Mr. Deeds (2002) Soundboard Edit

A company in tatters.

All I'm saying is, when you were kids,

All right.

All the media frenzy will die down in a couple weeks,

And I'll bring the Krispy Kremes!

And if it wasn't for Miss Dawson being here,

And Mac is going to fire me

And Miss Bennett with her beautiful research

And proceed down the mountain immediately.

And the Jets are choke artists

And this was my brother's room.

And while we're doing that,

Anyway, I gotta talk to Cedar and Anderson,

Anyways, it's the best I can do.

Are likely to lose their jobs.

Are you okay?

As I suspected, he was a coward and a weakling

As long as your club promoter boyfriend

As soon as that moron goes back to Cowpie Falls,

At the annual stockholders' meeting

At the lake, when you saved my life,

Babe Bennett falls in love.

Babe, I'm not putting this guy on the air.

Bullshit?

But before we vote,

But good luck with it

But here we go anyways

But it is an honor to meet a real writer such as yourself, George

But what you said was better.

But when I die, Uncle Preston, you'd better say, 'Cheers! '

Bye, Jan. Smell you later, Murph.

Can you believe Deeds bought us all these?

Chuck Cedar, CEO.

Come here. Come here.

Come on, don't be shy.

Come on, you can do it louder than that

Come to Mama.

Come up here.

Coming at you, boys.

Confirmed that Blake Media

Could you? Sure. Sure

Couldn't save Preston Blake from becoming a human Popsicle.

Dancing around like the Keebler Elf

Deeds, we need you to come back to New York with us.

Deeds!

Deeds! Deeds!

Deeds. Buddy Ward here, Kevin's daddy

Did we find this heir yet?

Fifi, where are you?

Fire excites me.

From the disease of the lepers,

Get right back in the car.

Give them this. Don't say it's from us, though

Go down! Go down!

Good for you, Mac. But I'm still telling him.

Gosh, I never even met the guy.

Got your pocketbook. Get a job, pal

Has Longfellow Deeds been locked up? Of course not.

He was heroic!

He's gonna get 100 grand for that picture.

Help! Oh, God!

Hey, buddy, this will pay for everything I damaged. Sorry about that

Hey, Deeds. Read a card already.

Hey, how you guys doing?

Hey, what the hell are you doing in my chair?

Hidden cameras on, ready to go. Molest me

How would you like to maybe go out

How you doing?

I bet if we ran into the sixth grade versions of ourselves right now,

I bet you miss him, too

I bought one share of Blake Media this morning.

I can't run the company, I can't even run my own damn life.

I did it for good reasons, I promise.

I do?

I do. He was like a parent to me.

I don't even know who you are.

I don't know. Maybe he was just waving.

I feel like an idiot.

I figured I could learn, you know, like this tennis thing.

I found out I have an uncle, but he died.

I got it! I got it!

I got to try this

I got wicked bad frostbite when I was in the Scouts. Check it out

I like you, too.

I mean, until I sign those papers,

I never asked anybody to marry me before.

I passed for 3,500 yards last season,

I think so.

I wanted to help sick animals.

I'd like to stay

I'd renegotiate and get more money

I'll have a lot more in a few hours.

I'll tell you that much. Come on

I'm from a little town like that.

I'm getting a call on the other line.

I'm of Swedish ancestry

I'm so proud of you.

I'm sure you guys already knew that

I've gotten this far in business by following my heart.

If I got Preston Blake to trust me with his company,

If that's acceptable to you, then as far as I'm concerned

If you really want to.

It was great.

It's 7:30, time for Inside Access.

It's an honor to come to the greatest city in the world!

It's my pleasure.

It's okay. He's a new member.

It's wicked nice of you guys to invite us over here.

JD will tell you where they are.

Jeezum crow, a fire!

Just about everyone else to start hating money.

Kitties, come to Mommy. Everything's gonna be all right.

Later on in his life, he'd go to this radio station that he owned

Leaving behind his unfinished dreams

Longfellow Deeds.

Lucky for him, he was dead, sir

Man, this guy is in way over his head

Mr. Deeds, does the name Preston Blake mean anything to you?

My 300 million votes

My grandfather was in ABBA.

My uncle really built an amazing company.

Never ever left Mandrake Falls before, ain't that a pip?

Nice catch, Pam!

Nice to meet you, too

No. Thank you.

Nobody cares!

Now, I know this is supposed to be a closed casket, but where I come from

Oh, I wouldn't say that, Mr. Deeds

Oh!

Oh!

Oh. No, it was a long time ago.

Okay

Okay, but I'm not leaving without me kitties.

Okay, I deserve that.

Okay. Here you go.

Okay. I'd better get up there. Good meeting you, gentlemen

Okay. That sounds terrific

Once you've paid a visit

Only nobody would laugh at you and make you feel stupid,

Ooh!

Ow!

Pam.

People didn't like that. I got beat up a lot.

Please, let me take you to the emergency room.

Pleasure's all mine, Kitty.

Rest in peace, Preston.

Say something to me. Pretend that you're her.

She actually used to live in this house

So have a wicked nice Mother's Day

So you can relax knowing your uncle's company's gonna be in good hands,

So, who inherits Blake's 49% stake

Sorry about that, dude.

Sounds good

Stop it!

Stop! Come back here!

Take it easy.

Tearing apart your uncle's company,

Tell me what you wanted to be.

Tell them it was like a restaurant giveaway, or something like that

That night he lost 200 pounds.

That'd be great. I'll get your coat

That's Frobo. Thank you, darling.

That's okay. I didn't really like that skirt anyway.

The biggest story of the year, and we've got nothing?

The one I wrote for you, do you remember it?

The sale is expected to pass with unanimous consent

The school nurse.

Think these roses might be a little too high.

This is a wicked nice elevator

Time heals all things.

To become rich and powerful.

Today, yes

Very. Provided the information is good,

Wait a minute.

We just need a little bit of time to dot the t's and cross the I's.

We need you to stay away from the press.

We're looking for somebody. Longfellow Deeds.

We're so very close to the top, Mr. Puffy Jacket Man.

Well, he does sound amazing.

Well, in a few moments, I'm gonna put on my Versace overcoat,

Well, unfortunately, I couldn't hold it for too long

What are you talking about, you got to get back on duty?

What do you got?

What happened?

What kind of driving is that?

What was it like growing up there?

What was your house like?

What?

What's The New Yorker?

Whee!

Which, of course, we've had to borrow from various...

Who are you?

Whoa, whoa, whoa

Whoa!

Whoa! Easy, fellows.

Whoo hoo! God, I've got that sucker.

Whoo!

Would you like to go down to your apartment, sir?

Wow

Wow, that's pretty cool of him

Wow! You kind of just snuck up on me there, man

Wow. Look at that thing. Fighter pilot on your left.

Yeah, you're right. I got this down at the costume shop

Yeah.

Yes

Yes. Yes.

You are fired.

You don't think it's too streaky?

You excited about this trip?

You got it.

You got to tap that

You guys want to join us? Make a weird noise

You have no right to speak at this meeting

You missed another staff meeting. Mac's pissed.

You're a disgrace!

You're a nurse?

You're a school nurse.

You're a very important man in this town now, Mr. Deeds

You're fired! You! You!

You're not feeling too good, Billy?

You're practically cousins.

You're too nice to be a school nurse.

Do we have anything smaller? Yes, sir.

Miss Dawson? Mmm hmm

'Cause me and you are hanging at the pearly gates.