Barbershop: The Next Cut (2016) Edit

A father's child is dead.

A intricate part of this damn shop?

A madman walked into a Charleston church and killed nine innocent people.

A pretty girl tries to comfort you in your time of stress

A weak ass man with a spans car and a gaggle of bitches.

A'ight, don't get nothing on you now.

A'ight.

About moving the shop.

About moving the shop.

About what y'all are doing here and everything

Action, LeShawn!

After school every now and then and helping out?

After what we just heard? We gotta send him somewhere!

Ah, man.

Ah, y'all gonna be divorced in a minute.

Ah...

Ain't answered none of my messages

Ain't even got a father to look out for them anyway.

Ain't no going home, ****a.

Ain't no heat in here, man.

Ain't no such thing.

Ain't no way in hell the South Side

Ain't nobody talking about that Catholic school you went to.

Ain't nobody wants to see your butt cheeks hanging out.

Ain't nothing.

All I'm saying is, my parents moved here from India with nothing.

All kind of cucabugs back here. Beebees.

All my customers,

All right, all right, all right. Relax!

All right, already! Leave him alone!

All right, everybody.

All right, man. Oui, oui. I'll see you Monday.

All right, man. Who next?

All right, my man. Thanks for coming.

All right, Soror. Girl, I'll talk to you later.

All right, that's dope, but it's still not a trending topic on Twitter, okay?

All right, then.

All right, there we go.

All right, you got me.

All right! What's cooking? Daddy's home!

All right?

All right.

All right.

All right. And I'm loving those pants.

All right. Baba ghanoush over here lost his damn mind.

All right. Let's see how we can hook you up here.

All right. Okay. All right, okay. Cool.

All right. Ow.

All right. Soul food to save fools' souls.

All right. Thank you!

All that nonsense, South Side, all that stupid shit.

All the hurt.

All the more reason

Alternative documentation,

Always gonna be my guy.

Always talkin' out the sides of their face.

And 19th and 20th.

And 200 years later, Rihanna happened. You're welcome.

And a dick print that you can see from here to the Sears Tower?

And actually pick up the ball.

And agree to a ceasefire.

And all your friends on Friday

And do what you can to love yourself and love one another.

And do you think it'll have any effect on the upcoming council vote?

And even if you were gay...

And family.

And figured out. And...

And first ass whooping from Boobie Monroe.

And for that reason alone is reason to keep up the fight.

And give them a chance to speak.

And got my ass beat by the second robber

And have him come on out and perform.

And have you discussed it with Angie?

And he can still get it.

And he don't make that much.

And her whole damsel in distress routine.

And how much press we get.

And I appreciate it.

And I better not find out that you're late to that school.

And I can't believe you, Eddie.

And I didn't know Quis was gonna be here today.

And I do dental work, too, if it gets out of hand.

And I don't see nobody out there strong enough to take it from me.

And I got some homemade banana pudding from BJ's Market.

And I hope we good.

And I know I've been working a lot.

And I know whatever happens,

And I never get denied.

And I think that Mr. Palmer and Ms. Norris

And I told them how they was a bunch of conjugal visits gone bad.

And I want everybody to have a blessed day

And I want you to know that I see it,

And I'll never forget what you gave me.

And I'm not about to leave him out here

And I'm not talkin' about for the country.

And I'm not the only one that feels this way, Chicago.

And I'm sorry about that Draya mess.

And if you wanna be Beyoncé featuring Jay Z...

And it gotta start somewhere, man.

And it's infused with coconut oil right out the womb, okay?

And it's up to us to change it, so, we wanna hear y'all ideas.

And just came here to show my support, man.

And just so you know, Ronnie, your ex,

And leave your ass for some chick on Instagram!

And let me release some of that stress.

And let's not forget about my Gangsta Grub rub!

And no disrespect,

And now you throwing that shit back in my face?

And now, it's just a club,

And of course, my first love, my wife, Jennifer,

And offered you them drawers, you trying to tell me you wouldn't

And open it up for you.

And personally, I think he's doin' a great job.

And second of all

And she can iron a shirt.

And some nice big broad shoulders,

And somehow they made it happen.

And that hurts like hell.

And that's French.

And that's why I like you.

And the birth of a new era.

And the fight that happened today,

And the hoes have officially won.

And the home of the Cubs, Bulls,

And the perfect excuse for me to get out.

And the rest of the team down at the shop

And the rest of y'all, council vote next week. Don't forget.

And then don't be having no money for your rent.

And then I'll cut right through the middle there

And then put it back in your head.

And then we can get the Chicago celebs

And then you say it's our fault, right?

And there's no rules on how to be a straight dude.

And they tinkle all over your shirt.

And they're coming down here. They're coming after me, Calvin.

And tomorrow, I'm gonna re introduce you to the concept of a belt.

And we got nothing but witch hazel!

And we just trying to make sure our kids get to their 18th birthday.

And we salute Chicago's own South Side Champs.

And we say it starts here this weekend for two days.

And we're going to sacrifice our only son to this system?

And what all you do is sell fake ID,

And what are we supposed to do?

And who's supposed to pay for these free gifts?

And you believed him?

And you didn't even tell us?

And you don't see us lying and cheating, and going out buying sports cars.

And you gonna take it there with me?

And you need to read a newspaper.

And your sofrito sauce don't taste better than me!

And, um...

And...

Angie, do you wanna get that?

Angie, this conditioner should last you for the next two weeks.

Angie, you got 20 bucks?

Anthony Davis paid a visit to the South Side.

Anthony's gone.

Appreciate it, man.

Appreciate that.

Are being deferred even as we speak.

Are we good?

Are y'all gonna play me like that?

Are you okay, Rashad?

Are you serious right now?

Are you serious?

Are you serious? Is he okay?

Are you talking about Kenny?

Are you trying to say Jalen's in a gang?

As a former barber in the shop,

As opposed to what?

As the only non n**** in the room, I'd like to say,

Ass so fat you can see it from the front.

At least 20 others wounded in shootings since Thursday.

At least 24 people were shot and injured.

At the end of the day we can't expect people

At the private schools, or remember Holy Cross

B, your cell number's in my old phone. I got a new Galaxy.

Babe, you in the bathroom?

Babe.

Baby, are you okay? Did anybody hit you?

Baby, I just wanted you to know that you were right!

Baby, look, look.

Baby, that's a gang out there.

Baby, you gotta chill. Nothing happened.

Baller alert!

Bam!

Barbers don't provide the full menu of services that I do.

Barbershop used to be a place of peace.

Barry. Come on, now.

Be up there quick fast in a hurry.

Because dreams apparently

Because every time I open my mouth

Because I don't know what a 15 year old could be busy doing

Because I love you, that's why.

Because if Halle Berry came walking in right now

Because if you in this, you in this for life.

Because if you're thinking about backing out...

Because ifs just not true.

Because it is... It is riveting.

Because most of those knuckleheads

Because of some fight

Because that's what he do.

Because we didn't act when we had a chance.

Because we didn't act when we had a chance.

Because y'all keep bringing up that same old bull?

Because you get me.

Because you never gave up on me.

Before the ceasefire's officially back on.

Before y'all pack up your stuff,

Ben Frank style.

Besides,

Birds fly around, birds come back on his hand.

Black lives matter!

Boy, this whole city is mine. These are my blocks.

Boy, you better ask somebody.

Boys and Girls Club. Yeah.

Bree, this is not the time...

Bree, you wanna sign the card?

Bring it on, Eddie! Bring it on.

Bruh, we got a problem right now.

Bullshit!

Busted!

But all the girls that you like on Instagram have exactly that.

But Barack has definitely got bitches.

But does anybody else here see the hypocrisy

But every president has a side chick.

But he's gonna make it.

But here's the thing.

But homegirl in a catsuit, though, she could get it.

But I got this sofrito sauce on the stove, I'll be back.

But I need you to know

But I shouldn't have put you in that position.

But I think Angie is the one you...

But I wanted to tell you, and I told Rashad,

But I'd be shocked if they voted yes, when so many have voted against it.

But I'm fine with that.

But I'm not gonna spend every day

But it might also decrease violence in the neighborhood,

But Jalen depends on me to do everything.

But let me just say this.

But listen,

But recently,

But since he's been with us, he's done nothing to help out.

But somethings gotta be done out here.

But sometimes a brother needs to hear it.

But the council, they're all out of ideas just like everybody else.

But the way you was talking, it felt like you wanted to...

But there's also a reality of what we face in our communities.

But they go in though.

But they look out for me.

But we ain't never gave up.

But we done lost a whole bunch more if we didn't do that ceasefire.

But we just asking for two days.

But we probably saved more lives than we know.

But what else we supposed to do?

But who cares?

But y'all been a little bit overwhelmed,

But y'all do the same thing in reverse.

But y'all n****es know good and well

But you ain't gonna never call me a bitch again.

But you gotta acknowledge

But you gotta care about this.

But you know that, though, right, Kenny?

But you know what? What if we made that mix up happen again?

But you right.

But, Dad, there's a three on three tournament this weekend!

But, God, you should be ashamed to walk out the house like this.

By a show of hands, who got a itch?

Bye, Anthony Shmanthony.

Bye.

Bye.

Cal,

Cal, you want me to take care of this for you?

Cal!

Calm down. I need you to calm down.

Calvin, before I take that check,

Calvin, come on, man. You know I'm just joking, man.

Calvin, come on, now.

Calvin, help me!

Calvin, I messed up this time, man.

Calvin, is that true?

Calvin, my man. You're my man, right?

Calvin, we made a commitment to see this thing through.

Calvin, you never lost my support.

Calvin, you really gonna let him be up in the shop?

Calvin, you really just gonna let this fool come slidin' up in here

Calvin! Calvin?

Calvin! Don't.

Calvin.

Calvin...

Calvin's shop, Bree speaking.

Can I say n****es?

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Can make a big difference.

Can we get back to it?

Can you help me put these away in the back?

Carefully, very carefully.

Catholic school?

Certified check. Nice.

Check this out. I already created a Twitter campaign.

Chicago native and NBA superstar

Chicago,

Chicago, stand up.

Children are dying in the street.

Chill out! Chill out! Look...

Clothes don't signify someone's sexuality.

Come back in an hour.

Come back in an hour.

Come back tomorrow.

Come here, girl!

Come here, let me get your beard.

Come on, babe, please.

Come on, Bree.

Come on, bruh.

Come on, Calvin! Come on!

Come on, Draya.

Come on, Eddie. Represent now.

Come on, girl!

Come on, Jason.

Come on, now, hook your man up.

Come on.

Come on. Baby, come here, I got you.

Come on. Just because I'm thick, it doesn't mean I don't have a soul.

Come over here. This is the last one.

Come together and show the world

Constitutional right!

Cool.

Cool. n****es.

Couldn't say his name. She used to call him Barath.

Crazy, Dad.

Crazy!

Dad, come on, I need it.

Dad, come on. You know I'm busy with homework and basketball.

Damn right!

Damn right.

Damn shame.

Damn, I see you getting that chop over there, girl.

Damn, man. Is it One Stop or non stop? Take the check.

Damn, you're like TMZ.

Damn!

Damn!

Damn!

Damn! She said, You wanna come inside and talk...

Damn.

Damn.

Damn. Now what's going on?

Damn. Oh.

Deal.

Dear Chicago,

Deep dish pizza,

Did his blackness stop that?

Did it stop Trayvon Martin, or Michael Brown,

Did she just say fleek?

Did Terri cut the edges off the bread like she does for the baby, too?

Did y'all hear my name on the radio?

Did you come to get a cut, man, or are you here to see Eddie twerk?

Did you hear what he said?

Did you tell them they was awesome?

Didn't Quis say to chill this weekend?

Do I ever question it?

Do I look like Father Flanagan?

Do I need to check the closet?

Do we still have those cameras in the back?

Do y'all need a minute? Because we'll all leave.

Do you know how many people get shot on this block, every single week?

Do you know what all these people got in common?

Do you know what cuttin' off these streets is gonna do to traffic?

Do you know who these people are?

Do you know your mama found gang paraphernalia in your drawer?

Do you realize how much good quality R&B we'd have missed out on,

Do you?

Do you.

Does anybody else have any other ideas?

Does everybody in here that's working...

Does One Stop even know what escrow means?

Does our president's blackness,

Does that mean we're cool?

Doesn't matter if a woman tries to wash your crusty ass drawers every night.

Doesn't matter if she fixes him a special batch of vegan chili,

Doing a little press opp for the mayor's office?

Don Cornelius,

Don't be mad at me because you can't

Don't Be So Mean greens in there for you today, too.

Don't even get riled up like that, Terri.

Don't lump us all in there.

Don't no woman want no moist Duncan Hines ass dude like Jerrod.

Don't touch me with that hand. Don't touch me in general.

Don't touch me!

Don't worry about nothing, man. Your unibrow is safe with me.

Don't... Don't just make up words.

Doubling the amount of cops on the streets this weekend.

Doubling the amount of cops on the streets this weekend.

Draya is right, we need some incentive to bring people out.

Draya works in a barbershop.

Draya, don't worry about that. I got some

Draya, it fell...

Draya! Draya!

Draya! What's up, baby girl?

Dumbass.

Each one of y'all want a super thug

Eddie, come on, you can twerk.

Eddie, don't go out there, they're gonna kill ya!

Eddie, even if you don't agree,

Eddie, if you came in here on some Ol' Man River shit.

Eddie, not cool.

Eddie, stop playing! Get down!

Eddie, that's bullshit.

Eddie, the only hair getting stolen around here is Indian hair.

Eddie, worry about your section.

Eddie, you got it.

Eddie!

Eddie.

Eddie. Are you serious? Because I don't see nobody.

Eddie...

Edge you up real quick.

Eric Garner got killed on tape and it still didn't matter.

Especially the ones I'll never ever wanna see again as long as I live.

Even if you just want to talk, I'm a great listener.

Even the ones that don't know how to go home.

Even though chili is supposed to have meat in it!

Eventually,

Every day, y'all in here complaining about fake weaves and fake asses,

Every delicious piece of beef helps keep a bullet off the street.

Every time I turn around,

Every vote... Ass. Ass, ass, ass. That's what it is.

Everybody has equal opportunity to make it here.

Everybody just calm down. Let me just talk to you.

Everybody knows that chili has meat in it!

Everybody wanna be down,

Everybody, check your wallets.

Everyone be well. Good seeing y'all.

Everything you need is right here.

Ew, y'all ain't shit, man.

Ew!

Exactly, gentlemen.

Exactly.

Exactly. And half the businesses on this block are barely above water.

Exactly. Calvin's Shop.

Exactly. It ain't like politicians really listen to the people anyway.

Exactly. Your ancestors were immigrants.

Excellent choice.

Excuse me?

Excuse you, this is how I pay my rent.

Explaining myself to you, you, or you!

Finally.

Following behind some little wannabe thug.

For all that, I should have smashed.

For giving all my money to the first.

For introducing me to Rashad.

For moving the shop,

For real, bro.

For the community summit,

For their Sunday dinner. Mmm!

For what?

For what?

For you to just go on over there to the North Side.

For, get this, free haircuts,

Four, three, two...

Frame your face. Shit.

Free cuts the whole weekend?

From Englewood, East Side, crazy, wherever they from,

From Holy City tomorrow.

From Monster's Ball?

From some video shoot or some athlete's commercial.

From what? Some clippers?

Fruit punch every third meeting.

Gave him the George Jefferson.

Get it! Get it! Get it! Get it!

Get off me!

Get off me!

Get out of here, man.

Get up in it.

Get up in it. Now!

Ghetto office, you decorate somebody's shit.

Ghetto office.

Girl, how you gonna say, No shade, and then shade the shit out that lady.

Girl, I know.

Girl, my husband's got me all stressed out.

Give it a soft fade,

Give me a minute, brother.

Give me that!

Glad you came, man.

Go ahead, Jimmy.

Go get her.

Go on back to your seat, Poetic Injustice.

Go on in now, say what you gotta say.

Go on then.

Go on. Put that in a plastic cup.

Go, Calvin!

Go, hoes!

Go.

Gonna be a double breasted suit.

Good afternoon, everybody!

Good. Maybe it's time for you to meet some Catholics.

Got that right.

Gotta keep the little homies fresh, you feel me?

Government ain't good for nothing but giving you syphilis and flu shots.

Guychat. Guybarber. Snapchat.

Haircuts can stop bullets.

Half these hoes weren't even registered to vote before he ran for president.

Half your clients was mine to start.

Has everything on this bad boy...

Have a blessed day?

Have a seat right there.

Have a seat.

Have a seat.

Have you personally changed your mind about the enclosure,

He ain't coming around y'all broke n****es.

He ain't that kid no more, he with me.

He already had planned to

He called you by name?

He can let those birds go. Go, go! You know?

He died on the scene.

He don't even have no hair. You guys are tripping!

He funny. He make me laugh.

He got a point, Eddie.

He got shot in the face?

He got sticky fingers.

He got...

He has a standing appointment with me every other week.

He just got a $47 million contract.

He knows better than that. He wouldn't do that.

He like them big like that.

He might be Swiss. I mean...

He named himself to it. So, he's Swiss. He's Swiss.

He said he was too busy, which is really funny,

He said, Have a blessed day.

He swear he cute.

He used to be one of ours.

He was gonna tell her

He was involved in that fight, which turned out to be gang related.

He was never good enough for you.

He was quivering like Terrence Howard at the Oscars.

He was special.

He was walking home from the library.

He was wild!

He's at the park. Cornell Square.

He's gonna turn around.

He's just green, stringy,

He's not just the president of black America.

He's old and decrepit!

He's strongly considering joining one.

He's the President of the United States of America.

He's trying to act like it. Boy, you not a tough guy!

Head must tilt a certain way.

Heard you balled out this season.

Hell nah.

Hell, been stoned, been groped,

Hell, I'm the one who told him to marry Michelle.

Hell, nah.

Hell, no, it ain't easy. Hell, no.

Hell, no. Halle Berry crazy as hell.

Hell, yeah, dude! You know how much money

Hell, yeah, that's what I like to hear.

Hell, yeah! Ha ha!

Hell, yeah! What do you think?

Hell! It'll take me too long to get back up.

Her name was Josephine.

Here, man. Here's the check.

Hey, Aisha!

Hey, boy!

Hey, Calvin, I finished reorganizing that supply closet.

Hey, D, what's up, man?

Hey, don't tell nobody.

Hey, Eddie, man, look. I pay booth rent like everybody else does in here.

Hey, Eddie. What's up, man?

Hey, hey, hey! Hey! The language!

Hey, hey, what's up, Big Eddie?

Hey, I got that tater salad for your mama!

Hey, I know that.

Hey, Jerrod, get out the man's face.

Hey, Kenny.

Hey, man, hurry up.

Hey, Rev.

Hey, thanks for taking care of me earlier, Rashad.

Hey, what up, J.D.?

Hey, what you doing now?

Hey, what's going on?

Hey, what's up, Dad? How's everything?

Hey, what's up, everybody?

Hey, what's up, Terrence?

Hey, what's up?

Hey, who wants some chicken wings?

Hey, who's winning over here, now? What's goin' on?

Hey, why don't y'all just keep moving?

Hey, yo, Shad. Hey, man!

Hey, yo, shorty, run them kicks.

Hey, you know, trying to do my thing.

Hey!

Hey! Congratulations, Miss Paxton.

Hey.

Hey. But this ain't no free clinic.

Hi. Who are you here to see?

High jacking and robbing Puerto Ricans for their hair.

His behavior is different.

His grades have started to slip.

His knees were showing.

His teachers have noticed it.

His test scores...

Hit me up anytime you want. I'mma see you later.

Hmm?

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Hold on, let me get my stuff.

Hold on!

Hold on! Wait a minute!

Hold on! Wait a minute!

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on!

Hold on. Okay. All right. Okay.

Hold the pork!

Hold up, Calvin! What's going on in here?

Hold up, hold up. We've got one little problem.

Hold up. Now, that's not what I was suggesting.

Homeboy be rocking six inch stilettos and a perm,

Honestly, I thought that it was more about

Honestly, it's as simple as that.

Hope so.

How about dinner tomorrow night?

How about some sweet potato pie? All right.

How are you?

How can you give up like this?

How do you think the West Indies happened, okay?

How many times I gotta say ain't nothing happened?

How much you charge for them weaves?

How you doing, brother? You good?

How you doing, Mr. President? My name's Calvin.

However, there were some setbacks that black people faced

Huh?

Huh'? Who wants some non profit Gangsta Grub?

I agree.

I ain't dying in that old raggedy ass unisexual shop.

I ain't getting down there, it ain't worth it.

I ain't leave you nowhere, man.

I ain't tripping, right? I ain't been out the game that long.

I ain't trying to have Jalen get caught up,

I am aroused though, I ain't gonna lie.

I am your partner!

I appreciate it, too.

I appreciate you coming through here.

I appreciate you saying that.

I bet that shit was empty.

I bet you don't.

I bet you he won't be talking back to his mama no more.

I bet you Hillary's got a side chick.

I booked him. I booked him.

I came back to you.

I came in here to say,

I can fix it! I can fix it!

I can hear you. I'm good.

I can help. You know I have counseling services.

I can make out on these streets in a 48 hour...

I can't be caught outside with no car and it's dark and they're shooting...

I can't believe that you expect your visual fantasy

I can't believe y'all spend all that money on weaves anyway.

I can't do this, man.

I can't even recognize that place no more.

I can't go much lower than this now.

I can't run, Calvin. I'm old.

I can't take it.

I can't think of the last time we went two hours

I can't wait to give her this D.

I cannot believe that crazy man came in the store doing that today.

I could never ask for a better partner than you.

I could pick up Maya, like, whenever you need me to.

I cut the man's hair years ago. I know what I'm doing right here.

I damn near got robbed the other day.

I did get robbed the other day.

I did want to tell you that if you and Rashad

I didn't come here to bring anybody down, okay?

I didn't give up.

I didn't sell nobody out, man. I've been here for years!

I do not sound like that.

I do want to talk to you all about this council vote that's coming up next week.

I do.

I don't care what neighborhood they from. They from Chatham,

I don't care, I don't like that bitch.

I don't care, we can be quiet. Let's go.

I don't care, we can be quiet. Let's go.

I don't even know no black Swiss.

I don't even know no black Swiss.

I don't even recognize the neighborhood no more.

I don't feel like I need to cheat.

I don't feel lucky.

I don't know anybody in Catholic school.

I don't know what's happening out there, Calvin.

I don't know, Calvin.

I don't know!

I don't know. I think his dad said he had to come home.

I don't know. Why don't you go see?

I don't like white people either. Okay?

I don't think you understand, Eddie.

I don't wanna fight.

I don't want to hear it.

I don't want to hear that, man.

I don't want to state the obvious here, but this is a barbershop.

I don’t know, but don't you think sending him

I escort you to the bathroom and everything if I have to.

I find your nerdiness

I forgive you, Rashad.

I gave out.

I get it.

I got a little Asian lady who puts the suit together.

I got a son, too, man.

I got an appointment, too.

I got love for everybody in here.

I got my stuff. I'm all ready.

I got single, I got couple, I got group.

I got the little peanut butter and poverty sandwich.

I got the watches, I got the rings.

I got you, no worries.

I got you.

I got your message.

I gotta have them.

I guess I just figured

I guess.

I had to get mine in the back, like everybody else,

I hate to be the one to say this...

I hear about anything,

I just can't understand why people are still standing around

I just squeezed in another last minute appointment and I can't do it.

I just stopped by because I need to borrow $20.

I just wanna let you know. 'Cause you're my man.

I knew I wasn't tripping the other night.

I knew it. I should've never trusted you or that skank ass ho!

I know girls like Draya.

I know how it be, being a little homie. You know?

I know I do.

I know I was hard on you before,

I know it seems like a lot.

I know it's not the most ideal solution.

I know nothing happened.

I know that's right because that Who Smoked Your Okra

I know we need the money, so...

I know what non refundable means.

I know what you're doing, Eddie.

I know who you're talking about.

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.

I know y'all cool, be cooler.

I know you cool. I appreciate that.

I know you didn't come all the way over here to the South Side

I know you hold me down, I'm holding you down.

I know you're upset.

I know, but clearly, he's going through something.

I know, but listen, he didn't mean it!

I like that sharp suit.

I like them crazy.

I like who you are and you shouldn't feel pressured to change for anybody.

I love you, too, man.

I made a mistake.

I mean, all the progress you've made with the shop...