Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004) Soundboard Edit

A pregnancy test.

Absolutely correct.

All right, no need to shout.

Amas bibendo... fructis.

And I must say he has a genuine interest in Thai cuisine.

And Mark Darcy in particular, that I love.

And Mr. Herñez is his number two.

And quite nice manners. Outside the bedroom.

And some progressive school, where the day is spent singing Yellow Submarine?

And you thought all I knew of Thailand was pussies and ping pong balls

And you're incapable of doing anything spontaneous or potentially affectionate

Another year, a brand new diary

Are you or are you not having an affair with Rebecca Gillies?

At last, life is on track.

Bastard. I can't believe he's left me

Believe me, next time I will not fuck it up, Mum

Bijjit Jone.

Boyfriends lost but then regained following major diplomatic incident,

Bridget, we're waiting for that tape about Tom, the happy hamster.

But he is clever

But his wife's just run off with one of the partners.

But none of them could locate Jed, so Mark flew over to Interpol.

But that good news.

But there was a very important question I wanted to ask you tonight.

Come on, Jones. Who gave who the hoof?

Correct.

Daddy and I are getting married.

Dear Mum and Dad,

Do you want to marry me?

Doesn't matter

Don't be ridiculous.

Don't go away, I have something really, really important to say

Down there, right along the corridor, and just to the left.

Er...

Er... Whatever. Anyway, look, maybe give me a ring when you get back.

Excuse me, I'm looking for Mr. Darcy.

First jellyfish of the evening.

Five, six, seven, eight and one...

Fraulein, and I met frau... boy.

From a total unknown,

Go back in there, Bridge,

Go. Jump

Good, that makes things simpler

He is a miracle, really.

He seem really nice.

He's given up being snooty, and I've given up smoking.

Hello, hello, hello.

Hello. Bridget Jones.

Hmm

Horatio was just saying he's totally against charitable giving.

How romantic.

How unutterably beautiful he is.

However, must not obsess or fantasize.

Hug people who smell.

Hurry!

I am a mature, sophisticated, professional woman

I can't believe he made up the sex therapy thing.

I do. Again.

I don't love you, and I never have, and...

I don't think we're really in a position to, um...

I hate watching television. Being on it is... Hello there.

I mean, you see, if I stay with you tonight,

I miss you too.

I think we should talk about Finch's suggestion.

I think we should...

I thought you hated television.

I thought you were just, you know...

I'll come down and let you in.

I'm missing you a lot.

I'm not going in the sodding water.

I'm running late. Do you want me to cancel?

I've gone and done it.

Ich bien, er, possibly...

If you have a message for Mark Darcy, please speak after the tone.

If you're going to do it, you really ought to do it properly.

In all circumstances.

In there. You have five minutes.

Is that the Big Dipper or the little one?

Isn't he cute? Hello.

It couldn't be, could it?

It's a fizzy drink, you know, it just...

It's a promise.

It's all right.

It's me. Just wondered how you are.

It's negative.

Jones, what the hell are you doing?

Lesbian kisses, one.

Look, I...

Look, if you'll all just excuse us for a second..

Lord and Lady Darcy

Lovely to meet all of you.

Maria and Captain Von Trapp,

Mark Darcy and Bridget Jones.

Me.

My boyfriend treat me bad too

No fun now they can't slaughter Christians

No. Eight weeks?

Nothing like being in the hands of a total genius.

Now that is Ko Panyi, which is the setting for a very famous Thai poem,

Oh, cheer up, misery guts. I have good news for you

Oh, fuck.

Oh, God. Well, I mentioned that we were coming

Oh, my God. My God.

Oh, Suvarnamali Why can you not see that I adore you?

Oh.

Oh... Oh, I'm an angel.

Oooh

Oooh.

Patience, please. I've got a big surprise for you, darling.

Pretty good?

Really lovely.

Really? That's so odd,

See over there? Along my arm.

Seems to be getting a bit excited

Seen one star, you've seen the lot, that's what I say, Jones.

Seriously heartbroken and smitten with someone else?

She's being very naughty and trying to undo Orion's belt.

So I, um...

So, as you can see, I have found my happy ending at last.

So, Bijjit, what happen?

Someone's gotta be last.

Sorry.

Stop staring at me. Go and find something to do.

Take that knife, slice off my head and boil it if I'm wrong.

Taxi?

Ten years!

Thailand?

Thank you.

Thank you.

That I wouldn't share a lift with, let alone a job.

That you're not, not even thinking about, um...

That's a good idea in theory, but you made a family arrangement.

The same man who gave you the snake containing the drugs?

The thing thing.

The wilderness years are over

This is terrible! You are innocent!

To be quite frank, it'd be bloody fantastic.

To take spiritual succour and karmic rest.

Tory, Home Counties, upper middle class twits.

Um... Er... Mmm.

Very important at this moment.

We're meeting for a very late romantic dinner.

Well, no one's perfect.

Well, we're certainly not thinking about that yet. Are we, Bridget?

What do you think of this jacket?

What if someone says Bridget Jones, get out of here, you are ridiculous?

What is madness is to have a child if his parents can't have a discussion

When I heard about your situation.

While he rings to say what he wants for starters.

Why don't you tell me, in detail, about your school netball tour,

Yeah, actually, he did.

Yeah, yeah. Thanks.

Yes, good idea.

Yes, I very confidently expect very, very good times ahead.

Yes, well...

Yes!

Yes. Sorry.

You can't see the little one this close to the equator.

You smug bastard.

You're going to be out within a week.

You're on a bit of a sticky wicket.

4,000 pounds.

♪ ...you go and break my heart...

♪ No more small talk... Bloody know it all.

♪ Stop ♪ Before

♪ Think ♪ Think

♪ Think ♪ Think think

Darling! Will you be going back?

Fuck! Sorry.

He said he loves you? He said he loves me.

Hello? Hello, darling.

Is it Will you marry me? The moment's gone.

Like what? Maybe Mark will have chucked Rebecca.

Oh, for heaven's sake. Come with me.

Oh, God. I'm coming.

Ooh. Jed gave it to me.

Right, where is he now? He's in the bedroom.

Which are? Well, first off, I embarrass you.

You haven't got your wig on now, dear. I'll take that as a yes.

...available for dates...

...don't iron your hair.

...he really didn't stick up for me at this lawyers' supper...

...lying.

...my friends' motto was When in Rome, do as many Romans as you can

...you know...

[♫ Barry White: You're My First, My Last, My Everything]

[♫ Beyoncé: Crazy In Love]

[♫ Kylie Minogue: Can't Get You Out Of My Head]

♪ 'Cause I know I don't understand

♪ All the time I knew

♪ And I am a material girl

♪ Are you digging on me?

♪ Bangkok...

♪ Call your name two, three times in a row

♪ Deep in her when they go

♪ Do you want a little bit of my love?

♪ Don't think you've got it made

♪ Girl, to be my bride

♪ Here I stand with my everlasting love

♪ Hmm

♪ Hmm

♪ Hold that face for eternity

♪ I believe in a thing called love

♪ I just can't get you out of my head...

♪ I'll come back begging you

♪ It's sad So sad

♪ Just a little town down in Indonesia

♪ Just how your love can do what no one else can

♪ Love the way they smiled at me

♪ My moon

♪ Need a love to last forever

♪ No more candlelight No more romance

♪ Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh no no

♪ Oooh ooh ooh...

♪ Open up your eyes ♪ Then you'll realize

♪ The last

♪ The way to lasting love

♪ There's a chance we can make it now

♪ Trying to be misunderstood

♪ We'll be rockin' till the sun goes down

♪ What do I gotta do to be heard?

♪ What the world...

♪ When it comes down

♪ When you leave, I'm begging you not to go

♪ Won't you forget

♪ Wrapped in her arms I see you across the street

♪ Yeah

♪ Yeah

♪ Yeah

♪ You better stop

♪ Your love is king

♪ Your love's got me lookin'so crazy right now

♪ Baby, you're the best..

♪ Even if I make a sound..

♪ Everlasting love

♪ I'm not in love

♪ Need you by my side

♪ What do I gotta do to make you care?

♪ When sorry seems to be