, Bridge, how's your love life?

Hey, Bridge, you looked fantastic.

Hey, there.

Hey, to keep me from you

Hey, to keep me from you

Hey, TV queen.

Hi, Mum.

Hi, there.

Hi, Uncle Geoffrey. Ha ha.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. I'm Tom. It's really good to meet you at last.

Hideous Tarts and Vicars fancy dress party.

His wife was Japanese. Very cruel race.

Hmm? Apparently not.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm. Well, the weakness of their case...

How do you know?

How interesting.

How's it going?

How's it look?

How's my little Bridget?

However, chances of reaching crucial moment...

Huh?

Huh.

Huh. What an idiot.

Human rights barrister. Pretty nasty beast, apparently.

Hurry up, Bridge!

I already feel like an idiot most of the time anyway...

I also think it's very important...

I am so sorry.

I am the intellectual equal of everyone else here.

I begged him not to say anything.

I believe there are just four of you not involved.

I bet you did, you dirty bitch.

I brought Natasha. Get a bit of work done.

I came with a colleague.

I can't believe you said what you said you said.

I can't deny the sex is still very surprising.

I can't make it with anyone.

I can't stop thinking about you...

I can't stop thinking about you...

I couldn't say, in all honesty, I've ever quite forgiven him.

I decided to take control of my life...

I didn't mean it.

I didn't. It must've been my parents.

I do realize what I'm like sometimes.

I don't know what you ever saw in him.

I don't know, Pam.

I don't know.

I don't know. I was having a slash.

I don't think you're an idiot at all.

I don't understand it.

I don’t know, being American and all...

I had to make sure that next year...

I have an idea. Let me finish this...

I have to say, this really is the most incredible shit.

I have, Father. I have.

I haven't really got time right now.

I hope he's good enough for our little Bridget.

I just can’t do it. I've got to head back.

I just close my eyes and listen...

I just don't know now.

I just panicked.

I just told you why I'm here.

I just want to staple things to her head.

I just wanted a bit of a chat.

I just wanted to know if you were available...

I know I will be OK

I know that.

I know.

I like you very much.

I like you.

I made the somewhat catastrophic mistake...

I mean, I know it's been awkward as ass...

I mean, I meant it...

I mean, obviously, with some effort on your part...

I mean, there are elements of the ridiculous about you.

I mean, there’s been all these bloody hints...

I mean, you seem to go out of your way...

I mean...

I must go, because...

I oughtn't go into it with you.

I owe you an apology about Daniel.

I realize that when I met you at the turkey curry buffet...

I realized I'd forgotten something back home.

I really am sorry.

I really, really wanted to see a friendly face.

I should get a taxi.

I should've guessed, shouldn't I?

I should've knew it!

I spent thirty five years cleaning his house...

I suddenly realized that unless some thing changed soon...

I suspect he does not fantasize about me.

I take it you're also heading for the Alconbury's rockery.

I think he was actually trying to flirt...

I think I can say with total confidence absolutely not.

I think it's going to need sieving.

I think it's time you and I put this past behind us.

I think that deserves a toast, don’t you?

I think we should pack, shouldn’t we?

I think you know what I mean.

I think, basically, Latin music is on its way out.

I thought it might be fun if you introduce me...

I thought that you were in America.

I thought with the company being in so much trouble and all...

I understand that perfectly.

I want a hard headed interview.

I want to hear this, because if she gives one inch...

I want you sliding down the pole...

I wanted you to be the first to know that...

I was being ironic.

I was going to live a life where my major relationship...

I was in London at a party last night...

I was just buying you a new one.

I was just dozing off, and I felt this huge...

I was just saying Geoffrey didn't contact you, either...

I was thrilled that little Kurdish bloke was set free.

I will go home and de bunny.

I will not be defeated...

I wouldn't end up shit faced and listening to sad FM...

I...

I...

I... I will pay.

I'd fire you, Bridge.

I'd like a word before you leave tonight.

I'll be in some seedy bar with some seedy blonde.

I'll be right with you.

I'll do it.

I'll go.

I'm 36years old. It may be my last chance to have a child.

I'm a terrible disaster...

I'm delighted to hear it.

I'm going mad.

I'm going now. Bye.

I'm going to Bedfordshire.

I'm going to fire her bony little bottom anyway...

I'm having dinner with Magda and Jeremy.

I'm here, Richard.

I'm joking, you daft cow.

I'm like Germaine sodding Geer.

I'm like the grasshopper who sang all summer.

I'm not willing to gamble my whole life...

I'm obviously interrupting a...

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, all right?

I'm so thrilled to be living in Britain today.

I'm sorry if I've been...

I'm sorry, Bridge. I know I'm being a prat.

I'm sorry, Dad.

I'm sorry, I have to have another look.

I'm sorry?

I'm sorry?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm not quite fine...

I'm still looking for something...

I'm terribly sorry to interrupt you...

I'm too needy.

I'm wearing something quite similar myself.

I'm well.

I'm your child, too.

I've been asking myself the same question.

I've been going crazy.

I've been offered a job in television.

I've got no life at all.

I've got no power, no real career...

I've got to leave my current job because I've shagged my boss.

I've laid out something lovely on your bed.

I’d been waiting my whole life to meet.

If actually do, by some terrible chance...

If he didn't leap over the family heirlooms...

If he wanted to come on a mini break to Paris...

If living is without you

If you ask me, there isn't enough blue food.

If you have to travel alone, travel in style.

If you look like you've wandered out of Auschwitz.

If you spent the entire party flirting with other women...

If you've changed your mind, you could just say so...

Ignore Daniel, and be fabulous with everyone else.

In "Fatal Attraction."

In 1993 by Her Royal Highness the Duchess of Kent.

In a lovely mock gold finish.

In any little boats and read poncey poetry to each other.

In Chechnya? isn’t it a nightmare?

In every situation.

In fact, stop talking, full stop.

In genuine diamante with two pairs in lapis lazuli...

In his paddling pool.

In his speeches.

In manner of Grace Kelly.

In my thirty second year of being single.

In several countries.

In this impertinent manner.

Incorporating the Hallelujah Chorus...

INNER VOICE: Tits Pervert!

INNER VOICE: Tits Pervert.

Instead, I choose vodka...

Introduce people with thoughtful details...

Is a particular festive favourite of mine...

Is going to be something else in law as well.

Is it?

Is some people's opinion of Kafka...

Is that Cleaver chap still as cute as ever?

Is that it really only applies to him.

Is there someone here?

Is this absolutely stunning...

Is your work, Salman?

Is, uh, the man we all call, uh...

Isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Isn't it terrible about Chechnya?

Isn't it terrible about Chechnya?

It didn’t work out with Daniel Cleaver?

It doesn't help that you and Bridget...

It has something to do with confidence and being so...

It tastes like...

It was my wife...

It would drive Mum wild with jealousy.

It's a pleasure, Jones.

It's a real fight!

It's been very hard.

It's got to be something extraordinary...

It's just a sex thing, but I promise you...

It's just that...

It's like a whole theory of short fiction...

It's like you said.

It's not exactly...

It's not you. You're lovely.

It's only a diary.

It's positively Vonnegut esque.

It's quite pervy, really.

It's really... really very good.

It's single people.

It's such a terrible pity...

It's very quiet here, isn't it? Are we the only guests, or...

It's Vile Richard.

It's what I call an all arounder...

JAMIE O'NEAL SINGING: ♪ All by myself ♪

JAMIE O'NEAL SINGING: ♪ When I was young ♪

Jesus.

Joanne and Paul...

Jones. Sod 'em all.

Jones...

JUDE: All I asked... I only asked...

JUDE: Close the door.

JUDE: No. Come on, let's go. No.

Julia and Michael...

Julian thinks I've got great potential.

JULIAN: And what a lovely bracelet.

JULIAN: Paying off this heart shaped pendant.

JULIAN: The earrings measuring just over a centimetre...

JULIAN: The exact replica of those worn at Wimbledon...

JULIAN: This baroque carriage clock...

JULIE LONDON SINGING: ♪ You are all long for ♪

Just as she is.

Just as she is.

Just as you are?

Just give me a minute, will you, Simon? Thanks.

Just give me a moment, all right? Just...

Just give me five minutes.

Just give me one more hour, OK?

Just give me time. Give me time.

Just poised for tragedy.

Just slow down. It started on Tuesday...

Just stir it, Una.

Just switch this on.

Just top person, really.

Keep me from you

Kiss you good bye. Do you mind?

Ladies and gentlemen.

Ladies and gentlemen...

Lara, this is Bridget.

LARA: I thought you said she was thin.

Let me get a moment's break here, OK?

Let's go back upstairs.

Let's see, shall we?

Like all normal people.

Like me and you...

Likes to say "fuck" a lot.

Listen, I am feeling really bad, actually.

Listen, uh...

Listen, we got a little problem...

Listen, you don't know where the loos are here, do you?

Look at this.

Look, Bridge, stop that.

Look, I'm going to arrange a lovely car...

Look, um...

Look...

Looking for the moment to commit and finding it really hard.

Lots of smug married couples.

Lovely dress.

Lovely, lovely, lovely.

Made a harmless little mistake like that?

MAGDA: And, obviously, you know, of course...

MAGDA: This is Alistair and Henrietta...

Mainly... poofs.

MAN: Quite delightful, isn't it, my dear?

MAN: So, why do you want to work in television?

MAN: That doesn't sound like Martin.

Many years later...

Mark will be there... still divorced.

Mark, stay. We...

Mark, we really are making progress on the case in here.

Mark, why did your wife leave you?

MARK: Bridget?

MARK: Daniel Cleaver.

MARK: I came to congratulate...

MARK: I have a plan.

MARK: I very much enjoyed...

MARK: No, but blue is good.

MARK: Packet of Embassy, please.

MARK: Well, well.

Mark!

Mark!

Mark!

Mark!

Mark?

Mark?

Mark?

Mark.

Mark's a prematurely middle aged prick...

Mark's a top barrister.

Mark's, obviously.

Marmalade.

Matching necklace and earring set.

Maybe this time Mum had got it right.

Maybe we should just go upstairs for a minute.

Me, you.

Means working within 10 yards of you...

Mellow fruitlessness.

Merry Christmas, Pamela.

Mike's not... work... working. Ahem.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Mmm, delicious.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Yeah.

More extraordinary than that.

More than nice.

Morning. I need that "Kafka's Motorbike" release...

Mortified to have caused offence.

Most of the time...

Mother, I do not need a blind date.

Mr. Darcy, you were defending Mr. Aghani.

Mr...

Mr...

MRS. DARCY: Apparently...

MUM: And now it's the winter of my life...

MUM: Julian.

MUM: Oh, don’t be silly, Bridget.

Mum. Hi.

My dear...

My favourite.

My heart.

NARRATOR: The male penetrates the female and leaves.

Natasha is a top attorney and specializes in family law.

NATASHA: Mark, your father wants to begin A.S.A.P.

NATASHA: So how autobiographical...

NATASHA: You do the boats, I'll do the tea.

Natasha.

NEVILLE: Oh, no. We're going to Newcastle first.

New Year's resolution... drink less.

Next night?

Nice boys don't kiss like that.

Night, night.

No current plans to record anything else.

No one ever gets sacked for shagging the boss.

No problem. Fine. Right.

No, actually, there is.

No, do you think people will notice?

No, I don't remember.

No, I don't think I will.

No, I understand that.

No, it didn't.

No, no, don't apologize. I like them.

No, no, I was best man at his wedding.

No, no, I'm sorry...

No, no, no.

No, no.

No, Pam, and besides, I'm busy.

No, well, you wouldn't, would you?

No, you’re not.

No? Come on, then.

No. I didn't spend as much as Bernard, thank God.

No. I got to know her pretty well...

No. I like you very much... just as you are.

No. I've never seen them before in my life.

No. Not once.

No. Tomorrow's the launch.

No... no sex life.

Not in your bunny girl outfit to day?

Not quite, if that's all right by you.

Not that fantastic, sadly, no, but still pretty good.

Not that I'm aware of.

Not thinner? Not cleverer?

Not to see my favourite reindeer jumper again...

Not too fast.

Not with slightly bigger breasts and a slightly smaller nose?

Not.

Not. [Laughter]

Nothing can distract me from my dedication...

Nothing can keep me

Nothing.

Now, look, how do you know Arsey Darcy?

Now, nice firm grip.

Now, run upstairs.

Now, then, Miss Jones, where does this go?

Number two...

Obviously except for your books, Mr. Rushdie...

Of course it doesn't need sieving.

Of course it is. Of course it is.

Of course she's not coming.

Of course.

Of his own people, and today's verdict...

Of introducing him to my fiancée.

Of messaging medium into flirting with office scoundrel.

Of Mum and Auntie Una in fishnet tights.

Of the wounds our century has inflicted on...

Off they run. Whee!

Offices full of single girls in their thirties...

Oh, and quit smoking. Mmm. Ha.

Oh, and...

Oh, bloody hell. Wait a minute. He's back.

Oh, Bridget.

Oh, Christ, no. Yuck!

Oh, damn.

Oh, does he? Right.

Oh, for Christ's sakes.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, God, yes.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. I'll be sacked.

Oh, God. They're going to be here any minute.

Oh, he comes from Garth and Underwood.

Oh, I don't know.

Oh, it's just that, ahem...

Oh, it's string soup?

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, just sod off.

Oh, no. You're not going to sing.

Oh, now, listen, I'll tell you what.

Oh, over, over. totally fucking finito.

Oh, right.

Oh, right. Yeah.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. It must've been the string.

Oh, that's exciting.

Oh, this is Bridget Jones for "Sit Up, Britain"...

Oh, thousands.

Oh, yes, he did.

Oh, yes.

Oh!

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. And, uh...

Oh. Hmm.

Oh. Is he a friend of yours, Mark?

Oh. Well, I'm glad you asked that.

Oh...

Oh...

Ohh!

Ohh! Ohh!

Ohh! Ohh!

Ohh! Whoops.

Ohh.

Ohh. Mmm.

Oi!

Oi!

OK, Bridget, see if you can get it right this time.

OK, circulate, oozing intelligence.

OK, everybody, it is bonfire night...

OK? Pop this in your mouth, darling.

OK.

Omelette, and marmalade.

On a full blown mini break holiday weekend.

On a Sunday?

On someone who's...

On this one social occasion.

On traditional masculinity.

Once again, I found myself on my own...

One in three.

One of my own personal recommendations...

One of the top thirty books of our time.

One, two.

Ooh, Fitzherbert, Fitzherbert, Fitzherbert.

Ooh! Fuck!

Ooh! I must wiz.

Ooh.

Ooh. Oh, I see.

Oozing intelligence.

Or I was about to turn into Glenn Close...

Or two people called Kafir Aghani and Eleanor Heaney.

Ouch! Careful, you ham fisted cunt!

Our entire bodies are covered in scales.

Ow, ow, ow, ow!

Ow! Gooh!

P.S. How dare you sexually harass me...

P.S. Like your tits in that top.

Pam, I just don't work without you.

PAM: Christmas Eve, Mark comes home early from work...

PAMELA: Ah, anyone else want to have it off?

Particularly not with some verbally incontinent spinster...

Passport, Bridget. And pants.

Peeping toms, megalomaniacs...

Perfect.

Perhaps, despite appearances...

Perpetua is one of my work colleagues.

Perpetua, how's the house hunt going?

PERPETUA: Quite frankly, there isn’t room...

PERPETUA: That's quite ridiculous.

PERPETUA: What do you mean you're going on holiday?

Perpetua. Ha.

Perpetua's a fat ass old bag...

Plus forty two mince pies.

Poor little skirt.

Poor Mark. It's always a bad time of year for him.

Pop out there...

Possibly the worst book ever published.

Post modernist masterpiece of oratorical fireworks, really.

Potential for what?

PRETENDERS SINGING: ♪ If I split like light refracted ♪

PRETENDERS SINGING: ♪ Once in a while ♪

Probably the best answer.

Properly, ha ha...

Put it in the hole. And...

Put on some more makeup. I want you on camera.

Relating to this year's Christmas party...

Resolution number one... ohh...

Rethink the length of your sideburns.

RICHARD: I'm thinking... miniskirt.

RICHARD: Just wind 'er up.

RICHARD: Neville, what the fuck is going on?

Right o, boss man.

Right there. That was the moment.

Right there. That was the moment.

Right, everyone. This is Bridget.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Right. I'll just pop to the shop for some ciggies.

Right. No pressure, Bridge...

Right. You asked for it.

ROSEY SINGING: ♪ Love ♪

ROSEY SINGING: ♪ Oh, love ♪

ROSEY SINGING: ♪ This time decide ♪

RUSHDIE: "Of the wounds our century..."

RUSHDIE: I could be wrong. What do you think?

RUSHDIE: You know, it's an amazing thing...

Ruthlessly committed to promoting justice and liberty.

Salman.

Salman. Salman.

Same. Yeah.

Say hi to Julian.

Scary stomach holding in panties.

Searching for tuna.

Seems inevitable.

Seems unnatural, wrong even, for60 year olds to dress up...

SHAZZER: Go, Bridget!

SHAZZER: Happy, happy birthday!

SHAZZER: Look, are you coming to fucking Paris or not?

SHAZZER: Really. It's very nice.

SHAZZER: Say...

She lives just 'round the corner from you.

She ran off with his best friend from Cambridge.

She realized that I hadn't got over you.

She was very frightened.

She's a British aid worker. He's a Kurdish freedom fighter.

She's married to him...

She's supposed to be sliding down the pole...

She's used to run around your lawn...

SHELBY LYNNE SINGING: ♪ Did you miss me? ♪

SHELBY LYNNE SINGING: ♪ In the dark ♪

SHELBY LYNNE SINGING: ♪ Make it mine ♪

SHELBY LYNNE SINGING: ♪ Mmm, mmm ♪

SHELBY LYNNE SINGING: ♪ What did you say? ♪

Silly Bridget.

Since we're amongst friends...

So childish.

So committed that he's taking me...

So how do you feel about this whole situation...

So I'm afraid I'm a bit hung over.

So I've got to leave in about, ooh, three minutes...

So if you wanted to pop by sometime...

So it would seem.

So that means that people write things for us...

So, um...

So, where’s this chap of yours, then, eh?

So, why do you want to work in television?

So, you drop into shot...

So.

So.

So...

So...

Someone who insists I call him uncle...

Something which makes us go that extra mile.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

Sorry?

Sorry?

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry. Lumpy gravy calls.

Sorry. One moment.

Sorry. The, uh...

Stark naked, a tit like rabbits.

Still no fellow, then, eh? I don't know.

Stop. Stop the car. Stop the car.

String, string, string.

String.

Stuck his fucking tongue down your fucking throat?

Such a great legal brain.

Such as, "Sheila...

Suddenly feel like screen goddess...

Suggest management sick, not skirt!

Super. Thanks, Uncle G.

Suppose it doesn't help that underneath our clothes...

Surely not. Just stir it, Una.

Takes with him his brilliant partner in law...

Tch. Brenda, listen.

Terribly brill.

Than on this particular day...

Thank you for calling, Professor Leavis.

Thank you for coming to the launch of...

Thank you for inviting me.

Thank you, Daniel. That is very good to know...

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks.

That ends in divorce now or one in three?

That I was unforgivably rude and wearing a reindeer jumper...

That is his name.

That Julian isn't a bit of a shit.

That might be nice.

That my mother had given me the day before.

That Sunday in the country...

That the moment one area of your life starts going OK...

That thing you just did is actually illegal...

That was fantastic.

That would've been tantamount to a death sentence.

That you win this costume competition.

That, um...

That's a matter of principle.

That's an order, Jones.

That's not a good enough offer for me.

That's not the Pamela I knew. That's cruel.

That's the one.

That's why you always acted so strangely around him...

That's wonderful.

The caterers have totally screwed up.

The Darcys' ruby wedding party.

The door was open.

THE DRAMATICS SINGING: ♪ Goin' on and on and on and on ♪

THE DRAMATICS SINGING: ♪ Mrs. ♪

The F.R. Leavis who died in 1978?

The F.R. Leavis...

The government want to extradite him home...

The gravy needs sieving.

The hotel and that weekend, meeting your parents.

The man's actually turned red now.

The new face of British current affairs.

The only problem is the kitchen.

The only thing worse than a smug married couple...

The person who waltzes in in a see through top...

The sort of thing one can wear with anything to any occasion.

The thing is, darling, I'm...

The truth is, we’re the same, Bridge, you and me.

The up to the moment and in depth news...

The verdict in the Aghani Heaney case is expected today.

The way she looked at me.

The whole truth.

Then I think a well timed blow job's...

There are lots of prospects here for a talented person.

There goes my invite to the Darcys' next year.

There you are, dumpling.

There's no easy way to say this, but, um...

There's nothing to be embarrassed about.

These are, uh...

These days, Bridget?

They are the future.

Third drawer from the top, Una.

This book is a searing vision...

This can't be just shagging.

This has been Bridget Jones for "Sit Up, Britain"...

This is Lara from the New York office.

This is Mark Darcy.

This is Natasha Glenville and Mark Darcy.

This is Natasha Glenville and Mark Darcy.

This is only a temporary glitch.

This is Penny. Geoffrey didn't get in touch with her, either.

This is the worst of the three.

This.

Thought I might make it a not entirely wasted weekend.

Tie flavour enhancing leek and celery together with string.

Time to make a new start, perhaps.

Time's a running out. Tick tock.

To any of the following...

To be honest, darling, having children...

To Bridget...

To charge your glasses once again...

To come and pick you up and take you back...

To communicating to the public...

To communicating with children.

To give up and accept permanent state of spinster hood...

To London after the party, OK?

To lose one of our top people.

To lose...

To pay a bit more attention to me.

To save the man she loves from an extradition order...

To take your skirt out for dinner...

To tell the truth about Bridget Jones...

To tell you that the Tarts and Vicars concept...

To the Teddy Knows Best teaser campaign

To try to make me feel like a complete idiot...

To Una Alconbury's Tarts and Vicars party.

Today is the decision.

TOM: Are you joining us?

TOM: Cheat! Cheat!

TOM: Close it down.

TOM: Exactly.

TOM: Really special.

TOM: Stop being so bossy.

TOM: Well done, Bridge.

Tonight's another classic.

Torture.

Total scoundrel, apparently.

Totally innocent, no funny business...

Trapped in the lady's toilet, crying over fuck wit boyfriend.

Tsk. [Sighs]

Turkey curry.

Turkey curry.

Two... then totally ignore Daniel and suck up to famous authors.

Ugh. He's just a big knobhead with no knob.

Uh, Chief Officer Bevan, thank you very much.

Uh, congealed green gunge.

Uh, no, no.

Uh, no, not as such.

Uh, should I bring my duelling pistols or my sword?

Uh, tell me, is it one in four marriages...

Uh, this is Mark Darcy.

Uh, what I mean is, uh...

Uh, yes. In the hallway.

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Uh... do you know...

Uhh!

Uhh! Uhh!

Uhh.

Uhh.

Uhh.

Um, a long term relationship, is it?

Um, knew him from Cambridge.

Um...

Um...

Um...

Um... keep yourself busy. Read something.

UNA: Ah, Bridget, there you are.

UNA: Tick tock, tick tock.

UNCLE GEOFFREY: So... how's your love life?

UNCLE GEOFFREY: There she is.

Under the mini gherkins.

Unless that Bosnian family has moved in again.

Up their fucking asses.

Up, down, up, down.

Us. Working together, sleeping together.

VAN MORRISON SINGING: ♪ I've been searching' a long time ♪

VAN MORRISON SINGING: ♪ I've been travelling a hard road ♪

VAN MORRISON SINGING: ♪ Keep me satisfied ♪

VAN MORRISON SINGING: ♪ Someone exactly like you ♪

Very exotic.

Very popular with grannies the world over.

VOICE: You have no messages.

Wait a minute.

Wanker.

Was attempt to demonstrate presence of skirt...

Was quite enough to get him laid...

Was still the height of sophistication.

Was that... F.R. Leavis?

Was that... F.R. Leavis?

Was with a bottle of wine...

Washing his clothes, bringing up his children.

We belong together, Jones.

We bunnies only wear our tails on very special occasions.

We can have blue soup to start, orange pudding to end, and...

We could have another go.

We could just pop into the party for a minute.

We have a wedding this weekend.

We're engaged.

We've decided we're taking you to Paris for the weekend.

We’re freezing our bollocks off out here!

Weight... 140 pounds...

Welcome to the launch of "Kafka's Motorbike"...

Welcome to the launch of "Kafka's Motorbike"...

Well done.

Well, almost nothing.

Well, anyway, I'm not having it. And I've been talent spotted.

Well, apart from being very disappointed...

Well, bye, everyone.

Well, close up, he was almost purple.

Well, for main course, we have...

Well, I can see that I've been labouring...

Well, I just think you should know that, um...

Well, I realized I'd forgotten to, um...

Well, I thought it might be a charitable thing...

Well, I'd better...

Well, I'm sure he'd say the same about you...

Well, in the end, that’s not the ad line we've gone for.

Well, not quite sure.

Well, quick!

Well, she loves you, really.

Well, that is, of course, the major reason...

Well, that seems to be about all we've got time for...

Well, that’s a pretty big age difference.

Well, the truth is...

Well, uh...

Well, um, then...

Well, um...

Well, we’ve... become very close.

Well, what about Julia?

Well, what about Lara?

Well, yes, I was, but, um...

Well, you know...

Well, young, you know?

Well.

Well...

Well...

Well... better dash.

What a gripping life you do lead.

What about tomorrow?

What about you?

What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

What are you doing tonight?

What brings you here?

What do you think?

What for, indeed.

What happens at the office?

What I'm trying to say very inarticulately is...

What is your problem?

What the fuck do you think you're doing?

What?

When a gherkin...

When we were in the New York office together.

When you're having dinner. It's just that...

Where are all the other tarts and vicars?

Where he'll certainly be executed.

Where the fat people beat up their relatives.

Where the fuck is the fucking tuna?

Where the toilets are, huh?

Whether you like it or not, OK?

Which are also very good.

Which was?

While he gropes my ass...

Who can be calling now?

Who cannot cook, but who we love...

Who only wrote one hit record...

Who smokes like a chimney, drinks like a fish...

Who spends her time bossing me around.

Who wrote "Mass Civilization and Minority Culture"?

Who?

Who's Julian?

Whoa, fellas ♪

Whoa. Just hold it right there, Miss Jones.

Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Why are you here?

Why do you want to be in television?

Why don't you have some more wine...

Why the Prime Minister doesn't mention it more...

Why was Mark "Wanker" Darcy here?

Why, Mark, I know you by reputation, of course.

Will find nice sensible boyfriend to go out with...

Will persevere with resolution to find a nice sensible man.

Will put a stop to flirting... first thing tomorrow.

Wish I could be lying with my head in the toilet...

With a cruel racedex wife.

With a posh voice and a bad character.

With a very bad man between her thighs.

With caper berry gravy.

With helpful fashion and romance tips.

With Martin's definition of the novella...

With me and Bridge, huh?

With no idea who I am or what I do.

With or without a fireman's pole.

With Penny Husbands Bosworth, poor thing.

With some bushy haired, middle aged bore...

With some very irresponsible e mailing...

With the other girls at school...

With, let’s face it, a bit of a crush now, actually.

Without much consideration of the consequences.

WONEY: Yes. Why is it...

Yeah, but he also shagged Daniel's fiancée...

Yeah, listen, I just came to, uh...

Yeah, tell them I'll get back to them.

Yeah, well.

Yeah?

Yeah. Just the keys.

Yeah. Yeah, of course.

Yep, pants.

Yep, yep, yep.

Yes, certainly.

Yes, I like to think so.

Yes, it is... so what are you waiting for?

Yes, of course.

Yes, of course. I'll be right there.

Yes, that’s right.

Yes, well, Kafir Aghani has spent his entire life...

Yes, well, perhaps it's time to eat.

Yes, well, that was, actually, the point.

Yes, yes.

Yes, yes. I hate him.

Yes?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. Fill her up, God damn it.

Yes. He's behaving most bizarrely.

Yes. He's clearly the most dreadful cold fish.

Yes. I can't understand...

Yes. Nine years ago.

Yes. Very good idea.

Yes. Yes, I am.

Yes. Yes, it was me.

You career girls. Can't put it off forever.

You couldn't get enough of me.

You do know the Aghani Heaney case?

You don't need to protect him. He's no friend of mine.

You give the impression of being all moral and noble...

You haven't only just met her.

You know, his assistant.

You know, his Japanese wife left him on Christmas Day.

You know, perhaps for personal reasons...

You know, the other night, quite unexpectedly...

You know, this is the Americans flying in...

You know? We're two people of a certain age...

You like me just the way I am.

You look like a common prostitute.

You love each other.

You must be delighted.

You remember Bridget.

You remember Mark.

You see, it's a publishing house.

You should write to him about it.

You staying at your parents' for New Year?

You stupid ass.

You swan in in your short skirt...

You used to play in his paddling pool.

You were such a lovely normal colour.

You wouldn't by any chance have any beet root cubes?

You wouldn't really miss...

You'll never get a boyfriend...

You're begging for it.

You're expected to give at least six weeks notice.

You're haughty, and you always say the wrong thing...

You're looking very sexy, Jones.

You're not going to America, then?

You're staying here?

You're the only one who can save me, Bridge.

You're very bad.

Your mother's pretty interesting.

Your... your chair is on my wife's coat.

Your... your chair on the...

Yours aren’t bad, either.

Yummy.

All right? Enough.

And, Brenda... Yes?

Daniel. Yes, Bridget?

Do you love me? Shut up, or I'll do it again.

Evening, Kenneth. Good evening, Daniel.

Great song. Thank you so much.

Have you heard from Mark Darcy? Good bye, Mum.

Hello there. Hi.

Hello, Dad. Hello, darling.

Here, I'll show you. No. No.

Hi, Bridge. Hi, Bridge.

Hmm. Maybe you can come, too.

Hmm. Had a drink? No.

How odd. Ha ha.

Hurry. What's your hurry?

I should've been there today. No, I'm sorry.

I'll see you in a sec. Excellent.

I'm boarding you, Bridge. Don't you dare!

I'm king of the world! No!

It wasn’t French kissing. Don't care. Make it up.

Mind the step. She's fine. Drive on.

More vodka? No.

My problem? Yes.

No. No.

not climbing up it. Go, go, go, go, go!

Not. Oh, oh.

Oh To keep me from you

Oh, ho Ain't no valley low enough

Oh! Oh, Jesus Christ.

Oh. Oh. Ha.

Omelette it is, then. Ah.

Ooh Ain't no river wide enough

Sit yourself down. Right.

So... ha. So.

Thank you, madam. Mmm.

That is caper berry gravy. Oh, yes. Yeah.

They're too good to be true. No.

This. Aah!

Uh... Ohh...

Uhh. Uhh.

Yes. Mmm.

You? Oh, no, no, no.

...wife and companion Geraldine.

"and pissed all over the ceiling."

"Daniel enjoys publishing and comes..."

"has inflicted on traditional masculinity.

"Positively Vonnegut esgue." Obviously.

"She lay on her back and opened her crack...

"Sheila enjoys horse riding and comes from New Zealand.

"The Greatest Book of Our Time."

"There was a young woman from Ealing...

"This is Daniel. Daniel, this is Sheila.

"What's silly old Mummy gone and done this time?"

"who had a peculiar feeling.

["Here Comes the Bride" plays]

["It's Raining Men" playing]

["Peter Gunn" continues playing]

[Bang] Oh, bollocks.

[Blows]

[Both laugh]

[Both laugh]

[Breathes deeply]

[Breathes deeply]

[Bridget laughs]

[Bridget laughs]

[Bridget opens door]

[Bridget sniffles]

[Car horn honking]

[Chuckles, sighs]

[Chuckles]

[Clears throat]Anyway...

[Clock chimes]

[Continues indistinctly]

[Crowd murmurs]

[Crowd yells]

[Ding]

[Ding]

[Distant siren]

[Door closes]

[Door closes]

[Door closes]

[Door closes]

[Door opens]

[Doorbell buzzes]

[Doorbell buzzes]

[Doorbell buzzes]

[Doorbell rings]

[Drops bag]

[Elevator bell dings]

[Faint laughter]

[Father taps glass with silverware]

[Feedback]

[Footsteps]

[Gasps]

[Gasps] Blue?

[Grunts]

[Guitar plays]

[Hangs up]

[Humming Wedding March] Dum dum dee dum

[Indistinct chattering]

[Inhales]

[Knock on door]

[Laughing]

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Laughter]

[Laughter]

[Laughter]

[Laughter]

[Laughter]

[Laughter]

[Light applause]

[Man laughs, people chattering]

[Mark sets down silverware]

[Microphone not working]

[Mild applause]

[Music playing]

[People chattering]

[People chattering]

[Revs engine]

[Ring ring]

[Ring ring]

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

[Singing] Ding dong, merrily on high

[Singing] My little Bridget

[Sobs]

[Sobs] Oh, Colin.

[Song stops]

[Speaking native language]

[Telephone rings]

[Telephone rings]

[Turns off TV]

[Whispering] Good luck.

[Yelling, honking car horn]

♪ Ain't no mountain high enough ♪

♪ Ain't no river wide enough ♪

♪ Ain't no river wide enough ♪

♪ Ain't no river wide enough ♪

♪ Ain't no valley low enough ♪

♪ All by myself ♪

♪ All by myself ♪

♪ All the time ♪

♪ And all at once ♪

♪ And all at once ♪

♪ And fall right in ♪

♪ And now I feel ♪

♪ And now I've met Miss Jones ♪

♪ And out again ♪

♪ And sky ♪

♪ And we'll keep on meeting ♪

♪ And we'll keep on meeting ♪

♪ Any time you feel danger... ♪

♪ Anymore ♪

♪ Anymore ♪

♪ Baby, I got ♪

♪ But keep on tryin' ♪

♪ By you ♪

♪ Can’t take my eyes off of you ♪

♪ Catch my self ♪

♪ Did you miss me? ♪

♪ Did you miss me? ♪

♪ Do you really ever love ♪

♪ Does it ever puzzle you ♪

♪ Don't be afraid to help yourself ♪

♪ Don't wanna be ♪

♪ Don't wannabe ♪

♪ Ecstatically astounded ♪

♪ Emotionally dumbfounded ♪

♪ Every day ♪

♪ For a while ♪

♪ For someone exactly like you ♪

♪ From the spell ♪

♪ Got a girl who can really use her brain ♪

♪ Hallelujah, it's raining men ♪

♪ Hallelujah, it's raining men ♪

♪ Have you asked why you seem ♪

♪ Head over heels ♪

♪ Hey, to keep me from you ♪

♪ I could drown if I stay here ♪

♪ I feel fantastic, bombastic, ecstatic... ♪

♪ I feel surrounded, confounded ♪

♪ I get tired ♪

♪ I lost my breath ♪

♪ I never needed anyone ♪

♪ I owned the earth ♪

♪ I was stupid ♪

♪ I'll do it naturally ♪

♪ I'm every woman ♪

♪ I'm only off to wander ♪

♪ I'm thinking about the fireworks ♪

♪ I've been travelin' all around the world ♪

♪ I've been travelling all around the world ♪

♪ It's OK ♪

♪ Just a little bit ♪

♪ Keepin' busy ♪

♪ Let it in ♪

♪ Like a fool ♪

♪ Love, love ♪

♪ Miss Jones and I ♪

♪ Miss Jones and I ♪

♪ Mix a special groove ♪

♪ Mrs. Jones ♪

♪ My heart's bruised ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh oh oh ♪

♪ Ohh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Or just pretend ♪

♪ Out of reach ♪

♪ Ow, ain't no valley low enough ♪

♪ R E S P E C T ♪

♪ Say it again ♪

♪ So confused ♪

♪ So jump right in ♪

♪ Sock it to me, sock it to me ♪

♪ Sock it to me, sock it to me ♪

♪ Someone exactly like you ♪

♪ Someone exactly like you ♪

♪ Someone exactly like you ♪

♪ Someone like you ♪

♪ Someone said as we shook hands ♪

♪ Swept away ♪

♪ Takin' care of T.C. B ♪

♪ That you will open up ♪

♪ The best is yet to come ♪

♪ They can talk ♪

♪ Those days are gone ♪

♪ Till we're done ♪

♪ To come through ♪

♪ To fall in love ♪

♪ To me ♪

♪ VAN MORRISON SINGING: Someone like you ♪

♪ VAN MORRISON SINGING: To make it all worth while ♪

♪ Was scared to death ♪

♪ Wasn't right ♪

♪ We were never meant to be ♪

♪ What you need ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪

♪ Whoo ♪

♪ Whoo ♪

♪ Why fool yourself? ♪

♪ Will make it all worthwhile ♪

♪ You feel within ♪

♪ You're alone ♪

♪ You're runnin' out of fools ♪