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Mr. Deeds (2002)

"Mr. Deeds" is a heartwarming comedy film released in 2002. It tells the story of small-town guy Longfellow Deeds, portrayed by Adam Sandler, who unexpectedly inherits a vast fortune from a deceased relative. As Deeds navigates his new life as a billionaire, he becomes entangled in a web of greed and deceit. The film features a talented cast including Winona Ryder, Steve Buscemi, and John Turturro. If you're in the mood for a light-hearted laugh, you can easily find and enjoy this movie. Play and download the sounds of "Mr. Deeds" here.

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A beloved visionary who turned a single radio station

A character no man could fake.

A long tim e with the squigglies.

A man with faith no man could shake.

A producer here at Inside Access?

A simple DNA test will show

A strength no man could break.

ABBA, the band?

Absolutely. Thanks. Love you, Anderson.

Acting weird, not myself.

Acting weird, not myself.

Actually, I just inherited $40 billion.

Actually, Stephen King

Actually, you're a little too tall.

After all, you're 82 years old.

After he finished with her cats,

After I'd come back from play.

After punching out some society types,

Al, I'm gonna walk home.

All I want is your friendship, Emilio.

All my friends do this when they're wasted.

All of Blake's 50,000 employees

All of us here at IA take pride in our ability to handle

All of you and myself included,

All over this lovely little town, do you?

All right, baby, I'm ready for you.

All right, don't get all hyperactive on me, buddy.

All right, have a good night. My back hurts!

All right, Miss Kitty. Bye, bye.

All right, now. All right.

All right, so be it.

All right, thank you.

All right, thank you.

All right, they do it all the time. Here we go.

All right! All right! That was good.

All right. Here you go.

All the good times we could've had.

All this hip, snide, smart alecky...

All you Winchestertonfieldvillians,

Almost every day for 30 years.

Also, when Deeds gave away his fortune,

Although it is a shame about that Cedar fellow

Am I out or safe?

America's newest billionaire...

An instant classic!

And a tire swing in the front yard.

And Abbott and Costello movies.

And all the king's horses and all the king's men

And also wore more cologne than any man should wear.

And Blake Media contributes 50% of our budget.

And Blake Media is no more.

And broke my arm.

And burned myself with lit cigarettes.

And firing all those nice people.

And get back to work where the real challenges await.

And getting malted milkshakes.

And giving Mac McGrath the beating of a lifetime.

And going to some meetings with you. What?

And have a New York City dinner with me?

And he always tried to do the right thing.

And he ran me all the way to Dr. Pepper's.

And he was dreaming about becoming a disc jockey someday.

And I ain't even gonna touch a football

And I don't know what my natural hair color is anymore.

And I got to hang out with him, just like this,

And I have information that will help you get Deeds out of town.

And I know that it's definitely that forever kind of love...

And I must follow it now in love.

And I really did have that Holly Hobbie notebook

And I remember the time I fell out of old Boo Radley's apple tree

And I want that guy's life story by then. I'm talking to you, Jim.

And I'd be willing to spend the rest of my life

And I'd like to live up to my word.

And I'd like to win you a Super Bowl.

And I'm a little sensitive about it.

And I'm also talking to you, Babe. Babe?

And I'm going to recite it for you.

And I'm going to see him tonight,

And I'm telling him everything.

And in so many areas

And it cannot be allowed to happen.

And it cannot be allowed to happen.

And it made me realize I don't know who I am.

And just whack my foot.

And know that we are always here for you.

And let the Post take your story?

And letting Deeds find out about it.

And make a difference in the world.

And make a difference in the world.

And Mama, she passed while giving the birth to me.

And my arm is killing me!

And my daddy wants to speak to you.

And my father, before he passed away

And people might think any instability you show

And put Bubble Yum in our hair

And renegotiate my bullshit contract.

And sends it to one of the big card companies.

And sources indicate that Blake,

And squeeze my girlfriend's big, fake boobs.

And stupidity won in straight sets.

And that bullshit you're talking about paid for all of it.

And that I would go to the end of the earth.

And that time we drank all the beers?

And the linguini. That actually took me

And the rightful heir to $40 billion!

And there's nothing you can do to stop me.

And they got some cartoons in there also.

And they have this say at the annual stockholders' meeting.

And this is the dining room where we would have our meals

And what do you do now?

And what do you do now?

And what do you want to tell me?

And when he was age nine,

And writing notes in my little Holly Hobbie notebook.

And yeah, I wanted to slide down those wicked awesome poles.

And you can go home $40 billion richer.

And you nearly succeeded according to Miss Dawson.

And you ordered chicken parmesan?

And you stop soaping your ass.

And you, Long Long Longfellow,

And you'll get your $40 billion.

And you're gonna work for 60 Minutes,

Anderson, what's up, buddy?

Anderson, you liked that, didn't you?

Anything to take back what I did to him.

Anyway, your chicken parmesan should be ready soon.

Anyways, this is what happened to my uncle.

Apology accepted.

Are gonna buy that stock for $40 billion,

Are you all right?

Are you sure about that?

As this guy's pretending to be.

At, like, 3:00 in the morning, and DJ for an hour.

Awesome job, by the way, Your Majesty.

Babe, no one is as good

Babe, this footage you're getting, gorgeous.

Babe, what are you staying here for? I have a spare bedroom.

Babe? Where's Babe?

Be careful, Deeds!

Bear a striking resemblance to Babe Bennett,

Because he doesn't share our sense of ironic detachment.

Because he lived a life of love.

Because he was a super cool guy.

Because I am so deeply in love with you,

Because I don't think so.

Because of him, 50,000 people have jobs.

Before she starts boning other guys, kid. Boo Yah!

Begging you to give me another chance

Besides, you don't want to have to touch my right foot.

Biggest mistake of your lives!

Blah, blah, blah, I'm a dirty tramp.

Blue shutters and a big red door.

Blue shutters, red door, tire swing.

Boy, you kind of snuck up on me there.

Bring your bony ass over here. Whoo!

But bounced back after a statement

But call me if you need me, all right?

But don't forget, he was related to you.

But don't stoop to their level.

But everybody was too scared to talk to him.

But he ain't fooling me.

But I got a feeling it's gonna end

But I know some people who like them.

But I needed to spice it up a bit.

But I really love you.

But I suggest you change your attitude,

But I think anything over $30 billion's just gravy.

But if I lose control of this company, it'll be catastrophic.

But if you came to Mandrake Falls,

But if you want to be my friend, I'll take that.

But it can't hurt to pretend.

But kind of in a grosser way.

But money, that was the last thing I thought about.

But my grandma said to me,

But now they're on their way back

But that Hallmark is one tough cookie to crack.

But that's awful!

But the problem is what can happen when you decide

But the weird thing is I got no feeling left in it.

But they made an unscheduled stop in Connecticut.

But until then...

But wait. Doesn't Pam Dawson

But what happens when a reporter becomes part of what she's reporting?

But while I'm gone, I know I'll miss you all a lot.

But you are preaching to the wrong choir.

But you don't look too sick to me, Murph.

But you're not those things you wanted to be, are you?

By Blake's longtime number 2, Chuck Cedar.

Calm down. Calm down.

Can I take you to the hospital?

Can we give you a ride to the airport?

Can you slink down?

Cat killer! Cat killer!

Cecil Anderson, General Counsel of Blake Media.

Chicken parmesan? Terrific, thank you.

Chop that wood!

Chuck and I, along with some of the partners,

Chuck, I think we're there.

Come on, Babe, snap out of it.

Come on, big man. Upsy daisy.

Come on, I know I didn't. I wanted to be a fireman.

Come on, it's little Pammy Dawson!

Come on, sit down, please.

Come on, we'll catch you.

Come on, you okay? You okay?

Congratulations, Deeds,

Congratulations, you have a spastic colon.

Cool. Why would you want to do that?

Could we renegotiate and pay you less?

Could you put on Channel 8, please?

Couldn't think of anything else that rhymes with schlub.

Crazy lady! Babies, where are you?

Customers? Oh, sick kids.

Cute, bigmouth. Sir?

Damn you, Old Spice.

Damn, these things are fast!

Dancing around like the Keebler Elf.

Dated April 12, 1957.

Deeds joined forces with the original bad boy of tennis, John McEnroe.

Deeds, be careful!

Deeds, I can't come to work today.

Deeds, Kevin won the Heisman Trophy two years ago.

Deeds, nice to meet you.

Deeds, Preston Blake was your mother's uncle.

Deeds, there's something I have to tell you.

Deeds! Deeds! Deeds! Deeds!

Deedsy was always the best speaker in school.

Deedsy, you sick ass mo' fo'.

Depraved and insane is better.

Did anybody here dream about becoming a psychiatrist?

Did you dream about becoming a savvy investor one day

Did you used to have a kind of hump on your back?

Didn't feel that. Isn't that awesome?

Disguised as a giant carton of ice cream.

Dismantling this company

Do I absolutely have to?

Do you get any famous people in here?

Do you have any idea how much you hurt him?

Do you know when he'll be back?

Do you people want to be tabloid journalists?

Do you remember their names?

Do you remember when we went to the zoo,

Do you think you can hang on for a second?

Do you write your poems with a crayon, Deeds?

Does anyone know a Dr. Mendlesohn?

Does anyone wish to make a statement?

Doesn't he look like Mr. French?

Doesn't try to run me over with his motorcycle again.

Doing a little business.

Don't be a sucker.

Don't be misled. These are all lies.

Don't be silly, Deeds.

Don't be sorry, that was unbelievable.

Don't worry about a thing, Deedsy, I'll take care of everything.

Don't worry about it, he'll be back.

Don't worry about what happened.

Don't worry, I'll get him.

Don't worry! Get up there now. Get going!

Don't you go and spend it all on some fancy record player.

Don't you, Johnny Mac?

Drawn up for you to sign.

Dreamt about her last night.

Easy with that Longfellow stuff.

Either for or against this buyout plan.

Either for or against this buyout plan.

Emilio, it looks beautiful. Thank you.

Enjoy your Pebbles.

Enough about that. Tell me more about this girl.

Even the little guy.

Even though his face was frozen that way,

Even when your bosoms sag down to the floor.

Every Monday, he tries out a few and then he chooses one

Every stockholder, large and small,

Every story with sensitivity and empathy...

Every time I would tell her I had a tummy ache,

Everybody drive home safe.

Everybody made a compromise,

Everything's fine here. Take that with you.

Except these crazy eyes.

Excuse me, Reverend, that was a grand slam.

Excuse me, sir.

Excuse me. Is Mr. Deeds around?

Family, safe, good.

Famous, rich, powerful.

Fifi, get over here right now.

Fifty years have passed by with laughter and tears.

Finally time for this poor schlub

Finally time for this poor schlub.

Find out what I'm supposed to be doing today.

For a little while, I was a big part of this company.

For even thinking about doing this.

For goodness sake, let's eat some cake.

For ladies in distress, as it were.

For the moment, you are the largest stockholder,

For The New Yorker.

French fries and Oreos. You know me all too well, Deeds.

From Winchestertonfieldville, Iowa.

Gave me goose bumps.

Get into my Mercedes, drive to my Fifth Avenue apartment,

Get it out of him!

Get your hands off me! I'm Chuck Cedar!

Getting a substantial premium for our shares.

Give me an hour to pack, okay?

Give us a card!

Giving birth to a son.

Go ahead, give it a whack.

Go ahead, jump on it.

Go ahead. Nothing.

Go away! No! I can't leave without me kitties.

Go back to New Hampshire, and enjoy being rich.

Go make yourself at home.

God, how can we do this to such a sweet guy?

God, that was good stuff. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Gonna miss you, Babe. Something fierce.

Good idea. School is for fools. Look at me!

Good kick, honey. Good kick.

Good luck. See you at the office.

Good parking job, buddy.

Good throw, Deeds!

Good to meet you guys. Thank you.

Gosh, I hope that mugger got home okay.

Got to ask you, though, if it hits you, is it my point or yours?

Great. Well, we can't go out drinking

Guam's paying off at 1,000 to 1.

Hallmark said it showed some potential, which is pretty cool.

Hang in there. Hang in there, buddy!

Happy to do it, Deeds.

Hard to breathe, feels like floating.

Hard to breathe, feels like floating.

Has a say in the operation of this company.

He adored Hawaiian Punch.

He came and he scooped me up,

He can bullshit everybody else,

He doesn't deserve this.

He doesn't deserve you.

He gave away something that wasn't his.

He gave me $40 billion, though.

He had a water fountain in his room. I love it.

He is our best player.

He lives at a pizzeria?

He lives upstairs. He owns it.

He must have monkey blood in him or something.

He needs to know how bad I feel.

He saved that woman and her seven cats.

He says he's from the Mandrake Falls Fire Department.

He thinks it's you! He thinks it's you!

He turned his sights on Miss Keeling herself.

He was a pretty interesting man.

He writes greeting cards.

He wrote that he had the only family

He'll probably punch you in the face.

He's a goodhearted guy who we think is a weirdo

He's always wearing his hat and doing his thing.

He's gone away, too soon, it seems,

He's gonna die!

He's just gotta watch his language in front of the ladies.

He's not a dipshit.

He's right. I would've beat my greedy ass red.

He's still pretty frozen.

He's trying to kill me.

Headed for Mandrake Falls. Where?

Hello, everybody. I'm Deeds.

Hello, folks at home.

Hello, folks at home.

Hello. Miss Dawson, nice to meet you.

Help, I'm being mugged! All right! Come on!

Help! Help! I'm being mugged!

Help. What are you talking about?

Here are some aspirins, Mr. Deeds.

Here comes the black foot.

Here I am, 100 yards from the top of Mount Everest.

Here I go, here I go.

Here in New York tomorrow afternoon.

Here we go! Whoo!

Here's to a big night on the town.

Heroic is nice.

Hey, buddy, how you doing? You want to give it a shot?

Hey, Deeds. How you doing, pal?

Hey, get that fireplace poker right there

Hey, handshakes are for strangers.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Hey, I saw what you did to those guys

Hey, I'll give you a hint.

Hey, man! What's up?

Hey, nice to meet you. I'm Deeds.

Hey, Sully, who's that guy up there? I don't know.

Hey, wait a minute. I'm a Blake employee.

Hey, we're gonna wire your apartment

Hey, who are your friends?

Hi, Deeds? It's Pam. Pam Dawson.

Hi, Mrs. Finch and Atticus.

Hi, my name is Deeds.

His funeral's today?

His latest victim, Coretta Keeling,

His voting rights and left the city.

Holy cannoli, you're John McEnroe!

Holy shit, it's a cat!

Holy shit! Let's get cracking.

Holy shit! This sucks.

How about $1 billion?

How can I thank you?

How come you...

How did I get in these pajamas?

How do you think I did at the funeral today?

How the hell does he climb like that?

How wonderful! I thought you died.

How would you like to do something with me tonight?

How would you like to go see the sights now, Miss Dawson?

How you doing there, Mr. Ward?

How'd they get that footage?

How'd you know that?

How're you flat broke?

How's that Frosty treating you, Cecil?

How's your wife? She's fine.

Huh. That explains a lot.

I actually was thinking about maybe sticking around here

I actually, I thought I would say something.

I always thought I'd meet a girl, kind of, the same way.

I always wanted to do that.

I am a volcano of lust.

I am assisting you with your sock change.

I am Emilio, sir. I am your servant.

I am very, very sneaky, sir.

I apologize for the language.

I call this 50th Anniversary Card.

I came here to try to explain.

I can get this moron to do the same.

I can't believe it!

I can't believe they dragged her in this. 28 year old school nurse

I can't stop thinking about you.

I didn't realize I'd be following

I don't belong here.

I don't drink very often.

I don't even remember taking her home. Is she okay?

I don't got to sell my shares right away,

I don't know about that, Mr. French.

I don't know about that.

I don't know who licked the red off your lollipop today, son,

I don't like licorice or my ankles.

I don't like them.

I don't think so. I haven't done anything stupid all day.

I don't think that poor boy ever had a date.

I don't want that money. Just give it to a charity.

I fear you're underestimating the sneakiness, sir.

I feel like he did it really streaky.

I fell out of Boo Radley's apple tree,

I got a statement.

I got this back for you, though.

I got to get back on duty.

I got you. I got you.

I got your pizza for you, just the way you like it.

I gotta go. Freaking barber!

I grew up in Syosset, Long Island.

I had such a wonderful time.

I hail from Spain, sir.

I have brown eyes

I have here the Blake Media ledger

I have here the diary of Preston Blake.

I have lawyers looking through birth records

I have much work to do.

I have to find him,

I hope sometime to see your hometown.

I just need to perhaps walk it off or...

I just want to thank you for teaching my boy a lesson.

I just wanted to see if there's anything I should be doing today.

I just watch 'cause I suspect that anchorman of being an evil leprechaun.

I kind of hope he does.

I kind of own this place, right?

I kind of promised Miss Dawson I'd take her out sightseeing.

I know another guy named Greg. You want me to call him up?

I know it's gross, but grab it.

I know who you are.

I know you're starting to like it, aren't you?

I know, I know. Come here.

I learned much from him.

I like feet. I do not know why.

I like that beard. Abe Lincoln style. Have a seat, boys.

I like that. I'll think of something good, okay?

I love Bruce Springsteen, Almond ROCA,

I love New York!

I love the Beach Boys.

I love you completely, with all my soul.

I love you, Mom,

I made a card for you. It's kind of dumb.

I may seem funny to you,

I mean, he's been his closest confidant for more than 20 years.

I mean, I only got three hours of sleep last night.

I mean, look at him.

I mean, that part with soaring with the eagles

I mean, the Dolphins are overrated,

I missed my mother.

I must insist on absolute secrecy regarding this discussion

I need this story. I'm flat broke,

I never worked on anything harder, though,

I now control 49% of this company.

I only got one for you guys this week,

I operate a pornographic website.

I own a chain of slaughterhouses.

I promise to love you for 50 years more,

I read it in his diary.

I read the Mandrake Falls Gazette

I really like you a lot.

I really love you.

I remember walking down to the corner drugstore

I saved his life.

I saw a couple over there. It's their anniversary.

I saw your face, you were like...

I see that. My name's Deeds.

I see why you brought me here.

I served on the board of the Guggenheim with him.

I sing at the Metropolitan Opera,

I slept in Tom and Roseanne's dumpster for two days

I still feel bad.

I stole it and read it. Please don't be mad at me.

I suppose I could check out the sights.

I swear to God, I think she's the one.

I swear to God, I'm not trying to do that.

I think I can really do some good if I just got another chance.

I think I drank all the alcohol in Manhattan last night.

I think I found Fifi.

I think I got strep throat.

I think I just shat myself.

I think I remember you.

I think I snapped my uncle's hand off

I think the Pats could take the conference this year.

I think you and I could help each other out, Mr. McGrath.

I thought we were watching Scooby Doo.

I thought you were sick today.

I thought you'd done this before.

I told you that's a surprise.

I took the liberty of sending her off in the company limousine.

I tried to make my own at home,

I used to go around interviewing everyone,

I want a raise, Mac.

I want more money, or y'all can just suck my...

I want to cut you into eight slices of bitcheroni.

I wanted to be a florist.

I wanted to be a good reporter.

I wanted to be a magician.

I wanted to be a man.

I wanted to be a news reporter.

I wanted to be a ping pong champion.

I wanted to be the guy everybody called on if they were in trouble.

I wanted to help people,

I was a rodeo clown for six years.

I was dreaming about Frosties all last night. You?

I was having an asthma attack. I couldn't find my puffer.

I was Preston Blake's great nephew.

I was reading my great uncle's journal on my way over to you.

I was talking to that squirrel over there.

I was telling you about.

I was thinking of going down to that Inside Access place

I was very gentle, sir.

I was wicked rich and powerful.

I wasn't talking to you, Deeds.

I watch the stock market channel all the time.

I will do good things, good things for everyone.

I woke up and you were standing over my bed, breathing heavily.

I won't be able to see her.

I would call Dr. Pepper.

I would do anything,

I would like to read a passage from Mr. Blake's diary

I would really rather not, sir.

I would've thrown myself off the merry go round.

I would've thrown myself off the merry go round.

I would've tied myself naked to a chair

I wrote a poem for him on my way over here, in my head.

I'd imagine he'd be very spooky.

I'd love to do something with you.

I'd probably knock your heads in.

I'll be all right. I just feel a little dizzy and violated.

I'll be up there in a jiff, buddy.

I'll bring the beers, I'll bring the beers.

I'll give you one.

I'll go get my suit on.

I'll keep an eye on the company for you, buddy. Love you.

I'll remind Kevin where he comes from.

I'll take that.

I'll take you straight to him.

I'll tell you everything I know over lunch tomorrow

I'll tell you where he is.

I'm a junior producer at Inside Access.

I'm a school nurse.

I'm Deeds, by the way.

I'm Deeds, by the way.

I'm doing a one nighter for biting Ed the mailman.

I'm glad that guy was around.

I'm going on the air in two hours' time.

I'm gonna come over there and I'm gonna choke you to death.

I'm gonna get you!

I'm gonna get you.

I'm happy for you. I am.

I'm heading down now, sir. I advise you to do the same.

I'm in control!

I'm in love with him.

I'm just kidding you, pal.

I'm just kidding you. I got him big time, man.

I'm nailed to the ground here.

I'm not from here. I'm just visiting.

I'm really sorry.

I'm Reuben, sir.

I'm so cold. Please!

I'm so excited.

I'm so happy I got the Big Bacon Classic.

I'm so happy you called. I'm wicked sorry about last night.

I'm sorry, all I heard was,

I'm sorry, Deeds.

I'm sorry. Chuck, Cecil,

I'm still very worried about this.

I'm sure I'll be all right.

I'm sure it's been an exhausting day.

I'm that excited!

I'm the biggest sucker in the world, fellows.

I've been here.

I've been trying to get my stuff published for years,

I've got too much doo doo in my underpants.

I've never been to New York before.

I've never heard of him.

If she just gives me a sign, an opening.

If you didn't play well,

In all 50 states, Puerto Rico, and Guam.

In fact, the two are one and the same.

In fact, we have a little pool going.

In the company's stock valued at $40 billion?

Including his longtime barber

International House Pancake.

Into a global media empire.

Is pretty darned psyched about it.

Is something the matter, sir?

Is that right? What part?

Is that who I think it is? Who?

Is this a joke to you?

Isn't that sick?

It appears this divestiture has been defeated.

It has its ups and downs.

It is an unspeakable outrage,

It is my money!

It looked to me like he was a happy guy. Am I right?

It looks like the Monopoly guy over there

It looks like you won't have to be delivering pizzas anymore, Deeds.

It says, It's hard to soar with the eagles

It was so great seeing everybody again.

It'll be all over the news in an hour.

It'll take us a couple days to get the papers

It's a letter from Hallmark.

It's a magazine. Uh huh.

It's all right. I told him he could have that.

It's an honor to work with New York's bravest guys.

It's beautiful.

It's gonna be fun. Just grab it.

It's nice of you to have invited me

It's nice to see you, too, sir.

It's some little hick ass town in New Hampshire.

Jake, the gas station attendant,

January 23, 1958.

Jeez, I hope they don't play the Pats in the playoffs,

Jeezum crow, how'd you get down here so fast?

Just a little town nobody's ever heard of.

Just call me Deeds, pal.

Just Deeds. Why is that, though?

Just don't let anyone hurt you anymore, okay?

Just for a few days.

Just kidding, pal.

Just tell me where Deeds is.

Just to enjoy the pleasure of your company.

Just to make a quick buck? Come on.

Keep an eye on him, Emilio. Or it's your ass.

Keep it coming!

Keep it in your pants, Anderson.

Ken and I kind of, you know... We're taking a break.

Kevin led the League in touchdown passes.

Knock yourself out.

Ladies and gentlemen, the bottom line is that this divestiture

Ladies! The top one's yours.

Later. I will be with you shortly, sir.

Let me help you up.

Let me show you a New York most people will never see.

Let's do it, then.

Let's go, Cedar. Put some steam on it, kid.

Let's see what kind of lame show they put on

Like how to tweeze your eyebrows, for instance.

Listen, Deeds, I got some good news.

Listen, fellows, I want more money,

Longfellow Deeds is at it again.

Longfellow Deeds, has apparently given up

Longfellow Deeds, Mandrake Falls volunteer fire chief.

Longfellow Deeds?

Longfellow Deeds.

Longfellow Deeds.

Look at Deedsy hanging out with McEnroe! That's awesome!

Look, Martha, it's Quasimodo, all growed up.

Look, the sights are great. I've seen the sights. I love the sights.

Lucy, bring me the overnights.

Ma'am, you were just the victim of a New York City mugger.

Ma'am! Oh, Lord, it's hot in here.

Made eye contact with him.

Make the stinky go away.

Mandrake Falls, New Hampshire.

Marty, molest me! You got it!

Marty, you got to be a pal.

May equal instability in the company.

May I help you?

Maybe it's Longfellow.

Maybe my poems aren't that great,

Maybe someday this will be my new hometown.

Maybe. But I don't know.

Miss Bennett, I wasn't aware that you were a stockholder.

Miss Dawson, my tummy hurts.

Mom, you are the one who brought me to Planet Earth.

More importantly, I know that I messed up real bad.

Mouth is dry, hands are shaking.

Mouth is dry, hands are shaking.

Move it, lady. I don't give a damn about no meeting.

Mr. Cedar, I am sorry... Hey!

Mr. Deeds, this is Kevin Ward, the quarterback you punched.

Mr. Deeds. Yeah.

Mr. Simonds would like to invite you to join his party.

Mr. Wetherley, how you doing, pal?

Murph, put on an apron and give me a hand.

My bad. My bad.

My daddy built this house

My father saved my mother.

My friend got me a mug for my birthday.

My God, it's all green.

My heart is yours for the taking.

My heart is yours for the taking.

My journey through life has just begun.

My losing streak with Hallmark.

My name is Babe Bennett.

My name is Deeds.

My name's Pam. Pam Dawson.

My parents hated my brother.

My school nurse was so mean.

My source at Blake says the company helicopter

Nice doing business with you, fellows.

Nice meeting you all.

Nice meeting you, Deeds.

Nice meeting you. Thanks for the apartment.

No, he deserves to get his throat cut,

No, I love it, but you should let me go undercover. This could get dangerous.

No, I'll leave it here. That's all right.

No, I'm sorry. He's out making deliveries.

No, Johnny McEnroe said it was wicked easy.

No, no. I agree. It's troubling.

No, sir. You're a disgrace.

No! She actually became a school nurse.

No. He said he likes ladies in distress,

No. That was a lie, pal.

Nope, that's it.

Not a problem, sir. He's a good kid.

Not even rum raisin ice cream.

Not fired. But tomorrow morning, you let me change your socks.

Not men who wear too much cologne.

Not right. It's not right.

Not so fast, Chuck.

Not unless you have a sick kid.

Nothing. Do you have anything?

Now controls the fate of this company.

Now you're a very rich man.

Now, being rich and powerful isn't a bad thing.

Now, Brother Preston is soaring with eagles high above.

Now, he hasn't sold any yet, but he will.

Now, why am I inheriting this money?

Oh, God, your foot. It's disgusting!

Oh, God. Help! Yeah. Come on. Give it to me.

Oh, my God, there it is.

Oh, my gosh! Which one?

Oh, no. They're gonna know my name's Longfellow.

Oh, no. Well, if there's anything I can do...

Oh, snap. I got you, kitty.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That was awesome! How's he do it?

Oh! All you guys, I noticed you were French.

Oh! I forgot I was faking sick today.

Oh! I thought you held your liquor very well.

Oh! Miss Dawson, this is John McEnroe.

Oh! My children!

Oh! Thank you, Deeds. Of course.

Oh! That's great. Yeah.

Oh! That's sweet.

Oh! There he is.

Oh! Well, let me get you there a little quicker.

Oh! Yes. Yes. Very much so.

Oh! You don't want reporters crawling

Oh! You, sir. You are definitely fired.

Oh. He truly was.

Oh. He's choking. We should go.

Oh. That's okay. I was brought up never to drink alcohol.

Oh. Yes. I just need to powder my nose.

Oh. You got it.

Okay, buddy. Hey, you know what?

Okay, could you lean forward?

Okay, everybody, it's show time.

Okay, give it to those guys.

Okay, it was a huge hump,

Okay, let's do this together.

Okay, okay, okay.

Okay, this is getting weird. You can stand up now.

Okay. I'll be right with you guys.

Okay. In the back. Come on.

Okay. Nice seeing you.

Okay. Well, we're going to get going.

Okay. What's up, buddy?

Okay. Why don't you just lay back and relax?

Okay. You kind of went the other way on that one, didn't you?

On my way to the big city for a business trip,

On the block with a radio,

On the night of the 12th,

On tomorrow's Inside Access. Until then, I'm Mac McGrath.

One day, honey, you're gonna grow up,

One more thing.

One more to go.

Oota tells me the storm's getting worse.

Or I ain't even gonna play another down.

Or I'll have to kill myself.

Or it's your ass.

Or nobody's gonna want to work with you.

Or should I just say, Meow?

Our jackass of the week.

Peanut butter and gumballs. Nice combo.

People tell everything to their barbers, Mac.

People, people! Please!

Pipe down, George.

Please don't break up my uncle's company.

Please let me touch your feet.

Please, just tell us where Deeds lives.

Please. Please jump on my foot.

Pleasure to meet you, Cecil.

Plunged this morning on the news of Blake's death,

Plus the five million votes I control as proxy for the foreign investors.

Plus, I met this girl, Cedar.

Plus, it was my uncle's favorite game, right?

Preston Blake, dead at 82. More after this.

Preston Blake's great legacy gone to the highest bidder.

Preston Blake's nephew, the $40 billion man.

Pretty messed up, huh?

Really? He had nobody else?

Really? I didn't know he kept a diary.

Really? I'm not sure what that is,

Really? So he moved out?

Really? We don't get any famous people in Mandrake Falls.

Recognize this little girl?

Remember we went to the restaurant that first night,

Remember, I'm Pam Dawson, virgin school nurse

Rich playboys like himself get to laugh at it.

Right on, buddy. Nice seeing you.

Rub and tub didn't work.

Sadly, nine months later, she died,

Save him, please!

Security, stop that guy!

See you at the staff meeting on Monday.

See you later, everybody!

See you tonight.

Servant? I don't want a servant,

Shall I call your car, Mr. Cedar, to take you to the funeral?

She gonna like that, Mr. Deeds.

She had a damn beach ball on her back.

She was a lady in distress and I helped her.

She was figure skating and fell through the ice.

She'd send me back to my class and say, Stop whining.

She's nice. A small town kid, like me.

Should I read it?

Shouldn't you take your age into consideration, sir?

Shut the hell up, rich boy!

Sign in book from April, 1957.

Since Jimmy McNally went to Disney World.

Sneaky sneaky, sir. Right this way.

So bring your rich butt back here, and buy us all a shot!

So can I sign with another team?

So could you take that out of my foot?

So don't forget to clean the highchairs, all right?

So don't give up hope. You'll be a reporter someday.

So don't laugh at me.

So full of love, my heart's exploding.

So full of love, my heart's exploding.

So hang in there.

So how's it going? You at work?

So how's the elevator business treating you, Reuben?

So I drew you a plate.

So I started working on it, and here's what I got so far.

So I'll just come out with it.

So many memories.

So once you sign them, we'll get our stock,

So this is where my uncle lived?

So what are you doing in New York?

So what brings you to the big city?

So which way should I vote my 51%?

So you could, like, jump on it and it wouldn't hurt me.

So you run this pizza place and you have your poetry.

So you're gonna have to persuade

So, on behalf of the opera...

Some bullspit like that.

Some genetic lottery winner

Somebody help me!

Something like that.

Sorry about that, Pam. I hope I didn't embarrass you.

Sorry about that! I'll keep this sucker closed.

Sounds like fun!

Sources indicate that virtually

Stand back, kids.

Step right in, fellows.

Still here, Deeds.

Stop! Stop right there.

Stopped by our gas station one time,

Sweet? Sweet? Look at me!

Take care, Father. You're gonna see him again tonight?

Take him to the hospital! Smack it out of him!

Terrific. Say hi for me. I will.

Testing, testing.

Thank you for such a great day.

Thank you so much.

Thank you, Mr. Deeds.

Thank you, my brother.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you, thank you.

Thanks a lot. I'm so nervous.

Thanks for showing me your town.

Thanks for stopping, buddy. These are unbelievable.

Thanks for the bikes.

Thanks for the lift, Deeds.

Thanks for the New York City tour, Tommy.

Thanks, anyway. I'll be all right on my own.

Thanks, buddy. Sure.

Thanks. You don't got to do that. All right. Thank you.

That can't wait to end this silly vacation

That concludes today's service.

That Emilio Lopez is the majority stockholder to Blake Media.

That got you right in the throat, huh?

That is my birthday.

That is my money!

That is my money?

That is my mother.

That makes people happy also, I guess.

That okay with you, Miss Dawson?

That running it is literally a 24 hour a day job.

That sounds like fun,

That sounds wonderful.

That third guy's our heir. Nice work, Marty.

That was a great time.

That was amazing.

That was awesome!

That was freaky.

That was funny.

That was nice. Good job.

That was very touching, Deeds.

That would be nice.

That would explain a lot.

That you would do absolutely anything

That'd be nice. Hey, Mandrake Falls!

That's an awfully nice way to start spending your money.

That's an echo, sir.

That's awesome. How's he doing?

That's Hawaiian Punch.

That's Longfellow Deeds with Pam Dawson.

That's not what I shot.

That's okay, Chuck. I got this one.

That's one more! Duh!

That's priceless.

That's right, Anderson.

That's terrific, pal.

That's terrific.

That's the best you could get me, huh?

That's too bad.

That's unbelievable.

That's when I get off work.

That's why I got this for you.

That's wonderful for you.

That's your house, isn't it?

That's your money!

The ayes have it.

The Biggie Fries are making a comeback.

The company bylaws require me to open the floor

The company bylaws require me to open the floor

The company chopper will take you home.

The filthy spy. Come on, let's go.

The girl I'm thinking of looked like

The guy was trying to cast a spell on me,

The hideousness of that foot will haunt my dreams forever.

The officers of the company, like me, run the show.

The only man who could stand up

The opposite of bonjour to you.

The other 364 days of the year,

The parent company of this network,

The park is beautiful.

The regular delivery guy called in sick.

The rhyme master Reverend Sharpton.

The shocking announcement from Chuck Cedar today

The stock of Blake Media,

The truth was a great story.

The United n**** College Fund?

Then another compromise, and now,

Then it's actually a 21 hour a day job, huh?

Then yes, that is Deeds' first name.

There are ladies present.

There it is. Okay.

There was only one woman working on Preston Blake's floor.

There, once again, the sad footage we've been watching all day.

There's a couple things you're not aware of.

There's a lot I can do to stop you.

There's a lot more.

There's a poem inside for you.

There's no way you're a school nurse.

There's still hope for the kids inside of all of us.

There's the chicken and the cheese

These numbers mean nothing to me.

They made me look like a fool, Jan.

They make your head seem smaller.

They remind you of Winchestertonfieldville at all?

They were supposed to arrive at Blake Media at 5:00.

They would kick our asses all over the place,

They're actually going to buy one of my cards.

They're all I got.

This company is a player on so many levels

This guy could make a fortune writing greeting cards.

This guy's perfect for us.

This is a Mother's Day card I've been working on.

This is awesome.

This is Chuck and Cecil, they're from New York.

This is Jane, Kitty, and Sue.

This is not the kind of attention we need right now.

This is one of the best dates I've ever been on.

This is our fireplace

This is, like, $20,000.

This room's an echo room, too.

This thing's cool. Hey.

This town can be brutal.

This was no slight hump.

This way, Mr. Deeds. Thank you very much.

Those papers will be ready to sign tomorrow.

Till I've officially acquired Mr. Blake's shares.

To dine with you this evening.

To goof on me, huh?

To know how it feels to fall in lub

To know how it feels to fall in lub.

To Miss Consuela Lopez.

To Mr. Cedar and save the company,

To my sweetheart,

To one of our many fine gentlemen's clubs.

To shareholders for statements

To shareholders for statements

Tomorrow is Kids Eat For Free Day,

Too bad for you, when I was a kid,

Took off from there this afternoon with two male passengers aboard

Truth be told, I wanted to be a veterinarian.

Um... Is Mrs. Deeds around?

Unfortunately, since you sold me your 300 million shares,

Unless I'm forgetting something.

Until you get off your fat, rich asses

Usually when you get blackout drunk, you don't dream.

Very well, Deeds. Just going to the pharmacy.

Very, very bad.

Want me to wipe the leaves on your ficus tree, Mr. Blake?

Want me to wipe the leaves on your ficus tree, Preston?

Want to sit down?

Was he being sweet when he gave me the most savage beating of my life?

Was that awesome?

Watch out, Johnny!

Way to go, Emilio!

We did it, man! Johnny McEnroe!

We feel it's good to see the body for the grieving process, so...

We had this big Victorian. Right off Main Street.

We have to meet him. Dave?

We hug around here, buddy.

We must abandon our ascent

We never hung out and that makes me sad.

We should be getting that information via fax any minute now.

We spoke of life, love, art, wine, business.

We tried that once, remember?

We wanted to come by and wish you the best on your big night.

We'll discuss that with people close to Preston Blake,

We're drawing up some papers that you'll need to sign.

We're going to leave now.

We're not in for any more nasty surprises, are we?

Welcome to Inside Access. I'm Mac McGrath.

Well, he deserves it with those James Bond moves he just pulled.

Well, he'll be back before lunch is out. Today's Card Day.

Well, he's not gonna be pissed

Well, I don't know Deeds' first name. Maybe it's Greg.

Well, I said it every day.

Well, I think we've got everything under control.

Well, I'm kind of tired. I'd like to go to sleep if I could.

Well, I'm kind of tired. I'd like to go to sleep if I could.

Well, if the Deeds you're referring to is Longfellow Deeds,

Well, it was quite a night for Longfellow Deeds.

Well, it's good to be home. I know that much.

Well, jeez, I don't want to meet a girl just because I'm wicked rich.

Well, little Billy Barty's here.

Well, Mom's maiden name was Blake.

Well, sure you can. The good news is the papers are ready.

Well, that was a very nice hug, Deeds.

Well, that's nice,

Well, that's nice, but let's see how you stick to your guns

Well, then I'll just keep a lookout

Well, there's got to be something.

Well, unfortunately for you,

Well, we're gonna have to let you go then.

Well, you do make a difference in the world every day.

Well, you fooled me.

Well, you sound like you got your hands full,

Well, your daddy is a liar.

Wham bam Dawson. AKA Little Miss Slut Slut.

What a wisenheimer!

What about you, sir? Did you want to be a fireman?

What are you doing down there?

What are you gonna do with your $20,000?

What are you gonna do with your $20,000?

What are you in for?

What are you talking about?

What did you blow it on?

What did you guys talk about?

What do you got in that pipe, hashish? You're paranoid.

What do you mean?

What else you got?

What happens when a journalist falls in love with an idiot?

What if he won't sell us his shares?

What is this? My great uncle's personal journal.

What kind of papers?

What the hell? Who edited that?

What's a good charity?

What's that got to do with delivering pizzas?

What's that, Deedsy?

What's the matter?

What's the problem with your contract?

What's up, New York?

What's up, New York?

What's up? What's up? Welcome to town.

What's your problem, pal?

When I crack this Blake story.

When I started out,

When I was in fifth grade, I got a crush on Walter Cronkite.

When I was putting him back in the casket.

When Mr. Blake died, he left an enormous fortune.

When she was a little girl.

When they don't have Deeds to pick on.

When you're surrounded by turkeys.

Where are me babies? Babies, where are you?

Where are you taking me?

Where do you got the camera hidden, in the woods?

Where do you hail from, Deeds?

Where my dad would build fires out of wood.

Where the hell's Babe?

Where to begin?

Where were you kicking? I ain't got no balls, dummy!

Where'd you hear that?

Where's he going?

Which I never got a chance to properly thank you for...

Which is quite a feat nowadays.

While the rest of us obey the law,

Who are your friends, Deeds?

Who cares about all the financial mumbo jumbo?

Who recently moved to New York City from Winchestertonfieldville, Iowa.

Who was single and had no children, did not leave a will.

Who was this mystery woman?

Who were making fun of you. Nice work.

Who would think with his wallet instead of his heart?

Who's Mr. French?

Whoa, that sucks.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy with the language, buddy.

Whoa! I never heard you curse before.

Whoa. Whoa! Whoa!

Whoo! Feeling crazy!

Whose only crime was loving her cats too much.

Why don't you believe me?

Why don't you get out and enjoy the city?

Will be stripped down and sold off piece by piece.

Will result in every shareholder,

Winchestertonfieldville.

With essays, witty cartoons.

With his bare hands six years ago.

With state of the art surveillance video.

With three male passengers.

With your beautiful words and your beautiful spirit.

Without you I'm nothing, a butterless roll.

Would be an insult to a great man.

Would you hold this for a second?

Would you mind sitting down for a second?

Wouldn't you know it?

Wow. I'm gonna be the first guy to leave here

Wow. I'm gonna be the first guy to leave here

Wow. Is that Deeds' first name?

Yeah, and it's not all fun and games.

Yeah, I've heard that before.

Yeah, take them.

Yeah, you try it.

Yeah, you're fired.

Yeah? You just going to lie there

Yeah. Beers! Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I didn't feel that.

Yeah. I guess I was.

Yeah. I wanted to say that I was thinking it over

Yeah. That's it!

Yep, up here in the nurse's office.

Yes, good friends.

Yes, he's flying way up high

Yes, he's my relative.

Yes, I am. Thanks to you!

Yes, I'm calling at around 4:00.

Yes, sir. For the last 35 years of his astonishing life.

Yes, that was me. I had a slight hump.

Yes, the small town of Winchestertonfieldville, Iowa.

Yes, we remember Preston Blake.

Yes. That's Freddy.

Yes. What should I do about this?

Yet there's a part of me

You are out of here on your fat Puerto Rican ass.

You are the one who made all this possible

You are the one who made lemonade for me

You are the one who suffered through my 14 hour birth.

You can call me Preston.

You can do anything you want,

You can't fire me!

You can't live in a pizzeria.

You climbed mountains and built skysc****rs.

You could be a radio actor or something.

You didn't really fall out of an apple tree, did you?

You don't got to do that. Come on, stand up.

You get me something better and you get it quick.

You go. You have a good time! I'll miss you.

You gonna get mugged in there, too?

You got it, pal.

You got some on your beard. Hmm?

You got to be shitting me.

You got to let me buy you a drink.

You guys football fans?

You guys need anything else here?

You guys played me like a fiddle. Touché!

You had me going there.

You have beautiful ankles.

You know Deeds' girlfriend?

You know what it's like to get riled up,

You know who she is?

You know who's a riot? That Beetle Bailey guy.

You know, I figured if I played well,

You know, I would love to write a piece on you

You know, like a wizard or something.

You know, when I was a kid,

You know, when you asked me to play,

You like that, gentlemen?

You liked it when Emilio would change your socks.

You live here and she used to live here.

You look so hot as a blond.

You made TV shows and put out newspapers.

You make me feel very special, too.

You make me feel very special.

You make more money than anyone here.

You mean like this?

You mean now that my uncle's gone.

You might seem funny to us.

You must be Jan. My name is...

You must share one with us.

You need to use our bathroom, come back and use it, okay?

You own the Jets, Deeds.

You really want to throw all this away for a dipshit like that?

You related to Bill Dawson?

You said that you didn't know who I was.

You see, I never knew my father.

You see, technically, you've inherited 300 million shares of Blake Media, Inc.

You should be thanking my great uncle.

You shouldn't be thanking me, though.

You sounded so sick on the phone.

You spoke beautifully, sir.

You think she's gonna like this?

You told me every stockholder has a say in this company.

You two tricked me into coming here.

You used foul language in front of a lady?

You went down like a sack of potatoes,

You were mugging me!

You were wicked good at doing stocks.

You're a good man.

You're about to put 50,000 people out of work

You're better than that, Deedsy.

You're gonna change my socks for me?

You're gonna have to step it up a notch, shorty.

You're good at this.

You're good. Do that sick voice again.

You're hurting me!

You're kidding me. I got an uncle?

You're Mr. Blake's closest living relative.

You're my hero, Nurse Dawson.

You're not a cop.

You're not getting anywhere near that boy.

You're now the most eligible bachelor in New York.

You're safe there.

You're sick! You're sick! Why would you do that to me?

You're the nurse. Come on, help him.

You're watching the Blake Broadcasting Network.

You're welcome, Deeds.

You're welcome.

You've got to be ruthless.

You've got two minutes, Deeds, but just remember,

You've just bought 2,000 radio stations.

Your beard is troubling.

Your first cut was great,

Your great uncle did not let me change his socks for him, either.

Your great uncle's funeral.

Your hair is very blond and pretty.

Your pipe is troubling.

Your yellow teeth are really troubling.

Yours. Well, I'm winning then, I guess.

Yummy! Yummy! So, Deeds, what's new?

305 million times.

A disc jockey? Yeah.

Are we clear? Clear!

Card Day? Deeds writes greeting cards.

Come on. All right. All right,

Doesn't seem fair to me. Deeds.

Good night, everyone. Good night, Mr. Deeds.

Hi, mailman. Morning.

How many do you got? Seven.

I did? Oh, yeah.

I don't mind. Okay.

I love it. Here comes two!

Let's get going. To the fire?

Me, sir? It's a lot of fun.

Mr. Deeds? Just Deeds.

Murph! Yeah, Deeds?

Nothing. Really?

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Please. Put me down! You got it!

Serious. Thank you, sir.

Sure. Thank you. Hello.

Thank you. My pleasure.

That okay with you, Chuck? You'll be safe there.

We should help. We should?

Well, that's nice. Oh, yeah!

Who else? I wanted to be a senator.

Will do, Deeds. All right.

You want some Cocoa Pebbles? No, thanks.

...stupid and drunk.

...while maintaining an appropriate journalistic distance.

'cause I got our company in trouble.

'cause that wouldn't be good manners.

♪ Genius, genius, genius ♪

♪ Thank you ♪

$40 billion. He left it all to you, Deeds.

Mr. Deeds (2002)
"Mr. Deeds" is a heartwarming comedy film released in 2002. It tells the story of small-town guy Longfellow Deeds, portrayed by Adam Sandler, who unexpectedly inherits a vast fortune from a deceased relative. As Deeds navigates his new life as a billionaire, he becomes entangled in a web of greed and deceit. The film features a talented cast including Winona Ryder, Steve Buscemi, and John Turturro. If you're in the mood for a light-hearted laugh, you can easily find and enjoy this movie. Play and download the sounds of "Mr. Deeds" here.
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