The Party (1968) Edit

A beautiful home.

A bit on the ear!

Actors can tell when actresses are actresses, and actresses can tell...

AdiÛs, partener.

Ah.

Aha. Just what I thought.

All gone. Num num is gone.

All night long

All night long

All night long

All night long

All night long

All night long

All right, all right! Everybody out!

All right, you win, partener. You win.

All right! Enough! Enough!

All right.

All right.

All right. Excuse me.

All right. I don't drink. I don't smoke. No wine.

Although we may

And drew a moustache on your ladybirds? It's the same thing, isn't it?

And forget about that test. You're finished in this business before you even start!

And he would go "Bang, partner."

And here's an autographed picture of me and my horse Fang.

And how many people can play?

And I am sorry deep down inside of me.

And I am very glad to have the opportunity to do it.

And I perceive that you are both about the same size.

And I told her, sir, that it is a terrible thing to have happened

And that is indeed the gateway to India...

And that's when you find your inhibited mind is blown away

And the father says "Shh! It's a better buggy."

And what is the object of it? To disperse these balls strategically around the table?

Anyway, I have to get back to feed Apu.

Are you all right? Oh, I'm so sorry.

Are you sure?

Are you... doing something in a movie?

Are you... having a good time?

Argh!

B a k s h i.

B a k s h i.

Baby, you decide. You wanna come with me or stay with this guy?

Bang! I got you!

Bartender, we been fishin'. Caught ourselves a little Injun.

Because the way you are laughing just shows how much you enjoyed it.

Bell?

Bernie, give Miss Monet a hand, please.

Birdie num num. Birdie num num. Have birdie num num.

Both you and I have seen

Both you and I have seen

Brandy or... crËme de cacao, sir?

But before then I will also go to your husband and say to him that I am sorry.

But first let's have a little tiddly at the bar.

But I'll come back and meet your friends.

But much to gain if love

But much to gain if love

But next week I'm doing a test for Mr. Divot.

But now that I have apologized to you... Also, I have spoken to your good lady,

But the heart of a child is pure."

But you may need it.

Can you handle him? I have to go downstairs. Take care of it.

Charlie!

Charlie...

Clutterbuck's a big man. He could make a star out of me.

Come in! Your tie looks like a salamander's tongue that got stepped on.

Come on, baby, listen to me here now

Come on, baby, listen to me here now

Come on.

Congressman and Mrs. Dunphy, I don't know how to tell you...

Cookie!

Cut, dammit! Cut!

Dear... I believe you're down here, dear.

Decides to stay

Decides to stay

Did you hear about the t****ze artist who got divorced? Caught his wife in the act.

Dinner is served, darling.

Dinner is served.

Do you believe that child of mine, bringing home an elephant?

Do you speak Hindustani?

Easy to blow your brain here

Eat!

Especially I thought your song was very beautiful.

Everyone, let's toast our wonderful friends!

Excuse me for a minute, sweetheart.

Excuse me, sir, but...

Excuse the mess up here. It is birdie num nums. I've got them under my feet.

Feet are considered a delicacy among certain animals, you know.

Fine. Fine.

First get in the saddle, just like I taught you. That's it.

Fred, darling, I had to loan him your terry. He's soaking wet. This is hers, not his.

Fred, stop him.

Friendliest little critter I ever met.

General Clutterbuck, sir.

General, about this Wac. I asked her to go out with me one night...

Get a hold of him.

Get away. Ciao, now. Ciao, dog.

Get away. Get away from me, dog.

Get him, gal! Grab him by the wigwam! I'll wait right here for ya!

Get into the kitchen.

Get the balls in the holes, except the white one.

Get the guitar.

Get the paintings. Don't just stand there!

Get up!

Go on.

Go on. You've had enough now. Off. Ciao, dog.

God only knows what's happening now!

Good evening, General. I'd like you to meet Miss Michele Monet.

Good idea. I gotta get downstairs before Conchita cools off.

Good. I'm so glad.

Great leapin' pollywogs! That little gal's got spunk!

Great night for a dip! That feller has a heap of jollies...

Hare ram ram.

Has it occurred to you that the period of our picture is 1878?

Have a drink. Go ahead.

Have you heard her sing? We're giving her a test. She sings like a nightingale.

Have your fill and away you go.

He's got "The world is flat" on his forehead,

He's just a little wet. You got some dry duds?

He's the idiot who blew up the location!

Hello, dog. What do you want, eh? You like my feet, do you?

Hello, Polly.

Hello, Polly. Pretty Polly. Pretty Polly.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello. Uh... Buckercult...

Help!

Here, darling. Put this on him.

Here, Wild Bill, you take off your coat...

Hey, close the door, man!

Hey, gang! We're gonna wash the elephant!

Hey, gimme some of that, will ya, pal?

Hey, let's go struggle in the straw, huh?

Hey, little buddy! Hold on! Here's one of my old Stetsons. It just fits.

Hey, waiter, come over here.

Hey, what's with the ambulance?

Hey, what's with the ambulance?

Hey.

Hey.

Hi.

Hold on one moment.

How are you, General? Remember Miss Michele Monet here?

How do you do?

How many days there are in each month.

How many times I gotta tell you?

How the hell could a thing like that happen?

How would you like it if an Indian person came along

How's the chow? Looks pretty good.

Howdy, par... te... ner... partener!

Howdy, partener!

Howdy, partener.

Howdy, partener. Howdy, partener.

Hrundi V Bakshi.

Hrundi, are you drownin'?

Hrundi... V...

I am here at the moment taking part

I can't now, darling. I've got all these wet Russians.

I did too. Very much.

I don't even know how it got started.

I don't know, but I don't like it.

I dropped my roll.

I feel better. Thank you very much.

I haven't had it lately.

I just never, ever, in all my life... I just never...

I knew I knew that guy! I knew it. I knew it.

I know you would like me to have it, but I don't want it.

I love a good laugh. Don't you? Makes the world go round.

I missed the middle part, but I can tell from the way that you are enjoying it,

I must remember that one.

I need an address for Hrundi V Bakshi.

I never heard that. It's marvelous!

I never touch it. Thank you.

I tell you, tonight is one big round of laughter. All fun and laughter.

I think that one of these bearers does not like the other one.

I wanna talk to the General. This is CS Divot.

I was doin' it the other day. Just relax and you can...

I wonder if you could...

I would ask you to come up but... it's a little late.

I would have been disappointed if you hadn't crushed my hand.

I would like to say that I enjoyed myself very much last night.

I'd better find something to put on and call a cab.

I'd love to, really, but I have nothing to wear.

I'll give you a last one.

I'll introduce my guests, if I may. Mrs. Dunphy...

I'll see to it he never works again in this town.

I'll see to it you never make another movie again!

I'll see you, little buddy.

I'll tell you what I can say.

I'm a friend of Mr. Clutterbuck's. I gotta tell him something right away.

I'm awfully sorry. Levinson, will you get the gentleman a chair, please?

I'm not sure I know what it means.

I'm sorry, darling. You're going to have to move back. It was a mistake.

I'm sorry. It's absolutely fantastic.

I'm tellin' you, he thought you were terrific. He was very impressed.

I've been lookin' all over for you.

I've heard some wonderful things about you.

I've seen every one of your films.

If I can sit here, I won't be in anybody's way.

If there was something, it's gone away now anyway.

If we are wise

If we are wise

If we build dreams that don't come true

If we build dreams that don't come true

If you should want it or need it sometimes...

In fact, there are man eating animals who will eat only the feet, not one other thing.

In Mr. General Clutterbuck's latest motion picture extravaganza.

Is that why you were crying?

It goes like this: "30 days have September, October, June and February."

It might be fun

It might be fun

It must have been a very humorous anecdote.

It sort of smarts, don't it?

It was awful, but at the same time I feel it is my duty to say this to you now.

It was that ridiculous little chair they put you on.

It's a love in. Meet some of my friends.

It's a lovely name for a monkey, anyway.

It's an honor to have had my hand crushed by "Wyoming Bill" Kelso.

It's good to have a laugh. Wonderful, wonderful.

It's quite all right. Call me if there's anything I can do.

Just feel the wild vibrations

Just forget it. Just forget it.

Just lift the ashtray, please.

Just one second. If you can take this around you...

Just relax. Just...

Keep your eye on the white ball, and you can...

Kelso, would you mind...

Knock it off and hit the sack!

Let's sit down. That's it. That's a good girl.

Let's wait before we talk

Let's wait before we talk

Listen to me: White man speak with forked tongue.

Look at that! Oh!

Look, you came with me. You're gonna leave with me. Now get your clothes.

Look. She's waiting for more num num.

Looks like little buddy went bye bye.

Marty! Clutterbuck says if we don't wrap this location today, it's your neck.

Marvelous! Just marvelous!

May I apologize to you for the discomfort...

Molly, how could you do such a dreadful thing?!

Mom! Are you all right?

Mom! What are you doing?!

Mr. Bakshi, are you also aware that in 1878

Mr. Clutterbuck,

Mr. Clutterbuck. Mrs. Clutterbuck. How are ya, Alice?

Mrs. Clutterbuck, please can I take this opportunity

My chair is lower than your chair.

My clothes are wetting the bed.

Neither do I.

Never I believed in my whole life I would meet him

No talk of spending lifetimes in the sun

No talk of spending lifetimes in the sun

No time for meditations

No wine, please. No, no.

No wine, thank you.

No, don't call a cab. Stay at the party.

No, I'd like you to keep it.

No, it was a mistake. But he's going to bring you a chair and you'll be all right.

No, no, no, no!

No, no, no. There is definitely nothing in there.

No, no! You can't just...

No, thank you.

No! You fainted. Come on!

No.

No.

No.

No. I...

Nobody ever does this to me. You hear that?

Not right away

Not right away

Not that one, you idiot! Just the good stuff! Put it back!

Nothing to lose

Nothing to lose

Nothing to lose

Nothing to lose

Nothing to lose

Nothing to lose

Nothing, except that it is somewhat nearer to the table now.

Now I'll take this from you.

Num num.

Num num. Birdie num num.

Of evermore

Of evermore

Off. Out! You're through! You're washed up! You're finished!

Oh, Benny.

Oh, darling, do hurry because the Russians will be here any minute.

Oh, dear. Honestly!

Oh, don't worry about that.

Oh, excuse me, please.

Oh, excuse me, sir.

Oh, ho, ho! Oh, yes!

Oh, I don't know. I don't think so.

Oh, look... You keep it.

Oh, Mr. Divot!

Oh, my dear, just forget it. It wasn't your fault.

Oh, no, Wild Bill! No, no!

Oh, no. I'd rather...

Oh, no...

Oh, sure, honey. We're gonna eat. But they gotta ring the little bell first.

Oh, that was a short dance.

Oh, that's wonderful! Wonderful!

Oh, there they are, over there.

Oh, um... it was occupied.

Oh, yes indeed, sir. I am well aware that that is the period of the film. 1878.

Oh, yes, it's... Oh! It's lovely right now.

Oh!

Oh! Fred!

Oh! You got me right in the pantaloons, partener!

Oh.

Oh. Darling, would you mind moving up just one? I'm terribly sorry.

Oh. Here's your hat.

Oh...

OK, guys. The cue for the demolition is when I lower my hand like this.

OK, Ken, let's go.

OK.

One day we may

One day we may

One of the best, feller. One of the best.

Ooh.

Or early. I don't know.

Our minds fly away, as the band starts to play we rock and roll

Partener, he's a... he's a TV partener.

Pay no attention to me, sir. I'm merely spectating.

Please remain connected to the telephone.

Please, hold on to the connection. Please, one second.

Please, I would like to formally apologize to you for any inconvenience

Please, no wine.

Please, stay. Let's have a wonderful time.

Please! Come and help. There's someone in the pool.

Pooh!

Pooh!

Poor darling. You stay there and...

Pretty bird. Pretty Polly.

Pretty Polly.

Put the drink down and listen to me.

Ready? Action!

Right down here.

Right here. This is an easy shot.

See that guitar? Go get it.

She's... having... the birdie num nums.

Should you wish to have me on your list of guests on some other occasion.

Sir, what is the name of a game that has a multitude of colored balls like that?

Smile at 'em.

So tomorrow's test will be just a formality. We wanna see what you look like on film.

Someone my mixed up wife invited.

Spell it.

Still have a few left over from the pre Castro days.

Surely. I'll get something of Fred's.

Take it outside! Come on, let's go!

Thank you for a marvelous party! Whoa!

Thank you, and I would love to say that it has been the greatest moment in my life.

Thank you.

That I may have caused you or your guests at the table tonight.

That is just outside Bombay.

That is the art? The art is not to have the white one in?

That would be very nice.

That's 42 for the crew. One hour for the cast.

That's my old cowboy crusher. Injun grip.

That's my old cowboy crusher. Injun grip.

That's no problem. They have millions of clothes here. Anyway, I've got an idea.

That's pretty good. You do speak French.

That's very pretty.

That's why we'll all remain here

The congressman was just telling us about the time he was robbed.

The one where you walk along and go...

The party gets groovy and everyone here loses control, yeah

The party goes crazy as we see the night turn into day, yeah

The picture, yeah. It was going fine until some idiot blew up the set.

The whole damn thing?!

There is a call for you, sir.

There you go. That'll straighten you right out. You'll feel better.

They should be finished with the soup. Get the plates.

They took the gold watch that your father left you?

They weren't wearing underwater watches?

This is 469 6151.

This is a good one because it will help you to remember

This is a symbol of my country.

This picture's a very good one, you know. It's gonna be great.

This poor lady is urgently in need of some dry clothing,

Tonight

Tonight

Too much noise. Let's sit on the bed.

Trust me. Here, we can talk. It's a little quieter in here.

Very good.

Wait till I tell them at home that I've met him.

Wait till I tell them back home.

Wash it off! Take it all off!

Wash it, scrub it, get it off, hose it off...

We gotta get rid of it. Turn on the air conditioning.

We have a saying in India.

We just started and...

We know the score

We know the score

We take him outside now and wash all the soap off!

We'll learn some new sensations

We'll only hurt ourselves

We'll only hurt ourselves

We're certainly having a lot of trouble.

We're not expecting rainbow colored skies

We're not expecting rainbow colored skies

Well, anyway, thank you very much. Perhaps we can dance again later.

Well, I can see it.

Well, I don't know what we can do, but perhaps we can at least dry it out for you.

Well, I... I got myself into a funny situation.

Well, it has everything to do with you.

Well, sir, you seem to have a wonderful party going.

Well, that was a short career, wasn't it?

Well, there is nothing in there.

Well, this is where I live.

Well, you are not missing anything. Oh, dear.

Well...

Well... if I need it, I could always come perhaps and pick it up.

Well... Maybe next week.

What a beautiful evening it is, to be sure.

What a wonderful thing to do. Take everything including your father's watch.

What are you doing? What are you doing?

What can we lose?

What do you suppose that awful racket is? I'll be right back.

What does it have to do with me?

What happened to your little face?

What is it?

What is it?

What is that idiot doin'?

What the hell is goin' on around here?

What time can do

What time can do

What was that?

What, in here?

What?

What?!

What's his name?

What's in there?

When would you be available for me to pick up my hat?

Who's in the head?

Why not?

Would you do me the honor to sign me an autograph?

Would you just let my hand go? You've got my hand. Thank you.

Would you like some food, Polly?

Would you mind getting...

Yeah, Charlie?

Yeah, it's been terribly funny for about 20 years.

Yeah, well, I'm having a few people in.

Yeah!

Yes, indeed. I'm not in your quality, but I am also an actor.

Yes, sir. I know that. They had not even been invented.

Yes, there is.

Yes, yes.

Yes, you certainly do.

Yes, you.

Yes.

Yes. Thank you.

You ain't never gonna find anything in here half as sweet as I am.

You and I have gotta find someplace to be alone!

You are having some difficulty?

You are, are you not, "Wyoming Bill" Kelso, the famous film star?

You come down with wet clothes on, I'll stomp you and the horse you ride in on.

You get off of my set and get out of my picture.

You get that elephant out of this house at once!

You got the wrong guy!

You have a very hard time finding good help these days.

You know that I don't think you are being entirely honest with me?

You know where to reach me.

You old horned toad, buddy.

You were saying something about a saying?

You.

You'd better start telling him what to do or we'll be out of business. Now go ahead.

You're gonna be a smash. Don't worry about a thing.

You're the director. You brought him over from India.

You've got to start with education. That's where you need to spend...

Your name, and the way you speak English.

Alice, baby, do you feel better? Oh, I'm fine!

Alice, where is Miss Monet sitting? Right around here, dear.

All right, cut it! All right, hold it!

All we have left is to blow up the fort. OK, OK. Great. Great.

An ele... Yes. You don't have to be so shook up.

And Bombay is in India. Oh, that is very much in India.

Apu? Yes. My monkey.

Are you an actress? Yes.

Are you having a good time? Oh, yes. I am having a good time.

Are you working in a movie? No. No.

Bakshi, right? Oh, yes. Mr. Bakshi.

Bang! Howdy, partner! Pretty quick on the draw there.

Because I am an actor. Oh, I see.

Bell. Ding ding. Ding ding?

Birdie num num. Hello.

By yourself. Thank goodness. How wonderful.

Can you... hold here? Yes.

Carl? Earl? All right. Stand by.

Caviar? No, thank you.

Charlie! Please, don't do that. Just one little kiss.

Charlie... Yes?

Come here, lovely man. I love you. I got something dry over here.

Come on, baby. Why don't we go back downstairs?

Come on, sidekick. No, no.

Come on. Molly, are you sure it's all right?

Congratulations. Thank you.

Congratulations. Thank you.

Cute little feller, ain't he? I know all your sayings. All of them.

Dinner is served. Good.

Do you believe it? The party isn't over! Hey, General!

Do you speak Hindustani? No.

Do you want to hear another saying? Yes.

Does that include television, sir? I'll kill him. I'll kill him! I'll kill him!

Don't thank me. Thank my saying. Thank you, saying.

Don't you paint them in India? Yes, but we don't paint slogans on them.

Enjoy yourself. Thank you, sir.

Excuse me. Yes.

For one thing, it stopped you crying. It's true.

General, excellent aroma. I'm glad you like it.

General, your wife just fell in the pool. Get her jewlery.

Get up off the floor. I got him. Slippery little critter, ain't he?

Get your clothes. We're gonna leave. I don't think so.

Gimme my gun! Thank you, partner.

Go on! Mr. Divot, please...

God, what a state I was. I can imagine.

Good evening, Mr. Divot. How are you? Uh, how are you?

Good. It's... good to be having a good time.

Goodbye. Bye.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

Gore, are you sure it's all right? It's not "all right". It's divine.

Got that? Buddy... partner buddy.

Got the time? Yes, it's...

Got you covered, Injun. Oh!

He's drowning! He's drownin'?

He's used to it by now, anyway. Good.

Hello, Mom. Darling! Weren't you out protesting?

Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello.

Hello. Oh, hello.

Hello. Oh, howdy, little buddy!

Hello. Oh, howdy, little buddy!

Hello. Good evening. Good evening.

Hi ya, honey. Is he all right?

Hors d'oeuvre, sir? Well, I'm on a diet, but to hell with it.

How about you, Bernie? She's great! I think she's really great.

How are you? Fine. Is this your elephant?

How do you like it so far? Fine.

Hrundi, say hello to the signorina here. Hello, partener.

I didn't mean to offend you. Now listen here, young lady.

I gotta tell you something! It was crazy! You should've seen it!

I just think we should forget all about it. Indeed, you are right.

I never heard of a game called pool. Fine game.

I want to stay. You're gonna stay with him, huh?

I was quick on the draw. You beat me that time, pal. That's right.

I'll come and get it then. OK.

I'll handle it. Wild Bill, why do you want...

I'll hold him. You get his pants down. All right.

I'll look forward to that. Excuse us, sir. We're going to the bar.

I'll never make it. There's a control in the master bedroom.

I'm also in the acting profession. You are?

I'm awfully sorry. What should we do? Get some water and wash it off.

I'm going to be in the aquacade! That's nice. Don't drop her.

I'm not finished. I've got to see.

I'm so sorry, sir. I beg your pardon. Honey, we'll play it over here.

It is a thing that we have together. Ah.

It is occupied. Oh.

It'll do you good, partner. Right down the old hatch.

It's all right. General, it's him!

It's understandable. It will never happen again,

Just a little bit more. There you go. How about a little more?

Just a minute, sir. I'm CS Divot, the producer.

Just stay out of this, buddy. If she wishes to remain, that is her right.

Just who do you think you are? In India, we don't think who we are, we know who we are.

Little sidekick, put these dry clothes on. All right. I will put them on.

Look, I told the General you'd sing. Well, I'd rather not do it tonight.

Lots of luck to you. Yes, and the same to you, sir.

Lovely in summer, don't you think? Yes.

Mm hm. Good, good.

Molly, what was that?! An elephant.

Mr. Bakshi. Yes, sir?

Mr. Divot, how do you do? Yeah. Yeah, right, fella. All right?

Mrs. Clutterbuck, shall I serve the salad? Yes.

No, I feel silly. Oh, no, hon. You can do it this way.

No, I'm perfectly all right. Good.

No, not poo. Pool. Pool! Oh, like swimming pool.

No. Can't you see it?

No. Don't say no to me! Now get your stuff.

No. That would be nice, but I can't stay. Why not?

Now you get out of those wet clothes. I love the wet clothes!

Oh, Charlie, this is the bedroom. Ah, it is the bedroom!

Oh, hey, little buddy! American aid, partener!

Oh, no, I don't drink. Come on.

Oh, OK. If your carnet de bal is not full up.

Oh, there's no chair. Everybody needs to move over.

Oh, whole bunches, or twos and threes. Groups of people can play?

Oh, yes. I can tell. Oh?

Oh, you naughty man! Here, put this on.

Oh! Let's get to the bar.

Oh. OK.

Oh. Yes.

Oh. I beg your pardon. That's all right.

Oh. Michele Monet. How do you do?

Oh. Michele Monet. How do you do?

Oh. Pardon me, sir. That's quite all right, feller.

Pardon me. It's OK.

Pardon? That is what my name is called.

Piacere. Bakshi.

Pool. Poo?

Put these on. Why? Why?

Right. Good.

Scotch? No, no.

Thank you for listening to me. It's all right.

That's me, in the flesh. Oh, God. What a moment in my life!

That's not necessary, really. It is on my conscience.

That's right. They don't go on for long, do they?

The orchestra is gone. There's a guitar. You play the guitar?

The Russians? The dancers, darling. The ballet!

There you go. Ah, thank you.

They're dirty. Oh, really!

This is a wonderful thing for me. My pleasure.

This is the big chief here. Oh! Big chief speak with forked tongue.

Vodka or Scotch, sir? No, I... No, thank you.

We didn't mean to be disrespectful. But it's humiliating. They know.

We got one shot at this. Let's get it right. All right. Places, everybody!

We have to move the bar! Oh, I know how to do that! I'll do it.

We need to move the bar. What?

We need to move the bar. What?

We've got to do a report. I'll talk to the governor.

Well, how do you like her, General? Great.

Well, if you want to, go ahead. Thank you.

Well? Well what?

What a wonderful strong grip you've got! Yes, I do.

What are you doing? I am not doing anything.

What better time to shake 'em up? You've done some stupid things but...

What can I do for you? Hurry up.

What do you want? Well, you look like a man of the world.

What embarrassment for you. Why, no.

What in the world is that? I can't imagine.

What, with old Divot? Yes.

What? Oh, listen. I...

What's that idiot doing? I just asked that.

What's the answer? I don't know.

What's your name? Hrundi. H r u n d i.

Where are you from? I am from India.

Where are you goin'? Attention!

Who goes there? Shh! Mr. Bakshi and a damsel in distress.

Who is that guy? A very nice man,

Who? Bakshi!

Who's the foreigner? I don't know.

with an unpronounceable name. I know him from someplace.

Yeah? Mr. Divot calling from location, on six.

Yes! Will you please come? But your mother is havin' a party!

Yes? Yes.

Yes. Then you play the guitar and you sing.

Yes. Yes.

Yes. It's not really his fault. He's a terrible man.

Yes. This is Jongo. You've done a proper paint job on this!

You are also French. How do you know?

You did? Yes.

You should be ashamed of yourself! Why?

You're meshuga! I am not your sugar.

You're sure you're comfortable? Here the door won't bang me.

You're wetting the bed. I am not wetting the bed.

Your wife wants the party guest list. On the desk.

...bound and gagged for six hours.

"All the rest got 29 except my brother, who got six months."

"Socrates eats hemlock" on the side, and "Go naked" all over his bum!

"Wisdom... is the province of the aged,