Mrs Doubtfire (1993) Edit

A big knock at the door.

A classic never dies, dear. I think it's time to revive it.

A court liaison will accompany you when you spend time with the children.

A cup of garlic, a twist of parakeet.

A fella gives a gift like that, he wants more than a piece of her heart, eh?

A job I could really sink my teeth into!

A joy, as always.

A little drafty but... you know. It's nice.

A sainted man.

A spoon. Oh, how clever. Wait. I've got it.

A tufted sofa, a Flemish tapestry, a brass bound Regency style table...

Actors.

After you box 'em...?

Afternoon snacks have few civil liberties.

Ah, this must be the famous Mrs Doubtfire.

Ahead of schedule.

All right, dear. There you go.

All right, everyone. It's time to expand your minds.

All right. I admit things were a lot nicer when she was around.

All right. Listen to me.

All the horrible things we said to each other.

Almost lost ya.

Amazed she hasn't chipped her teeth.

And 27 cents.

And at my age, it's like a good Stilton. Everything has its own aroma.

And besides, how could he replace you?

And for them, I did housecleaning, cooking, and took care of their four glorious children.

And he specifically asked for you, Miranda.

And Heimlich manoeuvre, dear.

And I just... They mean everything to me. And they need me as much as I need them.

And I know you're Mr Health. Bless you for putting yourself in harm's way.

And I refuse to further subject three innocent children

And I will be coming by on Monday and Friday evenings to inspect it.

And I'm becoming a new man and a model father!

And if there's any dispute, it's either good, wholesome food or empty tummies.

And if they don't,

And if you violate that, heaven forgive ya.

And let's do steel windows, not wood.

And old. I wore that to my aunt's funeral in 1976.

And please welcome... the king!

And right now I feel like a toad.

And so quickly. Really!

And sometimes they don't, dear.

And sometimes they get back together.

And the black one is far too short. I hope you waxed.

And the good ones adhere themselves to your memory.

And the idea of someone telling me I can't be with them, I can't see them every day...

And the only thing I know in my heart is that the children were happier

And the strings are under the wig.

And we can't tell Nattie, cos she'll blow my cover.

And when I'm in charge, you will follow a schedule.

And yo, yo, make a wicked cup of cocoa.

And you'll have a family in your heart forever.

And your little speech seemed to be very heartfelt and genuine.

And... I'm sure he's better when he's not with me.

Any questions?

Are we close?

Are we ready for homework, or shall we continue manual labor?

Are you aware it's illegal to possess barnyard animals in a residential area?

Are you sure, dear? It's three floors, hoofin' it all the way.

Are you wearing ladies' perfume?

Are you wearing lipstick?

Are your kids well behaved, or do they need, like, a few light slams every now and then?

As I hold this cold meat, I'm reminded of Winston. God rest his soul.

As you can see, I can't stay with you, dear. I'm melting like a snow cone in Phoenix.

As your court liaison, I will be looking at two things.

Awesome.

Back off, asshole!

Be back in a flash. All right? My tiny bladder.

Beat it!

Because I have an appointment on Monday and Friday evenings to check the apartment.

Because, ever since my children were born,

Before you verbally bash their father. Hm?

Between the hours of 3pm and 7pm, I'm in charge.

Bit of a going down payment, huh?

Bit of the old cunning linguistics? Hm?

Bit of the old humpty dumpty?

Bitch.

Bless you.

Bottom line: Don't patronize kids. They're little people.

Bravo. "Discriminate. "

Bring him two doubles so he can catch up.

Broke my bag, the bastard.

Bully!

But after all those Scotches I had to piss like a racehorse.

But Daniel was so wonderfully different. And funny. He could always make me laugh.

But I always say: The bad times fade away,

But I believe it to be a terrific performance by a very gifted actor. Nothing more.

But I do have one rule: They'll only eat good, nutritious food with me.

But I know somehow you and I will be all right and we'll get through this.

But I was more disciplined then. I always put my studies ahead of my athletics.

But I'm not wholly without heart.

But look at this nice thing we have here.

But look at you!

But not in your case, cos I see that you're a strapping lad, aren't ya?

But personally I prefer short, furry and funny.

But the kids...

But then, I was serious enough for everybody.

But this Tyrannosaurus rex

But we'll get into that tomorrow, boys and girls.

But you don't have to pack because we're going in our mind.

But...

Bye, Dad.

Bye, Ma.

Bye.

Can we talk maybe later in the week?

Can we talk? Over dinner, maybe?

Can't you just tell Mom you're sorry?

Can't you see the lust in that man's eyes?

Carpe dentum seize the teeth.

Certainly, dear.

Check those. I'll be right back.

Children, look at that lovely dessert tray over there.

Chris, wait right over there. Everybody.

Cold night, isn't it?

Come at it from both sides. Together up.

Come on off now. Here we go.

Come on, everybody get their coats.

Come on, guys! Get up! Let's go!

Come on, let's go.

Come on, Miranda. We love each other.

Come on, Miranda. We've got problems, but who doesn't? We could work 'em out.

Come on, Nattie, we gotta go.

Come on, you're on my time now.

Come on!

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. I hope you're all hungry.

Come on. I want you to meet this lady with me.

Coming right up, dear! Sugar one lump or two, dear?

Coming up toward the very end. There she goes. And she wins that race.

Cos if she finds out, I'll only be able to see you through plate glass. OK?

Could you stay a few extra hours this evening?

Cut!

Daddy!

Daddy!

Damn door.

Damn it! Oh, there it is.

Damn. Calm down.

Daniel Hillard, former employee.

Daniel is a very difficult man to live with. But the children are crazy about him.

Daniel, I don't have time for this. I have to drop something off at the newspaper office.

Daniel, please don't joke.

Daniel! Oh, my God!

Daniel...

Dear Miranda. Wake up and smell the coffee, dear.

Dear, can you help me with something? I found this outside.

Dear, I don't think it's appropriate to argue with your mother in front of a stranger.

Detestable.

Detestable.

Did I miss anything?

Did you ever wish that you could freeze frame a single moment in your day,

Did you have fun?

Dinner is served, madam.

Do I sense dissension in the ranks?

Do you know what language they speak in England?

Do you think it's morally right to promote smoking to the youth of America?

Does she have a lady friend for me?

Doesn't it make you mad that humans play your parts in movies?

Doing your homework. How great!

Don't be afraid. I'll be right there. Danny!

Don't be messy.

Don't blame yourself.

Don't forget anything. I don't wanna come back.

Don't get mad, honey. Listen.

Don't get mad, honey. Listen.

Don't make me smack you, sweetheart.

Don't take my kids away from me.

Don't talk to me! Don't touch me!

Don't worry. We will find someone. There are plenty of people out there.

Don't you dare make me out to be the monster here, Daniel!

Don't you think?

Don't... fuss with me.

Double Chivas on the rocks.

Doubtfire, dear. Mrs Doubtfire.

Dude, congratulations on your 12th birthday. Got a surprise for ya.

Easy.

Eat your heart out, Julia Child.

Eight years ago, dear. This November.

Elastic bands were flying out everywhere. Hit you in the face.

Eliminate the Oriental rug. Let's try an Aubusson carpet.

Euphegenia Doubtfire, dear. I specialize in the education and entertainment of children.

Even when I try to do something fun, you do it ten times bigger!

Evening, ma'am.

Ever since this happened, I've been trying to make sense out of it.

Every night is like the Bay of Pigs.

Every Saturday? That's one day a week.

Everybody stand over here and help me decide what to do.

Everyone else I knew was so organized, so scheduled.

Everything's gonna be all right.

Excuse me, but isn't it customary for the jailbird to get one telephone call?

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Miranda, can I speak to you for a minute?

Expand your craniums.

Fine. You ask my opinion, then don't take it.

First of all, congratulations on the show.

Fleeing my homeland kind of thing.

Follow me.

For the past 15 years I've worked for the Smythe family of Elbourne, England.

Forgive me.

Four dinners. 20 bucks extra for rushing us.

Four iced teas, Todd.

Friday night, seven o'clock.

Fringed, upholstered chairs, heavy d****s.

Get out!

Give me a second chance. OK? Let me take the kids after school.

Gloria?

Go get Mr Bear.

Go on. Come on, go get 'em!

Go pump some neurons.

God knows they need a stable father figure in their life right now.

God, it's hot in here.

God, no. Why would you think that?

Gonna eat everything till the appearance of man

Good evening, dear.

Good luck.

Good waste of juice.

Good, huh?

Goodbye, Daddy.

Goodbye.

Half sister, really. That makes her an eighth English? I've never done the math.

Happy birthday.

Happy to be in America. Don't ask for a green card.

Have we met?

Havin' a birthday in the house.

He did?

He has the warmth of a snow pea. Makes Mr Rogers look like Mick Jagger. It's insane.

He just wants to go out and have a drink.

He never knew, but so many nights I just... cried myself to sleep.

He sounds like an absolute stud, dear.

He sure did.

He was in London and... he met this lovely Englishwoman.

He was probably a Casanova compared to poor old Winston.

He was so... romantic.

He'll be right there. He's just changing, dear.

He's putting millions into restoring the old Wellman mansion on Nob Hill.

Hello, Lydia.

Hello, Miranda.

Hello, my dears!

Hello!

Hello!

Hello!

Hello! Anybody home?

Hello! What do you have for me today?

Hello?

Hello.

Hello. Are you calling in response to the ad?

Hello. Mrs Hillard, I presume.

Help us! Somebody help! He's choking! Help us!

Here it is, Mel. $1,000 worth of hair. What am I supposed to do with it?

Here we are. Daniel's abode.

Hey, boss, give her a chance. She's gonna loosen up any moment.

Hey, come here.

Hey, Dan!

Hey, just give me some time.

Hey, listen, you know you can always stay with us just as long as you want.

Hi, boys and girls.

Hi, guys. Did you say "extinction"? Does something stink?

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. I'm Daniel Hillard, the actor.

Hide the weasel? Park the porpoise?

His... much older sister.

Honey, I'm so happy!

Honey... What are you looking for?

Hope you have somethin' nice and warm to go home to.

Host?

Housekeeper? Why do you need a housekeeper?

How about a nice soothing cigarette?

How about this lovely frock? Tasteful, elegant...

How did you know?

How is it? Oh, my God. It's clotted. Oh, God.

How is the old battle axe?

How long after Mr Doubtfire passed away...

How lovely!

How precise! It's lovely.

However, since at the present time Mr Hillard has no place to live and no employment,

I admire that honesty, Nattie. That's a noble quality. Never lose that.

I always say: A flawed husband is better than none at all.

I always say: The key to a solid marriage is laughter.

I am job.

I am not a crook.

I am suggesting a period of psychological testing and perhaps treatment for you.

I bring home a cake and gifts. You bring the goddamn San Diego Zoo!

I can only plead insanity.

I can only see them now with supervision.

I can't believe they're still subjecting kids to this. This is insane.

I can't have a birthday without you. It would mean so much to me and the children.

I can't have my birthday without you.

I can't lie to you. It's beautiful with him.

I can't take it orally, dear. I'll be right back.

I can't, dear. It's my turn to pull the balls at the rectory.

I didn't want my kids growing up with a mother like that.

I do a great impression of a hot dog.

I do voices.

I don't do bathtubs. I don't do toilets. And I don't do diapers.

I don't do dinners. I don't do reading.

I don't do laundry. I don't do windows. I don't do carpets.

I don't go to old lady bars or anything like that after work.

I don't know. Actually... Mrs Doubtfire!

I don't know. This would scare the children. Maybe this is too much for them.

I don't mean to criticize. I just...

I don't think he's in the Navy, the way she's saying she misses him. It's like he's nearby.

I don't wanna hurt our children.

I don't work with the males cos I used to be one.

I don't. You do it yourself quite naturally.

I eat wood

I feel like I've known you for years.

I find myself getting home early just to be with them. We're all doing so great.

I found the best way to keep from smoking again is to be around those who do smoke.

I get it. I just... don't wanna hug you or anything.

I got the stretch outside. Does your girlfriend have a girlfriend?

I grew quite attached to them after 15 years, but they grew up, as children tend to.

I had an appointment. Oh, thank you!

I have a home in London. I was born there. What part of England are you from?

I have to be with my children. It's not a question. I have to be with them, sir. Please.

I have to go. We have to leave now. I have to leave!

I have to randomly ingest just a little bit of nicotine and it steels my wool.

I haven't been away from 'em for more than one day since the day they were born.

I hope he had protection, hitting the water at that speed.

I hope you are using Jungle Red. That is the color I love.

I hope you bring cocktail sauce.

I hope you don't mind me being a tad rude, but...

I hope you like it.

I just don't see why we can't spend the extra time with Dad.

I just got off the phone with a Stuart Dunmeyer.

I just mean I understand the pain you're all going through.

I know it seems like a lot, but for me it's not enough. Really.

I know it's hard, sweetie.

I know Miranda. It's gonna blow over.

I know the place doesn't look like much now, but...

I know what you're going for with these murals, but perhaps if they weren't so large.

I know you're used to loosey goosey.

I like 'em light and woody.

I like that Mediterranean look in women.

I love them with all my heart.

I mean... Did you ever say anything to him, dear?

I miss her stories.

I must tell you, a little light cooking is required.

I need a face.

I need my order for table 39!

I need someone to be there when the children get home from school, to clean, start dinner...

I remember him saying something about that.

I saw it! Some angry member of the kitchen staff. Did you not tip them?

I see you got someone to clean for you.

I spend too much time with you, Daniel. It's over!

I think I made a friend.

I think we have to go to the next level.

I think we should ask the kids. What do you think?

I think you'll be very pleased with me!

I thought I gave it to you, dear.

I thought you wouldn't. Thank you very much.

I used to think Daniel could do anything. Except be serious.

I want a divorce.

I want to keep you abreast of the changes in my career!

I want you in the worst way.

I want you to be polite to her, then... tell me what you think.

I was flattered that you thought of me after all these years and everything.

I was just worried my coming in here might scare you off the project.

I was thinking a 17th century grand piano...

I will assign a court liaison to oversee your case.

I will consider a joint custody arrangement when we reconvene. We're adjourned.

I will. All right. I love you, too.

I would love for you to come and work with us.

I would say go to the bathroom before we go, but I don't think that's a good idea.

I wouldn't miss that for the world! Should be smashing good fun!

I'd hate to think that she came down with amoebic dysentery or piles.

I'd like you to meet the host of your new show.

I'd rather make a coat for my wife.

I'll be back but I'm comin' as oil

I'll be right back.

I'll be right back. I just have to re attach them with a little adhesive.

I'll be right there with your tea!

I'll be right there with your tea!

I'll be there.

I'll bet it's very exclusive. Probably need a credit reference just to get in the pool.

I'll get them, sir. Don't worry.

I'll just sip club soda and we'll go over wallpaper samples.

I'll just sit here and watch you move in on my family.

I'll miss you. Saturday comes real quick.

I'll pick 'em up after school, be with them, then drop them off at your house after work.

I'll show you to the door.

I'm a professional. I'm...

I'm a raptor, doin' what I can

I'm addicted to my children, sir.

I'm all right.

I'm also holding down a job as a shipping clerk. So I believe I met your requirements.

I'm amazed there isn't a little label there that says "spoons".

I'm at 2640 Steiner Street.

I'm at the beginning of a divorce.

I'm being blunt as a spoon, aren't I?

I'm crazy to make a deal with you!

I'm feeling fabulous because I met this beautiful Cuban.

I'm going to respond myself. I'm awfully sorry about this.

I'm gonna cancel it. It's pullin' down the whole afternoon schedule. It's gone.

I'm here, guys.

I'm late. I've got a meeting over at the bank.

I'm mad! You know why? Because next, it's the chimps! There are fewer chimps...

I'm my own man now! Oh, yes!

I'm not a Muslim. I need a face! Oh, God.

I'm not takin' any crap from you, pal.

I'm not... who you think I am.

I'm placing an ad for a housekeeper.

I'm ready for my close up, Mr DeMille.

I'm really proud of you.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry. Mr Lundy is completely booked for the next two months.

I'm sure you'd want the children to step out of the room

I'm sure you're the same and you've done all your homework already.

I've been following your career these past couple of years.

I've been through some really interesting changes!

I've gotta go down and get it.

If I did that, I might never see them again.

If I got home early to be with them, something would go wrong.

If I try to hug 'em, she wonders why. You know what that's like?

If you leave, you're not comin' back in.

If you like that handsome, rugged type.

If you want a paycheck, stick to the script.

If you want to play Gandhi, then do it on somebody else's time.

In different areas of the country.

In regards to my behavior,

In your case, I think not.

Is a carnivore.

Is compensating for smaller genitals.

Is that your lifestyle over the past month has been very unorthodox.

Isn't it traditional to say "I object" or something?

Isn't there enough flesh here for you to feast your eyes on?

It doesn't look good.

It is the court's ruling to award sole custody to Mrs Hillard.

It just didn't work out.

It often disappears with age or entering politics.

It tastes good

It was an accident waiting to happen, OK?

It was Daniel's spontaneity and energy I fell in love with.

It was our junior year in college, and your mother got asked to design this big float.

It would be an honor.

It'll be OK. How do you like it?

It's a dinner show. Hi! Where you from? I'm gonna make you lunch.

It's A Dinosaurus Line!

It's a name. It's short for Stuart.

It's a pain in the padded ass. This is not a way of life. It's just a job.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

It's a work in progress and you're my brother. I will never let you be embarrassed.

It's an infection in your tummy where you get diarrhoea for ever.

It's an island, dear. A glorious one.

It's basically egg whites, creme fraîche, powdered sugar, vanilla and a touch of alum.

It's gonna be all right.

It's good to see you again.

It's gorgeous! Thank you!

It's incredible.

It's just a mask. And this is a body suit. I didn't have any operations or anything.

It's just because everything is so accessible. You designed it.

It's just... I'm still kind of messed up. About everything.

It's like someone saying I can't have air.

It's nice to know they can see me every day.

It's not my fault, honey. If he would get a job and a decent apartment...

It's not something smelling bad. Extinction means there's no more of a particular animal.

It's not working. I need to go older.

It's OK.

It's over.

It's quite all right, dear. No offense taken. I was a little liberal with the atomizer.

It's so important to us that you be there. You're part of the family now.

It's so sad, because marriage can be such a blessing.

It's the same as always. We just have a really big backyard, OK?

It's the wine. Oh, gosh!

It's too late for that.

It's too soon, dear. Really.

It's voice over. An interior monologue. Maybe even the voice of God.

It's... It's so hard.

Ja, my name is llsa Himmelman. I want to know how many children do you have?

Jeez, you're big for a lady. You could play for the 49ers.

Jesus, Miranda. You took my children away from me.

Jesus! God!

Jesus! If I find the misogynistic bastard that invented heels, I'll kill him.

Jonathan Lundy, General Manager, owner?

Jonathan Lundy.

Just be one minute.

Just because they don't love each other doesn't mean that they don't love you.

Just OK?

Just shake them off, like a dog.

Just the way God made ya.

Kids say the darndest things.

Ladies and gentlemen, put your claws together!

Laura, that shipment has been delayed three times.

Let me go up and get him and he'll be right down.

Let me see, my father was American. He flew for the English during the war.

Let me show you to the conference room.

Let your sheets cool down before you bring someone else into the bed. All right?

Let's go in for the kill.

Let's see.

Let's see. I'll have the poached salmon.

Let's see... Nothing.

Leyla, get back in your cell! Don't make me get the hose!

Like me, I guess.

Listen, bottom line...

Listen, I would do anything. I just want to be with them. I know I need that, sir.

Look at it and say "This is not my life"?

Look at me, Moneypenny. I want to undo that bow and get to know you.

Look at that face. You remind me of Stuart Little,

Look at this place! It looks wonderful! All spick and span.

Look at this!

Look at this! My first day as a woman and I'm getting hot flashes.

Look at this. Everything has its place and name tag.

Look, Dad, you're not trying very hard.

Look, Daniel. I know it's gonna take a long time to get over all the fights and

Look... I just want to apologize for being such a pain today.

Loser? Oh, yeah?

Loser.

Lots of luck, smartass.

Lou, millions of kids see this cartoon. It's like telling them "Light up. "

Lover boy's here.

Lydia, dear. Get back inside right now before you freeze.

Lydia! We gotta call the cops!

Ma, he's not really in the mood to talk.

Ma, I think he's in a little bit of denial.

Ma, listen. We got people waitin' for us on the set.

Mantel clocks.

May I see the ad?

Maybe she's right, dear. Maybe their father would be a more appropriate person.

Me most.

Me, too.

Me.

Mine, too! Maybe I could read it to you if I get the position.

Miranda Hillard's.

Miranda, why not let me take care of the kids?

Miranda! Whassup?

Miranda. What a pleasant surprise to see you home so early, dear.

Miranda. What are you home early for, dear?

Miss Hillard? The operator has a Gloria Chaney on hold.

Miss Hillard? The water's boiling.

Miss Robeson, do you have any closing remarks?

Mom said you couldn't have one because of your report card.

Mom's not gonna be home for another four hours, is she?

Mommy, I need to go.

More Arts and Crafts. A Dirk Van Erp lamp, a Stickley chair. Don't be seduced by chintz.

Most of the dinosaurs were herbivorous.

Mr and Mrs Hillard, although these custody proceedings tend to favor the mother,

Mr Hillard will have visitation rights every Saturday.

Mr Hillard, do you consider yourself humorous?

Mr Hillard, since you've determined to act as your own attorney,

Mr Hillard...

Mr Lundy is expecting me for dinner. Will you tell him I'm running late, but I'm on my way?

Mr Sprinkles, boys and girls!

Mrs Doubtfire said we had to.

Mrs Doubtfire, may I ask you a question?

Mrs Doubtfire?

Mrs Doubtfire.

Mrs Doubtfire. He's a she!

Mrs Doubtflier, I've got a letter from Katie...

Mrs Sellner, I just got out of the shower!

Mrs Sellner!

Mrs Sellner! How are you? Always a joy!

Much better mommies and daddies for you.

Murder! Betrayal! Kidnapped!

My children have been potty trained for some time.

My face!

My husband never appreciated it.

My marriage is not ending. It's just on hiatus.

My, you certainly do know your way around a kitchen!

Nancy and I are still looking for the other half of my head.

Nattie, I'll think good thoughts, OK?

Neither.

Never again.

Never.

Newspaper? Are you taking out one of those personal ads?

Next Friday. Bridges Restaurant. Seven o'clock sharp.

No easy task.

No meat, big feet

No more supervised visits. No more court liaison.

No, birdnapped!

No, I don't. But I did.

No, I'm sorry. He hasn't arrived yet.

No, let's find something more your own age.

No, no. Of course not. I...

No, really. I mean, I never held any grudges or anything. I just...

No, we're taking good care of your little boy. Don't worry, Mom.

No!

No! My lungs are blackened!

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. But Danny's told me all about you.

No. No parties.

No. Now.

Nobody like her.

Nonsmoking, please.

Norman Bates!

Not a single body that exists in nature. Look at that.

Nothing further, Your Honor.

Now, we're going to go

Now...

Off your Mercedes, dear? You own that big, expensive car out there?

Oh, but he was a good man, though, really.

Oh, but listen to me. I am going on when you should be telling me about your little ones.

Oh, but that was decades ago!

Oh, certainly, dear.

Oh, damn.

Oh, dear. They say a man who has to buy a big car like that

Oh, films! Will I be introducing these movies on air?

Oh, God, no.

Oh, God, that's so nice.

Oh, God! It's gonna blow!

Oh, God. What am I doing here? This is beyond obsession.

Oh, good! Cos I don't want to jump start ya.

Oh, guys, I'm so glad you could make it.

Oh, guys, please don't be so depressed.

Oh, he's choking. He's choking!

Oh, honey, I don't want Mommy to die.

Oh, I don't mind that, dear. I'd love some heavy cooking.

Oh, I got to help myself! Can't go on! I'm goin' extinct!

Oh, I will not do this. I cannot!

Oh, I'm very sorry, dear. It's my medicine.

Oh, let's see.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, Nattie! Not everyone has their own personal trainer.

Oh, no, dear! It's Kovacs! Welcome, Kovacs!

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. Just go. Leave me here. I'll just sit in the sun and crisp.

Oh, she did, huh?

Oh, shit!

Oh, sir!

Oh, thank you very much.

Oh, thank you, James. But right now... it's time for the Raptor Rap!

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

Oh, that one.

Oh, that's mine, dear. I'm a messy house guest.

Oh, that's very good. Will you excuse me, dear? Call of nature.

Oh, the terrorists! They ran that way. It was a run by fruiting.

Oh, well. That part was always...

Oh, what a nightmare!

Oh, yeah. It's a busy life, Ma. Places to go, faces to paint.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes. I do.

Oh, your tea!

Oh! Then I'm your woman.

Oh! There you go!

Oh! Wouldn't we all! I'll go get her.

Oh. I didn't know there was someone else in here. Sorry.

Oh. I'm glad to hear that.

Oh. Poor dolt.

OK, everyone. Let's pray.

OK, gimme five.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK. Pinch of basil.

OK. Well, let's go, kids. Swim time.

Older? Like Shelley Winters older or Shirley MacLaine older?

On the way to the bathroom... Couldn't keep her hands off me.

Once I held them, I was hooked.

Once the father of your children is out of the picture,

One for an educational film and TV company heavy responsibility.

One of the most honorable creatures in all of literature.

Onward and upward!

Ooh, my little ankle biters.

Ooh! "Planet of the Apes": Who gets the role? Roddy McDowall! I'd be better than that!

Or two families.

Ornithischia.

Our problems would be waiting for us when we got back.

Oy, it was such a shandeh.

Party's over.

People change, Ron.

Piss off, Lou.

Please promise you'll come with us, Mrs Doubtfire. You just have to.

Please welcome... James Browntosaurus!

Please. I can't cancel. It's a huge opportunity.

Police! Civic authorities! ASPCA! ASAP!

Prepare yourself... for the wild kingdom.

Pudgie, don't smoke.

Ready? OK.

Really?

Really?

Really? Well, I would adore a good cup of English tea.

Really? Well, not any more.

Really? Who?

Red is the traditional color for streetwalkers.

Rushing? Well, you could have been a little bit faster, dear.

Salutations, snack.

See if this guy will.

See ya.

She isn't real! We have to stop referring to her as if she were a real person.

She says Daniel has some woman living with him pretending to be his sister!

She smells funny, too.

She uses it and the lights dim. It's like a prison movie.

She wants to know if you want to come stay with her.

She... brought out the best in them.

She'd never punish us.

She's a social worker, dear. Really!

She's a sweetie pie.

She's got a power tool in the bedroom, dear. It's her personal jackhammer.

She's got crabs. And I don't mean Dungeness.

She's not as good. She always skips parts, and she never does the voices.

She's supposed to be older and very unattractive.

Shouldn't we wait for Mrs Doubtfire?

Shoving a cigarette into Pudgie's mouth is morally irresponsible.

Sick. Mom!

Sis, are you in here?

Sis! Oh, sis!

Sit down!

So it was quite literally the drink that killed him.

So nice I don't have to save face any more, Mrs Sellner!

So sad when that happens!

So sorry about that. Just one moment.

So what do you want me to do?

So you have to promise me, it's just us. All right?

So, please.

So, whose rugrats?

Soda with a lime, please.

Some children live with their uncle or aunt.

Some families have one mommy, some families have one daddy,

Some live with their grandparents, and some children live with foster parents.

Some woman watches me with the kids like I'm some sort of deviant.

Something a little less tawdry.

Sorry about the pepper. I was...

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry. My sister's, not yours.

Sorry. Oh, forgive me.

Sounds like an amazing woman. Too good to be true.

Start from scratch. Give it... maybe a musical number.

Steiner. Oh, how lovely.

Stu?

Stu. That's more of a thick soup than a name, really.

Stu's taking me out to dinner.

Stuart Dunmeyer?

Supervised, sir?

Surprise!

Table 39!

Take five.

Take my advice: Don't cancel.

Tea? Cup of TNT.

Tell me, dear. What was so horrible about this man you lived with for 14 years?

Tell me. Why would Mrs Doubtfire be a good host?

Thank you very much for humoring an old lady.

Thank you very much.

Thank you very much. Thank you! All right!

Thank you, dear.

Thank you, Miranda. I was going for a refugee motif.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. Any other choice phrases you'd like to teach our five year old, Daniel?

Thank you. Cheers. Your health.

Thank you. Court is adjourned.

Thank you. Oh, let's see here!

Thank you. Sorry about that.

Thank you. That's very nice of you.

Thank you. There it is.

Thanks for the time, warden.

Thanks to mobile phones.

Thanks to this Amish home study course I'm doing.

Thanks. You got to see the dress rehearsal.

That beige concealer. When are we gettin' more of it?

That line is not in the script. Why did you add it?

That shipment's gotta make a six o'clock flight to LA.

That would make my day! He is such a stud muffin.

That's a pretty impressive bauble you got her.

That's a wrap, folks! Thank you very much.

That's disgusting!

That's funny.

That's my rule. I hope it's not too harsh for you, dear.

That's not enough.

That's not the reason you divorced him, was it?

That's Smythe, not Smith, dear.

That's the formaldehyde. That's why Granny's so well preserved.

That's very funny. Where the hell are you goin'?

The bone dance, eh? Rumpleforeskin? Baloney bop?

The bone dance, eh? Rumpleforeskin? Baloney bop?

The house was so warm and cosy, the beds were always made, and the dinner was...

The house would be wrecked and I'd have to clean it up.

The kids are all doing better in school. Chris is passing every single subject.

The lobby will resemble a music salon with inspiration from the French Second Empire.

The moment I looked at them, I was crazy about them.

The most revolting thing I've ever seen.

The only solution is total and lifelong celibacy.

The only thing you'll be watching is Deep Sea N N.

The place looks great. The food's terrific.

The reptile like Saurischia

The teacher liked it.

The truth is, I didn't like who I was when I was with him.

The whole time...

Then I've got to do what I've got to do.

Then why did you say that?

Then you box those cans over there. Ship them. Then more will come in.

There are all sorts of different families, Katie.

There have been two big developments! I'm finally starting to come into my own!

There should be a disclaimer: Do not operate heavy machinery while watching this show.

There we go again! I'll go get Danny. He'll be right with you. Hold on.

There will be a continuance of these proceedings in 90 days.

There you go, dear. Oh! You've got your cream and sugar. It's a little cappu tea no.

There. You see? I agree.

These sketches are meant to reflect your desire to have it completely restored.

They both say to me "I'm easy. "

They don't fight all the time and they can become better people.

They may not see each other for days, weeks, months or even years at a time.

They miss her terribly.

They'll swallow anything. You've got to be ready to pop it out.

They're a little more complicated, Nattie.

They're both too brazen, dear. They cry "harlot".

They're doin' it! I'm sittin' on a gold mine!

Things are really starting to take shape, and I'm blossoming! Really, I am!

Things were hairy for a while, but I'm in great shape now!

This hollandaise smells like burnt rubber.

This is a cartoon, not a friggin' Oprah Winfrey Special.

This is certainly a rough meeting. It's not going very well for me.

This is my nightly meringue mask. Part of my beauty regimen.

This is the nearest employment office. I took the liberty of making an appointment for you.

This isn't fair, Mom. Why do we need a housekeeper anyway?

This lovely Dances With Wolves motif. What's your Indian name: Shops With A Fist?

Those are the ties that bind.

Three months in which to get a job, keep it and create a suitable home.

Three terrific kids, and I'm crazy about them. Especially little Natalie. Look at her.

To us.

To us. The start of a business relationship.

To your peculiar and potentially harmful behavior.

Today we'll be talking about dinosaurs.

Tomorrow, poppets, we're taking a wonderful trip.

Touch me again and I'll drown you, you bastard.

Union Square Inn. This is better.

Very impressive, Mr Hillard!

Wait, hang on.

We all are, sweetie.

We also realize, perhaps now more than ever, that it is not in a child's best interest

We can't. We're a family. You know?

We have a history.

We have a wonderful show today.

We have Mr Van Zandt from the Sierra Club,

We have to leave now! I have to go! We're going.

We only get to come here once a week. That's not very much.

We will re examine this case one year from now.

We'll move, and hopefully our problems won't follow us.

We're a smash! Number one in our time slot!

We're going across the Atlantic Ocean to England, where I came from.

We're in the middle of Charlotte's Web. Who's gonna finish it?

We're looking for intelligent life. Oops, mistake!

We've been trying to work them out for 14 years.

We've been watching every day.

We've just grown apart. We're different.

We've just had our first home cooked meal. I'm domestic now, huh?

We've... The kids...

Welcome to Euphegenia's house.

Well, at first, nothing.

Well, I also wanted to thank you.

Well, I always hoped you'd find happiness.

Well, I didn't make it myself. I cooked it. I sliced it.

Well, I do voices.

Well, I don't do washing. I don't do basements.

Well, I gotta go back in, but...

Well, I hope the dear lady's all right.

Well, I was a fullback. But that's European football, dear.

Well, I wonder what's happened to Mrs Doubtfire.

Well, I'll put on a chicken.

Well, in the words of Porky Pig:

Well, just make yourself at home. I'll be right back.

Well, let's take a vacation with the kids, as a family. Get you away from work.

Well, milady! It's a pleasure to see you again!

Well, some of it's comfortable... No!

Well, that's all for today. Bye bye.

Well, tomorrow we'll have Frank, who is a make up artist.

Well, you never...

Well, you'll be happy to know that I now am holding down two jobs.

What a beautiful little car for Don Juan.

What a perfectly appointed little cubby!

What about the courts? That legal stuff.

What are you lookin' at?

What are you lookin' at? Show's over.

What can I do for you?

What can you do to help the ratings on the kid show?

What do you mean, you do voices?

What happened?

What is this? Turn it off, will you?

What kind of idiot kept this guy on the air for 25 years?

What the hell is going on around here?

What?

What?!

What's amoebic dysentery?

What's the change?

When did he... pass on?

When I'm not with Daniel, I'm better.

When Mrs Doubtfire was a part of their lives.

Where no human being has ever been.

Where the hell have you been? I ordered you another Scotch.

Where? Oh. On the board.

Which one's the dinosaur?

Who could resist that little face?

Who could that be? And do we have enough time?

Why am I the only one that feels there has to be rules?

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

Why don't you go over and pick what you'd like now so they could reserve it?

Why don't you guys go on upstairs? I'll be up in a minute.

Why in God's name are you dressed like a woman?!

Why wasn't I an only child?

Will you excuse me, dear? I have to check my wrap.

Winston.

Winston's idea of foreplay was "Effie, brace yourself. "

Wish I could.

With the court liaison. Mrs Sellner.

Won't have anything to do with kids? You won't even date a woman with kids.

Would you mind coming on an interview? Say, Monday night at 7:30?

Yeah, depressed. I mean, his marriage is ending.

Yeah, everything.

Yeah, honey. It's me.

Yeah, I'll tell him, Ma.

Yeah, Ma, he told me all about it.

Yeah, Ma. I heard, I heard.

Yeah, you'd better.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Hold on, Ma.

Yeah. Me, too.

Yes, but...

Yes, here we are. Please...

Yes, I am.

Yes, I was captain of the women's team. We won three university championships.

Yes, it is.

Yes, well...

Yes, well... Miranda's been raving about you.

Yes! Calls from Detroit, Cleveland, Chicago, Los Angeles...

Yes.

Yes. I'm Miranda Hillard.

Yes. This is off my Mercedes.

Yes. Well, we have your number. Thank you so much for coming.

Yes. Well, would you tell me a little bit about yourself?

Yikes.

Yo, yo, see me, I'm livin' below the soil

You are entitled to make a closing statement at this time.

You ate my begonias! God!

You can never be too prepared when little ones are around.

You can sense it, dear the way she talks about her father.

You can't get heatstroke twice in the same year.

You can't imagine what it was like being married to Daniel.

You can't put words in Pudgie's mouth if his mouth isn't moving.

You did nothing wrong. You got that?

You do that. Call me back.

You don't have to be a psychic to sense that.

You don't have to play down to 'em, just play to 'em.

You don't have to run off when she honks the horn.

You don't really like wearin' that stuff, do you?

You got it. Coming right your way, dear!

You gotta personalize it. Make it fun. If it's something you'd enjoy, they'd enjoy it.

You have all the fun and I get whatever's left over.

You just sat there in that courtroom and let that judge pass that despicable sentence.

You just tell me what to do.

You know what you gotta do?

You know, grown up problems...

You know, some parents get along much better when they don't live together.

You lied... You know what? I don't wanna do this any more.

You remind me of someone.

You see, she's not a very good housekeeper. But she makes a fabulous cup of English tea.

You ship 'em.

You spend too much time with those corporate clones you used to despise.

You take all these cans. You box 'em and you ship 'em.

You want me to pretend everything's all right? Put on a happy face? Smile?

You want to be Kilimanjaro on your first date inaccessible.

You want to feed him?

You will have supervised visitation rights every Saturday.

You?

You're a different person. You really are. You're great.

You're going to be all right.

You're home a little early. I was gonna clean it all up before you got home.

You're home early, girlfriend.

You're my goddamn kids, too!

You're right. I'm sorry. I'll try harder.

You're the man of the house now.

You're welcome.

You've been able to fool a lot of people into believing that you're a 60 year old woman.

You've got to give your divorce time.

You've had a hard day. You just sit yourself down on that stool and leave the tea to me.

Young men who don't do their studies often miss out on more amusing activities.

Your dad's gonna take you for a few hours every day after school.

Your Honor, in the past two months, I've secured a residence, refurbished it

Your Honor, please.

Your tummy looks different from my daddy's.

39.

135.27. 135 dollars?! That's certainly...

A little Tyrannosaurus rex comes out... Hillard, get your ass to the truck.

A party? Yes!

A Scotch drinker, huh? That's my kinda guy! Gentlemen, start your engines.

A stripper? Ooh, please!

A waitress? Here? Oh, yeah.

About Mommy? I'll try. I really will.

Actors. What? Let's ask the technicians.

Alan, I was wondering if... You want one of them?

All right, dear. Here's one on the cheek.

All right, everyone. Calm down. Freeze! Or you're gonna get it!

All with offers to syndicate. Hollywood!

Amazing! Oh, Nattie.

And call her a princess. Oh, yes.

And here's a monkey bite! Oh, you wicked, wicked monkey!

And I have to clean up! It's not toxic waste, just a few party plates!

And one boy. Oh, the little prince. How wonderful.

And the other? Cleaning houses. Not mine.

And these must be the cherubs. Yes.

And who is your gentleman caller? This is Stu.

And you, sir? I'll have the jambalaya.

Anything in May? Not a thing.

Anything you need, put it on my tab. Thank you, dear.

Are my children ready yet? No, our children are not ready yet...

Are they ready? No. They haven't had dessert yet.

Are you all right? Fine.

Are you all right? Yes.

Are you sure? Just remember, pain is beauty.

Are you sure? Oh, definitely!

Are you wearing bug spray? Nattie!

Ask your mom. I took care of it.

Big girl! Your sister is English?

Bridges? Yes! Bridges.

Bridges? Yes.

By the looks of you, that water's so cold! Yes, well...

Bye bye. Ta ta.

Can I give you a hand? Oh, no, dear! I don't need a hand.

Can I have another? Sure.

Can't you do something? He's made his decision.

Celibacy? Yes.

Come along, Nattie. Hello, darling!

Come, Mrs Doubtfire. Don't be bashful. No, dear. They've outlawed whaling.

Congratulations. No.

Could you tell me your name? My name?

Dad? Daddy!

Dad? Yeah, honey.

Dad? Yeah.

Dad. Oh, my...

Daniel, hi. Could you make me a woman?

Daniel? Yeah.

Diarrhoea for ever? And your body dries up and you die.

Did you decorate this yourself? Yes, I did.

Did you have fun in school? I painted a picture of a rainbow.

Do you know about England? It's an island.

Do you know that book, Stuart Little? Yeah! It's one of my favorites.

Do you know what that means, poppets? Did you say "puppet"?

Do you speak English? I am job.

Doubtfire. I beg your pardon?

Enough already. It's a man. How would you know?

Excuse me? You know, dear. Sink the sub.

Excuse me. May I have a menu? Of course.

Forgive me. Excuse me. I'm all right. There we go.

Friday at seven. Bridges.

Go ahead. Ask her. I'll go ask her.

Go get your stuff. Hurry up. All right.

Go, dear. I'll be fine. Your day's on me, Mrs Doubtfire.

Go. OK. Thank you.

God bless you. We'll have to do the entire face.

Good evening, Mr Lundy. I'm meeting someone. Is he here?

Good! How about you, Mrs Doubtfire? Oh, you wicked, wicked man!

Got your swimsuits? Wanna go for a dip? That'd be great!

Gregory, Henderson and Hillard. Miranda Hillard, please.

Had a little accident. Be careful this time. She's an old woman.

He just wanted to come and meet the kids. Oh, did he?

He knows who I am. Yeah.

He wants to make it into a $500 a night B&B. Yes, I read about it.

He was an alcoholic? No. He was hit by a Guinness truck.

He was quite fond of the drink. Ah.

He's been doing very well. That's him.

He's choking here! Call 911! Oh, no. I killed the bastard.

He's half man, half woman! What?!

He's pissed already. Mrs Doubtfire?

Hello! You look lovely! Hi.

Hello. Bridges Restaurant. May I help you? Yes. My name is Daniel Hillard.

Help me... What are you doing? Daniel...

Here and there, dear. All over, really. Yes?

Hey, here's your food. How much is it?

Hi, Evelyn. Thanks for the jam. She says you're welcome.

Hi, guys. Hi, Mom.

Hi. Hi, honey.

How about a dinner meeting? Wow. OK.

How about a drink? Sure. I'll have what he's having.

How are we doin' over here? No, no.

How much are you gonna pay? $300 a week. Is that all right?

How tragic! Yes.

I can do it for you. Oh, no, please. I'm quite capable of...

I can do it for you. Oh, no, please. I'm quite capable of...

I can't believe it. What, dear?

I can't get rid of Mrs Doubtfire. She's terrific. Why not?

I can't. Please, don't. It's bingo night, dear. Cancel it.

I didn't know anybody was watching. I was watching. That's funny stuff.

I don't know what's happening. What is it, dear?

I feel like Gloria Swanson. You look like her mother.

I have a right as their father. Please? All right. Anything else you wanna see?

I have to go take my medicine now. We have water at the table.

I have two girls and a boy. Oh, a boy!

I hope you're up for a little competition. I beg your pardon?

I kinda like the black one. Me, too.

I love you. I love you.

I miss Dad. Me, too.

I promise. Thank you!

I read about it in a science book. Why would you want Mommy to die?

I thought you couldn't pick us up. Well, I got off early.

I told her he doesn't even have a sister. Mrs Sellner's probably mistaken.

I told him you'd call first thing tomorrow. Yes, I will.

I wanted to comment on the situation. What situation?

I was angry. Oh, God.

I wasn't that young. I went to kiss her...

I'd be better than Charlton Heston! And your rug is better, too.

I'd go with the short, black one. Yeah. It's the most fun.

I'll come with you. No.

I'll deliver the message personally, sir. Thank you.

I'll have to get back to you. Wow!

I'll meet him any time, anywhere. Sorry. There's nothing I can do.

I'll miss you. Ditto.

I'm giving you three months, Mr Hillard. Thank you.

I'm not gonna wax. Don't worry. We'll just lightly spackle.

I'm so glad. When is this enchanted evening?

I'm sorry. You're right. No harm done.

I'm very impressed. Really?

If you can do it, I can. I'll bet so!

In a band? I just wanna know one thing.

In the balls! Yeah!

Is everything all right, ma'am? Fan bloody tastic.

Is it? Yes. He's a client. And a friend.

Is this gonna hurt? Don't whine. Just relax.

Is your ticker all right? Topnotch.

Isn't he fabulous? Kind of, dear.

Isn't that the pretty picture! Oh. Mrs Doubtfire.

It has? Yeah.

It rubbed off. From whom?

It was lovely to have met you! Lovely to meet you.

It was lovely to have met you! Lovely to meet you.

It was lovely to meet you. You too, dear.

It was the drink that killed him. How awful.

It's a full house. Some cards don't live at home any more.

It's good. Yeah.

It's homework time. OK? Yeah, but... after Dick Van Dyke.

It's on me. No, thanks.

It's right in here. What a lovely home you have.

Just us? Just us.

Let me start this tea. Oh, no, dear. Let me get that for you.

Let's go say hi. Let's do, please.

Listen, I'd like to hear more of your ideas. My ideas?

Little Jack Horny? The horizontal mambo? Mrs Doubtfire...

Look. The kids love it. Mommy, please!

Lydie... There's Stu!

May I help you, ma'am? Yes, dear. Thank you very much.

May I take your order, ma'am? Oh, yes.

Miranda. Could I talk to you?

Miranda. Stu!

Miranda. Stu!

More pink than red. Good idea.

Mr Hillard, this ruling is only temporary. Oh, good.

Mr Lundy. Oh, hi.

Mrs Doubtfire, he's choking! Hold on, dear.

Mrs Doubtfire, may I speak with you? Ooh, certainly, dear.

Mrs Doubtfire, please. Am I being a little graphic? Sorry.

Mrs Doubtfire, you look wonderful. Thank you.

Mrs Doubtfire! Help is on the way!

Mrs Doubtfire! What?!

Mrs Doubtfire! Help us! He's choking! Help is on the way, dear!

Next week. You hear that, Ma? Next week.

Nice. It's OK.

No shit! Watch your mouth, young man!

No way. He says he'll think about it, Ma.

No, I feel like Bubbee. This is not working. Don't worry.

No, I'm stuffed. Garlic bread? I made it myself.

No. Well... It's good to meet you.

No. Anything but this. Then upstairs, my little nose miners.

No. It's not that. The reality, Mr Hillard,

Not just yet. That's cool. It's a guy thing.

Odd. She's never mentioned you. No?

Oh, and your bag too, ma'am. Drop it!

Oh, dear, it's all right. No, I'm really sorry.

Oh, God. Oh, God!

Oh, I'd love to, dear. Wonderful.

Oh, is she here? Yes, she is.

Oh, Miranda, I'm sorry. You don't have to say that.

Oh, my God! Chris! Wait!

Oh, my God! Is this your residence, ma'am?

Oh, my God. Doesn't that make you a little mad?

Oh, my goodness! I'm so sorry! It's my fault.

Oh, they're a spirited bunch. Yes.

Oh. What a wonderful résumé. Thank you, dear.

OK, everybody. Are we ready to order? Yes, I believe we are. Children, fire away.

****stani? That's right. In many stores they do.

Please join us. Don't ask me that, dear.

Punished? She's lying.

Put them on and let's get out of here. OK, Mom.

Relax. I'll be out in a minute. Thank you! Great.

See you Saturday. Say goodbye to your father.

Shall we start? Yes. Let's start. I don't want it to get cold.

Shall we tell them where we'll be tomorrow? Yeah. They wanna know.

She brought out the best in you. And you.

She says it's an emergency. Excuse me.

She wants you, dear. Well, I'll be right back.

She's got 'em? She's got everything.

Shouldn't you cover your shoulders? No! I'm fine.

Shut up, Lydie. Yeah. You got us into this.

Smoking or nonsmoking? Nonsmoking.

Smoking! Mrs Doubtfire, you don't smoke.

Smoking. All right. Table 39.

So passionate. Really?

So what about that history test? Don't ask.

So would I. Great!

Soccer? Yes. You play soccer, too?

Sometimes I have... Criticize all you want. Show's terrible.

Sorry I scared you. Come here, Chris. No. No, it's OK.

Sorry I'm late. Did you get my message? Yes. Sit down.

Sorry. That's quite all right.

Stu has invited you and the kids to join us. Oh, how lovely! One big, happy family.

Stuart Dunmeyer? He said you were acquaintances.

Sure. Good.

Tanya will seat you. Table 15. This way, please.

Tell him to purée the salmon, if you will. Purée the salmon.

Thank you for knocking. Yeah.

Thank you. By the way, do you have any special skills?

That would be wonderful. And who is this strapping young lad?

That'd be great! Please!

That's all my stuff. This is all my fault.

That's all right. Sorry about my spray.

That's amazing. Stunning.

That's what I'm interested in. Bingo!

The man has five o'clock shadow at 8.30am. All right, we'll start with make up.

The one in the middle, I think. Nah, you're wrong. They're all extinct.

The restaurant Bridges? Friday at seven.

The whole time?! I'm sorry, Miranda. Please?

There's 140. Do you have change? No.

They always have other intentions. This is business, mostly.

They have a queen and a royal family. Oh! Just like a poker game!

They'd be entertained and get information. That's kinda my theory.

They're biased. That's a mistrial. This session costs the studio thousands.

They're very upset with me right now. Probably the divorce.

This Friday at seven? Yes. At my favorite restaurant. Bridges.

This is all I need. Why can't Dad do it?

This is Chris. Hello, Christopher.

This is great! Isn't this posh!

This is Natalie. Oh, hello, Natalie.

This is terrific, Dad. You want more spaghetti?

This looks terrific. Where's Mrs Doubtfire?

This never would have happened. Yes, it would.

Two strippers? Hoo hah, boy!

Very mad! Tell people about it.

We gotta dial 911 now! Why?

We have nothing in common. Oh, sure we do. We love each other.

We'd be re enacting the Titanic. Come on, Mrs Doubtfire.

We'll be back. All right.

We'll be getting back to you. Thank you.

Well, I have two girls... Oh, two precious gems.

Well, I look forward to meeting you. Oh, lovely, dear. Me, too.

Well, not exactly. Really? Oh. That's a pity.

Well, thanks. I think kids'd like it.

Well... Oh, that's so sweet!

What about Joan Collins? I don't think I have the strength.

What about their real father? What can I say? The guy's a loser. I'll see ya.

What are you saying? Daniel, the kids need you.

What did you do? I painted a picture of a bunny.

What if you're married to one? We're also responding to a noise violation.

What was the matter with Winston? Oh, dear.

What's France like? Very beautiful.

What's the difference? Some Scotch tape and red hair dye.

Where were you guys? Upstairs, doing our homework.

Which one? What's the occasion?

Who did this? Uncle Frank and Aunt Jack.

Who needs a husband when I've got you? Surely you don't mean that, dear?

Who was your previous employer? I was in a band. Severe Tyre Damage.

Why? I was working all the time.

Would you care to have a cup of tea? I'd love that.

Would you like something to drink? Oh, yes. A good stiff Chardonnay.

Would you like to come in? I'll wait outside.

Would you like to join us? Oh. I thought I saw Clint Eastwood.

Yeah! Oh, isn't that amazing?

Yes, dear? I take sugar in my tea.

Yes? Did you and Mr Doubtfire ever...

Yes? We need another woman's opinion.

Yes. Oh, that's so sad.

Yes. Why?

Yes. Excuse me. Certainly.

Yes. Excuse me. That's all right.

You came from England? It's a wonderful country.

You can't go now. Honey, I have to.

You chose the career. I have no choices here. I have no choices!

You cooked? Yes. I cook, I bake, I sew.

You die? You don't have to be so graphic with her.

You dog! You scallywag!

You guys go. I'm sorry, Dad.

You have his eyes. Only if he fills out a donor card.

You hurt me, too! You ripped my heart out!

You mean you got fired? No, I quit. For reasons of conscience.

You must have had your share of problems. Oh, of course, dear. What marriage doesn't?

You owe me a kiss, Kovacs. I'm gonna give you two.

You promise? Yeah.

You see, he's the kind... Excuse me, dear.

You set me up every time to be the bad guy. Oh, lighten up, will ya?

You're absolutely right. I'm not a therapist. I just see what I see.

You're going into the men's room. No! Oh, so it is!

Your living environment... It's more like a habitat, really.

Your mom. She's fine.

...because you are an hour early and you were late dropping them off.

...did you feel any desire...

"'How was it down there? ' asked Mr Little,

"'It was all right,' said Stuart. "

"Dear Mrs Doubtfire Two months ago my mom and dad decided to separate. "

"Did I lose my family?"

"DWF seeks WWM with BMW, into light B&D"?

"Expert in first aid and CPR."

"Is there anything I could do to get my parents back together?"

"My brother Andrew says that we aren't a real family any more. Is this true?"

"Now they live in different houses. "

"Preponderance. "

"She kissed Stuart and thanked him. "

"Sincerely, Katie McCormick. "